Doomsday Department #2

plus an exclusive interv

iew with

#2 The current issue of Doomsday Dept touches very serious issues we recommend you to sober up before reading

Dake and Skippy would like to thank Dick and Nanny from Bitchslap magazine.

EDITORS’ NOTES It’s the fact that we feel very uncomfortable about this world today that made us launch this magazine.

A writer and an artist, a sculptor and a boxer, a comedian and a musician, a drunkard and a guy with a funny walk. Pretentious tags you know...

All in all we’re just two misanthropes on a Monday morning crowded bus that goes 20 mph.

I suck at writing. I do. Sorry. I suck at many things.

Anyhow here’s another simile for you: Imagine a giant brass funnel. Ok? Good. It’s plugged into a giant black asshole facing (facing?) the sky. Alright? And finally picture a retarded schoolgirl riding a tricycle on the edge of the funnel. Lap after lap. Lap after lap.

Chances are there won’t be a happy end neither for the girl nor for her loving parents.

Now! To make it clear... THE GIRL IS THE WORLD! Ta da! See? I suck at writing yet managed to use two tropes in this short letter.

Luckily for you this issue doesn’t have any more texts of mine.

So you will enjoy it.

Read on.

Skippy Dominguez

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Last Saturday night I found myself in a biker bar where I got wasted. There isn’t much to say about it, except that people really drink there, even though most of them are only weekend kind of bikers. So, I got out of the bar, hooked a taxi, bought a six-pack of beer and headed back to the room I rent. There I gulped down four cans and did STP, which is a psychedelic drug with a funny story. Want to know the story? The original name of the drug is DOM and it was synthesized back in 1964 by Alexander Shulgin, the guy who designed lots of weird psychedelics. Even though similar to LSD, the effects are not quite the same, as DOM lasts longer, up to thirty-six hours. When giving a lecture in some college in the sixties, before psychedelics got banned, Shulgin drew chemical formula of the drug on a board to explain something. Among people who attended the lecture there was someone named Augustus Owsley III, a talented mind with little wish to make a career or study in college. Owsley copied the formula and started producing the drug in a home lab and selling it under the name of STP on the streets of San Francisco. He soon became a millionaire, hooked up for a short time with Ken Kesey’s Merry Pranksters and then disappeared.

Owsley could still be alive today. Anyway, this was the sort of drug I took (presumably, because you are never sure what they sell out on the streets), and after it kicked in, I spent a couple of hours sitting in the dark, staring in a mirror. One would normally not be able to go to sleep under the drug, but since I was drunk and exhausted, I threw myself on a bed for a nap. In the morning I woke up, and licked the rest of STP that got spilled the previous night off of the writing table. And, well, things got worse — that Sunday was a bad trip. And I knew it had to be so, but this is a general attitude of an alcoholic today, and this is what I am trying to say. For the last four months I’ve been drinking every day, no less than twice a day (morning and evening usually), and an alcoholic would as a rule snort up his nose or shove down his throat anything that’d make him sick. And then revert back to alcohol, which would also make him sick.

Because alcohol is poison, it really is, and contrary to the common belief, alcohol does not let an alcoholic feel better, or relaxed, does not give any pleasure or anything. All it gives is nightmares, lots of sweating, insomnia and other generally sick things. But we — the dipsomaniac army — still drink.

And this is the key point of why so many alcoholism treatment practices have failed and are still failing.

Medical men and physicians have tried substituting

alcohol with lots of other substances from ibogaine and GHB to tranquilizers and sedatives. None of these worked, because they all make one feel weird, or pleasurable, or numb, but what an alcoholic needs is to be sick. Sickness gives boost to the mind and body, puts it in constant fight and balances an alcoholic with the real world and people in it. Because alcoholism is definitely not a disease. Some people are just born with it, “twisted” or “distorted” as sober people put it. I am not trying to be personal here, forget it. The thing is, an alcoholic even before having that first drink in his life feels contempt for and uncomfortable with the world. This is not something obnoxious, not a high horse. Nor is it a mental disease or disease of any kind. This is not a different perspective of the world. It is just what it is, indescribable maybe.

An alcoholic lives in this world, and everyday has to deal with hordes of people, who make careers, go to banks to take mortgage money, build their own houses, plant trees, get comely wives or loyal husbands, bear and raise children, smile, buy new cars and wash their cars, and work out, and need to be loved and feel important. And this all makes an alcoholic feel creepy and uncomfortable. But since sober people are the majority and prevail, and since an alcoholic is generally raised in a family, he does not know how come he feels different, not like others, uncomfortable, sick. Alcohol and other substances give perfect reason for this, balance an alcoholic with the rest of the world, and provide him with an everyday fight with the abuse effects. It’s like deliberately injecting snake poison and having a reason to feel sick and fight the sickness. It is fuel.

Dake Aachen

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In this issue:

– Fuck Hitler, Idi Amin, Pol Pot et al. Consider the Great American Lobster – Dane Cook Is Not a Silly Bitch – The 2012 Apocalypse – Doug Stanhope speaks about comedy, family and everyday life – Satan’s thoughts about the world we live in, music, religion and Barack Obama – Acting, a Dying Art – Brian “Head” Welch’s book review

DOOMSDAY DEPT ARE: Editors-In-Chief: Dake Aachen / Skippy Dominguez Other Editors: Daniil Kharms / Tony Papercut / Cervus Conservus Issue Contributors: Kebope Bwana / Uwe Schweinsteiger / Winston Kane Erik Berg-Johansen / Robin Johnstone / Norman Wilkerson and Skinny Gaviar

Cover photo by Erik Berg-Johansen

Dane Cook is not a silly bitch

(words by Uwe Schweinsteiger / photos by Robin Johnstone)

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Dane Cook Is NOT a Silly Bitch (and neither is Zach Galifianakis) In 1975 or 1976, when Dane Cook was a three-year-old toddler, a dog gone wild attacked him and clamped the little boy’s head in its violent, beastly jaws. This was the key moment in Dane Cook’s life according to an overwhelming public opinion, because this was exactly when and how that little sprout of Cook’s future was planted. Was it that mental fear of being in the grip of death, so close to it at such a young age, that badly twisted the boy’s consciousness and made him remain frozen and insusceptible to the intellectual development common to the majority of other humans? Or was it plain physical damage to his brain that caused the same effect on his ability to think and evolve? People believe one of those to be true.

But we don’t. Because how else would you explain Dane Cook’s platinum and double platinum CDs, and his two sold out shows in Madison Square Garden in one night? No, the answer is much simpler. — Dane Cook has sold his soul to the devil; and if you are familiar with the 16th century picturesque interpretation of what terms a contract with the devil offers (Christopher Marlowe’s “The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus”, which is a very vivid, trustworthy and objective account, because back then people weren’t able to lie, they could only interpret), then you should know that it binds the devil with the subject of the contract for twenty four years. Considering that Dane Cook’s major breakthrough happened in 1998, we are still left with fourteen years of having to suffer him.

The hypothesis seems plausible, because it’s either this, or there are no less than two millions of stupid fucks who have both will and money to buy his CDs and pay for his shows.

And, you know, how can you call a guy a silly bitch, if he had enough guts to sell out to the devil and then be tortured forever in hell? Dane Cook is NOT a silly bitch.

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FUCK HITLER, IDI AMIN, POL POT et al.

CONSIDER THE GREAT AMERICAN LOBSTER words by Kebope Bwana | artwork by Skinny Gaviar Roughly six million Jews were slain during World War II. Please leave emotions aside for this one and think reasonably: Isn’t that what one — objectively and deservedly — gets when doing business with Satan, all soaked in greed and hyped up on superciliousness to the goyim?

“But in America, you win the gold medal, I’ve seen you at the Olympics.

You stand there, hand on the hearts. You and the Roman Empire are the only people who’ve ever done that, so be very careful! ‘Cause you’re the new Roman Empire, you realize that? There’s no one else going! ‘Cause the only other big power is China, I suppose, but they’re going ‘Ah oh’ kind of thing. One thousand million, but they’re all just getting ready... But you’re the Roman Empire, yeah! So you’ve got vomitoriums and orgies to look forward to. Let the President lead the way! ‘Cause no one cares in America and I don’t know.”

Eddie Izzard, “Dress to Kill”, 1998 (a decade ago...)

The United States of America originated as the center of Judeo-Masonic civilization and developed under the strong influence of the Jewish elements.

As free and uninhibited as the mainland of America was considered to be at the time, it became a vast and fertile territory for the evil and ill-natured spirit to abscess. No one seemed to care. Instead, in 1905 Franklin D. Roosevelt addressed the Jews with a letter to celebrate their 250th anniversary of settlement in the USA. Jews helped build this country, he said in the letter. Grover Cleveland, an ex-president at the time, also felt the urge to acknowledge the Jewish factor and put it in a wordier way, “Very few”, he said, “or even none at all, of all the nationalities that make up the American nation influenced both directly and indirectly the development of the modern Americanism more than the Jewish people.”

Whether you admit it or just surf on the fake popular belief of that you are free in this country, can do whatever you want (much in the vein of Horatio Alger stories) and generally fight for freedom in the world, chances are that you are wrong (or live in a trailer park somewhere and probably not reading this issue anyway; ah...), because the USA was reared on the blood, slavery and absolutely inhuman exploitation of Negroes. But not limited to the Negroes, the American nation was also built on the flesh,

bones, land and property of more than one hundred million of murdered and tormented to death Indians, the real owners of the country. The Judeo-Masonic mass media until this day keeps convincing that America was developed by the hands of white colonists. The reality is that most of the land before the white people came had already been cultivated by the Indians (sorry, but that’s not another Fenimore Cooper story). The white were no more than invaders, robbers and bandits that built their well-being on the death and suffering of millions of Indians and black slaves.

The American slave-trade was started by Christopher Columbus. Five of his Jewish companions, led by Gabriel Sanchez offered him to capture five hundred Indians and sell them to slavery in Seville. The plan was accomplished, but Columbus did not get a single penny out of the deal (or whatever money was in circulation at the time). His Jewish companions not only got all the money but also started slave-trading in the New World. The first Jews who started trading the Indians were Hayman Levy and Nicholas Lowe — they built a distillery in Newport and started to accustom the Native Americans to hard drinking. (*Fun fact — Peter the Great, who was the first Masonic ruler of Russia, was also the one who introduced the Russians to heavy drinking; and not only introduced, but also forced it.)

Over an incredibly short period of time there were twenty two new distilleries built in the area. All of them (with no exception) belonged to the Jews. Alternating between using fire-water and straight murders, almost all of the Indians within the radius of more than fifty miles were exterminated. The Jewish fire-water trading kept increasing. At the end of the 17th century much of the power of the distilleries was focused on the slavetrading. Not by random chance did Newport become the center of slave-trading. The contemporaries said that the Jewish Newport was the international center of slave-trading. The Jews owned around three hundred marine vessels designed specifically to transport slaves.

Three quarters of all the slavers were Jews, most of who lived in Newport. The most famous slave-trader who spent more than fifty years doing this business was Aaron Lopez, a very successful and rich species controlling approximately half of the slave-trading business. Newport in the age of Aaron Lopez was the place that gave birth to one of the first Masonic lodges in the USA. Ninety percent of the lodge members were Jews. Twenty years later there was founded another one named ‘King David’. It was a hundred percent Jewish.

Charleston in South Carolina became the second center of the Jewish slave-trading. This was the place where Jewish entrepreneurs built quite a number of distilleries, the products of which were shipped straight to Africa to exchange them for slaves. For Jews like Aaron Lopez the slaves were tantamount to wild animals or cattle. Here’s what the slave-trading scheme looked like in the 17th century: 1. On the mainland of Africa the slavers would build numerous trading stations where they grabbed the Negroes by using violence, deceit or making them plain drunk.

2. From the USA there would come ships fully loaded with strong, trash-quality alcohol. After unloading all the fire-water, the captured Negroes were driven in the holds of the same ships. Water and food was given to the captives through an opening so narrow that no man — not even a child — could go through.

Before the ship departed the captain would pay to the slavers. The average cost for one Negro was four hundred liters of rum, forty kilos of gunpowder or eighteen to twenty dollars. Think that 50 Cent guy costs more today? Maybe so, but only in the imaginary world of the all American dollars that have long lost the touch of reality and it’s the Judeo-Masons who are trying hard to put it back in the world by slaying hordes of non-goyim.

3. The slave trading ships then came back to the USA, where through retail chains the Negroes were sold in the country. The price for one slave here — in the land of where Malcolm X was murdered three hundred years later — would go up to around two thousand dollars a head. In the middle of the 18th century every sixth inhabitant of the eastern states was a black slave.

The price might seem a bit too high for that time, but the Jewish slavers were honest with the buyers and justified the cost by the high death-rate of the Negroes on the way from Africa to the USA. And truly so, only one out of every ten slaves would make it alive to the American shore. Only in the period of 1661 to 1774 there was around one million of Negroes brought to the USA and nine millions died during the trip — what a waste, but no wonder on the other hand that the white folks got so scared when the black people of America were finally liberated and started winning all kinds of contests at the Olympic games, and did so well in professional sports, and started gangs like the Black Panthers and generally had the feeling of a menace (and looked so good without clothes too). You know, the survival of the fittest kind of thing (one is only left to wonder where Richard Pryor had come from). The profit of the Jewish slavers in the middle of the 18th century was two billion dollars in the value of that time. The figure looks quite formidable even today, think of how much it was worth then.

In the 17th century, when the European colonists started settling down in North America, the territory was inhabited by numerous Indian tribes. The invaders did not pay much attention to the rights and tribal interests of the Indians and immediately declared a war to them aiming to exterminate the natives. Which is kind of stupid — why slaying all the slave material on the same mainland where you live only to have the import slave price go up to two thousand dollars a head? Or was it because Negroes were better at obeying the white masters and the Indians would always choose to die free rather than work from dawn to sunset as cotton pickers?

Could be another grand Jewish speculation though...

Anyway, the colonists neither had mercy nor were conscience-stricken to kill the Indian girls, women,

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children or old men, which is also sort of an alright thing by today’s American standards (and we are not talking here about watching another soppy PearlHarbor movie, and wiping tears, and feel humane, and feel compassion, no, what we mean is the real world — Vietnam, Iraq, you know, that sort of common thing that one gets bored and dry-eyed when one hears about it, and gets a cliché reaction like, “Oh yes, this is just a terrible, meaningless war, a horrible thing”; no, please, that’s not a ‘horrible thing’ — hundreds of thousands of people died, that’s what happened, it wasn’t even a war). Alright, the Indian tribes that were too strong and brave to be slain were exterminated by low and guileful but admittedly inventive acts.

The most popular of which was giving to the Indians blankets infected with smallpox or poisoned spirits.

Ha, remember the South Park episode.

According to the law that was in force until 1924 (Mark Twain died in 1910 if you want to know the time frame), the Indians were not valid citizens of the country (you know, the land where they were born and millions of their ancestors were born) and had absolutely no rights.

Here are a couple of good old American examples to add flesh and color to the picture.

Cherokee — one of the numerous Indian tribes — lived up to the 18th century on the territory of the present day Virginia, North and South Carolina, Alabama, and Georgia, occupying a vast strip of land between the ocean and the mountains. Starting from 1721 the white invaders pressed the tribe out, occupied their territory leaving only a small piece of land to them.

In 1791 the U.S. government signed a treaty with the tribe, according to which the Cherokees were deprived of much of their historical territory. The little piece of the land they were left with was proclaimed ‘inviolable’. Thirty five years later the government again got this familiar and ball-tickling urge for expansion and drove the Cherokees together with five other major Indian tribes further to the Wild West. This was a glorious military operation that had all the fine and inseparable components of the superior big time, real life slaughter and bullying: ignorant violence, butcher type massacre, plain dumb lawlessness, and, of course, looting.

The DEMOCRATIC U.S. government on penalty of death drove together four hundred ‘representatives’ out of seventeen thousands of the Cherokee and made the poor illiterate Indians approve the treaty that was ratified by the U.S. Congress. According to the treaty, the United States of America appropriated seven million acres of cultivated land and forced all the Cherokee to live in the new Indian Territory on the other shore of the Mississippi river. Out of seventeen thousands of the Cherokees four thousands died during the move. Sometime later, when the white expansion lust once more got the hold of the white Americans, the new Indian Territory was taken again. All in all the Indians lost a bit more

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than eighty million acres of land. The outposts of the great American colonization were always owned and represented by the Jews.

Here’s a typical pattern of how new territories were colonized.

A group of sturdy men and women — say, twenty families — moved to the new land (pre-cultivated by Indians) to start a new life. Of those twenty families nineteen were armed with a plow and a sickle (literally) to till the forests, burn out the steppes and, generally, build the American dream of how they saw it then. The twentieth family would set up a store and trade goods with the colonizers. This family would soon undertake the sale of the agricultural products of the other nineteen families.

A very, very important factor to build the healthy American economy. Because this twentieth family — as a result of selling — always got money before the others in the area did, it soon started providing the commodity of lending money. This was how small Jewish banks started. The good old American capitalism, shaped by the twentieth family in every village. A Jewish family.

The Jewish trading stations, where in exchange for liquor or weapons there were fur-skins traded out from the Indians, never let the representatives of other outposts do business or exploit ‘their Indians’. Here’s another good example of how the entrepreneurs punished the natives who did not obey.

