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ISSUE # 2
Hi!!
2020 - 2023
hey!! oi hello What??
MAXIMIZED ALWAYS AVAILABLE REALLY TASTY SNACK SHOP
WELCOME T FIRST ISSU MARTS Our Maximized Always Available Really Tasty Snackshop, better known as MARTS is launching our first mini zine along with our online store! In this magazine, we aim to curate a list of our favourite snacks that you can obtain from our allegedly state-ofthe-art website! Do people really use state of the art to describe their website?
Hi Hi
ANYWAY!!!! MARTS wants to provide our awesome readers with bi-monthly magazines about our selection, sales, and all things snacks! And maybe sneak in some unsolicited product placements along the way :)
TO THE UE OF ALL ABOUT MARTS
ASSEMBLING Y O U R S N AC K EXCLUSIVE!! COUPON DEALS S N AC K S B AS E D O N YOUR BIRTH MONTH EXPIRING SOON ITS JUST SALES JUST IN! N E W S N AC K S ! ! FROM THE EXPERTS A L L ‘ B O U T C H O C O L AT E NO ONE CARES CUSTOMER REVIEWS
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Hi Hi
WHAT?? Have you heard of
;) If you can’t already guess, we are Maximized Always Available Really Tasty Snackshop, better known as MARTS! We pla an to become the world’s best online snack shop and release co ool stuff every other week.
To
be honest, I don’t actually know what sort of information to put here yet but I’m trying to fill up text here to make it look like I have content for our new store. Uhmmm no we don’t have a physical store, no we don’t have an app - maybe we will in the future ? Who knows because this writer doesn’t! Also, we were initially planning to launch in 2020 but a lovely virus
hit us hard with a truck and we had to pause all operations. So there goes all our money. Then halfway through, while we initially planned to have a physical store we decided to refund our entire deposit of the venue and shifted online!
O
ur values are speed, convenience and accessibility. We want to make sure that you, our best customer, is super duper satisfied when the order gets out of your cart and reaches into your hands! Although once pro oducts leave the warehouse, whatever happens to it is NoT our Responsibility anymore!
OH WOW. HOW ARE YOUR PRICE$ SOoOoOO OOoOoOo oOOOOoO LoOoOW?
Because we are cOoOooOOooool. By making you, our customer assemble their own products, companies actually cut on costs way more than you think!
LEARN FROM THE EX WHAT’S UP WITH
CHOCOLA As endorsed by Dr. Jastras Mebruh
This is EVERYTHING you do on’t know about ch hocolate. Did you know that chocolate actually helps to increase your heart health? The next time you consume a piece of chocolate it might actually bring you less guilt. According to internet experts, chocolate allegedly contains high levels of antioxidants that could help to lower cholesterol levels and help to pretend memory decline in the long run. “Chocolates are made out of cocoa beans, so they are also packed with fiber and “loads of phytonutrients,” according to Dr Mozaffarian. For possible health benefits, he recommended choosing dark chocolate that is at least 70 percent cocoa. Short-termed human trials also concluded that chocolate infused drinks can moderately lower blood pressure and help to mprove blood cholesterol amongst adults! As you can already tell from our core values here at MARTS, we only want the best for you and your children! We want you to stay fit and save
XPERTS
ATE? big bucks, so we have specially dedicated a chocolate section on our online store for you! If there are any other chocolate snacks that you want us to bring in, drop us a message via our social platforms or email us at justgrapes@onlymarts.sg.
Not sure what you’re craving or don’t know what you want to eat? Let your birth certificate decide for you! Here is our curated list of snacks and their accesories based solely on your birth month!
JANUARY & FEBRUARY Wow! What better way to start the year with delicious pineapples? Start your year right with some delicious pineapple chunks! Sold exclusively individually on our online store.
MARCH & APRIL March and April babies have a sad,sad life because of work that starts to pile up during these months. In that case, why not take a break from commitments with Matcha Green Kit Kat?
