scales of success

Different types of success and coping with expectations

by:

staff

Success stories are frequently present in the media, inspiring people to become the next star of the show. What isn’t always shown is the countless hours of hard work, innumerable sleepless nights and immense amounts of dedication that go into every success story.

The measure of success is nothing concrete. In fact, it is a complete opinion. It can be a mechanism of comparison, a personal goal or a representation of something ideal.

What is certain is that success isn’t linear. On the path to success, there are always obstacles that appear impossible to overcome, but once a person can conquer them, they are able to achieve their goals. These obstacles provide opportunities for personal growth and development.

Despite the positive side of success, there are times when the weight of expectations can be too much to bear. Nobody is

How do you define success?

always successful, but there is still pressure, whether internal or external, to succeed in every moment. High schoolers have to push through this burden every day, whether it’s in academics, athletics or extracurriculars. The looming pressure to achieve success can lift people up or rip them apart.

As school ends and college decisions are made, students must consider what it takes to

66% of Ladue students believe that they're successful

60% of Ladue students state that academic success is the most important to them

What kind of success is most important to you?

90% of Ladue students feel externally pressured to be successful

Academic Other Artistic Sports

succeed. Does success mean a straight-A report card? A 4.0 GPA? An acceptance into an Ivy League college? As college looms around the corner, the ever-growing crisis presents itself. Students scramble to find ways to distinguish themselves and their academic success on a piece of paper.

Does the A+ on a report card account for the sleepless nights, countless last-minute study sessions or staying home on a Saturday night to ensure a good grade? Whether directly or not, there is always an unabating pressure to achieve absolute perfection. This constant pressure to achieve greatness in school, home and society can be crushing.

High-achieving high schools have a vested interest in preserving an achievement contest among the student body. For senior Saba Fajors, going to a high-achieving school felt inevitable.

“I put in a lot of effort into my grades and extracurriculars that I felt like the outcome I deserve would be a top university,” Fajors said. “I like the competitive environment, and the schools that I applied to have a good balance of work hard, play hard.”

Your sense of success is greatly influenced by the people with whom you surround yourself. In fact, they mold it. Whether it be trying to measure up to your older sibling’s accomplishments or making your parents proud, success can, at times, feel insurmountable.

“I feel like I owe my parents my full effort because they do so much to support me and make sure that I achieve my dreams,” Fajors said. “I also felt pressure from them because of the way that they talked about my brother and the way they treat him."

However, things don't always work out. When students are rejected, people often presume that some are meant for greatness and others are doomed to fail. It is important to change our society’s stigma around rejection and recognize that disappointment can be a motivator.

“It's okay to be disappointed and it's okay to accept that disappointment. You can use it to fuel you into doing a better job next time and preparing yourself for a better outcome,” Fajors said. “When I come short of my goals, I know there are always times where I could have done better and taken the time to focus on that more.”

In life, options are given to you at every turn. High-performing

90% of Ladue students feel internally pressured to be successful students frequently have to make a decision between their social life and academic career. For Fajors, it is worthwhile to go above and beyond to sacrifice time and even work-life balance.

“You have to prioritize certain things at the end of the day,” Fajors said. “Do you want to go out and party and have fun with your friends, or do you want to get the work done that you need to get done? If you want to be great, sometimes you're gonna have to prioritize the work over the fun.”

In an environment of competitive institutions, ambitious students must outdo one another for a small number of highly desired positions. Unfortunately, activities that were once purely for enjoyment can turn into a means to an end. To avoid this, we must be mindful of the things we prioritize and devote our daily time and effort to.

“For a while, I struggled to find something that I would love to study in college and something that would drive me and that I knew I could be great in,” Fajors said. “Recently I've just come to realize that I need to pursue the things that make me happy and the things that excite me. I think that everyone should do that.”

Athletics

In addition to academic success, athletic success is a major motivator for high school students. Freshman Angela Chen has been playing tennis since she was 8 and a half years old and was on the varsity tennis team as a freshman. Chen feels that she has been success ful.

“[Success is] to reach what you want and set ting certain goals you, goals that are hard to reach, and then achieving them and then making more goals in the future,” Chen said. “And then when you complete all those goals, and you’re ready to make more harder goals, I feel like that’s success.”

Success is achieved through multiple factors that look different for everyone. Hard work can only get someone so far. A proper support system and healthy habits are essential on the journey to athletic success.

“The amount of times I’ve played [tennis] a week and the amount of lessons that I took [led to my success],” Chen said. “My friends helped me keep going and when I saw the worst they would help me see the better.”

People strive for success for a variety of reasons. Many people seek it because of the positive outcomes that it produces, such as an increase in happiness and self-esteem.

“My confidence definitely went up [once I started winning]. When you have the confidence to win you are more likely to win and it builds you up,” Chen said.

Regardless of the positive impacts of success, reaching success comes with unintend- ed consequences. It can lead to pressure to constantly be successful and it can make losses hurt much more.

“[When I lose], I reflect on how I played that day and why I lost so that I just don’t make the same mistakes over and over again,” Chen said. “Then I play more so that I can work on those things that I didn’t do well.” Finding a balance between working towards athletic success, staying on top of schoolwork and maintaining a social circle can be difficult. Sometimes friendships and assignments are put on the back burner in order to reach athlet-

“The biggest thing [I’ve lost] is my personal time, time for myself to relax or cool down,” Chen said. “But tennis usually helps me because it relieves my stress.”

Working towards an athletic goal is never easy. There are countless ups and downs, but hard work and dedication often pay off.

“Even if you hate something right now, if you keep doing it and start to want something out of that sport or hobby or interest, then you’ll definitely gain more motivation to be better,” Chen said.

Extracurriculars

Many people strive for success outside of academics and athletics. Sophomore Eric Fan was a debate state champion. He has learned to balance working towards his goals and taking care of his mental health.

“I feel like I’ve been successful, both [in] competitiveness and emotionally,” Fan said. “It was really important for me to balance that workload with doing other activities. I’d say the biggest thing in becoming successful is to be mentally and emotionally healthy.”

Sometimes goals can be far away and working towards them can seem daunting. Despite this challenge, success doesn’t necessarily mean that every goal was met.

“In my opinion, success is achieving happiness,” Fan said. “It could be performing well or reaching a big goal, but it could also be just having a lot of fun. If you’re enjoying your time in an activity, you’ve reached success.”

There isn’t one strict path to success. Oftentimes, achieving goals comes with a lot of failure along the way. Working past those challenges is what unlocks the door to success.

“Coming into the varsity competition this year, I had high expectations for myself. However, after losing a lot, I learned that this mindset really weighed me down and hurt my mental health,” Fan said. “Only after freeing myself from these expectations did I really improve and become successful.”

Once a person works past the internal and external pressure to succeed, they can finally focus on achieving their goals, but it can be difficult to find balance between success and everything else.

“Overworking yourself might lead to short term improvement; but long term you’ll be burned out and more likely to quit. Maintaining a sustainable approach to any activity you do is key to success,” Fan said.