MASC

November 2013

M A S C

Game rules for men

Contents Things a Man musntn’t know

2

Get your Ex back in 5 easy steps

3

Things a Man should do

6

Conversation Escalation

7

Things a Man mustn’t do

9

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Things a Man mustn’t Know 2

The menu in the cafeteria for the week * How to twerk * Who’s writing Billy Connolly’s script * How to make a fennel-risotto * That the most viewed internet site in Kazakhstan is mail.ru * Why women go together to the loo * What a Frappuccino is * How many calories does this have? * Her age (as long as it’s +18) * What a Birkin is * What star sign he is

Get your Ex back in 5 Easy Steps

L

ook at you! A mis-

it didn’t work out. At this

right for each other, but it

erable heap of

stage, it is good to be the one

would be cool to be friends

sorrow and grief,

who suggests taking a break

and stay in touch.” She will

or ending the relationship.

reply and say: “Okay, it’s

3 say “MOVE ON!”, but as

This puts you in a better po-

fine.” Leave this pondering

we watch you being in a

sition to go forward later on

for a week and now arrange

self-destructive state, and

and re-approach her, because

a coffee date “as friends”,

we’d rather prevent you from

believe us, she will think it’s

something in the daytime,

falling on your knees and

her triumph so she may hold

not romantic, but casual.

pleading her to come back,

the magic wand for granting

let us give you some tips, on

you another chance.

are we? Usually, we would

how you can get your Ex-girl-

The key actions here are the way you act. Greet her with a

friend back (if you really

After the deed is done, the

short, friendly hug, DO NOT

need to!). Or at least hatch a

letter sealed, you want to

CLING ON TO HER wailing

small comeback plan on her,

break the communication

how much you missed her,

to come out on top. Now, it

for two weeks and after this

but just a short pat on the

is important you both part

period of time approach her

back, a “good to see you” will

on good terms. Women want

casually in the lines of “Lis-

be enough. During the date

the talk, so be respective

ten, we had such a great time

don’t give her so much at-

and listen out to all her yous

together, things were really

tention: at times you might

about how you were and why

good, obviously we are not

glance at your watch, look

around, check out other women all this on purpose, it is im-

won’t change the things that

in the room, at the same time

portant not take the bait, keep

went wrong at first place.

be very polite, a gentleman

calm and invite her to drinks

and represent the best self she

in a more romantic, sexual

loved about you when you were atmosphere scene like a nightstill together, but with a tiny

time bar. Engineer a moment,

difference - you are not going to deeper into the night, where be available. Talk about things you two gaze at each other, like a new restaurant you

you pause, and project tension

tried, a movie you have seen,

that existed before.

which will plant the questions in her head “Who was he with

Drum roll for the kiss, but

doing all these things? Is he

after every step forward, halt

dating anyone?” This will show and raise objections: “This isn’t her that you don’t need her

right, we shouldn’t be doing

so much, you don’t constantly

this, we should just be friends.”

think about her, you have a

Make her wonder why you’re

life. But again, don’t forget to

being so hesitant, and think

be friendly, be a great conver-

to herself: “Why? What is bad

sationalist, listen to her, buy

about it? Maybe we should try

her lunch and be overall an

again?”

4

excellent host for the day.

The final step will be you both Meet her a few times like that

trying to work out as a couple

in between, make sure to be

be her idea more than yours,

the one who ends them first,

but the crucial difference is

you’re the one who’s busy. She

that you will have to improve

will want to chase you and will

all the misfits that occurred

fight for your attention, proba-

in your failed relationship

bly dressing more provocative-

last time and become a better

ly, try to get you jealous, etc.

version of yourself. Both of

Now that you know she’s doing you will break up again, if you

The images for this article were used under Creative Commons lisence

and if you have any phone calls together again. This should

Things a Man should do 6

Skydive * Know who Pamela Anderson is * Smoke a Cuban cigar * Pull a girl’s braid (as a wee kid) * Shake hands * Let a suit be sown for him * Get wasted with his dad * Give that street musician a pound or two * Watch Crocodile Dundee* Carry the masc magazine in the backpocket of his jeans * Go-kart

Building Conversational

Rapport 7

S

ilence. One… two… three… you count every second. It feels like you have run into a dead end.

Keeping up a lively conversation can be as strenuous and nerve wrecking as taking an exam. With every second of awkward silence you think the person makes up a negative impression of you as boring, characterless, dull. Needless to say, we all feel tested for our personality during the minutes of small talk.

Small talk – sucks. None of us cares for the things we ask, and most of us give crappy, conventional answers that do not express who the person really is.

To escape tedious moments, one must have a plan, a conversational tactic. Do not only glide through the mine walks of small talk, but also build rapport and connect with the person you’re talking to, make it exciting and lively. Making great conversation is the fundament of every success in any relationship sector, be it work or personal.

The ping-pong-questioning-back-andforth is a meagre way to get known to each other. After a while of comparing answers we deduct how much we have in common with the person and now we connect, but actually that’s not good enough. The fired up emotion

that gears hours passing by like minutes is missing. There are different ways in giving value to a conversation than approaching the person with mundane questions about himself.

It is your task to put both of you at ease at the start of the chat. “How are you doing?”, “Oh, I’m fine.” Now the ball is in your court again.

Silence. “What have you been up to?”, “Nothing much, how about yourself?” Back to square 1.

Both of you frantically search for a connection, but give weak answers with no hook to start a topic on. What you want to do is, after the primal question has been posed, immediately jump in with a story on the top of your head. For example, you’ve tried weasel coffee yesterday, in fact the most expensive coffee on earth, produced through a weasel’s digestion. It does not take the word “coffee” or “weasel” to make this a conversational topic, but upon “What have you been up to lately?” you can describe your emotions with this bizarre experience you have recently had. The person will be overwhelmed by your originality and will give you a response or a lead-on with of his thoughts.

“How are you?” “To be honest I feel great! I got this new phone and it changed my life. It made me a better person. Now I walk around on the street with a feeling people sense I’ve got this phone in my pocket and are more attracted to me. Can a person’s coolness boost by owning an object?” Clearly you’re joking, by adding a tick of value and humour the person will actually perceive you, as you mentioned, “cooler”. Beware you praise yourself casually and subtle, by overindulging you might sound cocky. Now you two are in a role-play, conversing playfully with each other.

Another technique is to fire off with a rant. Tell him how busy you are, particularly what you’ve been up to, what

you like or dislike about the situation. All this will give the person hooks to ask you, and reciprocatively you him, for the details and inevitably make conversation.

anymore, do not hesitate to talk about something totally new. To prevent the random transition, make sure to have different threads at the same time. Say, the person was telling you about holidays in Conversational ability, like any Ecuador. You recollect “the skill, can be trained and practime I have been in Malta the ticed so it is handy to have a other year and the funniest couple of answers in default to thing happened to me…” This monotonous questions. Give it is a springboard that provides a thought and then memorize you with several topics at the them to escape a dead lock. same time. How was Ecuador, Malta, what was the funniest In case the thread goes stale, thing that happened, how did nothing to say on the matter he or you feel about it, what

would the other person do in this situation, did anything crazy happen to him as well…

Don’t wait for them to give you an opportunity moment to talk about something you’re comfortable with. People do not have much patience for boring small talk and would rather prefer talking about something that is interesting or parts of them that are peculiar and memorable.

Things a Man mustn’t do 9

Try oysters * Dye his hair * Get wasted with his son * Buy his daughter a pony * Have his portrait painted * Start a band * Get fired from the band * Cockney-English * Make fire with his urine * Volunteer to be goalie* Spend a night in jail * Whipped cream art