Gauge: Sick by Gauge Magazine

TENTS TABLE of CONTENTS T

Photograph•by Becca Charin 2

Gauge Sick • Fall 2013

TABLE of CONTENTS TABLE o TK

Letters

Before We Begin

100

Short Shorts

101

Poetry The Hospital Ode to Cancer The Sad Hypothetical Tale of My Eighteenth Century Self A World Map of Disease Party Fowl Rife With Controversy Don’t Use Your Words Daytime Television Draw a Tiger on My Face and Put Me to Sleep Awakening in the Age of Surrender Inside the World of Competitive Eating Etymology You Should

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

STAFF Editor-in-Chief Creative Director Managing Editor

Designers

Sierra Lister Ryan Catalani Sasha Laferte

Illustrators

Fiction Editor Editorial Team

Photo Co-Editors Assistant Photo Editor Photographers

Kathryn Barnes Michele Debczak Loretta Donelan Emeralde Jensen-Roberts Sara Selevitch Chase Souders Libby Webster Lisie Sabbag Courtney Tharp & James Jacobs Sarah Verrill Becca Chairin Patrick Lynch Carina Allen Nydia Hartono

Assistant Fiction Editor Fiction Readers

Poetry Editor Assistant Poetry Editor Poetry Readers

Copyeditors

Evinne Dimming Victoria Elliott Louis Roe Samantha Graudins Haley Brown Julie Gagnon Hannah Lamarre Emily McClure Nicole Stein Kelly Young AngĂŠlika Romero Brian McNally Brenna Kleiman Nia Mendy Becca Pollock Hayley Gundlach Phillip Gohary

LETTERS REPLACE WITH SIERRA’S It’s get-

chemicals to stay awake, brighten our even read magazines on little tablets

planting urban gardens, paying too much for organic groceries, and frownto read words on paper, so we give you Gauge 23, where the natural and the ar-

particular, I’d like to to thank Carly and Ryan for stepping up to the creative plate in a time of crisis, Daniel and Caroline for an awesome collection of photography, and Ali for curating our blog miss Gauge, but I can rest easy knowing that in will be in the capable hands of

More than visual complements to the written word, the images truly tell stories of their own that add another dithese pages and what you’ll see most of ors, some sketched, some polka-dotted, some with food smeared across

was all for you, so dive into these pages — Sierra Lister, Editor-in-Chief

To explore those binaries, our writers imagined a space colony that never was, dug into Disney’s utopian past,

This issue’s theme, Sick, presented a

searched for the scripts behind reality TV, the work that goes into naming paint, and the true nature of the Tyran-

jump to the normal graphic metaphors of sickness—clinics and hospitals, pallid blues and sterile greens, loneliness and desolation—but we tried to push our-

got a short story that will never let you

We were fortunate to continue to have such a talented team of photog-

they further demonstrate not only the ly in the articles, but the humanity that brings us together past those condiphers for your excellent work, editors Courney and James for deftly curating the photos, and to Sam and Haley for Finally, thank you to our editor-in-chief Sierra for picking a theme that asked all of us at Gauge to push

was, overall, colder and less saturated than normal, but we still attempted to imbue these pages with a certain en-

interesting topics in both our written and visual languages, and for your per-

bold imagery, we strived to portray

peculiarities of Gauge are what makes it such a rewarding publication to work for, and I’m glad to have had this oppor-

to our talented designers Victoria and Gauge, and I can’t give enough thanks

— Ryan Catalani, Creative Director

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

SHORT SHORTS

Photography by Nina Corcoran

I am laughing at all the wrong moFlanegan is reading a poem about bratty submissives and I am giggling at

We’ll punch ourselves in the face if it means someone will ask us about the

—Sara Selevitch

—Brenna Kleiman ***

He likes needles and blood and se-

***

this and laugh, and I imagine myself all trussed up on a table, clothespins on my inner thighs, wrists and ankles bound with rope, a too-large ball gag

The train jerked to a stop twenty I rested my head against the glass pane beside me, staring at a proces-

what it’s like to be a celebrity: all that

My legs stuck to the purple pleather

Sheree Rose, his mistress, helped with one of his installations, The Wall

in white shirts rolled a stretcher by the

Her shoulders and knees are made of titanium; her joints have worn down she showed me her left hand, how its an with scoliosis, how it can baremorning, she said, they can only gaze to their homes, who watch each oth-

face at the moment of impact of some implement: a whip, a hand, what have think that his open mouth and closed

ductor told us there had been a medical emergency, or perhaps he called it an accident, now I can’t remember

own face, the way my lips part when I

He’s the artist, the pervert, the man hammering the nail through the head -

Someone had jumped from a bridge heard, the one I cried into the phone

guess it’s really a matter of who wants

me, a woman called a friend to com-

ger-lengths away from uttering that Over Thanksgiving break, my mother had a cold; her thin frame ached from she announced to my brother and me, and as our expressions mimicked the watching, she continued making dinner, stirring and pouring as if the snap —Hannah Lamarre

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

LOU GEHRIG BIDS FAREWELL TO THE NEW YORK YANKEES July 4th, 1939

But when you look back on me, think me worthy

POE TRY

Photography by Nikita Merrin

—Kieran Collier

RADIATION for Mom

When Dad said he couldn’t keep the dog in his echoing apartment because he already had plane tickets and a shaman to visit

You, with the cancer cut out of your body, me, imagining it to be like a cave

the dog needed a place to stay while you were north, propped under machines in your thin gown, that none of us had planned this inconvenience,

You, pacing in an emptied house

— Zoe Fay-Stindt Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

The Hospital By Erin Arata Photography by James Jacobs

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

When I was seven, Susie Shepherd pushed me down on the playground, dropped a handful of sand in my face,

to realize that, though my parents’ inevitable divorce had changed me, noth-

No one would hire me once I told

called me a murderer but it wasn’t the

might have lasted longer if my parents hadn’t packed up our station wagon and high-tailed it out to Syosset, leaving our house, my grandmother, and all

watched me across supermarket aisles Susie Shepherd, now running the daycare we’d spent our terrible twos and

Against my better judgment, I agreed to her terms, hurriedly lifting her into my front seat and folding her wheelour empty street in the direction of the hospital, passing a conglomeration of snow-suited children, strolling adults,

with a bucket of sand everyday as my One of them, a middle-aged man in

Leaving was my mother’s idea; she’d

For just a second, his eyes narrowed I passed this again and again on follow us in the rear view, knowing the

her describe it to my father once, when and ambulances to a town that rarely “Margo, at the corner store, told me I’d be happier with the produce outside -

