KEEP IT MOVING
K.I.M.
Berry Cool Fashion Must Haves
Magazine
FRIENDS Do We Need Them?
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{
Ways To Prevent Heart Disease
FIRST LADIES SINGLE
in the CHURCH WHAT ARE THE GROUND RULES? FEB/MAR 2013 kimmagazine.com
& REALITY TV Do They Mix? ‘The Sisterhood’ Stars DOMONIQUE & IVY RESPOND TO THE CRITICS
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Go Red For Women® is the American Heart Association’s national movement to end heart disease in women. We are committed to the fight, for as long as it takes. Only one in five American women believe that heart disease is her greatest health threat. This unfortunate reality has a lot to do with why the statistics on women and heart disease are so unsettling: •One out of three women dies from heart disease. •Nearly 460,000 women every year die from heart disease, this is about one woman per minute •Every year since 1984 more women than men have died of cardiovascular diseases. •43 million American women are currently living with Cardiovascular disease •Cardiovascular disease kills more women than the next 4 leading causes of death including all cancers Helping women overcome the challenges they face in achieving and maintaining good heart health is vital to the overall health of our community.
For more information, visit www.goredforwomen.org.
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kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
EDITOR’S LETTER Greetings K.I.M. Readers, This issue is about putting religion and real life at the forefront of reality television. At the moment reality TV is an entertainment genre that is taking over almost every network. Why do we love it so much? Let’s face it. We love seeing a glimpse of how people live their lives. Whether we are watching these people overcome struggles of obesity or abuse, partying, calling ducks or living the fabulous life, it gives us an opportunity to be nosey or helps us put our own lives in perspective. The fact of the matter is, these celebrities on our TV screen become transparent for a season to give us the inside scoop of their lives. Some pay a major price with their reputation, while other’s rise to fame. We talk to first ladies, Domonique Scott and Ivy Couch, who are cast members of the TLC reality show, “The Sisterhood”. These women share their experience of letting the cameras into their lives. February is such an historic month for African Americans. Not only is President Barack Obama being sworn in for a second term on Martin Luther King’s Day, but we also celebrate Black History Month. We celebrate leaders who have come before us to pave the way for our freedom, our creativity, and our existence. Let us not take our history lightly. For our everyday freedoms were paid for with blood, sweat, tears, and many prayers. Take time to think about what history you are making for yourselves? What type of impact are you making now, so that future generations can benefit? It may sound like big shoes to fill but anything is possible. Start small. Be of service to someone or an organization. Please know that your time and presence is needed to make a better tomorrow. I charge you to be of use in your communities. I charge you to step up and make a difference. Thank you for your continued support of Keep It Moving Magazine and Riley Media Group LLC. While we hope that we inspire you, please know that you inspire us to. With Love, Monique Riley Editor-in-Chief @ IAmMoniqueRiley
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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CONTENTS FEB/ MAR
13
7
Road To Inauguration
100 9
12
Heart Matters
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Black History Book List
14
First Ladies Taking On Reality TV!
Singles Segment
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Berry Fashion
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16 Natural Born Diva Hair Advice On Natural Hair 4
Learning To Recognize Beauty “ Every choice in life either moves you forward or keeps you stuck.” - Oprah Winfrey PO Box 5881 - Saginaw, MI 48603 To Suscribe to K.I.M. Magazine, email info@kimmagazine.com
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KEEP IT MOVING
K.I.M.
Sorority 100 Celebrating Years
Founder Editor-In- Chief Monique Riley
Publishing & Design Riley Media Group LLC. Business Development & Marketing Riley Media Group LLC. Distribution Riley Media Group LLC. Interns LeVandis Gray, Isaiah Riley, Terrance Riley of the TLI Group Contributors Lily Mignon; Sheldon Miles; Daphne Bivens; Andrea Gibbs Photography Provided By: TLC Network; Ashley J. Beard Model Brooke S. Rushing All rights reserved. 2013 Publisher assumes no responsibility for return of unsolicited manuscripts, photos, or artwork. All printing done in the U.S.A.
