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WEDNESDAY

DECEMBER 1, 2010

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CELEBRATING 39 YEARS OF INDEPENDENCE

Expectations high for next president By Becca Clemons news@kykernel.com

PHOTO BY MIKE WEAVER | STAFF

UK freshman guard Brandon Knight shoots the ball during the first half of the University of Kentucky's basketball game against Boston University at Rupp Arena in Lexington, Ky., on Tuesday. UK led the game 40-33 at halftime.

A tale of two halves Passionate second-half play powers UK past Boston University 91-57 By Aaron Smith asmith@kykernel.com

UK could hear yelling and screaming pulsating from the visitor’s locker room at halftime. Boston University was within seven points of UK after 20 minutes of play-- and in Rupp Arena. It looked like UK was jetlagged from the trip to Maui in the first half. Then the Cats turned on the jets, roaring to 12 straight points out of the break and burying Boston 91-57. “When we were in there, you could hear the other team yelling and screaming because

they were only down seven,” said freshman Doron Lamb, who scored 13 points off the bench. “So, we just wanted to come out at the beginning of the second half and be more aggressive.” The Cats came out not only more aggressive, but more accurate. UK made 8-of10 3-pointers in the second half. “It sure beats missing them,” UK assistant coach John Robic said. The sharpshooting helped UK on a 28-5 run to start the half and put the game out of reach.

“We were hoping to just hang and hang as long as we could,” Boston head coach Patrick Chambers said. “And that spurt in the first five minutes (of the second half) was just crushing, absolutely crushing.” Freshman Brandon Knight, like the team, started off sluggish, with two early turnovers and a 3-point air ball on his first shot of the game. But he found his rhythm soon enough and keyed UK’s 12-0 run to start the second half with a pull-up jumper in transition and a 3-pointer. He finished with 23 points on 8for-12 shooting. “They started playing me PHOTO BY MIKE WEAVER | STAFF for the pass, and I had a lot of UK's Josh Harrellson pulls up a shot during the See HOOPS on page 2 first half of the University of Kentucky's basketball game against Boston at Rupp Arena.

Author to give talk on Africa, Europe By Kelsey Caudill news@kykernel.com

Students interested in common themes of government, economy and religion in two globally opposite continents can discuss these topics with a renowned author on Wednesday. Jean Comaroff will discuss her book, “Theory From the South: Or, How Euro-America is Evolving Toward Africa,” on the 18th floor of Patterson Office Tower in the West End Boardroom from 4-6 p.m. Comaroff’s lecture will examine the similarities between Africa and Europe—the global north and south—including democracy, law, national borders, labor, capital and religion, according to a university press release. The UK Committee on Social Theory selected Comaroff as its 2010 fall distinguished speaker. The committee has devoted itself to embracing interdisciplinary exchange and discussion in addressing social theory in both historical and contemporary issues since 1989. Committee Director Suzanne

Pucci said the lecture coincides with UK’s 2010-11 diversity collaborative focusing on South Africa. “Much of Comaroff’s research has indeed been conducted in Botswana and South Africa as her books illustrate,” Pucci said. “Her lecture will examine the local contexts and practices of the global south in relation to the contexts of Europe, the West, including the United States, and the global north.” Comaroff is the Bernard E. & Ellen C. Sunny Distinguished Service Professor of Anthropology and Social Sciences at the University of Chicago and the director of the Chicago Center for Contemporary Theory. As an anthropologist and social theorist, Comaroff focuses on colonialism, modernity, ritual, power and consciousness. Gender and women’s studies Assistant Professor Srimati Basu said that Comaroff’s lecture is an opportunity students will not want to miss. “She has been writing for more than 25 years about these topics but constantly engages new material.”