A week later, the wagon’s backseat was full of boxes, their corners jabbing ately to wave goodbye to my grand-

far as I was concerned, they were all followed the wrong group of friends into the wrong house one night, but Stillwater had destroyed more than she had—my mother’s happiness, my parbreath, she choked out, “Wheeler Meemergency room, they were threatening to destroy my grandmother’s health “I’m sorry, miss, but the doctors very

ment jarred the boxes, tipping one on nal look at her, standing alone on the her for years: one arm raised, canyons forming in her face as she tried to her, run-down and empty, void of play-

For the next few months, whenever I passed the building, I wondered, bitterly what would happen if I wrecked my Would a hospital, named after Stillwater’s only murder victims, treat a murderer? On December 17, four days before my twenty-second birthday and nine months after my arrival in Stillwater, I

one besides us had lived on that street The funny thing was that none of us

The

receptionist

repeated

this

watched as she admitted a teenage boy with a broken arm, a suited man with a bloody gash on his forehead, and a ragged, homeless woman with no visiremained coughing and ignored, just as She was resting against the side of her wheelchair, eyelids drooping as she

*** watched their owners too, if only she

especially after—Susie pushed me, I was mother, with her pecan-colored skin and vueltiao hats, much preferred cretoo afraid of life to venture outside of ginia, well, she’d served seven years, but that was for holding a steering

Slumped and gasping against the kitchen cabinets that morning, Virginia I’d been waiting for this, watching attentively as her breathing grew weaker

pants, one missed button gaped in her

I put a hand to my forehead and turned away from the receptionist in

I’d hoped that things would be different when I returned from Syos-

storming into that new hospital, I had

bought, a single, half-empty box sitting beside me, I’d pulled back into Virginia’s

But she shook her head, doing it so adamantly that she triggered a cough-

With an audible groan, she lifted her Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

spotted,

Virginia stared at me, eyes growing brighter and brighter with what I asgan to fade until I could almost see the

breath to speak, but I heard it stick in her throat and the coughing burst out

in common—our dark hair and peridot eyes, my father had always said we

Her

lips,

cracked

and

As soon as she was breathing again, I spun on my heel and marched back to acknowledge me, purposely or accidentally entranced by a small, weath“Are you familiar with the term ‘Hy-

She glanced up, expression grim be“It’s a disease where you’re heart’s

“If you’d been alive forty years ago, In response, she fumbled with her heard something papery crinkle against her heart and the strange emotion grew

gers did what would’ve been impossible for hers, extracting something yellow

back, I let myself follow her to a place memories, pieced together from whispered conversations, recounted stories, and articles I’d read when I was old enough to know how and young enough young Virginia I’d never had the chance

seen it in years, but I knew every crevit and you’ll see how immediately she The receptionist’s expression was a ering between the two as her pudgy she took a deep breath, glanced coldly at Virginia, and said again, “I’m sorry,

The familiar face of a black and white child looked up at me, crying under the

I’d seen a picture in a magazine when I was younger of the view from that

tear on his face screamed accusations while the social worker’s expression Murderer, the picture whispered at

In my mind, I watched those stains form, puddling at the feet of the laugh-

She caught it, cradling it in her rigid, -

boy’s picture, resting gently on the face er at age 11, two days after his parents

her words registered and I felt the col-

would have been closer to the doorway, his body dumped across an old shag I tried to think Virginia’s thoughts as she listened to the tall man talk about

My body turned, of its own accord,

their hands would have been covered in red as they regarded the bleeding

face to the headline, glowing black and she knew he was evil and was only too

noticed this, though; the majority of my focus was on a nameplate I’d no-

The tension in my chest ballooned, ginia, who still suffered daily even as

gleamed, gold-plated and stark against

er’s body and shield her from being laughing with the rest of them, lingering in the doorway because she wanted

to read it before, but now, I took in laThe rest of the memory wasn’t pure injustice, twisting above all the rest in and I was about to breathe a sigh of relief when I reached the last one: Jarod

my mother, who’d read a written con“There are a lot of things that aren’t

it there when she and my father were

Within seconds, I was by Virginia’s grandmother, just after she’d been rean emotion I couldn’t place expanded in 12

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

made me promise that I would never share the story with anyone, not even

its cruelty, and I was only third-gen-

We made our way through many more—pediatric, terminal, burn—and

through, after all the years that had Virginia was in that doorway, watchI could see it now: I’d wheel Virginia to a strange door in a strange hallway turned, worried that it was a neighbor or the police, and there he was: an eleven-year-old boy with perfect curls and

minutes before security would arrive and tell us we had to leave immediately grandmother would ride to the car, dejectedly, her heart broken by the idea

bars every time we passed a nurse or doctor, but no one paid attention to the Finally, my grandmother directed me -

how she knew; I didn’t want to break

Virginia looked from her friends to ness was punctuated by the consistent

Jarod ran, whimpering for his mother

tend to examine her while, in actuality, ensuring that she suffer the same pain-

the next day, shaking and delirious, in My grandmother surfaced from her memories at the same time I did, breaking into the present with a wrack-

to smother the sound, didn’t stop it The cough disappeared when we

What had happened to them was a tragedy, but I could not bear to see my grandmother held accountable for

ordinary—plain and wooden with his

words, but I caught her reply in the hands gripped the wood as she pulled I realized then what she wanted, why derstood what her words meant and the fact that this attempt at making peace was what she’d always wanted, what she still wanted, even after for-

As I was thinking, Virginia kept her faded and their lids eventually drooped, but she watched me all the same, wait-

for a moment, teetering on the edge of -

before he spoke, that was the thing I Jarod Wheeler to alleviate my grandso contrastingly bright without tears in

the clipping in her pocket, but it had never crossed my mind that she’d have

Virginia to know what she needed? can you expect her to be rational?

not meant to be attainable, not meant to be a doctor, not even meant to be

I forced her to suffer more guilt, was I any better than the rest of our town? I knew that Virginia would never blame me for refusing but this fact

me suddenly, even though it had always ing out his life mere miles from where

with silver, barely touched the collar Someone happy, who’d had a normal childhood and a normal life up until this

I watched the calm expression morph I glanced at the receptionist, making sure she wasn’t watching, before lean-

she’d carried in her pocket for decades had returned to Stillwater a man, and

grew bright, the same way my grandmother’s did whenever she regressed

forty years ago, come back to torture ***

think about why she’d chosen to take it As I pushed Virginia out of the emereyes found Virginia and he took a sharp

Virginia didn’t need anymore suffering; living in Stillwater was torture

her sugary smile was enough to turn tivation while my grandmother directed me, not to the elevator or to the exit,

His mouth snapped shut as a tremzen in the doorway, paralyzed mere Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

