401 Finishing with your calling by Kingdom Site Ministries

Module 401 FINISHING YOUR CALLING: FROM SUCCESS TO SIGNIFICANCE by Dr Mario Denton

Question: Do you feel you have achieved most of what you set out to do - or are there still many unfulfilled dreams left?

FOREW ORD As seasoned academics we try our best to help people to be successful. As people move on with their lives, there is a desperate need to move on to the season of significance. In my own research on managerial degeneration and self-neglect I have found that managers easily understand the importance of strategic thinking and when to have team-building sessions with their staff, but often fail to apply those same processes in their own lives. People often have pearls of wisdom but are not focused or do not use these to make a significant difference. Buford expressed it so clearly: “The

quest for success allows no rest. Our sense of accomplishment seems to evaporate with the achievement of each goal. Is there a way off this treadmill?" OUTCOMES The series of exercises in this workbook are to help participants to be clear about their mission, to help couples to be practically minded and to be involved in meaningful ways. I also want to echo the words of Buford in his book on finishing well: “There is a

difference between your calling and your career. Your career is what you are paid to do and your calling is what you are made to do. A person with a calling is a person who has purpose and meaning that will not end with the termination of a job. Those who are called will go and find new directions by virtue of how they are wired by God and what they are called to do. We can retire from our jobs, but we can never retire from our calling.” CLOSING COMMENTS I am keen to take you through this wonderful experience. Let me close with the words of Peter Drucker:

“I see more and more people who make it to their mid-forties or beyond, and they have been very successful. They have done very well in their work and career, but in my experience, they end up in one of the three groups. One group will retire. They usually don’t live very long. The second group keep on doing what they have been doing, but they are losing their enthusiasm, feeling less alive. The third group keep doing what they have been doing, but they are looking for ways to make a contribution. They feel they have been given a lot and they are looking for a chance to give back. They are not satisfied with just writing checks, they want to be involved, to help other people in a more positive way. And they are the ones who finish well."

BACKGROUND

THE

AUTHOR

AND

FACILITATOR,

MARIO

DENTON .

Mario Denton was born in 1955 in the province of Cape Town, South Africa and has a solid Christian praying and committed family background. He came to Christ when he was 16 years old. Mario is an optimist who has a passion for people and tutoring and a real love for life. He has devoted his career to people management and facilitating complex and perpetual change. Mario uses his strong academic and corporate background and his uniquely effective coaching style to help people tap into their inner being to utilise their strengths and expand their skills. He has been the study leader of 156 MBA research projects to date, has published 7 books and various articles and has read papers at 32 conferences worldwide. He is an international teacher and industrial psychologist.

He teaches people management,

leadership, emotional and spiritual intelligence, and organisational behaviour and change management and has done this in Tanzania, France, Belgium, Denmark, Germany, Austria, Poland and Switzerland as well. He attended the Haggai international training in Maui, Hawaii in 2004, the FDS in Singapore in 2005 and has been actively involved in training at the local Haggai group in both Cape Town and Maui since then. He is also a board member of Crown Financial Ministries and Marriage Ministries International. Mario has been married to Mariene for the past 28 years, have three sons, Du Wayne married to Zani, Desmond and Marinus. To God all the Glory.

THE OBJECTIVES OF THIS WORKBOOK

1. Participants will be convinced that setting goals for life and ministry is not unbiblical, but pleases God and benefits people. 2. Participants will learn how to set SMART goals and distinguish them from mere wishful thinking. 3. Participants will have the opportunity to write personal goals in the areas of ministry, family, finances, health, and intellectual growth. 4.

Participants will write the first draft of their Life Mission Statement, and align their goals accordingly.

5. Participants will write the ministry goal, complete the Goal and Task Chart detailing the activities required to achieve this goal, and share it with a person of their choice.

THE GOAL SETTER’S PRAYER

Father in Heaven, I know that You created me with a specific purpose to accomplish Your mission on earth. Help me to set my heart and eye upon a goal to glorify You. Give me the wisdom, diligence and commitment to fulfil my goal. Protect me from the snares of the Evil One, lest I be sidetracked from my goal. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen

“NO LONGER LEARNING, NO LONGER GROW ING”- PETER DRUCKER

TABLE OF CONTENTS

1. Connecting with your passion and life mission 2. Goal setting: Your current status 3. Goal-setting questions to reflect upon 4. Rick W arren case study 5. The silent killers of goal derailment 6. Role feedback: Husband 7. Role feedback: Wife 8. Your personal road map for success 9. Integrated goal-setting contract 10.Regular accountability discussions 11.Accountability partner or coach summary 12.Further practical application 13.Further practical application: Doing your personal SWOT analysis 14.Fundamental parenting principles 15.Fundamental questions for strategic goal setting for your ministry 16.Discover Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan for your marriage 17.Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s promises and challenges for finishing well 18.Your circle of influence 19.References and acknowledgements 20.Closing comments

1. CONNECTING WITH YOUR PASSION AND LIFE MISSION

Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s start with our first activity. The next four questions are fundamental to set you in the right direction to connect with your passion and calling. It is said that a job is what you are paid for, but that you never retire from your calling.

1. Who are you?

2. Why do you exist?

3. It is five to seven years later; tell me more about the person standing/sitting in front of me.

4. Write down your personal mission statement.

Steps towards personal mission statement development

Step 1: Identify past successes. Spend some time identifying four or five examples of personal successes in recent years. These successes could be at work, in your community or at home. Write them down. Try to determine whether there is a common theme -- or themes -- in these examples. Write them down.

Step 2: Identify core values. Develop a list of attributes that you believe identify who you are and what your priorities are. The list can be as long as you want it to be. Once your list is complete, see whether you can narrow your values down to the five or six most important values. Finally, see whether you can choose the one value that is most important to you.

Step 3: Identify contributions. Make a list of the ways in which you could make a difference. In an ideal situation, how could you contribute best to: •

the world in general?

•

your family?

•

your employer or future employers?

•

your friends?

•

your community?

Step 4: Identify goals. Spend some time thinking about your priorities in life and the goals you have set for yourself. Make a list of your personal goals, perhaps in the short term (up to three years) and the long term (beyond three years). 7

Step 5: Write a mission statement. Based on the first four steps and a better understanding of yourself, begin writing your personal mission statement.

Scripture to reflect upon: MEMORISE THIS •

Is 49:4 – "I have laboured to no purpose; I have spent my strength in vain and for nothing."

•

Jer 29:11 – God made us to have meaning: “For I know the plans that I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.”

•

Eph 5:17 – Don’t live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants.

•

Phil 3:13 – I am focusing all my energies on this one thing: forgetting the past I look forward to what lies ahead.

•

Luke 14:28 - “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it?”

•

Luke 14:31 – “Suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able . . . “

•

Hab. 2:2 – And the Lord answered me and said, "Write the vision and make it plain upon tablets, that he may run that readeth it".

•

Joshua 1, 2 – Ordering of the officers, sending of the spies, leading with the ark of the covenant, moving the people out to the Jordan, and crossing it.

EXERCISE

In groups of 2 or 3 discuss: Why do people not set goals or even put them on paper? REMEMBER: Opportunities never come to those who wait. They are captured by those who dare to attack. HAVE YOU CONSIDERED THIS? – We need to be interested in the future. That’s where we are going to spend the rest of our lives.

"Attempt to do something so great for God that it is doomed to failure, unless God be in it. “ (Dr. John E. Haggai)

2. GOAL SETTING: YOUR CURRENT STATUS

This activity will help you in assessing where you are in some of the most important areas of your life. Be honest with yourself and indicate where you are right now by giving yourself the score next to the statement you have selected. 0: No goals as yet 1-2: Goals set, but no progress is being made 3-4: Goal set, and progress is already being made in a half-hearted way 5-6-7: Goal set, and progress towards the goal is being made in a satisfactory way. 8-9: Beginning to see the goal accomplished; close to achieving the goal 10: Goal accomplished NA: Area not applicable

1.Personal 2. Marriage 3. Family 4. Physical health 5. Mental health 6. Social 7. Vocation / Job 8. Education 9. Recreation / Leisure time 10. Community service 11. Retirement 12. Spiritual

3. GOAL-SETTING QUESTIONS TO REFLECT UPON

Write down answers to each of the following questions. Don't answer Yes or No only, but give the reasons for your answers next to each question.

