YOU MATTER

MAITRĪ

Maitrī is defined by Wikipedia as “benevolence, loving-kindness, friendliness, amity, good will, and active interest in others.” This word is translated from Sanskrit and is a virtue of Buddhism.

I believe with every fiber of my being that every single one of us has the potential to increase our loving-kindness to ourselves and to others. There are times in life when you take an action, like being kind, when perhaps you just were not feeling your kind vibe at the moment, that this kind action will do a plethora of positive things for the other person and for you. It becomes a positive party for everyone. Scientific research supports this. A Wall Street Journal (WSJ) article titled “Why Being Kind Helps You – Especially Now” states ““being kind—doing something to help someone else—can help you, too. Research links kindness to a wealth of physical and emotional benefits. Studies show that when people are kind, they have lower levels of stress hormones and their fight-or-flight response calms down. They’re less depressed, less lonely and happier.”

Buddha says “If you light a lamp for someone else, it will also brighten your path.”

In reading the news and hearing comments from many individuals about the negativity going on in the world, often, not always, it seems like too many of us ask the question “Why isn’t this person or that person doing this, doing that, doing more or doing less.” I must confess that used to be me. One day I had this light bulb moment, a moment of internal clarity. Instead of being a back seat driver I could hop into the driver’s seat

BY JUDI SWANSON

to see what actions I would do to make a difference, to be the change I wish to see in the world. This isn’t always easy and there are times I want to say this is not my problem because it appears to not directly impact me. Yet as being a human on this planet who shares space with all of you other humans, an assortment of other creatures and more, it does impact me. As Marshall McLuhan states “There are no passengers on spaceship earth. We are all crew.” Yes all of us are crew, in this giant rocky, challenging, glorious, joyous boat called Earth.

My chosen career path immerses me with people struggling with a variety of challenges that affect them with different degrees of intensity. My humanness, from my own experiences of challenges, to seeing people I love struggle, has taught me to not judge or shame. I used to judge and shame myself, which carried over into all of my relationships and perspectives of others. No one wants to be dealing with hard stuff, even when some of their choices got them there. So what if we simplified it all. For ourselves and for others. We take a loving-kindness perspective for ourselves and for others. We use a “so what, now what” forward moving action step? After working on myself to change how I saw myself, and others, it helped me to be a kinder, gentler, and more loving person. I was happier and prouder of the person I am. “Start where you are, use what you have, do what you can.” Arthur Ashe

The majority of us know when we are making decisions that are not healthy for us. We know when we are taking an action that is not in our best interest. Our mind, body, and soul sends signals, which all of us, myself included, have ignored. Nothing feels right about a decision yet you make it. Your insides can be screaming at you to not doing something and you do it. Perhaps something terrible or tragic happens. What if, instead of berating ourselves, or someone else, we were loving, kind, and caring. We use compassion and empathy. It does not mean we forget what happened. I know when I have made a mistake or a decision I should not have. What if we gift to ourselves, and others, the same kindness and care we give to children who make mistake by guiding each other to better decisions and choices. Think about what kind of world that would be.

“Be careful of how you are talking to yourself because you are listening.” Lisa M. Hayes

My thought today is to be kind and gentle to yourself. Work on changing those inner thoughts of how you talk to yourself. Change the inner and outer conversations you have about others. Even if you are not believing your words, you can fake it, and if you fake it long enough, say it long enough, your brain will believe it. By changing the words you use and how you say things will change your brain, your heart, your soul. You deserve all the loving-kindness in the world. Give it to yourself. Give it to others. You have the power and ability to be the person you want to be. You matter. Who you are and what you do makes a difference.

May your Maitrī be with you.