Balance Counsellor

Balance Counselling and Coaching Ltd PUT YOUR LIFE IN BALANCE

By Kathryn Taylor

I have had many times in my life where I have felt that I was no longer in control of my destiny, be that through stresses of work, relationships or just life in general, today I want to focus on the impacts this can have on your mental health and then provide some easy to follow, achievable, steps that you can take for yourself, at any point that you start to feel, anxious, stressed or just plain overwhelmed in life.

But before I do that, I just want to start by giving a brief explanation of what stress is, what causes it and the impact on the body physically and mentally.

What is stress?

Stress is the body’s natural response to any situation where it perceives a threat, real or imagined, the body then responds by triggering physical reactions in the body most commonly know as the “Fight or Flight response”. This is the bodies way of trying to protect you and keep you safe. Highly useful when you are in an emergency situation as it puts the body into a state of heightened awareness.

The heart rate increases, the adrenaline pumps, your breathing quickens all helping to increase your strength and stamina as well as improving your focus and increasing your reaction time. Ensuring you are ready to stand and fight or run for safety.

Examples of this would include: • Someone breaking into your house at night • Being followed by a stranger

Sometimes, this reaction can also be useful in helping you face challenges in your life for example facing new opportunities, doing a presentation to others etc.

After the perceived threat has passed it usually takes the body about twenty to thirty minutes to calm down after a stress response.

When is stress bad for you?

Stress is bad for you when it becomes your base state, when you start to feel overwhelmed frequently. I have listed below some of the behaviours and physical symptoms you may see if you or someone close to you is suffering from stress/ overwhelm. Behavioural Impact Emotional Impact

Sleep issues (too much/too little) Crying constantly Substance abuse (Alcohol/Drugs) Feelings of overwhelm Eating (more/less) Moodiness (Angry/Irritable) Procrastinating Anxiety

Mental Impact Physical Symptoms

Inability to concentrate Seeing only the negative Constant worrying Chest pains Stomach Upsets/Nausea Aches and Pains

When we are in a constant state of stress it prevents us from being able to respond in a rational and balanced way and our ability to deal with and manage our emotional responses reduces greatly so we are more likely to overreact and catastrophise about situations. This can lead us to become locked into a way of thinking where we can only perceive the negatives of the situation and find it difficult if not impossible to see the potential for solutions and opportunities

As implied above many different things can cause stress some externally driven and some that we create for ourselves, however the feelings of overwhelm and stress have the same impacts.

The top ten causes of stress as defined by the “Homes and Rahe Stress Scale” are:

1. Death of a spouse

2. Divorce

3. Marriage/Partner separation

4. Imprisonment

5. Death of a close family member

6. Injury or illness

7. Marriage

8. Job loss

9. Marriage reconciliation

10. Retirement

What can you do to reduce your stress in your life?

There are several steps you can take to reduce the feelings of stress and anxiety to bring you into a calmer state and enable you to put plans in place to enable you to reach a place of peace.

Ways to reduce stress

Below are some ways you can look to reduce stress in your life and bring yourself back into a balanced state.

1. What are the areas causing you stress?

• List all the things that is currently causing you concern. • Do these all fall into different categories or are do they fall in one area of your life? Home, Relationships, Work etc?

• Look at each individual category separately and focus on one issue at a time and write down what you know about it.

• Is this a fact and if so, what evidence do you have to support it? • If it isn't a fact what is the actual reality of the situation?

How can you find out the facts? • What steps can you take to resolve or reduce the impacts.

Ensure these are broken down into small steps. • What alternative ways could you achieve the results you want? Try to think of several different options so that should one option turn out to not be viable you have alternatives to fall back on.

• Decide on your own achievable targets and set deadlines. • Take action

2. Ways to calm the mind and reduce the stress responses.

Breathing exercises

• BOX BREATHING

a. Sit up straight in a chair with your feet flat on the floor b. Close your eyes c. Then breathe in for a count of 5

d. Hold your breath for a count of 5 e. Breathe out for a count 5

f. Hold your breath for 5 g. Repeat steps c – f for up-to 5 but a minimum of 2

• BELLY BREATHING

a. Sit up straight in a chair with your feet on the ground or lie down

b. Place your right hand on your chest and the left on your stomach

c. Breathe in slowly through the nose allowing the breath to move down to your stomach area d. You should feel your stomach push your hand upwards.

The hand on your chest should remain still e. Breathe out through pursed lips, the hand on your stomach will drop down f. Repeat steps c to e for 5 minutes

• 4-7-8 BREATHING

a. Sit up straight in a chair with your feet on the ground or lie down

b. Breathe in for a count of 4

c. Hold your breath for a count of 7 d. Breathe out forcibly through your mouth for a count of 8 e. Repeat steps b-d 4 times