One time in Missouri there showed up agents of a different trading station who started buying up the fur-skins at a better price. The local traders did not like this kind of thing, so in 1837 they sent a white person infected with smallpox to the Fort Union outpost, and the manager there, who was warned and was on the same moral level, called together five hundred of the best Indian hunters who got to selling furs to the rival traders. Right there in the outpost the manager got the blood of the smallpox guy and injected it into all the hunters. In less than a month ninety percent of the Indians died out and the traders looted the dead bodies and sent the loot to sell as goods in their retail stores.

Ah, the free enterprising spirit of the American business.

At the same time, the military forces kept building up and getting stronger by practicing mass murder on the Indians. The non-official (but nonetheless powerful and driving) motto was “Clean up America from the Indians”.

In 1864 colonel Chivington commanded his eight hundred drunken troops to attack the Cheyennes camp, the inhabitants of which had long before that surrendered and had both the American flag and a white flag flying over the camp. The troops started firing and killed everyone in the camp, including women and children. After the mass-murder they proceeded on to scalping the dead bodies, and even butchering out the male, female and children’s genitalia. Four years later the Cheyennes were put to annihilation at the Battle of Washita River, initiated by General Custer.

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In 1862 the U.S. government issued a law to settle in the West, i.e. in the Indian territories. To encourage the white folks to slay the Indians, each of the white settlers was promised to have one hundred and sixty acres of land for free. The Indians, the true owners of the land, were declared outlaws.

The American opinion on the matter split at the time: some considered it would be fair to slaughter only the male Indians, others thought that women and children should be killed too, since all Indians should have equal rights (makes sense, especially along the line of the present day emancipation).

Many of the U.S. states paid money for every Indian scalp. This was how the American soldiers reported to their commanders.

The U.S. Congress Act of 1871 ratified that no further treaties were to be made with the Indians. A federal counsel put the government policy towards Indians in the following way: “One should clearly understand that when a civilized state has to deal with the barbarians, there can never be a question of honor of the nation; wild people should be treated in the same way as wild animals, which is to the civilized man’s profit: either to war and defeat them or to flee; the Indians should feel as good and safe in the reservation and as bad and tormented outside as the government would wish them to feel; the ones who obey will have food and protection, the ones who don’t behave and rebel will be exterminated”.

It should be pretty obvious by now that the state policy to the Native Americans reproduced the Judeo-Talmudic model of attitude and action towards the goyim. Treating people worse than cattle (hello PETA, you stupid fucks) with chilling violence and a lack of restraint, which are characteristic of the Jewish zealots. The treatment

“The brainchild of the Judeo-Masonic ideology became the U.S. Constitution — the most hypocritical law document in the history of mankind.

At the same time with declaring constitution and democracy this document deprived the Indians of their rights and citizenship in their own country and not only legalized slaveholding and slave trade, but also let it flourish.”

of the property and land of the Indians as of no man’s also was a clear reproduction of one of the Talmud’s norms that perceived the property of non-Jews as the ‘free pool’. Guided by this principle the Judeo-Masonic government of the USA declared in 1899 a new act of grabbing the Indian lands that had been only a few years ago recorded as belonging to the natives ‘forever’. A national campaign called ‘the Runs’ was announced.

In the public announcement from the U.S. government it was said that “Any white citizen of the United States who will wish to have a piece of land gratis should on April 22, 1899 report to a specific line that was put beforehand, and start running when commanded; every participant of the Runs will have that piece of land gratis, that he occupies before the others. The fastest runners will get the biggest pieces!”

Thousands of white people gathered for ‘the Runs’ to grab the Indian land. Every runner had a rag of white cloth in the hand. The one who’d put the rag on a yet unoccupied piece of the Indian Territory became its owner. That was a great triumph of the Talmudic spirit on the American land. The primary accumulation of capital that let the USA develop its economy was realized through slave trade, slave exploitation, looting the Indians and grabbing their territory. The myth about the great American colonists who put blood and sweat into hard land cultivation is as gross a fable as the American democracy. Majority of the land had been cultivated not by the whites but by the Indians.

Those pieces of land that were started from zero were developed by the slaves of white occupants.

The Judeo-Masonic Spirit of the United States The USA was founded on the chief principle of political organization of the ancient Judea. After the Jewish got back from Egypt to Palestine, its territory was divvied up into twelve parts and these were given to the twelve tribes of Israel. Each part was ruled by its elite according to the local laws, but all the twelve parts were subordinate to the Great Sanhedrin. The same principle was used by the Founding Fathers, almost all of them, by the way, were members of Masonic Lodges ruled by the Jews. Thirteen states were united, each with their own rules and laws and traditions, but they were all subordinate to the single Federal center that was formed and controlled by Masons.

In any of the Masonic Lodges of the USA one can see portraits of the Founding Fathers dressed up in the Masonic attire, including George Washington, the first president of the United States.

The first project of establishing the USA as government was developed in 1748 by the founder and head of the American freemasonry Benjamin Franklin. This highranking Mason has always been in touch with and influenced by the Judaic groups, humbly considering himself as a bailiff of the Jewish capital. His phrase, “Money is coined liberty”, became a symbol of the American, i.e. the Judeo-Masonic understanding of the freedom.

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The Declaration of Independence was signed almost entirely by Masons.

The brainchild of the Judeo-Masonic ideology became the U.S. Constitution — the most hypocritical law document in the history of mankind. At the same time with declaring constitution and democracy this document deprived the Indians of their rights and citizenship in their own country and not only legalized slaveholding and slave trade, but also let it flourish.

All the American law documents of those times (we’ll get to the present days, don’t you worry) reflect the savagely cruel world vision of the Illuminati Order, that in America was called ‘Phi Beta Kappa’. This order was founded on the American land in 1776 supposedly

by Thomas Jefferson. A 19th century researcher of this order said, “This secret Satanist organization presents a great danger to the society, its civil and religious institutions”.

As a Masonic historian puts it, “Still today the American freemasonry takes pride in its Founding Fathers and many freemasons emphasize the Masonic meaning of the Declaration of 1776”.

The Masons formed the American nation. The whole political and social system of the United States was founded and built on the Judeo-Talmudic ideology of the Masonic Lodges. The ideology of violence, greed, hypocrisy, double-dealing, intolerance to the goyim, and limitless dumb arrogance.

The first prime minister of the foreign affairs of the United States was Robert Livingston, the Grand Master of the Masonic Lodge of the New York state. This figure put a great Masonic foundation to the foreign policy department of the USA by forming its governing body exclusively out of freemasons.

Two other high-ranking Masons — Robert Morris and Alexander Hamilton — put the same foundation to the government system of finances and taxes and by doing so transformed it into the means of personal enrichment. Morris, who was taken in the Masonic Lodge personally by Washington, was appointed by the first president of the USA as the first Superintendant of Finance.

In 1782 — initiated by Washington and Morris — there was established the first State Bank of the United States, the major shareholders of which were the leading Mason figures — Franklin, Jefferson, Hamilton, Monroe and Jay. The first supreme judge of the USA became a Masonic Brother John Marshall, who held the position until his death in 1835. Having spent decades (and this is no hyperbole, literally) in this position, Marshall put all the foundation of the modern U.S. justice, which is absolutely Masonic, and you do know deep in your heart, eyes sober, that the judicial system is a total mockery and derision of the real justice and common sense, plain reason. The American laws that were

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passed on his initiative, based on the hypocritical freedom and democracy, turned one part of the population into soulless objects, and the other part into foreigners (xenophobia, mind you, is Masonic in its roots). The Masonic Themis, being more than blind — plain ignorant, dumb and numb like an early 60’s judge in any Lenny Bruce case — ignored all the complaints of the Indians and Negroes, ignored all the white violence, and rape, and bigotry, and cruelty, and whatnot. At the same time when the Supreme Judge Brother Marshall held the position and passed the laws, there were millions (millions) of Indians slaughtered and their property was grabbed by the white occupants.

The federal town, that later became the capital of the USA, was built by the Masonic architects, led by James Hoban (the first master of the Masonic Lodge No. 1, who was appointed in 1792 as the chief architect personally by Washington.

Since the town (yes, it was a town at the time) was built on an unoccupied and uncultivated land, the Masonic architects had great potential of raising up anything their Baphomet worshipping, and money, and worldpower craving brains were up to. When developing the project they used as many figures and symbols of the Masonic rites as they could to fortify their contemporary and future dominance.

The chief architectural dominants of the future capital of the Judeo-Masonic civilization became the presidential palace (that later came to be known as the White House and that was built by Brother Hoban himself), the Masonic temple (that was initially planned as a reconstruction of the Solomon temple) and a memorial to the Masons (that later became a memorial to the Mason Thomas Jefferson). If you take a look at the plan of Washington, you will clearly see the symbols of freemasonry. From the White House and the memorial there spread the lines that cross at the Mason temple and form the picture of a compasses.

From air view there can clearly be seen the key signs of freemasonry — set squares, compasses, rulers, pentagrams. On the upper part of the White House Hoban put five pentagrams that represent the Masonic power.

The American masons, having a bigger taste for the occultism than their west-european Brothers, put great significance in the symbolism that had its origins in the Judaic Kabbalah. They perceived it as their security of power. This can be explained by the fact (the fact!) that in the USA the Masonic Lodges were Judaic in their majority, and some of them were one hundred percent Jewish.

The Masonic symbolism is everywhere in the state documents of the USA, and above all this is true for the money bills.

Let’s take a look at a one dollar bill. In the left part of it there is the truncated pyramid reigned by a triangle eye of the “Great Architect of the Universe”, as they call and show it in the documents of Masonic Lodges. Among all

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the freemasons the “Great Architect of the Universe” is an occult object of worship, which would make the inscription near the pyramid — “In God We Trust” — look like horrible blasphemy (if one believes in God), because here God is sacrilegiously substituted by the object of the Masonic worship.

The pyramid consists of thirteen layers, each brick of which symbolizes the place of each nation and human against the top. The symbol of the powerful top — the triangle eye of the “Great Architect of the Universe” — is crowned by a thirteen letter Latin inscription that sort of confirms the right of the “chosen” nation for the world supremacy and domination.

The symbolism of the number thirteen that in the occult rituals represents one of the signs of Satan is present in many drawings of the one dollar bill. The

official position is that this number stands for the number of the originally united states (the union of which, remember, was a reconstruction of the Israelite way of ruling). But there is Rosicrucian testimony of that the number thirteen, in addition to its occult meaning, also symbolizes the Judaic people, that originally consisted of thirteen parts — twelve tribes of Israel, and the thirteenth tribe, that joined Israel and represented Khazars who accepted Judaism (today they make up the majority of Jews) and the “spiritual” Israelites — Masons.

Under the symbolic pyramid of the “chosen” nation’s world domination there are these words that stand for the main objective of the Judeo-Masonic civilization — “New order for centuries”.

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In the right part of the bill there’s an eagle carrying a shield with thirteen stripes and holding in the right paw a branch of acacia with thirteen leaves and thirteen buds. Acacia in the Mason symbolism is the tree of wisdom and knowledge. (In a number of countries, in France, for example, there are Masonic magazines published under the title “Acacia” that circulate only among freemasons). On the bill the acacia branch symbolizes the Masonic “enlightenment” of the world. For the ones reluctant to acknowledge this enlightenment the eagle holds thirteen arrows that bear threat for each of the thirteen levels of the subjugated mankind.

And to let no man doubt the real meaning of the “New order for centuries”, the eagle holds in its beak a stripe with the Latin inscription motto, that is translated as “from multitude to one”, i.e. to create a cosmopolitan herd out of the multitude of nations. The herd that’d be controlled by the “chosen” nation, the Masons.

As an easily recognized symbol of the “chosen” nation there’s the Star of David over the eagle (the sign of Judaism and Israel), made of thirteen Masonic pointed stars. Here it most accurately symbolizes thirteen tribes of Israel.

The development of freemasonry in the USA was of terrifyingly and savagely cruel character. In addition to the expansion of the criminal sect of Illuminati — Phi Beta Kappa — among the American freemasons there’s an old tradition of worshipping Satan in the figure of Baphomet. The sculpture of Baphomet was placed in the so called “Supreme Council of the

in the building called “Mausoleum” on the territory of the New Heaven campus and serve their Satanist rituals like lying in a coffin with skull and bones. Both Bush and Clinton, for example, are members of this society.

(Which could easily explain their infantile behavior, because, you know, — hello! how old does one has to be to like skulls and bones, and have death fascination etc?

In today’s world it’d be normal practice for a fourteen year old Goth Tokyo girl, but for U.S. presidents? Uhm...)

Attempts of some members of other Lodges that got into “Skull and Bones” by unfortunate accident to disclose the criminal and savage nature of Masonry always had a tragic end. In 1826 the Masons chased down and killed one of their ex-members — William Morgan, who could have exposed them. First they tried to intimidate him by publishing articles with threats, but when they realized that was not going to stop him, they hired killers. The savage execution of Morgan opened eyes to freemasonry of many Americans. The whole country almost revolted. In many places Masons got kicked out of their jobs and were not let in schools and religious communities. This attitude and resentment to freemasonry lasted for twelve years (1826 to 1838), but the Masons were able to bribe some and murder the others of their opponents. Already in the 1840s the Masons got back their positions and became only stronger after the experience.

As Thomas Hamilton, a Scottish writer, put it in his book “Men and Manners in America”, “Wherever he goes, the coils of business are around him. He is a sort of moral Laocoon, differing only in this, that he makes no struggle to be free. Mammon has no more zealous worshipper than your true Yankee. His homage is not

“The true religion of America was mysticism of the monetary success. Even the image of Christ was adapted to this scheme.

The American Christ is an effective producer, a successful moneymaker, for the true power in America is business.”

World”, founded on the 31st of May, 1801, by the Jew Isaac Long in Charleston, South Carolina. The Council coordinated a number of Masonic Lodges, that held black masses in which there took part Masons even from the lowest circles of initiation.

The “Supreme Council of the World” regularly elected the black antipopes, among which one may single out Albert Pike, who regularly served the black masses. In 1871 Pike published a book called “Moral and Dogma” that in the freemason circles got to be known as “the Masonic bible”.

In 1832 there was established another secret society that was of a very delicate and monstrous bigotry type — “Skull and Bones”. Its alma-mater was the Yale university and its founder — a young occultist, that received Masonic initiation in Germany, — William Russell. Beginning from 1856 until present days members of this society — that became sort of an elite sect and raised many influential American figures, including presidents — gather every week

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merely that of the lip, or of the knee; it is an entire prostration of the heart; the devotion of all powers, bodily and mental, to the service of the idol. He views the world but as one vast exchange, on which he is impelled, both by principle and interest, to overreach his neighbors if he can. The thought of business is never absent from his mind... The only respite he enjoys from the consideration of his own affairs, is the time he is pleased to bestow on prying into yours.”

There’s no need to repeat that the majority of the American entrepreneurs were Jews, who set the fashion and spirit of the whole financial and economic activity of America (although we just repeated that).

And that goes for the whole Christian thing as well. The true religion of America was mysticism of the monetary success. Even the image of Christ was adapted to this scheme. The American Christ is an effective producer, a successful moneymaker, for the true power in America is business.

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The American churches, that called themselves Christian but rarely were preaching in true belief (neither do we, by the way, we still haven’t done enough drugs to do that, you know, the Brian “Head” Welch way), since from the very start they’d emasculated the most important thing in Christ’s commandment — non-possession and love for one’s neighbor. The American churches were those gigantic commercial enterprises, controlled mostly by baptized Jews, who carried on the spirit of Judaism and treated the church like a profitable business.

The Judaic spirit of money-grubbing got perfect moral justification in such churches. The majority of the Christian churches in the USA got to be blunt servants of the Jewish capital. Next to the protestant and catholic churches there were built Masonic temples that had the same parish.

The class of moneymakers was the ruling and the only class of America. The country, an entire civilization in a sense, was built on the ideas of businessmen.

Other classes, depraved and mostly illiterate, had no other choice than to adapt to the philosophy of the moneymakers. Having built, can one really maintain a civilization on the philosophy of a shroff enterprise?

By the end of the 19th century the Jews managed to have under control all the key industries of the American economy — steel (the Guggenheims), tobacco, telegraphy, asphalt. And what’s even more (or at least equally) important, is that they owned the majority of private banks that, of course, controlled the prevailing part of the American economy. For example, the Harriman system, the objective of which was to unite all the American railway networks, found great encouragement and support in the New York private house Kuhn, Loeb & Co. A great lot of the Jews got incredibly dominant in the West, in California above all. Upon founding this state, Jews emerged as judges, people’s delegates, governors, mayors etc.

In industrial field those were the Seligman brothers, William Henry, Jesse James in San Francisco, Louis Sloss in Sacramento, and others.

By the beginning of the 20th century there emerged an incredibly powerful financial group headed by the leading Jewish financiers — Kuhn, Loeb, Bellmon, Lazar, Solomon, Landenburg, Thalmann, Speyer, Schiff, Seligman and Guggenheim (wonderful, wonderful names that sound like coming out of the mouth of a rigid Nazi officer reading aloud from a gaschamber list).

In 1912 these Jewish bankers by way of bribing and blackmailing obtained their legal right to control the U.S. finances. In exchange for the monetary support during the election campaign, the Masonic president Woodrow Wilson signed the law on Federal Reserve System, according to which command over the countries financial resources was passed entirely into the hands of international Jewish bankers. The law was drawn up by the leading figures of the Kuhn, Loeb & Co financial group, and in close cooperation with the main representatives of the J.P. Morgan’s financial

empire, which in turn was intimately connected with the Rothschilds.

The Federal Reserve System law gave foundation to the biggest trust in the world. When the president signed the law, the invisible government of money became legitimate.