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The Presidential Search Committee, with the Board of Trustees, completed a position announcement for the search for the 12th president of the University of Kentucky. The announcement lists leadership, scholarly achievement and communication skills among the qualifications for an ideal presidential candidate. “As the position announcement makes clear, we have extremely high expectations for our next president,” committee chair Jim Stuckert said. He said a goal is to attract a leader who will continue to work toward UK becoming a Top 20 public research institution. Excellence in research and education are stressed in the announcement, and it mentions that UK is Kentucky’s principal doctoral degree-granting institution, a fact that Stuckert rates highly. “We are a flagship institution and a landgrant university,” he said. “That means the best in education, research and service to our Commonwealth. [The next leader] should have a record of scholarly achievement and an understanding of how a top-flight academic institution functions and, in particular, the importance of a high-quality faculty in ensuring success.” Stuckert said advertisements containing the announcement will run in upcoming issues of the Chronicle of Higher Education and other higher education publications, after which the formal nomination process will begin. He said the search is on schedule with the timeline adopted by the trustees, and it will be several weeks until the number of initial candidates is known. Executive search firm Greenwood/Asher & Associates, Inc. is assisting UK with the search. “This position announcement is an important milestone in the selection process,” Trustee Chairman Britt Brockman said. “We are now in the process of formally soliciting nominations for the presidency. As importantly, we are making a statement to the higher education community and more broadly about the kind of university we are today and what we plan to be in the future – a Top 20 public research institution that makes a profound difference in our state and our world.” Candidates for the presidential position may elect to remain confidential throughout the search process, which is a factor the committee and the trustees are still discussing. “It's an important balance that we are trying to achieve—maintaining some level of confidentiality so that we can attract the best possible candidates while keeping our state and our campus as informed as possible,” Stuckert said.

Seasonal favorite to rock Rupp By Mary Duffy features@kykernel.com

The Christmas season begins Wednesday with the help of the Trans-Siberian Orchestra, one of the worlds top-selling concerts. The Trans-Siberian Orchestra will perform Wednesday at 7:30 p.m. in Rupp Arena. The Trans-Siberian Orchestra's performances incorporate theatrical strobe lighting effects, lasers, fog and pyrotechnics. “TSO has been called a mix of The Who's Tommy and Andrew Lloyd Weber with Pink Floyd's lights thrown in,” said Rosemarie Moehring, the Director of Marketing for Live Nation. “It is one of the only acts today that resonates with younger, rock music fans as well as older adult contemporary listeners.” Paul O'Neill, the band’s producer, lyricist and composer has managed and produced rock bands including Aerosmith, AC/DC, and Joan Jett. He started TSO to push the boundaries

more than any other band had before and he creates performances that, he hopes, will leave the audience speechless. “The show was designed to make an emotional impact, and I believe that it does just that,” Moehring said. “It's a musical journey that encompasses a symphonic rock show with a holiday feel. There is truly something for everyone at each show.” The Trans-Siberian Orchestra has had five albums to date including: Christmas Eve and Other Stories, The Christmas Attic, and The Lost Christmas. The TransSiberian Orchestra's latest release Night Castle, was certified gold in less than 8 weeks. Attendance in 2009 was more than 1.2 million, and is expected to be higher in 2010. “TSO has become a holiday tradition over the years,” Moehring said. “Once someone has seen it they tend to tell all their friends what an amazing

show it is, and attendance grows each year. I've seen TSO at least four times and each year they strive to make it better than the last, and they always succeed.” TSO donates $1 from every ticket sold to charity, and in the past 10 years has donated over $7 million dollars to charity. At each city where TSO performs the

charity dollars stay local. “We partnered with Mix 94.5FM for the Lexington show and $1 from every ticket sold is going to the Kentucky Children's Hospital,” Moehring said. Tickets can be purchased through Live Nation, Ticketmaster, or from Rupp Arena's Box Office.

PHOTO BY CHRIS SWEDA | MCT

Trans-Siberian Orchestra performs during their Beethoven's Last Night Tour at the Chicago Theatre, April 17, 2010, in Chicago, Illinois.

Newsroom: 257-1915; Advertising: 257-2872


PAGE 2 | Wednesday, December 1, 2010 sports

Cats unite to win for Calipari NICK CRADDOCK

Kernel columnist Responding to a loss is always tough. Although difficult to handle for any athlete, a loss represented in the win-loss column proves how sports are so insignificant at times. After suffering a blowout loss to Connecticut in the Maui Invitational’s championship game last week, Tuesday’s game against the lessthan-intimidating Boston University Terriers was a chance for the Cats and UK head coach John Calipari to respond to a loss—yet not the kind of loss represented in the win-loss column. The game represented the challenge of coming back from adversity off the court as Calipari’s mother, Donna, died at 74 on Sunday after

HOOPS Continued from page 1 open shots that just fell,” Knight said. “I just let the game come to me.” Knight said he had an emphasis on distributing the ball early in the game, a move that led to six assists on the game. “He was proud of the number of assists he had tonight, which is a different mentality for him,” Robic said.