As her hungry gaze devoured him, his forcing us to carry the guilt of a crime to the room behind him, looking for an The silence expanded like a balloon, derstood the terror in Jarod’s expression, but it took longer for me to see

took everything from me! The least you could do is leave me be! But now you take my peace from me too? You are a

she blamed herself, but that was Still-

mostly my father’s brothers and cousogizing profusely for her inability to water and spent the week in Virginia’s

murderer, I should have blamed them

life, I allowed myself to see what they saw: a patchwork memory of my twenty-one-year-old grandmother, standing in a doorway, watching her friends

It was me that stood next to my grandmother, thanking the relatives for coming, accepting their condolences “Never understood why she didn’t was never friendly to Carwhiles, not

this image, it didn’t matter if she’d been afraid, or in love, or hopelessly con-

Virginia stood, still swaying, still

I didn’t tell him that it remained un-

house, knowing what the Walson Clan change, nor did she make a move to I blinked, fumbling over his words I heard a door open somewhere just wanted you to know how sorry I am “She helped murder Jarod Wheeler’s last word and I realized Jarod wasn’t The man’s expression tightened and hand on her shoulder, letting her know “—Will not talk to my granddaughter A new strength had replaced her nervous desperation but, just as she

Jarod’s brow furrowed, but he didn’t

collapsed into her chair, shaking gracelessly against its frame as her lungs his expression oddly fascinated, until her coughing gave way to gasping, then -

two lungfuls of oxygen, before adding,

I thought about that for a moment and felt my eyes drift towards the cof-

we’d come, the sound of a door shut-

***

I left Stillwater a month after the fued Virginia, but I no longer had a reason

Two months later, I stood beside my

drove west, until a tall man in cowboy

of eyes that could no longer open and a

Nowadays, I spend my nights on a er like lights above a great expanse of

She was dressed in a green dress, hands -

lap, bird limbs poking into me like the My grandmother’s expression turned Twenty-one years had hardened me against that word, but hearing my grandmother’s lips close around its syllowed my family through lunchrooms and hardware stores, sticking to our up groceries and drove home from 14

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Over the past twelve months, I’d watched Virginia’s physical condition of her life, she was breathing through a tube, her enlarged heart taking all the

Every once in a while, she takes hold of the locket I wear around my neck, which is round and gold and much ture of Virginia that rests against my “Where do you think Great-Grandma

prayed from her bed every night and, when she put the rosary beads to her

ode to

CANCER

By Sierra Lister Photography by Sarah Verrill

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

I stood on the street with a packet titled “Chemotherapy and You.” I texted my mom to tell her I have

And then he asked, “Do you know

I’d just left Tufts Medical Center, where a nurse practitioner I’d never met before spent ten minutes trying to

Hodgkin’s lymphoma originates in the lymphatic system, which is directly

Dracula, when the men stab her in her

ripped up tiny pieces of the tissue paper covering her examination table until she

cells called lymphocytes become cancerous and begin to spread systematiI was diagnosed as stage three—stage

saying the results of my needle biopsy

which someone sliced up and looked at gery before and my thrill at experienc-

chair toward me, she said triumphantly, I wasn’t expecting a diagnosis—I’d had a swollen lymph node in my neck for a few months and, mostly to appease my girlfriend who’d been nagging me about it, I went to a health center to have it

people who’d had cancer in my family were my great-grandparents, but they were unrepentant smokers all their

the lump, resting just above my collar-

Here’s what I know now: most cancers

excused herself and came back with another doctor, who barely touched me before she started scheduling an appointment for me to see the Chief of

cans will die of cancer, but genetics don’t

was supposed to meet my girlfriend and through a trach in his neck even while

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

together the day before, and I thought, at least we’d gotten one day in the house I didn’t leave the hospital in a daze, wasn’t fear or sadness, just unbridled

that kills more people in this country is heart failure, and that’s because we’re all

A week later, a completely bald sur-

my health, which had been nearly per-

vacation, I stood on the street with a

uid from my lymph node, which involved peatedly stuck an extraordinarily large

where I grew up on Wonder Bread and ent who worked nights at a hospital, and my sister and I made our favorite dinner all the time: white rice, butter, milk, and

The ozone layer is too thin and getting thinner all the time, exposing us to more ers, laptops, wine, the common cold, deodorant, chips, oral sex, power lines, Vitamin E supplements, hamburgers, hair dye, hula hoops, x-rays, moisturizers, telephone wires, pesticides, red meat, teeth whiteners, and chocolate:

to worry: cancer patients are prescribed Doing chemo is an all-day event, but it’s faster since I got a portacath in my tached to a catheter that snakes under my skin and ultimately connects to a low the skin, so I can see and feel it, even cluding one that turns my pee red, are so toxic that the nurses wear thick purple gloves while handling the syringes—one

into a door, because of neuropathy— ery few weeks, I get a shot of Neulasta, which forces my bone marrow to produce incredible amounts of white blood sharp stabs of pain in my muscles and often neutropenic, which means I have

I have to avoid foods that have a lot of germs on them, like raw vegetables and

No wonder my immune system has the solution? More poison, directly into my veins, every two weeks for six

why I need the port—my veins weaken every time I get chemo, and they might this means I’m part robot now, and then

I started doing chemo on June 3rd, a thank every movie and book that led me to believe I’d be throwing up constantly—this caused a lot of unnecessary panic before I met with my oncologist for a sparrow with a red bob haircut—she keeps touching my shoulder and ask-

For a few days after I get chemo, I’m usually exhausted and have no appetite, but most of the time I feel like I altwo weeks, that means I have one good I hesitate to call having cancer a “posi-

But this hasn’t been a negative expeileged to have lived through something (and I mean this in the most literal sense) which has forced me to recognize that I am capable of withstanding more physical pain, and more fear, than I used to without shame—a dorm room to sleep in between chemo and poetry class, someone to take you to the emergency room, a glass of water for your pills—is a nec-

burn, as though they’ve been slammed Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

The

SAD HYPOTHETICAL TALE EIGHTEENTH CENTURY SELF of my

By Sasha Laferte Illustration by Haley Brown There were many theories about the cause and treatment of hysteria, but because of an ancient theory that said the uterus was a small animal that travelled around a woman’s body, teenth century physician, believed hysteria “occurs in those this seemed an unlikely occurrence to medical doctors at the time, upon examination, even the King of England’s doctor

century, we should be glad we don’t have to submit ourselves to treatment by imbecile doctors who believed it were possible to give birth to rabbits; doctors that poisoned their patients and would even use several incompatible treatments

Others blamed hysteria on women with unruly social lives or, in the case of physician Pierre Roussel, believed it was a ty of New Brunswick and author of Female Patients in Early Modern Britain states, “Nowadays we see it as very clear signs of trying to reinforce what was considered to be women’s

