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name It’s all in the
Struggling to decide what to call your little one? Don’t narrow down your shortlist until you’ve read naming consultant Maryanna Korwitts’ advice
NEED MORE HELP? Try our fun baby name generator. Visit motherandbaby. co.uk/babynames-generator 2 8 | Fe b r u a r y 2 0 1 6 | m o t h e ra n d b a b y. c o. u k
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icking a name is one of the most fun parts of having a baby. But how do you make sure you choose a name that will suit your little one from those gorgeous newborn days all the way through to when he is grown up, working and maybe starting a family of his own? And, even more importantly, how do you find the name that will make them happy, well respected... and even set them on the road to becoming a CEO? Yes, according to experts a name can really do that! ‘I have hundreds of parents from around the world every year who contact me to help them pick a name for their baby,’ says naming consultant Maryanna Korwitts. A former teacher with a background in psychology, she runs the Naming Experience website. ‘Parents often feel overwhelmed when it comes to naming their baby. This is partly because there are so many choices now, and also because we’re recognising how important a
CHOOSING A NAME
The hot name trends for 2016 1. NAME ‘MASH-UPS’ Can’t decide between Jennifer and Kendall? Then go for a ‘mash-up’ and call her Jendall. To make it work, go for names that sound similar in the middle, like Elizabeth and Isabella. 2. CROWD-SOURCING A Canadian couple conducted a baby-name poll
MEET THE EXPERT Maryanna Korwitts is a naming consultant and runs thenaming experience.com
on Reddit, finally settling on the name Amelia Savannah Joy. Get typing. 3. STEP BACK IN TIME Parents are increasingly interested in the tradition behind a name, and use stories as part of their child’s identity. A popular name for 2016 is Guinevere, from the legend of King Arthur.
name is when it comes to shaping our identity. Plus, there are many things to consider, from how a name flows with your surname to who else has the same name in popular culture.’ So how do you make sure your child isn’t rushing to change his name by Deed Poll when he’s 18?
DO A NAME ‘ROAD TEST’
‘I advise all my parents to give the names they are shortlisting a “road test”,’ says Maryanna. The next time you book a table at a restaurant or call a taxi, use one of the names you are considering for your child. ‘This is the best way to get honest opinions and reactions to the name,’ says Maryanna. ‘If everyone says, “wow, great name”, then you might decide it’s definitely the right one. But if everyone is asking, “sorry, how do you spell that?”, or mispronouncing it, you might think it’s too complicated for your little one. You are basically seeing how the world will view your child’s name, before they are even born.’
WILL THE NAME AGE WELL?
While the name you like might sound perfect for your baby, is it really so appropriate when he’s 30 and trying to climb the career ladder? ‘It’s more important to think about how the name will work when he’s an adult’, says
, r e h t o m e k i L ? r e t h g u a d e lik Ever open your mouth and hear your mum’s voice coming out? Your childhood has had a huge impact on how you choose to parent, and it’s fascinating!
PA R E N T I N G Q U I Z
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magine it’s dinnertime and your toddler is refusing to eat her peas – how do you handle the situation? Whether you demand that she eats every last one or let her go straight to the ice cream will, according to child psychologist Dr Claire Halsey, depend almost entirely on how you were raised as a child. ‘We learn a lot about parenting from our own parents,’ says Claire. ‘If you had a happy childhood and liked the way you were raised, you’ll probably follow your parents and raise your child the same way. But if you didn’t find your upbringing a positive experience, you’re likely to try not to be like your mum and dad when you become a parent yourself.’ There’s no absolutely right or wrong way to parent, but taking an objective look at how your parents behaved, and how that made you feel, can help you understand a lot about how you parent your own children. There are, psychologically speaking, four defined parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive and uninvolved. Try our quiz to find out which style your parents used, then turn over to discover how that might affect the way you’re bringing up your child.
T ry t h i s !
To discover the similarities and differences in how you were raised, and how you are raising your child, think back to your childhood and answer our questions… When you went for a day trip to the seaside with your parents, what is the first thing they ’d say? A Time to build a sandcastle! B Would you like to play on the beach or go for an ice cream first? C What do you want to do today? D Nothing, I was left to my own devices while my parents read the paper. When was your bedtime when you were six? A It was lights out at 7pm on the dot. B Between 7 and 8, it depended whether I’d chosen a long story or a short one. C Whenever I wanted (hello 11pm!) D I put myself to bed when I felt tired. What did your mum say if you didn’t want to eat your vegetables at dinner time? A Clean your plate! B Please eat your peas or your carrots.
C What would you like instead? D She didn’t even notice!
MEET THE EXPERT Dr Claire Halsey is a child psychologist, author and broadcaster who has specialised in parenting and child development for almost 30 years; clairehalsey.com
Tip If you’re making a parenting decision, take a deep breath and pause before you say anything. Ask yourself, ‘Am I saying this because I want to say it, or is it because that’s what my parents used to say to me?’
