17 minute read
Dinner’s Ready
Screen Time: A Quick “Win” To Help Parents Feel More in Control
Do you feel like you can never stay on top of what your children are doing on their devices? Do you feel overwhelmed when you think about monitoring their ongoing social media activity, not to mention the 400 apps they use. Okay, let’s be honest, if your kids are older than nine, they are probably only REALLY interested in two apps… Snapchat and TikTok. In any case, I like to give parents what I call an “easy win” when it comes to monitoring their kids.
We need something that helps us feel like we are providing some safety. We know we want them to be viewing age appropriate material and we do not want them to be on their devices ALL THE TIME. Have you ever heard yourself saying to your kid, “Get off the phone. Get off the phone. GET OFF OF THAT PHONE!” This is where we can have that “easy win”.
First, though, let’s chat a minute about device use. The rise in anxiety, depression and suicide has been linked directly to constant unrestricted device time. Suicide is now the second leading cause of death among those in their late teens and early twenties. As parents, we want to protect our children, while also allowing them access to media so they don’t feel left behind. Where is the balance? And what can we do?
To start, children and teens should never have a device, any device, that is not monitored for both age related time AND content. The phone settings should be set so that at least the time allowed on the phone, and the information viewed online, coincides with the child’s or teen’s age. How do we do this? Set screen time on your child’s device. It is free and easy to do, as well as easy to monitor. Here are the steps you can follow to set screen time. In Settings on your child’s phone, scroll down to Screen Time. Click on it. Here you will find everything you need. First, you will want to scroll down and click on Screen Time Passcode. Set the passcode. Make sure it is one you can remember and your child will not figure out. This prevents them from making any changes to what you set on the phone. Next, go back to Screen Time and click on Down Time. Here you decide how much time your child gets to spend on his/her device. You can customize it by days, and drill down to hours. It is beautiful! When their allowed time is finished, an hourglass will pop up, and they will not have access to the phone until you have it set to “wake up” next. You can even put time limits on certain apps or completely restrict certain apps from the phone, as well as certain websites.
Next, go to Content and Privacy Restrictions. This allows you to set age appropriate restrictions for content. NOTE: This only monitors content online. It will not monitor the content coming through specific apps. You also want to go to the “Allow Changes” section under Content Restrictions. Click “Do Not Allow” on each one. This prevents your child from uploading or downloading any apps without permission.
A quick secret… you will not hurt or break the phone, so spend time scrolling through Screen Time and looking at all it has to offer! The main thing to note is to always remember the passcode because it will lock you out if you forget.
In addition to providing these protections, start having open conversations with your child. Start doing random device checks. Give yourself some support by putting in place monitoring systems that will make your job easier. Do not forget to rely on your support systems outside of tech as well... your friends, counselor, school, resource officers. It truly takes a village.
If you find yourself needing extra support, I am here. Please do not hesitate to reach out!
Kristi Bush serves as a national education consultant and social media safety advocate. She is a licensed social worker with greater than 15 years of clinical practice and health care experience. She attended Troy and Auburn University where she studied social work and counseling. Kristi travels nationally and has spoken with thousands of children, parents, professionals and organizations about the benefits and threats associated with social media. You may reach Kristi through her website at www.knbcommunications.com.
by Kimberley Carter Spivey
Mandy Moody is a stay-at-home mom and director of the Classical Conversations (CC) campus at Gateway Baptist Church in Montgomery. She is married to Jeff Moody, COO at MMI Outdoor, and they have three children: Ollie (13), Savell (11), and Lela (9).
Mandy has always enjoyed cooking, but several years ago, she and Jeff realized they needed to make some lifestyle changes and start looking for ways to eat healthier in their household. By doing so, Mandy realized that one of the crucial components to eating healthy is eating at home. She started researching different ways to incorporate various ingredients into her meals. Through research, she found that books and other available resources would be an asset to her family.
Mandy explains, “We’ve discovered some gluten and dairy intolerances in our family, so I’ve had to expand my searching for good meals without bread and cheese. Thankfully, there are so many resources available that I don’t have to look too hard.”
