Get The Most Out of a Parent Child Relationship In Basketball

By Isabella Schoffler

As Carly dribbles the ball up to the three-point line two defenders jog toward her. The clock ticks down from 16 seconds as sweat rolled down her back. She is faced with the sturdily rimmed hoop and the ball in her hand. Suddenly, a shout from the sidelines comes along. “Remember to follow through!” her dad screams. A jolt of reassurance from everything that her dad had helped her with came to her, and she knew exactly what to do. Carly shifted her right foot behind the other and poised herself. *Beep* and then a whoosh brushes the basket. It goes in and the tie is broken with 17 points going to her now, winning team.

You and your dad have been working on the perfect shot all year. Every time that you wanted to quit or thought it was too hard, your dad would give you encouragement and tell you to “get back up”. Your dad is basketball Coach for the Raptors and worked with you when you and your family moved to Madrid. Being the coach’s daughter has always been stressful, but thinking about how the game had gone, it is much more of a blessing than a curse now that you really think about it.

One of these parent-child relationships in sports can be seen with the basketball duo of Coach Gonzalez and Carly. Carly’s father played basketball professionally in college, and now he is currently a Coach for girls basketball at LASA and believes that for players to succeed, they should be able to be coached.

Meet The Coaches

Coach Gonzales played for the University of Delaware from 1955 to 1999. He started playing basketball when he was young because his dad played basketball. He went to California to play basketball, and transferred to Arizona his sophomore year. He then played basketball for three years at a Military Academy, which he played exceptionally. He then went to the University of Delaware, which is a division one school, and he played for them all throughout college. Just as her father had, Carly Gonzalez started playing basketball at the same young age, and started playing basketball in the first grade because her dad put her in.

Coach Lewis was an All-American track runner. But, after realizing that running track didn’t make much money he switched to playing football. “And then when I re- alized that, there’s no money in track and field like you can get sponsorships and stuff like that. But track athletes are not making any money whatsoever”, he said.

About Carly

Carly is Coach Gonzalez’s daughter and a girl’s basketball player at LASA. She is very hard working and is constantly pushed by her dad to do well. One of her goals, she said, “Next year my goal is to increase my shooting percentages by 100%. I will make every single shot that I take. I would like to be a good three point shooter because then I can do a lot better”.

Carly has experienced many things throughout her basketball journey, good and bad. When Carly moved from Austin, going to O’ Henry, a private school centered around sports to a public school in Madrid, she wasn’t challenged as much. Carly was moved to a select team, “Spain isn’t very good at basketball. So I played on a select team, my school’s team wasn’t good. I didn’t go to private school, so my school team was bad. The select team was really nice and fun. And all the girls were super hard working. So it was a really good environment for me.”, Carly said.

Over the pandemic last year, Carly developed anemia. Because she had anemia, Carly wasn’t able to play as well as she would’ve wanted to. Another thing last year that Carly faced was that her teammates in Madrid only spoke Spanish. “They all spoke Spanish while I didn’t, so it was hard to understand them”.

Regardless of all the challenges that she was faced with last year, Carly enjoyed playing basketball in Madrid last year, “I’ve played on about eight different teams, this is my ninth year playing. My team from last year was my favorite”.

Coaching Style Differences

“Be coachable, give it everything every time on the court… and have fun with your teammates. My favorite memories of basketball are not about playing. It’s about the friends I made and the fun we had.” wrote Coach Gonzalez. During practices, Coach Gonzalez encourages his players to model after his instructions and teach each other the movements while they are in line.

Coach Lewis, the football coach at LASA, thinks that you should let the player choose what they are attracted to and then help them from there. Coach Lewis thinks that you should have your kid in track either way because he said that track is the base for all sports, “So parents, I would say I would put my kids in track and field first to teach them to get them to teach to learn how to run properly, then I would put them into a specific sport”. Both him and Coach Gonzalez believe that most kids are visual learners so they will model movements for them before having their players do it.

Carly, Coach Gonzalez’s daughter and LASA girls basketball player believes that when she gives it her all she can practice like her dad wants her to, “It is really stressful, because you’re always trying to live up to expectations.” said Carly. She feels like the pressure of her dad’s expectations to be coachable can burn her out. Part of the parent-child relationship in sports is balance. He believes that, “after a certain age, you have to let someone else coach them.” Carly has had the same coach her whole life so even when they went to Madrid, she was constantly trained by her dad, a huge strength to parent to child coaching. “I don’t lose the coach because that’s still my dad.” Carly said.

Coach Gonzalez and Coach Lewis’s two coaching styles are that Coach Gonzalez thinks that you should give it your all and listen to your coach, perform to the coach’s wishes, and constantly reinforce as a parent, while Coach Lewis believes it is important to have a separate coach for your kid and give feedback afterwards to reinforce the coach’s words. because you’re just so used to hearing my voice.” Coach Lewis said. He believes that having a coach other than your parents is key to developing your trust in the feedback. “They excel better, but you have to have someone else that you can bring your kids to that they trust that they’ll listen to.” Coach Lewis said.

Coach Gonzalez believes that the parent can manage all of the coaching, “ It’s hard for me to see her as just a player and it’s hard for her to see me as just a coach. But the best part is all the time I get to spend with her regardless of basketball.” said Coach Gonzalez, expressing his relationship with his daughter Carly. While Coach Lewis believes that the parent coaching should just reinforce the ideas of the coach after the game, “And then when, say the ride home after the game, the conversation you have, what does your coach say about doing this? Well, he said I should do it like that. Honestly, I told you, you should do that.” Said Coach Lewis. He called it the ‘nag voice’, “Because I call it nag voice. It’s just no different than me telling you [to] clean up your own room, cleaning the room never gets done,

At the end of the day, you two are a team and it is important to learn from each other. While your parent doesn’t know everything, you must try your best to listen to each other and be coachable as Coach Gonzalez said, but you must also let your kid choose what they are attracted to, giving them a choice instead of choosing it for them to ensure they feel the best in it.