/keepitmovingmagazine @ KIMmagazine
The women of Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. celebrated its 100 year anniversary and Founder’s Day weekend in Washington, DC. that started Jan. 11-13, 2013. This sisterhood was founded Jan. 13, 1913 by 22 collegiate women, who were committed to ‘sisterhood, scholarship, and service’ on the campus of Howard University. The sorority started its celebration off on New Year’s Day on a Delta float in the Tournament of Roses Parade held in Pasadena, California. Also, on New Year’s Day, the Delta Torch, which symbolizes the “passion and commitment of the organization’s global reach, began a 22 city tour that began in Los Angeles. Scheduled stops for the tour will include: Seattle, Dallas, Little Rock, Detroit on April 6th and continue throughout the country as well as Japan and Bermuda. On March 3rd, members from all over the country will travel to Washington to retrace the footsteps of their founders who participated in Women’s Suffrage March of 1913. This historic march was the first public act of service for its 22 founders. “We honor our Founders and Past National Presidents as we bring the flame they ignited in us so many decades ago back to their cities and gladly carry the ever-burning torch of sisterhood, scholarship, and service into the next 100 years,” said national president, Cynthia ButlerMcIntyre.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Congratulations
Photo Provided by: OWN Network
Be Inspired
President Barack Obama
On Martin Luther King Day, President Barack Obama was sworn in for his 2nd term in the White House on January 21, 2013. As he takes oath, he places his hand on the traveling bible of civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr. and the 16th President of the United States, Abraham Lincoln. Myrlie Evers - Williams, widow of slain civil rights activist Medgar Evers, delivers Inaugural prayer.
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A special moment when President Obama turns to look at the crowd one last time after his speech.
President Obama whisks First Lady Michelle away on the dance floor at the Inauguration Ball.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
Road
to inauguration A Couple’s Journey To Experience History
Your Letters
Shawn & Daphne Bivens On January 20, 2013, my husband, Shawn, and I set off on a journey to Washington, DC with a bus load of strangers to witness President Barack H. Obama's 2nd Inauguration. We missed the first inauguration, so we were determined to go and see this historical event. After an almost 12 hour journey, we got to Chesapeake Beach Resort and Spa in Maryland. You could just feel the excitement and anticipation in the air. The next morning, we got on the bus headed to Washington. This was an adventure in itself. We boarded the bus early Monday morning to travel to the National Mall in hopes of beating some of the crowds. There were over 600,000 people present to witness President Barack Obama be sworn into office. Was it cold? It absolutely was. The temperature had to be around 30 degrees that day. We braved the cold to witness history and it was well worth the wait. Yes, on January 21, 2013, which is also Dr. Martin Luther King’s Day, President Obama was sworn into office for the second time and gave an awesome inaugural speech. Dr. King's dream had become a reality four years earlier with having our first Black president, and to have a 2nd inauguration was a double bonus. We were just happy to be in the midst of it all. We count it an honor and privilege to have been a part of such an epic moment. We met a lot of new people and the overall trip was great. We will never forget it and it is something that we will one day tell our children and grandchildren about. Daphne Bivens Saginaw, MI
Email your letters & comments to letters@kimmagazine.com. Entries may be edited for length and clarity and will not be returned.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Up Next
On Fox Wed & Thu 8PM
UP NEXT Meet American Idol
Charles Allen
M
eet Charles Allen a Michigan native, who recently auditioned for Fox networks twelfth season of American Idol in Chicago at the Adler Planetarium. Singing before judges, Nicki Minaj, Randy Jackson, and Mariah Carey, he took bold chance and did an original song entitled “Look at Me.” His song won him a ticket to Hollywood, where he had an opportunity to compete for the next level in the contest. The son of international blues singer, Sharrie Williams, Charles Allen gained a love for music at a young age. Through the support of his parents and friends, Charles has continued to pursue his passion for music. “The overall experience was amazing”, Allen shared. “I can’t believe that I am one of the top 43 guys in the country.” Excited about the new opportunities coming his way, Charles Allen is currently working on his debut album entitled, “Where Is My Father”. For bookings and more information on upcoming performances, please contact his team at CharlesAllenbiz@gmail.com. Shown Above: Sharrie Wiliams, Ryan Seacrest, & Charles Allen
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kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
HEART MATTERS Health
Heart disease is one of the leading causes of death in America. According to the Centers for Disease Control, one out of every four deaths is heart related. By changing your habits, you can live a healthier lifestyle. Here are a few tips to get you going in the right direction.
1. Get up. Get out and move. Get at least 30 minutes of exercise daily. 2. Limit foods in high cholesterol, high fat and salt. 3. Eat healthier. Maintain a healthy diet by including fruits, vegeta bles, fibers and lean protein. Try adding fish (salmon, tuna, trout, etc.) to your diet. 4. Maintain a healthy weight. 5. Stop smoking this instance. 6. Find ways to relieve stress. Long term stress increases your heart rate and blood pressure. 7. Avoid excessive drinking. 8. Know your family history. 9. Manage your blood sugar. 10. Go to the doctor and have your blood pressure and cholesterol levels checked on a regular basis. It’s never too late to take control of your health. Start today! kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Be Empowered
Black History Month
Here are a few people who helped to contribute to Black History.
C.R. Patterson & Sons Carriage Building Firm Selma Burke Have you looked at a dime lately? Have you ever wondered who made the image of President Franklin D. Roosevelt? Born December 1900, Selma Burke was one of the few African American sculptors during the Harlem Renaissance that received national recognition during her lifetime. She was well known for creating the image of President Franklin D. Roosevelt on the dime. Ms. Burke founded the Selma Burke Art School in New York city and the Selma Burke Art Center in Pittsburgh, PA. She worked tirelessly as an educator and advocate until her death in 1995.
