Helping Your Child Handle “Big Emotions”

How can I help my child and myself handle big emotions? The clinical term for “big emotions” is emotional dysregulation, which is the inability to control or regulate emotional responses.

The process of emotional regulation is complex and lifelong. Theoretically, we learn this skill first, the skill of relating to others second, and the ability to reason last. But, unfortunately, the skill of regulating is often not developed.

Think about the last time you lost your keys or cell phone. A family member asked, “Where did you have it last?” and you blew up. That person ap proached you with reason, but you responded without regulat ing your emotions. When dealing with difficult emotions, we must ensure regulation first, relation second, and reason third. Every time…In that order… Every time!

As we grow, emotional regulation skills develop through the rhythmic motion of play: running around the playground, swinging, kicking a ball back and forth, going across monkey bars, bouncing, throwing, and dancing. This rhythmic cycle starts when parents begin pacing or rocking to calm their crying infant. However, parents must continue to teach and model rhythmic motion skills to teach their children emotional regulation. In my opinion, this is where toddlers’ use of handheld devices is most detrimental to development. If the child is given a phone to “help him calm down,” instead of being held and rocked or encouraged to engage in rhythmic motion, he is not learning how to naturally self-soothe. Instead, your child is learning to distract himself from difficult emotions. As parents, we all need to intentionally incorporate rhythmic movement into our daily lives: running, walking, dancing, etc. We need to say to children, “I am really angry about something that happened at work today, so I am going for a walk to help my brain and body calm down.” Parents must model that they are not overwhelmed by their big emotions. As children grow older, they will imitate what we model.

We model the skills of relating by showing empathy. The best way to relate through empathy is by telling stories. In younger children, we talk about what just happened. For example, “You grabbed the cookie, and I would not let you have it, so you started to cry.” We relate to older children, teenagers, and adults by talking about a time we went through the same thing. Do not “one up” the other person just to say, “me too”. Remember, it is alright for them to feel big emotions! They will continue to experience them throughout their life. They just need to know that they are seen, heard, and understood.

We attempt to reason only after ensuring regulation and relation have successfully occurred. The step of reason usually occurs minutes, hours, or sometimes even days after the emotional dysregulation occurs. If we wait until our children can reason, their brains are optimized for the learning process.

Truthfully, the most common error I observe is that parents model emotional dysregulation. Therefore, your children’s ability to manage difficult emotions is directly related to YOUR ability to manage their uncomfortable feelings. Before reacting, make sure you are regulated, have spent some time compassionately relating to yourself or another person, and are fully able to reason.

Dr. Beth Long received her education in Counseling Psychology from Chapman University. She is a Licensed Professional Counselor and Board Certified Behavior Analyst. Beth has worked in six unique clinical environments across the country and currently owns Works of Wonder Therapy in Montgomery. Beth utilizes the knowledge from a variety of different disciplines to give her patients the best care possible. To learn more visit www.worksofwondertherapy.com.

Mania: the ABBA Tribute

Saturday, February 25 * 7 PM

Montgomery Performing Arts Center

From London’s West End to Las Vegas, MANIA the ABBA tribute (Formerly ABBA MANIA) remains the world’s No. 1 touring ABBA tribute show. In an exhilarating, two-hour recreation of one of ABBA’s most memorable concerts, MANIA brings to life the flamboyance of the ‘70s. This includes all of the uplifting, dance-inducing and sometimes heart-breaking songs from the iconic Swedish band, with fantastic costumes, staging, lighting and effects. So dig out those platforms, dust down those flares and enjoy all your favorite hits, including “Mamma Mia,” “Voulez Vous,” “Dancing Queen,” “Winner Takes It All,” “Waterloo,” “Fernando,” “Super Trouper” and many more. Visit www.maniatheshow.com.

2023 Wetumpka Mardi Gras Festival

Saturday, February 18 * 9 AM

Gold Star Park in Wetumpka

The Order of Cimarron is hosting our 9th Annual Mardi Gras Celebration and Parade in downtown Wetumpka. Vendors open at 9 a.m. with the parade rolling at 1 p.m.