As a contemporary congressman Louis T. McFadden assessed this instrument of the Jewish financial power, “When the Federal Reserve act was passed, the people of the United States did not perceive that a world system was being set up here... an international superstate — a superstate controlled by international bankers and international industrialists acting together to enslave the world for their own pleasure... Every effort has been made by the Federal Reserve Board to conceal its power but the truth is the Federal Reserve Board has usurped the Government of the United States. It controls everything here and it controls all our foreign relations.

It makes and breaks governments at will”.

The American states and society turned into an ideal Jewish preserve, where greed and money-grubbing was in harmony with Satanism and the Judeo-Masonic ideology of the “chosen” nation, that had the liberty for anything. The myth of the national superiority of America is a modified version of Judaic theory about the “chosen” nation.

Already in those times the USA laid down the principles of the superiority and permissiveness towards all other nations and states.

In 1823 two high-ranking Masons — the US president James Monroe and Secretary of State John Quincy Adams — prepared a document that was later called the Monroe doctrine, also called “America for Americans”.

In the document it was claimed that the USA should dominate over the whole Western hemisphere of the planet. The doctrine was approved and advocated by all the Masonic lodges that treated it as the first step of incorporating all countries of the North and South America to the USA. Having exterminated the Indians and grabbed their territories, the Judeo-Masonic state expanded its violent aggression further, drowning the world in the goyim (and only goyim) blood. Florida was seized from Spain, Texas — from Mexico. Later on, the USA committed a new aggression against Mexico by taking from it the territories of New Mexico and Northern California. After 1848 the USA expanded its territory up to the Pacific coast on the whole strip from Canada to Mexico. As compared to 1776, the USA territory had grown eight times as big.

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Society of One-Dimension Which is pretty cool to be in one dimension, right?

Tons of deskilled workers not able survive without coffee-machines and precooked food etc, get all pissed off if service clerk gives them (you?) the professional hollow and insipid smile.

The social and political system of the United States is an extreme form of totalitarianism, which is more ultimate and dangerous than the one of the fascist Germany. It’s been over two hundred years now that the Americans elect their presidents from only two candidates, both of which are “precooked” by the behind-the-scenes Judeo-Masonic group. You need facts? Damn the facts, we are not writing a book here, just roll with us and trust your common sense, reason.

How come there are heroes like Al Capone or Bugsy Siegel, who were no Robin Hoods even in the slightest sense but still have such great respect across the nation even today? They did live a sort of the American dream, that’s true.

Money and goods have the biggest value in the American social mind. Life of an average person, average Joe, is overridden by and subdued to the endless pursuit of the new, brand new and even newer types of products and service (even the iPhone, which is a phone, basically, just a phone is a fetish. — No, no, sir, if I could just add my two cents, sir, iPhone is not just a phone, it has all these cool features like... — No, it is just a phone, it’ll not develop you spiritually or physically, it’ll not make you understanding and tolerant, it won’t bring you reason, won’t make your life even one tiny bit better, it is just a phone, overrated just like sex, and you had a phone already before you bought it anyway).

The American consumerism (much despised by Henry Miller more than half a century ago) turns a human being, a person born to be a creature of higher consciousness and intellect into a moneydigging machine. Which is of undeniably retrograde character. (“Don’t you have enough money you money-grubbing whore?” Bill Hicks). Partly this is due to the fact that the modern America started as a nation bereft of national consciousness or even consisting of people who bear a grudge to their home-countries. What a fertile soil it was and still is for the Talmudic principles to reign over.

Around sixty percent of the Americans do not read books at all, and if they do, it’s low-brow fiction or fucking comic books. (Wrestling, — “...wrestling is nothing but a crude form of folk theatre”, as Tom Wolfe put it, — American Idol, Sex and the City etc etc... What exactly are those TV shows?) Culturally the Americans are probably the most dull and least attractive nation even compared to African cannibal tribes, who — if anything — are at least not brain-eaten by consumerism and know how to live together and never put the blame of a wrongdoing on that daddy-never-hugged me shit. Culture is 18

something the Americans buy and sell, something they trade as material luxury.

Any significant — remarkably significant — work of culture created on the territory of the USA was a natural rebel against the system of Americanism, this great fucking lobster that holds the world in its clicky clacky money-clinky greedy hands, the one that’s boiling up in the global consumerism it created, the one of the cancer type, squeaky, the creaky sound of which feels like a roar to the non-educated of the Third World and siren sweet to the ignorant pro-consumerists with disposable income, you know, the great American lobster. From Edgar Poe, and Mark Twain, and Walt Whitman through Jack London, Theodore Dreiser, O. Henry, S. Lewis and to Hemingway, and Salinger, and William Faulkner, and Burroughs, and Ken Kesey, and with Thomas Wolfe (not Tom Wolfe) on top, and many others, they rebelled, they questioned, and fought the social values of America, and went insane, and died of exhaustion and fatigue, and committed suicides out of desperation, the great ones.

A substitute to culture in the American society is film and television business with retarded personalities like Schwarzenegger, and Stallone, and Lindsay Lohan, and Johnny Depp, and Pamela Anderson, and Bruce Willis, and Demi Moore, and Dennis Hopper, and Drew Barrymore (and we are not going to mention Paris Hilton, because she sucked cock in front of a video camera and that’s plain dumb, out of range), and whatnot, they are the embodiment of dullness, extreme ignorance and primitivism of the American film industry. Industry, that is. Lack of true human feeling, spiritual wretchedness and poverty of the American cinema cannot be compensated by breath-taking visual stunts and color, and plots full of intrigue and action, and twists, and exciting images of violence and sex.

And all these movies that get all sorts of the highest awards in America, they show undeniable regress in the sense common to the all mankind culture, they drain

“Around sixty percent of the Americans do not read books at all, and if they do, it’s lowbrow fiction or fucking comic books.” the human being of spirit and turn it into a simplified, unaffected and artless creature that operates by primitive concepts, clichéd sets of words and phrases, smiles, and expressions.

From the day of its inception Hollywood has been an all Judaic enterprise to turn generations of people into dehumanized, bereft of reason cattle.

The clichéd, primitive images and character created

by Hollywood made a gigantic leap and took over the world in 1960s with the movie “Love Story”, that was, by the way, produced by Roberts Evans (the real name is Robert Shapiro, you know, Jewish). As he describes it in his book “The Kid Stays in the Picture”, it was the real breakthrough where people all over the world would go to the movie and watch it, and cry, and feel it’s important to fuck each other while they were still alive (and young),

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and since then the world, the younger and naive generation of it, was at the Hollywood’s feet. Which has a good side to it, if you are young and do not care much (and have this Let-the-world-wag attitude) down what slope and where to this world rolls. And especially if you are male. Because out there in the great American and globalised pool thereare literally hordes (and herds) of young underdeveloped (and pretty often underage) girls, who are primitive enough to think that sex is important and it’s alright to change sex partners at will, snap — just like that, as often as they like, be fuckbuddies with a man of any age or intellect or sometimes social status. Entire nations and parts of other globalised nations of the Hollywood-raised, sodomyprone girls who always have enough money for skin and beauty service, and for spa-salons, and for artificial tan, and good nutrition, and who take it in the ass and are actually brain-washed into liking it, enjoying it, who’d suck your swollen at the view of those tender wet and sometimes underage lips dick, the lips that’d round your cock like God sucking it with mouth full of heavenly cream, the one that angels feed upon. Isn’t that great? Sort of a decadent thing, but a movie raised girl will lick your ass rim just to give you pleasure and enjoy it and smack her lips like it was a treat. Anyway, let’s keep rolling...

Madonna is into Kabbalah, Tom Cruise is into scientology (which manifests his and pretty much other American actors’ retardation; Ron Hubbard, who was a cheap science fiction writer before he ‘invented’ scientology said, “Writing for a penny a word is ridiculous. If a man really wants to make a million dollars, the best way would be to start his own religion”), and Elvis Presley was a Jew. Walt Disney was a Mason and worked out a special technique of warping and deforming the mind of a child by shifting the key points and values of a normal (not the American type ‘normal’) human being from spiritual development and — most important — thinking to the pragmatic values of money and power. Life is a game or entertainment for an American child. A game the main elements of which are money and power. The numerous cartoon series that promote (or just show, unintentionally) all the violence and superhero stuff and — ah, it’s all an old tale, so let it be damned — wreck the natural sense of kindness in the child.

Having taken part in the play-world of violence, and murder, and the desire to dominate, the American kid, growing up, develops a habit for the violence, a taste for it, gets plain used to impartially observing dumb exploitation and murder. By the age of eighteen the kid is not able to watch serious films or read good books.

He finds them boring. And commercials, once started in the USA, have taken over the globalised world, all clichéd, and have very little to do with culture in its true meaning and nothing at all with art. Yeah, but we do know that it’s plain brainwashing, and the topic has been discussed over and over again, so let’s just drop it.

Pop culture cattlizes the stupid ones and makes rebel and eventually go insane the intellectually gifted ones.

And even behind the hippie movement there were Judaic masons Herbert Marcuse and Jerry Rubin, disguised as American activists. In Rubin’s book he declared that they’d mixed youth, music, sex, drugs and rebelliousness with treachery, and there was no way one could beat that down.

Under the slogan of rejecting the outdated morals of the bourgeois world, Marcuse, Rubin, and their fellow ‘fighters’ have in an undeniably large part contributed to the deskilling and cattlization of the world, the world as we know it today. Of course they weren’t the only ones who did the due contribution. There are hordes of them. Think of the whole IT industry meek gang, the large part of which is incredibly unnecessary and parasites on the soil of earth. Producing their backup software, and antivirus software at the same time with new viruses, and their digital rendering software, and their security software, and whatnot, heaps of ridiculously senseless and not even real products that keep people busy and filter out the meek fishhead types of men to make careers, get nonsensical positions and be generally satisfied with their lives.

Man, I’d just love to see those fuckers running around ass-scared, eyes popped wild out as an evidence of the deep fear of the real world when the 2012 Armageddon comes, with their shaky untanned pimpled buttocks and the rotten fruit type of fat bodies, screaming, “Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, what button do I press to end this terrible Apocalypse?! Escape, escape, Esc, reboot, oh my God!” And that’s unless they die of a heart attack first. The faint and ugly ones, the parasites.

Anyway...

The Parasites The United States of America today are the most vivid and avid example of economic parasitism. Making only five percent of the total Earth population, America consumes forty percent of the total world resources.

At the same time with taking the large part of the resources, this country gives almost nothing to the mankind in exchange. And even more than that — it, much like a dense cloud of primitive yet all the time hungry locusts, leaves behind dead, sucked out nature, poisoned rivers and air. America is guilty of one third of the world’s pollution.

When considering any U.S. product in terms of the economical globalization, the product does not belong to the USA, but to the whole mankind America exploits in reality.

The average American today consumes as much as eight citizens of other nations do. And if you compare this to the countries of the non-Judeo-Masonic civilization, then the number is as big as twenty.

Would any thinking human being really believe that such a super-abundant level of consumerism is provided only by extreme labor diligence and working efficiency?

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If not today, but years ago there was a widespread belief (a myth actually) that the Americans are the most industrious and hard-working nation, and the wealth the nation possesses is the straight and just result of their labor and productivity. This is fair only to a small part of the nation that really works hard and efficiently. This part makes less than one third of the able-bodied population.

According to the official statistics, around forty percent of the Americans from age sixteen do not work at all. Thirty percent of the male and fifty percent of the female population do not have a regular day to day job or work (or ‘work’) from home.

Around ten percent work part-time. Five percent live on the dole.

Up until the last decade the active income of the Americans was growing twice as fast as labor productivity. Which means that the standard of life was provided not only by productivity, but also by other sources of income.

One should clearly understand that no most developed and state-of-the-art technics or technology is capable of increasing the limited quantity of natural resources. Technology can only accelerate processing of resources and their traffic. Which means that America, by sucking in forty percent of the universal resources and using a peculiar financial and economic mechanism, has

created a system of transferring the resources of the mankind to its own profit.

The backbone of this mechanism is in creating fake values and inequitable exchange of goods and service with other countries, with the rest of the world.

The first tool in redistributing resources of other countries to the American profit is the amount of unsecured dollars of such epic proportion that is beyond being ridiculous, or fearsome, or even conceivable.

The USA prints dollars dozens of times as much as it is necessary to serve the domestic turnover. Having no security in goods, the dollar has neither gold backing nor any substance at all. The whole US gold reserve in Fort Knox cannot secure even on fifth of all the paper dollars issued by the Jewish bankers of America. And not to let any of the billions of dollar holders exchange their money for gold Lyndon B. Johnson, the thirty-sixth U.S. president cancelled the practice of exchanging dollars for gold on a pre-fixed price in 1968. Thus, until recent years when the whole system started to slide down and collapse (from Enron to the Lehman Brothers), the value of the dollar was maintained by the myth of the “Great America”. The American financial system is an unprecedented fraud of the scale so tremendous, that even 200 micrograms of LSD will hardly let one embrace it. In reality the dollar as a value that’s supposed to be secured by economic and financial potential of the country presents much less than its claimed buying power. This gives America the facility to grab the resources of other countries in exchange for the

unsecured money bills. The main commodity of the USA that lets it make profit in the world market is not technology or machinery, but paper money with the overstated buying power.

To ‘save the dollar’ IMF created a special fund that made up to 50 billion of U.S. dollars. They were going to use the money to ‘support’ the countries where there’d be a threat of ‘escaping’ the dollar slavery.

The American financial system is built in such a way that it is constantly balancing on the verge of the debtor’s prison. Which is pretty much a figurative expression, because no one really is going to do this.

Masons are everywhere, and as much bigotry and hatred some people may have for the Jews, no one really, that is no human being (even as evil as it may be), really wants or is capable of setting loose another Holocaust.

Guarding the dollar, i.e. the worldwide parasitic systems of the Judeo-Masonic civilization, there are Jewish bankers. The whole principle of parasitism was laid by Rothschild. As a scoundrel financially and respected as some Al Capone as he were, Rothschild described the essence of his crooked system by saying that money was no more than regulator of the material resources; and that by controlling the flows and ratio of value of the currency of different countries one could provide transferring of the resources of one country to another by taking virtually no effort; all one had to do was to sit on the crossroad, where the gold flows and do everything to direct it to one’s side.

Everyone in the USA — average citizens and the American government — live on the tick, with their credit cards maxed out. And let the present crisis be damned; it’s been so widely discussed that we just drop it.

Let us delve into a bit of history instead.

In the beginning of the nineties the amount of consumer credit, private debts of the Americans, was around one trillion of U.S. dollars. The domestic debt of the American state was even bigger — three trillions of U.S. dollars. The numbers have exponentially grown since then, but we don’t have accurate figures at hands, nor probably does any other average Joe and facts be damned anyway.

In a special report of the International Monetary Fund (IMF) it was mentioned that only in the period between 1980 and 1996 there were 133 nations or three fourth of all the IMF members that have gone through at least one crisis of the banking system due to the fall in exchange of the dollar or to the fact that the nations tried to ‘escape’ the dollar.

There were 36 nations listed in the report that were still in the deep slump due to the reign of dollar: Argentina, Benin, Bulgaria, Cameroon, Central African Republic, Chad (I bet you don’t even know if it’s a real word and not something I just coined to exaggerate), Chile, Congo, Equatorial Guinea, Estonia, Finland, Guinea, Jordan, Kuwait, Latvia, Lebanon, Liberia, Lithuania, Macedonia, Malaysia, Mexico, Niger, Norway, Panama, Philippines, Sao Tome and Principe, Senegal, Somalia, South African Republic, Spain, Sweden, Tanzania, Thailand (you know, the land of cheap underage sodomy), Turkey, Uruguay, Venezuela.

There was even the USA mentioned in the report and the 1980 troubles in the banking sector, to overcome which one was forced to close down 2537 banking and financial offices.

After the much discussed in its time Mexican crisis in December 1994 there was raised a serious question of the reliability and transparency of the national banking systems. IMF developed a so called system of early prevention of any possible significant crisis.

Beginning from the second half of the 19th century the Rothschilds got to privately controlling the prices for gold, and went official with that in 1919. Up until today representatives of five leading Jewish companies trading precious metal gather in the office of the Rothschilds bank in London to fix the price for gold. They sit in the office and under the chairmanship of the representative of the Rothschild firm fix the average between the sale and purchase price — the so called London fix. The firstrate banks of the world and gold-mining companies have been using the London fix as a reference point to set their own price for gold.

Control of the Jewish capital over the world financial system that took it start with the Rothschild’s stock exchange, in the beginning of the 20th century, was reinforced by creating the Federal Reserve System that let the Jewish bankers along with the frauds with gold, start the fraud of the dollar internalization and the artificial increase of its value. As it is well known, the first attempt of the Jewish bankers to do that resulted in a terrible financial collapse — the Great Depression that destroyed millions of people and ruined entire fields of economy. The industrial production of the USA reduced two or three times, and doomed millions of people to famine and death.

However, none of the ones who organized the fraud and induced the Depression went broke. The Rothschilds, the Warburgs, the Kuhns, the Loebs and other Jewish bankers only multiplied their capitals and purchased many of the failed enterprises for almost no price. As one of the Jewish bankers admitted it, bankruptcy, distress and poverty are nutrient medium for creating Jewish fortune; their golden calf feeds not on creating resources and riches, and not even on using them, but on mobilization of those, which is the soul of speculation; the more the resources are transferred from hands to hands, the more the speculators leave those to themselves; they are the brokers who impose duty on any operation in the world, be it money transfer from one country to another or change of the exchange rate; to the calm and monotonous development and thrift they prefer the erratic increase and decrease of the exchange rate; nothing contributes to the exchange

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rate better than revolution or war, which weakens entire nations and makes them less reluctant or resisting to the foreign enterprises.