1. Do you complete the projects you begin?

2. Do you see your goals in your imagination?

3. Do you have some bad habits you canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t seem to break?

4. Do you have the same daydreams over and over about your successes in a given area?

5. Do you usually talk and think about your goals in a positive way?

6. Do you know where you are going in your life?

7. One goal you really want to reach is…

8. If you had a great deal of money you would…

9. You would like to be the kind of person who…

10. A place you would like to visit is…

11. Your life would be better if…

12. If you had the time you would…

13. If you could start over you would….

When you follow a dream that comes from your heart, when you listen and stay true to the Holy Spirit directing your steps, youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re never alone. -

Cecil B. Day

4. RICK WARREN CASE STUDY

Read this case study and reflect on the 3 learning points for you.

Case study: Rick Warren, author of "The Purpose Driven Life" and pastor of Saddleback Church in California. Interviewed by Paul Bradshaw, Rick said: People ask me, what is the purpose of life? My response is: In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We are made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven. One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense. Life is a series of problems: you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ-likeness. This past year has been the greatest year of my life but also the toughest... with my wife, Kay, getting cancer. I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore. Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like two rails on a railroad track, and at all times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how good things are in your life, there is always something bad that needs to be worked on. And no matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems. If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, which is, â&#x20AC;&#x153;my problem, my issues, my pain". But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others. We discovered quickly that in spite of the prayers of hundreds of thousands of people, God was not going to heal Kay or make it easy for her. It has been very difficult for her,

and yet God has strengthened her character, given her a ministry of helping other people, given her a testimony, drawn her closer to Him and to people. You have to learn to deal with both the good and the bad of life. Actually, sometimes learning to deal with the good is harder. For instance, this past year, all of a sudden, when the book sold 15 million copies, it made me instantly very wealthy. It also brought a lot of notoriety that I had never had to deal with before. I don't think God gives you money or notoriety for your own ego or for you to live a life of ease. So I began to ask God what He wanted me to do with this money, notoriety and influence. He gave me two different passages that helped me decide what to do... II Corinthians 9 and Psalm 72. First, in spite of all the money coming in, we would not change our lifestyle one bit. We made no major purchases. Second, about midway through last year, I stopped taking a salary from the church. Third, we set up foundations to fund an initiative we call 'The Peace Plan' to plant churches, equip leaders, assist the poor, care for the sick, and educate the next generation. Fourth, I added up all that the church had paid me in the 24 years since I started the church, and I gave it all back. It was liberating to be able to serve God for free. We need to ask ourselves: Am I going to live for possessions? Popularity? Am I going to be driven by pressures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes (for my life)? When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, "God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know You more and love You better." God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than in what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings. Happy moments, PRAISE GOD. Difficult moments, SEEK GOD. Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD. Painful moments, TRUST GOD. Every moment, THANK GOD. Some food for thought:

•

What is it you think is impossible in your ministry today, but if it were possible, would change the whole dimension of your ministry?

•

How does a leader get a person from where he is to where he has never been?

•

How does motivation facilitate goal setting?

•

How can a leader plan ahead?

•

Some people are drifters, some failures and some winners. What makes them different?

To summarise the statement by Rick Warren: •

Purpose 1: You were planned for God’s purpose.

•

Purpose 2: You were formed for God’s family.

•

Purpose 3: You were created to become like Christ.

•

Purpose 4: You were shaped for serving God.

•

Purpose 5: You were made for a mission.

5. THE SILENT KILLERS OF GOAL DERAILMENT

Please tick those factors you are currently experiencing in your life 18

Bitterness 1.

Resentment

Hatred

Unforgiveness

Violence

Temper

Anger

Retaliation

Murder

Rebellion 9.

Self-will

10 . 11 . 12 .

Stubbornness Disobedience

Contention Bickering Argument Quarrelling

18 . 19 .

Possessiveness Dominance

Retaliation 20 . 21 . 22 . 23 . 24 .

37 . 38 . 39 . 40 .

Destruction

41 . 42 . 43 . 44 . 45 .

Hurt Cruelty

Accusation

Loneliness Timidity

46 . 47 . 48 . 49 . 50 .

60 . 61 . 62 . 63 .

Shyness Inadequacy Ineptness

Suspicion Distrust Selfishness

64 . 65 . 66 .

Fantasy Pretension Unreality

Indifference Passivity

67 . 68 . 69 . 70 .

Drugs

71 . 72 . 73 . 74 . 75 . 76 . 77 .

Indifference Listlessness Lethargy

Depression

Morbidity

Gloom Burden Disgust

Anxiety Fear Dread Apprehension

Tension Headaches Nervous habits Restlessness Excitement Insomnia Roving

Sensitiveness 78 . 79 .

Passivity 51 . 52 . 53 .

Insomnia

Nervousness

Sleepiness Alcohol

Death

Worry

Pouting Daydreaming

Depression (2) Suicide

Heaviness

Envy

Escape

Spite Hatred

Self-pity

Withdrawal

Fighting

Control

Inferiority

Jealousy

Antisubmissiveness

Strife 13 . 14 . 15 . 16 . 17 .

Insecurity 30 . 31 . 32 . 33 . 34 . 35 . 36 .

Self-awareness Fear of disapproval

Persecution 80 . 81 . 82 . 83 .

Unfairness Fear of judgement Sensitiveness Fear of condemnation

25 . 26 . 27 .

Judging Criticism Fault finding

Rejection 28 . 29 .

Fear of rejection Self-rejection

54 . 55 . 56 . 57 . 58 . 59 .

Despair Despondency Discouragement Defeatism Dejection Hopelessness

Mental illness 84 . 85 . 86 . 87 . 88 .

Insanity Madness Mania Retardation Senility

Mental illness 89.

Paranoia

90.

Hallucinations

Paranoia 91.

Jealousy

92.

Envy

93.

Suspicion

94.

Distrust

95.

Persecution

96.

Fears

97.

Confrontation Confusion

Pride 121 . 122 . 123 . 124 . 125 . 126 .

Ego Vanity Selfrighteousness Haughtiness Importance

Stealing Kleptomania Material obsessiveness Agreed

98.

Frustration

99.

Incoherence

100 .

Forgetfulness

132 .

Pride

Doubt

133 . 134 . 135 . 136 . 137 . 138 . 139 .

Vanity

101 . 102 .

Unbelief Scepticism Indecision

103 . 104 . 105 . 106 . 107 .

Procrastination Compromise Confusion

Self-deception 108 . 109 . 110 .

Self-delusion Self-seduction

Confusion

Ego Frustration Criticism Irritability

140 . 141 . 142 . 143 .

Anger

Driving Argument Pride Ego

Impatience 144 . 145 .

158 . 159 . 160 . 161 . 162 . 163 . 164 . 165 . 166 .

167 . 168 . 169 . 170 . 171 .

Restlessness Pressure

Coarse jesting Gossip Criticism Backbiting Mockery Belittling Railing Addictive & compulsive Nicotine Alcohol Drugs Medications Caffeine

Gluttony 172 . 173 . 174 . 175 . 176 . 177 . 178 .

Agitation Frustration

Laziness

Cursing

Intolerance

Competition

Pride Mind binding

111 .

Perfection

Forgetfulness Indifference

Discontent

Fatigue Weariness

Hyper- activity

Arrogance

Covetousness 127 . 128 . 129 . 130 . 131 .

156 . 157 .

Nervousness Compulsive eating Resentment Frustration Idleness Self-pity Self-reward

Self-accusation 179 .

Self-hatred

112 .

Fear of failure Mind idolatry

113 . 114 . 115 . 116 .

Intellectualism Rationalisation Pride Ego

Fears (all kinds) 117 Phobias (all . kinds) 118 Hysteria .

Fear of authority 119 Lying . 120 .

146 . 147 . 148 .

