“The Death of Fall | Anonymous

and pretend you understand what they are saying even if they are speaking too softly for you to hear. This is how to clean them. This is how you dry them. This is how you charge them. This is how you connect them. This is how you ignore the cracking and sputtering and the tinny turn-on sound that pops right into your ears. This is how you stand still and let the doctors stick tubes and silly devices into your ears. But my ears hurt and I don’t like the cracking and sputtering. Don’t worry about the sputtering, you’ll learn to ignore it. Sit still in the sound booth and wave at Elmo when he pops up. You will have to do these tests alone. Stack the blocks, clap when you hear the monkey bang his cymbals, raise your hand at the beep. You must not move when the audiologist pours gooey liquid silicon into your ear. No, you shouldn’t get sparkly molds. Why don’t we just make your molds tan so they blend in with your skin? Fine, we’ll make them sparkly and ocean blue. This is how you put them in your ears just right so they don’t fall out. They still fall out. This is how you tell people you have accommodations. This is how to look straight ahead into the speaker while it plays the same tune on repeat so they can calibrate. This is how to curl your tongue to make the Th sound. No, no, not an S. Repeat these words, will you? Dog, Baseball, Cap, Bat, Hat. Good, now what is a long, reddish-yellow vegetable that has green leaves and a long stem? Good job, now could you sit still for me for one second? Now don’t be late, it’s your first day of school, you know. And don’t forget your Hearing Aids. •