The last act that gave the Jewish bankers full control of the financial system was the foundation of IMF and the World Bank. This was how the Jewish bankers guaranteed themselves with the advantages of being the main world price regulators, and at the same time became the most powerful usurers (or money-lenders) for entire nations.

By using these advantages the USA have created a special tool to keep constantly redistributing the resources of other countries in America’s favor, intentionally setting low prices for raw materials

By using their financial and credit organization the USA strives to hold total control of the prices, stimulate backstage and low competition and the discord between the countries in debt. America does it to force the countries to bring down labor payment and thus lower production costs. Introduction of the new international economic structure that applied to more than 70 countries reduced the real wages by thirty to ninety percent. (This means that if an average Chinese laborer working on the production line making crappy U.S. flag stickers used to be paid two hundred dollars a month, the real wages with the introduction of the new structure were reduced to twenty dollars.)

This is why actually there’s so much famine and death in the Third World today — it’s not because they are no good, or their citizens slack all day around and prefer to die than to work and eat, or because they are unlucky,

“Every year in the countries that belong to the Judeo-Masonic civilization there are around 300 billion of drug dollars laundered.

90% of this money is invested in the domestic industry.” and oil that come from third-world countries.

The UN experts have repeatedly noted that the real costs of mining raw materials and oil production, including the accompanying environmental aspects in the developing countries significantly exceed the world’s fixed prices.

The underestimation of the prices comes at the cost of underpaying the workers on the one hand, and of ignoring the damage caused to the environment of the producing countries on the other. According to the data of many international organizations, the developing countries that export their products to the USA would need to spend billions of U.S. dollars above what they got if they had to observe the ecostandards currently in force in America.

The USA carry out the policy (purposeful) of underestimating the prices by setting up tariffwalls for the finished products that do not let the developing countries export the already processed goods. The USA forces the countries to sell only raw materials because the lion’s share of the price forms at the last stages of the processing. And the processing is done on the territory of America.

The revolting paradox of the American parasitism lies also in the fact that by underpaying the developing countries for the raw materials and oil they export it entangles the countries with enthralling debts that in the nineties were as big as 1.3 trillions of U.S. dollars. In many countries the annual payment of interest and the debt itself exceeds the total amount of the money they loaned to pay out the debts. The debt payments amount to twenty five percent of the export of such countries.

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or unskilled, or simply not smart enough — no — it’s because the great American lobster holds them death firm and ignorant in its greedy claws. Dozens of millions die.

According to UNICEF half a million of children die every year as result of the crisis caused by the American policy.

One of the main tools of transferring resources from other countries to America is multinational corporations, which are real empires if considered from the scale of their work. Multinational corporations are almost identical to the first-rate corporations of the USA that have branches all over the world. Their economic potential is monstrously huge. They produce more than half of the gross domestic product, their own financial resources are three to five times as big as the ones of the central banks and international financial organizations.

The transferring of resources of other countries to America is carried out by multinational corporations in the form of control over the vitally important resources of the countries where the branches are established, as well as in the form of pouring the capitals and goods to America through the system of the so called transfer prices, which are really plain fraudulent.

The level of the transfer prices that is used to calculate the figures and transfer money from the corporation’s direction to its foreign branches is fixed entirely arbitrarily. Well, not entirely, as it’s always in the favor of America. By setting a transfer price too high, the owners and directors transfer to the American banks the secret profits from their foreign subsidiaries that have local national capitals involved. This widespread fraud lets significantly reduce the dividend profits that rightly belong to the country where multinational corporations operate. By fixing the fraudulent transfer prices the American multinational corporations get the profit of billions of dollars. Which are unsecured paper money anyway.

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One of other sources of redistributing the profit in favor of America is the economy of money spent on labor in other countries to deliver goods to America.

The labor expenses in countries like Mexico, Brazil, Taiwan, and South Korea are nine to ten times lower than in the USA. America just grabs much of the product that belongs to workers of other countries.

other nations America regularly resorts to the extreme forms of violence including war. Consider just the short, amounting to a few decades period of time after World War II, during which the USA have committed so many crimes against humanity that they already deserve numerous Nuremberg trials, and their administration — the fate of the Hitler criminals.

Another major source of money and economical parasitism of the USA is drug trafficking. Every year in the countries that belong to the Judeo-Masonic civilization there are around 300 billion of drug dollars laundered. Ninety percent of this money is invested in the domestic industry. Manipulation of the amount of money that huge cannot be handled by regular banks and is carried out by the first-rate Jewish bankers, who are the executives of IMF and the World Bank.

1948 — 1995: Military operations on Philippines. Key participation in the punitive forces against the Filipino people that resulted in thousands of deaths; 1950 — 1953: Armed intervention of around a million of the American soldiers in Korea. Death of hundreds of thousands of the Koreans; 1964 — 1973: Fifty thousands of the American soldiers take part in a punitive action against Laos. Thousands of deaths; 1964: Bloody neutralization of the Panama national forces that demanded to have back an area in the Panama Canal (yeah, surprisingly eponymous); 1965 — 1973: Military aggression in Vietnam.

Extermination of more than half a million of the Vietnamese. Just like in the example of Hitler, entire villages were annihilated, burnt out with napalms. Mass murders of women and children; 1970: Aggression in Cambodia. Thirty two thousands American casualties. Large in number deaths of the peaceful Cambodians; 1982 — 1983: Terrorism act of American marines in Lebanon. Deaths; 1983: Military intervention of two thousands of American marines in Grenada. Hundreds of deaths; 1986: Perfidious attack on Libya. Bombing of Tripoli and Benghazi. Deaths; 1989: Armed intervention in Panama. Thousands of deaths; 1991: Large-scale military operation in Iraq. More than one hundred and fifty thousands of the Iraqis killed.

Deliberate bombings of Iraq to browbeat the nation; 1992 — 1993: Occupation of Somalia. Armed violence and murder of civilians; 1999: Aggression in Serbia. Use of mass destruction weapon with uranium components against civilians. The death rate is four thousands; 2002: Aggression in Afghanistan. Massive bombings of the cities. The death rate is sixty five thousands; 2003: Aggression in Iraq. Use of mass destruction weapons. Mass murders and torture of civilians. The death rate is one hundred and seventy thousands; 2006: American airstrike on Damadola (Pakistan), near the Afghan border. Among others, women and children killed; 2007: American airstrike in Somalia. Numerous deaths.

Personal interest of the Judeo-Masonic elite in drug trafficking explains the inefficiency of the ‘war’ against drugs. Every time the war against drugs is in conflict with the economic and strategic interests of the countries, it just shifts to the background and all of a sudden has low priority.

The Jewish bankers are behind the drug business in Latin America, Asia, primarily in Columbia and Burma.

During the civil war in Nicaragua the American government created a system of production and sale of drugs in the country. To help the Nicaraguans the CIA contras and the famous in his time colonel, the “American friend”, Oliver North not only covered up the drug traffic but also set up the drug supply from Columbia to the USA. During the war in Afghanistan, CIA used the Pakistani special service to arm the rebels. In exchange for supplying the weapons they got opium that was processed into heroin in over two hundred underground labs in Pakistan. Thus, with the U.S. assistance the opium production in Afghanistan from 1980 to 1994 grew as much as fifteen times.

The War List In 1990 the European parliament adopted the resolution that condemned the USA for the massive purchase of children in Honduras and Guatemala in purpose of organ transplantation. (Well, that’s pretty much all that Europe keeps doing all the time — they condemn, and disapprove, and disagree; they say, “Oh, those stupid Americans”, or, “That’s totally unbearable”, or, “We absolutely despise the Americans, their primitive values, their ridiculously shallow lives and ways of living” etc etc, but it always ends at that — condemnation, verbal farts, and that’s not how one should deal with the brutes; remember the Roman Empire and Attila the Hun.) One should not be grossed out by the American business in Honduras and Guatemala by the way, the plain zoological egoism and individualism of the American way of life tolerates any sort of crime as long as it is for personal benefit.

To confirm, to prove and hold the right to exploit

This is the list of only open and much publicized aggressions. Now think about the decades of when the USA waged undeclared war against El Salvador, Guatemala, Cuba, Nicaragua, Afghanistan, Iran by investing lots of money in the pro-American regimes and rebel groups that fought against legal governments that refused to acknowledge and roll with the American domination in their regions. Honduras, for example, was turned into the base of the American war against El Salvador and Nicaragua.

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The total amount of the world victims of the American aggression only in the period of 1945 to 2007 makes more than four million people, excluding the wounded and the ones who were left destitute.

After the collapse of the USSR and the end of the Cold War, America has no more walls to stop it from the aggression. The USA even turns the UN into its international tool of terrorizing the world.

There’s no other society on the face of the Earth that is as dependent in taking decisions and having their own points of view as the American nation. All kinds of cult figures backed by Masons form the public opinion. According to the data of a sociological research eighty percent of the Americans have no individual point of view and only repeat what their dumb idols say.

Funny enough (real real funny, hysterically exhilarating and very oppressing at the same time), America today is the most totalitarian society on the Earth, with the Americans not out of fear but in good trust having one single clichéd position to most of the generally important things. Where else would one find a country that has options of voting for one of only two parties? Choice without a choice.

The American presidents (with the exception of the old tale of JFK and few others) look pretty much like dummies with their hand-waving, and good old all American child-kissing, and the general attitude, and the professional smile of a Burger King boy who’d spit in your Whopper when you are not watching.

Showroom dummies set up by the backstage ruling clique.

There are generally two ways of depriving a human being of any kind of freedom. The first one is to marshal everyone, and make them march, and chant, and scan all the same predefined words over and over again. That was the way Hitler took.

The second one is to get to the human being since the day it was born, brainwash it, deskill, cattlize, turn it into an obedient machine, deprive it of the will for freedom, cliché its mind, stereotype it. In this case one wouldn’t even have to marshal it; the cattlized fishhead will go anywhere and do anything its idols tell it to.

America chose the latter way.

With all the dummies that have no will to make the just and human choice, can one really talk about the democracy and freedom and rights? The Milgram experiment was carried out only in America, and even more than that, it was long time ago. The nation’s been improved, and robotized, and cattlized, and turned into obedient and rotten fishheads since then... Money, pillage, looting, sad enough the average American today can’t even do those things on its own. It can only obey and think he rebels but still roll with the Judeo-Masonic policy on the wave of movies, music and pussy-eating.

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By the middle of the 20th century the total amount of Masons in the American lodges (in America) was around fifty millions. Even in the smallest towns, built-up areas of the United States (but not in redneck animal-dumb trailer parks, probably, since there’s no intellect there, only blank eyed creatures with a single nerve operating correctly — that is, masseteric nerve) there are initial cells of the great Masonic organization. Think of this, that’s much more than Christian churches (if you happen to care about those anyway), more than military recruit camps, bigger even than that Wal-Mart national distribution chain. And it is not surprisingly so, that the largest ‘recruiting’ Masonic system is in America, because this is the country that has no past as Europe or Asia have, there isn’t much history and the whole notion of culture is represented by one and the only American subjectively powerful unit, which is the dollar. Money, money, money, money, money... Such a great thing money is, isn’t it?

It allows you to... Ah, I need to be inventive here... It allows you to have your dick sucked every night or any time you want. It allows you to have give charity money to Auschwitz-Birkenau skinny and starving non-white children and feel important, feel great about yourself and let other people praise you as a great humanist, which is pretty much just another form of self-indulgence. And maybe you will have your dick sucked at the end of the charity evening anyway, just because you are so great. The subjectively powerful unit that’s replaced everything else that other non-brute thousands of centuries long nations have. And one can’t blame the average American for being so prone to money, right? Because it’s part of the country, something they imbibe with mother’s milk, more of a reflex than anything else, much like the Pavlov’s dog and its saliva dribble at the scientific bell. And it’s a good thing too, that there are so many Masonic cells in America, because this is the effective — if not the only — way to grow big in the country. Just think of all the presidents, and all the big Jewish entrepreneurs and businessmen like bla bla bla (well, we’ve named enough, do your own research).

As plenty as there are of the Masonic lodges, it would be definitely true to say that they are open for any striving young man who is ambitious enough to make a great political career and — who knows? — maybe become a president of the United States one day. No matter how ambiguous it may sound, there is — in a sense — a feeling of equal opportunity in the United States for those who enroll in one of the Masonic lodges, become loyal members of the brethren and are diligent, ambitious and smart, study hard and achieve great wealth, power, respect (and whatnot) or just drop a bomb on Hiroshima and Nagasaki and melt and turn to dust two hundred thousand little minus-eyed people, just like that, at a finger-snap. Like Brother Truman did.

Yes, Brother Truman, whose political career started in 1909 when he joined the Masonic Belton lodge N450 in Missouri as Entered Apprentice. Young Truman’s career was the one of a quick yet steady progress, he was a nice ambitious fellow with the useful ability of multitasking that let him make ‘career’ at the same time in the York Rite and the Scottish Rite. He probably did not get laid much during that era that stretched for years and

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even decades, but then again — pussy is only (and astonishingly) important for the laymen, the simple working folk who have miraculously turned into fat and flaccid ass office dwellers with all sorts of assistant regional manager positions in our times (God bless America!), and was also a great lecturer.

All of these landed him the Grand Master Mason in 1941 and some other position of the highest Scottish Rite rank that is called “33” and which I find difficult to decipher (or care doing so). So, laymen, you, yes, you, the one reading this article, and paying debts, and working hard for mortgage money or sitting all day round in the office writing all sorts of reports, talking to people on the phone, or chatting, or you, the one who has ambitions and money not to have a job, or anyone else, who likes one night stands or nice and steady sexual relationship, you, never underestimate the things you can do with your tongue, stop being a clean pussy eater and speak up, brother! Together, we can make a difference. (Nah, just kidding, the world is doomed in the funniest but not really entertaining way.) Anyway.

Zionist thinkers and activists). Another duty is of a more mystique yet simple character: Almost every American president, to confirm loyalty to Judaism, regularly acts as a Shabbes goy to his Jewish high-ranking subordinates; since the Jews are forbidden to work on Saturdays — which is called Sabbath, or a day of rest in Judaism — they cannot even blow out the candles on their ritual candle sconces on such days, and thus need assistance of a Shabbes goy; so, sometimes, deep in the night, the president’s motorcade stops by one the houses of his Judaic subordinates, and the head of the American nation enters the house to take part in the ancient rite and blow out the candles.

A Word on the American Satanism Satanism, just like Hasidism has its roots in Judaism. Up until the 18th century it existed and developed as a secret Judaic sect, then it got strong enough to move away and become one of the strongest trends of freemasonry. The Satanic rituals as the ideological core of freemasonry

So, Harry S. Truman was a Masonic president, just like George Washington, James Monroe, Andrew Jackson, James Knox Polk, James Buchanan, Andrew Johnson, James Abram Garfield, William McKinley, Theodore Roosevelt, William Howard Taft, Warren Gamaliel Harding, Franklin Delano Roosevelt, Gerald R. Ford, Jr, Lyndon Baines Johnson. There are others, of course, associated with and subordinate to Judeo-Masons. Just think of the ritual duties that every American president and any major political figure respectfully do. One of those is to visit Israel and genuflect to the Judaic relics, the grave of Theodor Herzl in particular, and to the grave of Ze’ev Jabotinsky in New York (both were major

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were openly declared by such famous Masons as Albert Pike (the Baphomet cult), Madame Blavatsky (Lucifer worship), Aleister Crowley (Antichrist worship).

In the 19th century Eliphas Levi, a Jew of French origin, founded the Satanic sect. He made it clear that black art, the magic, was an infinite source of power, the sort of well that can never be drained and can easily be accessed by employing sodomy and drugs.

Shortly after Levi there emerged another Satanic sect that was ruled by an unfrocked priest Joseph-Antoine Boullan and an ex-nun Adele Chevalier, and was called the church of Carmel.

Bloody and sanguinary rituals, morbid fascination with death have always been a major part of the Satan worshipping sects.

The Satanists have always considered the blood of innocent victims to be the most sincere pledge of allegiance to the Satan, for blood is not only the symbol of life but is life itself, the receptacle of energy, that is released at the very moment of death and can be used for black magic and witchcraft. (Yeah, if you look out the window it’s the 21st century by the way).

So, you know, the Satanists murder toddlers and young naked, gentle skin and sweet breath virgins, take drugs (heroin? cocaine? would they go for, say, Vicodin? or Valium? or X? or meth? or marijuana? or any Shulgin sort of designer drug? or the problem child of Albert Hoffman?), and drink whore piss, and lie in coffins and fuck hollow skulls in the eye-sockets in the frenzy of ecstatic religious enlightenment and illumination, — nothing of it is really remarkable or even worth mentioning (if only for the sake of putting emphasis on what will be said further), because it originated in Europe, just like anything perversed (and exquisite, admit it, as who else would drug up and fuck a skull of the same species to honor the creature, the product of intellectual pondering, the existence of which is much doubtful in sober mind in the daylight — not even a retarded monkey would do that). What really is worth a good laugh is what Satanism became in the United States. Much in the vein of the fuck-me-daddy-i’m-your-whore retrograde thinking. Where the rotten European intellectuals would be writing books and spend heaps of time thinking in between the Satan worship rituals trying to rule out what the Satan is, how they may become superhuman beings of immense intellectual power and enlightenment, the Americans just went all the way for the ludicrous crude folk show. Remember Anton LaVey, for example.

