Leadership Principles from God’s Word:
Conflict management Module 512 A Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Passage to memorize Matthew 5:43-45 You have heard that it was said: Love your neighbour and hate you’re your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
CONFLIC T Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How we act when things aren’t right…
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
What is conflict?
Successful implementation
Results of Positive Conflict Resolution
Types of Conflict
Win/Win in Practice?
Summary of Conflict Management
Conflict Management Styles
Win/Win Conflict Resolution Approach
Conclusion
BREAKTHROUGH Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Conflict experience • 1. Who was involved? • 2. What the dispute or disagreement all about? • 3. Did you determine each other’s needs? • 4. Did you set mutual objectives to resolve the situation? • 5. What was the result/outcome of that conflict? Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Never carry a grudge • I’ve had a few arguments with people, but I never carry a grudge. You know why? While you’re carrying a grudge, they’re out dancing. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How do you feel about conflict?
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
What is your conflict style?
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Conflict Management Styles Assertiveness (Desire to satisfy one’s own concerns)
Assertive
Competing
Collaborating
Compromising
Avoiding
Accommodating
Unassertive Uncooperative
Cooperative Cooperativeness
(Desire to satisfy another’s concerns)
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Avoiding • Deliberate decision to take no action on a conflict or to stay out of a conflict situation • Postpones tension • Result in negative evaluations from others Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Accommodating • Concerned about the goals of the other party being met, but relatively unconcerned about getting your own way • Respect may be lost for those that constantly defer to others • People may become frustrated because their own needs are never met and they may lose self-esteem. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Competing • To satisfy your own interests you are willing to do so at the expense of the other party • Relying solely on competing strategies is dangerous as managers who do so may become reluctant to admit when they are wrong and may find themselves surrounded by people who are afraid to disagree with them.
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Compromising • Each party must give up something to reach a solution to the conflict • Quick fix, in desperate situations • Total consensus not achieved
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Collaborating • Open and thorough discussion of the conflict and arriving at a solution that is satisfactory to both parties.
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How can you best manage conflict when they arise? • Go to the person with whom you are experiencing conflict and address the issues face to face. • Avoid involving a third or fourth person especially if their knowledge of the situation will worsen the problem for the offending individual Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How can you best manage conflict when they arise? • Go to the person quickly. • The appropriate response is to stop and to go to the offended individual immediately. • Relational harmony is so important that it must be achieved before effective worship can take place Matt 5:24 Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How can a man or woman connect with God when he or she has unresolved relational issues with a brother or sister?
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Conflict produces energy • Effective leaders don’t ignore conflict • Conflict can’t be avoided. But they can be managed. • Conflict produces energy and energy can be channelled in positive directions
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Revelation 19:11-21 • We live in the context of a titanic spiritual war in which the opposing forces of light and darkness contend for the souls of men and women. • Although this invisible war is real, it is also temporary. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Revelation 19:11-21 • God will bring history to a point at which this cosmic conflict will be finally resolved • But the day of the Lord will come like a thief 2 Peter 3: 9-10
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
The key to conflict • Prompt reconciliation by speaking the truth. Balance truth confrontation and love confrontation. • It is about the issue versus attacking the person • 2 Samuel 14: 1-15:37 and see how King David have failed to discipline Ammon Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Ephesians 4: 1-3 • Christians who live up to their calling must keep the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace. • Be completely humble, and gentle, be patient, bearing with one another in love. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Conflict is a fact of Life
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Martin Luther King: Love your enemy • First, we must develop and maintain the capacity to forgive. • Such forgiveness doesn’t mean that we ignore the wrong committed against us. • Rather, it means that we will no longer allow the wrong to be a barrier to the relationship Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Martin Luther King: Love your enemy • Second, we must recognise that the wrong we’ve suffered doesn’t entirely represent the others persons identity. • We need to acknowledge that our opponent, possesses both good and bad qualities Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Martin Luther King: Love your enemy • Third, we must not seek to defeat or humiliate our opponent but to win his or friendship and understanding. • Such an attitude flows not from ourselves, but from God as his unconditional love works through us
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How do we get there? Change! 1. Be the change 2. Create space where safe for people to speak about what's important and meaningful 3. Shift towards shared responsibility 4. Reframe disagreement and conflict as an opportunity
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
How do we get there? Change! 1. Create a vision/mission statement that works for people 2. Reframe problem solving and decision making for maximum appropriate involvement 3. Think first, act second, reflect continuously
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Have you learned ...? • Have you learned lessons only of those who admired you, were gentle with you, and stood beside you?
