KINGDOM K I N G D O M
M O M S
W I N
P R E S E N T S
MOMS 1YEAR
ANNIVERSARY
CELEBRATING MOMS AROUND THE WORLD
#ISSA HOT MOM
SUMMER
QUARTER 2 // 2021
hey
! GIRL
OMG...Can you believe it? We are over halfway through 2021. Girl, take a moment and CLAP* IT* UP* FOR* YOURSELF!!!! It has not been an easy first half of the year, but here you are out here killin’ it!!. There have been so many unexpected things that have transpired. Many have lost employment, suffered through breakups and even lost loved ones. I know the first half of 2021 has been extremely Omg...Girrrrrllll, WE MADE IT!!! JustI take second andspirit and challenging and life altering for some. carryayou in my pray for God's peace surpasses our one understanding to keep celebrate yourselfthat for getting through of the your heart fixedlongest and continue to Despite cover you. toughest, years ever. whatWhen you you are alone in your private time and you begin to weep because all was so an experienced; you didn’t give up. While it’s 2020 overwhelming, remember HE full hasofit challenges, all figured hurt, out.pain, HE isloss, a God who does unusual year, uncertainty and so much mustbegan take time to work not make mistakes. “I am confident thatmore, God,we who a good within you will bring it to completion.” 1:6faith, and acknowledge the growth,Philippians wins, strength, perseverance that pushed us through last year. These So Sista Mom, you’ve got this!that Saysome this aloud “IT’S MYworking TIME AND are attributes of us have been on I WILL WIN!!” for some time and it seems like overnight, God gave us just what we needed to get through this past season I believe that the 2nd of 2021 will be exactly what you need to catapult of ourhalf lives. you into your destiny. It is imperative that you keep going despite the We experienced God, and His love and provision on obstacles and opposition that may arise. Remember, they only come a different level. He’s proven Himself to be faithful. to help us grow. Here are a few helpful tips to successfully carry us We really know this scripture to hold true, “I was through theyoung remainder of I2021. Whatever desire and now am old, yet I haveyou never seen to the accomplish, remember you must: righteous forsaken or their children begging bread.” Psalms 37:5 •PLAN •PERSEVERE Here’s the thing, it’s not that God changed the way •Be PERSISTENT that He cares for us, it’s simply that He finally has our •Apply PRESSURE attention, allowing us to see His hand in every •PRODUCE situation. We can now hear Him more clearly and •PROVOKE that’s all God was after...our FULL attention. This is the •Remember focus wethe mustPROMISE take into 2021. When we are able to rid ourselves of thethe distractions to redirect We made it through first half,that no come matter how we made it. our attention, we’ll find that we have what it takes to (We’re our own worst critic so you probably made out better successful thanbe you think.) as a mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend, career domestic (stayis just The entrepreneur, year isn't over and woman, the second half engineer of the year at homeKeep mom) pressing, and any other area of our lives. beginning. Keep pushing, KeepGod has equipped us with the necessary ingredients to of your life’s pursuing…you've got this! This half WILL be one fulfill ourtestimonies!!! life’s purpose. Sister/Mom, GREATEST SistaMom, we youmust walk in so much remember trustgraced God with EVERYTHING. When started!!!! grace and youtoare to our complete what you’ve we give our ALL to GOD, we can then give our BEST to everything else. Here’s to an EXCEPTIONAL 2021! Girl, You’ve Got This!!! Let’s WIN together!!!
Shalena Dudley Take it by Force, EDITOR
Shalena Dudley / / E D I T O R & C H I E F
&
CHIEF
Mom,
I appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for being everything that I need. I know motherhood can be hard, but I have witnessed you give it your very best! At times, that meant you received no rest, while we slept peacefully. I know sometimes you feel like you're not the best mommy you can be. I’ve seen you be so hard on yourself. I just want you to know that I am who I am because of you. I don't want it any other way! You're the best mama for me! I know sometimes you're stressed out. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be in your seat. I can see that some days are harder than others, and I want you to know that it’s okay!! It's okay to choose sleep over dishes. It's okay to cry and have “not so great” days. It’s okay to go grocery shopping and decide to leave your cart and just have sandwiches for dinner. Mommy, I SEE you and I hope to be half the woman and mother that you are one day to my children. I know that you love us and Mom, I want you to know that you are enough. You're so much more than enough. Mom, you are needed and you are PERFECT exactly the way you are. In fact, you're the strongest woman I've ever met, and I don't ever want you to forget that you're my SUPERHERO! Thank you for never giving up… I love you mom!