Deceit

Intolerance

180 .

Resentment Criticism

Grief 149 . 150 . 151 .

Sorrow

152 . 153 . 154 .

Crying

Heartache

Self-condemnation

Guilt 181 . 182 . 183 . 184 .

Condemnation Shame Unworthiness Embarrassment

Heartbreak

Sadness

Cruel Fatigue

155 .

Tiredness

6. ROLE FEEDBACK: HUSBAND

Purpose To provide for qualitative feedback to plan performance improvement and development plans of action to increase your role and effectiveness as husband in your marriage.

Philosophy Discussions must be done in accordance with the standards of Gods plan for the marriage. Role feedback review process o

Husband prepares a role feedback progress report that deals with the criteria (as appropriate) listed below.

Husband reviews report, adding comments for discussion, and prepares evaluation.

Husband discusses report and role feedback evaluation with his wife.

Plans of action are agreed upon by marriage partners

Role feedback progress review No

Goals

Leader (1 Cor 11: 3) Taken final responsibility for the outcome of the family Provider (1 Tim 5: 8; Deut 6:6-9) Providing for physical as well as spiritual needs Reassurer (Eph 5: 25; I Peter 3: 7) Continually reassure your wife of your love for her and reinforce your faithfulness to your relationship through your actions as well as your words Lover and Protector (Eph 5: 25-28; I Cor 7: 3-5; Ruth 3:9) Be sensitive to your wife’s needs; spirit, soul and body, and a gentle faithful lover Example of God’s heart (Mark 10: 44; Matt 6:14; Mark 16:17-18) A heart for reconciliation, restoration, forgiving, serving and healing Example of God’s sovereignty (Hebrews 3: 13; 2 Cor 10: 5-6) Keep family on track with

Outputs – What has been achieved

Extent to which accomplished ShortAccepfall table

Exceeded

the Lord and take firm, uncompromising stand against sin Intercessor and warrior James 4: 7; James 5: 16) Being chief intercessor for your wife and family

Results achieved in terms of agreed performance standards (The “What” of Performance) State specific accomplishments (results) achieved during the past year a.

………………………………………………………………………………….

Broad summary Based upon the assessment, draw up a list of your strong points as well as concerns (development areas) as a husband. Strong points …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………

Concerns (development areas) …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… 24

Development Plan

Personal coaching and feedback sessions Identify specific improvement areas and frequency of feedback.

Educational The provision of learning experiences to provide broad frameworks (very specific)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………. 3. Anything else …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………

7. ROLE FEEDBACK: WIFE

Purpose To provide for qualitative feedback to plan improvement and development plans of action to increase your role as wife in the marriage. Philosophy Discussions must be done in accordance with the standards of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan for the marriage. Your role feedback and review process o

Wife prepares a role feedback progress report that deals with the criteria (as appropriate) as listed below.

Wife reviews report, adding comments for discussion, and prepares evaluation.

Marriage partners discuss report and performance evaluation with his/her immediate head.

Partners review and discuss results.

Plans of action are agreed upon by marriage partners

Role feedback review No

Goals

Outputs â&#x20AC;&#x201C; What has been achieved

Extent to which accomplished ShortAccepfall table

Exceeded

Supporter (Eph 5: 22-24; 1 Peter 3: 1-2) Respect and honour husband Helper (Gen 2: 18; Proverbs 31: 10-12) Surrounding your husband with support, comfort Administrator (Proverbs 31: 13-27) Skilful and godly administration Reflection of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s love (1 John 4: 19-21: John 13: 35) Cares for husband and family and reflects the

contended heart of a servant. Forgiveness should be quick Lover and companion (1 Cor 7: 3-5; Song of Solomon 2: 16 and 1 Peter 3: 4-6) First ministry is to your husband. Honour and respect him Reflection’s of God’s creativity (I Cor 12: 7 and Titus 2: 3-5) Flow in harmony and your gifts and talents should complement those of your husband Intercessor and discerner (Eph 6: 18 and 1 Thes 5: 17) Do intercession for husband. Ask the Holy spirit to develop discernment within you

Results achieved in terms of agreed standards (The “What” of Performance) State specific accomplishments (results) achieved during the past year. a.

………………………………………………………………………………….

Broad summary Based upon the assessment, draw up a list of your strong points as well as concerns (development areas) as a wife. Strong points 28

Development Plan

Personal coaching and feedback sessions Identify specific improvement areas and frequency of feedback.

Educational The provision of learning experiences to provide broad frameworks (very specific)

…………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………………………………………………. 3. Anything else …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………………………………………………… ……………………………………

8. YOUR PERSONAL ROAD MAP FOR SUCCESS Review every six months

Knowing your purpose My dream is to be

Your top goals : Your top goals, which guide your efforts, govern your priorities, and generate your actions are as follows: Use the following chart to identify goals in different personal areas (as per the Wheel of Life). After you have identified the goals and expected outcomes, assign a priority to them.

General Example

I will loose 15 pounds in weight by the end of November of this year

Priority

− Clothes 2 sizes smaller. − Happy spouse. − Increase in self esteem.

(A, B, C)

SPIRITUAL

EDUCATIONAL

HEALTH

FAMILY

SOCIAL

FINANCIAL

MINISTRY

RECREATIONA L

Goal and Task Chart

Name:

List the tasks associated with each of your goals and include the time frame, resources needed, potential obstacles, measured outcomes, and milestones for each task. Goal Outcome Task 1:

Due Date:

Resources:

Obstacles:

Measured Outcomes:

Milestones:

Task 2:

Due Date:

Resources:

Obstacles:

Measured Outcomes:

Milestones:

Task 3:

Due Date:

Resources:

Obstacles:

Measured Outcomes:

Milestones:

Task 4:

Due Date:

Resources:

Obstacles:

Measured Outcomes:

Milestones:

Task 5:

Due Date:

Resources:

Obstacles:

Measured Outcomes:

Milestones:

Growing to reach my maximum potential I am committed to personal growth and I will dedicate some time a day, five days per week every week to my top goals

Detours I will not give in to life’s DETOURS. They will never stop me from being successful. I will overcome my number one fear, which is:

I will not fear failure. I will live by the following credo ….

I will no longer avoid failure. It is a normal part of life. I will take risks. I will do my best. When I do fail, I will learn from it and move on. Failing is my springboard to success.

Development of my potential I know where I am now in the Development of my potential. When I am on the next level of my development, I will be doing this ….

I will gladly sacrifice the following:

in order to make the next step:

Sowing seeds that benefit others I will do whatever it takes to bring my family along on the success journey. In order to make that happen, I will regularly spend time doing the following with each family member: Name

Activity

As I travel…. As I travel on the success journey, I will take others with me. The three most important people I want to focus my attention on right now are …… 1. 2. 3.

I have set aside …. I have set aside the first (pick a day of the week) of each month for the purpose of planning and mentoring and development of others. The areas on which I will

concentrate that development are ….. Name

Development area

Our Commitment We agree to make the commitment of time and money needed to carry out this Plan of Action. We further agree to meet at the times stated below to review progress towards the achievement of our purpose and goals. This road map will be reviewed every 6 months.

1. Signed: ……………………………….. 2. Signed:………………………….. Date:………………………………….

…………………………………

My mentors are: …………………………………………………………………. Progress Reviews

Date:

Time:

Success is a journey. What do you like best about the trip? Source: John Maxwell

TIME TO REFLECT: SETTING

S M A R T

GOALS

S PECIFIC – A specific goal has a much greater chance of being accomplished than a general goal. Example: a general goal would be “Get in shape”. But a specific goal would say, “Join a health club and work out 3 days a week”.

M EASURABLE

– Establish concrete criteria for measuring progress towards the

attainment of each goal you set. To determine whether your goal is measurable, ask questions such as: How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?

A TTAINABLE – When you identify goals that are most important to you, you begin to figure out ways in which you can make them happen. You develop the attitudes, abilities, skills and financial capacity to reach them. You begin seeing previously overlooked opportunities to bring yourself closer to the achievement of your goals. When you list your goals you build your self-image. You see yourself as worthy of these goals, and develop the traits and personality that allow you to possess them.

