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SINGLE LIFE, BUT FEELING NICE WE HAVE JUST BEEN THROUGH A WHOLE MASS OF HOLIDAYS - AND FOR MANY OF US, WE HAVE DONE IT ALONE.

NO KISSES UNDER THE MISTLETOE.

NO KISSES AT MIDNIGHT.

NO KISSES ON VALENTINES DAY.

You didn’t have anyone to take home, and everyone kept asking and asking about your love life – or lack thereof.

Depending on the person, you might not care one bit. You may think that the right person will come at the right time, or some other motivational quote that is uplifting and makes you feel completely comfortable on your own. For some people – the holidays can make you really feel the pinch.

During the holidays, we are bombarded with Romeos and Juliets on every single street corner, dinner party or social event we go to. The last few months have been a constant stream of engagements, announcements and sickly sweet Instagram posts about how amazing everyones relationships and lives are. It is a neverending reel of family photos, cute gifts and swanky couples getaways. Even if it was the first Christmas, New Years or Valentines they spent together, the caption definitely says ‘to many more with you’, and it can all get a little gross.

No, not gross, but it can sting for a lot of people. Seeing everyone you know and their dogs living out their own happy little lives, and you just simply aren’t. This brings up a whole host of feelings – depression, rejection, and somehow it seems to amplify every single one of your deepest, and non-deepest insecurities. Is it because your nose is too big? Are you too much, or not enough? Are you not good-looking enough, skinny enough, funny enough, smart enough? It is easy to spiral and blame yourself, to nitpick at everything that makes you who you are. You are perfect because you are you – but it doesn’t always feel that way. A lot of people also feel behind. Like everyone else is running this race of life seventeen steps ahead of you and you just cannot seem to catch up, no matter how much you train. It also seems like sometimes you are the only one training, but the ones ahead never trained. It just happened so unbelievably easily for them, so why not you?

ago. So you sit in, alone, watching what seems to be a regurgitation of rom-coms and sappy movies that make you even more glum than you already were. The lovelive and dating scene just seems very bleak and almost impossible.

However, there are many many reasons that being single is not so bad, and it some cases can be even better. Firstly, you don’t have to spend a ridiculous amount of money on the over-priced cheesy presents that only capitalism can come up with, or price-inflated dinners or getaways or anything else. It is actually far more financially savvy to just be single. You also get to be incredibly selfish with yourself, your choices and your time. Valentine day, you didn’t have to get waxed or get a new outfit, you got to just curl up on the sofa in your jammies – and not nice fancy cutebut-not-trying-to-hard jammies, the old tshirt that has holes and questionable stains but is just so incredibly comfortable. There is something so joyful about just being alone with nobody to please bar yourself. To that end, you also don’t have to argue about what to watch or compromise and watch some film that you know you are going to hate to placate someone else. You get to watch your favourite series for the millonth time, with your favourite snacks that you don’t have to share whilst nobody bothers you and steals the blanket. Just pure self-bliss. Additionally, you have so much time for just you. Those resolutions that you set a few months ago? You have so much more time and energy to complete them, because your efforts are not put into someone else.

Remember, you do not need to be in a romantic relationship to have worth, that’s just an annoying thing that society tries to project. If all of the above still does not appeal to you, or make you feel any better about going through the darkest seasons all on your tod, there are some ways to try to pull back in the light.

Please note, this column is the opinion of the columinst and not that of GNI or Romeo & Julian Publiccations Ltd.

It isn’t you though. Christmas is hard sure, but it is still a great time with parties and meet ups and all of the rest of the festivities. January and February just suck. It’s cold, it’s wet, it’s just downright miserable so nobody wants to leave the house. And everyones poor after Christmas. And seasonal depression is a real thing. Even if you wanted to meet someone, it is just so much more difficult right now – cuffing season ended months

You can date yourself instead! You can use all of the money you have saved not buying a significant other presents, and buy yourself something nice. Whether that is flowers and chocolates, or just a new top you have been eyeing for a while – it’s important to treat yourself. Jump in a nice long shower or bath, use all of the expensive ‘special occasion’ stuff you got for Christmas. Then, hop out, pour yourself a large glass of your favourite wine, get a nice takeaway and put on your nicest comfies. Also, sex toys exist, and are usually on sale just after Valentines Day. If sitting in isn’t your style, or you are getting a little bit cabin-fevery pop out to your local coffee shop with a good book and take advice from Peter Andre, become that mysterious girl (or guy or they) in a café. Reading is just a great way to escape for a while and a coffee-book date is just unbelievably cosy.

If it is loneliness making you blue, go and see your loved ones – not all relationships are romantic and gal-entines or guy-lentines doesn’t have to just be one night. Have regular meet ups to play boardgames or do paint and sips –stuff where you can be in the house and cosy whilst having a cracking time. If you are still feeling grumpy and frustrated after all of that, get yourself down to the gym. Not only does it work on making you look fit, it makes you feel good mentally and physically, gives you a sense of accomplishment, gets out lots of pent-up energy, and comes with the added bonus that its one of the few places that is good to potentially meet someone hot regardless of the time of year. A win-win-win.

A big thing when focusing on yourself is knowing what you actually want – and figuring that out can be quite difficult to do. When you are in the dark hole that seasonal depression puts lots of us in, we can fall into a pattern that keeps us there and makes it difficult to get out. You feel low, so you do less things that matter, which perpetuates a bad mood, and you end up getting less out of life. In order to break away from this, we need to figure out what are the things that matter. To do this we need to think about what matters to us, what we value.

Firstly, look at yourself.

How do you look after yourself? What makes you relax? What hobbies do you like? What interests you?

Secondly, look at others. What kind of friend do you want to be? What kind of family member? What do you want people to say about you behind your back?

Finally, look at the bigger picture. What are the big things that matter? Education? Work? Charity?

Now we have looked at what is important to us, schedule in time for these. Plan things that support these goals and move you closer to everything you dream of accomplishing. Something that is important to remember is to stick to the plan, not the mood. It is easy to want to cancel plans because it’s raining and cold and miserable outside, and you are tired, and you just don’t feel like it. Stick to the plan, not the mood because not doing things you love will just keep the cycle going. If you go to the plans and do the things you love, it will better your mood and help you get more out of life, or at least out of winter. Plus, going to these hobbies and activities that you love could lead you to meet new people that share your values and passions and lead to more love in your life, whether that is romantic or not.

Focus on you. On your dreams and your passions. On your favourite shows and snacks and jammies. In the cosy café down the road with that book you have been dying to read. Being alone does not have to mean lonely, you will be grand.