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C.R. Patterson was the first Black owned automobile manufacturer. He was born into slavery in April 1833 on a Virginia plantation. He escaped to freedom by hiking the Allegheny Mountains to Greenfield, Ohio after the Civil War in 1861. It was there that he became a Master Blacksmith and started working for a Dines & Simpson carriage company. He later started his own company in 1861 producing over 28 different horse carriages. After his death in 1910, Patterson’s son Fredrick Patterson developed ideas to stay competitive in the auto industry. The first Patterson-Greenfield car made its debut in 1915 and was sold for $850. This four - cylinder vehicle was more sophisticated that the Ford Model T manufacturer.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
Books Every 10African American Should Read While we know that there are well over 10 books African Americans should read, we picked a few to get you started. These books include topics on race relations, politics, poetry, pros, love etc.
Pauline Hopkins Before there was a K.I.M. Magazine, Ebony, or Essence, there was The Colored American. Founded in May 1900, this monthly Boston based publication was the first of its kind reaching over 15,000 readers throughout the country. Author, playwright, and Pauline Hopkins served as editor for the magazine. Highlighting accomplished blacks in education, politics, art, medicine, business, and many other topics relevant to the black community, The Colored American’s sole purpose was to strengthen and empower the bonds to the black race. Pauline was not only an editor; she was a novelist, a playwright, and the epitome of black journalism.
1. The Mis - Education of the Negro Carter G. Woodson 2. We A BaddDDD People Sonia Sanchez 3. The Souls of Black Folk W.E.B. Dubois 4. Homemade Love J. California Cooper 5. The Collected Poems of Langston Hughes Langston Hughes 6. The Girl Who Fell From the Sky Heidi W. Durrow 7. Twelve Years a Slave Solomon Northup 8. The Bluest Eye - Toni Morrison 9. The Narrative of the Life of Frederick Douglass Frederick Douglass 10. Dream From My Father Barack Obama
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Cover Story
The Experience of ‘The Sisterhood’ Reality TV Show The Atlanta based TLC series, “The Sisterhood, gives a candid version of the daily lives of five preachers’ wives. It shows these women experiencing ups and downs in marriage, church, and everything in between. Whether or not you expected the show to portray the church in a positive light, it does show these women supporting their husbands of the cloth and taking care of their families. At the same time, you get drama, laughter, and a behind the scenes view of first ladies dealing with sex, financial woes, drugs, and the pursuit of sisterhood. As the world tuned in to watch the premier in January, the pews began to talk. Many of the saints & aints found The Sisterhood to be quite offensive to the Christian and African American communities. Before the show had a chance, petitions were out all over the internet to cancel it. Why you ask? Most feel that is an unwritten code that has been broken. It goes back to a lesson we learned when we were little. You don’t tell people everything that goes on in your house. Does the same ring true the leaders in the church? Should there be transparency in the church? Keep It Moving magazine talked with cast members, Domonique Scott and Ivy Couch. Domonique is the tell it like it is first lady. She has dealt with a painful past of drugs, prostitution, and violence. She doesn’t mind telling you what’s on her mind and having fun along the way. Ivy was an aspiring R&B singer trying to make it in entertainment and is now focused on having a family with her husband leading the lost to Christ. Monique: Your show The Sisterhood has really been getting a great response that has been good, bad, and uneasy. What do you two think about that? Domonique: It has been one heck of a ride. A real roller coaster ride, I mean either you love me or you hate me. Like the movie, Thin Line Between Love and Hate. I think that is where the audience is with
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First Ladies (L to R): Christina Murray, Delana Rutherford, tara lewis, ivy coucH, domonique scott us. Either they love us or they hate us. It’s no in between. Monique: So it’s no in between? It’s either hot or cold. It can’t be lukewarm right? Domonique: That’s right girlfriend. Hot or cold. Monique: What about you Ivy? Ivy: I think it’s really great. I mean we came into this knowing that it was a controversial topic and that we were breaking new ground. If the show was boring, it would not have garnered all the attention that it has like the Twitter war and all this other stuff. The hardest thing to do is to put your life completely out there and say I am giving you everything that I am. I’m giving you my flaws. I am giving you my triumphs. I think especially for Domonique and myself and the other women, we really showed up and did that. Monique: When you all went into this, you knew you were going to be breaking new ground and that no other first ladies had ever done anything like this before, so it was epic, but did you get the type of response that you were looking for? Ivy: I don’t think I knew what to expect. I don’t really think you can know. I just knew that the show was going to be very good. I knew people were going to laugh with us, cry with us, or get angry. I mean I knew that it was going to be all of that. I did not know it would get this
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
much attention and this much controversy but I think it is a good thing. I mean it’s kinda shaking things up.
