Missionary Relationship Model by Kaci Pastore

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MISSIONARY RELATIONSHIP MODEL counsel•self-study•teaching•cell group•life

O r g anizations built a r ound Biblical s tand a r d s develop a r o bus t and vib r an t co m munity. The f ollowing co venant is intended to help p r o vide direction to mis sion o r g aniza tions. As followers of Christ, we realize that Scripture and our Lord Jesus Christ set the standard for our actions and relationships. While we err, even greatly at times, we are committed to submitting ourselves to Christ and His Word. We understand that “we are not our own, we were bought with a price.” (1 C o rinthians 6 :20) With this in mind, we must approach all relationships from a Biblical perspective.

I. RESPONDING TO LEADERSHIP1 Because we are called to respect and honor the leadership God places over us (Ro m an s 13:1 -7, Heb re w s 13 :17 , an d 1 Thes s alonians 5:12 -13 , C olo s sians 3 :12 -17), we will seek to support our leadership in the following ways... 1. Realizing that all work is to be done as “unto the Lord” we will labor in a way that is pleasing to our true Master while at the same time honoring our earthly leaders as having been appointed by God. 2. We will respond to correction and instruction in a way that is receptive and grateful. If we are “suffering” under the hands of a leader we will make sure it is for our doing good not for our doing wrong. (1 Peter 2: 20) 3. We will not speak critically of our leaders to others but will address any concerns we have directly with them and with the Lord. 4. We will seek to make our leader’s job a joy by our loyal, humble, and responsive attitude, knowing that this is pleasing to the Lord and also benefits us. We also realize that those in authority will have to give an account for their leadership.

II. LEADING We will seek to be servant leaders, shepherding those placed under our charge with the strength,humility, and gentleness we see evident in the leadership of our Lord. (Mat the w 20:25 -28) 1

1 Note that when dealing with issues of authority, Scripture always begins with the subordinate position while the greater level of responsibility is placed on the leadership position.

christiancounseling.com Given Jesus’ m o del and the m o del t au ght in Sc rip tu re… 1. We will lead in a manner that reflects the servant leadership and humility of Christ, 2. We will not “lord it over” those in our charge but will use our position as an opportunity to empower and serve. (1 Peter 5 :3) 3. We will provide strong, confident leadership including casting and communicating vision, making difficult decisions, establishing priorities, and developing other leaders. 4. We will lead for the glory of the Kingdom and the good of those we lead rather than for our own personal gain or benefit. (Hebrew s 13: 7) Re c o gnizing Go d’ s a p p oint ment t o leade r ship we will fulfill th ree m ajo r re s p onsibilities. 1. Be led by God and the truth of His Word so that we are able to lead in a direction and manner consistent with the Kingdom as we seek to provide a God honoring vision. 2. Prayerfully lead, encourage, support, and empower those in our care. 3. Be willing to deal with needed changes in those under our care prayerfully, directly, honestly, and in a way that invites Godly change.

III. RELATIONSHIPS 1. We will use our speech to edify others in the faith according to their particular needs. We will seek to apply Ephesians 4:29 to all of our speech. 2. In humility, we will consider the interests of our fellow missionaries above our own. We will have our contact and time together with others characterized by joyful humility and deference to the needs of others. (Philippians 2:1-17) 3. We will seek to love others according to the very clear and practical definition found in 1 Corinthians 13. 4. We will endeavor to be led by the Spirit rather than our own flesh and will evaluate our progress by whether we see the fruit of the Spirit manifest in our relationships. 5. We will not speak ill of others in their absence. If we have a complaint against someone, we will address it to them directly. We will not be involved in gossip or idle chatter about others. 6. Recognizing that ungodly conflict is born out of envy and self-seeking, we will look for opportunities and ways to “die to self” in relating to others. We will seek to “live at peace with all men” as much as it depends on us. (Romans 12:18) When dealing with others, we will seek solutions and unity rather than just voicing complaints. 7. Knowing that “love covers a multitude of sins” I will not be easily injured. (1 Peter 4:8) 8. When we feel confrontation is necessary, we will do it directly with the person. © 200 5, Copyr igh t Associat ion of Bi blica l Counse lors For use by cu rr ent mem be rs onl y.

christiancounseling.com Bef o re c onf r on ting a pe r s on I will... 1. Examine my own heart and attitudes to insure that my intentions are Biblical and reflect the love of Christ. 2. Look at any “boards” in my own eye which may prevent me from seeing and judging the situation accurately. (Matthew 7:3-5)

IV. SERIOUS GRIEVANCES Some grievances are of a serious and damaging enough nature that they must be addressed. Se ri ous g riev an ces a re th o se… •

That have immediate and long-term implications for the Kingdom.

