Flourish Therapy Clinic

Making Habits Stick

Flourish Therapy Clinic

Habits are a set of behaviours that help to make us – us! They are what we repeatedly do each day. What we think about; who we spend time with; our preferred social media and screens; how we organize our wardrobe; which food we eat; how we procrastinate and how we stay productive (or not!). These are all habitual. Ultimately, habits underly our narrative and can form, as well as spring from, our personality traits.

Playing such a large part in our lives, the formation of good habits is one way in which we really have the power to improve our day to day experience, and our essential wellbeing. (Potentially that of others, too).

Most of us have tried to start a ‘habit’ enthusiastically – and failed to sustain it, to our disappointment, or even shame. Take heart. Thoroughly integrating a new habit in your life is possible (whatever your age!). But jumping in on the magic date of January 1st might not be all you need: it takes a little forethought, perseverance and time. Below, you will find a few expert tips on how to go about building new habits.

Be Specific, and Plan ahead

Many people think they lack motivation when what they really lack is clarity. It is not always obvious when and where to take action to start a new habit, and some people spend their entire lives waiting for the right time to make an improvement. Others make the details of their new behaviour so vague that they set a course for confusion, evasion, and giving up.

The easiest way to implement a new habit is to be precise as possible. Start by filling out this sentence: I will (BEHAVIOUR) at (TIME) in (LOCATION).

For example: I will go for a walk at 6pm daily, at the park over the road or I will cook and eat a meal at home four evenings a week.

To remind yourself, try writing it down clearly somewhere and stick it up in your home where you will see it - or set reminders on your phone. It takes 28 days for a habit to stick, so by preparing reminders, it makes it easier not to let a new behaviour slide!

Decide on your new habit some time before you mean to begin it, and think whether anything needs to be prepared first, so that you won’t run into problems when you start. For example, make sure you have all the equipment needed to begin a new hobby.

Design your Environment

We’re all hugely influenced by our environments, so make sure yours reflect the good habits you’re trying to create.

For example if you are trying to eat a more nourishing diet, reduce temptation in the kitchen by getting rid of tempting treats and restock with plenty of nutritious, filling and tasty snacks. If you want to drink more water, buy a water filter jug and fill it so it’s ready cold in the fridge, and a water bottle you like to carry around with you. If you want to do something creative instead of watching TV, lay out the materials invitingly in easy reach where you can comfortably use them. live and work in to increase your exposure to positive cues and reduce your exposure to negative ones. Environment design allows you to take back control and become the architect of your life, be the designer of your own world.

Find Support

The company we keep also has enormous influence on us. If you think you are likely to give up on your own, consider asking a good friend or family member to help. They might do this just by reminders, or by encouragement and interest, or by holding you ‘accountable’ to give you motivation and a sense of support.

If you are trying to make a large change which is important to your health or wellbeing, and you know will be a struggle, you might need to go further and seek professional help. Try to choose a coach, or mentor, teacher or therapist, who 127www.lancmag.com

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you know has experience and good references, so that you can begin with a relationship of trust.

If you would like professional support with habits to do with disordered eating, obesity, mental health, or general wellbeing, Flourish Therapy Clinic has many experienced and skilled clinicians and counsellors who would be happy to help. Contact us on: 01772 915735. You can find out more at:

www.flourishtherapyclinic.co.uk

Find YOUR Habit

It can be difficult to identify exactly what it is you want to change or implement. It needs to be something that matters to you personally, for you to feel it worth the effort and be successful. If you are struggling to decide, try brainstorming or journalling the things you wish were different in your lifestyle. Then read over them and choose the ones which stand out as most important – or most do-able.

Starting small is the best way to ensure you will stick to changes. The latest science of successful behaviour change tells us that if we want to create new habits, it’s essential to start easy. Stanford University psychologist BJ Fogg tells a story about how he turned the chore of flossing his teeth into a habit by starting with just one tooth. He made it a task that took hardly any effort, willpower or motivation. Yet after finishing one tooth, he found he just naturally wanted to do another. And then another. Within a month he was automatically flossing all his teeth twice a day.