Monique: I get it. Watching the show I experienced different emotions. I have laughed with you guys and cried with you guys as well. How important is it Domonique or Ivy to be transparent in the Black church? I mean going in, you knew somebody was going to have something to say. When you share so much of yourself, how important is it to be transparent as a first lady knowing that it can either lead people to Christ or turn them away? Ivy: That’s a good question. Domonique: You know how people say keep it 100? We need to keep it 200 totally. I can’t speak for African American churches, but I can speak from that because I am an African American woman. The lack of us not being transparent has yielded us higher divorce rates. It has yielded us our teen daughters being pregnant. It has yielded us our sons not knowing what role that they want to play. Even if they do feel and are convicted in their heart that they are gay, that they can’t come and sit at the table and tell their Christian parents that they feel like they were born different and we can’t help them
Ivy: I don’t think there is much to say after that. I think Domonique pretty much summed that up. I think we have to get to a place when, we have to stop being so judgmental across the board in all areas of “Christendom”. Especially in the African American church experience, it’s just in people’s nature to look back at people and judge them even though they have been saved by grace. You want to look back to somebody that is still struggling with the same issue and I guess it makes us feel better about ourselves. You want to act like you are so far removed from that? It’s just sad. I’m not the same person that I was. Domonique is not the same person she was. Yet, people watching are so quick to judge. I wonder if a camera followed the same judgmental people around for 7 or 8 months, what would we see? If a camera were to watch your every move, what would play out on the screen for you? I do understand that people hold first ladies of the church to a higher standard, but I think what God is trying to do in this time period is to show that we are all still human. It doesn’t mean that we are not held to a higher standard and we should, but it doesn’t mean that we are not dealing with the same issues. It’s just how do you handle those sorts of situations? And when you do mess up, are you willing to say I messed up? I will show you my scars, and the same God that gave you a second chance is the same God that is going to give me a second chance.
Cover Story
Domonique: I concur with what Ivy said. If there has been a shock value for me, it has been the response from what we call “Christendom”. I don’t know how you can adequately prepare for something like this. You can never prepare for something this controversial or being the first to break ground or doing something like this. If it were that easy, then it would have been even easier for Christ. He said, “Father, Father why have thou forsaken me? This cup is very bitter for me. What’s really going on when I’m just here to do something to connect your people back to you without having to go and kill lambs and sheep and go through a man? I am trying to talk directly to them and these people are kicking me. They’re spitting on me. They put nails in my hands.” For me, that is my emotional feeling right now. I am just here to tell my story. I am not saying that my story represents every first lady in America. This is my story. This is what God did for me. Since he’s done it for me, he can do it for you. And I am willing to tell you and show you like Ivy said, my flaws, my tears, my hurts, my pain, my financial embarrassment, and my spiritual embarrassment. Even though you have probably made the same mistakes, but that’s not enough. You still want to crucify me.
through that. The love of God, as much as we preach it, is not being properly applied and displayed in the African American church. It’s being covered. It’s being skewed. It’s being pardoned but yet the negative results from it, we still have to keep dealing with it and binging ourselves and dragging the gospel across the finish line. That is not why Christ came to get up on that cross. He already took the beating. He already laid down his life, so we could have life and have it more abundantly. We are doing him a disservice if we are not walking as he walked and if we do not love as he loved.
Domonique: What I think about it is when people say, Oh you’re a first lady and you’re not supposed to or you’re a pastor and you’re not supposed to.” I agree with 80% of what Ivy said as far as the role of responsibility. I get all that. I feel that I hold being a daughter to the King position over any position. What happens is people want to put you on these pedestals so that they have a perfection to look to. It can be imperfect but we all still read the same Bible. And if I can’t smoke, drink, and cuss then guess what? You can’t smoke, drink, or cuss either. I don’t care if I am married to a pastor. We are daughters and sons of the King. The rules of the kingdom apply to everybody. Yes, there are some of us that instead of just being a door keeper, we tend to thee altar. Yes, I get that but the person that tends (Continued on Pg. 17)
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Ground Rules For Being Single Has the face of dating changed?
Singles Segment
By: Andrea Gibbs
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There are no rules for being a single Christian woman ….because rules can be easily broken. But having standards and integrity are the factors that influence you to hold on to your beliefs while walking through this single journey. Understanding these points will help you to travel through the weeds, and the valleys of waiting for Mr. Right. Let’s be honest being a single black woman in a church is very hard, and testing to a degree. The face of dating in today’s society has changed tremendously almost in a sense where it’s unrecognizable. As women, we have to embrace a spirit of discernment that helps us to see things like manipulation, or deception. The state of dating, or courting as my parents say has diminished to where it’s nonexistent. Some men don’t want to take the time to get to know you, or find out your dislikes or likes. When you encounter a guy like that I suggest you move on. Building a foundation of friendships helps a relationship to go a long way. One can say they learn these actions by what’s displayed, but that’s getting to deep. Ladies my suggestion to you is to stay encouraged, love will find you. It might not come when you want it, but when it does; you will appreciate more than anything before. Being in love is magnificent, God is love, just know that love is not supposed to hurt, judge, or be restricted. Patience is a virtue.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
ASK THE CHURcH
I
HAVE YET TO REALLY SEE A SiNGLES
MiNiSTRY THAT SiNGLE PEOPLE ARE REALLY SATiSFiED WiTH.