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That are a hindrance to work, worship, or an ongoing relationship with another person.

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For which normal means of trying to resolve the issue have been completely unproductive.

We c o m mi t t o w o r king th r ou gh se rious g riev a nces using the f ollo wing m o del b a sed on Ma t the w 18: 15-2 0. (Also c on side r G ala tia ns 6:1 -5 , Ti tus 6 :9 -11 , Luke 17:1-4) This me ans… 1. We will prayerfully and humbly go directly to the person and state our grievance in a manner and attitude that reflects a desire to reconcile the relationship. This will be done only after we have examined our own hearts for any wrong attitudes toward the person. If we have also wronged them in some way (harboring bitterness, speaking ill of them to others, etc) we will confess our own sin and seek forgiveness from them prior to addressing our grievance. If after we have presented our grievance they are unwilling to repent… 2. We will find a third person that will have the spiritual maturity to deal appropriately with the situation. They will be invited to review the situation and determine whether we have a legitimate grievance and whether our heart is right. If they determine both these to be the case, they (or another appropriate person) will prayerfully go with us to make a second appeal to the person. If the person is still unwilling to repent, the appropriate supervisors and mission authorities will be notified so that they may evaluate and address the person in whatever manner they deem to be Biblically appropriate. 3. By following this approach we commit that we will not “try” the situation in the court of public opinion (i.e. talking to other people about the problem). We will discuss the situation only with the person with whom we have the grievance or those involved in the discipline process. Our desire and motivation throughout will be for reconciliation.

christiancounseling.com V. WORK ETHIC Because our relationships take place in the context of our work, we will seek to apply ourselves to the tasks at hand in an effort to carry our own weight and to be pleasing to the Lord. 1. We will seek to operate in our relationships and work and all of life without grumbling and complaining. (Philippians 2:14) 2. We will seek help from appropriate others when we are struggling with particular sin or are in need in some way rather than waiting on someone to come to us. 3. We will work hard and diligently “as unto the Lord.” We will seek to work with all our might regardless of whether we are being observed or not, knowing that it is the Lord to whom we must give an account. (Hebrews 4:13)

VI. OTHER RELATIONSHIPS We will treat missionaries from other groups, national believers, and national church leaders with the same Christ-like attitude outlined in this covenant. We understand that brothers and sisters in Christ require the same care regardless of their country of origin, social status, or level of education. With this in mind, we will work hard not to establish an “us/them” mentality or demeanor. Non-believers will be treated in a way that draws them to the cross rather than propelling them away from it. As believers, the above attitudes and actions are not really optional but commanded in God’s word. Like all instruction from the Lord, they bring freedom not bondage. These attitudes and actions also are not possible unless we are abiding in the vine (John 15:1-17). The active Redeemer provides both the impetus and the ability to act in ways that please God. We understand that our treatment of others will be an outgrowth and reflection of our submission to, love for, and fellowship with Christ.

I reco gn i z e t o live in the a b o ve m a nner wi ll re q uire hu m il it y a n d a de pen d en ce on the H o l y S p ir it. In a d d it i o n, it will li k e l y re q uire re a l he a rt ch a n ge. I a m, h o wever, co m m itte d to the a b o ve coven a nt an d wi ll w o r k t o w a r ds ma k in g these a re a l it y in m y life an d re la t i o nsh ips. I will we lc o me in put fro m o thers when I veer fro m the a b ove cov en a nt.

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*(Your signature on this document is completely optional and is for you and you alone. It is in no way binding, legally or otherwise, but indicates your willingness to seek to live out your relationships on the field in a way that honors the Lord.) © 200 5, Copyr igh t Associat ion of Bi blica l Counse lors For use by cu rr ent mem be rs onl y.