MENTALLY THINKING

{ SHIFT+CONTROL }{ MENTALLY THINKING } MASTERING NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS

BY BONNIE FLOYD

It’s the start of another new year. Many of us set New Year’s resolutions. Setting goals for changing our behavior is important for each of us throughout our lives. We each need goals to motivate us, each day, to achieve all that we are inherently capable of doing. Meeting our goals greatly enhances our self-esteem. It also provides increased motivation and drive for setting additional goals.

Some of the resolutions that we set are relatively modest in nature, whereas others are all-encompassing to achieve. Perhaps you want to give up an unhealthy habit, such as smoking. Regardless of which type of goal you’re trying to achieve, there are several key factors associated with improving your odds of meeting your goals.

First, it is important to set realistic goals. Setting realistic goals will go a long way in reducing the disappointment associated with not achieving a goal. Realistic goals are capable of being achieved with our innate talents, our currently available resources, and our level of commitment. Not setting realistic goals will inevitably result in enhanced frustration and disappointment. For example, an individual might desire to lose a total of fifty pounds. It’s entirely realistic to attempt to achieve this goal over the course of an entire year, whereas it’s not realistic to meet this goal within a two-week period.

Another key factor is achieving our goals is breaking each goal down into more manageable steps. For example, many years ago I set the goal of achieving my doctoral degree in clinical psychology. This required achieving multiple goals along the way, including receiving my associate’s, my bachelor’s, and two master’s degrees, prior to eventually receiving my Ph.D. This entire process took a total of fourteen years to achieve after my high school graduation. To be perfectly honest, I faced periods of intense frustration and discouragement while going through my academic training, due to the development of serious health problems. Nevertheless, I did my best to remind myself that I only needed to complete one semester at a time. In doing so, I successfully moved closer to the goal of earning my doctorate.

When attempting to achieve our goals, it is critical to refrain from perfectionism. Perfection is the enemy of good, after all. Individuals with perfectionistic tendencies will often spend much more time than is necessary on any given stage of achieving an important goal. As a recovering perfectionistic myself, I’m finally appreciating that “good is good enough” when trying to achieve a goal. Many years ago, I took a watercolor painting class. I soon learned to appreciate that perfectionism was highly detrimental to mastering this specific medium. Attempting to correct perceived errors while painting only resulted in defacing the delicate paper being used.

Mastering frustration is another important factor when trying to achieve a goal. We often encounter setbacks along the way to finally achieving our goals. I published a book, late last November. There was considerable frustration along the way to achieving this much-desired goal. In fact, I needed to carefully revise my initial manuscript, several times. This process was a very frustrating one. I needed to remind myself, several times, of just how much effort that I had already made in trying to achieve this goal. I also enlisted the expertise of a line-editor. I reasoned that another set of eyes could more easily find the mistakes that were inevitably sprinkled throughout my lengthy manuscript.

Another key factor in achieving goals is the ability to learn from our failures. Three years ago, I decided to open a shop in a small business co-op. I wanted to sell the wide range of polymer clay jewelry that I had been designing for the past couple of years. I had amassed an adequate inventory to open a store. However, I failed to thoroughly research the business aspects of establishing a store. I was certainly full of enthusiasm for taking on this new adventure, but I lacked the expertise in being able to successfully manage a business. Not so surprisingly, I eventually was forced to close my shop. Thankfully, I managed to learn a lot from not achieving this goal.

Finally, be sure to enlist support when you are attempting to achieve a goal. We all need to recognize our interconnectedness. Even the most talented, highly driven individuals do not achieve their goals completely independently. It’s impossible to be equally good in all areas. We need to recognize when to enlist the expertise of others in trying to obtain an important goal. I freely admit that I never would have been able to obtain my doctoral degree without the assistance of my parents; they provided enormous support in attending graduate school as a single mother of a daughter with chronic medical difficulties.

You’re capable of achieving your goals!