DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AWARENESS You Can Be Victorious As a survivor of domestic violence, I am here to tell you that you too can escape and have your life restored. Let me give you a bit of a history lesson on the subject matter. During the 1970’s when I was coming up, it was not uncommon for some men to beat women anytime and anywhere they felt like it. Some’s actions were likened to that of a slave master and a slave…considering women as property. If there were laws that protected the victims they were not strictly enforced. In my early teens I met someone who was physically abusive. Having low self-esteem due to things that had taken place earlier in my life, I felt I was sometimes deserving of the physical abuse. Can you imagine that? Someone thinking or feeling that their actions warranted someone’s placing their hands on them…utterly ridiculous…right? I was not alone. I knew many others who endured the same type of violent physical abuse. I personally experienced witnessing someone being physically abused and no actions taken by the law. I, along with this other person, would often have black eyes, swollen lips, and was used as a punching bag whenever we did things that were not pleasing to the abuser. Never once did a police officer show up and arrest the violators. Never once did anyone intervene and try to stop the abusers. It was the norm. Looking for love in all the wrong places often leads young women and men to gravitate towards abusers. After all, they say they love you. They shower you with gifts. They are immediately apologetic after each incident…and then the cycle repeats itself over and over again. I can only imagine the confusion many young men began to experience when they later emulated the acts they had seen and were subsequently arrested for such acts. I’m sure they thought to themselves, “Something is wrong with this because this is what I witnessed firsthand growing up and no actions were taken, no arrests were made.” The laws later began to be strictly enforced. I imagine young ladies growing up watching their mother’s being physically abused and believing this was how life was supposed to be. I’m reminded of a scene from Bishop T. D. Jakes movie, Woman Thou Art Loosed starring Kimberly Elise. In this movie, Kimberly’s character shot and killed her step-father and was sentenced to death. This was not for domestic violence but rather molestation, but the thing that stood out the most with me was when her mother, played by Loretta Devine said…”It happened to me”. The cycle continued until one person said by their actions this is not right and I won’t tolerate it. Though drastic measures were taken, I
can only guess if a sequel was made, there would be less or no abuse endured by subsequent family members. Her actions showing it WAS NOT OKAY possibly broke the cycle of dysfunctional behavior as it related to molestation. Later in life, I came to the realization that I DID NOT deserve to be abused and took a drastic step that stopped the abuse dead in its track. No one deserves to be physically abused…no one! You are not to blame. You are better than that. You are valuable regardless of what your past experiences may have been. You can leave the abuser and live life. You owe yourself this as with your family members and loved ones. You ARE NOT someone’s punching bag! For the sake of this article, I write mostly to the women. For any though that are going through this now, seek out help. Report the abuse to someone. Do not be silent about what is happening to you. Contact law enforcement; seek out shelters for battered and abused women. Please know the abuse doesn’t just affect you and the life you save may be your own. Think about the effects your continuing to endure the physical abuse has on your children, parents, friends, loved ones. The only one who can make that first step to escape it is you. Don’t become a statistic. You deserve to live a life filled with love, real love. Learn to love yourself in a real way and you will not tolerate abuse in any form from anyone. In honor of Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I salute those that are aiding those who are or were victims of this, and applaud the men and women who came to the realization that they deserve more. You ARE NOT a victim; You ARE and CAN BE victorious!
Regina G. Mixon www.reginamixonenterprises.org
The Fun Zone By Quanda R. Graves In this day and age, it’s not too many places we can’t find or that we don’t know about when it comes to fun. However, we’re not always in the know because of our job and just life itself but we try to do the best we can with what we have in such little time and/or do to circumstance. So in honor of life’s craziness we at LA Black Parent Magazine, put together a list for your children enjoyment. May your children benefit from this list and may it ignite your inner child as well.
The Fun Zone List:
The El Capitan Theatre https://elcapitantheatre.com
The Kidspace Children’s Museum http://www.kidspacemuseum.org
Build a Bear http://www.buildabear.com
Griffith Park Fun http://griffithparkponyride.com/Griffith_park_fun.html
Seascape for Kids http://www.seascapekidsfun.com/
Long Beach Aquarium http://www.aquariumofpacific.org/visit/adults/adultsggl
Golf-n-Stuff http://golfnstuff.com/norwalk/info.html Pirates of Adventure http://www.piratesdinneradventure.com
Medievaltimes http://www.medievaltimes.com
This is just a short list with more to come stay tune for our next list “Fun Zone List�. Thanks for reading LA Black Parent Magazine.
Quanda R. Graves
A Poignant Story of A Breast Cancer Survivor This could not be happening; I thought, but as if she could read my mind, the doctor repeated herself, the diagnosis: Breast Cancer!
My body seemed to slide into a dark abyss but I knew that wasn't the case, because I was still sitting in this chair trying to absorb this life changing moment, as my mind screamed but my voice was silent.
I finally looked at my two best friends who had accompanied me for this appointment, and I saw the tears forming in their eyes. I knew then that it was true, the lump that I had discovered only a few days ago, was cancer! I tried to hold myself together, as I began to gather my things to leave I kept telling them that I was okay all the way to the car. Upon reaching the car, they grabbed me in a hug and my emotions got the best of me. I lost it! Right there in the parking lot of LSU Hospital. My soul began weeping and I could not stop the tears that were flooding my face. I cried for three days, from a dark place where I could not seem to find light. I looked at my children ages 11 and 7 as I cried, Lord, I don't want to be sick! I can't do this, I cried! Why me?! How will my children react to me as I go through treatment? God, it's CANCER!!! I can't leave my children! Lord, I'm only 37 years old. Help me God. Heal me God!! I want to live, I want to live!!!
Stay tuned, for my story of triumph of surviving breast cancer, coming soon, from my book, “To God, Be The Glory."
Pamela resides in Bossier City, Louisiana. This phenomenal woman of God is the mother of 2 children, Jessica Carter, 28 and Brandon Johnson, 24 and attends Word of Faith C. O. G. I. C. serving as a faithful member.