You wanted to go out to play without a coat on. How would your mum have reacted? A I wasn’t allowed out without a coat and hat on. B Mum let me choose between wearing my coat or putting a hat and scarf on. C She’d say I could go out, but to come in if I was feeling cold. D She just said goodbye. Were you given pocket money when you were at school, and if so, how much? A 50p every week. B I got 50p a week, but could do extra jobs to earn more. C I didn’t have pocket money, Mum just gave me money when I asked for it. D Yes, whatever change was in my dad’s pocket. What happened when you were getting ready for school? A Up, breakfast, teeth, dressed, go! B We could choose whether to get dressed or have breakfast first. C I’d just do what I wanted, I was often late! D I got myself ready and made my own breakfast. If you went on a family day out to the zoo, what would it be like? A Dad would work out a route so we could see everything, and we’d stick to it with military precision. B When we’d finished looking at one enclosure, we’d choose where to go next. C I’d get to pick what I wanted to see, even if it meant zigzagging all over the park from one thing to the next. D There wasn’t a plan and we’d often get split up. You and your brother/sister were fighting. What would your mum do? A She’d send us to our rooms. B Explain why we shouldn’t fight. C Give us some chocolate and put the TV on to distract us. D We were always fighting. Mum and Dad didn’t really worry, unless one of us was hurt! t u r n ov e r t o f i n d o u t w h at yo u r A n s w e r s r e v e a l
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The no-stress guide to
The simplest and easiest way to introduce your little one to solids can also help her development
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aby-led weaning is the ultimate parenting hack. When you think of starting your baby on solid foods, you might imagine it will involve a lot of scouring recipe books for the best blends of fruit and veg for your baby, then steaming and puréeing. Finally, once you’ve prepared a special meal for your baby, you've got to get her to eat it, slowly feeding her every last mouthful. But baby-led weaning offers an easy alternative to spoon-feeding which lets your baby take the lead, using food you cook for the whole family. Instead of letting your own food go cold while you feed your baby, you can enjoy meals together as a family with no pressure on you or your child. ‘It’s a common-sense way to move on to solid food,’ says expert Tracey Murkett. ‘It’s based on natural development, and allows your baby to join in with healthy family meals. You allow your baby to walk and talk in her own time, and baby-led weaning allows her to eat when she’s ready too.’ Getting started couldn’t be simpler. As long as what you’re eating is healthy, your baby can
MEET THE EXPERT Tracey Murkett has co-authored four books on baby-led weaning and parenting with former health visitor Gill Rapley. Their first book, Baby-led Weaning: Helping Your Baby to Love Good Food (£12.99, amazon.co.uk), has been translated into 12 languages.
have a go at eating it too. ‘The main things to avoid are salt and sugar,’ says Tracey. ‘If your baby is under 12 months, she shouldn’t be given honey, as this can contain botulism, or runny eggs, which can contain salmonella. Your baby’s defences aren’t strong enough to fight these off yet. But she can start with a wide range of foods.’ Ideal first foods include big pieces of pasta, strips of tender meat, fruit, veg, and toast or flatbread. Cutting meat and veg into long strips and stick-shapes makes it easier for babies to pick them up and have a go at eating them. Veg needs to be cooked so it’s soft enough to bite into but firm enough to pick up and hold. Small round items like grapes and cherry tomatoes should be cut in half, or even quarters, to reduce the risk of choking. It’s a good idea to offer your baby different shapes and textures at mealtimes so she can explore the food and discover it for herself. Parents often worry their baby might not eat enough if left to her own devices. But, as long she’s still given breastmilk or formula as usual, there’s no need to worry about how much food she eats.
m o t h e r a n d b a b y . c o . u k | Fe br u ar y 2 0 1 6 | 5 1
Finger Food! FUN W I T H
Following our guide to baby-led weaning, here are some finger foods your baby will love
MEET THE EXPERT Ciara Attwell is a kids-food blogger and mum to Aoife, four, and Finn, 20 months, myfussyeater.com
Butterfly sandwich A cute and inventive meal to bring a smile to the face of your little explorer Directions
Cut the sandwich into a butterfly shape. You can either use a butterfly sandwich cutter or do it by hand. Cut a stick of cucumber the same length as the butterfly sandwich and place it between the halves of the sandwich. Cut another two very
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Ingredients:
Ham sandwich Cucumber Raisins Cheese Radish Lettuce Carrot
thin slices of cucumber to make the butterfly’s antennae and use two raisins for the eyes. To decorate the rest of the plate use a cookie cutter to cut a butterfly-shaped piece of cheese. Cut three thin slices of radish to make the flower heads, and three thin slices of cucumber to make the stems. Use shredded lettuce and grated carrot for the grass and soil.
Serves: 1
Kiwi rice cake turtles Inspired by an ocean–dweller,
this tasty and nutritious snack is sure to delight your little one Directions
Place the kiwi slices on top of the rice cakes. Slice one grape in half lengthways for the turtles’ heads. Use the edible food pen to draw on eyes. Slice the other two grapes lengthways into quarters to make the legs. Finally, add some blueberries around the turtles for bubbles.