Amira
Congratulations To my Beautiful wife Shalena, the CEO of Kingdom Moms W.I.N.
One year is quite an accomplishment. I have had the honor of a front row seat from the moment of conception. I have found great joy in watching you manifest this God-given idea. The grace that flows from your words, the inspiration that supercharges the recipient, and the love from which all of this derives. You remain ever so thoughtful of the feelings, and emotions felt by moms from all walks of life. The way in which you deliver your content has NEVER possessed a hint of biases but has always employed the commonality and comradery of motherhood. I love to hear you during your process ask God what topics to cover and the individual that should cover the topic. You create with such intention and if I’m impacted by your process, I have no doubt that the moms who read this publication and participate in the Kingdom Moms W.I.N Facebook group are impacted by the product. I am SO PROUD OF YOU and I await with baited breath the NEXT BIG THING from the Kingdom Moms W.I.N platform. With All the Love I have to give… Your Husband,
L ewis
table
CONTENTS 0F
HotGirl Mom Summer She’s A #goaldigger Aspiring Moms Positioned for Purpose How’sYour Prayer Life Single Moms Get Ready For Bigger
CONNECT
@KINGDOMMOMSWIN // WWW.KINGDOMMOMSWIN.COM
issa
HOTGIRL MOM
SUMMER
TENISHA KYLER
The very popular female rapper “Meg the Stallion” has coined the phrase “Hot girl Summer” around this time every year, to insinuate a carefree summer with no boundaries. Though boundaries are necessary due to the responsibilities of our families, as moms, you TOO can have a “Hot Girl Summer… mom edition”. You have been confined to the house all year long fulfilling the roles of teachers, nurses, chefs, and of course, the all-encompassing role of *drum roll*... MOM. This summer, it is imperative that you let your hair down a little, vacation, plan a girl’s night (or weekend away), and do whatever it is that makes you feel most relaxed. Below, I’m going to show you what pieces you’ll need in the front of your closet to make this Hot Mom Summer one that’s most comfortable, but still unforgettable!
1
CHINUP SKIN . OUT
We all know summer to be the hottest season, which means it’s time to show some of that beautiful skin!! Tops that are asymmetrical, or off the shoulders provide the perfect balance between modest and sultry. One-shoulder tops, specifically, have resurrected themselves just in time for this hot mom summer!!! They're iconic from the '90s. The asymmetric neckline is an effortless look and it pairs well with skirts, shorts, and jeans. Walk in confidence, and in the knowledge that you’re beautiful, sexy, and can maintain fashion even with a busy lifestyle!
2.
JUMP IN
JUMPOUT
If you’re looking to add some comfort into your stylish apparel, you can’t overlook a casual jumpsuit. Relaxed, flowy, and forgiving, a jumpsuit is the perfect item to step into without the hassle of buttons, zippers, or tight-fitting pieces! One of the benefits to jumpsuits is its ability to flatter any body type. Many of them have elastic waistbands or drawstrings which gathers the waist. It is the perfect summer outfit for errands, and travel! Summer can be very hot, especially if you reside in the South. So, whatever you decide to wear, remain comfortable. Remember to dress light (in color, and in fabric). And, have yourself a HOT MOM SUMMER!!!
goal She’s A
LETITIA digger GRIFFIN A N
I N T E R V I E W
W I T H
What was your breaking point that led you to your weight loss journey? My weight loss journey started over two years ago with a regular trip to the doctor’s office for my children. I was simply going to get their normal check-up and paperwork ready for our upcoming sport season. While waiting for the doctor, I decided to stand on the scale and weigh myself. The nurse walked in and I asked her if she could tell me how much I weighed because it was not in pounds-- it was in kilograms. She looked over, pushed a button and 365lbs was blaring red in my face. I could not believe it. I knew I had to make some changes, but I did not have any idea where to start.
What were some of your fears along the way? My biggest fear was just starting! Dieting wasn’t foreign to me. My fear was failing again. My fear was my past inconsistency and my lack of discipline. I had to learn to change my mindset and realize that what I needed was not a diet but a lifestyle change. I had to believe in me, believe in Tish.
What would you say was the most challenging part of your journey? My biggest fear was just starting! Dieting wasn’t foreign to me. This journey not only affected my life but everyone around me. I had to adjust in my children's schedules so I could train. Saturday post-games turned into meal prep days. Sunday was church and family time. The schedule eventually ran like a well-oiled machine, but it was rough at the beginning. If you're deeply committed, you will make the necessary changes to make it work.
