Miranda Christopher

MIRANDA CHRISTOPHER My Next Obvious Step...

At the time of writing this article, I am contemplating the next steps of my life and business. What is it that I truly want to create in my life? Freedom has always been a core value of mine. Not just financial freedom, it’s having the freedom to explore any area of interest. To discover new things and share those discoveries with others so they benefit all of us.

Yet, sometimes in life that exploration is inward focused and the discoveries are about you and how you have been living your life.

When I trained to become a Style Coach™ back in 2015, one of my favourite forms of coaching, I came to understand how we hold ourselves back in life; in all areas of life. Business, relationships, finances, health and so much more. As part of the Style Coaching™ model we recognise that the self-image can be very misaligned with the true image of ourselves. In fact all of us to some degree have been hypnotised not to see ourselves clearly.

The influences of our childhood, our cultures, our education and over the last 50 years or so through the glamourisation of products and services by a marketing industry that at it’s simplest, wants us to conform to an image of perfection. I used to think it was mainly women impacted, however further exploration has shown me that men are equally impacted, it just manifests differently for men.

In 2020 I made a bold statement that left a number of people wondering if I had completely lost the plot. I stated to my social connections that I wanted to “unmarket” myself and I wasn’t just talking about my business. I wanted to explore and discover who I was at my core without the limitations of who I had believed I was; to peel back the layers and reveal the authentic me. It meant 2021 was both a challenging and yet freeing year for me.

When our self-image is so disconnected from who we truly are it leads to anxiety, fear and depression. Yet, I can honestly say none of us who experience this are broken. We are just beholden to that false identity of who we have been instructed to be – that hidden rulebook of life.

Style Coaching™ is an inside out approach, helping us to express on the outside who we truly are on the inside. Your image and how you show up in the world is unique to you. If you want some idea of the rules you have been following – from your culture, your family and society as a whole – just check out your wardrobe. What do the

contents say? What colours are there, are they bright and cheerful or drab? What are your clothes projecting about your personality? Do they say confidence in who you are or do you use them to hide yourself?

A former client struggled with her business for so long because she believed that she had to dress a certain way to be taken seriously; she was so uncomfortable in the clothing she was wearing – feeling like a fraud - can you imagine the image she was actually projecting? When she gained the confidence to be in her true nature she was able to let the clothing go and express herself fully. And guess what: her business grew rapidly, matching her newly uncovered confidence and sense of personal power!

There are many stories in our wardrobes. Some tell of happy events like weddings and birthdays, others are there to remind us to play small in life, to keep ourselves hidden and carry shame on the physical appearance of our bodies.

When doing a wardrobe audit, it goes beyond colour, body shape and style; for those people whose self-image is so disconnected, the contents of their wardrobes often contain distressing stories. I remember working with another client who had kept a dress, a “gift” from a former boyfriend. Using this process, she had come to realise that his gifts were ways of controlling her, to limit her and to ensure that she suited his distorted image of what a girlfriend should look like. Can you imagine what happened to that dress?

In 2021, I came to the realisation that I have too been very disconnected from my physical body. A situation that caused yo-yo dieting from an early age. My hidden rules were full of the opinions and expressions of others, those rules were so deeply encoded within me that I had no idea how to truly nourish my body.

I stepped back into using meditation and guided visualisations, another part of the Style Coach™ toolkit. I began to connect with the end results of being healthy and vital and feel that expressed chemically throughout my body, creating new pathways in my brain leading to new supporting habits. I started to become aware of physical hunger vs emotional hunger. And, I had to go back to basics on nutrition.

I also sent all those clothes that aligned with others expectations of how we should dress, those black and grey suites and starchy white blouses, off to the charity shop. I purchased quirky and bright clothing that expressed my quirky and bright true nature. I don’t follow any set rules on what and how I should dress, I just got to know the authentic me.

My next obvious step, in terms of my business, was to bring back the passion that I have for clothing that expresses our true nature and enables clients to feel confident and powerful. So what’s your obvious next step? I highly recommend that you perform your own wardrobe audit. Seek out the stories that are hidden in there. The ones that say “some day I’ll be slim again”, “they said I looked good in this”, “I feel awesome in this – why don’t I wear it anymore?” stories. Sit with the them and notice how you feel about them, notice the thoughts that pop into your head. Are they helpful stories? Do they serve in creating a life that you love? If not, now might be a good time to create new stories, don’t you think?

www.mirandachristopher.com

Laura Pearson is an Intentional Life Coach and Professional Declutterer & Organiser, based in Lancashire. Her mission is to help people to consciously create, live and love their own version of an intentional life and clutter-free, organised space.