Learn from Setbacks

Setbacks are a natural part of anything in life and should be used as a learning curve, instead of a roadblock. Don’t be hard on yourself. What could you do differently next time so that you don’t repeat the same mistakes? Every day is a new opportunity to succeed, so take it one day at a time. And remember, each time you pick yourself up and start again, you are further along the path - taking with you the skill and practice you have already acquired in learning your new habit.

Celebrate the Wins

Celebrating even the smallest wins can be good for our mental health. Don’t be afraid to pat yourself on the back or give a little cheer every time you make a good choice. Celebrating in this manner is highly effective in promoting a sense of achievement and encouraging the continuity of good habits.

Further Reading: Atomic Habits, an easy and proven way to build new habits and break old ones, by James Clear.

Denise Mullen is a journalist, columnist, writer and entrepreneur. “A Fox Stole My Slippers And I Was Knocked Down By A Shetland Pony!”

By Denise Mullen

Now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d utter. It happened on a Monday. I had cleaned out the dust bunnies and unloved shoes from beneath the staircase and re-discovered a pair of fluffy slippers that were carrying a little extra fluff.

So, having washed them, I stacked them in the porch to dry in a gentle through-draft. I remembered them fondly. Comfy.

A little later I trudged out to worm one large Spanish horse who hates being wormed and Satan’s Handbags who enjoy a bit of a tussle. Satan’s Handbags are the resident Shetland rescue duo. One is a ‘standard’ Shetland and the other is smaller, and darty-er.

They’re called Sassy (the gingery job) and Belle (the dark and devilish version). Both come up to just above my knees.

Sass (aka Satan) and Belle (aka Bellatrix/Belladonna/Bele Lugosi), if they were in a girl-band, would be tiny, latent-evil backing singers. The sort to go out on the town later, eat junk food and quaff way too much Lambrini and hog the mirrors in the powder room.

I was lamenting the loss of one slipper to the fox, having found the other – mildly chewed - in some undergrowth, so I suppose I was a little distracted as I set out to start the drama.

If you have ever tried to give a cat a tablet, then you will have some grasp of the challenge at hand. The first ‘cat’ is 16 hands tall and has ‘smarts’ to burn. She knows a wormer when she sees it.

Having been slung around a little by the bigger horse for about 15 minutes, I resorted eventually to the sneaky tactic of popping a towel up against the eye nearest to the hand holding the wormer applicator - and went for it. The mare still isn’t speaking to me. Her Spanish name means Standard Bearer. She has the highest standards, and she’s now bearing a grudge. She regarded me disdainfully, down her nose, as I retreated, her mouth foaming with wormer residue and her head full of revenge.

Then it was on to the dastardly duo.Wearing their cute little headcollars (one baby blue, the other one baby pink) the ungrateful pair were brought out of their luxurious shared stable and tied up on the yard. I had already prepared the administration method for this little double act. An apple, quartered, drilled out, filled with syrup and wormer, and the drilled-out apple ‘plug’ popped back in.

Apparently, Shetlands have the nostrils of Bloodhounds. This tactic was not going to fool anyone.

Bele Lugosi (first movie actor to play Dracula) eventually complied – her urge for apple overcoming her revulsion for wormer.

The Original Bela Lugosi

Smug with triumph I moved on to the other of Satan’s Handbags – Sassy. She was having none of it. On her back legs she is about the same height as me, I discovered, and was giving me the side-eye as

she bobbed away from the (probably poisoned?) apple quarter. As she thudded back to the ground, one of her little feet firmly trapped my shoe, and then she pushed forward. Job done. Unable to move my foot as she shoved, my only option was to fall, turtle-like, onto my back.

Just the nine goes to get that apple in there. Not poisoned. All is good.

We have six months to devise a new and better cunning plan to administer medicine for the good of your health ladies!

I’m not holding out much hope. Horses, whatever their size, have memories like indelible pads (or Google ads). Once they’ve experienced a thing, they don’t forget it. Even casual sauntering with a wormer applicator behind your back doesn’t cut the mustard.