Social Media: Instagram: @MsAweGetitGurl
What seemed to be the easiest part? The easiest part is that 1 hour at the gym. It’s the other 23 hours that were difficult.
What are great strategies that you can share with other busy moms/women?
before
If I could share some strategies, it would be the following: 1. Start where you are- There are several small things that you can implement into your journey that will have a huge impact. You can start walking every day. Start drinking more water. Replace one meal with a smoothie. Those few changes will get you started, and you will notice the difference. 2. Don’t stay there- Once you start to implement activities or a new meal plan, gradually increase it. Add a jog into the walking. Add more vegetables on the plate, then starch. Small steps are still steps and will eventually make a huge impact. You just have to keep moving forward. 3. Set Goals- I believe in setting goals. It gives you something to work towards. However, set small realistic goals. All of your goals should be challenging but they should not be so difficult that they are overwhelming. Set mini goals to set yourself up for success. 4. Focus on the Activities and not the results- Always stay in the moment when you’re exercising and don’t get distracted. No phone calls, texts or social media. This is your hour to yourself, for yourself. Your personal time. Don’t let anyone steal that time away from you. You have been everything for everyone else and when you’re in the gym, you deserve that uninterrupted time. No one deserves you more than you deserve you.
How did you feel when you reached your first goal? My first goal was to get out of the 300 lbs’ club. When I hit that goal, I felt extremely accomplished. I was proud of myself and that felt good. I have not been proud of myself in a long time. As moms, we give so much of our time to our children, we forget about ourselves. This weight loss journey was all mine and achieving the goal inspired me to push further.
Did you say any daily affirmations and if so how important do you say those affirmations were to your process? When I started, I did not say affirmations, but I prayed constantly. I prayed for strength, I prayed for discipline, I prayed for guidance. I prayed for commitment to the journey. However, there is one affirmation that I now have started to repeat daily: “ I will love my body.” I have learned that loving the skin I’m in is also extremely important in this journey.
What’s one thing you’d leave with a mom who feels hopeless about her weight loss journey.
YOU ARE NOT HOPELESS!! The hardest thing on any journey is believing that you can do it and staying committed to it. That is one of the reasons I started the Awegetitgurl community on Instagram. It is a community of women that share and support our weight loss journey. Nothing helps more than seeing women that look like you working towards the same goal. A successful weight loss journey can be done! Set the goals… Allow yourself some space for grace and always remember to keep going. You can do it! Shalena and Kingdom Moms, I would like to thank you for the opportunity to share my journey. This journey is not over, and I still have more weight to lose, however by staying consistent and being faithful to the journey, I have reached a major milestone of successfully losing 100 lbs! Yes, 100 pounds!!! I now share my journey and provide information, inspiration, and education to my Awegetitgurl sisters.
a promise is a promise H O P E
F O R
A S P I R I N G
Like most women, I had my own timeline mapped out with accomplishments I wanted to achieve by certain points in my life. I Graduated from undergrad, started my career, purchased a home, and got married to the love of my life - all things I planned to do and completed by the age of 22. It seemed as though God and time were on my side.
My husband and I always agreed that we would enjoy a few years of marriage before pursuing the idea of growing our family. He told me, “Okay babe, once I complete my Master’s we can get started.” I was in total agreement and understood that it would give us both more time to grow in our careers and become financially literate and stable. We wanted to make sure that before we brought a baby into the world, we were prepared.
Fast forward to January of 2019, we received a prophetic word confirming that the desires that we had for children would soon manifest. We were ecstatic! My husband graduated in April of 2019, and that is when we began our journey. We easily conceived our first time trying!
We’d reached that glorious eight week mark where we could finally see our little baby growing via ultrasound. The ultrasound begins, and after a few minutes the tech began to get a bit worried and called for the Dr. They thought we had possibly had our dates wrong.
Following the next appointment, we had the same result, and I was diagnosed with a blighted ovum, where the baby stopped growing but my body hadn’t caught up yet. I was told that I would soon miscarry. We continued speaking life into my womb since the first ultrasound appointment in hopes that God would work a miracle so our baby could live.
