Direct Response & Writing Critiques Advertising12-200 cherise hoefler &ross healy Kelly Alessandra Macleod 13128555
Critique: Victoria Secret.EDM
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Critique: Victoria Secret.EDM Established by Roy Raymond in 1977, Victoria Secret has become one of the biggest brands for women's lingerie today. Through successful marketing and advertising campaigns, the brand has focused heavily on digital mediums in gaining constant brand awareness in building a global empire. Lingerie, swimwear, perfume, cosmetics and sportswear are only a few of the many items sold online and in-store; catering to young girls from ages fifteen and over. 'LOVE PINK' a gateway brand into Victoria Secret was created for a younger target audience, emphasising 'cute rather than sexy'. On the 23rd of July, I received an email offer from Victoria Secret with the subject line, 'Score a FREE PINK beach blanket. Today only! As much as I love the brand and adore all items sold, I often find myself deleting their emails without opening them as I receive on average three emails a day from them. I have often been irritated with the amount of emails I receive from them and have often contemplated unsubscribing, but love the brand too much to do so. The only reason I opened this email was due to receiving a "Free beach blanket" as I am in need of one. The use of images in the email were beautiful, placed well according to layout and white space. The images and typography were consistent to the brand and colour coordinated well. The timely nature of the offer for the beach towel states "Today only online, Free beach blanket with a $75 purchase". The fine print reads, must include one pink item and states the code for the online purchase. The measurability of this offer is fair and clearly states the terms and conditions for the offer. There is an unsubscribe button which is great and has all buttons hyperlinked to take the customer to the website to start shopping and browsing through sales and promotions. I particularly liked the EDM, as it showcased other offers, not just the beach towel. The website clearly showcases their social media buttons which take you directly to their large social media following. Terms and conditions are clearly stated for each offer, which results in a lot of copy towards the end of the email, which quite often is ignored by the customer as its cluttered. One major factor that irritates me about most of Victoria Secret emails is that their database has clearly not been organised or filed correctly. I am an Australian resident and the amount of emails I receive for American only sales, perfume or other promotions is ridiculous. As I often receive similar emails for their flash sales and get super excited, I often ended up annoyed as I can't claim the offer due to living in another country apart from Australia. The call-to-action on this particular email is clearly stated on the image of the beach towel and the timeliness is urgent as it states" today only". There is a "Shop now" button on the image to drive customers to the website to purchase items and receive the free beach towel.This is great for driving sales and making the customer want to purchase straight away to receive their free gift. Overall, the EDM was great, ticks all the boxes for direct response, however they could improve on their database and the use of white space.
Improvement: Mura boutique.Sign up offer
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Improvement: Mura boutique.Sign up offer
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Improvement: Mura boutique.Sign up offer Disappointed would be an understatement for the lack of creativity Mura Boutique had in their "thank you for signing up" email offer. Earlier this semester I signed up to the brand after scouting a few products I liked on their Instagram page with a friend. After signing up to multiple competitive brands, my idea of a sign up offer EDM was completely different to what I received from Mura Boutique. From top to bottom of the email I received from Mura, it felt like I had received the wrong email, particularly an unfinished design and major editing needed. The subject line was not personalised, as majority of the emails I receive from boutique stores often mention my name to create personalisation. As I feel personalisation is extremely important, "Hello new customer" turned me off instantly as I knew it was a generated email and put a bitter taste in my mouth. Throughout the copy there is a form of coding, which is confusing and incorrect. The fairytale theme within their copy could have worked, if images were placed throughout the layout of the offer, including models showcasing clothing or something that relates to the brand for first time customers to have a positive vibe and want to tell friends about. The thank you for signing up email does not offer any discount or incentive for signing up, which concludes to a very below average email compared to other boutique EDM's. I find this a major negative in direct response advertising as there is no call-to-action to generate profit for the boutique, as it does not entice the customer to want to shop, browse or feel inclined to tell friends about.Boutique EDM's showcase their social media platforms through the use of social media buttons, which directly takes you to their sites, however Mura Boutique lack in that department too. Their social media "buttons" were only words, which could be easily missed. I took this email offer as an opportunity to create something I would have liked to have received after signing up to their website. I decided to make it personalised by stating the customers name. The same would apply in the subject line, creating personalisation. "Welcome to Mura Boutique Kelly, special offer just for YOU!" As the brand is feminine, I incorporated a girly layout with the use of soft lilac colours and cursive writing. I used an image from their website to be consistent with the brand, as well as incorporated their logo towards the left. This is to have a clear layout as the image is placed on the right with the offer centered to attract attention. As the customer has just signed up to the boutique, I felt it is important to entice the customer to purchase straight away and browse through the boutique and all items for sale. The offer is $10 off and will be hyperlinked taking them straight to the website to start shopping. I also included the code for online purchases with a girly name "Fashionista14" sticking to all things feminine and fashion forward. Social media buttons were included in the shape of icons, which will take the customer directly to all social media platforms to gain followers and communicate to the customer in multiple ways. I also included an 'unsubscribe button' as it is a must in EDM's to abide by rules and regulations in advertising. In the copy, the website is hyperlinked too, creating another opportunity for the customer to head straight to the website when they click on the written copy. Overall, I was much happier with my creation than the original and feel it suits the brand and target audience.