Mandy credits her cooking skills to two favorite women in her life, her mom and grandmother. Growing up, she learned a lot from them both. However, most of her education took place after her family decided to eat healthier. She explains, “Learning to cook is an ongoing experience. I never ate vegetables as a kid (if I could avoid them), and now they are a big part of my everyday meals.”
Since their homeschool co-op meets on Mondays, this mom of three is always game for a tasty crock-pot meal. Though the meal is much larger than they need, they have friends who are regular visitors on Monday evenings. Mandy is also a big fan of sheet pan meals with protein (usually chicken) and a series of vegetables, including brussels sprouts, carrots, and broccoli.
In the Moody household, meals are always a time for the family
to get together. While busy lives can sometimes interfere, the Moodys try to hold Monday dinners as often as possible. Below is a go-to recipe that checks all the boxes for Mandy and her entire family. It’s delicous, while also being gluten and dairy free!
Gluten Free Chicken Enchiladas
Ingredients
16 almond flour tortillas 6 cups of rotisserie chicken
For the sauce: 16 ounces of dairy-free cream cheese 2 cups of salsa verde 1 white onion 6 garlic cloves ½ cup of loosely packed cilantro leaves, no stems 6 tablespoons of GF flour 2 teaspoons of salt 2 cups dairy-free cheese
Directions
Preheat your oven to 400°F.
Add all of the ingredients for the sauce into a blender and blend on high until smooth.
In a large bowl, add prepared chicken with one cup of sauce from the blender. Mix well.
In a 9x13 baking dish, pour approx. 2 cups of sauce evenly into the bottom. Heat the stack of tortillas in the microwave for 4560 seconds to make them warm enough to bend without cracking.
Place approx. 2 ½ tablespoons of chicken mixture into a tortilla, roll up, and place seam side down into casserole dish, on top of sauce. Repeat with remaining tortillas.
Pour the remaining sauce on the rolled enchiladas and top with cheese. Bake at 400°F for 25 minutes, or until the dish is bubbly and cheese is melted and beginning to brown in spots. Enjoy warm and with your favorite toppings like fresh chopped cilantro, sour cream, lettuce, jalapenos, more salsa, etc.
Kimberley Carter Spivey is a freelance writer, blogger, author, and entrepreneur. When she’s not working as an Instructional Systems Designer and copy-editor on Maxwell AFB, she’s busy freelancing, blogging, or toiling away at her next book. Her debut book Bloom: How to Get from Good Enough to a Life You Love can be purchased on Amazon and girlyouwrite.com.
Want to really make your kids happy? Teach them the importance of giving to others. Contrary to common belief that kids need and want more “stuff” to be happy, science tells us that it is the act of giving to others that actually boosts happiness and can even improve health and other areas of their lives.
Believe it or not, children enter this world with a natural instinct to be compassionate to others. Scientists at the Max Planck Institute discovered that infants help others even though they are too young to have learned about being kind and polite. The children take action because of their own motivation, and not because they expect a reward.
Do children continue to show compassion as they grow? A breakthrough study by psychologists at the University of British Columbia determined that young children are happier to give than to receive. Toddlers who were asked to give away their own treats expressed greater happiness when they shared with others. The researchers interpreted the results of this study to mean that anytime people participate in pro-social behavior, such as volunteering and giving charitable donations, we experience an increase in happiness.
Children have the foundation to be kind, but it’s our job as parents to continue to nurture this part of them as they grow. If we neglect to do so, negative life experiences can unfortunately tear down this beautiful instinct.
How Giving Transforms Our Kids
Numerous studies have uncovered several ways that giving enhances our children’s lives. Boosts Happiness: When we make others happy by giving a gift or our support, we experience a physiological change called a helper’s high. It is a euphoric physical sensation resulting from our brain releasing chemicals called endorphins. According to Psychology Today, the helper’s high is a literal “high,” similar to a drug-induced sensation. It makes us feel good naturally, giving us a rush that leaves us elated and excited. This positive energy is similar to how we feel after exercising.