Bernard Mandeville, a Dutch philosopher, suggested horse-

HYSTERIA At night, the streets of London transformed from a hub of ades were wildly popular and public inebriation so common-

Another option would have been to undergo a cliterectomy using a hot iron, or else be threatened with it until I was

There might have been open sores on my midwife’s hands,

“If you look at private medical records, books of If I were stricken by bouts of anxiety and sleeplessness, come, carrying a medical kit and opening it promptly, reI might spot a rectal tube attached to a fumigator meant for

FRENCH POX The sore eventually would turn into a brown rash covering

ual fantasy or vaginal lubrication and if I’d been taking part in Today, we would call the disease syphilis or gonorrhea or a

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

I would try to be discreet about having the disease but the French Pox could be transferred through sex, unlike all other diseases, which they thought were mostly contracted through “Often, what you see is this notion of blaming the was cold and moist meant that she was a vessel for venereal

explanation that I had stayed at a dirty hotel would save my Months later, I would contract a sore throat and fever, and Finding a real cure for French Pox was low on the priority treated people with mercury in the form of a drink, ointment,

“Often, what you see is this notion of blaming the woman,” Churchill says. “The very fact that the woman’s body was cold and moist meant that she was a vessel for venereal corruption.”

MERCURY POISONING I would develop nerve damage and lose my teeth; I’d have One of the most common medical theories at the time was that the body was made up of four humors: black bile, yellow

Harvard University explains, “They would have said, ‘Well, if

With gastrointestinal and kidney problems, my eighteenth century doctor would probably think my black and yellow bile

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

DEHYDRATION I would develop dry mouth, dry skin, a fever, and a sore

The leeches on my skin would slowly cause me to feel at “Is it possible that someone who was suffering from small pox after bloodletting felt more comfortable because they that’s possible, take enough blood from anyone, they’ll fall

I was in severe pain, I might inhale steam of scalding hot vinegar through the tube of a tunnel (straw) and bind a warm Jones explains, “Sometimes it was clearly some kind of

As a last resort (because I’d refuse this otherwise), they

These treatments may seem incompatible to the modern brain, but Jones urges us to think about them in a different “To understand their theories of disease [you must] under-

Despite this admission, multiple incompatible treatments at once, poison as medication, and treating the symptom and not the problem, all seem wild and archaic to the modern

A cancer patient wearily wheels out of what I can only assume was a heavy session of chemotherapy, a treatment that involves killing all rapidly dividing cells, including those I listen to a woman complain about her back pain, and how, though the chiropractor and the meds and the acupuncture didn’t seem to be helping, she really thinks this new tea cleanse and herbal supplement will be the thing that

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

WORLD

MAP of

DISEASE

By Kathryn Barnes Illustrations by Sam Graudins

Ron Chavez checks the weather every time he leaves his home in Califor-

illnesses her husband should watch out night puking, she’ll post on Sickweather’s map to alert her neighbors of a feTracking and forecasting illness using live mapping software is a relatively websites and studies have popped up that use real-time information from the public to gain a better picture of illness ing to track particular illnesses from the common cold to Ebola, and is backed by

Mapping analytics through data mining and crowdsourcing, however, is maps to keep neighbors safe and into track their customer demograph22

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Citizen scientists send photographs of their garden plants to phenologists And now, the Global Health Program at the Council on Foreign Relations is using health mapping software to identify regions undergoing vaccine-preventable disease outbreaks, calling public “We’re arming people with knowl-

His online software creates a global current state of infectious diseases by aggregating information from news site can zoom in on their homes to see what diseases are currently popping up, from respiratory diseases like pneumonia to gastrointestinal diseases like mental conditions and animal diseases that may affect humans, such as foxes found with rabies or beach closures due “If we could start to organize content, and make a world map of disease, HealthMap has grown from a two-person side project at Boston Children’s Hospital to a 40-person operasoftware developers, graphic designers, project coordinators, writers, engineers, and students who translate the public health surveillance research into In their seven years, HealthMap has initial map, but has also collaborated on dozens of side projects related to mapNear Me’ mobile app alerts users of potential health risks the minute they drop their kids off at an after-school

alongside Boston Children’s Hospital and Harvard Medical School, allows people to share side effect experiences with Denver Health’s drug abuse team prescription drug prices on the black Brownstein hopes to partner up with Yelp next to create a map for people to Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

report food poisonings when struck ill “Generally people are pretty collabowith the government’s Centers for Disease Control on projects like DengueMap, which tracks the virus-caused combines the CDC’s information on endemic regions through expert data from international health ministries and organizations with the data HealthThe success of these sites centers on accuracy, and site founders have different views on how to collect the er co-founder Graham Dodge, for example, relies heavily on social media to make his site successful, adding a new dates their Facebook status or tweets “We are tracking sickness in real time with really the only source of real-time data that can be used to track illness, fore ahead of most disease surveillance tools, including what the CDC is curports because “they tend to be about points on HealthMap are reserved for

mark on our map if there were many For the CDC’s Michael Johansson, a biologist who has collaborated with

reasonable data and trying to measure reasonable things with it, or are they trying to extrapolate from something though social media may not be the most reliable information for the outbreaks HealthMap is trying to track, it

says Chavez about using Sickweathnot seem newsworthy, but Chavez says those in the community with weak immune systems, such as pregnant wom24

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“

We try to promote EMPOWERMENT rather than

FEAR

en or patients undergoing chemother“These sites may be effective enough that people might actually change what avoiding the grocery store that week or keeping a child home from school beHowever, some worry that too much knowledge is a bad thing, especially

says Jon Abramowitz, a psychology professor at UNC-Chapel Hill who specialhealth anxieties look for information see that someone in the next town reported some terrible disease, they may

referencing the 2011 thriller that doc-

would be where sites like these would would cause paranoia, especially for those who are already ill and defense-

Brownstein, Dodge, and other illness map creators don’t intend to create “We try to promote empowerment ever, the nature of public sourcing is tions like the CDC is highly regulated, a dynamic, participatory, real-time map Despite advanced algorithms, it’s not Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

PARTY FOWL: pox parties in the age of the

It was the type of party certain mothers wait years to be their children share lollipops, swap plastic whistles, and play became restless and broke out into a game of tag, the adults would encourage them to go back to huddling over the 2 by

mother who hosted it had three children with spots all over Inoculation, the practice of deliberately exposing people to disease as a way of strengthening the immune system, century China tell of doctors grinding up dried smallpox scabs

of uncontrolled, intentional exposure to the disease slowly The varicella vaccine, however, didn’t appear for another 300 hundred years, so do-it-yourself chickenpox inoculation