A couple weeks passed, while not telling anyone outside the two of us, going to baby showers and baby birthday parties, and continuing life as “normal”. After submitting an assignment for my grad program, I began miscarrying for hours. I went to bed hoping I would die. I woke up the next morning saying, “WOW, God I can’t believe I’m still here.” That served notice that there was still purpose for me to fulfill! Losing my baby was the hardest thing I’d ever gone through. That experience brought about a closeness between me and my husband that I still cannot explain. Through it we continued to believe God relentlessly!
M O M S
In February of 2020, we received another prophetic word regarding conception. The prophets labored with me and said, “Now go home and conceive.” We did! We were excited and hopeful to continue the journey. About 7 weeks along, we suffered another miscarriage. We were devastated and couldn’t understand why we were going through this.
Towards the end of 2020, we began working with an amazing team of doctors that specialize in reproduction. No issues were found with my womb and I was told that I have above average follicle count. This was such amazing news to hear! We’ve learned our triggers and how to healthily navigate this journey. We’ve made lifestyle changes, are clinging onto our faith, and holding each other down. It became so real to me that God CAN’T lie. He’s perfect and in his timing, Baby Daniels will soon come! I want you to all remember that the promise of God for your life will be fulfilled. At times it may be challenging but always know that He has all things in control. It’s working together for your good.
HEIDI DANIELS
purpose P O S I T I O N E D
F O R
I believe that our passion is what leads us to our purpose, which is designed by God. Our purpose is the very reason we were born. It is what we are called to do on Earth as we travel through life. I believe that many of the positive passions and desires that we have as children are usually the vehicles that lead us towards our dreams and purposes. As the owner of a Performing Arts School and Entertainment Company, I had no idea that my desire to sing and my love for music would lead me to become an entrepreneur that would impact kids and adults around the world. I have been blessed to assist in helping children and young adults perfect their crafts, which led a number of them to Hollywood! But, it started with me as a MOM. Before I could help the masses, it was super important to me to cultivate the young people closest to me, my son and god-children, and identify their passions as they lived their purpose driven lives.
NATARSHA GARCIA
Oftentimes, I am asked “how do you know what your purpose is” or “how do you know what you were born to do?” This is a question that I believe everyone has contemplated on at some point in his/her life. I remember being a very young girl and having such great passion for music and singing. Literally, all I did was sing, every day, throughout the day. By the time I was 10 years old, I knew that I wanted to be a singer for the rest of my life and I also knew there was something special about it for me. It was made clear that God was moving me in that direction as a kid and I can honestly say, I felt closer to Him every time I used my gift. Singing was my place of refuge. When I was happy, I would sing! When I was in trouble, I would sing! When I was unsure or in a place of indifference, I would sing! It was indeed one of my treasured passions-- a gift (and passion) no one could take from me.
Some of us may know what it's like to live a life that someone else had in mind for you. For instance, maybe your parents or family members wanted you to live in a certain city, or wanted you to attend a certain college. Or, maybe you’ve been a victim of society telling you what should happen with YOUR life based on decisions you’ve made or career choices. So oftentimes, we allow fear and the opinion of others determine who we become. The fear of failure or maybe even the fear of success can play huge roles in our decision making and unfortunately, without trying, this very same fear could be projected onto our children. It is so important for us to pay attention to our children concerning the things they are drawn to naturally. Each and every child is different. I believe God gives us all talents, desires and gifts before we are born because He knows just how we’ll use those gifts to change the world! As parents it’s our job to recognize them, nurture them, and even encourage them. You could be raising the next big Scientist, Engineer, Doctor, Musician, Actor, Dancer or even the future President of the United States! How motivating! Kingdom Moms, I am encouraging you to evaluate your lives to make sure you are aligned with your purpose concerning what you’re supposed to accomplish while on Earth. If you don’t know, start by remembering those passions, dreams and childhood desires such as: reading, baking, creating, singing, telling stories, speaking, making people laugh, etc and see where it leads you, or even maybe why you stopped. (That’s your homework) Also, more importantly, if you have children, don’t ignore the signs and clues to their greatness! Cultivate their gifts, even if the gifts don't line up with what you had in mind for their lives. God has a plan for all of us and it’s good! Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
This scripture is true for every human being, including you, your family and your children! God Bless You and GO BE GREAT!
How’s your
prayer life?