FUN WITH FOOD For more family meal inspiration and healthy eating guides, head to motherandbaby. co.uk/food
Ingredients
2 small rice cakes 2 slices of kiwi 3 green grapes Edible food pen Blueberries (optional)
Serves: 1
Snack house Lay the foundations for healthy eating with fruit and veg Directions
Break the breadsticks in half, then use them to make the shape of a house. Add the cucumber for windows, and cheese for the door. Add one raisin as the door handle. Use the remaining raisins to create a garden path. Place the radish slices either side of the house to make the flowers, and use thin slices of cucumber for the stems. Add the shredded lettuce for grass. Add the blueberries for smoke, an orange slice for the sun, and some very small, thin pieces of cucumber for birds.
Serves: 1 Ingredients
3 long breadsticks 3 slices of cucumber 1 slice of cheese Handful of raisins 2 slices of radish Shredded lettuce 2 slices of cucumber 1 slice of orange Handful of blueberries
m o t h e r a n d b a b y . c o . u k | Fe br u ar y 2 0 1 6 | 9 3
LEARNING T O TA L K
Special
0-6 months Making eye contact
From the moment your baby is born, she instinctively wants to look at your face. Within 15 hours of birth, she can recognise which face her mum’s voice is coming from. Establishing good eye contact from the very start will encourage your baby to look at your face to see where the sound comes from and, a few weeks down the line, copy and experiment with her own voice to communicate with you. Try this At a distance of no more than
20cm (so your baby can keep your face in focus), make eye contact with your newborn. Poke out your tongue and make an ‘ooo’ shape with your mouth. Your baby will watch you intently and then may copy you.
Crying becomes talking A newborn is usually silent or crying. Researchers have identified four main types of crying (pain, discomfort, hunger and tired) and your baby is, quite literally, finding her voice. At six to eight weeks, these cries will become the first ‘words’ your baby speaks as they turn into vowel sounds and experimental noises. Listen out for ‘ah’, ‘ur’, ‘ooo’, ‘ei’, ‘uh’ and ‘aya’. Try this Whenever you cuddle your
baby, say ‘ahh’. Then get some cuddly toys, and say ‘ahh’ as you cuddle each one. Your baby will start to copy you.
Accidental learning Pay attention to all that early gurgling. Initially, your baby might say something which sounds like a real word by accident, as part of her experimental speech. For example, she might say ‘iya’ which you take to mean ‘hiya’.
Because you are so delighted and reward her by saying the word back to her again and again, she’ll begin to understand that she’s communicating with you and repeat the word, randomly initially, then in the correct context.
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Developing a conversation At eight to ten weeks babies can have conversations – by that we simply mean two people communicating with each other. You both need to learn the art of turn-taking, and it’s often the parents who need more practice at this than the babies! Instead of constantly chatting, leave gaps so she can respond. Try this Hold your baby in front of
you, supporting her head, and make eye contact with her. Say, ‘Hello, gorgeous girl!’ and wait for her to say something (expect ‘ahh’s and ‘ooh’s). Once she has finished ‘talking’, leave a pause, in case she has more to say. Then make a comment yourself, such as, ‘It’s lovely to hear you talk’. Keep it to a similar length to what your baby said, and wait for her to say some more. If she cuts you off, let her. Give her smiles and eye contact to show you’re finding her ‘story’ interesting.
‘ Aya!’
6-12 months
Babbling
Babbling usually begins between five and seven months, and you’ll start hearing the first consonant sounds. Speech sounds appear in a pre-determined developmental order, so listen out for ‘p’, ‘b’, ‘m’ and ‘w’ and then later ‘d’ and ‘g’. ‘Babble’ refers to the sound made when the same consonant sound is added to a vowel noise, for example, ‘ba-ba’ or ‘goo-goo’. By eight to nine months, babbling develops to adding two consonant sounds together, such as ‘mu-bu’ or ‘du-wu’. By 10 months, the babble reaches up to five syllables and varied tones – ‘goo-eee-yah’ or ‘ka-da-bu-ba’. It sounds like your baby has invented her own language! Try this Make a babble bag – a set of toys that encourage your child to babble, that you can play with together. Good toys would be a pretend mobile phone, a microphone toy, a mirror, a noisy book, a kitchen-roll tube that makes an echo when you speak down it, toy animals (choose some that make distinct noises, such as ‘moo-moo’ or ‘woof-woof ’), a toy car (‘brum-brum’) and hand puppets.
Pointing Tip! If your baby is sitting on your lap while you ‘chat’, she’s using a lot of her energy simply holding her head up. Lay her down on her back and she’s likely to put that energy into making noises instead.
We are the only animals that point, drawing someone else’s attention to what we want them to focus on, even when that object is some distance away. When two people are focusing on the same thing it’s known as ‘joint attention’, and, for good communication, it’s a very important skill to acquire. Amazingly, babies who can’t talk will point to each other
‘Ba-ba-ba!’ m o t h e r a n d b a b y . c o . u k | Fe br u ar y 2 0 1 6 | 4 1
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