MAY, JUNE & JULY Singapore heat definitely suuuuuucksssss during this period of the year. So why not keep yourself cozy with something sweet like a box Ferrero Rocher?
Um... I don’t know why this grape is here, we don’t actually sell grapes on our store... or do we? I’m not that sure actually, sorry. But I definitely know we have Raisins though if that’s what interests you!
NOVEMBER & DECEMBER End of year babies have it tough because their birthdays are overlooked by the holiday season. Comfort yourself with our Seasonal Gummy Bears!
NN O0.50
O Y Y L L OONNAARRTTSS M M
SKITTLES
*Packaging not included
STRAWBERRY CHOCOLATE
$
$
*packaging not included
$
CHIIKAWA CHOCO PACKAGING
$
1
$
1
*Skittles not included
*No Chocolate Here
SUPER C0.50 HEAP!
LANGUE DE CHAT$ *packaging non-existent
0.50
1
SKITTLES PACKAGING
SHIROI KOIBITO PACKAGING
*Langue de Chat not included
OUR JUST IN!! FEATURING LATEST SNACKS!
GOING ALL NUTS FOR ALLERGIES!!!!!!! Uhhuh, okay! We hear you! So like. if the lactose intolerant can drink milk, we strongly believe you can eat nuts* too. “Deez nuts” are exclusively curated just for you!
PEANUT
CASHEW
! ! W NE
WALNUT
ALMOND
HAZELNUT
PISTACHIO
*unsalted
*Salt not added
CASHEW PACKAGING
*Nuts come separately
*Unsalted
*Salt-free
*Zero-salt option
*0% Salt
! ! ! T HO
PEANUT PACKAGING *Nut-free product
* Not medical advice! Don’t try at your own risk.
WHAT ????
EXCLUSIVE CO These are some craaazy discounts! We don’t have a physical store, so take a picture of your ripped out coupon when you
Skittles Preassembled
$2.60
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you agree and approve of MARTS of stealing your credit card information.
Twisties Chicken Preassembled
$1.70
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you give us permission to order G**bfood with your credit card information.
Pocky Preassembled
$1.60
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you approve of us using your information to sign up for game accounts.
Honey Butter Chips Preassembled
$2.70
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you agree to pay for our plane tickets to Korea to procure this for you.
Grape
$9.99
uh....??? What is this?
Preserved Papaya Slice Bundle
$4.70
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you agree for us to check your internet browsing history.
OUPON DEALS! check-out of our online store to enjoy the discount off your next purchase! Terms and conditions apply.
Langue de Chat *Box Excluded
$12
Cadbury Milk Plain Preassembled
$3.20
Valid until 10 November 2023. By submitting this coupon you allow us to release cows to your delivery address for consuming milk products.
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you allow us to send you unsolicted SMS advertisements every Thursday.
$1.80
$5.20
Milk Chocolate
Valid until 10 November 2023. By submitting this coupon you allow us to sign up for a cocoa farming volunteer programme with your information.
Kit Kat Preassembled
$2
Valid until 10 November 2023. By submitting this coupon you allow us to release cows to your delivery address for consuming milk products.
Raisins Preassembled
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. We have nothing to say against raisin eaters actually. Shame on you for eating raisins.
Cashew Nuts Preassembled
$2.40
Valid until 10 November 2023 or while stocks last. By submitting this coupon you allow us to plant potted plants infront of your home to grow beans.
SA SA LE LE
Dried Fish Fillet
$
*Expires January 2022
CASHEWS
$
COLLON
$
*Expires “Next Week”
*Best before September 2023
EXPIRI
The closer the date th
0.52
STRAWBERRY CHOCOLATE
$
0.50
0.50
RICE CRACKER
$
0.10
0.80
YANYAN DIPS
$
*Best before October 2023
*Expires “Tomorrow”, yesterday
*Expires when it expires
1.50
ING SOON!
*Prices labelled are for the food only - Food and Packaging will always be sold separately!
he earlier the items must vacate!
