Its Your Day - Divorce Handbook 2

from Divorce Handbook - Vol. 2

by KIDS FIRST PARENTS SECOND

Divorce Handbook

Litigate

Divorce Handbook

The Top Four –

Things You Need to Know

1. How much is my divorce going to cost?

A contested divorce in the State of Texas on average costs an individual a total of $23,000.00.

2. How long is my divorce going to take?

A contested divorce in the State of Texas will typically take at least 13 months, from date of filing to date of divorce.

3. Are there options to avoid court?

Absolutely, you have the option to litigate, mediate or collaborate. You need to understand your options before starting your divorce.

4. Will my case go to trial?

Typically, cases are referred to mediation PRIOR to being set for trial. Cases that are referred to mediation have a 90% chance of reaching a successful conclusion.

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Is there a choice in how I divorce?

You have the ability to choose how you will divorce. You can simply reach an agreement, you can litigate, mediate or collaborate. Each choice carries with it different short and long term benefits. Each choice carries with its own separate set of challenges.

When Should I choose litigation?

Its important to remember that the original purpose of litigation centuries ago was to provide a manner and means by which a wronged person can seek relief in a court of law. Litigation allows for parties to seek final resolution of their dispute and to allow parties the ability to peacefully part ways.

Historically, divorce cases had to fit within the parameters of the litigation model. Why? Because it was the only model in town. Mediation and collaborative divorces started about a few decades ago. So, while litigation is the more familiar choice there are clearly alternatives to the divorce process. The options you have in your divorce are different than the options of your parents, grandparents, aunts or uncles.

Easy pick: It’s easy to see why many pick litigation as their initial choice to resolve their divorce. Litigation allows places control of the process in the hands of an attorney who is charged with advocating for your rights. L

So is litigation the wrong choice? Not necessarily. Litigation may be your only choice. In saying that it’s important that litigation is your BEST choice. Your choice, after all, will carry short term and long term effects.

Litigation may be necessary when there are no other options to resolve your dispute.

There may be family violence, emergencies, fraud, misrepresentations or other wrongful conduct that requires a court’s intervention.

Litigation will mean having the contested issues in your case decided by a trial judge who will make rulings based upon the evidence of the parties and argument of counsel.

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Litigate or Mediate

You need to empower yourself before you take your next step. Mediate or Litigate. A simple question, but your answer will impact you both in the short and long term.

If Ninety Percent of cases settle at mediation, isn’t it simple to assume I should be mediating, not litigating my divorce.

Hurt feelings, anger and mistrust are the key impediments to starting the divorce process through mediation. The divorce process clouds the normal relationship you had with your spouse to the point where you may not even recognize who this person is anymore.

The litigation and mediation paths intersect at various times during the divorce process. When is it right to know when to decide?

Assess the Situation

Spouse’s need to understand that the choice to litigate or mediate is not only their choice, but it is their spouse’s as well.

For example, if you feel that you can successfully communicate with your spouse in a neutral and transparent matter, your choice to mediate at the onset of the divorce may be a wise choice PROVIDED your spouse wants to act in a similar fashion.

There may be family violence, emergencies, fraud, misrepresentations or other wrongful conduct that requires a court’s intervention.

Review Costs and Benefits

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Costs of Litigation

Loss of Control: Litigation will mean having the contested issues in your case decided by a trial judge who will make rulings based upon the evidence of the parties and argument of counsel.

Expense: Litigation carries with it great financial and emotional expense. Litigation will impact your happiness, your spouse’s happiness and most importantly, your children’s.

End of Relationship: If your goal was to distance yourself from your spouse through litigation. It most likely will be a successful endeavor. If your goal was to co-parent, you will mostly likely find that the litigation process did nothing but frustrate and destroy that opportunity.

Benefits of Litigation

You had no other choice: There was no other option. Litigation was needed because there was an emergency, a breach in trust or a bad act.

Necessary Evil: It’s Not Ripe Yet: Your spouse may be too angry, you may be too angry to sit down and work through the issues of the day. There may be a lack of trust that makes you feel litigation is necessary.

Litigation will provide a better benefit than mediation: You and your lawyer have done the math, reviewed the facts and concluded that litigation will provide better results than if you simply mediated your dispute.

Drawbacks to Mediation

You will not be happy about mediation...

1. If you do not prepare for the mediation process,2. If you are not engaged in the mediation process,

3. If you sit back and allow your attorney and mediator solve your problem.

Benefits to Mediation

The Four C’s Of Mediation Control the Outcome Common Sense Approach to the problem Less Conflict Less Cost

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Worksheet

Why are you here? What relief are you asking in your divorce? What do you want? Are you asking to be awarded primary custody, child support, and/or health insurance for your child? Are you asking to be awarded the marital home, a portion of retirement or alimony?

_________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ _________________________________________________ ______________________________________________

Have you talked with your spouse about your wish list? If not, why not?

This article is from:

Divorce Handbook - Vol. 2