TARISHIA MARTIN
I sat with one of my sisters in Christ, over a cup of tea listening as she shared some of the challenges she was facing as a wife and mother. She felt the more she tried to be the best mother, her marriage suffered and the more she tried to be a good wife, she felt the relationship with her children suffered. She went on to share from the time she woke up, she was bombarded with the thoughts and the demands of her day; she felt her day was depleted well before it began. She went from preparing breakfast, lunches, snacks, dropping two of her children to school while tending to her seven-monthold and taking care of household chores. After picking up her children from school, there was homework to complete in hopes to get done before getting one of her children to sports practice. After returning, she prepared dinner and greeted her husband when he returned home from work. After dinner, she bathed her children and put them to bed. Only to enter her bedroom to find her husband with the look of desire to spend an intimate night together (which she tried to stay in the bathroom long enough in hopes he would fall asleep before she came out). She expressed how she was totally exhausted from the events of the day. Most nights, she felt as if she was all over the place and out of balance, and after I took a sip of my tea, I raised the question “How is Your Prayer Life?” She looked at me as if to say “REALLY? Were you listening to anything I just said? I don’t have time for prayer. There is no room to fit prayer into my day!” I have to say, there was a time I felt the same way with life demands. By the time I kneeled down to pray I fell asleep on my knees. I quickly discovered the secret to handling life's challenges is having a consistent prayer life. Whenever I’m faced with life's challenges, or feel out of balance, overwhelmed, anxious, and impatient, I can point to the lack of prayer. I couldn’t help but wonder why the very thing that helps us the most, we do the least. Our prayer life is essential to our existence. It is the barometer that keeps us grounded. But yet, establishing and maintaining a perpetual prayer life is often not viewed as priority, but a challenge trying to make it fit into the demands of our day. Just as we prepare our day, when we’re running our children to school, sports, errands, we strategize in a manner that saves time, gas, and money. That is the same approach we should take when we strategize prayer into our day, spending time with God, helps us, and He guides us through the course of our day. I remember when I was juggling small children, as a mother and wife, I was faced with the same challenges that my sister shared, which may be similar to what you’re experiencing in your life. But regardless if you’re a Kingdom Mom of small, youth, teenagers, or adult children— whatever stage that you’re in, I’m here to tell you, it is not about requiring more than 24 hours in a day to incorporate prayer. What you’re lacking is not time, it is intentionality, strategy, and discipline. Once strategy is in place, it’s going to take discipline to see it through. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says “To everything there is a season…” the same holds truth with your prayer life, your prayer life changes depending on what season of life you’re in. During each season if a prayer strategy is not implemented, you will run the risk of not managing your day as God intended.
1. Start Your Day With Prayer Prayer is not a religious exercise or something we check off our to do list. Prayer is a rewarding experience. It helps to center your spirit, mind and prepare your day. I would suggest you take 15 minutes at the onset of your day to pray – You can start by thanking God for the blessings of your children, husband, family, friends, all blessings, there are none too small to give thanks. After you offer prayers of thanksgiving take time to tell God the concerns on your heart. Express to Him the challenges that awaits your day, your fears and concerns as a woman, wife, and mother. Ask Him to help you conquer those fears and help you to make it through the day. I find great comfort in meditating and praying Psalm 25:4-5. “Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow. Lead me by your truth and teach me, for you are the God who saves me. All day long I put my hope in you.”
2. End Your Day with Prayer: I recall when my children were small, many days when I was pulled in so many directions as a wife, mother, student, ministry, some of you Kingdom Moms, may have this experience. After you put your children to bed, “Sometimes all you could do is lie in bed, and hope to fall asleep before you fall apart” (William C. Hannan). Some days, it was difficult to hold it altogether. Once I implemented prayer as my daily routine, before going to sleep, I take time to communion with God. I encourage you to take at least 15 minutes at the end of your day to pray, to talk to your Heavenly Father. I suggest you start off by telling him how grateful you are for making it through the day (all in one piece). Thank Him for the decisions you made that were in the best interest of your children and family. Express your deepest gratitude, and pray for your children, husband, family members. One of the scriptures that provide the most comfort at the end of the day is Psalm 4:8 “I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O Lord make me dwell in safety.” A prayer Strategy is intentional and Discipline is essential in helping Kingdom Moms to develop an effective prayer life and create intimacy with God.
