Role Models 101

Some common traits of the people we should be emulating

By Ed Ohlweiler Reader Contributor

What if the meaning of life, the universe and everything is simply just to inspire each other to become better versions of ourselves? That would explain my fairly recent obsession with heroes, role models and human potential. In my lifetime there’s always been the “Big Three”: Jimmy Carter, the Dalai Lama and Nelson Mandela. One is dead, one is dying and the third will be replaced by a baby in diapers leaving the Buddhist world without leadership (China having kidnapped and/or executed the Panchen Lama).

But there are also everyday heroes — people on the streets who inspire me, some of whom even write for this publication. There are people no one’s heard of, like my childhood neighbor Melvin Wright, who taught me about tree farming and tractors, life and love. He married his high-school sweetheart Charlotte, and he was the apple of her eye. He had an easy smile, so prevalent and genuine that when he passed away while sitting in a chair at the age of 79, witnesses verified that he was smiling while he was dead.

I still wish more people knew about Kofi Annan than, say, Kanye West, or that people knew who Zach Bush was, period. But randomness and fairness aside, we get to choose and we live in an era overflowing with amazing people to learn from.

So, what makes a good role model? I am focusing on male role models merely because so much has been voiced on the topic. I think we know that there’s a difference between being great at something and being a great person, and that when we talk about role models we’re talking about great people

(though both may apply). The thing that makes Tom Brady such a great quarterback may or may not make him such a great person (in fact he was caught cheating at one point).

I think it’s important to distinguish between stars who are masters of a skill and worthy of emulating when trying to learn that skill, and those who have a combination of wisdom, compassion, honesty, humility and sincerity worthy of emulating in life. I would call them our tribal elders, but I have seen those qualities in people so much younger than myself, which I find, pardon the expression, badass.

We do know that there is no correlation between wealth, fame or status and these qualities — in fact, studies show CEOs are three times more likely to be psychopaths than other people (no explanation was given, however I suspect certain traits, like a lack of empathy or talent for justification, could be rewarded in the business world).

Two of my favorite writers have fallen with the “Me Too” movement (Sherman Alexie and Garrison Keillor), and knowing what I know about James Brown makes it harder to enjoy his music. A lot of this is incumbent on your ability to compartmen- talize when someone with an art or a skill you admire seems to be a negative role model. This is interesting, though slightly off topic.

What else do our role model heroes seem to share? Turning to my “Big Three” for simplicity’s sake, you could say that a belief in Jesus made Jimmy Carter greater and a belief in Buddha made the Dalai Lama greater and you’d be right, but only partially right. Many people have beliefs. These men have nurtured theirs, creating an environment for them to grow, learning more about themselves and life here on Earth in the process and projecting that learning to benefit all mankind.

There is an intentional structuring of their lives to this end — an effort on their part. They are selfless.

They often entertain the idea that they may be wrong, treating their life like a grand experiment with the goal of always improving. They all practiced non-violence — even Mandela (despite the ANC not always being opposed to violence, and there were obvious motives for revenge). They follow “the Golden Rule” and they acknowledge a shared humanity.

Let’s not forget that we’re all in this together and that our heroes even had heroes of their own that they learned from, and so on down the line. It is easy for wealthy people to complain about taxes while driving to work and moving their goods on highways that were built and paid for by other people’s taxes. To quote a recent Rachel Baiman song, “How many men does it take to make the self-made man?”

All three are pretty humble, usually viewing themselves as vehicles or mere accomplices for change. (You may have noticed that truly great people don’t tell you how great they are.)

Correct me if I’m wrong, but I feel like these are fairly universal traits for role models regardless of one’s background and ideology. Bonus points for being a great communicator and charismatic, but not necessary for leading by example.

Of all the crazy circles I’ve infiltrated in this lifetime, it seems like the trail-running community espouses the most of these characteristics. A biased study I know, but if you ever lose your faith in humanity, volunteer at an aid station for a trail race — everyone is so nice. They could be in intense pain and they still smile and find something nice to say about you.

I am going to employ some suspect logic, go out on a cognitive limb, and guess why: Remember when we ascertained that role models carved out space in their lives for improving or learning more about themselves? Imagine being alone with your thoughts for hours on end trying to figure out what’s important and what’s not, with a super-oxygenated brain, all surrounded by the majesty of nature.

Let’s recap what we’ve learned:

1.CEOs are psychopaths. (Just kidding.)

2.Good role models have a combination of personality traits that can be universally recognized as being worthy of emulation.

3.They come by these traits through effort, continually trying to improve themselves, creating a space in their lives for that, making it a priority. They probably don’t watch too much TV.

4.Trail runners are the best people! (Just kidding. Sort of.)