Hope among the devastation

Lone Veiler on over-familiarity

Even though we have a phone that blocks cold calls, some still slip through, usually when the answerphone is off. I have found myself responding to a complete stranger, who greets me by my Christian name as if we have known each other for years like Margot Lead-better in the Good Life, ‘Have we been introduced?’ As this is off script, the person on the other end usually starts to babble, or hangs up. Result. I was talking to a friend about this the other day, and we were trying to sort out when what my grandmother would have called ‘over-familiarity’, started. I don’t ever remember being called ‘Mrs’ by a cold caller, she didn’t either. So, we concluded that like everything else, it had to be the fault of the 1960s. I know it’s not particularly fashionable at the moment, but that kind of courtesy is appealing precisely because it’s so rare.

Which made me think of something that has been niggling at me for a while, that encouraging selective overfamiliarity is a really dangerous thing. I have noticed that the more matey and down with the kids the prelate, the less likely he is to have his ring of office available for the faithful, and the more likely he is to be a total autocrat beneath the avuncular veneer of smiles. We are seeing this very thing played out in the awful abuse scandals within the Church. Indeed, other scandals in the press seem to bear out the fact that the more egregious the crime, the more it’s hidden beneath a cultivated and selective bonhomie that makes the crime seem unlikely, if not impossible. This leaves the victim as the guilty party for having the audacity to speak up for himself, and the always much more powerful and influential abuser lifting up his hands in horror that he should be slandered.

There is an outrageous arrogance at work in refusing to accept responsibility for failure to acknowledge crime, in attempting its justification, or in ineffective hand-wringing apology. It comes down once again to pride. The failure of large parts of the hierarchy has to be driven for the most part by the arrogance and pride of individuals. We see where this individualism has taken Germany, not that the Church Tax is much of a motivator there, I’m sure.

Within our own parishes, we are being blessed with younger priests who are entirely orthodox, and my, aren’t they suffering for it. The most appalling thing related to me recently was from a parish in which the leading lay lights maintained that whatever Rome did, that wasn’t how they did things, effectively telling the priest where to get off. Begs the question of why they haven’t all nipped down the road to become Methodists. But, ah, hang on, it’s that power thing again. They’d have to start all over again with the Methodists. Which brings me right back to respect and over-familiarity. The power of the laity in most parishes (and mine isn’t Traditional, more’s the pity) can be hugely disproportionate. It’s not even all the laity of the parish, it’s a very small vocal minority who have been given the impression that they run it, so can also run any clergy that come their way. It’s another abuse of power, and it’s one that’s very difficult to overthrow, given these control cliques always seem to be self-perpetuating oligarchies.

'I would like to see our brave priests respected for preaching the reality of the Faith'

It’s not that I want a Jansenist-style priesthood, that couldn’t be further from the truth. I would like to see our brave priests respected for preaching the reality of the Faith rather than berated for it, because ‘that sort of stuff’ was got rid of in 1960-whatever. Well, as a post ‘whatever’ Catholic, I can see the tremendous damage the idea that we can make it up as we go along has done and is still doing. I thank God that the gates of hell shall not prevail, because there are an awful lot of folks within the Church who doing a very good job at trying to bring it down, wittingly or not. A small thing, I once witnessed the ladies of the flower ministry using the lady altar as a work bench, yes, cutting flowers, stripping leaves, wire and foam, and arranging them there. They always had used it like that, they were going to continue using it like that. Along with the ubiquitous felt banners and infantile ditties from the singing groups, this lack of reverence somehow reinforces the erroneous power of some laity in ways that their beloved Vatican II did not actually endorse. And it’s always the tiny vocal minority who dominate.

Yet am I downcast? Nope. Not at all. I see amongst the devastation, hope. The Latin Mass, and lots of hope. What we are witnessing is nothing more than what Our Lady of Good Success told us would happen. So I say, right now, bring it on. And FWIW, ‘Mrs’ works for me.