Improvement: Mura boutique.Sign up offer
creation: blackboard coffee. snail mail
Curious? PULL ME
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creation: blackboard coffee. snail mail
Curious? FREE COFFEE UPGRADE
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creation: blackboard coffee snail mail
Coffee is always a good idea...
@ blackboardcoffee
Drop by for a coffee and receive a FREE UPGRADE.
...we'll even take 10% off our cronuts for you!
FREE UPGRADE This weekend only!
Offer available from 22/8/14 to 24/8/14. Limit one coupon per customer. May be used at any Blackboard Coffee store.
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creation: blackboard coffee snail mail Blackboard Coffee has always been a favourite of mine; their design, creativity, quirkiness and simplicity hits the nail on the head for me. I knew I wanted to create something for the brand, but something that really suited and incorporated all elements of direct response. After drafting multiple versions, types of mediums it could best suit, layout and offer that would entice customers; I finally decided an interactive flyer would be best. It is probably one of my most favourite forms of direct response, as it is engaging and leaves a 'surprise' element in receiving snail mail. I sat down and had a coffee at Blackboard and finally it came to me after staring at my paper cup in front of me trying to think out the box after originally wanting to do a "message in a bottle theme" with their iced coffee in bottles shaped like beer bottles. I opted for my snail mail flyer to be shaped in the form of their branded coffee paper cups. This will be done through a 'die cut' machine for the shape of the actual paper cup and consistent with black and white colour and typography. The type of paper used will be 280 GSM matt card in white, which will showcase the paper cup of Blackboard Coffee. Sticking to the brand and their quirky advertising, I opted for a simple word, "Curious?" to entice the customer to the interactive pull down label that states "pull me". The branded logo will be a soft material in black, as well as the pull down label. This will enhance the flyer and add elements to it instead of just plane paper. Before deciding on the one word to entice the customer, I wrote down three versions and asked 10 different people around Bond University as well as Blackboard employees. 1: Curious... 2. Curious? 3. Curious... take a peek! The result equalled 7/10 opting for "Curious?" and two opting for option one and the other for option three. After surveying a few people who are familiar with the brand and style of advertising, it proved what worked for them and enticed them to want to open the label "pull me". Once the customer pulls down the label, the offer states "free coffee upgrade". I felt this offer suited the advertisement due to enticing customers to pay for a regular but receive a large. Blackboard Coffee is known for their coffee and as of recent their cronuts and sweet treats, which are heavily advertised on their Instagram account. The back of the snail mail flyer will be short and sweet with the copy advertising 10% off their cronuts this weekend only, including the offer for a free coffee upgrade. Terms and conditions are clearly stated, as well as their Instagram account, which is on their actual paper cups, making the flyer as real life as possible. "Drop by for a coffee and receive a free upgrade" entices the customer in short copy and adds an incentive with 10% off their cronuts, as it is a popular buy. Through this, customers will most likely Instagram their photos which will generate word of mouth advertising and traffic through the store. The flyer will be dropped throughout Robina, Varsity Lakes and surrounding areas and create a sense of engagement through an interactive flyer. I personally would love to receive this or something very similar.