Because chickenpox leads to more severe complications in adults, many parents felt that infecting their children early old Davis recalls a tea party her mother brought her to when

hide from your friends and neighbors and make sure that nobody found out or somebody might turn you in for being an After the introduction of the Varicella vaccine in 1995, chickenpox cases dropped dramatically as did incidents of

By Michele Debczak Photography by Nydia Hartono Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

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parties still happen today, though they’re now associated with anti-vaccine extremists in search of more holistic health

While it is true that some vaccines contain aluminum, the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia says there is less than half of life than there is in the breast milk that same baby would

The rise of the internet and social media is another factor transforming the way pox parties function in the modern “The vaccine viruses are very carefully monitored by the Food

educator from West Virginia, and she occasionally organizes

from people asking if I know anybody who’s going to be

human cells found in connective tissues rather than the cells found in the back of the throat it will learn to behave

to be named publicly, but they all say ‘put me on the list if you

For parents who see a problem in this, the principle of then intentionally introduce the chickenpox virus into their

online anti-vaccination communities are used as a tool to get been multiple cases of parents mailing contaminated items

Parents skeptical about vaccinating their children, on the other hand, are something her and her colleagues encounter

The varicella virus is unlikely to survive the trip whereas diseases like MRSA or Hepatitis B that could have been carried

see all of the people who could’ve died because they didn’t

Davis has never taken part in such illicit practices, but she’s

97 percent in adolescents and children since the introduction

to interview with me she went out of her way to ensure that

150 people were dying of chickenpox each year and close to been so good over the last several decades with vaccinating

explained that she’s known friends who have battled with Child Protective Services over false allegations regarding

vaccinating we would see, within months, all these diseases So after a day spent playing games and sharing food with three sick friends, Davis’ youngest daughter contracted the

the only two states in the US that won’t grant vaccine

her siblings, and Davis hosted three different chickenpox parties of her own after advertising them on her Facebook

“We homeschooled for four years to get around this vaccine homeschool but because but because we felt that strongly

When I asked Davis what she would consider a safe age to intentionally infect your child she told it me it was different

that the age ranges were too much to juggle and enrolled Davis’ wariness of vaccines began with the birth of her so she would have the opportunity to do some independent of have to go through the information, see where the original

natural health sites, she visited several that struck a chord given to infants contain dangerously high amounts of heavy Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

RIFE WITH CONTROVERSY: CAN RADIO FREQUENCIES REALLY DESTROY DISEASE?

By Loretta Donelan Photography by Haley Brown

who collectively diagnosed her with a myriad of illnesses Only when Kibbie began to see a naturopath, a doctor who specializes in alternative medicine, was she clinically diagten by the tick that gave her the disease, nearly seventeen

tiny pathogens under his microscope explode when coming

says Ken Rauen, a physicist with a hobbyist’s interest in Rife’s

In a 1953 book on his work, Rife wrote that his new sadly because she barely has the energy to cook for her hus-

Medical doctors insisted she didn’t have Lyme disease, some even denying the existence of the disease altogether, so she

Rife’s machines have yet to be tested by any medical asso-

vice that consists of a transmitter box attached with wires to

some of his writing, Rife implied that groups like the American

onto the rods and placing her feet on the mat, and waits for

were taken more seriously during the Rife renaissance of the 1980s, when literature major and self-proclaimed astrologist Barry Lynes published a popular book called, The Cancer homemade Rife machines, for though doctors couldn’t legally

In the 1930s, an inventor named Royal Raymond Rife built a Rife believed these newly spotted pathogens were the cause 30

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

“BASICALLY THE BACTERIA IS CONSTANTLY SECRETING AN ENDOTOXIN, WHICH IS TOXIC TO YOUR BODY,” [KIBBIE] SAYS. “AND WHEN YOU’RE KILLING IT, IT’S LIKE THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A GAS LEAK AND A GAS EXPLOSION.”

ciety dismissed Lynes’ book as “written in a style typical of

“I don’t know any information about why certain wave

currently treating the disease at Falmouth Hospital on Cape

since the 1980s, seems as unhappy with the medical world’s treatment of the disease as Kibbie and Rauen are, and he understands why people turn to alternative, unproven “Why would you turn to that, except that you’re desperate? You’re tired, you’re still sick, and you still have symptoms, causes symptoms like exhaustion and memory loss in the antibiotics were often ineffective and most doctors knew little about it, many Lyme disease patients turned to alternabeen used for diseases like HIV, depression, and cancer (there -

He says that there is little unanimity in the medical community about Lyme, and the amount of research surrounding its treatment and testing is too little for a disease that strikes

only detect the bacteria during a brief stage of the disease, but many doctors will tell you that you don’t have Lyme dis-

Rife machines found a home on the internet, where people discuss their treatments on forums, log their improvements on YouTube, and sell them for thousands of dollars on webBack at her home in Utah, Tina Kibbie is sick, tired, and when she uses the Rife machine, but the next day, she feels “Basically the bacteria is constantly secreting an you’re killing it, it’s like the difference between a gas leak to accuse the AMA of greed, and he believes that treatments Despite this pain, she thinks that her symptoms are get“People are very skittish about writing about this for fear It is this conspiracy theorist’s attitude that has caused

use her device every night, hoping that Royal Rife’s 80-yearold machine will do for her what the modern medical Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Don’t Use Your Words: Art’s alternative to talk therapy

The art studio is long, narrow, and packed tight with art dle, where half a dozen people are already working, there are shelves of beads and buttons, crayons and pastels, construcen handlooms, some already warped with bright thread and

men and women at one time, providing them with an array of services from employment counseling to affordable housing

the social ills of poverty and homelessness by offering open

“Art, in and of itself, the process of doing art, is a healing at the shelter, helps reduce chaos in the lives of people in povwhere they can really be peaceful and go inside themselves and work through whatever they need to work through,

By Emeralde Jensen-Roberts Photography by Becca Chairin

Art therapy differs from traditional verbal therapy because it recognizes that there are some problems that cannot be ar-

Emily Gould, a lecturer in the undergraduate art therapy 32

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

“There’s a lot of things that you can’t put words to, I think,

the weekly demonstrations of Saori hand weaving, the role artistic approaches, Dolph has more of a hand in how certain

therapy research in trauma and how trauma’s encoded, and and methods that they use later as springboards for their own kind of see how things would come out as art that couldn’t be Making art helps people regain control in times when their Looking around the studio, it appears that this emphasis on Emmanuel College, Emily Gould interned at the Lombardi children taught her to recognize the strength a person can sit across from a man named Jeff, who slowly moves a wet “Often, it’s the one thing that kids can control during the day, which sounds small but it’s huge when the

It’s the end of October and he tells me that he has been

When I ask what it is he’s painting, a wide blue-covered canvas with a pink stripe overhead, he tells me it will be a

Art therapy emerged in Britain and the United States si-

In 1938, a tuberculosis patient named Adrian Hill was recovering from an operation in the King Edward VII sanatori-

that this routine lessened his physical pain and his emotional Driven by personal success, Hill began recommending art began referring to his work as ‘art therapy,’ coining the phrase In the United States, a psychologist named Margaret Naumberg began using art in the 1940s as a means of free association, in which the conjuration of one thought or image can spontaneously trigger another, even if the connection

mal’ for kids was another big thing because so much of their

“

[B]eing able to do something that is ‘normal’ for kids was another big thing because so much of their world is not normal.”