Alabama Dance Theatre’s Spring Gala

Friday, March 3 * 7 PM

Saturday, March 4 * 2 pm

Sunday, March 5 * 2 pm

The Alabama Dance Theatre presents Spring Gala, A Celebration of the Season at Troy University’s Davis Theatre for the Performing Arts. Tickets on sale now! For information call 334-625-2590 or visit alabamadancetheatre.com.

Weekend to Remember Marriage Getaway

February 10-12 * Embassy Suites, Downtown Montgomery Take your marriage to the next level at FamilyLife’s Weekend to Remember® Marriage Getaway! This is more than just an escape from your busy schedule for a romantic weekend for you and your spouse. At Weekend to Remember, you’ll learn to connect with your spouse more intimately, understand God’s blueprints for a wonderful marriage, and draw from the experience and advice of leading marriage experts. Visit familylife.com/ weekend-to-remember for information.

Honda Battle of the Bands 2023

Saturday, February 18 * 7:30 PM

Alabama State University Stadium

Join hosts Rickey Smiley & Loni Love as they kick off HBOB 2023 - both live & virtually from Alabama State University - featuring one-of-akind musical performances. As part of Honda’s continued commitment to the HBCU community, HBOB 2023 will take place on an actual HBCU campus for the first time ever. Meet us LIVE in Montgomery for a celebration featuring world-class Marching Band performances, unrivaled HBCU Homecoming energy, and a must-see Halftime Performance! Visit hondabattleofthebands. com for tickets.

“Gypsy” by Pike Road Theatre Company

February 23 to March 12

Regarded by many theatre professionals as the finest musical ever created, Gypsy is the ultimate tale of an ambitious stage mother fighting for her daughters’ success - while secretly yearning for her own. The cel ebrated score by Jule Styne and Stephen Sondheim boasts one glorious hit after another, including: “Everything’s Coming Up Roses,” “Let Me Entertain You,” and more! Visit www.pikeroadtheatrecompany. org for tickets.

ANC Critter Crawl 5k and Yeti Dash

February 18th * Alabama Nature Center

The Alabama Nature Center (ANC) will host this 5K trail run is like no other! The Critter Crawl is a TRAIL RUN benefiting the ANC education programs that takes runners through a portion of the ANC’s 5 mile trail system. The Yeti Dash is a 1 mile trail system run.

Nature/critter costumes are mandatory for any guests who wish to participate in the Yeti Dash. While you are here, be on the lookout for the elusive Yeti, you just might be able to snag a picture with him! In addition to the races, there will be music, food, and vendors! Please see www.alabamawildlife.org or call 334-285-4550 for more details.

An Expressive Evening

Thursday, February 23 * 6 to 7:30 PM

Montgomery Museum of Fine Arts

Experience art, dance, music, poetry and more created and performed by River Region teens at this annual showcase of artistic expression. Are you an artist or performer? Sign up to showcase your talents at An Expressive Evening at https://mmfa. org/event/an-expressive-evening-2/.

The weekend is a commemoration of the anniversary of “Bloody Sunday” and the Selma to Montgomery March. Join us on March 2-5, 2023 at the largest annual Civil Rights Commemoration event in the world, attended by three sitting presidents, hundreds civil rights leaders and thousands of attendees. Visit www.selmajubilee.com for details and schedule.

The Tempest by William Shakespeare

ASF * February 23 through March 12

Shakespeare’s final play is a story of adventure, magic, music, and forgiveness. Prospero has been exiled on an island with his daughter for more than a decade when he conjures a storm that crashes his enemies on the island in a violent shipwreck. What follows is a story that asks, “How do we forgive and move on after we have been harmed?” Rick Dildine directs, and ASF alumnus Greta Lambert stars as Prospero. Recommended for 13 and up. Visit asf.net.

