ALEX TRUESDALE

known as RÖSEBUD. I was born in a small town called Portadown in Northern Ireland. I am a 19-year-old makeup, brow, nail & drag artist! I currently live outside Liverpool pursuing my dream career. I was always artistic and had a creative flare in so many ways since a young age. I am enjoying painting and drawing pictures of my imagination. I was at my happiest in those moments. I was brought up watching the pantomime every single year in Belfast and I was so mesmerised by dame May McFetridge. That very moment the first time at the age of four seeing my first show sparked the talent in me! I remember so clearly saying to my dad “I want to be exactly like her” still to this day I want to be as successful as her! It takes moments like

those to give you a purpose in life and remind yourself why you work so hard!

At age eight I began singing lessons, acting in shows, and eventually, I then toured the country busking each week. I Did gigs at community events, live Facebook shows and studio singles & albums. I enjoyed singing it was my coping mechanism! I sang what I was feeling inside - the hurt and heartbreak I had been through as a child. I turned my negative thoughts and feelings into a positive. To this day I’ve learned that no matter the situation always find a solution! Everything happens for a reason and it’s up to you to overcome it and look towards the future. The past is in the past for a reason don’t bring it with you into the future.

At age 13 I began my makeup journey. My best friend always got me to ‘practice’ on her and surprisingly something that was a joke has now turned into my job. I remember getting my first set of real techniques brushes and thinking I was so cool. It was my escape from reality. I wore it on the stage and progressed to wearing it on ‘special occasions’ it went from thick eyebrows to unblended shadows. I got so much hate from doing it, but I used that as my motivation to get better. People tried to tear me down at this stage of my life. They saw how happy I was, doing what I loved and what I was best at, they became jealous. It got to me for years until I realised not everyone’s going to love you in life or what you do. As long as you are being your true authentic self then, why should it matter what everyone else thinks? They want to be as successful as you are, and they envy that. I’ve learned that people envy those who succeed and who find success in life, those who are pursuing their dreams.

Puberty knocked on my door at age 14 and knocked my confidence. Going through that change was so difficult, being able to sing one minute to not being able to sing. I performed in musical shows until I was 15 with MADS!

I then decided to focus on school as I was getting bad grades, so I had to prioritise hard school, but I was doing what was best for me. I went on to do my Level 3 Performing Arts which resulted in me getting a scholarship at Edge Hill University to do musical theatre! It was my dream! Something I wanted from eight years old. Until I realised that’s not the career that’s meant for me!

I didn’t always have a pleasant childhood, I was constantly picked on just because I was different. I could never really be myself, and when I did it got violent. I was continuously made fun of and told that everything I wanted to do in life was unrealistic. I believed my dad didn’t want a relationship with me, but that was far from the truth! Years of being told not to be feminine and flamboyant, years of having to hide who I was, and years of being mentally and physically abused finally ended when I was left at my father’s doorstep with a binbag of clothes.

Being put through such trauma had an impact on my mental and physical health. After being abandoned I lost weight from becoming bulimic and at just age 12 I was 4 stone 3. I was severely depressed to the point where I was screaming during my sleep. I sought help from professionals, but that didn’t help it only made it worse talking about the past. The only thing that helped me recover was having loved ones around me and moving on from the past.

For as long as I can remember, I knew I was different than most kids. I didn’t enjoy playing sports like other boys, instead, I enjoyed being creative with makeup and performing; and I always felt more comfortable around girls. As I got older, I started becoming more attracted to other boys. I tried to deny those feelings, thinking maybe it was just a phase and thinking deep down, this is wrong, this isn’t normal. Those feelings and attractions never disappeared and if anything, they just became stronger. I finally came to terms with my sexuality at the age of 15 after my school formal. I wore makeup for the first time publicly and gained a wall of confidence. This was such a ground-breaking moment for me as I was always petrified of what other thought of me.

Weeks after formal I found enough courage to tell close friends that I was gay. Before I knew it the whole school knew and I saw it as a blessing. I no longer had the bullies calling me gay, other than the odd few. They were all so supportive and proud of me for finally accepting who I was. Our friendships became stronger and more authentic than before. After coming out to friends I felt such a relief although, I was still hiding the biggest secret from my dad.