WHAT
WHAT
ARE YOUR THOUGHTS?
MAKES YOUR MiNiSTRY DiFFERENT? and being a born again believer we must still have fun. This life isn't suppose to be boring. He have the one in our lives who created life. Our single and strong ministry loves to have fun and it is of all ages 20' to 60's and everyone can relate to one another. On of our missions at our church is to
Religion
What makes our singles ministry different and effective always has to do with the person teaching it! That person has to either have lived a successful single life or living a successful single life that was or is built on the Word of God. The messenger has to have the fruit of a successful life when I say fruit I'm talking about you can see and tell the person is living and practicing what they preach or teach. That person knows who they are in Christ. That person lives a consistent and diligent lifestyle. In order to have an effective singles ministry you have to have someone who is real and upfront with people. You also have to be creative and stay on the cutting edge, outings, prayer breakfast, prayer groups, book clubs, the key is keeping their minds engaged with the Word of God. Keeping them around strong singles. What makes our singles ministry different is our singles love to have fun,
1. Discover - Discover who you are in Christ. Discover your God given purpose in this earth.
2. Develop - Once you discover your purpose, now develop in it. 3. Demonstrate - Demonstrate to this lost and dying world what you discovered and developed in.
Pastor Tariq & ShaRease Price are the founders of World Overcomers Church International in Saginaw, MI. Their singles ministry is called, “Single & Strong�. This group meets on the 2nd Sunday of each month at 6PM. The marriage ministry is the 1st Monday of each month at 6PM. To find out about other ministries, visit their website @ iwasborntowin.org. Send your questions to letters@kimmagazine.com. Entries may be edited for length and clarity and will not be returned.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Hair Tips
N
HOW DO I RETAIN MOISTURE? With the winter months coming to an end, it is very easy deal with dry follicles. Hair of African descent needs plenty of moisture period! That is why it is important to infuse our hair strands with moisture. This will ensure long, healthy hair and prevent dryness. Liquid
Co-wash Shea Moisture Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner sheamoisture.com
Huetiful Hair Steamer huetiful.myshopify.com Oil Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie sheamoisture.com
Send your hair questions to hair@kimmagazine.com
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To keep the moisture, try using the L.(liquid) O. (oil) C. (cream) method. 1)Moisturize your hair with a liquid like water. I co-wash with a conditioner as needed. Currently, I am using Shea Moisture’s Raw Shea Butter Restorative Conditioner for my co-wash. The great thing about this product is that it can be a leave-in conditioner or a rinse out. The ingredients include shea butter, argan oil, and sea kelp. Our hair loves water. A hair steamer, like the Huetiful steamer, is a good tool to use to penetrate the hair shaft. It also adds sheen and leaves your hair feeling softer. If you don’t have that, try a shower cap and the steam from your shower head. 2) Oil your ends with natural oil. Although our hair makes natural oils, it’s not easy for it to make it all the way down the hair follicle. Coconut oil, extra virgin olive oil, or jojoba oil will lock moisture in. 3) Lastly, I like to use a butter cream to seal the deal on my kinky, curly hair. Shea Moisture Curl Enhancing Smoothie does the job. It also smells great. From there, you can style your hair as desired. You can try protective styles like twists or an updo to seal in moisture even longer.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
and Tara ever get things straightened out? Do you all
Experience of The Sisterhood (continued from PG. 13) still talk? to the door and the person that tends to the altar are held to the same standard. That’s why they tied ropes to their feet at the altar because if they went in there to clean that altar or stand at the door and they weren’t right, they got killed. The cause and effect is still the same for everybody. Don’t make me something or hold me accountable to live something that you feel like you can do when you want to. Then when I do make a mistake, you ain’t got no love for me but I’m supposed to have a whole lotta love for you. Come on now. Monique: So you feel in a way persecuted by the Black church community and Christendom? Have any other first ladies tried to reach out to you? Domonique: Yes, I feel persecuted. No other first ladies have tried to reach out to me. When I see remarks that Pastor Marvin Sapp or Jamal Bryant or different ones have made, I am just looking at you