Night to Shine

Friday, February 10

Wynlakes Golf and Country Club

Thorington Road Baptist Church is thrilled to partner with the Tim Tebow

Foundation for Night to Shine 2023. We will enjoy great music, dancing, karaoke, food, and lots of other fun things! Night to Shine is an unforgettable prom night experience centered on God’s love, for people with special needs, ages 14 and older. Visit www.trbaptist.org.

Teachers are arguably the backbones of society, and there’s no question they’re the backbones of schools. So a teacher representing their craft is truly a gift, and this month, we pay tribute to one of Pike Road’s finest teachers, Daisha Henderson.

Since 2017, Ms. Henderson’s passion for teaching has only blossomed. With a degree in Elementary Education/Collaborative Special Education K-6 and a Master’s Degree in Instructional Leader, she’s putting her expertise to work at Pike Road Elementary School.

“Second grade is the sweet spot! Teaching second grade is the absolute best.” Ms. Henderson shares her enthusiasm as she embraces changing the lives of learners at a tender age. She believes that although they’re still playful and innocent, they also gain more confidence and independence. Ms. Henderson loves witnessing them as they begin to think critically and defend their thinking.

As Ms. Henderson entered the doors of Pike Road Elementary, her zest for teaching heightened as she witnessed an environment dedicated to student-centered learning. The school believes teachers are designers, facilitators, and

Daisha Henderson Pike Road Elementary School

navigators who improve the learning experience. This belief assured her that her role at PRES would always be respected and valued. She shares, “Those attributes with the community and culture at Pike Road made deciding to join the Patriot family effortless.”

Her classroom is her place to connect with her students in ways that only she can, and her teaching goals include providing quality learning, engaging the community, and developing expertise. “I want to provide learning opportunities for all students and motivate them to take ownership of their learning.”

Ms. Henderson believes teaching means uplifting, nurturing, inspiring, and empowering her students. Her learners are at the center of everything she does as a teacher. Her students need to know that she values them and their interests. Teaching and education will forever be an undeniable passion for Ms. Henderson, as she can’t imagine herself working outside the field of education. In the future, she plans to transition into a school leadership role when the time is right.

Kindergarten Enrollment More Important Than Ever

Parents must make choices during their child’s development that have the potential to alter the course of the child’s future. One of the easiest of these choices is enrolling them in kindergarten.

While the state of Alabama only requires children between the ages of 6 and 17 to attend school, kindergarten is open to all 5-year-olds and is available at no cost, and it can have lifelong benefits. Studies show that not only does attending kindergarten lead to greater academic achievement, it also helps children develop crucial social and emotional skills. Kindergarten is a crucial building block as we commit to providing a 21st-century oriented education to all students.

Kindergarten helps set the stage for a child’s entire school career. Children learn about making friends, sharing, cooperating and treating others with respect. Kindergarten helps children learn to express themselves through language and explore their creativity. It builds the foundation for strong literacy and numeracy skills. Kindergarten also helps children build confidence and self-esteem and gives them a greater awareness of the world around them.

Kindergarten provides key preparation for the years of school to come. Any first-grade teacher can tell you that students who have attended kindergarten are much less likely to struggle. In the kindergarten classroom, children develop their vocabulary and conversation skills through interaction and steady exposure to language. Teachers contribute to this development by asking questions that help students make new connections. Hands-on activities in kindergarten also help children develop cognitive skills. The classroom environment stimulates students’ curiosity and encourages them to engage their imaginations. All of this helps prepare them for the more challenging lessons they will encounter in later grades.

Social and emotional development is equally important. Kindergarten provides opportunities for children to learn how to be around others and to manage their emotions. Being away from home helps children develop a sense of independence and selfconfidence. First grade can be a shock to children who are not used to being around others in a school environment.

This month, we will be reaching out to our community, inviting parents and prospective students into our schools to discover what we offer to incoming kindergartners. We are excited to meet our families, and we look forward to forging lasting relationships. If we all embrace early childhood education, the entire community stands to reap the rewards.