Horoscope To get the advantage, check the day's rating: 10 is the easiest day, 0 the most challenging. Aries (March 21-April 19) Today is an 8 Your dreams are stirring up your desire for change. Put together a well thought out plan for what you envision. Small steps make big progress. Taurus (April 20-May 20) Today is an 8 Social activities cement relationships, as you meet unusual individuals. Don't try to imitate their glamorous style. Instead, invent your own. Gemini (May 21-June 21) Today is a 6 Use all the facts at your disposal, as you create a plan for change. Maintain workflow at the same time. Decide how much time to spend on each task. Cancer (June 22-July 22) Today is a 6 Great ideas flow between you and key associates. You agree that a persuasive message is needed, and

losing her battle with cancer. “It was a nice tribute for our players to wear the black socks for Cal’s mom,” said UK assistant coach John Robic, who was filling in for the grieving Calipari at the postgame news conference. “And that’s a special thing… we’re all in this together and he knows we’re here for him.” Calipari and his assistant coaches donned all-black suits for the game also, and a smattering of the fans in Rupp Arena sported black in honor of Calipari’s mother. Whether you love or hate Calipari, there’s no denying that tackling the job on the court becomes increasingly difficult when life off the court isn’t going well, but Calipari didn’t miss any of the preparations for this game. Not one practice. Not one film session. Not the shootaround. “I’ve been with him for 14 years, and he’s never missed a practice,” Robic

said. “It just shows the commitment that he has to his family in Charlotte but the commitment he has to this family in the locker room.” At halftime, the locker rooms were polar opposites of each other. UK freshman guard Doron Lamb said he and his teammates heard the Terriers celebrating like they were up 20 and knew that rebounding from first-half adversity was a must. After the week Calipari had, the players knew if he could maintain composure, they could too. “We huddled right before we came out and I say we just pretty much put it on ourselves to come and try to play harder for (Calipari),” freshman forward Terrence Jones said. The players responded, outscoring Boston 51-24 in the second half. And that is why facing adversity off the court is so much more amazing than adversity on the court sometimes.

Being proud of statistics was something senior center Josh Harrellson agreed with. He managed a double-double by scoring 12 points and grabbing 11 rebounds, but there was something else that made the game unusual for him. “Today was the first time I have ever tried to take a charge,” Harrellson said. The game was also marked by the UK player’s tribute to head coach John Calipari’s mother, who passed away Sunday.

UK’s players wore black socks, and some donned black armbands to honor Calipari’s mother, Donna Calipari. The idea originated from the players, and Calipari called his dad after the game to tell him about the players’ gesture, Robic said. “He thanked us after the game,” Harrellson said. “It meant a lot to him, we’re just happy to be there for him and show him we love and support him.”

have a variety of ways to make that happen. Leo (July 23-Aug. 22) Today is a 6 Financial questions cause you to question a basic premise. Can you afford the renovations you'd planned? It's more attainable if you break it into manageable stages. Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Today is a 6 Concentrate your energy on practical, creative ways to solve a household issue. Family members may disagree at first but respond to the logic. Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22) Today is a 9 Your practical thinking makes life run smoothly now. Challenges at work become opportunities when viewed anew. Personal responsibilities benefit from logic. Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21) Today is a 6 Take time for personal attire and appearance today. Visit your neighborhood salon and try something new and different. Take a calculated

risk. Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Today is a 9 From the perspective of another, you see a way to re-think their problem. You'll need to slow down to accommodate the situation. Create a game plan early. Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Today is a 7 A new person on the scene asks key questions. To answer them, think about it well. Take time to consider creative options. Then present choices to the team. Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18) Today is a 7 You're on familiar ground with group activities now. Consider the needs of individuals and coworkers as you challenge old concepts. You'll know just what to say. Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20) Today is a 6 Changes depend on advice received from an older person with a sterling creative track record. Use what you need now and store the rest for future reference. MCT

Yesterday’s Answer


Wednesday, December 1, 2010 | PAGE 3

opinions LETTER TO THE EDITOR Today, in total, there are more than 1,400 international students on our campus. The number for international student enrollment that was given in a Kernel article on Wednesday, Nov. 17, and again on Monday, Nov. 22, was misleading. Both pieces indicated that there are currently 358 international students enrolled at UK. In fact, that number reflects only undergraduate students. International student enrollment at UK is higher than it has been in eight years, and numerous other international initiatives are growing by leaps and bounds, as well. For instance, the international studies major in the College of Arts and Sciences has been overwhelmingly successful among UK undergraduates, with 361 majors and 25 minors in only its fourth year on campus. The Global Dynamics piece of UK's new General Education program will ultimately touch every undergraduate at UK, with a course solely devoted to global citizenship. And Education Abroad at UK projects an increase of more than 20 percent in applications next semester, as compared to last spring, and expects many more students to study abroad next summer than in previous years.