critique: Running bare.edm
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critique: Running bare.edm Running Bare, a popular sportswear brand in Australia is 'designed by women for women' as stated in their mission statement. The brand pride themselves on manufacturing and producing over 70% of items in Australia. The sportswear brand has been successful for over 30 years and continue to adapt to the latest fashion, technology and financial trends in order to remain successful. As Running Bare is not a particular brand I purchase from, I have bought the odd item or two during sale seasons. My inbox is often filled with boutique sales and promotional advertisements, but of late I have found an influx of email offers from sportswear retail stores as well as online stores around Australia and overseas. I received this email a few weeks ago and after observing and analysing the offer, I loved and loathed a few different things. I noticed I was not the only one who loathed certain parts of the email offer, as a few others received this email and posted it to the Facebook Direct Response page. On a positive note, there are certain aspects that do work well for the brand, the layout , theme, colour and important elements to an EDM, such as social media buttons, hyperlinks and use of white space. As the brand is purely for women, the choice of words, "Aspire Desire Inspire" screams out motivation, inspiration and a touch of emotion, such as pathos; a term coined by Aristotle. As women are more emotional than men according to research and psychology, I find the copy on the email offer quite good in terms of delivering to their particular target audience. The choice of colour used in the email offer is a soft peachy coral tone with great use of white space. The typography used in their copy is kept simple, short and sweet which then lends the focus of the email offer towards the imagery. The use of imagery is chosen wisely as it is consistent with the peachy coral tones and is placed around the model. There are social media buttons placed on the offer which will take the customer directly to their other social media platforms to generate further communication as well as click throughs, likes and shares. The brand has a huge social media following with 16k followers on Instagram and over 66K followers on Facebook. The use of their social media buttons on this offer as well as all others is certainly working for the brand as their social media following is evidence. However, when I first received this email I thought I was reading a "Lorna Jane" email offer. The brand has certain traits similar to its competitor and seems to be conducting email layouts quite similarly. As positives were mentioned above, it is a shame that in all those elements there are certain downfalls that turn a great email into a poorly designed offer which could quite possibly be deleted without reading it fully. "Leave them s-peach-less" tagline does not fit as it is a play on words, but not the good kind. I find it a little tacky and non-creative. I personally believe the creatives behind the email could have come up with something a little more subtle and innovative. A major element of the email offer is the call-toaction button, which is in fact quite hidden. There is no timely nature of the offer or measurability which is a major negative in direct response, especially if the brand is wanting to generate profit and customer loyalty, traffic and gain new customers as well as followers. The email could have been successful if the brand opted for a discount offer, flash sale, VIP members only sale or free gift with purchase over a certain amount in order to have a measurable offer and timely offer for 24 hour sale or the like. The email offer does not stand out for the customer to want to purchase straight away as well as no prices or sale items. As I am incredibly OCD, the first thing I notice is the models hand hidden by the legging pants on the right of the email. I feel the creative directors behind this email should have taken the time to place every image perfectly and not cluttered the email, which I feel resembles in this offer. Overall, the email had positives and negatives and had a great idea behind the offer, but are definitely missing important direct response elements.
IMPROVEMENT: MYER.COUPON/VOUCHER
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IMPROVEMENT: MYER.loose leaf insert
Receive your six-piece Napoleon Perdis Gift valued over $200, including a complimentary Instant Glamification makover when you spend $70 or more on Napoleon Perdis.
Terms and conditions apply. One gift per customer. Minimum $70 spend, must be in one transaction. Not available with any other offer.Print out or show on phone in store to claim. Exclusively at Myer from 24th August to 21st August 2014.