R EALISTIC – To be realistic, a goal must represent an objective towards which you are both willing and able to work. A goal can be both high and realistic; you are the only one who can decide just how high your goal should be. Your goal is probably realistic if you truly believe that it can be accomplished.

T IME

BASED and TANGIBLE – A goal is tangible when you can experience it

with one of the senses, that is, taste, touch, smell, sight and hearing. When your goal is tangible, or when you tie a tangible goal to an intangible goal, you have a better chance of making it specific and measurable and thus attainable. If your goal has a time limit attached to it, you are most liable to achieve it.

With thanks to Anthony D’Souza

9. INTEGRATED GOAL-SETTING CONTRACT

My Development Area The specific area you want to develop:

My Objective Your broad objective / What you would like to achieve:

My Milestones My milestones / specific targets by which I will measure my improvement:

My Problems Possible barriers, resistance etc. I may encounter:

My Solutions My solutions to avoid or deal with these problems:

My Activities My list of sequenced steps to bring about the desired

Time required

By when

change:

My Resources Requirements People, time, materials, equipment etc. I will need:

My Benefits This is the added value I will achieve:

Our Commitment We agree to make the commitment of time needed to carry out this Plan of Action. We further agree to meet at the times stated below to review progress towards the achievement of milestones and objectives. This plan will be modified as may be needed.

1. Signed: ……………………………….. 2. Signed:………………………….. Date:………………………………….

………………………………...

Progress Reviews Date:

Time:

SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT

•

Our plans miscarry if they have no aim. When you do not know what harbour you are making for, no wind is the right wind. Seneca

•

START: It’s the start that stops most people.

•

A journey of a thousand miles must begin with a single step. Lao-tzu

•

Obstacles come to instruct, not obstruct. Allen Schneeberger

•

The man without a purpose is like a ship without a rudder - a waif, a nothing, a no man. Have a purpose in life, and, having it, throw such strength of mind and muscle into your work as God has given you. Thomas Carlyle

•

A person dies when he stops dreaming . Fear not that you shall die. Fear rather that you shall stop living before you die. Dr Robert Schuller

•

Without vision there is no direction, without direction there is no purpose, without purpose there are no targets, without targets, there are no priorities, without priorities, there is no plan and without a plan there is no hope. Dr David Cormack

•

Good business leaders create a vision, articulate the vision, passionately own the vision, and relentlessly drive it to completion. Jack Welch

•

Helen Keller was asked: “What would be worse than being born blind?” She replied: “To have sight without vision”. Do you have a clear personal vision statement for yourself, your team, and your organisation?

•

You need constantly to stretch yourself to new objectives, in your personal life, but also in your spiritual life. John Maxwell said: “People and rubber bands have one thing in common: They must be stretched to be effective".

•

It may not be your fault for being down, but it’s got to be your fault for not getting up. Steve Davis

10. REGULAR ACCOUNTABILITY DISCUSSIONS

Questions to start off the discussion: 1.

How has God blessed you in the last month? (What went right?)

What problem has consumed your thoughts in the last month? (What

went wrong?)

Spiritual life: 1.

Have you read Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Word daily? (For how long? Why not? Will you

do so next week?) 2.

Describe your prayers. (For yourself, others, praise, confession,

gratitude) 3.

How is your relationship with Christ changing?

How have you been tempted this week? How did you respond?

Do you have any unconfessed sin in your life?

Are you walking in the spirit?

Did you worship in church this week? (Was your faith in Jesus

strengthened? Was He honoured?) 8.

Have you shared your faith? In what ways? How can you improve?

Home life: 1.

How are things going with your wife/husband? (Attitudes, time, irritations, disappointments, progress, her/his relationship with Christ).

How are things going with the kids? (Quantity and quality of time, values and beliefs, education, spiritual welfare)

How are your finances doing? (Debt, sharing, saving, stewardship)

Work life:

How are things going at work? (Career progress, relationships, temptations, workload, stress, problems, working too much)

Critical concerns: 1.

Do you feel in the centre of God’s will? Do you sense His peace?

What are you wrestling with in your thought life?

What have you done for someone else this week? (The poor, encouragement, service)

Are your priorities in the right order?

Is your moral and ethical behaviour what it should be?

How are you doing in your personal high-risk area?

Is the “visible” you and the “real” you consistent in this relationship?

Source: Unknown

11. ACCOUNTABILITY PARTNER OR COACH SUMMARY 43

Accountability partner or coach:

Your name :

Date of meeting: Things I need to: Initiate Main-tain let goStop or

My learnings since the last meeting:

General notes:

My objectives for the next period:

Special projects

Date of next meeting:

Some food for thought: • Don’t worry saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear?' ………………... But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness………………. Matthew 6:31-33 • A goal is a statement of what you want to achieve in life. • Without some kind of deadline, most goals never go from dream to reality… • Goal setting is simply writing down your dreams, crystallizing your thinking, and then developing a plan with a deadline for attainment. – Peter Drucker • Does your goal support your Christian values? • “Commit your way to the Lord and your plans will succeed.” Proverb 16:3 • Until you commit your goals to paper your intentions are seeds without soil. Zig Ziglar Life's Five Greatest Questions Q1. W hat will be the centre of your life? èWorship Him Q2. W hat will be the character of your life? èDiscipleship Q3. W hat will be the contribution of your life? èService Q4. W hat will be the communication of your life? èEvangelism Q5. W hat will be the community of your life? èFellowship

12. FURTHER PRACTICAL APPLICATION

Your self-talk: •

Write down how you talk to yourself when you succeed. 45

•

Write down how you talk to yourself when, occasionally, you fail.

•

We need to learn to control our self-talk to be positive and constructive.

Who are you? •

What is your philosophy of life? Why are you on this earth?

•

What are your overall life objectives?

•

For what reason do you live? What are your deepest aspirations?

Where are you going? •

Which values and principles lead you to this path?

•

What are your long-term ambitions? What do you want to achieve? Where do you go from? What do you want to realise? What do you stand for? What do you believe in?

•

What are your ideals? Which key roles do you want to fulfil?

Which factors make you unique? •

What is decisive for your personal success?

•

Which factors in your personal mission, vision, and key roles are essential to the realisation of your personal objectives?

•

What are your most important competences?

Which personal results do you want to achieve? •

Which measurable short-term personal results do you want to achieve?

How can you measure your personal results? •

What makes your personal objectives measurable?

•

Which values do you have to obtain?

•

What are your targets?

How do you want to achieve the results? •

How can you realise your personal objectives?

•

Which improvement actions do you need to take to achieve them?

•

How do you see to it that you learn continuously?

Mistakes •

Messages about life 46

•

Interruptions to reflect and think

•

Signposts to the right direction

•

Tests to push to greater maturity

•

Awakenings to keep us mentally alert

•

Keys to open new opportunities

•

Explorations to new horizons

•

Statements of our growth and progress

What failure is not: •

Failure is not avoidable

•

Failure is not absence of a state of well-being

•

Failure is not an enemy

•

Failure is not fatal

•

Failure is not final

•

Failure is not irreversible

•

Failure is not an objective

•

Failure is not a sin

•

Failure is not a stigma

13. FURTHER PRACTICAL APPLICATION: DOING YOUR PERSONAL SW OT ANALYSIS

•

What is GOLDEN about you as a person?

•

What do you do well, what makes you stand out and what are you known for?

•

What are your assets? What are your advantages/credentials?

•

What experience do you have?

•

What looks a bit RUSTY about your way of doing things?

•

Where are you not focused right now? Where are you losing your edge?

•

What do you need?

•

What can you do better? What is done badly? What could be improved?

•

Where is the BLUE SKY and opportunities in your life?

•

What new needs of the people could you meet?

•

Are there opportunities to cooperate with other like-minded people? What could be developed?

•

What are good chances for you? What community contacts or alliances do you currently have?

•

Where are the RED ALERTS in your life right now?

•

Where are you vulnerable? What problems are you currently having that may develop into crises?

•

What current opportunities may soon disappear and never come your way again?