International student enrollment at UK is higher than it has been in eight years, and numerous other international initiatives are growing leaps and bounds, as well. This summer, UK was chosen as one of five U.S. schools to update the structure and curriculum of higher education in Iraq through the Iraq University Linkages Program. UK is involved in the Iraq Education Initiative as well, which will send several thousand students per year over the next five years to the U.S., the United Kingdom, Canada and Australia to complete their higher education studies. UK’s first Iraqi students arrived in August. These partnerships both demonstrate UK’s global profile and enhance our oncampus international conversations. Most recently, UK joined universities from around the nation and the world to host a Confucius Institute, which will provide central Kentuckians, as well as UK students, faculty and staff, the opportunity for a greater understanding of China through community classes, teacher preparation courses and events and services for the public. Many faculty, staff and students at UK are working continually to broaden opportunities for increased participation and connectivity around the world. For more examples of the many ways we See Blue globally, visit www.uky.edu/intlaffairs or simply search the word “international” on the UK homepage.

Susan Carvalho Associate Provost for International Programs

LETTER TO THE EDITOR In response to Nov. 29 column by Cassidy Herrington. What are the “threats” to public opinion and foreign policy? That they might change in response to the truth? And when is it ever not against the will of government to be accountable and transparent? The Pentagram is not concerned with the release of tactical secrets, but rather with public relations. WikiLeaks endangers only the war itself, and all the juicy contracts and promotions it enables. Remember the military's frantic efforts to suppress the photos of Abu Ghraib prisoners lying in pools of blood while grinning U.S. soldiers pose with them? These photos were of no tactical importance, but they threatened to arouse the Pentagram's worst enemy: the public. Remember when President George W. Bush forbade photography of soldiers' coffins? He said this was to protect the privacy of the dead. These photos were entirely anonymous and, of course, contained no military information, but they would have made the public think bad things about the war. Can't have that. In the past decade, the military has achieved its wet dream: the separation of its wars of aggression from the critical eye of the US population, which bears both the tax

and moral burdens of supporting these merchants of death. The Pentagram's wailing against WikiLeaks is not driven by fear of technical data that might get US soldiers killed, but by the revelation of very ugly things the U.S. empire does to people around the world. The footage of soldiers in a U.S. helicopter having a good ole time mindlessly mowing down city street pedestrians revealed no military secrets, but it showed the world the sadistic butchers that those soldiers were. This was bad PR for the military and for the war. Secretary of Offense Robert Gates has called the publication of a wounded and dying U.S. soldier “irresponsible.” How? Does the Taliban get useful pointers from the sight of gushing red American meat? No, but middle America might look at it and think twice about the war. WikiLeaks has released records of U.S. killing of civilians in Iraq and Afghanistan that dwarf the figures published in the New York Times and other official organs of state-approved journalism. The military-industrial complex is worried not that sensitive information will fall into the wrong hands, but rather that a slumbering public will awaken against the war. Support and defend WikiLeaks. Peace and civilization depend on it.

Levi Lampe Biochemistry graduate student

Please give (and you shall receive) I love Salvation Army workers. You’ve probably noticed every year around this time, bell ringers stand outside grocery stores everywhere, collecting donations for the Salvation Army charity during the holiday season. A couple of weekends ago when I stopped at the grocery store, I had the genuine pleasure of running in to one of those bell ringers who put a smile on my face. He was singing “Jingle Bells” at the top of his lungs, dancing around and carrying on. People couldn’t help but be graSHANNON cious for his presence, and dozens were FRAZER crowding around his little red kettle to doKernel nate. columnist According to the organization’s website, the Salvation Army has a long history of giving, starting with its founding in London in 1852 by William Booth and his wife as a way to reach the people in society who were among the “lost multitudes of England.” In 1878, Booth called these people his “volunteer army,” which was then changed to the Salvation Army. Today, Salvation Army soldiers serve across the U.S. and in several other countries, tending to the needs of less fortunate people. While one bell ringer standing outside in the cold doesn’t exactly coincide with my idea of an army, that’s not the point. Why does an especially outgoing worker have to prompt us to give our money to worthwhile causes? Better

