Can we…?
by
Sophannary Kong
[Can We…?]
One midnight… “Yeobo, this love.. won’t go nowhere. Let end it now for our better future!” You said from one end of the phone.
After the call ended, I confirmed myself “We break up??!! This love leads to nowhere?!”
As soon as I told myself “I’m ok", the tears that had been waiting long to fall rolled freely on my cheeks. People says “Don’t cry over love”, but now I did… I did it painfully. The more I kept repeating “I’m ok. I will be fine" “I don’t really love that much”, the harder the tears dropped.
Just within 5 min, I became tear-drunk. My hands.. stopped doing their job. They didn't even bother to wipe the wet face anymore. My brain.. kept rewinding our last conversation.
Your words.. stung my heart. “…There was one time that you made my cool heart flattered; that's the only moment that I thought we should have made it IF only we are possible…” you said.
Deep inside I was arguing with myself "I hate the world that made us impossible”
The first day after that night was the hardest day. I couldn't do anything. My head kept rewinding our possibilities.. the imaginary possibilities. As days went on, I was curious how you would felt, whether you became uneasy like me, whether you kept looking into the phone screen hoping that I would call you as I did. It was a silent, painful week for me. Many times, I really wanted to call and ask you “Can we just forget what we said that night?” “Can we pretend that we didn’t break up yet?"
One week passed, and you called. You talked like nothing happened, but to me..there was something missing. There was awkward moment when we tried to avoid using our pet names. It was so awkward that we just used the pronoun “I” to refer to ourself. My heart.. numbed when I realised that I couldn’t even call you “Honey” as I always did before. It shouted crazily inside; it beat restlessly against my foolish ignorant mouth.… Can I just come back to you, yeobo?
- The End -