THERAPY COUCH

Many people decide to make resolutions at New Year. They carefully select what they are going to give up, berate themselves for their old, bad habits and put themselves under increasing pressure to stop doing things that they have often enjoyed. Many of those resolutions last a week or two before stress, desire for comfort and simple forgetfulness propel them back into their old ways. Let's look at another approach that may have a better chance of success. Positive resolutions are supportive, encouraging and gentle. They encourage us to improve with kindness, especially kindness to ourselves. Let's look at some of the best positive resolutions, taken from my postbag: Mary asks “I really want to stop smoking, but every time I try something crops up and I find myself reaching for that comfortable reassurance of my trusty cigarettes. Have you any ideas to make this new year's resolution succeed? Many smokers say that they need to give up their habit and stop smoking. They often find that they can manage it for a week or two, but then find that their willpower disappears as they resort to smoking again. Smoking today is less tolerated by the public and is illegal in many places. The price of maintaining a smoking habit is continuously escalating and the dangers to health are readily available to be seen. Many smokers feel conflicted. They know they should stop but can't seem to. Here are some thoughts for either cutting down or stopping completely. Identify the times when you smoke and become aware of the triggers that prompt the desire for a cigarette. Is it when the phone rings, after a piece of work has been finished, after food? Recognise the triggers and recall how you handled

those times when you were a non-smoker.

Determine to find more constructive ways to deal with stress, give yourself breaks and take time-out.

As you reach for your packet, pause and ask yourself, 'do I really want this cigarette, do I really need this cigarette?' If the answer is 'no' congratulate yourself and put the packet away. This way you'll start to recognise and let go of the less important cigarettes smoked purely out of habit.

Change your brand. If you typically smoke regular cigarettes change to a menthol or milder brand. Buy them in packets of ten and ration yourself to a specific number each day. Some people decide to stop completely but keep an 'emergency' packet wrapped tightly in several yards of cling film, a good deterrent from smoking them!

If you were about to go outside for a cigarette at the same time as a really important telephone call came through, would you take the call or ignore it?

You'd probably forget completely about the cigarette. Finding ways to distract yourself, things that take your mind off smoking is a valuable way to break the habit pattern. Designate certain areas as no smoking zones. Perhaps turn the bedroom, kitchen, car into places where smoking is not allowed. Spring-clean those areas and remove any smoking paraphernalia. Clean your clothes and enjoy how fresh they smell.

Why not save the money you would have spent on cigarettes each day? You could collect it in a big glass jar so that you can see it visibly accumulating. Then spend the money on something special like a beautiful picture, clear evidence of something that would in the past have gone up in smoke.

Remind yourself that becoming a non-smoker is part of your commitment to overall better health. Exercise, drinking more water, taking vitamin C and hypnotherapy can also reinforce your determination by focusing your mind on a healthier lifestyle and attaining a more positive approach to your future wellbeing.

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