”

necessarily be struggling with cancer, their trials are pervaLoretta, a portrait artist, shows me a portfolio of her

mediums, Naumberg encouraged her clients to release their unconscious by making art, then later, going back to interpret

art student, incorporated the phrase into the academic realm when she founded the art therapy graduate program at New The portfolio is a subtle reminder of the range of needs that the universality of using art as a language for healing; it is a mid-twentieth century, several hospitals and clinics had begun to include art therapy as a form of rehabilitation for

“Art therapy isn’t about making a Monet or the most just be willing to try and put out your thoughts in a different

of incorporative art therapy efforts and the versatility of the Ultimately, art therapy affords people the opportunity to Studio time serves as an interval when artists can be free to Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

asked, you can’t explain why you are so captivated by the antics onscreen, but

The Jerry Springer Show aired in 1991, ratings led to a threat of cancelation in 1994, at which point Springer and his producers decided to radically change The Jerry Springer Show has become notorious for its parade of deviant guests who voluntarily take the stage

Twenty

three

years

later,

The

million daily viewers and has spawned numerous successful spin-offs, such All three of these syndicated daytime talk shows have been sold through September 2016 in more than 60% of According to Jane Shattuc, professor of Media Criticism and author of The Talking Cure, there are two primary ways people watch The Jerry Springer comprised mostly of young 18-20 somethings watching it as a form of watches it straight, for the violence and watch] depends on your class, economic standing, and education more than any

DAYTIME TELEVISON:

Jerry Springer

The wall between viewer and subject is even more obvious to members of the live audience during the show’s

clap they told us to clap, and when they We were encouraged at points to talk

By Sara Selevitch Photography by Patrick Lynch

Sneezing and coughing, you lie cocooned in your bed, now a graveyard empty mugs of tea and bowls of soup, you reach for the TV remote and point it towards the electric box in front of

these people on stage with outlandish just ready to watch from the sidelines These tabloid talk shows have become our modern Collesium duels, where the spectators are only too willing to watch

man in his twenties tell his girlfriend in a thick Southern accent that he feeling in your stomach is not of shock 34

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

at Mass General and co-author of the paper “From Elephant Man to Jerry

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Springer: the rise of the psychological

“The whole problem with the Jerry Springer Show is its appeal to regressive,

race and geographic location and making Historically, daytime television has been geared towards middle class of conglomerates and the country’s growing economic disparities shifted the target daytime audience to what Shattuc describes as “a different, lower, Jerry Springer and Ricki Lake made the leap from help-oriented programming to a more combative format that focused “Daytime talk shows have always been met with classism, whether they

viewers derive

often stems from the

are actors, some are in on the game, and some just want their Warholian staged; some of these people have very

Other talk shows like Oprah typically identify a potential solution to the issue at hand and then bring on an expert to intellectualize it and provide important Jerry Springer ends each show with a segment called Final Thought, where Jerry provides a brief public service “Final Thought attempts to assuage all the damage the show has done in “There is no analysis or discussion about

When

The

Jerry

Springer

Show

third season, though, it is obvious to that 36

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

For twenty-three years, The Jerry Springer Show has you show aggressive, inappropriate behavior, you normalize staged, but there were clearly people in pain, and we were all

Gauge â&#x20AC;˘ Sick â&#x20AC;˘ Fall 2013

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

DRAW A TIGER

ON MY FACE

&to sleep

put me

By Chase Souders Photography by James Jacobs I watch Christen tap her nails on cardboard for ten minutes on YouTube I refresh the page and watch it all the Aurette likes poetry and did a reading tened to her tell me that she likes poetry, and did a reading at her local library Lillian is thinking about going blonde

Peter likes especially bitter Belgian every night, the same way, word for Each time I watch these videos I orASMR (Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response) is usually explained as a pleasurable tingling that begins near the scalp and moves slowly through fers to the nature of ASMR because the

of height or elevation, is an allusion to the orgasmic nature of the physical re-

The most common external triggers for someone who experiences ASMR ing, brushing, close personal attention, touching to the head or back, or even

have to guess what they’ve drawn? Do you remember the tingling you might have felt? Or what about when you’re watching a movie that is so good that you start to get the chills? That is the pleasure of what some might call a times separate the sudden chill received from art or music into another Until very recently, there wasn’t a now, very little is known about it, where it comes from, why only some people report feeling it, and what the real trigHowever, in the last three years, Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

ASMR has made a leap in popularity and recognition due to more online ex-

different feelings to the same stimulus, and, of course, when most people report nothing at all, it is easy to assume that ASMR is simply a subjective reaction, rather than a universal neural

hopelessly minimal, the discussion is pedia page now, and the term has ap-

research has been done at this time, it is a matter of taking people’s word seriously if you do not experience ASMR

Popular news and discussion website Reddit has a page dedicated to the discussion of ASMR and its video triggers;

growth of ASMR can be mostly attributed to the growing numer of ASMRtists

A recent top post? A girl pretending to paint a cartoon tiger on your face at a

Steven Novella, a writer for the New England Skeptics Society and clinical neurologist and assistant professor at Yale says, “In this way it’s similar to mi-

page is the full collection of Bob Ross’s “I think if someone walked in on me with an ASMR video it’d be harder to supposed to be close to your face, with -

A tell-tale sign of ASMR’s burgeoning is simply the number of viewings of the numerous trigger videos (videos made intentionally to produce ASMR sensahundreds upon hundreds of trigger videos by different ASMRtists, also called Whisperers, and many of their record-

But for some, these manufactured triggers just don’t induce the same tingling, relaxing, mesmerizing feeling as “I feel like trying to simulate ASMR says Matt Ploss, “It’s such an interesting sensation that you can kind of get addicted to it, so of course you end up reaching a point where the watered down stuff doesn’t do it for you any-

Novella goes on to express his own theory of where the ASMR sensation may stem from: “ASMR could just be a way of activatbrains are fundamentally hardwired

a range of likes and dislikes, and there are individuals and even subcultures that seem to have a different pattern of pleasure stimulation than what is typ-

During the show, Ross would smoothly brush and tap splotches of paint on

they seek out greater and greater triggers of this response, and perhaps then a learning or conditioning component

