TEENS ALOUD

teens aloud! Yo ur Teen , Translate d

I’m fine.

The Universe Has Spoken. It Wants Us to Start Listening.

When you’re in the entertainment business, you go to events and hobnob. It’s part of the deal. But when your division of the entertainment world is literary—and especially when you write young adult lit—the hobnobbing is different. Instead of red carpets and competition over “who wore it best,” we in the YA (young adult) world go to events to meet our comrades; to join forces in pursuit of our common goal: supporting teenagers as they wallow through the gunk that is adolescence.

When the events wrap and we go our separate ways many of us stay in touch, sharing our works in progress. Our fan mail. Our most recent initiative. This week a few of these pieces, shared with me by my YA compatriots, hit me like anvils. If the whole “message from the universe” thing is real, I got one loud and clear this week. And I don’t know about you, but when I get a message from the universe, I put it on blast. The first share came in the form of a twitter direct message from a New York Times-bestselling YA author with whom I’m friends. It was a picture of fan art given to her by a high school student, illustrating how much the girl had identified with my friend’s books. The art showed the stark-white silhouette of a girl surrounded by black. Block words were written over and over inside the silhouette: “HEL P ME . HEL P ME . HEL P ME .” A dialogue bubble extended from the silhouette’s mouth. In it were two words: “I’m fine.” The next day, a YA librarian who writes for Teen Librarian Toolbox sent me her most recent article. In it, I found a line that seemed to explain why this high school girl—like so many other high schoolers with whom I work—feel desperate inside but put on a rosy face. In describing how so many adults shift in their relationships with kids as they get older, my friend said this: “Many of us change from fans and cheerleaders when they’re little to overzealous advisers and nosey counselors as kids enter adolescence.” That’s not to say that the adviser and the counselor don’t have good intentions. But it is to say that advising and counseling might not be what teens need most. Perhaps what they need is an unrelenting fan. Or encouragement to try and fail. Or these unequivocally sincere lines from a grownup they trust: “I would love to hear what you’re thinking about these days. I want to hear it if it’s happy. I want to hear it if it’s sad. I want to hear, just, you.”

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That’s what the universe is telling me to tell you. And how wrong can the universe be?

Cyndy Etler is a board-certified teen life coach and awardwinning young adult memoir author. Her work has been featured on CNN, NPR, CBS’ The Doctors, Huffpost, Today’s Parent, and other international media. l k n e x p e r t