•

Where are you “under pressure”?

•

What obstacles do you face?

14. FUNDAMENTAL PARENTING PRINCIPLES

1 – Strongly disagree 2 – Slightly disagree and very often not true of me 3 – Uncertain 4 – Slightly agree and often true of me 5 – Strongly agree Leave statement blank only if it is definitely not applicable at this stage at all 1 A 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

B 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20

C 21

In the beginning.......... I am raising my children with love and affirmation. I was not wounded or am not still angered by the way I was parented. I treat my parents with respect, recognition and esteem. I was not disciplined in anger and the concept of discipline is therefore not difficult for me. I have completely forgiven my parents for the mistakes they made. As a parent I am passing God’s blessings on to my children and their children. I have released my parents from any judgements I may still be holding against them. I can honestly say that I have been healed from my wounded past in the way that I was parented. There is no rebellion in my own heart against my parents. I grew up (with/without one or both parents) but have never experienced any feelings of abandonment or anger. It takes two.................... I am preparing my children for their destiny. Our house is not divided against itself. My children can count on my relationship as the basis for the family. Our family life is based on stability and security. The foundation of our family lies in mature, healthy and holy ways. Our family is a secure place where our children can live and grow. Manipulation, control and intimidation are not part of my parenting role. Both parents are in agreement about how we will work together as a team in parenting our children. My children know that they will never have to face the break-up of our family. We have invested blessings in our children so that they will have an inheritance that will overflow into the lives of their children. Treasuring I treat my children as unique.

22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30

I know how to treasure the unique temperaments of my children. I know what the spiritual gifts of my children are. I know in what ways my children express and receive love. I love my children unconditionally. My love for my children is such that it isn’t easily angered and doesn’t provoke the children to anger. My love for my children is beyond measure and I valued them as a special gift of God. I have set healthy boundaries to protect our children. I have a true relationship with God, which makes it easy to treasure my children. I don’t cause hardship, rejection, pain and discouragement in my children.

Investing

I am investing a significant amount of time in my children (for example love, care, discipline, effort and excellence). My children know that I am there for them, for example, when they participate in sport, receive awards, need help with their homework and when they struggle with tough decisions in their life. I am there for my children, i.e. spend a significant amount of time in one-on-one interaction with my children. I invest in my children’s lives with the positive words I speak. I am a parent who speaks life in my children’s ears. I can honestly say that I treat my children the way I wish to be treated. My character as parent reflects God’s nature. As parent I listen more than talk and teach more than preach. My children can best learn to deal with feelings from the way I share and handle my own feelings. My emotional health is sound and they can do as I do and not as I say. I am setting a godly example, as the first picture children see of God is their parents.

33 34 35 36 37 38 39

40 E

Training

I have trained my children to develop a godly character. (These godly characteristics are love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.) My relationship with my children provides the bridge for sound communication, understanding and growing together. Our rules do not foster rebellion, and fit the maturity of the children.

42 43

44 45 46 47 48

49 50

The boundaries I set as parent are healthy and focus on the do’s instead of the don’ts. I am the greatest bridge to God for my children and not the greatest barrier to my children reaching God. My children can honestly say that I have treated them consistently. I am very proactive in my prayers and intercede for my children. My style of teaching is not manipulation or domination, in other words not to get my children to do what is best for me instead of what is best for them. I have taught my children the absolute truth, and that a lie is a lie and that it is true for all people at all times and at all places. I have released my children to be creative, curious, and inventive and to explore and seek the truth.

Discipline

I have not exercised parental authority in a heavyhanded way. I set boundaries in advance and I spell out in advance the consequences of overstepping those boundaries. I don’t normally react emotionally in anger when disciplining my children. My discipline to my children is to train, teach and correct their behaviour to develop a godly character in them. My discipline results in repentance at the end of the day. My discipline is accompanied by forgiveness. I am consistent in applying the consequences previously stated to my children. I discipline my children in such a way that they will prosper materially, personally and spiritually. I don’t hold any unforgiveness towards my own parents for the way that I was disciplined. My discipline is not punishment to hurt or crush my children’s spirit and therefore not punitive and retaliatory.

52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60

G 61 62 63 64

Teaching I am teaching my children various scriptures from the Word of God. I am teaching my children to obey and respect authority. I am teaching my children what God’s ways are about the situations in life and who they are in Christ. I am teaching my children the laws of love and to love others, and that they can watch me as a parent expressing love to others.

65 66 67 68 69 70 H 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86

I am teaching my children to pray, and they can see/ watch me praying. I am teaching my children to take responsibility for their feelings and emotions. Through my teaching I am not creating a blaming, victim mentality in my children. I am teaching them to take problem-solving steps that will eventually lead them out of the problems into solutions, and to make the right decisions. I am teaching my children to distinguish between wants and needs. I am teaching my children to choose blessing rather that cursing. Release I as parent donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t struggle to release my children. I am really helping my children to grow and mature so that the final release into adulthood will be a blessing. In order to release my children, I am training them to be able to handle money and a budget responsibly. In order to release my children, I am training them to work as volunteers or for money with integrity and productivity. In order to release my children, I am training them to take responsibility for their feelings, thoughts and behaviour. In order to release my children, I am training them to keep promises, fulfil contracts and to discipline themselves. In order to release my children, I am training them to be your friend, confidant and colleague in your ministry. In order to release my children, I am training them to be able to serve others humbly and effectively. In order to release my children, I am training them to be able to pray, minister, share, and study the Scriptures and be a witness of their faith. In order to release my children, I am training them to be able to choose trusted friends who edify and encourage them. In order to release my children, I am training them to be able to consistently make the right decisions. I have worked hard to make my children interdependent on each other. I am training my children to be good stewards as compared to good consumers. My children can see that I imitate Jesus and say and do pure things. I help my children to be focused and that trials and tribulations are their passages to the next level of prosperity and success. I teach my children how to manage money, and have been an example to them of how to handle

87 88 89 90 I 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110

money. I am making my house a building block of the church. I am gradually increasing my childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s responsibility and privileges over the years. I am sowing into my children that they can bear fruit and sow seed into their children. I am enhancing my relationship with my children and we have a vibrant life together. Destiny I can honestly say that I have done my best to help my children to reach their destiny. I have learnt to assess my childrenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s temperament, love, language, spiritual gifts and learning styles. My children know that God has a unique plan for them. I am encouraging my children to exceed beyond themselves, launching them into greatness I am coaching and cast visions for my children. I am guiding my children to reach their God-given call. I am depositing courage, bravery, boldness and assertiveness in my children. I am successfully mentoring my children in managing money wisely and avoiding credit cards and debt. I am successfully mentoring my children in buying and selling things. I am successfully mentoring my children in developing and staying in a covenant relationship one day. I am successfully mentoring my children that they have to parent their children in the ways of God. I am successfully mentoring my children in working productively and responsibly. I am successfully mentoring my children in serving and worshiping God. I am successfully mentoring my children in utilising their gifts and talents for the Kingdom of God. I am successfully mentoring my children in making the right decisions and growing through wrong ones. I am successfully mentoring my children in choosing and keeping godly friends. I am successfully mentoring my children in living a pure life joyfully. I am successfully mentoring my children in prospering in every aspect of life. I am an invaluable counsellor and mentor to my children as they grow into courtship, marriage and parenting. I am leaving a legacy behind that includes good financial management as well as teaching Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s truth to my children. 53

Section

Meaning

Section A Section B Section C: Section D Section E Section F Section G Section H Section I

In the beginning It takes two Treasuring Investing Training Discipline Teaching Release Destiny

Total score

Percentage

out

of 100

This tool is designed to help you to improve on your parenting role. Reflect on each section and make a note of the most important insight or idea that you have taken away from the assessment. Determine how to apply the key learnings to your own unique setting, as well the actions you will take in response. Make a commitment and complete the following success contract. AS A RESULT OF YOUR COMPLETING THIS PARENTING SURVEY, WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO More of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Less of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Differently? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Faster? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Better? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

Signed:

Date:

15. FUNDAMENTAL QUESTIONS FOR STRATEGIC GOAL SETTING FOR YOUR MINISTRY

This section is included here as many people are also directly involved as volunteers in various ministries where they need to do some serious goal setting every year. These questions will help you to raise the bar of excellence in your ministry and to set some high goals for such a ministry.