like, for real? I mean come on Jamal. You got the girls throwing their panties and dollars at you on the altar and you got your secretary pregnant. Bro, don’t make me call you out. You cannot talk about me and belittle me to a point when I know that you are struggling with your issues just like I am struggling with my issues. Where is the love of God for me as the love of God had been given to you? You cannot do that. When you see Marvin saying those things and Marvin was just dating a Basketball Wife and his wife ain’t been in the ground 24 months. Do not make me call you to the carpet, because I will. That’s the difference between Ivy, Christina, and the rest of the ladies on the show. Not that they are wrong but because they have a whole lot more maturity and love. I am the Peter of the group. I will cut you. Sit down because I know what you do behind closed doors. If you gone call me out and try to belittle me in front of the kingdom and you know that you have just fallen yourself. You are divorcing your wife. I mean everybody wanted to brush over Pastor Zachary Tims issue out in New York. Everybody knows what he was doing. Because I say it, it makes me a really bad Christian. Yet, they had a brush, brush up funeral and no one dealt with what was really going on in that man of God’s life. I just need for the body to stop. We’re having seizures and we need to stop. We really need to walk this thing out in love and we need to preach the gospel of grace. If we are not going to do that we need to do like Big Mama used to say, “If you don’t have nothing good to say, don’t say nothing at all.” Just be quiet. Let God finish what he started. You do not have the right to sit there and throw stones. He that is without sin cast the first stone. And I don’t think that nobody writing, nobody reading, and nobody watching the show can ever cast a stone at my cast mates. Unlike them, I will pick up all those stones and throw them right back at you for them because they ain’t gone do it.
Domonique: I will let Ivy answer that because she is going to give a nice gracious answer. Ivy: That is why I love Domonique because she is going to keep it real at all times. That is why I love her because of what she’s been through. She knows no other way. I think it is amazing because we all are different and God created us in different ways. This is the deal. Whenever given the opportunity, I think myself, Domonique, and Christina have always had each other’s back. When I have been asked things on the radio like, why would I be friends with someone like Domonique? I say why would I not? Personally, in my life, I don’t want anybody walking with me, knowing me, and, not being for me. Friendship comes at a cost. I’ve been through too much and I walk to transparent to be friends with somebody who’s not willing to give me that same transparency back. When you decide to call someone a friend, that means that you are really picking up their cross or their baggage and saying, “I except you wholeheartedly and I am going to walk this thing out with you. I have done that with Domonique and I have done that with Christina. I wanted to do that with all the women but some people show up to a situation naturally and other’s show up to a situation only wanting to portray themselves as puppets. The comedy in that is no one is blind. The viewers will begin to see that the same people that only wanted to show up on specific occasions, you rarely see them. And if you were to see them, you would really still not know who they are. That’s obvious. I think the one’s that show up, I give them credit for that but they are the ones that want to talk down or say we are all going to hell and they are the only one’s living holy. That’s ludicrous too. I think we have all tried to maintain a relationship with Tara or Delana. We knew that this ride was going to be hard because we established a friendship before the show. Domonique was always saying, “We have to get to know each other. We have to laugh together. We have to cry together during the process, so that when the process is over and we don’t have control of the editing, we remain in tack.” We are watching the show play out just like the viewers. It’s an interesting dynamic to sit in your living room on a Tuesday night and not know what you are going to see on TV. Because Domonique, Christina and I sit talk daily or weekly or have lunch. I am glad that there is a realness that has been maintained with us through it all. This has been the hardest think I have ever done. It’s an honor to be on this journey and it’s an honor to have friends along this ride to share that common thread . We know what’s it like to take our lives and put it 100% out there for people to take and grow from. I believe that the God we serve is not going to leave any of us hanging. People will understand us better, when the whole season plays out.