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IMPROVEMENT: MYER.COUPON/VOUCHER Myer is one of Australia's biggest retail stores and without a doubt spend millions on advertising through multiple mediums. Whether it be receiving hard copy catalogues in the mail, online newsletters, sales and promotion vouchers and flyers or simply a loose leaf insert in Women's Weekly. As a store I personally love and quite often purchase items from, I was disappointed with their form of advertising a loose leaf insert for a voucher offering $20 off. Besides the awful green colour choice and pattern, boring layout, dreadful wording of the offer and no use of imagery, there was no real 'call-to-action'. If I had received this in the mail or perhaps online, I would have overlooked it as it is not engaging whatsoever. When comparing other forms of Myer advertisements, I noticed how the brand opted for colourful, creative and engaging copy, promotion and sale offers and creative use of white space within their layout. "To enjoy $20 off your next purchase, print this voucher or scan in-store between and along with your MYER one card". The copy of this offer does not flow and is written poorly for a high end retail chain. The offer and advertisement appears to have been completed in a very short space of time and appears to the customer as 'lazy'. There were no terms and conditions on this offer, the barcode is merely put on the offer towards the right and looks unfinished as a whole. As Myer often have sales and promotions I decided to improve their original offer by creating a "gift with purchase" offer. This offer is to be placed as a loose-leaf insert in Women's Weekly magazines and other high end magazines like Harpers Bazaar or Vogue. I opted with the colour black, white and a shade of dusty pink. As my offer is for Napoleon Perdis products, the colouring in the gift is a shade of pink, so to be consistent in layout and copy I incorporated the right colouring for flow. For my offer and call-to-action I thought it would be a great idea to offer the customer a Napoleon Perdis gift set with a purchase of $70 or more, as most products individually cost $50. Napoleon Perdis foundation alone costs $50, so the customer would only need to purchase two products in order to receive the gift. To add to this offer and make it more enticing I included a complimentary "Instant Glamification Makeover". To increase regular customers and invite new customers to purchase products from the brand on a regular basis, the right treatment and wording is absolutely necessary. I tried to keep the offer short and sweet, focusing more on the exciting offer and imagery and included a barcode. This is purely for database reasons, to see how many customers actually use this offer for future sales and promotions and gain new information. The offer is for the weekend of August 24th to August 26th. This advertisement will be given well in advance, perhaps a week or two before so customers are well aware of the offer. As Myer is a high end retail store as mentioned above, the type of paper used for this advertisement is extremely important. A 300 GSM satin coated card in white would work best after researching types of paper suited for the brand and advertisement.
IMPROVEMENT: MYER.COUPON/VOUCHER
CREATION: FULFILLMENT OFFER. Lovisa
CREATION: FuLFILLMENT OFFER. Lovisa Inspired from London's high fashion couture runways and street styles, Lovisa soon became a global name around the world.Lovisa is located throughout six countries around the world today and currently has over 200 stores globally. The brand caters to women of all ages and pride themselves on affordable jewellery and hair pieces. After browsing through Lovisa and finally buying a few things on sale, I noticed the store only advertised sales and promotions on their website or in-store. As most stores are quite similar in their form of advertising, I thought a fulfilment offer could be of good use for the store to drive regular and new customer traffic. I decided not to rush into this idea and do a little research of the brand to make sure my type of offer, idea and chosen medium would and could work. Lovisa's website 'about' sections stated, "The Lovisa customer has refined taste and she understands the importance of the perfect accessory. She wants designer style at ready to wear prices. She’s social, confident and stylish. Her style has no limits. This is why she chooses Lovisa." In order to create my fulfillment offer, otherwise known as a 'buckslip', I knew I needed to understand the brands goals, a feel for their type of target customer, terminology used on their website, colour, typography and latest sales and promotions. I decided to create my fulfillment offer to be placed in bags after a customer has purchased items in-store. However, this offer could also be used in an EDM as well as a website banner flash sale of the week prior to the sale to gain attraction and awareness. The fulfillment offer will also be handed to customers a week, or perhaps two ahead of time of the sale in order to create a buzz. As the brand states in their about section 'Lovisa was created out of a need for current fashion jewellery at an accessible price point' it is clear they have set competitive prices in the market. I decided to create the offer for items purchased over $30 in order to receive the discount. This is because most items sold in-store and online are under $20, the customer would most likely be buying on average two or more items. From a business point of view, this would keep the store's KPI's up and have constant flow of multiple items being sold, creating space for new season stock. The discount amount I chose for the offer is 10%. After creating multiple fulfillment offers throughout the semester for Nike and always wanting to give the customer a large discount, I realised I needed to lower my discount, as high discount prices for jewellery stores in particular are often given during boxing day sales or end of financial year sales. As my chosen dates for sale are in August, I felt 10% was fair as items needed to be purchased to the sum of $30 only. I opted with the colour blue and stuck to a 'Winter' theme as the colours of current stock and new campaigns on their website are blues, greens and golds. I opted for less copy on my offer, having the focus on the beautiful image instead of cluttering the offer with too much copy and rather advertise the jewellery. I supplied clear terms and conditions on the bottom for sale dates, discount amounts and the code for discount for online purchases. The brand is feminine so my chosen typography was 'Great Vibes' a cursive style to be consistent with the brand and have my offer flow with colour, layout and typography.
THANK YOU