LaVey, who had Jewish roots, produced several pocket books — The Satanic Bible, The Satanic Witch, The Satanic Rituals, The Devil’s Notebook, Satan Speaks! (That’s a lot of ‘Satans’, isn’t it?). In 1966 he proclaimed himself as the founder of the Church of Satan. In January 1967 LaVey held the first Satanic ‘coronation’, in June — the Satanic ‘christening’, and in December of the same year — the funeral.

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Oh man, Europe would have just laughed the whole thing off. But the American newspapers gave it full publicity blast. They covered it all. And in 1970 the church of Satan was taken in the National Council of Churches USA. So, in the Pentagon, among other churches, there was presented the chaplain of the church of Satan that had around a hundred of Satanic chaplain subordinates who in turn served the needs of the U.S. Military.

The Satanism kept developing and getting more and more of public attention. In the United States there were published literally millions of pro-Satanism works in the form of pocket books, easy to understand and digest (you know, the cheeseburger type). And in 1987 the whole thing got to the point when Reagan publicly recognized “the importance of the role of Satanism in the modern American life” and supported the necessity of taking into account the interest of the Satan worshipping electorate.

The Reagan administration adopted a number of resolutions that extended the rights of Satanists. Namely: — Not to discriminate Satanists from being able to be employed for public service, including taking governmental posts; — To let the leading American soothsayers, occultists and necromancers engage in consulting the president; — Not to use any words, phrases or expressions in the public documents that insult the feelings of Satanists.

The American press assessed the new policy of Reagan as a pragmatic step to increase his influence in society.

For some members of Reagan’s cabinet the new decision was a real celebration. As it was reported, four of them got happy wasted and danced right on a table in the government office, animal naked.

Outrageous? Well, ‘ridiculous’ would be the proper word.

Now let us think of something else here. All those murders, piss drinking orgies, and sex, and blood are real, no doubt about that, because human beings are real, and Satanists do really exist, just like blue collars, white collars, and presidents, and Masons, and underage girls, and heroin addicts, and everyone and even everything rest in the world, but what if Satan, the Lord of Evil, the Prince of Darkness, what if He exists, what if He is real?

And Jews betrayed Christ, this son of God, and the JudeoMasons, the Zionist-Masons are — well, undoubtedly, if you are reading this article sober — on the evil side and are in for the real thing, then the six million of most gruesome deaths in World War II (well, arguably most, we should say, if you remember Idi Amin, Pol Pot, and — obviously — Indians, and Africans) make perfect sense.

Perfect sense. In a way, the mass murders of the Jews during the World War II then would be direct evidence to the existence of Satan. No need to frown here and resort to the old and much clichéd loathing and repugnance of Fascism and Nazism. Just think reasonably. There’s an old yet undisproved theory that this world, when it grows too dense in population bursts out in wars, and deathly epidemics, and natural disasters and that sort of things.

And it keeps going in cycles: people build up and then destroy everything and kill each other, and then build

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up again and then kill each other. Unwillingly or at least unconsciously. It is as if the world had its own conscience and would shake off now and then millions of people when there are too many of them.

And if there’s Satan, then he probably has his own say in the world of the ones who betrayed the son of God or simply worship the Lord of Darkness. And Satan cares about them. A lot probably. But in his own Satanic way. Helps them build, in a way, a better society, and have the Jews be on top of it, rule it, and worship him. But the Jews, and the Judeo-Masons, and their kin, breed just like any other human being, they like seeing their children grow, and take over, and be strong and have their own children, and grandchildren and whatnot. And then there’s too many Jews and Judeo-Masons whom Satan has an obligation to put on top of the human pyramid and let them rule and provide prosperity.

Satan has very little concern about what morals or value of human life is (both invented, by the way, either

by God or people in Europe, — depends on what your beliefs are, — hence present no interest to Satan). If Satan determines that a human being has to be dead, then the death can be gracious and easy only by mere accident. And on the scale of six million deaths there is very little room for accidents, and people (why, Jews, and Judeo-Masons, and Satanists are people, aren’t they?) died in unspeakable tortures, horribly tormented, in the Nazi scientific experiments, and gas chambers, while the chic Deutsche Frauen would carry around fancy and fad purses made of human skin, of Judaic skin in many cases.

After World War II was over, in which, by the way, around twenty six millions of Russian people died (almost five times as much the Jews), the Jews got all sympathy and rose back to eminence fast. Real fast.

The National Collapse Much in the vein of how America always butts in the business of other countries thinking it has full right to ‘protect’ the ‘oppressed’ national minorities of other countries, the national collapse is very likely to happen in the United States. This could be a lot of fun. The historical Natives of Alaska, Hawaii, Texas, New Mexico, Florida and a number of other Southern states might rebel and demand to be independent. No matter how funny (or ridiculous) it sounds now, but such outbreaks could have real power, because out there, in the nonJudeo-Masonic world, there are many countries that have enough hatred towards America and will not think twice of whether to support the rebellious national minorities of the USA or not. They will support. They will do anything to split the evil empire that’s been exploiting and exsanguinating them for decades. So, watch out for the heavy Yokozuna type Samoans, and deft Mexicans, and the survival of the fittest type African-Americans running amok and killing everyone, and forming their own sovereign nations on the American territory, and be supported by every single country that’s been abused over years (more than a hundred of them).

The Racial Collapse This one is similar to the national collapse, but the focus here is entirely on the black nation. Even though the African-Americans today make only around thirteen percent of the American population, they are the descendants of the ones who three hundred years ago made it to the American shore in unimaginable circumstances. Remember, only one out of ten survived, and those had to be the angriest, and toughest, and most enduring men, who could break your neck like a dry withered thin reed. What if they rebel, and get up,

“Even though the African-Americans today make only around thirteen percent of the American population, they are the descendants of the ones who three hundred years ago made it to the American shore in unimaginable circumstances.”

Ah, just a little purge by the Lord of Evil to keep his ranks clean and healthy and be able to satisfy the needs of each of his worshippers.

In this light it all makes perfect sense.

Sort of a Conclusion Taking into account everything that’s been said, can (or may?) really America keep going like this and still be dominating the world? There are several approximate scenarios that lots of doomed and miserable (but thinking) people would like or honestly can see in the near future. Consider the scenarios of how America will fall.

and stand up, and get a hundred times more powerful than the Black Panthers thing used to be? This is the 21st century and not the sixties. Today the black domination will be supported by other nations as well, with all the Lehman Brothers type of the American economy, when there’s not much to look forward to, maybe it’s time for other nations to intervene, provided that there’d be a spark of rebel inside America, inside the Judeo-Masonic world. Say, the black race cracks out against discrimination (or maybe they’ll have a massive flashback of the long history of the American slavery), and next thing you know they have support of other countries, including China, and Russia, and Korea, and maybe even Japan (you can never tell what’s going on inside the Japanese mind, they were on the Hitler side, remember?). And should this happen, who really can stand up against the rebels? The army of white saggy ass office folks? No.

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The Financial Collapse The 21st century wasn’t all that good for the USA, when it all started with Enron, every American thought this would not happen ever again, because their government has to protect them, and be just, and fair, and things like that. But then it was UAL Corp., followed by Conseco, Inc., followed by Mirant Corporation, followed by Delta Airlines, Inc., followed by Delphi Corporation, followed by Refco Inc., followed by Lehman Brothers Holdings, Inc, and there were so many bankruptcies in between those, that one is only left to wonder how America with all its unsecured dollars, which in reality do only harm to this planets environment, since they are not (or should not and probably will not be) worth the paper they are printed on. And even though the dollars are green, green trees — were they not turned into lifeless material for the insane American dollar printing — would have been much better. Much better. Many countries are trying now to switch from dollars to other currencies, Euro is strong, but some even go as far as to trade their oil for something that has more substance than dollars. Like food, or some raw materials.

The Economical Collapse This one is very good, because it will sober up lots of people who got used to live in luxury, and style, and enjoy sophistication of the civilized world, and maybe from time to time used to donate money to charity or something (but they are not doing it today, of course). The economical collapse caused by the disparity between the ever growing (surprisingly) American consumerism and this planet’s available resources (which are actually to be spread equally between every person on the Earth... but that’s... well, communism or something... unsuccessful historical experiment, so forget it). So, the American economy is like a top-speed racing car with a deadman behind the steering wheel (this is not political, no matter what person you put as the U.S. President today, even if he has no relation to the Masons, or to “Skull and Bones”, or to anything else that is evil, and at the same time is as clever as Einstein and as just and passionate as Che Guevara, there’s still nothing that can be done, it is not in power of one person... or entire nation); the car can’t keep going forever, a terrible crash is imminent... Also, you do know what consumerism is, right? It’s pretty much all the things you enjoy throughout a day. The things you can live without.

The International Collapse

The Satanic Collapse Which should really be called a purge, but since we are using the word ‘collapse’, so let be it. It’s been over sixty years now that the Jews (Judeo-Masons in particular) have enjoyed much freedom and prosperity, and maybe there’s becoming too many of them, so it could be that the time has come for Satan to butt in and do his little purge. You know, like in the old times, to cut his worshippers in numbers a bit, to have only the strongest, and meanest, and smartest, and the most deceitful, and low survive, to again strengthen the world of darkness.

Because, frankly, there’s a general feeling today that quite a number of Jews have been slacking recently, and Judeo-Masons do not worship Satan as much as they used to, and it’s not the sixties today, and where did all the Satanists go anyway? Where are all the black masses?

America is not Europe, you do know this, and if Satanic orgies and Satanic worships, and child sacrifices, and bloody massacres in the name of the Prince of Darkness are not publicized, then simply there aren’t any. The Lord of Evil is not satisfied, this is obvious. It could be that he’d cast another bloody anti-Semitic carnage wave onto this world to make his worshippers stronger. Because Satan is not humane and why would he care doing the purge in a softer way? On the other hand, we never know when this might happen or if it’s imminent at all. But, together, we could all make a difference. Whoever said that simply because the Jews betrayed Christ they have a right to rule the world? There are nations on this planet that never even heard of Jesus, why do they have to suffer? So, what we could do is join all together — all the goyim (blacks, Asians, white goys etc), everybody who feels oppressed by the Judeo-Masons in an open and obvious or a concealed way — and we could all stand up and start praying to Satan, and let Satan in our lives to take the power from the Jews, because we do know that we are stronger, and we could be a better and stronger army for Satan, and rule the world instead of the Jews. And we did not betray Jesus, so that’s a good note in our resume, right? We are loyal, so Satan would have liked that. Well, that sort of thing.

The Ecological Collapse

Well, there isn’t much to say here. Any survey shows that the majority of the mankind hates America (they do not hate your freedom, and rights, and whatever you think you have, but you actually don’t; they hate the American consumerism that’s driving this planet to collapse, they hate the constant U.S. military aggression, which could have been fair, should America have been a clean and just country, but it is

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not in the first place). Overwhelming majority of nations and people are waiting today for America to fall with the same feeling that was so dense in the Hitler era in non-Nazi countries. In 2002 there was a book published

by Gore Vidal called “Perpetual War for Perpetual Peace or How We Came To Be So Hated”. And the book had insane sales in Europe and other non-American countries, whereas in America it did not do so well. Well, ignorance does not prevent collapse. And it’s too late to be warned anyway.

And finally, ah, my personal favorite, the one I most seriously and sincerely am looking forward to — the 2012 Apocalypse...

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The 2012 Apocalypse

by Kebope Bwana

“The United Nation’s goal is to reduce population selectively by encouraging abortion, forced sterilization, and control human reproduction, and regards two-thirds of the human population as excess baggage, with 350,000 people to be eliminated per day.” Jacques Cousteau, UNESCO Courier, November 1991.

W

hether it is true or not that our mother (or stepmother, if you don’t really go with the Darwin monkey theory) Earth is overpopulated (think of the huge Australian uninhabited plains, or Russia’s vast unpopulated territories, or New Zealand with its four million people against two hundred million sheep ratio), but the idea is certainly set in stone in the minds of the powers that be (read Judeo-Masons). There are too many people for them and they probably are sort of tired (and sick) of having to hear every day they go public, that there are people dying in Africa, and that the Chinese and Korean are too cramped and do not have the commodity of letting out a fart and not having anyone smell it. And so, the natural reaction, the zoological one, is to get rid of the human excess by advocating abortion and sterilization, and unleashing a war now and then (well, why not? — war is not only good for economy and is something to draw quick profits from, but also is what brings people, the sort of human cattle, together and makes them work hard to build up and go through the “war” crisis, and regard the murdered ones as heroes or almost holy sufferers, and all the war effects, bundled together, generally come as good distraction from other problems, like, for example, the 2012 Apocalypse). That’s the simple decision when there are too many people. — Kill them. Don’t dig deep, go simple. Why would anyone invent the wheel, right?

The truth is, by the way, that the Earth is NOT overpopulated. Look around you, certainly there could be squeezed another ten to twenty people, right? There are also private territories with post-no-bills and no-trespassing signs that could take as much as tens of thousands of human beings of any race, age, sex, size. The Earth today can’t really be overpopulated if you think reasonably.

Some times when I wake up at two or three o’clock in the morning to fix a drink and the fridge is empty, I wander out in the streets, in the dark, and there’s nobody out there.

Just nobody, not even stray dogs. There are times when I keep walking for an hour or two without meeting even a homeless guy. The only people I see on those nights are an old insomniac red-eyed sales lady in the local bottle-shop and a utility man with the illegal immigrant status sleeping on a table next to the lady. And I live in one of the largest megalopolises of the world. How overpopulated is that, huh?

Now, on the verge of the global collapse and in the grim shadow of 2012 (which is not grim at all for a whole bunch of people, the failing and decaying personalities, and alcoholics, and junkies, people who have no mortgage commitments or credits, no children, or things to look forward to; these are hilarious times actually) it really is difficult to determine what was the convincing point in the whole overpopulation theory that we, representatives of the non-Judeo-Masonic world and other common folk, bought it. When did we start believing in it? And why? Was it because bearded men in nice and expensive suits and sometimes wearing horn-framed glasses, men with scientific degrees and much indecipherable way of talking said so and then the media picked it up? Or was it because the whole overpopulation thing played to one of our great fears of losing private space and — more importantly — losing all the natural resources and thus having no future for our children (well, that bit about children does not hold valid for me, or any other

person in the Doomsday Dept staff, but anyway)? We can’t really say now.

What we can say, however, is that it is not overpopulation but the global consumerism that is eating up the Earth.

The American consumerism in particular, because that’s where (and that’s how too) the whole globalization process started. Also, it would be absolutely unfair (and wrong) to put all or any blame on the Americans, so we blame the Jews and Judeo-Masons in particular. Globalization is chiefly characterized by incredible excess. It was all fine when it started a bit more than half a century ago, but from that time and up until now many people affected by consumerism (in a good way; what we mean here is the ones who live in civilized countries and have disposable income) got used to it, and the whole infrastructure of the world is built around it, and laws protect it, and we have small businesses and large corporations, all producing pretty much the same products but with different tags on them, the products they need to put in bright shiny packing, and deliver (one needs oil, drilled from finite sources), and sell (one needs all sorts of advertising campaigns with large posters and a multitude of flyers, all coming at the expense of trees) etc. The spread of globalized consumerism sucked in like a black hole so many people that they have very little or plain nothing to do with the Judeo-Masons; the process just can’t be stopped.

Whereas it was initiated by the all time evil, today it’s all over the world, and so on the surf of terrifying and incredible excess we do have people who consume too much (including myself, by the way). And that’s actually what is driving the Earth to annihilation.

And that is also why the Judeo-Masons with their zoological and strictly pragmatic way of life organization feel like slaying masses of unnecessary people rather than trying to do something different. If anything different can be done now. If it’s not too late today, end of year 2008, four years before the Apocalypse.

Because today we annually extract more than one hundred billion tons of minerals from the Earth, smelt more than eight hundred million tons of metals, apply more than five hundred million tons of fertilizers and around three million tons of different insecticides, one third of which gets washed down and ends in the oceans or in the atmosphere. And that’s the least source of pollution to worry about, because you do know about holes in the ozone layer, and how the humvee exhaust pipes pollute the air (and how the electrocar project was killed) and things like that, and we are depleting the Earth (and you already know this and bla bla bla bla bla and yayayayaya), and the process is way out of hand, can’t be stopped, there’s nothing we can do, and we are already past the point of no return, which is on a much smaller scale similar to not pulling out of your young, breathing deeply and lost in pleasure (and approaching orgasm, maybe, who knows) girlfriend, not pulling out and then twenty years later, on a Monday morning, at breakfast, before going to the job you hate to get money for the children you deep down in your heart don’t really care about, responding to the same person’s (who is your old wife now) everyday say, “Could you pass me the butter, darling?” with, “Thanks for ruining my life, bitch”.

You know it’s too late.

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But! — There’s good news! The Earth isn’t going to wait for us to finish raping it. No. It’s going to shake us off in 2012, so Greenpeace and others should just go have some rest, sip daiquiris and throw empty Bacardi bottles wherever they want, because no matter how hard you try you can’t overpollute Earth in four years, and then it’ll all be over, so what the hell anyway.

To think that our Earth, this great big (NOT overpopulated) planet, that gave us birth (well, this may be doubtful, because it was long time ago and there are theories) or at least has been nurturing us for millions of years will suffer from the parasites that we are and will not do anything about it, will not finish us when the time comes (soon), well, this is as ridiculous as it is egotistical and obnoxious.