GUMMY BEAR
$
OREO
$
*Best before January 2020
*Expires September 2021
0.02
HELLO PANDA
$
0.04
0.50
POCKY
$
0.03
*Expires December 2023
*Expires “In 3 days”
FLAMING HOT DEALS! JUST EXPIRED!
BREAD
$
0.03
PACKAGING
$
0.02
RAISIN
$
0.01
UH OH! MANUAL LABOUR!
ASSEMBLING YOUR OWN SNACK!!
We get it, the act of assembly is very daunting. BUUT DO NOT worry! This tiny instruction manual will teach you how to asssemble your own snack to save costs!
YOU WILL NEED:
TZGING U N KA
SALT
1X
1X
1X
1X
1X
1X
1X
1X
C PA
MISSING TOOLS, OR PARTS? SCAN THE QR CODE TO DOWNLOAD THE PDF AND PURCHASE ANY MISSING PARTS!
PLACE HOLDER
2
3
4
5
6
8
9
LT SA
1
7
20 CENTS ONLY!
Prices just like the good ol’ days.* Exclusively on onlymarts.sg
*
Tummies craving for the yummies but don’t know what to do? Well heads up because this is flowchart specially designed for you!
“SHOULD I EAT THAT SNACK?”
YES
ARE YOU HUNGRY?
WHAT TIME IS IT?
12AM - 12PM
HOME NO
12PM - 12AM
DO YOU HAVE A FRIDGE? YES
WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW?
OUTSIDE YES YES
HAVE YOU HAD LUNCH OR DINNER? CAN YOU GO HOME?
IS THE FOOD IN YOUR FRIDGE MOVING? NO
YES
NO
NO
NO
DO YOU HAVE CASH RIGHT NOW?
YES
YES. SHOP FOR MORE SNACKS AT ONLYMARTS.SG
Add snacks to your cart on onlymarts.sg and save it for later!
YES. SHOP FOR YOUR SNACK ON ONLYMARTS.SG
CUSTOMER REVIEWS
COMMUNITY F MARTS could not have done it without you and your support! To give back to our community, we have decided to showcase some of our favourite reviews that we have received over the past year.
“I managed to snatch some good deals from the previous fire sales. tastes kinda funny but thats skittles for you i guess”
“‘WOW. No one does it like MARTS does. Truly exceptional and unique service provided.’ like that can or not ah?”
5.0
5.0
RAINBOTASTER
ET***AN11
GREEN SKITTLE 20pcs
MOLDED BREAD 5pcs
“Snacks were insightful and I gained alot of new knowledge from reading this magazine! Thanks” 5.0
TH3R**AN
POCKY STICK PACKAGING 1pc
FAVOURITES “I LOVE RAISINSSSSS” 5.0
THEDUCK27 PREASSEMBLED RAISINS 1pc
“fast delivery nice thanks” 5.0
PRUNEINJUNE ??? 2pc
“Why did my order not come with the snack? I expected the snack to be IN THE PACKAGING FULLY OPENED 0/10 am utterly disappointed with this service i hate MARTS”
“Received item fast, well packed, thank you seller will give it a try.” 5.0
GURU4200 Marmite Chip 1pc
5.0
A******E88
CHOCOLATE BAR PACKAGING 1pc
Want to get featured in the next MARTS community spotlight? Stand a chance easily by leaving us a 5-star review the products you’ve purchased on our website!
A chocolate piece a day is lowkey kinda slay!
Now available in pieces exclusively on onlymarts.sg Packaging not included
UPCOMING EVENTS 01/11 ~ 02/11 Looking to save further costs? We are hosting a salt mining workshop to help YOU save money by not having to purchase seasoning for nuts!
??/?? ~ ??/?? Can someone PLEASE explain why this grape is STILL HERE?
2024 ~ 2026 Sustainability is SUUUUPER IMPORTANT to us, so MARTS will NOT be providing nor selling any packaging during this time period!
HELLOMARTS