yet, why do we choose to be charitable only during the holidays? More people need to be like the Booths. Rather than waiting for those in need to express their struggles, the Booths were proactive in providing resources. Today, we turn our heads and avoid eye contact with bell ringers (and probably more often than we’d like to admit). Or we might toss some change into the bucket, thinking it won’t make a difference to us either way. What’s ironic is these same head-turners and changetossers were probably among the first in line during the Black Friday madness to buy this year’s “it” item and who will probably spend more on family, friends and co-workers in the month of December than some of those less fortunate will see in a year. We need to be our own bell ringers. We shouldn’t wait for December to roll around to open up our wallets. Even if you’re a poor college student like me, consider the difference you’re making by investing in the less fortunate. The Salvation Army is one of the more widely recognized charities, but countless others are in need of donations this year, every year and during all times of the year. Give money, volunteer time or do something else to show you care. You’ll be helping out others, like the dancing and singing worker I saw in the parking lot. You’d be surprised just how far a little generosity can go. Shannon Frazer is a journalism senior. E-mail opinions@kykernel.com.

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For Sale Tickets: KY vs TN, 4 tickets and (use of) Houseboat across from Stadium. Call (865) 202-5001 or (865) 384-8511 Curves fitness for women off Clays Mill needs owner. Loyal membership, easy to run. Email: nighbeaw@yahoo.com Supplementcave.com. Discover the widest selection of supplements at the lowest prices

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House for Rent: Catskill Court, (15 min. from campus). 3BR/1BA, completely renovated. Fenced. No smoking, no pets. $725/mo. 859-489-1593

Ramsey’s Diner now hiring servers. Apply at any and all locations M-F between 2:00-5:00pm. TONY ROMA’S now hiring servers and hosts. Apply in person Monday through Thursday between 2-4. 161 Lexington Green Circle. 859-272-7526.

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3BR/2BA Condo, Renovated throughout, Hardwood in Main Living area. W/D. First level, close to campus, restaurants. Resident/visitor parking. $400 per room, 1081 S. Broadway, 940-206-0135 Alumni/Man O’War 3BR/1BA, New Carpet-KitchenRoof-Windows-HVAC. Fenced. No pets/smoking. $750/mo. 859-489-1593

4 or 3BR/2BA Renovated Home by campus, 1105 Crescent, All electric, all appliances. Spring Lease, $300 per person. 859-229-4991

Beautiful Tates Creek Duplex, 3BR/2BA, Garage, All electric, $895/mo. 263-3740

Need person to Sub-Lease Apartment at 524 Angliana. $499/mo. Sub-lease before 1st of month and get ½ off that month’s rent. 270-604-1405

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NEW and Nearly NEW 4BR HOMES – Only 2 left, very nice. Close to campus. View at lexingtonhomeconsultants.com. Showing daily. Call James McKee, Builder/Broker 859-221-7082 5 Bedroom 5BR House off Alumni, Large fenced yard, W/D. Call 502-494-4598

Part-time PM Kennel. Apply in person Richmond Road Veterinary Clinic, 3270 Richmond Road, 859263-5037

SITTER NEEDED for 2 elementary girls in home near campus. Education major preferred. 3-6pm MTWF. Lora.brown@insightbb.com with references please.

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REDUCED! 323 Old Virginia Avenue, No Pets, Street Parking, References. Duplex, 1.5BR $325/mo., 2.5BR $375/mo., $400 Deposit, Year Lease. 277-6900 RENT REDUCED - 2, 3, or 6 Bedroom Apts Available. Central Heating and Air. Off Street Parking. Walk to UK. 859.338.7005. 2,3&4BR Townhomes, close to shopping, school & library. Would provide all lawn care. Floor plans are available on website, www.bgfinehomes.com. Call Marion at 621-7894 9BR House, 3BA, off Rose St. 5800 sq ft, $1600/mo + utilities, 859-948-5000 Parking Parking Spaces Available, $295/Semester, 423

Help Needed: Specialty Food & Kitchenware Shop. Position A: Person with sales and merchandising skills for Kitchen & Giftware Department. Position B: Person for Deli and Specialty Food Counter. Pick up applications at counter. The Mouse Trapp, 3323 Tates Creek Road, Lansdowne Shoppes, 269-2958 Lexington Country Club Now hiring seasonal holiday cooks. Experience necessary. Flexible schedule. Competitive wages. Call Chef Michael 340-2065. UK Equine Initiative is seeking a paid equine communications student intern to help with editorial, public relations and marketing communications tasks for UK’s equine programs. Must have strong writing and verbal communication skills. AP style writing and familiarity with Adobe graphics software a plus. Please submit resume, cover letter and writing samples to holly.wiemers@uky.edu by December 1. For more info, go to www.ca.uky.edu/equine. Body Structure Medical Fitness Facility is currently seeking a Front Office Receptionist. Apply in person. Bartenders Needed, FT/PT available. No experience required. Will train. Earn up to $250 per shift. Call 877-405-1078 - ext.-1701

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LOOKING FOR M & F Social drinkers 21-35 years of age with or without ADHD. Researchers at the University of Kentucky are conducting studies concerning the effects of alcohol. Volunteers paid to participate. Please call 257-5794

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Personals

FOUND- TI-84 plus calculator in room CB 207. Contact the Math department, 257-6802, to claim.