Discover â&#x20AC;&#x201C; strengths and potential Highpoint 1. Thinking back over your time in your ministry, tell a story about a high point, a time when you felt you made a significant and immensely rewarding contribution to the growth and leadership and development of the ministry. Describe this interaction with the team members, why the learning was significant, the role you played, and the outcomes and impact. Why is it memorable for you? How did it make you feel and what did you learn about yourself? Value of self 2. Without being modest, describe what you value about yourself â&#x20AC;&#x201C; as a person, work colleague, family member. Be clear about the strengths you bring to your ministry and to the team.

Value of work 3. What do you value about the nature of the work you do in the ministry? How does it fit in with your values and personal sense of purpose?

Leadership - a role model 4. Tell a story about a time when you experienced or observed outstanding leadership in action; a time when key aspects (qualities and practices) of good leadership came alive for you. What happened and who was involved? What did this person do and which of his or her personal qualities became evident in the situation?

Environmental scan

5. In considering the following, what 3 - 5 key trends are currently affecting your ministry or will significantly affect it in the next 5 - 10 years? a. Political trends - local and global, hopeful or challenging ….

b. Economic and business trends - local and global, hopeful or challenging ….

c. Social/demographic trends - local and global, hopeful or challenging ….

d. Technological trends - local and global, hopeful or challenging ….

e. Environmental trends - local and global, hopeful or challenging ….

DREAM – about future possibilities 6. Given the trends that are likely to impact your ministry, and your experience of leadership, imagine the ideal leader of the future – a person must be able to both impact as well as respond appropriately to what is emerging or called for. What are the 5 key values of such a leader? What is important to him/her as a person?

What is notable about his/her relationship with/beliefs about himself/herself?

What is distinctive about his/her relationship with others?

What functional competencies does he/she have that significantly support his/her operational, organisational and strategic leadership?

What does he/she know and understand in order to engage successfully with the broader community/environment?

Calling 7. What then does your ministry require from you? In one sentence describe the purpose of your ministry.

Design – The ministry of the future What would you introduce or design to better meet the needs of your ministry of the future?

PERSONAL ANNUAL HEARTBEAT QUESTIONS FOR MINISTRY LEADERS •

What is complicating your ministry right now?

•

What keeps you awake at night about your ministry?

•

What inspires you/makes you tick about your ministry?

•

What are some of the indicators of high vitality in your life?

•

What gives your spirit, mind, heart and body energy?

•

What are the dreams/ fears that you have for your ministry?

•

What would you like to be remembered for?

•

Discuss your unfolding strategy, i.e. the things (top priorities) that the ministry needs to: Let go. Stop Maintain Initiate

•

If you could change anything in the ministry, what would it be?

•

(Yourself, team, organisation)

FURTHER TEAM HEARTBEAT QUESTIONS FOR MINISTRY LEADERS 1.

What are the skills, gifts, talents and competences you bring to the ministry?

What is stopping your ministry from delivering peak performance, and why?

What are the conflict areas that are hampering peak performance?

If you were in the position of the team leader of the ministry, what would you want to do differently and why?

If there were any message you would like to give to the ministry team, what would it be?

The blue ocean ministry strategies:

•

Eliminate

•

Reduce

•

Create

•

Raise

REAL- TIME FINE-TUNING: FUTURE SITUATION Which group of people will the ministry serve in the future?

Through what channels will the ministry reach those people in future?

What will be the future unique advantage of the ministry?

What skills or capabilities will make the ministry unique in future?

What future competencies will make the ministry succeed?

What future attitudes will be essential for success for the ministry?

What will be necessary to ensure great future performance for the ministry?

What are the past traditions that the ministry will have to abandon urgently?

What will the ministry have to do in future to ensure adequate innovation?

16. DISCOVER GODâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;S PLAN FOR YOUR MARRIAGE

General instructions: 1. Sincere honesty is of the utmost importance in answering the questionnaire. 2. Answer the questions as you are experiencing them at present. 3. Avoid giving an answer which you think ought to be the correct answer. 4. Complete the questionnaire without consulting your spouse. 5. There are no right or wrong answers. 6. The questionnaire is confidential. It serves as a basis for honest self-examination

and for consultation and follow-up, if necessary. 7. Both spouses are requested to complete the questionnaire separately. Please use

a pen. 8. Each question is to be completed by using the points system as indicated below:

Agree wholeheartedly

Agree

Uncertain

Do not agree

Do not agree at all

9. Do not hesitate or be afraid to use any of the above. 10. Ideally this questionnaire should be repeated from time to time to establish where

you stand at that moment and to measure the spiritual growth in your marital happiness (satisfaction). 11. Achieving satisfaction in marriage is an ongoing process and one needs to work at

it continually. 12. Choose and complete only the applicable category in section C. Also complete the

actions on the effectiveness of your spouse in his/her role.

1. 2.

SECTION A We understand and uphold the full implications of our marriage vows. We are fully responsible and loyal towards each other.

Points

3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9.

We are prepared to put the interests of our spouse first. We are faithful to each other. We support each other and do not belittle each other. We act in unity. Our possessions (riches as well as debts) are shared equally. We have both been saved and have made a personal commitment. Our individual lives (self) are no longer a priority; we do not maintain

10.

independent lifestyles. We live for, honour and cherish each other. T otal Section A

11. 12. 13. 14.

SECTION B Spouses complement each other, rather than compete against each other. My spouse is a true help, an equal and a support in our marriage. We act in unity and complement each other. We work very well together despite our personalities, background and

15. 16. 17. 18. 19.

differences. We do not concentrate on each otherâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s weaknesses. Silence and sabotage are not part of our lives. Christ Jesus is truly the foundation and centre of our marriage. Neither spouse is selfish or self-centred. Both husband and wife cling to each other (in mind, body and soul) and are

20.

therefore one. Our value system is evidence of the fact that we are loving and indulgent towards each other and honour each other.

Total Section B

SECTION C Husband Regularly assure her of my love for

W ife Respect

22.

her, and honour her. Love and faithfulness are shown by

husband. Support husband, honour and

23. 24.

deeds. Love and cherish wife. Comforter, and sensitive

obey him. Voice constructive criticism. Respect husbandâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s authority

the

and

honour

guidance of the Holy Spirit in our

and assist in his development.

25.

lives. Sensitive in approach and act with

Support husband in decision

26.

empathy. Fulfil role as leader and manager of

making. Assist with true support.

27.

the home. Fulfil leadership position with sincere

Provide necessary encourage-

28. 29. 30. 31.

love. Listen to wife’s advice and wisdom. Provide in physical needs. Provide in spiritual needs. Primary source of spiritual guidance

ment. Give necessary comfort. Conduct administration well. Pray and do regular Bible study. Serve the Lord and seek His

32.

and teaching. Lead family members on the way to

face in spirit and truth. Care for husband and family.

33.

salvation. Always ready for reconciliation and

Forgive immediately.

34.

restoration. Feeling of joy and peace in the

Do not demoralise husband with

35. 36.

home. Lover and true protector. Sensitive to the needs of the family.

words. Wonderful lover. Well-groomed and home well

37.

Minister to the family regularly from

cared for. Honour and respect husband

38.

the Word. Take strong stand against sin. Life

and compliment him often. In tune with husband.

39. 40.

reflects this. Reprimand lovingly and patiently. Lead in prayer and conduct spiritual

Intercede regularly for husband. Attributes and talents

warfare.

complement husband. Total Section C

Total Section C

41. 42. 43. 44. 45.