SingleMoms N E E D
L O V E
T O O
I was born into a two-parent household. My parents divorced when I was 12 years old. My mother remarried a few years later. By the time I was 24 I had two young children under the age of five. How did I get here? I didn’t even want kids. My plan was to go to college and travel/experience the world. I got pregnant with my first daughter after I graduated college and two years later, I got pregnant with my second daughter after graduating graduate school. I always thought of my daughters as my graduation babies. Here I was a twenty-five-year-old with two beautiful daughters that were three years and three months apart in age. I was single, never married, and had two different fathers for my children. I had thoughts of shame, guilt, embarrassment, and even anger (when the pastor of my previous church would not Christen my second “illegitimate” child). My oldest daughter’s father was killed the day she turned two months old, so I was a single mother pretty much from the start. I wasn’t new to doing things on my own but having another mouth to feed put a lot of pressure on me. I wasn’t in a relationship with my youngest daughter’s father, as a matter of fact, he was in a relationship with someone else when I got pregnant-that’s a whole situation within itself!! He hasn’t been consistent in my daughter’s life. I didn’t want my kids to have to suffer from the decisions that I chose to make. I was always a hard worker but having two kids to support on my own sent me into extreme work mode. I worked multiple jobs and countless hours of overtime to support myself and kids. I had a lot of help from my mom and family. I honestly don’t know where I would be without them. My family watched, fed, drove/picked up my kids from extra-curricula activities as well as attended events that they participated in. I tried to have my kids exposed and well-rounded as much as possible, encouraging them to participate in sports and hobbies. I always supported or the very least tried my hardest to support everything my kids did. Fast forward, my daughters are seventeen and fourteen years of age. They are experiencing the good and bad of what this thing called Life has to offer them. Since the beginning of the pandemic, I have spent the most time now with my kids then I have their ENTIRE lives. I’ve learned so much about them that I “thought” I already knew before. One of the biggest things I learned was that all these years while I was working to provide that they just needed a little more time with me. They needed more hugs and displays of affection. They needed to hear that I was proud of them. Growing up my parents/stepparents always shown their love for me by providing. While I’m eternally grateful and blessed for the provision, I always wonder how I would be if I received more hugs and if my parents told me that they loved me on a regular basis. I repeated that lack of affection and I see it manifesting in my daughters today.
JOYCELYN WILLIAMS
I’m not going to say I have regrets but they are life lessons. Children need security, positive affirmations, and affection just to name a few. It helps them grow to be confident in themselves. I’m learning to not just be a provider but to be more nurturing to my kids so they will be equipped to have healthy relationships in all aspects of their lives. Being a single mother is very challenging but with God’s strength and my family support, I’ve been holding it down for almost eighteen years. As graduation season is upon us and my kids start to transition to the next phases of their lives, I can truly say that God has had his hands on us this whole time. My oldest is graduating high school and will be attending college in the Fall on her pursuit to become a Forensics Psychologist. My youngest will be graduating eighth grade with high honors and attending high school in the Fall. I encourage all single mothers to hold your heads up high as parenting is all about trial and error. Don’t beat yourself up if your kid(s) are not living up to your expectations, don’t get discouraged, make sure you take time out for yourself, and always remember to trust GOD with all things concerning your children for he will guide you and keep/cover them.
bigger GET READY FOR
Some of you may have read this title and said, nope I am good on bigger, I am having enough trouble with right now, I am content and don’t need anymore. In reality, you have probably stopped pursuing purpose, let go of your dreams, and confused being content with complacency. Others may have read bigger and said bring it on, I’ve been waiting for bigger. I’ve been waiting to see what God has promised. I’ve been waiting and I’ve almost grown heartsick. I’ve been waiting and becoming hopeless in the process. Well, let me tell you right now that bigger is coming! The promise God has for you is great. His word does not return void and will accomplish what it was sent forth to do (Isaiah 55:11). So don’t be convinced to settle, because God's thoughts about you are to bring you to a future and a hope (Jeremiah 29:11). This is the season of John 14:12 that we will do and see the greater works, the bigger works that God has placed in us.