Travel

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PAGE 4 | WEDNESDAY, December 1, 2010

A lecture on law and love By Taylor Spaw news@kykernel.com

A Harvard history professor is coming to campus to discuss the effects of public government on something private: love. The Gender and Women’s studies department will kick off its 2010-2011 speaker series with “Marriage on Trial” at the Singletary Center on Thursday . The presentation is co-sponsored by the College of Arts and Sciences, and the history and anthropology departments and will be free and open to the public. At 4 p.m. on Thursday, Nancy Cott will speak about the some of the legal aspects of same sex marriage raised by the California Case, Proposition 8. Cott gave testimony during the Proposition

8 trials. She is best known, however, as “a pioneer in the field of U.S. women’s history,” according to Patricia Cooper, chair and associate professer in the UK’s gender women’s studies department. Cott’s books, “The Bonds of Womanhood” and “The Groundling” are also well known in the field. She was asked to speak during the trial because of her book “Public Vows: A History of Marriage in the Nation.” In her book, Cott analyzed the evidence supporting the government’s regulation of marriage for specific gain. This will be the main focus of “Marriage on Trial.” “To me it is very special to have her (Cott) here at UK,” Cooper said. “She is a founding mother of U.S.

women’s history, and she is also a great mentor to several generations of women historians and historians of women.” Cooper said Cott’s lecture is part of what will be a series of lectures for the department called “States of Love.” “We are collectively thinking about how the state, i.e. the government, intervenes in the seemingly private world of love,” Cooper says.

If you go What: Marriage on Trial lecture When: Thursday at 4 p.m. Where: Singletary Center for the Arts Admission: Free and open to the public

A Canuck on French Canadians Bonjour! That’s what I would say to you if I wanted to greet you in Quebec, the Frenchspeaking province of Canada. Don’t worry, not I’m French Canadian, so I’ll NICK settle for a CRADDOCK “hello.” Kernel A comcolumnist mon misconception is that because Canada is a bilingual country—English and French are the official languages—many Canadians are also bilingual. False. Although I am not fluent in French, I’m not completely ignorant when it comes to communicating: Hors d’oeuvre, anyone? Even if I was full-blown French Canadian, that moniker doesn’t carry the same suaveness of a France native. You know, that of an actual French person. Quebec is diet France, much like Buffalo, N.Y., is diet Canada. They’re almost like the real deal, but fall short in

too many ways. Canadian French A doesn’t enjoy self-loathing or accept mime as a valuable form of expression quite like the Parisian does. For a French Canadian, mime is on par with juggling and LOL cats in terms of entertainment value. And instead of perfecting mime like any self-respecting Frenchman would, French Canadians decided to start Cirque de Soleil, an avant-garde circus act where the acrobats have sacrificed everything for the honor of wearing the glowin-the-dark leotard and having maximum bendiness in their bodies. Perhaps it’s for this reason that some extremist French Canadians want to separate from the rest of Canada. The idea is so silly I give them a ohstereotypical hoh-hoh-hoh Parisian laugh as I tilt my beret, take a drag of my cigarette and sip my sauvignon blanc. I think the French Canadians are bluffing about leaving anyway. They continue to use too many anglicized words (for example, a “party” in Montreal is still called a “party,” whereas in Paris, a “party”

would be a “boum”). Pick a side, Quebecers. Nevermind the rift that exists between French Canadians and English Canadians. My brother is a Quebec native and we have occasional disagreements, much like French Canada and the rest of Canada do, but at the end of the day we still love each other. In melting pot countries, such as Canada and the U.S., you can’t hate someone for being quirky. You have to embrace the fact that in one province of your country cheese curds and gravy on fries made perfect sense. After all, without French Canadians we wouldn’t have the musical talents of Celine Dion. Also consider that it is sadly because of French Canadians that we have to endure the musical talents of Celine Dion. It’s these love-hate paradoxes that evoke a slight je ne sais quoi when thinking about French Canada.

Memoirs of a Canuck


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