ALEXIS

HOW OUT & ACTIVE NI HAS HELPED ME FEEL ANCHORED

“You’re very welcome here,” a man said to me at a checkout in a shop a few months after I moved to Northern Ireland. He noticed I didn’t have a native accent and asked where I was from. His friendly question led me to reflect on my journey to belonging. Since starting life as a French expat in the UK (after spending a few years in Wales, Scotland, and England before arriving in Northern Ireland), I’ve made friends at university, at work, and through my husband’s friends, but I never truly felt like I belonged anywhere.

When I moved to Northern Ireland in March 2020 (yes, during that time when everything shut down), I coincidentally decided to take the plunge and launch my career as a self-employed English-to-French translator, which meant working from home full-time. As I was aware of the need to break my isolation, I attempted to join several groups based on different interests but always feared not fitting in. For various reasons, those groups didn’t work for me. However, I can confidently say that the past few months with Out & Active NI have provided the sense of belonging I had been seeking.

Out & Active NI is exactly what I was looking for, and I’m fortunate to have been part of the adventure since day one. On October 1, 2024, while road-tripping across Canada and mid-order at a fast food chain, my friend Ryan Lee-Gribben (our chairperson) called me to pitch his idea for a sports and social group for LGBTQ+ people in Northern Ireland and asked me if I would agree to be part of it. I said yes straight away. The goal was to create a safe space where we could play games, enjoy sports, and meet new people outside of bars. I had no idea then that it would grow into a large and vibrant community with over 1,500 Instagram followers.

As someone with introverted tendencies, stepping out of my comfort zone to help run the group was daunting. But I’m so glad I did. I’ve experienced significant personal growth since our first bowling event in November. I still remember the burst of excitement and energy I felt as we left the bowling alley, realising it was the beginning of something special.

our members have been forgiving. There’s nothing like misnaming someone to ensure you remember their name next time!

What makes Out & Active NI so special is the variety of events we host. Sure, we’ve had a few hikes and dips already, but each event brings something new. The ever-changing lineup means we see fresh faces at every gathering. While we’re always excited when first timers become regulars, I also love the excitement of meeting new people each time.

Small talk has never been my forte, but I’m improving! It’s not something we typically do as much in France, at least not where I grew up. Connecting with our members has helped me feel more comfortable with it. And when there’s an opportunity for a deeper conversation, I’m in

Please note, this column is the opinion of the columinst and not that of GNI or Romeo & Julian Publiccations Ltd.

Fears and anxieties melt away when you’re surrounded by like-minded people eager to socialise. While I’ve always prided myself on having a good memory for names, my confidence has been tested as I’ve taken on the role of preparing name tags for events. There have been moments where I was 99% sure of someone’s name, only to find out I was wrong. Thankfully, my element. That’s precisely what I love about our group. There’s a time for the activity where we can all have fun (running through Belfast to complete challenges at various landmarks, playing board games in a café in Banbridge or playing minigolf) and then we can all socialise together over a nice cup whoever wants to stick around. In such a short time, I’ve made very good friends, and I hope to keep them for a long time.

Out & Active NI is, above all, a community group with a strong sense of friendship. Our success would not be possible without a committee that works exceptionally well together. Not only are we a great team, but we genuinely enjoy each other’s company. At our Doan hike, for instance, it was officially Conor’s event, but Ryan brought teas and coffees, Gary handled the legal forms, and Colm and I managed the name tags. That teamwork buzz is something I particularly like. Stepping out of my comfort zone has always been a personal mantra. It’s often the key to happiness. I’ll admit I wasn’t particularly excited about our rounders event—a grey and cold Sunday morning: “yay”. But not only am I glad I went, it turned out to be my favourite event so far. Playing games with friendly people made all the difference. It really doesn’t matter what you’re doing when the atmosphere is positive. I also love seeing others trying something new and unexpected. After our sea dip in Ballygally in March, someone who had never dipped before asked, “When’s the next one?” That’s always a great sign! There’s an overwhelming sense of pride when members leave an event I was in charge of and tell us how much they had fun.

One thing I’ve learned is that every event is an opportunity to build connections. I’ve made friends I would never have met otherwise. The diversity of our community brings so many perspectives and stories together. We all have a unique story, and yet we’re united by our desire to make friendships.

Looking ahead, I’m excited to see how Out & Active NI will continue to grow. I’d love to see us explore even more activities. The possibilities are endless. What I’m most hopeful for is that we keep inspiring people to push themselves and try something new. I know our group already means a lot to many people, and I cannot wait to see the difference we will have made in a few years’ time.

It’s still astonishing to think we held our first event just last November. It’s been a fun and busy journey. On a personal level, I’ve never felt more grounded. I’m incredibly lucky to have a husband who constantly encourages me to try new things. Out & Active NI has been exactly what I needed to find that sense of belonging. If, like me, you’re looking to find your community and you’re free on Sunday mornings at 11:00 AM (our usual day and time for events, though this may vary depending on the activity), I highly recommend giving it a go. Step outside your comfort zone, lace up your shoes, and arrive with an open mind! You won’t regret it, and you’ll thank yourself for trying something new. Everyone was a newcomer once, and we all understand what it’s like to feel a little nervous.

To see our upcoming events, check out our Instagram page (@outandactiveni) where you’ll find links to our Meetup page (Out & Active NI) for event signups and our WhatsApp group for practical information and friendly banter. By Alexis Montgomery-Bugel