How to Get Ready for Bigger: 1. Prepare For What’s Next
AKIA ISOM
2. Pursue Purpose 3. Patiently Endure 4. Prayerfully Move Out
1.Prepare - Too often in our excitement for bigger, we forget how critical and crucial it is to have a season of preparation. Jesus spent 33 years on the earth and more of that time was in preparation than in doing the actual work of ministry. So why should we be any different? Preparation can look like different things for different people. Yet overall it is getting things in order. Get that application in for the school you’re called to attend. Write the business plan for the business you’re supposed to launch. Properly manage your finances for the credit score you need. Research the laws and regulations to start your non-profit. Don’t waste time while you’re waiting, use the time to prepare for what’s next. 2.Pursue - Pursue purpose. Run after the dream, the gift, and the calling God has for you. Don’t get distracted going after things that may be good, but are not the thing God has called you to do. Boldly pursue the purpose God has for you without second guessing yourself or creating plan B’s. Go for what God has spoken. And choose to walk in faith over fear. Remembering that He who promised is faithful and that God swore by Himself concerning His promise to you. 3.Patiently Endure - Bigger requires patience and endurance. You have to be patient in the process. A day is like 1000 years to the Lord. His timing is not like ours. His ways are greater and His thoughts are deeper. So don’t get caught up in comparing yourself to others, or wanting the journey to be on your timeline. And don’t forget that patience builds strength. In this season, we need believers who won’t get weary in their well-doing. People who can sprint can only run a short race, typically for less than a minute, while marathoners run for hours. So in your time and season of patience remember that God is preparing you to be able to last a marathon and not just a quick sprint. The season of patience is developing your lungs so you won’t quit. 4.Prayerfully Move Out - We need to be prayerful about every step we make. All things through prayer and supplication! Prayer allows us to better hear the voice of God. In prayer, we get used to speaking to and hearing from God, well if you’re praying right. Prayer is not just you making a request. It is you listening to God for instruction. Prayer also builds discernment, and it’s how you get instruction. So don’t move out without clear instructions from God. Pray! Prayer will ensure that as you move out, you’re doing so under the authority of God and not just based on you.
Bigger is coming, matter of fact, it’s here right now, you just have to be ready for it. So prepare, pursue, be patient, and prayerful. Because your bigger is on the way.
On a recent Saturday, I went to New York City to drop off my daughter so that she could spend time with one of her friends that was visiting. My husband and I decided to stop and have lunch at Junior’s and then walk over to Magnolia’s Bakery for their world-famous banana pudding. For two days prior to this, I had been battling severe sinus headaches and pressure but decided to make the best of a rare Saturday when neither of us were working. On our 3-block walk to Magnolia’s, I began to get short of breath and I could feel my heart racing. As my breathing became more shallow, my husband told me to wait while he went to get our car. I waited in line, got the banana pudding and I crossed the street to wait for my husband. I found a shaded space to park my son’s stroller as he and I waited. As I was standing there, I began to feel very faint so I called my husband and asked him to hurry because I felt like I was going to pass out. My next memory after that is waking up on the street with a lady kneeling over me on the phone with a 911 dispatcher and telling them that I look to be about 28 years old (which was the highlight of my day since I’m 41! Ha!). While she was on the phone, my husband arrived, followed shortly thereafter by the NYC EMS. They took my vitals and my blood pressure and heart rate were unusually high. I was transported to NYU Hospital and after hours of CAT scans, bloodwork and the drama of a Manhattan ER, they couldn't find anything. Everything came back normal. No internal bleeding and nothing broken - thank God. I used my phone to take a picture of myself. Your Sis was looking like Martin when he got knocked out by Tommy “The Hitman” Hearns in that iconic episode - ha! My sister says it wasn’t THAT bad; it was more like Oprah, in The Color Purple. I don’t know which is worse but your girl was knotted up. To escape with only a knot, a few minor scratches and soreness - I’m GRATEFUL.
TAMEEKA DENSMORE NELSON
self care 1.TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF: I was on
my husband ALL week about getting his blood pressure checked and didn't know mine was through the roof. We can become so engulfed in our roles as helpmeet and nurturer that we forget to help and nurture ourselves. 2. GET HELP: One of the reasons I started my business was so that I could have freedom to work when I wanted. However, I was unable to take the time off that I needed to recuperate because I had not trained my "help" properly. I trained them with what I'm comfortable with (control) and haven't delegated important tasks to them that will actually bring me relief (fear). So guess who my clients were waiting for? ME. WHY...when I have TWO assistants?? Get it TOGETHER, Sis! Find the help and delegate. You have to trust SOMEBODY. They may not do it like you - but does the job get done? Completion over perfection.
3.
WHAT IS IMPORTANT? This week has really made me evaluate what I SAY is important vs what actually IS important. I say my health is important but I haven't done a “checkup” - physically, spiritually, mentally, emotionally. If I am out of balance with ANY of those, I am no good to anyone, not even myself. What's important is my family but I’ve been overwhelmed and not as present as I could be. Find what is important and give attention to that… everything else is a non-factor.
4.