June 10th, 2018, at 9 pm. I had just finished watching ‘Love Simon’ and Alex Strangelove two gay coming out movies that inspired me to come out. I remember texting my friends telling them “This is it; I’m going to come out to my dad”. my heart was pounding out my chest as I crept slowly down the stairs. I remember vividly standing outside the living room door contemplating whether or not to enter. I finally grew the bravery to open the door. I told him there was something I needed to tell him. Opening up to my dad wasn’t difficult as we had such a strong relationship especially after everything I went through. I opened up to him and everything just felt natural. I had finally told my dad the secret I had been holding inside for so long. He opened his arms with love and told me “I already knew, a father knows his own son! You’ll always be my son and I will love you no matter who you are, what you are, and who you decide to love” hearing those words from your father is so precious and having someone like that in your life makes you appreciate the life that little bit more.

I consider myself to be extremely lucky to have such an accepting father, family, and friends who made my coming out process a positive one. I know many people who didn’t have such an easy time coming out, and I am grateful that mine was. Coming out is probably the hardest thing anyone could do. Coming to terms with your sexuality isn’t always easy especially in Northern Ireland. It is not easy being gay where I’m from. People have been brought up to know that being gay is wrong. I was known as the only gay boy in my area, I couldn’t even walk up the street without getting a homophobic slur shouted at me, and still to this day it happens. I used to retaliate and shout stuff back but all it did was made it worse. After coming out it was as if I was reborn into a new life.

Before coming out I started to watch RuPaul’s drag race as an escape from reality. Drag Race helped me discover who I really was and inspired me in so many ways. It taught me that anything’s possible as long as you are determined to make it happen. After coming out I decided to start drag. My dad began purchasing dresses and wigs for me. I remember prancing about the house in these dresses pretending I was on the drag race runway. I remember at that moment remembering my younger self doing the same thing in princess dresses.

Drag is my escape from reality, transforming into a character and being able to take it all off and still be Alex again. Being able to transform into someone other than Alex is pretty cool. I feel so confident, sexy, and untouchable. Being able to perform in drag is so electrifying being able to entertain people and spread awareness for LGBTQIA rights. I love doing what I do as it teaches kids like me that anything is possible. There’s not much of a drag scene in Northern Ireland and in fact, it is hard to even get the opportunity to perform especially over the past year during covid. I’m still growing as an artist but I’m no stranger to the stage. Performing is my world and I can’t wait to get more opportunities in the future.

My dad is my best friend someone I look up to as a role model. Someone who has guided me in the right direction to success. He taught me to love myself for who I am. He’s helped me become the man I am today. His childhood stories and lessons inspired me to be ambitious and achieve anything I put my mind to. He taught me life values and lessons and I honestly would not be where I am today

without him. My nanny and grandad are my biggest supporters. They’ve told me stories that I will cherish for a lifetime and taught me life lessons, so I prepared for the real world. Everything I do in my life is to make each one of them proud! Now I’m as successful as ever! A 19-year-old successful makeup & drag artist achieving and living the dreams he had at age four years old.

Don’t let anyone tell you that you can’t achieve anything. Don’t let anyone tell you anything is impossible or unrealistic. Be determined

FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, I KNEW I WAS DIFFERENT THAN MOST KIDS. I DIDN’T ENJOY PLAYING SPORTS LIKE OTHER BOYS, INSTEAD, I ENJOYED BEING CREATIVE WITH MAKEUP AND PERFORMING; AND I ALWAYS FELT MORE COMFORTABLE AROUND GIRLS. AS I GOT OLDER, I STARTED BECOMING MORE ATTRACTED TO OTHER BOYS. I TRIED TO DENY THOSE FEELINGS, THINKING MAYBE IT WAS JUST A PHASE AND THINKING DEEP DOWN, THIS IS WRONG, THIS ISN’T NORMAL. THOSE FEELINGS AND ATTRACTIONS NEVER DISAPPEARED AND IF ANYTHING, THEY JUST BECAME STRONGER.

and motivated by people’s opinions! Live every day like it’s your last. We are only here once and you don’t know when your last will be so wake up every day, appreciate life, and make everyday count. Live the life you want to and remember if you fail the first time it’s just another steppingstone to success!