When we think about clutter, we typically think of physical clutter. We picture overflowing wardrobes, crowded sideboards and surfaces, and corners filled with junk. But clutter is so much more than our physical stuff.

We can have cluttered lives and lifestyles too. One topic that I love talking about as an Intentional Life Coach, Declutterer, and Organiser is lifestyle clutter! Lifestyle clutter is anything in your life that isn’t in alignment with what you really want (and often taking time and energy away from what is important to you).

Given that Spring is (thankfully) on the way, and the dark mornings and evenings will soon be turning lighter, I thought that I’d share some key examples of life clutter that you should consider letting go of when you do your Spring Clean this year.

1YOUR TO-DO LIST We all have To-Do Lists, right? But how often do you find yourself adding to it, rather than subtracting from it? How often do you find yourself re-writing it and putting the same things on there day after day that you never get around to and have no intention of doing? And then to top all of this off, you probably look at it and feel bad, or guilty, or feel like you haven’t “done enough”. I invite you to reflect on your To-Do List and declutter it. Declutter the things that don’t serve you, contribute to the life you want to create or bring you joy.

2PEOPLE AND RELATIONSHIPS People and Relationships can be a tricky one when it comes to decluttering. But it is also one of the most freeing categories! Spending time with people who drain your energy (AKA Energy Vampires) and people who leave you feeling worse than before you saw them is not a vibe. Hang around with people who feel like sunshine. Surround yourself with people who brighten your day. Enjoy meaningful relationships with people who support you and love you at your best and your worst. Consider whether there are any people or relationships in your life that aren’t positively contributing to it.

3YOUR HABITS Do you have any habits in your life that don’t serve you? Perhaps you’re aware of them, but haven’t quite broken the shackles? Consider whether you have any habits that you need to break free from

this year? Perhaps you impulse buy or unconsciously shop and then experience those pangs of regret or resentment for overbuying or overspending or bringing physical clutter into your home that you don’t really need? Habits are simply patterns. Patterns can be broken.

4TECHNOLOGY In this modern world, we all tend to use technology, whether it’s for personal or professional use, or both. With this excessive use of technology, comes technological clutter! Perhaps you have thousands of emails that stress you out every time that you open your inbox? Perhaps you’re guilty of deleting twenty emails each morning from shops and services that you don’t want to buy from? Perhaps you’re in countless message threads or online chats and you find it all too overwhelming or distracting? Maybe all of this technological clutter is taking your time away from other things that you’d rather spend it on? Consider whether you should delete, leave and unsubscribe, rather than putting off dealing with your technological clutter again tomorrow.

5MEDIA CONSUMPTION We’ve all been guilty of mindlessly consuming media at one time or another. Whether it is mindlessly watching TV for hours on end, obsessing over the news, or spending way too much time scrolling on social media. Be mindful of what you consume and consider whether you’ll feel better for taking a step back and spending your time doing something that makes you feel good? Instead of curling up on the sofa after a busy day at work, try getting some fresh air, moving your body and taking up the passion project that you keep putting off.

By decluttering lifestyle clutter, we make space for the things that really matter to us and take the first steps to creating our own version of an intentional life.

I’d love to hear what you’re feeling called to declutter as we move into Spring? Let me know by reaching out on social media @officiallaurapearson or emailing me on laura@laurapearsoncoaching.com

I’m on a mission to help people to declutter and simplify their lives, minds and space, so that they can consciously create and live their own version of an intentional, meaningful, self-connected life. If you need support on your own journey, check out my 1:1 Life Coaching Programme: Intentional, my Decluttering and Organising Services for your space, or my Minimalism Mentoring Package.

Connect with Laura D www.laurapearsoncoaching.com I @officiallaurapearson F @officiallaurapearson E laura@laurapearsoncoaching.com

Download Laura’s free guide – 5 Steps to Start Decluttering your Life at: www.laurapearsoncoaching.com/ 5-steps-to-start-decluttering-freebie