The Greenpeace people and their kin thinking that they — two legs, two arms, five and a half feet tall average — can save the Earth... They should all be just put in a mental asylum, because they suffer from the worst possible case of egomania, which is more serious and insane than the one of Hitler (at least Hitler wanted to reign over people of the Earth, not the Earth itself).

So, there are things people can’t control, or escape. Things that are more realistic than the depletion of the Earth’s resources. The hilarious things. (For it would be such a big treat to watch the fish-heads and boiled onion heads perish, and see their everyday dreams like raising children, and paying out mortgage money, and going to Dane Cook shows, and millions of other things perish.)

Anyway...

The 2012 Water Catastrophe, the Judaic “Noah’s Ark” Quite a number of experts predict, among other things, that in 2012 there would be a great water catastrophe that’ll wash off of the face of the Earth more than half of the mankind. And I personally find great joy in believing it.

Version One. The Earth today is already undergoing the climate change, and the global warming is taking the ever more increasing and faster pace every hour, so the fine prediction is that by 2012 it will reach the critical point. The Northern Hemisphere will be affected by it the most (well, because it’s North, obviously). The water level, as much as it’s been raising in the recent years (and keeps going up today), will become ever greater and be as close to the prehistoric — well, pre-anything — times as it’s ever been in billions of years. Right about the same time the great catastrophe in the northern part of the Atlantic Ocean will happen, which will be much similar in the act but terrifyingly greater in scale to the December 2004 earthquake in the Indian Ocean that produced the disastrous tsunami bringing damage to and taking away huge numbers of human lives in countries on the Indian Ocean shore.

In the northern Atlantic Ocean, right in the middle between North America and Europe there’s the so called tectonic fissure that will, according to many predictions, produce a tremendous earthquake that will result in an abnormally huge tsunami that can’t be compared to anything ever happened in the history of the civilized world.

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Tsunami, by the way, is basically a bunch of sea waves caused by an upwards or downwards shift of vast areas of the ocean floor as a result of underwater earthquake. The main difference between a tsunami and waves caused by plain wind (no matter how strong the wind is) is in that a tsunami is not local as it affects the whole mass of water from the floor to the surface (whereas wind only ripples the surface). An average tsunami spreads with the speed of around seven hundred miles per hour and is approximately twenty feet high. Which is not high enough to be scary. But when the tsunami reaches the shore, the speed drastically reduces and the waves shoot up in size to as much as one hundred and sixty feet.

This means that if there is an earthquake of at least the same strength in the northern Atlantic Ocean as it happened in the Indian Ocean in 2004, then the ocean floor will agitate the mass of water that is no less than four miles high. The resulting tsunami (inevitable) will rush at the full speed of an intercontinental airliner to the shores of North America and Western Europe. Once reaching the shores the tsunami will break in waves that are up to a mile high.

These Cyclopean waves will destroy the British Isles, the shores of France and Spain, and the East coast of the USA. Version Two. An asteroid will hit the northern Atlantic Ocean.

Not far from the Earth (even around it, in astronomical measures, of course) there are hundreds of space bodies floating around, the prediction of the trajectory of which is a next to impossible task. What is easy to foresee, however, is that any solar activity fluctuation will change the floating orbit of such bodies and at least one of them will hit the Earth, producing the same kind of tsunami as described in Version One. Fun. What if the Earth goes with two blows straight, making the best both of the ocean earthquake and the asteroid, what a nice finishing combination, a deadly knock-out. Double fun.

Whoever survives will die in the dark and grim sorrow of the end of the days.

But that’s not what the Judeo-Masons have on their minds.

Well, not entirely. As pragmatic as they are, they mostly rely on the occultism and probably something they’ve learned from the Bible and other holy books they have. How do I know?

Well, read on...

Remember the “floating city”, or the “freedom ship”, or the “freedom city” — all the three names refer to one great and evidently failing project of building an equivalent of the Noah’s Ark. Freedom City, the largest ship in the history of the Earth that was going to be built by a consortium of sixty European and American companies. (It still is going to be built according to the CEO, CTO and the founder, and whoever else he is, of the project — Norman Nixon.) Freedom City was going to be approximately 1300 feet long, 800 feet wide and rise almost 380 feet above the water level. The displacement tonnage would be three millions. The estimated cost of the vessel was going to be around eleven billion dollars. Freedom City would be able to take onboard one hundred and eight thousand passengers and be powered by ten engines operating on

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nuclear energy. This technologically advanced ark was going to be built by year 2009 or 2010. But it was not, due to various reasons, the main of which, probably, was that the investors (well, let’s put it straight, the rich Jews) could not agree on the financial issues, which is pretty typical, right? — Thinking of the unsecured money in the shadow of 2012. Probably, I don’t know. No matter, why the project started to fail, the fall of the Lehman Brothers definitely finished it, causing the 2012 tsunami type financial crisis all over the world.

What exactly is Freedom City? With such Leviathan proportions, can the vessel really be commercially viable? No, never. Do people that are behind the companies that agreed to invest millions amounting to billions of US dollars in the project know anything about money? Oh yes, they do. They absolutely do.

Why would an ocean vessel even of such monstrous proportion have nuclear energy to operate? The answer is simple — nuclear energy provides it with autonomy. Or would provide were the ship built. And I personally really regret that it wasn’t.

to when a human body starts producing antibodies to kill the evil parasites within it, pure primitive, zoological and uncontrollable action. In this sense, it could be that the Earth is trying to shake us all off, because enough is enough, and even though the majority of the population’s been suffering their entire lives, this was the type of passive suffering and therefore they will die just like the JudeoMasons and the powers that be and other rich fucks, they will perish, be nullified for not being able to fight for the healthier world (which is a much doubtful idea anyway), for not winning and adapting to the absurdly wrong infrastructure of the world as it is today.

So, no matter what behind the Apocalypse is and whether it is a direct result of that the human beings failed to be whatever obnoxious ideas they had in their minds about themselves, there are quite a number of Apocalypse scenarios that even the Jews with all the money they have and the plagiarized (and failed) Noah’s Ark cannot do anything about.

So, here are the scenarios.

What were they hoping for when they were going into the project and investing money? Did they really think that the money they had would let them build this enormous ship, hypocritically call it Freedom City, and live there all cushy and in style while the rest of the world would be dying in the 2012 Water Catastrophe? Remember, that out in the ocean the waves would be no higher than twenty feet and the ship could certainly deal fine with this. It would be only the ones left on the shore that would be facing the imminent and horrible tsunami death.

Did they really think that as the superior and “chosen” ones (and the richest) they could pull the Noah trick, float around and then come back to the shore once the crisis was over (in 2013 maybe), unload their gold and platinum savings and live happily? Who would they have work for them? Whom would they enslave? And how retrograde do they have to be anyway to rely on the Bible stories in the 21st century? Ah, there are just too many questions to answer, and no reasonable human being would probably want the answers, because the Freedom City is so absurd, that I sincerely regret that the project failed.

But it is a direct evidence to that the richest of the world have gone absolutely insane, beyond any reason, in the face of the 2012 Apocalypse.

Other 2012 Things to Worry About There are other things to worry about (for people who worry).

It’s impossible (at least for me) to say what really started the end of the days reaction that will erupt in 2012. This could be that the mankind, being clearly separated in two opposing groups: the evil (you know, the pragmatic money whores) and the ignorant (which is an umbrella for lots of different yet in a sense the same people — the weak ones, the educated pussies who never had enough guts to stand up to the evil ones, the dumb working folk, the ones who don’t care, the ones who hope Jesus will come and save them, and many others). But it could be true that the time has come and there’s something that thinks the time has come — not a higher conscience that is, not in the stupid theological sense at least, — but something of a more zoological sense, similar, for example,

1. The Water Catastrophe that will surprisingly enough hit in the middle of and bring most damage to the populated (but not intellectual) center of the Judeo-Masonic world.

2. The Solar Radiation. Ever since the Sun has been scientifically observed starting from the year 1610, when Galileo invented the telescope, it has been found that the Great Shining Yellow Planet’s been going through eleven year cycles in its activity and radiation power. Over any given eleven-year cycle the Sun would go from the lowest solar activity to the maximum one and then back to minimum. The previous cycle was supposed to end in 2005, the year when the Sun had to be throwing out the next to nothing radiation, the lowest one. Instead, ever since the last cycle’s activity peak the Sun has only been getting crueler. It broke all the eleven-year cycle rules and is not heading back, it is not going to come down, and it only keeps growing ever stronger and violent. The critical point that’ll break any records as well as any human ability to survive it will be reached in 2012, and will fry alive almost any living being on the face of the Earth. Forget about the skin cancer and the sunblock industry. Yeah, and in case you were egomaniacally pondering the idea of living underground the mole style, you are wrong. The humans or other living things are not the only ones the Sun affects. The increase and peak (if there will ever be a peak instead of the horrifyingly constant increase) will affect absolutely everything on the face of the Earth as well as the Earth itself. The effects are impossible to estimate, but among those will be tremendous earthquakes, tsunamis, atmosphere change, ocean and water supply change — well, practically every imaginable and a whole infinite bunch of unimaginable things will happen, each of them having the absolute capacity of kicking the human existence to null.

3. The Interstellar Cloud. The Earth has entered a sort of an interstellar cloud, which is caused by the increasingly agitated state of the Sun. This is an energy cloud that keeps cracking up the Earth’s magnetic field. The field that protects today this planet from the Sun’s radiation.

But already there are huge holes in the field caused by the

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interstellar cloud, hence the growing skin cancer concern which was never an issue some twenty years ago. And not only cancer, the energy is so huge that it — being blind to the human suffers — could simply reverse the Earth’s North and South poles, which will... well, we won’t be there to know what it’ll do to the world. We’ll perish a thousand years before the reversal process will finish. Also, the process is already under its way, and will reach the critical to human existence point in 2012. Hello!

4. The Sixty Five Million Years Cycle. Many scientists, independent from each other, have researched and dug out data that at least three quarters of the Earth’s species are wiped out every sixty two to sixty five million years. It’s been sixty five million years since the last natural disaster put all the dinosaurs to extinction, so the time has come for us.

5. Yellowstone. The world’s most dangerous supervolcano, which coincidentally enough is in America, is predicted to erupt very soon, in 2012 most probably. The last time it erupted, by the way, it crudely ejaculated 218 cubic miles of ash into the atmosphere. If you’d like to know how much that is, then think of the entire United States mainland covered no less than three feet deep in soot and cinder.

Merry Black 2012 Christmas.

The 2012 Rebirth Component The 2012 rebirth idea is as fake, ignorant and egomaniac as the average human being’s need to love, be loved and have children. It is real as a belief, and megalomaniac as an incurable (and untreatable) psychiatric disease. The ignorant, the lying weak ones and the good type weak ones seem to be susceptible to it and suffering from it. Well, let them suffer, as long as it makes them happy. The truth, however, is that there will be no rebirth for the mankind.

And if there were the rebirth, it would come as much a surprise as learning that, say, heroin is not addictive and that LSD proves that each human being is more than an animal and has a soul or anything similarly inestimable and spiritual. And that is not true.

It’s pretty funny to see so many people think that they are more than just lumps of flesh that need to eat at least three times a day, go to the toilet at least once a day, and blow their noses, and do other animal things, and at the same time say things like, “Love”, and “Soul mates”, and “I love my children”, and “I have a vision” etc, and then go back home, after an office job day, and feel they need someone warm next to them, and eat, and drink, and maybe smack some H or watch TV, and have some private space, and then go to sleep, and wake up in the morning, and eat again, and sleep, and fuck and do lots of other things the body feels necessary.

There will be no rebirth. George Orwell and many great philosophers and writers and whatnot tried hard to build a better society, a utopia probably, by making people live with each other in peace and freedom. Reconcile people with each other. Then there was the great LSD outburst that gave lots of people a fake idea, a hope, that they all might have something inside, something non-material and highly valuable, some inner world that’d put them on

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the same divine and otherwise inapproachable level with God (or whatever they believed was God), but it all turned out to be shallow and ruined many great minds like Aldous Huxley, who — on his deathbed — asked his wife to introduce him intramuscularly 100 mg of LSD. There were so many nice drugs — like LSD, STP, Mescaline, Psilocybin, MMDA, MDMA, a huge number of Shulgin substances — that had such big promise, that were such a great lead to what people considered to be a spiritual rebirth, and in the end none of those paid off. What we have today is ecstasy pills consumed in large amounts, and which are a combination of a small amount of various types of designer psychedelics, amphetamine and other dross substance to add the volume. A combination that lets you stay up and high for hours, and then you just go to sleep. There are no great awakenings or visions, psychedelics are just another recreational type of drug today and that’s about it.

There’s nothing inside a human being, all of it is outside and is condensed to the basic everyday needs. The ability to communicate with each other should not be confused with any spiritual essence that does not exist. If there had ever been any slightest possibility of the great awakening, it should have happened some half a century ago with the invention of LSD. But it didn’t happen, which is alright, because accepting the truth is better than having fake beliefs. What it is surprising actually is that so many people today still want to believe that there’s something more to their lives than flesh, and bones, and the hysterical need to eat, shit, and reproduce. Whereas accepting the notion of being animals would just lift so many social obligations and we could wander out there and fuck underage girls and just feel placid and nice and do whatever we want (which includes not having to worry about the Apocalypse).

Also, having so many wars and historical zoological examples of trying to survive by all means, how come so many of you still have that megalomania rotting out the heads? Well, it’s a disease.

So, what you need to know, accept and feel great and easy about is that there isn’t going to be any spiritual rebirth, we are all hollow and shallow animals, and it’s a fine and healthy understanding.

The Chance for the Parasites “I had a vision of a way we could have no enemies ever again, if you’re interested in this. Anybody interested in hearing this?

It’s kind of an interesting theory, and all we have to do is make one decisive act and we can rid the world of all our enemies at once. Here’s what we do. You know all the money we spend on nuclear weapons and defense every year? Trillions of dollars.

Instead, if we spent that money feeding and clothing the poor of the world, which it would pay for many times over, not one human being excluded... not one... we could all as one race explore outer space together in peace, for ever.” Bill Hicks, early 90s.

Needless to say that Bill Hicks loved us, loved all the human beings, even the evil ones (probably). What should be said, however, is that as much and big a notion as love is, there’s no such thing. What the whole idea of love is built upon is animal egoism. Egoism is the same material, the same substance from which both greed and cruel aggression, and the used to be

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eternal and perfect (but not anymore) wish to build a utopia are made. As well as a limitless multitude of other things ranging from child love to being a power freak. The much devoured by today LSD outburst of the sixties brought us nothing but the realization that the human being is as hollow as a garbage bin with no bottom, infinitely empty.

But defy me not, for the human being is still something that’s capable of thinking, there’s no way denying this and why would any? (Rhetorical.)

So, now think. We — well, the stronger and evil ones together with the weaker types, who just observed, and pondered, or provided themselves as uneducated material and very often as cannon fodder — had enough brain to crap the Earth heavily and hop on the power train with the planet annihilation as its final stop. This is pretty smart actually and a great progress if you consider the long way the mankind has come from discovering fire to shooting a man up in the space.

shoot all the garbage up on Mars or some other unfortunate planet, and make the Earth pristine and leave it as the all universal Mecca for the illuminati, this great Israel type center of the tremendously infinite Universe. Fuck your Noah’s Ark Freedom Ship, who needs it today, when we have enough intellect and power to get bigger and more powerful than we have ever been, beyond epical. We beseech you, the richest and most evil ones, scale up and you will have the dividends, you will be rewarded like neither you nor your Baphomet have dreamed of. The entire endless Universe to waste, pollute, eat up, devour, consume, enslave, whatever you want — it will be yours!.. And all it takes is one month of your savings. All of you. Loosen your tight wallets up a bit for the great objective.

If there has ever been a key moment in the history of the mankind, this moment is now.

And today the Earth it getting ready to shake us off by way of a great global catastrophe with lots of natural disasters to orchestrate it in the most luminous and hilarious way, and has quite a number of backup plans in case the first scenario (whichever it will be, we are only left to guess) does not work. Exterminate us like swarming parasites that we are, because enough is enough, and we’ve had our time, and the planet’s got weary and sick, and the doomsday is coming.

But, as blank in the meaning as we are, we are intellectual.

We are capable of reproducing and multiplying like virus.

History shows that in the most extreme and dangerous times we could all come together and act like one (whereas peace and placid life makes us stupid and disorderly).

And what could and should be done today, in the face of the Apocalypse, is to stop chasing the ever increasing objectives of consumerism, pull ourselves together and go straight to the outer space.

Well, honestly, we are addressing and appealing to the Jews, the Judeo-Masons and other rich and evil types (which are a minority compared to the first two groups) right now: Please stop this insane race of consumerism and money stocking for one month. That’s all we need, just one month, and all the money you get in this month — spend it building huge space ships and put whoever you want on these ships (yourselves or the cannon fodder, whatever). Then shoot the ships in the outer space with one objective that is to find new planets easy to colonize and alien races easy to enslave. We still have enough time to pull this off. Imagine, we could spread out in the universe, subjugate, conquer, and subdue billions of other races, humanoid and non-humanoid, whatever, they could work for us, and we could spit on them and transfix them with white-hot nails and spikes just for fun, and do whatever we want, and be superior because we are mean, and cruel, and compassion is a form of egoism anyway, and we could have the infinite universe at our disposal, pollute it as much as we want, reproduce and multiply, and shit. We could leave the Earth for all the waste, turn it into a huge trash bin, or better clean it up, bring enslaved and oppressed aliens to cleanse this planet and

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DOUG STANHOPE the mouth of sanity questions by Skippy Dominguez and Dake Aachen photos by Erik Berg-Johansen

1. Tell us about your childhood. What was it like growing up in Worcester, Massachusetts? High school life? Do your schoolmates envy you now?