SECTION D We are actively involved in sowing life-giving seeds into people’s lives. Our words, lifestyle and deeds are evidence of the good seeds we sow. Undesirable seeds and wrongful deeds have been uprooted. We sow the words and characteristics of Jesus Christ in each other’s life. We are mindful of what we say and how we speak to each other (the

46.

power of the tongue). Our thoughts are reflected in actions which are proper, pure, beautiful and

47. 48. 49. 50.

praiseworthy. Wrong deeds are never brought up again. If we have wronged each other, we confess immediately. Peace and harmony are continually sown. The fruits that are sown are love, joy, peace, friendliness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness and self-control. To tal Section D SECTION E

51. 52. 53. 54. 55. 56.

Forgiveness is a vital part of our lives. We have absolved each other completely in word and deed. We do not remind each other of past transgressions. No bitterness is evident in either spouse. We do not cling to past transgressions. Each spouse has done thorough self-examination for any sign of

57. 58. 59. 60.

unforgiveness. True and complete reconciliation is quickly achieved. Spouses love each other continuously and unconditionally. There is no sign of unforgiveness in our lives. We strive for love and peace, rather than keep count of wrongdoings. To tal Section E

61. 62. 63. 64. 65.

SECTION F We are sure of Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s plan for our marriage. We have beautiful dreams for our marriage and live them. We truly seek His face regarding the future of our spouse and children. We have a definite vision for marriage. We are sensitively tuned in to hear Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s vision for our lives and to carry it

66. 67. 68.

out. We trust each other. We strive towards fulfilling our vision of faith for our marriage. We have reached a stage where we regard each other according to the

69. 70.

Scriptures. We are sensitive to respond to Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s instructions regarding each other. We believe and confess verbally the various aspects contained in our vision for our marriage.

Total Section F

71. 72. 73. 74. 75. 76. 77. 78.

SECTION G Praying together cements our marriage. We have regular times of praying together. Praying together helps us to understand each other better. We use the time of praying to hone our spiritual warfare skills. Praying together does not only occur in times of crisis. We are not bashful to pray out loud. Our prayers are not used to convey messages or criticism to each other. Praying together is a golden opportunity to make known to our Lord Jesus

79.

our desires and needs. When we pray together we focus on interceding for specific persons and

80.

situations. We regularly decide together on the things about which we want to pray together.

Total Section G

81. 82. 83. 84. 85. 86. 87. 88. 89. 90.

SECTION H Our marriage is characterised by harmony. Peace reigns in our home. There is very little strife. Decision making is based on consensus. We test whether our decisions are in agreement with the Word of God. We do not blame each other for our failures. God’s will is our basis for reaching agreement. No action is taken unless we have reached agreement. We are in complete harmony with each other. We wait and pray together about the decisions we have to take. Total Section H

91.

SECTION I We are familiar with the way in which the nine gifts of the Holy Spirit work

92. 93. 94.

in our marriage. We are willing vessels through which the gifts of the Holy Spirit work. The gifts are manifested and are often in operation in our home. The atmosphere in our home leads itself to the operation of the gifts

95. 96. 97. 98. 99.

through either spouse. We regularly pray together with our children (where applicable). We as spouses truly expect that the gifts will flow through our home. We complement each other in the working of the gifts. The words we use are spiritually uplifting, encouraging and comforting. We are sensitive to the Holy Spirit and are available to be used with regard

100.

to any of the gifts. Praying together helps us to come together in the gifts. Total Section I

101. 102.

SECTION J We enjoy truly intimate sexual fulfilment. Our sexual intimacy is not characterised by self-centredness or self-

103.

satisfaction. This is an area in which we as spouses were hurt or disappointed, but the

104. 105. 106.

process of healing has been completed. We have a healthy approach to sexual intimacy. Spouses make time to fulfil each other’s sexual needs. Our sexual love is refreshing and energising and we give more than we

107.

take. Our thoughts are not filled by the world’s image of sexual love, e.g. pornography, advertisements, the wrong type of film, lust etc. 66

108. 109.

Spouses respond to sexual intimacy and love each other. In our sexual relationship we do not do anything that would hurt or defile

110.

each other. It is easy to love and cherish each other. Total Section J

111. 112.

SECTION K In the area of spiritual warfare we are finely tuned and alert. Defensive spiritual warfare is our weapon against possible dangers that

113. 114. 115. 116. 117. 118. 119.

could penetrate our marriage. We pray and intercede on a regular basis. The Word is the sword of the Spirit and we walk in it daily. We are strong in faith, and doubt and fear have been warded off. We constantly walk in peace. We praise and worship to silence the enemy. We are united in spiritual warfare. We acknowledge the authority given by God and act in the power of the

120.

blood of Jesus Christ which was shed for us. We are spiritually alert and patrol our fences daily, heed warnings and do something about them. Total Section K

121. 122.

SECTION L We are honest, open and transparent towards each other. Ungodly life patterns of the past have been confessed and spouses have

123.

forgiven each other. Present life patterns have been evaluated and Godâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s standard is our

124. 125. 126.

measure for change. Our marriage is a lighthouse to others. Sin no longer has a hold on our lives. Sensitive issues regarding hidden transgressions of the past have been

127. 128. 129. 130.

successfully dealt with. We do not allow undesirable behaviour to influence our lives. We do not hide secrets from each other. We live in victory. Our times of prayer and devotion have improved.

Total Section L

131.

Section M We have a sound marriage and we can reach out to bless others.

132.

Our marriage is characterised by fruit-bearing seeds which we can sow in

133. 134. 135. 136.

the lives of others. Our Christian and married life bears witness to a victorious lifestyle. We know how to share spiritual blessings with others. We have a passion to serve and encourage others spiritually. Our home can serve as an oasis of peace for those who are lost and a

137. 138. 139.

beacon of light for those searching the truth. Spouses already operate successfully within a specific ministry. We earnestly aspire to greater heights in our spiritual life. The process of inner healing has been completed and now it is easy to

140.

reach out to and serve others. We continuously strive to grow spiritually in order to reach greater spiritual heights.

Total Section M Score each question as follows: Agree wholeheartedly (strong)

= W; that is + 2 Points

Agree

= A; that is + 1 Points

Uncertain

= O; that is 0 Points

Do not agree

= N; that is -1 Points

Do not agree at all

= G; that is -2 Points

Add the scores in each section. Section

Meaning

Section A Section B Section C: Section C: Section D Section E Section F Section G Section H Section I

Covenant One flesh Role: husband Role: wife Sowing and reaping Forgiveness Faith, vision and trust Praying together Agreement Flowing together in the

Total score

Percentage

out

of 100

Section J Section K Section L Section M

spirit Intimacy Spiritual warfare Life patterns One-flesh ministry

This tool is designed to help you to improve your marriage. Reflect on each section and make a note of the most important insight or idea that you took away from that assessment. Determine how to apply the key learnings to your own unique setting, as well as the actions you will take in response. Make a commitment and complete the following success contract. AS A RESULT OF YOU COMPLETING THIS MARRIAGE SURVEY, WHAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO More of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Less of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Differently? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Faster? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ 69

____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Better? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

Signed:

Date:

17: GOD’S PROMISES AND CHALLENGES FOR FINISHING WELL

The following scriptures are extremely important and non-negotiable promises to help us to maintain and sustain high levels of goal setting in our lives. Go through these as often as you can and affirm them every time you work through your goal-setting discussions and dialogues. •

I run straight to the goal with purpose in every step. I am not like a boxer who misses his punches. I Corinthians 9: 26.

•

My life is worth nothing unless I use it for doing the work assigned me by the Lord Jesus. Acts 20: 24.

•

The Lord will work out his plans for my life. Psalm 138: 8.

•

Guide my steps by your words, so I will not be overcome by any evil. Psalm 119: 133.

•

Lead me in the right path, O Lord… Tell me clearly what to do, and show me which way to turn. Psalm 5:8.

•

Though I fall; I will rise again. Though I sit in darkness, the Lord himself will be my light. Micah: 7: 8.

•

Commit your work to the Lord, and then your plans will succeed. Proverbs 16: 3.

•

Search me O God, and know my heart; test me and know my thoughts. Point out anything in me that offends you and lead me along the path of everlasting life. Psalm 139: 23-24.

•

Whatever you do, do well . Ecclesiastes: 9: 10.

•

This should be your ambition: to live a quiet life, minding your own business and working with your hands, just as we commanded you before. 1 Corinthians 4: 11.