Monique: Wow! You spoke about your cast mates, so you guys are friends? Did you ladies really have a sisterhood? The issues that you had on the show with Tara and Delana showed you guys not getting alone. Did you
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WHAT HAPPENED
Short Story
I woke up this morning and everything was completely dark. I couldn’t see anything, even if I waved my hand directly in front of my face. I could not sense anything in front of me or in my path as I proceeded to walk ahead. It was almost like I was dreaming. The next thing I know I find myself standing on my front lawn staring at the children playing up and down the street. My neighbors are doing lawn work and suddenly they look in my direction and then I wave to them. They ignored me and act as if they didn’t see me. That is kind of rude and strange if you ask me. I’m feeling weird, I don’t feel sick, I just feel like this isn’t my reality. I begin to walk down the street in order to clear my mind and to figure out what’s going on. I decide to cross the street but a car almost hit me, luckily I dodged it. The car didn’t attempt to stop or even swerve out the way to try and avoid hitting me. That’s inconsiderate if you ask me but I’m thankful that I am still breathing. Soon as I get on my feet my vision becomes blurry and everything turns into darkness. I’m confused, what is happening to me? I can’t explain this and I am still feeling weird. My body weight is extremely light and I feel light as a feather. Suddenly, everything becomes so vivid but I don’t know where I am. I am randomly placed along a dirt path which is dark and the sky is gloomy. There is a full moon and it’s big, beautiful, and bright. The path also had several skeletons alongside of it; I must admit I was petrified. The trees didn’t have any leaves on them and the sky gradually became darker than usual as I walked forward. As I continued walking along the trail I can see words that are displayed on two signs. I can barely see what the signs read as they hang from separate trees, so I ask myself, what is this all about? As I continue walking, in order to figure out what the signs read. I must say, it seemed like it took me forever to get closer but eventually I arrived. The two signs were hanging next to their own individual path and the one to the left read “Before” and the one to the right read “After”. This simply placed me in a state of puzzlement. I was curious to find out what the path “After” had stored for me. I decided to walk down that path and I see a
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SHELDON MILES
luminous light not too Shortly thereafter, Bfar y: ahead. Sheldon Miles I reach the light and it absorbs me inside of it. The next thing I know is, I find myself at a cemetery on a dazzling sunny day. What’s happening? Why am I teleporting from one place to another? How is this possible? I look around and I see a group of people gathered together in a circle. I ran towards them to ask them for assistance. Once I approached them I stopped and stood directly in front of a woman who resembled my mother. It was hard to tell if she was but she had her head down crying with a black veil covering her face. I spoke to her, hello? She didn’t respond. I waved at her and whispered excuse me ma’am? She still didn’t budge, at the same time I wanted to be respectful because of their loss; however, I was going through a state of flux. I turn to the next person and it’s my sister, my mouth drop and I didn’t have anything to say because I’m confused on why she is here. I wonder if one of her friends died or something? I pan around and look at everyone surrounding me; I see my uncles, aunties, grandmother and the rest of my family. What is going on? Why haven’t they told me they had a funeral to attend? Nevertheless, I decide to look inside the grave to see who was lying there. I open the casket and I see…. I see myself! The wind begins to blow extremely hard and lighting flashes in the sky. Everyone panics by the casket opening and abruptly a thunderstorm hovered over them. I look up to the sky and begin crying. I screamed to the top of my lungs and I asked myself. WHEN DID I BECOME A GHOST!
Sheldon Miles is a 23 year old aspiring screenwriter from Detroit, MI. He has the sole intentions of giving his audience something new, refreshing and original. He loves writing screenplays & makes it a point to be innovative and creative with each written piece. His goal is to create something dynamic, intriguing & entertaining. These differentiators are sure to set him apart from the competition. @ The_MovieWriter
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
spring FASHION BERRY
T S U M ES HAV
J Crew Secret Wash Shirt in Purple Check $64.50 jcrew.com Dockers Alpha Khaki Sailmaker Yellow Trousers $145 coggles.com
Imperial Purple Jeggings $134.99 Not Your Daughters Jeans nydj.com
Aldo Capecoral Pump $55 aldoshoes.com
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Amrita Singh Luann Earrings $50 amritasingh.com Bindya NY Dragon Printed Cashmere And Silk Blend Scarf $195 harveynichols.com Pink figure-fit jacket by H&M $38
Carolee Turquoise White Pearl Three Floral Bib Necklace $95 maxandchloe.com
Papaya ruched jersey dress Original $199 theoutnet.com
Katrinea’s Boho Style Orange Beaded Fashion Bracelet $43 fantasyjewelrybox.com Multi Colored Dyvinal $149.95 Steve Madden stevemadden.com
Iron Fist La Reina Platform Orange $80 heels.com TOPSHOP Love Hate Twist Ring $18 topshop.com
Great Jones Wingtip Black $198 colehaan.com Sophia Mini Bag With Stones Bombshell $178 juicycouture.com
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Friends.......