One user, aptly named GentleWhispering, has videos posted that have reached over 3 million views in just one camera, going from ear to ear, changto barely audible and then back to soft

as a syndrome primarily because many different people report the same constellation of symptoms and natural his-

Today ASMR is still not included in -

Later she gives some cliché relation-

Common video role-play themes include pretend haircuts, visits to the er will slowly run their brush across the camera and microphone and perhaps softly touch the camera lens, which is 40

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

“I think it’s his deep, soothing voice, but also the close personal attention that can set off a lot of people, or may-

experience will remain a niche market, only to be glanced at with a skeptical eye by those who do not feel the sensory response or have not found their

***

videos and discussions are being gener-

With the term only recently coined, -

towards ASMR may be that it has not yet butted into mainstream conscious-

“

I think if someone walked in on me with an ASMR video it’d be harder to explain than porn. Matt Ploss

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

W KENING IN THE

GE OF

SURRENDER: MODERN-D Y SH M NISM

By Libby Webster Photography by Carina Allen 42

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

There is a way to illuminate your

their bodies, embark on an exploration of spirituality and see the world outside

An ancient prophecy taken from the elders of the Hopi, a Native American tribe based in Arizona, reads, “There is a

help others journey through their consciousness and beyond their bodies

and swift that there are those who will

understanding of the self and the These spiritual guides, communicators, and healers can be found from the foggy Peruvian jungles to the dusty expanse of red, western

the average person’s life is wildly complicated, due in part to social media, the Internet, and an unrelenting stream of information, the values of shamanism

lot of unseen things, things that you

modern-day people who abide by these

James Riverstone, a shaman based

Shamanism is estimated to have originated tens of thousands of years ago and then seeped into communities worldwide—there are a number of different estimates on the exact date of its conception, but in 2008, researchers from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem discovered a site from twelve thousand years ago that holds the earliest known signs of shamanism: shamanic burials, complete with grave offerings and a

voice, he explains, “Shamanism is not

The practice of shamanism is focused on the pursuit of knowledge and healing, of living in harmony with the spirits that reside in nature and

Aside from a heightened level of awareness and open communication with other entities, he goes about his

“Shamanism, and metaphysics, is

spiritual understanding of how reality A silver-haired man with kind brown eyes and an even calm air about him, he stands at just under six feet and, in his everyday life, dresses in unassuming

shamanism shape his everyday life, but

That is, until he is called upon to communication and a relationship with the entities of the world is vital to the practice, which is achieved through plant medicine (peyote, ayahuasca, et

perform various ceremonies, including Illumination Processes (core cleansings portions of one’s soul are retrieved),

With stones, feathers, crystal skulls, water, instruments, singing, and an assortment of other sacred talismans kept prepared for these ceremonies, shamans believe they can heal by cleansing the energy around those as it’s called, occurs when shamans work directly with both the physical and spiritual body of those who want souls of those seeking enlightenment, removing the toxic elements that gradually accumulate in the luminous,

and travels to larger ceremonies that take place across the world, gatherings of both established shamans and those Riverstone began his own journey in the early ‘90s when he began to “search has been involved in formal shamanic studies and indigenous medicine traditions of the Inka in the Andes of When Riverstone began studying shamanism, there was little information available on the practice but he witnessed a shift in attitudes toward

believe they have the ability to leave Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

“The surrendering is basically letting and with most of the people in the world today, is that we’re getting it—

beyond, we’re a little bit stubborn—it’s Even with the open-mindedness of younger generations, there are many misconceptions regarding shamanism “What’s happened in contemporary culture, especially in the Western world, is that we tend to taint [shamanism] by misusing it or overusing it, and that’s why we have to be really careful and

Ayahuasca and peyote, contrary to popular belief, are not for recreational heal and to stimulate or awaken the user and are among other herbs that shamans

illuminate your ILLUMINATE YOUR insides INSIDES

Riverstone explains that the plants are misunderstood because people “When we sit with them we respect them as our elders, and we listen to their

As for the belief that shamans and the spiritually enlightened don’t live in commonplace society—Riverstone, and many other followers of shamanism, shamanism believe the idea is hokey, or Nonetheless, Riverstone believes the younger generation is more openminded and interested in the mystery teachings and that events like Burning Man—“a whole city all about peace and

Millennials are the most plugged-in inward could be just what the doctor the American Psychological Association in August of 2012 found Millennials to be the generation with the highest stress level, and that nineteen percent of Millennials have been told they have depression, compared to the fourteen percent of Generation Xers and twelve It is possible, in modern-day society, to incorporate aspects of shamanism 44

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

ceremonies, spiritual journeys, and other services provided by shamans that Meditation is a way to open yourself up

toward those who have yet to begin their spiritual journey, keeping an open mind and instead asking a general, simple “I’m not going to sit here and try to convince you or anyone that this is the

the same as embarking on a journey with a shaman, these small steps still employ At its core, shamanism imparts the importance of spiritual awareness, focusing on good energies and being awake and present—philosophies that can be woven into anyone’s life, through

line—we all have to ask ourselves: if you don’t believe this, what is it that you do

But there is a distinction between incorporating some aspects of spirituality into your life and actually leading the spiritually enlightened path and study to become a teacher, and the learning never truly stops for even the Though Riverstone now leads an enlightened path and believes it is important for all of humanity to tap into the spirituality that lies dormant inside, he takes an accepting stance Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

INSIDE THE WORLD OF competitive eating

By Lisie Sabbag Photography by Courtney Tharp At the Yogurtland Fro Yo Eating Challenge in Boston, a small group of com-

of the competitive eating circuit, known for his wild red beard and booming -

The voracious couple has been a sta-

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

To do this, Stonie has drastically Wandering in late is the star of the show, third ranked competitive eater in curately described as looking like “Rory Cochran’s character in Dazed and Con-

vored frozen yogurt is brought out onto one pulls out water bottles and towels

ple line up to torture themselves with pounds of food time and time again? “I’ve always been a competitive person, I’ve always loved performing and competing, and this kind of brought He got his start at a lobster-eating contest, which he entered on a whim food, cash prizes and feedback from the audience, he went on to enter in more

the crowd goes silent, and all eyes are on the stage as contestants lift their

chosen to devote a large part of their lives training and competing by eating ted to everything that comes with it, but

practice helps him with hand speed and ing food that will allow them to stretch their intestines without consuming too your stomach, you have to train your “The amount of mental prep is much

man versus food adventures two years ago, Stonie has become a true competitor in the eating world and is now the main threat to reigning king, Joey

Everyone on stage, save for newbie ing-sanctioned competitors, everyone

around the world to eat, he says that at least once a week he will cook for an hour before consuming all the food in a