Improves Health: Research shows that giving leads to better health. In his book Why Good Things Happen to Good People, Stephen Post, a professor of preventative medicine at Stony Brook University, explains that giving to others has been shown to increase health benefits in people with chronic illness. In addition, a 1999 study led by Doug Oman of the University of California, Berkeley suggests that giving may improve physical health because it helps reduce stress. Finally, a 2006 joint study by Johns Hopkins University and the University of Tennessee indicated that people who helped others had lower blood pressure than participants who did not.
studies suggest that when we give, our generosity is ultimately rewarded by others. These positive actions promote a sense of trust and cooperation that strengthens our relationships. Moreover, we feel a bond towards those we help. All of this is important because having positive social interactions is central to good mental and physical health.
Encourages an Attitude of Gratitude:
When we give to those in need, we feel a sense of gratitude because it puts things in perspective. Volunteer work is a great opportunity for our children to appreciate what they have and gives them a glimpse of the broader world. Meanwhile, gratitude is another very important ingredient for happiness and good health.
Gives Children the Opportunity to
Inspire Others: Those who are on the receiving end of a good deed typically want to pass along that positive feeling and help others. Researcher James Fowlerat the University of California, San Diego found that just one act of kindness can inspire several more acts of kindness by others. In this case, children have the opportunity to be a mentor to others, inspiring a chain of kindness and compassion.
Teaching our children how to pay it forward is easier than you may think. There are endless opportunities to volunteer as a family and to give our children meaningful experiences that will enhance both their lives and the individuals they help. Here are some tips on how to incorporate giving into your children’s lives.
Discuss how they can help. Find a few
minutes during your day to ask your children who they would like to help. Provide some options like babies, animals, people without homes, children who do not have families, students who need books, or the elderly. Talk about the different types of projects you can do to help those in need. For some inspiration, read books about giving and kindness to your children.
Talk about the importance of chari-
table giving. If you choose to start a monetary collection for charity, consider creating or buying giving boxes for each child. Ask them to set goals about how much they would like to give throughout the year and which organizations they would like to donate to. Check in weekly or monthly
Help your children discover their
passion. Our passion should drive how we give because when we are excited about a project, we can put all of our heart and soul into it. Also, when we care about what we are working on, we will get more out of it and feel happier. Help your children identify their talents, skills, and interests that they can put to good use.
Find ways to volunteer as a family. By
volunteering as a family, you make giving a priority and build it into your children’s daily routine. You can find volunteer opportunities for your family by checking your local government website; searching for local charities in your area; asking friends and neighbors; or visiting sites like Idealist, VolunteerMatch, and JustServe.
By providing our children with opportunities to give, they will be happier and healthier and have the power to pass along that goodness to so many people.
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Sandi Schwartz is a freelance writer and frequent contributor.
Montgomery
Alabama Dance Theater “Mistletoe”
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November 12-14 @ The Davis Theatre for the Performing Arts 251 Montgomery Street Montgomery, AL 36104 Free on Friday, November 12 at 7 p.m. for Special Military, First Responders & Healthcare Providers Appreciation Night of Mistletoe. Valid ID’s required. The Alabama Dance Theatre will open its 35th season with a production of Mistletoe. Saturday, November 13, 2:00 pm; Saturday, November 13, 7:00 pm and Sunday, November 14, 2:00 pm. A Montgomery holiday tradition featuring Miss Kitty’s Favorite Dances of Christmas. Tickets will be available at alabamadancetheatre.com. (334) 625.2800 alabamadancetheatre.com
Alabama River Region Ballet “The Nutcracker”