DON'T STOP CARING: I have to admit, being a “northerner” or “Yankee,” as some call us, has made me a little more cutthroat. Most people up north are very direct and unbothered compared to the south where I was living and everyone was galloping through the tulips - ha! The lady that was on the phone with the EMS found me on the ground shaking with my baby next to me in the stroller. She said people just kept walking by. I felt bad because had it not been me, I might've done the same thing. Not because I don’t care, not because I’m mean… but because I’m “busy” and that would’ve been an interruption and, dare I say, an inconvenience to my plans. That is NOT me and I hate that it has become me. I'm COMMITTED to not being the one who walks by anymore. Don't let life make you callous and insensitive to other people's needs around you.
5. SISTERHOOD: I've been so engulfed in all that I have going on in my life that I really haven't nurtured my sisterhoods. But guess who helped me find out what was wrong with me? One of my sisters! She said, “give me your lab work” so I showed her and she pointed out that my iron was very low, which more than likely was the cause of my passing out - no oxygen was getting to my brain. When I had an allergic reaction to the medication they gave me, guess who told me what medication to request and what questions to ask? My SISTER. What can your sister help you with? What can she be the solution to? Sisterhood is more than surface conversations and talking about men and kids. Really LEAN IN to your sisterhood. They can handle you - ALL of you. 6. BREATHE: During this time, I had been in an unsettled season for about six months. It was hard to manage at times emotionally, mentally and spiritually. It's like hit after hit kept coming to the point that disappointment didn’t even phase me anymore because I almost EXPECTED it. Since March I had been saying, I need time to get away to BREATHE but life has been out here life’ing lol And I allowed everything to get in the way of doing what's necessary FOR ME. I’m intentionally MAKING spaces in my day to find a space to breathe. I don't need to be on a beach with blue water and 72 degree weather to do that... even though that would be nice. MAKE space in your day to breathe. You will feel like you need to give something or someone else that time and attention, but that space is YOURS. Make it sacred. 7. YOU’RE NOT A “G”! In the days following, my husband asked what I had learned from this experience. I shared with him my takeaways and then asked him the same. His response was, “I learned that you’re not a G!” I couldn’t help but laugh at such a random and unexpected response. So I asked him to elaborate, and he said “you’re always so hard like nothing affects you and you can always handle everything.” I imagine visibly shaken up and crying “Please help me, please come get me,” proved otherwise to him. But I pondered his words. I was losing my feminine edge… my softness, my vulnerability, my “float” (there’s a certain glide that feminine women have where it’s almost like they’re floating when they’re walking). Know when to hang up your Superwoman cape, Sis. Truth be told, Lois Lane is just as powerful. Let your heart and emotions be seen. Don’t lose your “float.” Remind yourself (in the voice of Sheneneh), “I’m a laaady” and show up as the divine feminine being that you are. 8. RESPONSIBILITY: That experience showed me (again) how quick things can change. The following day as I was scrolling through social media, a lady had posted how her husband had fainted, hit his head and was unable to talk. SAME THING except nothing happened to me. WHY? There is a purpose. And while it may not always be easy, it may not always feel comfortable and it may be easiest to just fall back and let life happen, I have "a responsibility to show up to the world as the contribution that I AM from God." I heard someone say that and it hit me like a ton of bricks. That is MY RESPONSIBILITY and reasonable service - to BE the contribution He intended me to be. I'm not sure what's next - I'm in prayer about that, but it's purposeFULL and will be all that He intended for me to be/do/have. That day could’ve ended many ways, but I’m thankful that it ended this way so that we can pause and have this moment together.
PODCAST
love T E N I S H A
Love Tenisha is space.. a Visual Podcast to connect with those that are tired of complacency. A virtual room for those of us that want to be challenged spiritually: in love, in humility, in obedience, in honesty. This podcast will touch real topics, while learning how to navigate them through the lens of Christ. Coming Fall of 2021. Connect for Updates: _LoveTenisha Tenisha Kyler
W W W. S O U T H G A S E L F I E M U S E U M . C O M
SOUTHGASELFIEMUSEUM SOUTH GEORGIA SELFIE MUSEUM
SHALENA DUDLEY EDITOR & CHIEF
NATARSHA GARCIA
HEIDI DANIELS
#CONTRIBUTORS
TENISHA KYLER
TARISHIA MARTIN
TAMEEKA DENSMORE NELSON
AKIA ISOM
LETITIA GRIFFIN JOCELYN WILLIAMS