In the past year, Stonie has set the record for gyoza (pot stickers) and asparNathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest, widely recognized as the golden standard of month and makes his living from cash

gym and taking care of your diet—that’s trying to psych yourself up for the next contest and pushing your limits all the As a student studying nutrition, Stonie knows that pushing yourself is not day of the obese eating champion has now been replaced by the reign of skinny eaters, there are many other health Stonie, like most professionally eat-

SO WHY DO ALL THESE PEOPLE LINE UP TO TORTURE THEMSELVES WITH POUNDS OF FOOD TIME AND TIME AGAIN? 48

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

ers, diets and exercises to counterbalance the ridiculous amounts of food he eats, but in the moment of speed eating, competitors put themselves at risk of

their MLE authority to make it the comNathan’s Hotdog Eating Contest was

Bryan stretches and rubs his stomach,

the world started taking notice of this

calls everyone to attention and says,

has little time to adapt to the unnatural people’s bodies would simply reject the food by vomiting, competitive eaters have trained their bodies to overcome

It’s four minutes into the Yogurtland Wild Bill and Stonie are tied for the

like so many others before him, keeps Big eaters like Stonie can be traced all the way to Norse mythology when the god of trickery, Loki, challenged his

ing at his bowl angrily, and everyone

Conti looks dejected as Cole takes third place with seven and a half pounds, and Wild Bill takes second place with eight Stonie takes the lead by a mile, setting a world record in frozen yogurt eating

that is, except for Stonie, who calls for -

Unlike the other competitors, he

there’s some revival in the eyes of the competitors and eating becomes more

says, “My stomach is a little numb, like I was just shot with Novocain, but really I

Stonie pauses to take a sip of water, then downs another half-pound of -

It seems the rush of a cheering crowd really can drown out the sickness anyone who just ate over ten pounds of

ous eating, then everyone steps back

record to that and you’ve got a pretty

version of competitive eating we have Hotdog eating contest according to Nathan’s started hosting their hotdog-eating contest in 1916 and it soon became a Coney Island tradition every that competitive eating took on a legitimate edge when George and Richard Shea started Major League Eating

moment is taken to tally the scores as

feeling too well is the look on his face after receiving his prize—a lifetime sup-

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

y og ol

et By Lisie Sabbag Photography by James Jacobs

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

CHICKEN POX

Smallpox doesn’t sound too scary, what with the word small and all, so when chicken pox came around, they had to come up with a name for the virus that conveyed it’s seriousness in were often used in reference to children in the late 1600’s when the word was created, and so came about the name

LOLLIPOPS says that it comes from the Romany word loli phaba which says that the candy is named after a race horse Lolly Pop in the early 1990’s when a man put soft sweets on a stick so that in certain southern dialects, lolly means to smack or punch, so a lollipop is a smack or punch in

BIZARRE Today we use the word bizarre to mean odd and fantastical, bizar seems French soldiers found the fact that Spanish soldiers wore beards to be incredibly odd, or bizarre, and stole their of the word went through several stages where it meant

the funky facial hair hipsters, lumberjacks and the Red Sox are

TOXIC

Toxicos was the Greek word used to describe things that had

of the more deadly weapons as they allowed the aggressor to

STIGMA

Today we use the word stigma to describe the often unfair beliefs society holds against a group of people, the way people who are different are symbolically marked so that society can stigmatas were physical marks made on those who were ‘lesser’, often to make it easier to spot someone who you should stay away or stigmatas on another human being, or leaving the emotional

PEYOTE Mescal cactus, more widely known as peyote cactus, was named after the Nahuatl word peyotel which means caterpillar

word, toxic, refers to this poison used in archery, although we

SNEEZE The word sneeze came about by accident when the Middle fnwas used in only eight words, fnese also used a slightly slanted ‘f’ as a long ‘s’ back then, so when actual ‘f’s were mistakenly replaced with an ‘s’, including fnese. Imagine, if someone had looked a little closer, we would still be saying “I think I feel a fuh-neeze

Peyote has long been used to aide in spiritual rituals of South American shamans, but recently teenagers and thrill seekers alike have appropriated the experience and are using the sacred

PLEASURE

Oxford English Dictionary, coming from the Latin root plaisir Plaisir means to please or to be approved, meaning that originally pleasure is something that could only be achieved you could get for yourself, and really wasn’t about you at all but Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Oh, there’s an open step here where no one is standing? That’d make for the perfect seat! I’m sure no drunken kid has ever puked an entire pepperoni and mushroom pizza up on this step has never smudged the aforemenDon’t sit down anywhere but in an

you doing? As if you’re so weary you’d rather sit in the memories of puke and shit than stand for a few minutes? Get

YOU SH -

were to open your own franchise you could give yourself half-off on all appeWouldn’t you be taking the appetizer money away from yourself by giving yourself half-off? OK, don’t open your own franchise because then you would give yourself half-off on appetizers and you’d get more appetizers, but you’d be

cheeseburger sliders? The wings? Jesus Christ! How can you not give yourself half-off? But how can you take money right out of your own pocket? Opening your own franchise would just create a massive dilemma, which would of course lead to psychiatric treatment, 52

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

which may involve medication and costly therapist sessions where you’d have to talk about “The Applebee’s

you really were drinking at the time of

You should return your shopping carts to the Hey-I’m-Done-With-MyShopping-Cart-I’m-Going-To-Put-Itknow, the parking space dedicated to that one purpose and clearly marked for that purpose by the metal barriers among us who absolutely refuse to sort of person to leave his cart strewn throughout the parking lot so I have to swerve around it in my car,or in some instances, leave my car to move it

of your face as you can so everybody (obviously everybody is looking at you with your Smart Book) can see you’re

There is no place for these people in a lot so everybody can be reassured that you’re having a helluva intellectual time reading your Smart Book, but the whole time you were thinking, I should go to Chili’s for dinner tonight.

HOULD Read a Smart Book in public and hold up that Smart Book as high in front

By Chase Souders • Illustrations by Haley Brown

ty sure that was our hands’ original when we took down a deer in the jungle we didn’t have to act undigniYet, when I’m in a restaurant trying to use chopsticks on a piece of slippery salmon and I drop the salmon then pick it up with my hand, put it into my palm, and throw it down my throat,

will not be reduced to looking like an I’ve tried for three years to learn how

use chopsticks is what I’m really trying

Gauge • Sick • Fall 2013

Gauge Magazine is produced twice a year by undergraduates at Emerson visit our website at knowgaugebetways welcomes submissions for future tions, personal essays, and everything reverts to the individual artists and auunder any circumstances without writ-

Special thanks to Joe O’Brien at ShawGauge • Sick • Fall 2013