Pause, Unpause
My on-and-off relationship with music
IEL
LE Z
HA
NG
do not enjoy the chasing game or the “faking dumbness” ploy. Playing hard-to-get or putting on an act is a turnoff for me. K-pop eventually overwhelmed me with her sheer brilliance and nonstop change. I wore myself out trying to keep up with that ball of pure ambition. Now, does this column seem like a music rant while creepily associating genres as relationships to pity my IRL single status? Nay, conceited I am not. I indulge in a little of everything because I love music more deeply than some others, but this general love prevents me from staying in one place too long— hence, this on-and-off relationship. Whether it be searching for a certain genre or a certain someone, your past interactions define your future meetings. When I scroll through my playlist, I see songs that I’ve kept since elementary school from all the genres I’d explored. They are lasting memories and encounters that have positively shaped my character today, and as I add more to the catalog, I come closer to finding “the one” — music or person — for me. Is it selfish? Probably. Futile? Maybe. Heartfelt? Absolutely; all in the name of love.
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have met and broken up with all kinds of music … a lot. I am a playa’ in every sense of the word, including the piano, and it has really burned me out. I do not try to be a playa’. In fact, I sometimes wish to be like those who have committed to a genre, being bound at the hip, a red, aural string tying them together. Alas, I am not like that, for almost each month I dump genres like one would broken vinyls into a trash bin. The following genres are but a few in my jar of hearts. My first serious relationship began at the end of fifth grade: western pop. Young, wild & free. I thought, with my naïve rationale, that she, young, wild & free, was “the one.” I was thankfully still young when I made this mistake. At first, it was fine. We knew each other growing up, so I thought our relationship would be awesome. But, western pop quickly became too wild for me. It became all “party track” this and “mumble rapper” that. Also, I simply couldn’t take the constant need to be up-to-date and relevant. Turns out, I didn’t care about what was popular, yet she
repeatedly tried to trap me with the hi-hats and Chainsmoker clones. Needless to say, we fell off quickly. My following two relationships were J-pop and K-pop. No, I was not two-timing. Nevertheless, they did each share some commonalities. Both were breaths of fresh air after western pop music. They were bright and welcoming, and they both globalized my views at the end of things. J-pop had a deceptively pure and clueless appearance. Once we began interacting, I gradually discovered her depth. Similarly, K-pop is misunderstood as the one who copies whatever western pop does just to be popular. Yet, K-pop integrates these trends into her own character, creating an independent and ambitious identity that is more than the sum of her parts. Despite the language barrier, I became very close with these two during our time together. We all know, though, the end to this tale of love, lies and lyricisms. My problem with J-pop was her inability to fully open up. She pushed me away with her happy-golucky façade, believing that people only like to see that one trait. For the sake of brevity, let’s just say I
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ALEXANDER FU
LADUEPUBLICATIONS.COM
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