An instructional booklet by the one and only Kendall Andruski
Have YOU ever wondered what it takes to be cool? Have you ever spent your days wishing you were a young Johnny Depp? Look no fur ther. This is the book for you.
Sunglasses are the staple of a cool person. They provide better vision in sunny scenarios, while also making you look oh-so-fly. What’s cooler than superior vision?
It doesn’t even need to be sunny. A good pair of sunglasses make you ap pear cooler in any outdoor setting.
Not sure what style to get? Google some celebrities (preerealy cool ones) and take note of the dfferent frame styles being worn. (Think young Johnny Depp)
***pro tip: wearing sunglases in doors is NOT cool. Makes one look like a dweeb. Avoid at all costs.
Wardrobe for the cool person is very important. Usually involves some type of leather. (Again, think young Johnny Depp).
Don’t be afraid to size up with clothes. Having room to move around allows for cool activities, while also being much more com fortable. Don’t let beauty magazines fool you. Comfort = cool.
Another important part of wearing a cool fit is using the correct terminology. If you aren’t calling your outfit a “fit”, you might as well stay home.
Where to shop: being cool does not need to be ex pensive. Thrifting your cool clothes is the ultimate sign of a truly cool person. Imagine wearing a cool leather jacket, or some perfect ly worn jeans, and you get to tell people you got it for $5. So cool. Saving money AND the planet. Nothing cooler than sensible shopping.
Bonus points if you go thrifting with friends!!
The key to cool hair is flow. Let it be messy. Let it fall where it wants to (I am once again drawing you back to young Johnny Depp). Cool hair doesn’t listen to anyone.
Color is not as imprtant in this category. Whatever color of hair makes you feel the coolest, that’s what you should go with. From bright pink to more natural shades, it can all be cool with the right presentation
*I would like to give a formal apology to bald men. You will simply never have the full cool factor. My condolences. However, a cool beard can be substituted for similar effect.*
(“swagger” if you will)
The secret to a cool walk is confidence. Keep your head up. Walk into every room like you know you’re the coolest person there (but don’t be a jerk, have some spatial awareness).
An easy way to develop your coolest walk is to wear headphones. Blast your favorite upbeat song. This will not only put you in a good mood, but will also give you a good beat to match your steps to. With the right results, you will feel like the main character in a music video. So cool.
Patrick Bateman in American Psycho. Yes, he may be a serial killer. We can overlook that. He has the perfect cool walk. No one is doubt ing him. It’s also Christian Bale. Very cool guy.
Cool music is a hard to put parameters on. There is so much music out there that can be considered cool in the right setting. So take this section with a grain of salt. Any music that makes you feel cool and confident is cool msic.
Extra points for listen ing to any music on vinyl. That is the original cool music method.
A lists of cool artists to listen to (based on nothing other than my own music taste):
- Fleetwood Mac - Billy Joel - The Beatles - Bob Marley - Steve Lacy - Childish Gambino - Frank Ocean - ABBA - Prince - Phoebe Bridgers - Arctic Monkeys - Daniel Caesar - Bruno Major - Bruno mas - Anderson Paak - The Styx - Rihanna - Sza - The Neighborhood - Chance the Rapper - The Backseat Lovers - The Walters - Tyler, the Creator
* Not to worry, if you listen to country music, there is still hope for you... maybe *
Cool slang is an essential part of being cool. Having a cool look will make no sense if you walk around talking to evreyone in old english. Throw a “dude” out there. Maybe a “lit”. And the cool est phrase of all: “dawg”.
Talk like you’re trying desperately to fit in with your teenager’s friends. Doesn’t matter if you’re in college and have no children. Use your imagination.
Dude that’s so sick!! Dude that’s so sick!!
Valid cool slang to use in everyday conversation: - lit - rad - bro - valid - dude - flames - sick - steezy - dope - dawg - fire - fasho - gas - cap - goated - slay (debatable) - dummy - goofy - bruh - word
goated bro
* Warning *
Use this slang in modera tion. Overload can seem much too ingenuine and very lame. Don’t use more than two giv en phrases in the same sen tence. Reduce to only a few per conversation if you are over 35 years of age.
Do somthing you love. That’s so cool. Skate boarding. Surfing. Making music. Create some thing. Paint. Crochet. Collect little trin kets. Share what you love with people who also enjoy those things.
If you’re having trouble finding a hobby that fits you, try things! You never know what cool hobby could be waiting around the corner to become your whole personality.
A small list of ideas to jumpstart your quest for a cool hobby: - Surfing - snowbaording - skateboarding (really any kid of board ing) - skiing - crochet/ knitting - drawing - writing poems - collecting vinyl records - collecting sunglasses - basket weaving - photography - jewelry making - vibing
If you find a hobby that you are passion ate about, you may even be lucky enough to do it professionally. And then you get to brag about being cool AND happy
While this book has undoubtedly given endless good advice on how to become the coolest per son alive, it all goes out the window without confindence. No one is going to be convicned that you’re cool if you don’t convince yourself first.
Fake it ‘till you make it. Confidence is not going to come overnight if you buy a leath er jacket and start listening to the beatles. It’s going to come through you pretending to be confident until you no longer are sure if you’re pretending anymore.
Everyone can be cool. At the end of the day, if you feel cool, you ARE cool. The key is to find people who also think you are cool. You’ll nev er have to spend a day feeling uncool ever again. That’s pretty cool.
but the best way to be cool........
is to just be yourself
