Monopoly is a boring board game

MONOTONOUS MONOPOLY

Hasbro’s Monopoly is a boring and outdated game

KANISHK SHANMUGAM

opinions staff

There are many things I despise in life, but almost nothing will ever come close to my hate for Hasbro’s Monopoly. It’s boring and generally objectiveless.

If you’re lucky enough to not know what Monopoly is, allow me to explain: Monopoly is a real estate simulator board game where players are given a set amount of money at the beginning of the game and then roll dice to move around the board, with squares that can send the player to jail, allow the player to pick up special cards that can make or lose you money, let you out of jail, order you to pay taxes or just land you on properties which they can buy. However, purchased properties allow the owner to charge anyone that moves onto the tile. As you buy more properties, the fine other players have to pay increases. The game ends when everyone is bankrupt and only one player remains.

Rest assured, my explanation makes the game sound more fun than it is. The actual game subsists of repetitively moving pieces to the next tile, and the next, until no one can take it anymore. Waiting for everyone in the game to legitimately finish proves a dull and near-impossible experience, as the game’s mundane mechanics fuel a drowsiness that couldn’t be replicated by a Nickelback concert. Phones are pulled out within minutes of setting up the board and players’ enthusiasm rapidly deteriorates. Their reaction is completely appropriate, Monopoly takes ages to finish, and even after all property tiles are bought, the game can still proceed for a lengthy amount of time with features like the GO square which automatically grants players 200 dollars, which is often ample for staying alive.

This tedium is also furthered by diverse house rules that people insist on playing with. Some common ones include having all money owed to the bank set on the free parking square and allowing anyone who lands on it to keep the cash and not auctioning off properties after a player lands on one they don’t want to purchase. Some avid Monopoly fans may argue that these unique rules make Monopoly a distinct classic in every household, but really, they just make a long board game stretch longer.

My final irk is that this “classic” has long lost its purpose. This once-interesting board game was originally created by Elizabeth Magie to show the evils of monopolies. Ironically, the games is now owned by Hasbro, a gargantuan multimedia company with its hands in all facets of entertainment. With its original purpose struck out, Monopoly has no fascinating aspect to it. What remains is one of the most unexciting and drab games in entertainment history. So let’s stop pretending and drop Monopoly once and for all. p

BETTER BOARD GAMES

Recommendations for board games more fun than Monopoly

illustration by | ERICA SHI & NICO SKAPOF

SORRY CATAN CHESS

While it’s largely luck dependent like Monopoly, Sorry’s short length and choatic gameplay makes it great for casual play. This perfect party game, can be played with up to four players at a time

Catan is lengthy, with games lasting hours. However, its game play is engaging, while still being simple enough to entertain any group of players willing to give it a try. You can play with up to four players Although it’s not that great for parties, chess is a classic strategy game that’s complex and deep. It’s perfect for anyone willing to take the time to learn the game. Only two people can play chess at a time.