Growing up in Worcester is much like this question - rather dull unless you’d didn’t know any better - which I did not. I honestly have very few fluid memories of growing up. So I’m assuming there wasn’t much outstanding, good or bad.

2. What’s the deal with the “out of shit” feeling? Any plans for future?

Vegas, 1990?)? Did you smoke/drink then (on stage?)? Would be cool to have a recording of it or a transcribe if you have it. Or at least some notes of the routine. Was it a success or did you bomb?

Wow, this has turned from an interview into a full biography. Yes, it was Vegas 1990 at a bar called The Escape Lounge II where a very scarcely attended open mic came every Tuesday. We all drank and smoked everywhere back then and I went up with a great buzz and 4 minutes of mostly jerk-off jokes and did what could be considered “well” depending on how much you handicap for “first time on stage.”

When I said that I was out of shit to talk about, I mean so far as anything that seems taboo or risky or challenging to pull off on stage. It seems like I’ve addressed and often re-addressed every topic I am passionate about.

3. You have one brother, right? Is he older or younger than you. What does he do? Does he have a family? Tell us a bit about him.

I have one older brother who is the only guy who is still impressed when something good happens in my career, including myself. He’s a guy who stayed in New England, raising a couple kids and trying to keep a small restaurant open and still gets excited for things I do like television or getting blown by a whore. For me it’s all the same but its fun to watch someone else enjoy it - much like watching Bad Santa with someone who’s never seen it.

4. Your opinion of Sam Kinison?

I liked him when he was around and I was much younger but some of his stuff you go back and listen to - “Fuck Quaddafi!

Bomb that towelhead!” - that kinda shit is extremely pandering to the apes. Still one of the best of his time, no question. But comedy has a short shell life most of the time.

5. Can you tell us about the very first gig you had? Where and when was it (Las

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“I’ve run half-drunk with blinders through this life stumbled down every p and of least resistance, so lo ath as that path remained inng neighborhood of fun...” the

6. Can you imagine a stand up comedian who believes in God? Yes. But I think most stand up sucks.

7. Why did choose to do comedy anyway? Is it a long story?

No, not long at all. Its just something I did that stuck for whatever reason. Nothing I’ve done of any substance in this life have I planned. I’ve run half-drunk with blinders through this life and stumbled down every path of least resistance, so long as that path remained in the neighborhood of fun.

8. Would you like to make a movie with us?

No. Movies are work. Unless it takes as little time and effort as a gig while paying the same or better, I’m in.

9. Financial question: How much do you make per gig (average)? Do your CDs/DVDs bring good residual income?

Now you’re the IRS posing as the author of a very lengthy biography pretending to be a website interviewer. Very clever.

10. Have you ever seen Jimmy Carr doing stand up? Your opinion? (We don’t like him at all).

I don’t know that I’ve ever seen him do stand-up but I’ve met him several times, he’s supported me heavily and in the face of a negative media and always been extremely friendly. And keep in mind, my LEAST favorite comic one whose act made me wretch and cry for the arts - even that guy would see me take his side over the anonymous internet opinion of a

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pro-bono critic. We’ve both danced for our drinks and if you had a middle seat between us on an overseas flight, you’d smell our breath talking over you without you getting a word in edgewise.

I hope that didn’t come off as cranky or cocksuckerish.

13. What do you think of Neil Hamburger?

I love Neil Hamburger. It’s almost like a guy who went out of his way to do something just for comics, who made a whole career just to amuse his peers.

11. Many successful comedians move on to play in Hollywood movies. What about you?

Did you ever think of doing the same?

14. So, are you married or divorced?

No. I can’t act.

15. Do you ever get mail from young and aspiring comedians asking you to evaluate their routine?

12. Naked on stage? We’ve never seen this, so can you reminisce a part of what routine was this?

It wasn’t part of a routine ever. It’s just come up occasionally as something that is appropriate to do. Not lately though, as I am now a fat old man and the whole thing is tired.

I got a gal who’d cry if fucked someone else.

All the time. I either ignore it or I do it when I’m drunk. Most who fit into the latter category wished they’d gone into the former.

16. What’d your advise be to anyone who wants to become a stand up comedian these days?

The only advice I’ve ever got worth passing on is - Never take advice - they’ll only tell you how to be more like them. This goes for giving advice as well.

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17. What’s your favorite brand of cigarettes? Marlboro Lights?

I quit six months ago.

“Sometimes we go to the baseball game at the bottom of the street.

Other times we do mushrooms and lurk around the neighborhood in the dark...”

18. What’s your favorite brand of beer?

Miller Lite.

19. Favorite type of strong alcohol?

Vodka for a mixed drink and I’ll still do Jagerbombs (Jagermeister & Red Bull) on the road but I don’t endorse it.

20. Type of ecstasy pill?

Haven’t found any that wasn’t bunk in many years.

21. Ever had somebody come up to you after a gig and say, “Hey, about this ‘If you are gay and offended by the word ‘faggot’ I will suck your dick after the show’ bit. Well, I’m gay...”?

Yes. At the show or via email from people who find themselves clever.

22. Tits or ass?

A tit probably has more room for error, so over a long enough course of time, I’d say tit.

23. What do you do when you don’t perform? Your typical schedule of an idle gigless day in Bisbee?

Wake up, walk the dogs for half an hour, make a breakfast taco, check these endless emails, run some errands, buy some shit I don’t need at the thrift store, eat lunch, stay on the couch for too long, go write a list of things I’ll never get

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“I technically achieved penetration somewhere around 9 or 10. I didn’t come in a chick until I w a 13. I didn’t become bore s d with fucking until the la st several years...”

done tomorrow, have an early evening beer with the neighbors, watch it spiral into far too many beers, email people drunk - so sure this time is different and they “need” to hear this - take a downer, put on bad television and drift into sleep on the couch.

Sometimes we go to the baseball game at the bottom of the street. Other times we do mushrooms and lurk around the neighborhood in the dark. But mostly, I rest. There’s enough crazy shit on the road. Here we try to stay quiet for a majority (slightly more than 50 percent) of the time.

24. What did you want to be when you were a kid?

Younger.

25. How old were you when you lost virginity? Was it a love story, or just the usual teen running on testosterone experience?

26. Imagine you are on an airship with a jew, a black man and a nine year old kid. The airship starts leaking air and you need to throw out two people to have a safe landing. Who’d you choose?

I technically achieved penetration somewhere around 9 or ten. I didn’t come in a chick until I was 13. I didn’t become bored with fucking until the last several years ( excluding monogomous relationships which kill a boner quicker than Prozac.)

I’d base it on the individuals. But on this weak hypothetical I’d steer towards saving the black guy and the kid, assuming that you only know the jew is a jew because he calls himself a jew, meaning he defines himself by the most base nonsense & trivia.

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27. Can you give a list of all the countries you ever performed in?

29. What jobs did you have before you went stand up full time?

Can you produce a list on people who give a fuck? Let’s assume you can.

Fraud telemarketing mostly, with short stints as a collection agent, dishwasher, donut maker, convenience store clerk and other random shit.

USA Canada Korea Japan Mexico Australia Great Britain Ireland Scotland Netherlands 28. Did you graduate any college? What’s your education?

I graduated 9th grade and quit shortly into the 10th.

30. Did you ever write short stories or articles and have them published?

Not to speak of.

Listen, I gotta go now. I got my shit in the dryer and someone’s waiting to use it. Thanks again for this and I hope I didn’t come across as a cunt.

Visit Doug’s website: www.dougstanhope.com

austincomedytrainwreck.com

Acting, a Dying Art

by Winston Kane

Acting used to be an art form. To act meant to have talent. It was to perform, to entertain, to convince an audience and to draw them into a story.

Today’s dramas are acted by nobodies. The ‘cool’ character in a movie will be a random black dude or a high-school jock in a bomber-jacket. And if you want a comedy, brace yourselves…

But that’s all gone out the window.

Steve Carell is a ‘comedic actor’. Jim Carey is a ‘comedic actor’. Adam Sandler is a ‘comedic actor’. All these fuckheads do is prancing around in front of a camera like spastics. The art of comedy has been destroyed and replaced with a big pile of flaming crap. Literally; in Billy Madison, Adam Sandler goes to a neighbour’s doorstep to ignite a bag of shit he throws there. Is that supposed to be funny? I find it insulting. It’s like a big crack in the face with a stupidity stick.

Nowadays acting just means behaving like a retard in front of a camera. There’s no conviction.

There’s no belief. There’s no drawing an audience into a story. Acting and television have become an outlet for people who want to act like their brains have short-circuited. No longer can you find a convincing and dramatic performance from Marlon Brando, Al Pacino or Robert Duvall. Gone are the days of a smooth John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson movie. And if you want a clever, quick-paced comedy such as that of John Cleese, you can forget it.

To the readers in the ... United States of America ... — fuck you. This is your fault. If you compare American comedy with, say, British comedy, you can see who is responsible for this transition into retardation. A perfect example of this is The Office. Originally, this was a British T.V. series broadcast by the British Broadcasting Corporation (BBC), written by Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant. It was hilarious. Jokes were subtle and inferred, and therefore funnier. The show assumed that as a viewer, you possessed common sense and an at least basic understanding of the English language. It respected you.

Then, for some reason, an American version was made. It starred that asshole Steve Carrel and it was written by I don’t give a fuck. Upon watching the first episode I felt like I was being struck with the verbal monkey-crap that the show was flinging at me. I actually felt my I.Q. drop — I’d tell you how much by but I was too stupid to understand what an Intelligence Quotient was at the time.

It was like talking to that annoying person you inevitably meet at a party. The one who will tell you a joke that’s shit to begin with, and then explain it to you when you look at him like you’re going to vomit. I punch this person right in the face.

Jokes were made so blatantly obvious and everything was so stupidly spelt out. It’s like Steve Carrel was saying to me underneath that gay haircut and with those

beady eyes “Attention viewers. A joke is about to be made. If you would kindly pay attention, I shall deliver it to which you can reply appropriately. The appropriate reply to a joke…”

Steve Carrel would not be able to explain that the appropriate reply would be a laugh, because by this point I would have broken his Pinocchial (it’s a word now) nose with a speeding fist.

Reality T.V. is like the anus of show business. It’s ugly, it stinks, and everything that comes out of it is just plain shitty. Reality T.V. takes the stupidity stick that Adam Sandler attempted to beat me with, wraps a chain of retardation around it, and then gets to swinging.

I hate people who like Steve Carrel.

Reality T.V. works because of the fact that your life is uninteresting. Why the fuck would anyone watch 200 kilo fatties running around on an exercise camp? Is it supposed to be motivational and uplifting? I bet not, because the only people who watch The Biggest Loser are fatties themselves. They’re not interested in losing weight, they’re interested in doing something simpler.

Exercising is hard, but watching people isn’t, so doing so helps to lessen their guilt about being able to contain three of me within the space of one of them.

If other people are being watched losing weight, it makes them feel like perhaps they can too.

No, fuck it, I hate Steve Carrel too. If I have to hear him uttering that really fast gibberish again, like that’s a sketch, I’m flying to ... America ... to assassinate this motherfucker.

The difference is that the T.V. fatties aren’t sitting in front of a T.V. watching other fatties losing weight.

They are actually exercising to lose weight themselves.

What happened to movie stars being attractive?

People used to complain about the media depicting unnaturally beautiful people. Notice how the complaining has stopped? Why? Why aren’t there still beautiful people all over my movies and T.V. shows? Now I’m watching movies and have to put up with the aesthetical shortcomings of Seth Rogen and the fat chick he has sex with in Knocked Up...

Big Brother always stumped me. When I first heard of it I thought it sounded interesting. It would be a good way to make psychological observations of behaviour, and to how people react when under constant surveillance. Besides the fact that Orwell already explored this through Nineteen Eighty-Four, it would still be interesting to bring this to people visually rather than verbally, and in a more real-life circumstance.

Perhaps Steve Carrel isn’t the right person to direct my anger at. I mean after all, he is making a lot of money by entertaining people. Not me personally, I can write my name and count to ten all by myself, but there are people who watch the show. I guess it isn’t Steve Carrel’s fault after all; it’s his fucking idiotic viewers.

All I’m saying is that if you’re going to be viewed on a big screen by half of the world, there should be a clear distinction between your chin and your neck. There shouldn’t be some ambiguous area where you can kinda see your chin and kinda see your neck but it isn’t really either one. If you have a gullet, stick to Reality T.V., the haven for those who can’t make it in showbiz.

But, the producers went and fucked any intelligence that they could right out of the show when selecting a sample.

Listeverse.com listed their Top 10 Ugliest Male Celebrities. Some of these included:

If the ‘contestants’ on Big Brother are supposed to represent a microcosm for society, I no longer want to live in it. All Big Brother became about were guys walking around shirtless so that the nation could see the bodies they’ve been working on, and girls being so air-headed and flirtatious that they might as well have held a neon sign above their vaginas which flashed “OPEN”.

— John Heder, — Lyle Lovett, — Steve Buscemi, — Michael Jackson, — that Rocky Dennis kid from Mask.

Big Brother was not a flop of a show, however. It made many seasons and had many viewers sending in their little SMS votes to make sure they save whichever “housemate” was their favourite. That is the sad part.

If someone who looked like Michael Jackson existed a hundred years ago, he would have been killed. Is he only half human? Is he even half human? I’m waiting for a Reality T.V. show to take on ... Jackson ... It’d be part Fear-Factor, part Mind-Freak, part Planet of the Apes… you get where I’m going with this.

I have decided that if people will not only watch that shit, but pay 55 cents to send a text message vote to it, then I can definitely make a show of my own.

Doomsday Department Magazine | www.doomsdaydept.com

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Reality Show Rejects In this show, contestants will arrive at a selected venue to audition for a reality T.V. show. The show that they are auditioning for will change each week. For example, one week it might be a new singing show, another a dance show, another an obese people’s show, etc.

When contestants arrive at the venue they will queue up, as is the normal manner with shows like this, and wait before being allowed to enter one at a time through a small door.

Once entering the door, the contestants will find themselves in a small dark room. After a couple of seconds, the lights will suddenly turn on and I will be made visible standing before the contestant. After they see me, they will get a quick blow to the head before being dragged out of the room and thrown onto a pile of the other unconscious contestants through the back door.

Not only is this show entertaining, but it serves a purpose.

1. It is punishing idiots who have ever been on Reality T.V. or who want to be on Reality T.V. 2. It will begin to decrease the amount of Reality T.V. shows already in existence, as contestants/participants will be too scared to audition for the fear that the show is mine.

Now, I know that the small minded audiences who watch Reality T.V. bore easily, so shows are forced to insert a weekly surprise (intruders, homosexuals, a rape, etc.). Do not worry, Reality Show Rejects has this covered.

There can be guest appearances, like Mike Tyson replacing me for an episode or Ellen DeGeneres being in the contestants place. There can be seasonal episodes, like me wearing a Santa hat for the Christmas Special. And for a whole episode once a month, the contestants can consist entirely of past Reality T.V. stars.

Don’t worry, each episode will be “The best Reality Show Rejects yet!”

The show will also be interactive. Between commercial breaks viewers can SMS what move they would like to see me do to a contestant.

All they have to text is their name and the move, and they will have that move executed with their name at the bottom of the screen.

All for the low price of $5.55 a text.

While we’re speaking about the destruction of acting, there’s a topic that must be brought up. You probably know it, and if you’re male 46

chances are you’re fond of it. Ladies and Gentlemen, I’m talking about Pornography.

The beauty of porn is that you do not need to be an actor to star in it. In fact, it’s better if you aren’t. The best pornstars are usually addicted to meth and are desperate for their money.

No-one sucks dick better than a chick whose next meal (or hit) depends on it.

I’ve been watching porn for a good two decades now, and over the years I think I’ve developed enough expertise to write my own scripts for it.

These are some common storylines for pornography: The Classroom #1 A male teacher is sitting in an empty classroom.

There’s a knock on the door before an emotionally distraught teenage girl walks in upset about her marks. The teacher (who is you — this is why you never see his face) explains that the mark isn’t that bad and that he can’t change it, no matter what.

But the mark will change.

The girl starts touching herself in places that shouldn’t be touched in the classroom, and when queried explains that she’s ‘working on her extra credit’.

Then the sex follows.

The Classroom #2 You are suddenly 17 again and in a classroom. You’re joking and laughing with your mates, when your ridiculously hot teacher says from behind her desk, ‘Hey Jonny, stop mucking around’. You continue fooling around anyway before your teacher tells you off again. This time she says, ‘I’ll see you after class’ and winks at you. You slap your mate a hi-5.

Then the sex follows.

Bang-Bus.com These motherfuckers are gangsters, and they have a few different plots. This is my favourite: They see a girl on the street standing around cardboard boxes. Out of ‘the good of their own heart’ they offer to help the lady move, as they do have a bus. The ridiculously hot lady for some reason accepts their gracious offer, and they load her obviously empty cardboard boxes into the van.

On the trip they convince the girl to repay one of them in sex.

Doomsday Department Magazine | www.doomsdaydept.com

But the best part is the ending:

The Milf Hunter

The guys throw the chick out on the street in some random location, then drive off, chucking her shit out of the back of the bus.