Food For Thought
Do They Serve A Purpose? The world is changing constantly. People are depressed, fatigued, full and bloated off the good of the land. We have more than we ever wanted in life. We walk around like we have it going on. We are independent and self-reliant. At the end of the day, most of us are lonely, miserable and unfulfilled. It is a myth that we have to keep our emotions and problems to ourselves. We see it in the news every day, where someone has had a mental breakdown and done something detestable. After the investigation is completed, we learn most times that the person was a loner or was going through a rough patch in life. Stress and loneliness can make you do crazy things. Did you know that there is a direct connection between happiness and health? Well, there is. Studies show that people who live their lives in isolation are at greater risk to develop heart disease faster than the smokers, fast food eaters, and the non-exercisers. Psychologist, Blair Justice, believes that close connections with others can relieve stress, prevent premature death, and boost immunity. Who knew friendships could make us healthier? Know this. You don’t have to walk this road called life alone. Share your journey with someone. It’s true everyone cannot be trusted. Follow your gut. There are people who seek genuine friendship too. Don’t be afraid to meet new people and try new things. Here are few places you can cultivate new friendships.: ∙ interest groups∙ churches∙ book clubs∙ gyms∙
Nelson Mandela’s Granddaughters Starring In New TV Show
‘Being Mandela’
The flesh and blood of 94 year old South African president, Nelson Mandela, are to join the reality TV circuit. Both sisters, Zaziwe Diamini-Manaway and Swati Diamini, jointly stated, “This show is about us and our lives - both as individuals and as members of the Mandela family. It offers a window on how far we have come to re-establish our lives. We are excited to share the story of our lives and hopefully viewers will be able to appreciate how universal the human story is.” Cameras will follow their daily routine as mothers in Johannesburg, South Africa. President Mandela shared his excitement in his granddaughters new venture. His favorite reality show is TLC’s ‘Toddlers in Tiaras”. “Because of the kids! He just loves children,” Zaziwe added quickly. He will not be on the 13 episode series but his ex-wife, Winnie Mandela will be on the show. The show premieres on Cozi TV, on Sunday, Feb. 10th at 9 PM
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kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
LEARNING
TO RECOGNIZE BEAUTY IN WHAT YOU THINK IS UGLY ABOUT YOURSELF. LILY MIGNON
G
We can all think back to comments made throughout our lives by friends and loved ones poking fun at what they viewed as our physical flaws. Whether you laughed it off or were hurt by it, you remember it. As a mother of 2 beautiful, young girls I’m always concerned with how they view themselves in the world. Do they know that their opinion of themselves matters more than anyone else’s? Do they understand that they are valued? Do they realize that no matter the situation, they always have a choice? But wait a minute….how can I expect them to get it and I’m still struggling with it? The constant replay of the negative things said to me by others cloud my mind on a daily basis preventing the sun of positivity from shining through. So it stays dreary. And gray. And cold. And I don’t like it. So what do I do about it? Understanding that my girls will follow my example and not my advice, it’s time I modeled for them how to properly sport the “self-acceptance” pair of big girl panties. So I strip down to those proverbial panties, put India Arie’s “Private Party” on repeat, waddle over to the mirror, and take a long hard self-accepting look at myself. With my head cocked to the side and my eyes squinted, the examination begins with airport security scrutiny. At first I hear the church mothers commenting on my big legs, but I also hear the young men talking about how hot they look in my
fishnets and heels. I hear him asking when I am getting a perm, but I also hear my nieces asking if I can make their curls pop like mine. I hear old classmates poking fun at my full lips, but I also see the salesgirl at Macy’ selling lip gloss with “plumper” in it so EVERYBODY’S lips can look like mine. I’m pretty alright. No everything is not where is should be, but…..I’m alright. What I’m seeing the most is that confident parents raise confident children because that big head you were teased about is also on your son now. Not just doing a “grin and bear it” but learning to CELEBRATE it!!
Self Reflection
Model: Brook S. Rushing Photographer: Ashley J. Beard
“ irl, look at your big legs!” “Them some big soup-coolers, ain’t they!?” “When are you gone catch up to your feet?” “Can your hair get any nappier?”
That big head is how folks standing behind you can still know what family you belong to! No amount of self-loathing or hatred will change what you inherited so rock it proudly. Knowing that I don’t make enough money to afford all the plastic surgery I thought I needed, I tell myself the mantra normally saved for my children: You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit. So I turn the radio up and sing with India....”I’m gonna take off all my clothes, look at myself in the mirror. We’re gonna have a conversation, we’re gonna heal the disconnection. I don’t remember where it started but this is where it’s gonna end. My body is beautiful and sacred and I’m gonna celebrate it!! I’m having a private party…..”
Lily Mignon is a freelance sign language interpreter, makeup artist, chef, and all-around domestic goddess. An aspiring blogger, Lily Mignon gets her love of literature from her beloved mother, Dorothy Nell. She is the mother of 2 beautiful young ladies and resides in the Midwest.
kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Events 22
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B EYO N CE’ Okay, so how could you not follow Mrs. Carter’s career? She is frickin everywhere. In case you have been under a rock, here are some highlights of her gigs so far in 2013. So MJ is gone and so is Whitney. Who is going to pick up the torch? Beyonce is undoubtedly one of the biggest entertainers out. Nobody is doing it big like this. Could she be next in line?
Money Mat-
Not only did she rock the house at the Super Bowl, she added Kelly Rowland & Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child.
sings National Anthem at the 2nd Inauguration of President Barack Obama
wins 17th Grammy @ for Best Traditional R&B Life Is A Dream HBO Documentary Premieres Feb. 16th
That’s right Mrs. Carter is coming to a city near you. Palace of Auburn Hills in MI July 20, 2013 www.ticketmaster.com kimmagazine.com Feb/Mar 2013
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Brian Pruitt Making History Taking Fatherhood To New Heights
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