• Have you not learned great lessons from those who braced themselves against and disputed the passage with you?
Walt Whitman, 1860 Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
The storm is over now
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Trust • Trust: It is the foundation on which all relationships are based. Without, it is like shifting sand. • It is hard work requiring sacrifice, self-disclosure and risk taking. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Discovery • Discovery: Trust starts by not only teaching others about ourselves, but also by looking through someone else’s eyes. We must make it a point to learn about each other. What makes the other person tick; what is their motivation; what are their expectations; what hurts them. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
End in Mind • End in Mind: If you really want to resolve a conflict, you must consider what is that both sides want or need. • What is the goal of the disagreement? • First know what each person wants, then you can concentrate on resolving that issue rather than "pulling in the kitchen sink". Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Interdependency • Interdependency: Trust also depends on the realization that we need each other. • We learn that we need each other after we share our hopes and fears, appreciate others’ hopes and fears, and realize each others’ needs. • If we realize that we need each other (and accept it), the conflict will be easier to resolve.
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Cohesiveness • Cohesiveness: Sharing, knowing the other person, realizing both common and differing goals, and accepting an interdependent relationship creates a synergistic bond. You come to see this bond as an investment worthy of protecting and maintaining. No conflict is stronger than the bond. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Full Circle • Full Circle: With these building blocks, trust begins to grow. With trust, the walls can fall, but the foundation will remain. This foundation is dependant upon our being able to trust and being trustworthy. Both sides of a conflict must be invested in this trust in order to successfully and productively resolve conflict.
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
When I say.... "I am a Christian" I'm not shouting "I'm clean living." I'm whispering "I was lost," Now I'm found and forgiven. When I say..."I am a Christian" I don't speak of this with pride. I'm confessing that I stumble and need CHRIST to be my guide. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not trying to be strong. I'm professing that I'm weak and need HIS strength to carry on. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not bragging of success. I'm admitting I have failed and need God to clean my mess. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not claiming to be perfect, My flaws are far too visible but, God believes I am worth it. When I say... "I am a Christian" I still feel the sting of pain, I have my share of heartaches So I call upon His name. When I say... "I am a Christian" I'm not holier than thou, I'm just a simple sinner who received God's good grace, somehow. Author ~Maya Angelou~ Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Give thanks with a grateful heart GIVE THANKS WITH A GRATE FUL HEART GIVE THANKS TO THE HOLY ONE GIVE THANKS BECAUSE HIS GIVEN JESUS CHRIST HIS SON GIVE THANKS WITH A GRATE FUL HEART GIVE THANKS TO THE HOLY ONE GIVE THANKS BECAUSE HIS GIVEN JESUS CHRIST HIS SON AND NOW LET THE WEAK SAY: I AM STRONG LET THE POOR SAY I AM RICH BECAUSE OF WHAT THE LORD HAS DONE FOR US GIVE THANKS
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Prayer Focus • Father, I ask you to give me a complete understanding of what you want to do in my life, and I ask you to make me wise with spiritual wisdom. • I roll my works upon You, and You make my thoughts agreeable to your will and so my plans are established and succeed. • I have the mind of Christ and hold the thoughts, feelings and purposes of His heart. Amen Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Learning, application and commitment: James 1: 22-25 • “Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. • Do what it says. • Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in the mirror and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. • But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it - he will be blessed in what he does.” (NIV) Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Learning, application and commitment • One of the Biblical truths (principles) that I have learned from this lesson was … • I intend to apply this truth (principle) in my business/Ministry by: ….. • With the help of the Holy Spirit, I will begin applying this truth immediately. I ask and expect my group to hold me accountable for this and to check with me periodically to determine if I am doing so. Please ask me ….. Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Jesus said: Take what I have given you and change the world!
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
Blessings from Mario Denton Let's keep the good coaching vibes alive. Let's network. Become a member of the Strong Message People and Change Management Coaching Forum. Tel (w) + 27(0) 82 88 29903. e-mail address: marden@mweb.co.za Website: www.stronmessage.co.za Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management
CD-ROM copyright • You are free to copy this material. Should you wish to become part of this winning concept, the following will apply: • Please commit yourself to inform us of the results regarding the effectiveness thereof. • Full acknowledgement must be given to the author(s) in writing. Please bring the following information in at the end of your presentation of any of the material that you used from the CD. Special recognition Denton, M. Self Paced Authentic Leadership Website: http://www.strongmessage.co.za marden@mweb.co.za Cell +27 82 88 29903
Leadership Principles from God’s Word: Conflict management