Glossier You: A Life Remembered

June 21, 2020 – March 20, 2023

By Elizabeth Walters

Dear friends,

It is with great sadness that we gather here today to mourn the loss of a beloved companion, Glossier You, who was taken from this earth too soon at the Heathrow security.

I met Glossier You two years ago on my eighteenth birthday. She was a gift from my little sister, a crop of a summer’s minimum wage and a coupon code.

A marriage of femininity and musk with notes of citrus and spice, her scent followed me through life and became somewhat of a signature. She grew up with me. She was there when I walked across the stage at high school graduation; her flirtatious aromas guided me through my first kiss. Every meeting, every interview, every mundane coffee date: she was the final step in my routine, the cherry on top.

She was a powerhouse in her industry, the confidant of every twenty-something - a fragrance of a generation. She was a rite of passage after the days the days of Warm Vanilla Sugar. Worn glossier.com to prove her innocence. Even the tears from a twenty-year-old teenage girl did nothing for her case.

Today, my heart is heavy. A piece of me has been missing since March 20. I’ve been confined to maintaining my floral mystique with a Dove 48-hour. I find myself in anguish every time I pass a trendy Gen Z; I save myself tears and hold my breath for fear of catching her citrus whiff.

As we part ways, let us remember Glossier You as more than just a fragrance, but as a symbol of youth, growth, and coming of age. Let us celebrate her life and the impact she had on us, and let us vow to never forget the joy and confidence that came in her trademark glass bottle.

Rest in peace, Glossier You. You will be missed, but never forgotten. And your replacement will arrive in 3-4 business days.

by Apatow

nepotism babies and underage Hawk drinkers alike, she was a woman of the peoplean egalitarian and probably a socialist.

At just $64, she graced the pages of Vogue alongside the Chanel N°5s and J’Adores of Big Perfume. She did honest work and had a successful career; her last business venture was a promotion to a lotion and body wash duo.

Her departure from this earth was a byproduct of an unjust system. Cashing in at just 1.7 fluid ounces, her journey to gate A33 was perfectly legal, but an unforgiving security guard insisted that her lack of a label dubbed her as contraband. I tried to plea with Mr. Heathrow; I insisted that she was a well-seasoned traveler, and I even took the lengths to www.