This dude is the bomb when it comes to making porn. He finds a random on the street, sweet talks her with his camera-wielding buddy, then goes and fucks her (usually at her own house). This guy has sweet positions and in case you get bored or blow too early, he tells a few jokes.

Classic.

My Sister’s Hot Friend For some reason you go to your sister’s house (which she is sharing with a hot chick who just sits around in a slut’s uniform wearing no panties) to find she isn’t there. You decide to get friendly with her roomie, and consequently you get to fuck the shit out of her.

Nice.

Naughty Maids

The Milf Hunter is the exception to pornstars being bad actors. Every time I watch a movie of his, I feel the conviction, the belief, the power.

Television is in its dark ages. Unless they start playing classics, porn, or my show, T.V. seems like it may never see the light, no matter how high you set the brightness.

You hire a chick to clean. She lowers her standards further for a couple of hundreds.

Winston Kane is a writer from Australia Check out his page: http://www.myspace.com/winstonkane Doomsday Department Magazine | www.doomsdaydept.com

artwork by Skinny Gaviar

And last but definitely not least, my favourite:

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MUSIC REVIEW | by Skippy Dominguez

Nothing much to review these days, although join my ass and wait for the promising release of Sweden’s fine hard rock trio Freak Kitchen called “Land Of The Freaks”.

They say it is worth waiting for. And I have no reasons at all to not believe the guys as each FK album is always a master-fuckin’-piece.

Release date: End of 2008 Stay tuned. www.freakkitchen.com

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Doomsday Department Magazine | www.doomsdaydept.com

BOOK REVIEW | by Dake Aachen Brian “Head” Welch’s “Save Me from Myself” “God is so cool”, actual line from the book.

Everybody who is or has been into heavy music knows that Brian Welch is former guitarist of Korn and has recently published autobiography, the main topic of which is, “How I [Brian “Head” Welch] found God, quit Korn, kicked drugs, and lived to tell the story”.

Making fun of Head today and his conversion sets every even non-sophisticated (let alone the heavy intellectual pretenders, who read Dostoevsky or Kundera) reader’s teeth on edge, much like lashing out at George W. Bush Jr., Fred Durst or Michael Jackson leaves one with a dry mouth. So, we are not going to do this, instead we’ll give you a couple of plain facts — assuming that you already know the gist of the book, which is built (sadly enough on the real life, otherwise this would have just been a piece of terrible and cheap fiction) after the pattern of what seems to be almost every rock star’s life — troubled childhood, loneliness, discontent, love and talent for music, drugs and orgies; but Head’s life takes a “surprising” turn of conversion and believing in God (which is so “trippy” as it was put in the book) — and put it numbers: the word “Jesus” is mentioned 62 times in the autobiography, and the word “God” — 375 times, which sums it all up.

Head admits that he has “never written anything in my life, unless you count the school research papers I did to keep my teachers and parents off my back”, so this explains the whole god-is-so-cool-and-trippy style of the book. What it fails to explain, however, is that why only people like Head and the likes seem prone to conversion.

Albert Hoffman, the Swiss scientist who discovered LSD and was the first man on the face of the Earth (and presumably in the Universe) to try it, never went as crazy about it as the poorly educated hippies.

So, the basic point is, the more you learn, the more talented you are, the less meaning there is for you in religion, and consequently, the greater your will power and freedom are. You know, have some intellect.

And also, in case you might have forgotten to what particular substance Head is referring to in the “How I... kicked drugs” phrase, it is meth. Now, imagine if you were a presumably clean human being and were trapped

by Nazi scientists during the Third Reich as a lab rat, and were forcedly presented with only two options: to go through heroin addiction or through meth addiction for the sake of the scientific research and experiment, — which one would you choose? That’s right, meth. For meth is not as psychological a nightmare as heroin is (let alone the feverish physiological aspect of heroin that meth addiction simply does not have)... So... Head “kicked drugs”, alright, good for him.

The “Save Me from Myself” book was also published as a “clean” edition for kids under the title “Washed by Blood”, which is exactly where it belongs — the nice niche of children’s books.

How come we always hear stories of people like this particular author or that WWE Lex Luger guy, who also went heavy on drugs and then turned to Jaysus and finally started feeling good, and placid, and accomplished? Ah, simple minds, but what about other people who’d been of greater benefit for the mankind? People like Herbert Spencer, an English philosopher, who contributed to quite a number of topics that range from evolution to human psychology and had the habit of taking a certain dose of morphine, never increasing the dose, never going crazy about it; or Wilkie Collins, who wrote brilliant novels while addicted to laudanum; or Charles Baudelaire, who used laudanum, smoked opium and did so much alcohol that he suffered a massive stroke and got paralyzed; or Paul Verlaine, who gave in to absinthe; or Thomas de Quincey and his book “Confessions of an English Opium-Eater”; or Paracelsus, who in the 16th century contributed to philosophy, medicine, toxicology, psychotherapy, and combined high doses of alcohol with hard working; there are others as well. — How come none of these people resorted to the escapism of Christianity, but kept working and innovating, pushing the boundaries until they died?

Or if you’d like to have a couple of examples from the music industry at hand, here they are: — Al Jourgensen of Ministry went crazy on drugs and as result had his toe removed, because a contaminated needle dropped in his boot and infected the foot; he still was able to quit heroin by sheer power of his will (or because he just go sick of it); — John Frusciante of the Red Hot Chili Peppers did so much heroin (also cocaine, alcohol and other drugs) that got a lethal oral infection and had all of his teeth removed to survive; still did not resort to the old Jaysus story.

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meet

SATAN

questions by Skippy Dominguez and Dake Aachen photos by Norman Wilkerson

Do you believe in God and all that crap?

I guess it depends on what you mean by “believe in God”. If you’re asking whether or not I believe he exists… Look. I’m Satan. I’ve met the prick. Actually more than just met him… He’s my father. Thought everybody knew that. Now, if you’re asking whether I “believe” in him like “Hey, God. Don’t give up, buddy.

I believe in you!”… Sorry. There’s guy’s proved himself to be a total disappointment too many friggin’ times to ever put my faith in again.

For how long have you been doing comedy?

What were the first gigs like? Any protests from Christians?

I only just started doing comedy about a year ago. Not sure why it took me so long to get around to it, either.

I mean, I’ve always been a funny guy. Guess I’ve just been busy doing other stuff. As you probably know, in addition to being a pretty good fiddle player, I’ve spent a lot of time over the years finding and developing promising young Blues musicians. I’ve also dabbled a bit in law. I’ve got some pretty good ideas about Tort reform, not that anybody’s asking. I mean, you buy somebody’s soul, there’s their signature right there on the dotted line, it’s should be yours, right? Anyway, I’m starting to get off on tangent. What was the other question? Oh yeah, Christians… Nah, they haven’t really discovered my latest career yet. But trust me, they’ve given me nothing but grief in the past, so I expect it’s just a matter of time. Christians are funny. They’re all about promoting evil when it’s their particular brand of evil. But let anybody else try to get into the game and they’re all over them like stink on shit.

How old are you?

Who even knows? We didn’t really even think about “time” until humans came along. I guess it wouldn’t be technically correct to say time didn’t exist before people, it’s just that nobody thought enough about it to come up with ways to measure it. I’m fucking immortal. What do I need a calendar for?

Is it ok to ask you your real name? If it is - what’s your real name?

Again, who even knows? I didn’t have or even need a name until folks started feeling a need to personify their fears. Since then I’ve been called all kinds of names. Lucifer, Old Scratch (that’s one of my favorites.), Prince of Darkness, although I guess that’s more of a title than a name… In the end it don’t really matter. It’s not like I need one for my Social Security card or something.

Do you have any other job(s)?

Oh, hell yeah. I kinda already covered some of this in the second question, but like I say, I’ve been a talent scout, part time lawyer, fiddle player… I’ve also been a political adviser, I’ve served on the board of directors

for numerous corporation, and also as a staff writer on several hit TV shows. And of course, I run Hell.

Which is pretty much a full time job in itself.

What does your mom think of your acts?

Never had a mom. My dad, however, is pretty pissed off about everything I do. I haven’t talked to him in eons, so I couldn’t really tell you what he thinks about the comedy specifically. But I can pretty damn well guess. Still, it ain’t like I’m sitting around worried about it. The prick cast me into a lake of fire, fer chrissake. He pretty much lost the right to tell me how to live after that.

Shall we expect apocalypse in 2012 or is it just another false hope for all the life-haters?

Sure. Go ahead. In fact, expect the Apocalypse whenever you want to. 2012 is completely arbitrary, of course. But, the Apocalypse is coming. It’s coming for every man, woman and child living today, just the way it already came for every man, woman and child who ever kicked the bucket in the past.

Humans have been in a constant state of apocalypse since the moment the first monkey became aware of his own mortality. That’s what Christians and all the other religious nuts never got and never will get.

They’re like a bunch of annoying fucking six year olds in the back seat of the car incessantly asking, “Are we there yet? Are we there yet?” The Apocalypse is individual. When you die, you die alone. Doesn’t matter if death comes gently to you while you’re lying comfortably in bed after ninety seven years, or if it rains down on you from above in the form of a nuclear holocaust that destroys your entire planet.

You think some guy who got hacked to pieces by Attila’s advancing hoards was any better off for because he didn’t stick around for the End of Days?

Dead is fucking dead. And the implication in the way you worded the question is totally right on. People who spend all their time consumed with when and how the end will come are fucking morons. You’ve only got a handful of decades on this planet, less than that if you’re living right. So quit worrying about dying and enjoy the fucking ride.

Do you have wife / kids?

Never married, never will be. I love women, but they’re a pain in the ass. As far as kids go, sure, hundreds of them. But, lately every time I knock some girl up, the goddamn Pope send out his henchmen to kill the little bastard. Like I care!

Sometimes, for shits and giggles, I’ll mark some random kid with a “666” on the back of his little noggin, just to watch his parents freak out. By the way, can everybody just stop it with the “666” thing?

It’s a fucking number. Means nothing to me. Some crazy fucking guy has a weird dream, writes about it, the Christians think it’d make a great ending for their book, and now everyone thinks it’s my Social Security number or something. Give it a fucking rest already.

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What kind of music do you like? Slayer, perhaps?

I see where you’re going with this. Slayer, Metallica, Led Zepplin… Fucking Black Sabbath? Right? Look.

I’m sure all those guys are really really talented and stuff. They’re just not my cup of tea. And it’s not that I don’t appreciate all the attention that the Heavy Metal crowd has given me. But they got no idea who I am or what I’m about. They’re as clueless as the Christians.

Probably because they got all their notions of who I am from the Christians. Like I say, I’m partial to the Blues.

And I’ve always had an interest in good fiddle music. I fucking LOVE Sinatra. God damn, that kid could sing.

I also really like that band Hanson. That Mmmm-Bop song makes me grin like a retarded monkey every time.

Who are your favorite comedians? Do you like Doug Stanhope?

Absolutely! Stanhope is probably the best comic of his generation. It’s why I try to work with him whenever I can. Louis CK is great too. Love his little films and stuff on YouTube. You seen that one he did about how the Catholic Church is just a big scheme to fuck little boys?

Priceless! Jim Jeffries, he’s another one that I can’t get enough of. Basically I like comics who celebrate life and know how to live it. Did I mention Attell? Plus there’s a bunch of guys you probably never heard of that I love.

This kid Lucas Molandes, comes out of Austin, keep an eye on that funny little Spick. He’s gonna be huge some day. Glenn Wool is another. He’s probably better known in England than he is in the U.S. The guy has the single funniest line I’ve ever heard. I’m not gonna quote it, ‘cause I don’t wanna steal his thunder. But, it’s a great bit about how dirty words have lost all their punch these days, so folks are gonna have to come up with really offensive phrases to pick up the slack. I can’t do it justice. Just see him if you get the chance.

Is the real reason you wear a mask of Satan your absolute creepiness, ugliness and nerdiness or is it a sincere self-expression?

Mask? What mask? I’m capable of taking many forms.

The one I take on the comedy stage is the one I assume most people will recognize.

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Imagine you’re in the movie “Saw” and to save your life you have to either: A. Strangle Dane Cook with your hips; B. Cut off Dane Cook’s head with the use of tiny plastic scissors; C. Make Dane Cook fistfuck himself right in the middle of one of his sold-out gigs; Choose one answer and explain your choice.

First of all, Dane Cook is a client of mine. Second, isn’t bashing on Dane getting to be a bit hack by now.

The guy’s a success. He has millions of fans. Is his act a bit vapid at times? Sure. Do I find him to be funny? Doesn’t matter. It’s what bugs me about humans, and why I hate Christians in particular. They think they have to destroy everything they don’t like.

“I don’t think this guy is funny, therefore he’s ruining comedy.” Bullshit. “But he stole jokes from Louis CK!” Yeah? Like you never stole anything! What the fuck do you care? If Louis CK has a problem with Dane, let Louis deal with it. Otherwise, it’s none of my business. People get that way over Carlos Mencia and Larry the Cable Guy too. Leave Larry alone. Rednecks got a right to laugh at someone just as much as you do. Sorry if I’m starting to rant here, but I’m just tired of the “holier than thou” attitude everybody has about some comics. It’s entertainment. If you don’t find it entertaining, find something that you do. Life’s too short to worry about what other people find joy in.

Tell about your worst gig.

If you’re asking about comedy, they’ve all been pretty good so far. No complaints. Other than that, my worst gig was probably that fiddle contest in Georgia.

Never shoulda bet my golden violin on that one. And I definitely shouldn’t have played a Disco number. I just figured, you know, it’s the Seventies… I mean, even the Stones where doing Disco at that point. I guess I just didn’t realize just how far behind the cultural bell curve those bumkins where.

Do you think Barack Obama has a stupid name?

(We do.)

I think most names are kinda stupid. I guess his is unusual. But, fuck it. It’s not like the U.S. has been doing so great with so called “normal” named presidents. The only thing that bugs me about Barack is his pandering to Christians. I guess you sorta have to to get elected in that shit-bag country. But c’mon.

Obama is waaaay too bright to buy into all that God stuff. Or maybe he isn’t. I don’t know.

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What is your ultimate goal in life?

To get you sorry fucks to quit chasing your superstitious tails and start living your lives. You kids spend all your time trying to find answers, worrying about the future and obsessing about what your neighbors are up to. Everybody needs to just relax and have a good time. I know I keep saying it, but Your lives are short.

You can’t possibly fit all the fun and enjoyment there is to be had into them. So quit worrying about placating some god whose nature you couldn’t ever possibly understand. And quit worrying about who’s the biggest asshole on your block. Get out there and have good time.

Find a drug you like. Get some pussy (or cock, if that’s your thing) and enjoy.

What’s the longest period you can stay sober? (Or do you only drink at gigs?)

I guess I could “stay sober” for as long as I’d like.

But why? What’s the up-side to sobriety? I mean, don’t get me wrong. I don’t wake up and start drinking every day. I got shit to do. But why not get a little goofy, have fun and make a few mistakes at the end of the day? Life’s a lot more interesting when you lose control every now and then. Just don’t get too drunk to get it up. That’s the real danger. Sex, especially drunken sex is infinitely more fun than just being drunk. So you gotta make sure you got enough blood pressure to make things happen down there.

Are you baptised?

Does that whole “Lake of Fire” thing count?

I never quit being amazed at all the little spiritual hoops you people are willing to jump through to make my old man happy. “Hey, could you guys start splashing water on your babies’ heads for me?” “Sure thing God. Anything else?” “Uh… Yeah, How about you eat a shitty tasting wafer and take a sip of vinegar while pretending it’s my dead son, that’d be a hoot!” “Sounds good.” “Oh… And cut the skin off the end of your pricks.” “You got it!” Christ, you guys are pathetic sometimes. I mean, it’s bad enough all the great stuff you deny yourselves just to make the prick happy. Now you gotta do a bunch of stupid meaningless extra crap on top of it? Look. If you smell bad or something, take a bath. It’s hard enough to get a little pussy now and then without smelling like a hippy’s ass-crack. Just don’t go around thinking a little water’s gonna make God forget what an uptight prick he is.

Imagine a black muslim midget, a white christian midget, the Christian God, Allah, Jesus and Satan meet one day in the purgatory... Can you continue the story?

No. First of all, in Hell, everybody’s black. Flames have that effect on human skin. So already we’re down a white Christian midget. Second, God and Jesus can’t be bothered to stop jerking each other off long enough to prevent an Tsunami from wiping out the Indonesia. You seriously think they’re gonna come to one of my little parties. Also, Allah and “the Christian God” are the same guy. So you’re premise is already kinda fucked right there. Now, the black Muslim midget… Sure, I can imagine him in Hell. We get those every day. Personally, I think sending a midget to Hell is kinda double jeopardy. I mean, they’re lives were hell on earth. You’d think God would throw them a bone when they kicked it. But like I’ve said.

God’s pretty much a prick. Think about it. He makes some poor slob be born a midget, then doesn’t let him into Heaven ‘cause he came up a little short?! Hey. That’s gold! Gotta remember that one for my act. Anyway, I know you were hoping I’d make up some joke about it like one of those “Three guys walk into a bar” type things. But that ain’t my style of comedy. I more the one-liner type. Have you even seen my act?

http://austincomedytrainwreck.com http://www.myspace.com/comicsatan 54

Doomsday Department Magazine | www.doomsdaydept.com

In the next issue: a whole bunch of witty shit AND a huge fuck-off interview with

MACAULAY CULKIN