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December 3-5 @ Davis Theatre 7981 Vaughn Road Montgomery, AL 36117 December 3 & 4 at 7 p.m. and December 5 at 2 p.m. “The Nutcracker,” choreographed by Stevan Grebel and set to music by Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, will thrill the audience with the prodigious dancing of the Youth Ballet Company and students from the school. With spectacular backdrops, scenery and a growing Christmas tree, this ballet is truly magical! (334) 356.5460 riverregionballet@gmail.com alabamariverregionballet.com
First Baptist presents Unto Us
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December 9-12 @ First Baptist Church 305 South Perry Street Montgomery, AL 36104 Thursday and Friday at 7 PM; Saturday and Sunday at 4 PM. Come experience the splendor of Christmas in historic Stakely Sanctuary as the FBC choir and orchestra present, Unto Us, a musical presentation that celebrates the birth of Jesus and the hope He brings. (334) 241.5156 montgomeryfbc.org
Frazer Christmas Events
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December 5, 19, 23, 24 @ Frazer UMC 6000 Atlanta Highway Montgomery, AL 36117 December 5: The Story of the Savior in Scripture and Song, 4 pm; December 19: A Service of Hope For Those Who Hurt, 4 pm.; December 23: Contemporary Christmas Eve Service, 6 pm.; December 24: Christmas Eve Services, Traditional at 4 pm and Contemporary at 6 pm. (334) 272.8622 www.frazer.church
2021 Capital City Tree Lighting
TBA @ Lister Hill Plaza 103 North Perry Street Montgomery, AL 36104 5:30 – Located in front of City Hall (334) 414.5522 montgomeryal.gov
Southern Homes & Gardens Christmas Open House
November 1-7 8820 Vaughn Road Montgomery, AL 36117 Join us for our annual Christmas Open House November 1-7! Enjoy an ENTIRE WEEK of storewide specials and shop new and exciting decor, trees, ornaments and more at our favorite event of the year! (334)387.0440 southernhomesandgardens.com
The Shoppes at EastChase
November 20 7274 Eastchase Pkwy Montgomery, AL 36117 6-8 p.m. In lieu of a parade, join us for Santa’s magical arrival featuring holiday festivities for the entire family. Enjoy live music by Pioneer Chicken Stand, holiday performance by Tonya Speed Dance, kids activities, photo booth by Studio Panache, performance by The Grinch, and more holiday surprises! Be on the lookout for the EastChase elves bringing around surprise goodies. To celebrate the holiday season, Santa will be bringing a little snow + a fireworks display! Stick around all night for festive fun near the main fountain! (334) 279.6046 suzanna@crawfordsq.com theshoppesateastchase.com
15th Annual Light the World: Interfaith Christmas Nativity Exhibit
December 1-5 @ Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints 3460 Carter Hill Road Montgomery, AL 36111 Open daily from 1 pm to 8 pm. Since 2006, this beloved tradition has shared the Christmas Spirit in the River Region with nativities from cultures around the world and concerts by local musicians. FREE for the whole community. MontgomeryNativity.com
Planetarium presents: “Tis the Season!”
December 1-17 @ Planetarium 1010 Forrest Avenue Montgomery, AL 36106 This great traces the development of many of the world’s endearing holiday customs, and how they involve lighting up the winter season, from the burning Yule log and sparkling Christmas tree lights, to the lighting of the Menorah and luminaries. It also recounts the historical religious and cultural rituals practiced during the time of winter solstice. Not only Christian and Jewish, but also Celtic, Pagan, Nordic, Roman, Egyptian and Hopi. It also takes a look at some of our more light-hearted seasonal traditions: from gift-giving and kissing under the mistletoe to songs about lords a-leaping, and ladies dancing. And the custom of decking the halls with greenery and candles. (334) 241.4799 montgomery.troy.edu/planetarium
Planetarium presents: Season of Light and The Alien Who Stole Christmas
December 1-18 @ Planetarium 1010 Forrest Avenue Montgomery, AL 36106 The Alien Who Stole Christmas--Ride along with Santa as he is abducted by a flying saucer on Christmas Eve. The UFO takes Santa on a tour of the solar system and shows him some unearthly children who were left off his list. Season of Light--This traditional Christmas offering is narrated by NPR’s Noah Adams. This show covers the various celebrations around the world which occur on or around the Winter Solstice. Extensive time devoted to the traditional Christmas story. (334) 241.4799 m01planet@troy.edu montgomery.troy.edu/planetarium
December 2 @ Christchurch 8800 Vaughn Rd. Montgomery, AL 36116 6:30 p.m. Candlelit Service of Lessons and Carols featuring Madrigal Voices of Montgomery, Montgomery Brassworks, and conductor Thomas Hinds. (334) 387.0566 info@christchurchmgm.net christchurchxp.net