•

Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people… The Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward. Colossians 3: 23-24.

•

Unless you are faithful in small matters, you won’t be faithful in large ones. Luke 16:10.

•

Follow the Lord’s rules for doing his work , just as an athlete either follows the rules or is disqualified and wins no prize. 2 Timothy 2:5.

•

Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them. Ephesians 4:29.

•

Don’t get tired of doing what is good . Don’t get discouraged and give up, we will reap a harvest or blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9.

•

I cry out to God most high, to God who will fulfil his purpose for me. Psalm 57: 2.

•

Seek His will in all you do, and he will direct your path. Proverbs 3:6.

•

Fix your thoughts on what is true and honourable and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely and admirable. Philippians 4:8.

•

I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing. John 15:5.

•

Don’t get tired of doing what is good . Don’t get discouraged and give up, for we will reap a harvest of blessing at the appropriate time. Galatians 6:9.

•

Work for six days , and rest on the seventh …I will … allow the people of your household to be refreshed. Exodus 23:12.

•

Be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9.

•

Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust him, and he will help you. Psalm 37:5.

18. YOUR CIRCLE OF INFLUENCE

Within your circle of influence are hundreds of men and women searching for new ideas. They need someone with the ability to see things in a new way and to offer them a glimpse of such a reality. This workbook is designed to help you develop your goalsetting skills so that you can take what you have learned and apply it where you live and work. Reflect on each exercise and the insights into and reaction to each exercise and make a note of the most important insight or idea that you took away from those exercises. Determine how to apply the key learnings to your own unique setting, as well the actions you will take in response. Make a commitment and complete the following success contract and share it with people close to you.

AS A RESULT OF YOU READING THIS WORKBOOK, W HAT DO YOU PLAN TO DO More of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Less of? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Differently? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Faster? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ Better? ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

Signed:

Date:

19. REFERENCES AND ACKNOW LEDGEMENTS

My views, insights and conclusions about this workbook stem also from my extensive reading of the work of the authors acknowledged below. It has been very useful in validating my ideas, theories and concepts, as well as providing further insight and viewpoints, and I would like to express my sincere thanks and appreciation to these authors. •

Careful attention has been given to making the necessary acknowledgements.

•

We welcome your comments as well as any input regarding recognition or references that we may have omitted inadvertently.

•

Please be assured of our bona fides in this regard.

•

Do not hesitate to point out any oversights of this nature so that we can make the necessary changes as soon as possible for future editions.

Buford, Bob. 1994. Half Time. Zondervan Publishing House. Buford, Bob. 1997. Game plan. Zondervan Publishing House. Buford, W. 2004. Finishing well. Integrity Publishers. De Souza, Anthony. 1994. Developing the leader within you. OM Books, India. Farrar, Steve. 1995. Finishing strong. Multnomah Publisers, Inc. Lawrence, Tony. 2005. Goal setting, goal achievement notes. Singapore Training. Maxwell, John, C. 2002. Your roadmap for success. Thomas Nelson, Inc. Oommen, Tom. 2004. Haggai Notes, India. Ortberg, John. 2005. The life you’ve always wanted. New Holland Publishing. Osteen, Joel. 2004. Your best life now. Warner Books. Special recognition to the following Haggai faculty: Jaime Penalba, Frank Farag

20. CLOSING COMMENTS

If you are not making the progress you’d like to make and are capable of making, it is simply because your goals are not clearly defined. Paul J.

Meyers Here is the test to find whether your mission on earth is finished.

you’re alive, it isn’t. Richard Bach Goals express confidence that you are the victor in a purposeful project rather than the victim of blind faith. Dr. John Edmund Haggai No one can measure how much unexplored heights we might reach if we put the full power of our brain to work. With determination, boldness and positive expectancy, we can choose what we will become. Your potential is unlimited. Don’t place self-imposed limits. Strive toward higher goals. Build lives that fulfil your dreams for the glory of God.

You are who you are for a reason. You’re part of an intricate plan. You’re a precious and perfect unique design, called God’s special woman or man. Make the difference. Stand out wherever you go. Be a lighthouse to the lost. Make it your burning desire.

Blessings from Mario Denton Tel (w) + 27(0) 82 88 29903. E-mail address: marden@mweb.co.za Website: www.strongmessage.co.za

THE STRONG MESSAGE POWER HOUR BUSINESS PRESENTATIONS/COACHING BOOKLETS 1. Fundamental principles of people and change management 2. Discover the true value of your team 3. Developing sound relationships - the fabric of building trust 4. Maximising your potential - building energy and commitment 5. What is in the well will come out in the bucket 6. Smell the roses - Your garden of life 7. Mindset of a champion 8. Discovering your mental net worth - renewing your mind 9. Being an abundant thinker 10. The seasons of a manager’s life 11. Career success and family excellence 12. Bring out the best in people 13 Don’t be happy with success. Make a difference. Strive for significance 14. Developing harmonious relationships 15. Emotional competence. The missing link towards optimal performance 16. Performance appraisals. From curse to blessing 17. Developing your spiritual intelligence 18. Raise the bar of excellence 19. Facilitating perpetual change 20. Finish well 21. From Nipper (junior lifesaver) to wave-ski Springbok by stretching the limits 22. Developing a character of integrity 23. The ABC of health 24. Be a real servant leader 25. The power of shared leadership 26. Solving conflict versus dissolving the relationship 27. Value-added coaching – a sustained way of keeping at the top of things 28. Natural laws of success 29. The things I wished I had done sooner 30 Things that mentors should teach us 31. Business prayers that avail much 32. The ripple effect of sound communication 33. Teach ability. You need to crawl before you walk 34. Encouragement: The oxygen of the soul 35. Letting go of the things that don’t add value 36. Leadership temptations 37. Be courageous. Stand up for what is just, right and fair 38. Burnout: Make it your ambition to live a quiet life 39. Detoxification in the workplace 40. What life lessons they should have taught MBA students at Business Schools

THE STRONG MESSAGE POWER HOUR BUSINESS PRESENTATIONS/COACHING BOOKLETS 41 Corporate viruses 42. Jumpstarting your team 43. What they should do to detoxify organisations 44. Pull people up 45. Spiritual emptiness 46. Minimise the resistance to change 47. Increase wellness in workplace 48. Be a learning organisation 49. What they should do to revitalise the motivation level in organsations? 50. Maintaining and sustaining optimal change 51. Leading a workforce who’s moral and trust are low 52. Make a success of career planning 53. Minimising discrimination in the workplace 54. Minimising frustration in the workplace 55. Changing the culture of the organisation 56. Be a change agent 57. Revitalising an organisational motivational levels 58. Increasing the energy levels in an organisation 59 Be part of the inner circle of change agents 60. Increase the engagements levels in the workplace

Please contact me at one of the following numbers if you want a similar presentation or series of these presentations presented to an in-house group in your organisation LET’S KEEP THE GOOD VIBES ALIVE! LET’S NETWORK! Do visit my web site at: http://www.strongmessage.co.za and become a member of the Strong Message People and Change Management Coaching Forum Tel (w): (+27) 082 882 9903 Fax (h) (+27) 21 913 3697: e-mail address: marden@mweb.co.za

Dig deeper and learn more (Optional) This section includes various PowerPoint support material for further inspiration and encouragement and relates to the material covered in this section -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Name Integrity

401 A

Have You Grasped The Significance Of Spiritual Multiplication? Conducting a spiritual audit Travel light Balancing Life Practical Steps for Formulating your Life Purpose Spiritual legacy Going Home! Winning at work without losing a life Pencil parable : Finishing well From success to significance

401 B 401 C 401 D 401 E 401 F 401 G 401 H 401 I 401 J

Date of completion

Progress Report James 1:22-25 “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom,

and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it-he will be blessed in what he does.â&#x20AC;? (NIV) Name and Number of Module ________________________________________ Participantâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s Name: ________________________________________ The Biblical Truths (Principles) I learned from this module: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I intend to apply this Truth (Principle) in my business by: --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------________________________

_______________________

Participant

Date