COVIDIARY 2020
Before I could actually move back in, I had to reclaim my old room. Back before the fall semester started I had given my room up so we could move my grandmother into our house. She had alzhiemers and dementia and couldn’t live alone anymore. She passed away in February, but somehow in the short amount of time she lived with us the room had managed to absorb that same smell most nursing homes have. Our neighbor is a realtor and she told us that the only way to get rid of the smell would be to paint the room with a few coats of Kilz before painting the walls. So the first few days of spring break, that was all I did. I painted a coat each day and by the end of the week I had painted the room from an overwhelming swimming pool blue to a shade called “Light French Gray”. I’m glad mom snapped a photo of me while I was painting, because it came in handy when all of the assignments for the semester changed so quickly. It still took another week and a half before I was fully able to move back in and sleep in my room because the fresh paint smell kept giving me headaches and made it hard to breathe when I was asleep. I’ve
been in college and living on my own so long that it feels weird being back in my parents house for the unforseeable future. I’m hoping the economy
opens back up so that I can find a job to save up money and get a place of my own.
Little did we know that everyone was going to “panic buy” all the toilet paper and that the stores would be sold out for weeks. Thankfully because of my Crohn’s Disease and my mom’s ulcerative colitis, we regularly are ‘ ove r s t o c k e d ’
on toilet paper. We regularly buy it in bulk so we stocked up for our usual supply at the end of spring break. I’m really glad we did because it still doesn’t seem like the stores will be getting in enough regular shipments for supplies to be
back anywhere near “normal” for at least a few more months, maybe even longer. For someone who uses the bathroom as frequently as I do, it’s kind of scary to think about. I thought I might lighten up the mood a
little bit by putting in a drawing of my cat Cheeto attacking a role of toilet paper. If you’ve never had the opportunity to watch a cat rip into a roll, I’d recommend watching it on Youtube because you would almost think the roll was going to come alive because of how fiercely they cats will attack it. Also, look up cats reactions to cucumbers. I promise you will not regret how much it makes you laugh.
That first week of spring break, I went to a bee farm to take photos of bees, buy honey and beeswax for my senior project, and learn a little bit more about them. I got to dress up in a bee suit and got a lot of amazing photos. My favorite one was this little guy (on the left) just chilling and hugging a really tall blade of grass. While Mr. Glen (the bee keeper) was taking out parts of the hive to inspect the bees I took so many photos. I thought it was funny that the bees tried to attack and fly at the camera. A few landed on it and my face net which made taking the photos a little difficult. I used the photos I took as references and imagery in my senior project. I loved doing the linocut project so much for printmaking class that I tried to recreate that look when I traced this guy in Procreate. Every piece I made for this mini magazine was made in Procreate as a way to learn the app. It’s a simplified version of Photoshop that I think is perfectly made for drawing on a tablet. One of it’s best features it that you can export your file and layers in a PSD format and switch to Photoshop if you need to do something extra to whatever you’re working on.
That weekend they started advising everyone to stay at home because it was safer and to avoid gathering in groups of ten because we couldn’t know who had the virus. Since my immune system is compromised because of my chemotherapy for my Crohn’s, I couldn’t take a chance of getting outside. I made care packages for my friends, and a few of them had Christmas presents we’d never gotten around to exchanging. I went and dropped them off in their mailboxes or on their front doors to avoid interacting with them.
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I think that the hardest part of all of this was switching to online classes. I tried it a few times before with more academically inclined classes like english, history, and art history and it never worked out for me. So when the announcement came that all universities were switching to an online format for the remainder of
the semester, I was devastated. The next day I got on my computer and tried to connect my tablet to draw in photoshop, but it had finally reached the end of it’s days and died. No matter which chords I found to
try and connect it, she wouldn’t turn on. So I broke down and bought an iPad, because I knew it would be the only tablet that could run
Photoshop or Procreate, which I’d heard was easier and better to use on the iPad. I will admit, I was reaching a point with school art that I was just so unproductive because I felt no joy anymore in making art. The tablet Is probably the best investment I’ve ever made because of how much I actually WANT to create things again. The worst thing about being chronically ill is that there are days where I just cannot leave the bed because of how bad I feel, but at least with this tablet I can lay in bed and create art again. I’m also glad to have it because as soon as we switched to online my cat decided that my computer keyboard was his new favorite place to sit.
I didn’t want to talk about this, but I feel that I need to address it. As the time for my infusion gets closer, and the medicine starts to stop working, it starts getting hard just to exist. I was almost misdiagnosed with a lot of medical issues, but I found out it’s all just another part of my Crohn’s. People might think it’s just a lot of diahrrea everytime you eat, but it’s so much more than that. For me, my vision gets more blurry, almost as if I need a new prescription for my glasses. My joints ache and swell so bad that on my worst days, even the movement of simply breathing is enough to make the joints move and bring me to tears. My skin breaks out and I swell up in random places. I have a minor blood pressure and heart problem, but Crohn’s can really exacerbate them and give me tachycardia, palpitations, extreme dizzines, and exhaust me like nothing else ever has. Speaking of exhaustion, the closer it gets to the infusion, the more it feels like my personal battery (energy levels) just cannot hold a charge. Even with a full night’s sleep (8-10 hours) I feel as if I wake up with a battery that’s on 32%. So by the
time lunch rolls around and I have to go to the bathroom, I’m at 5%. Over the years I’ve developed a tolerance for the pains and the exhaustion, but I will still usually black out after rounds in the bathroom because of the toll it takes on me. In this time I’ve had roommates, friends, and family all tell me to “just eat right and you’ll be fine.” I get in infusion every 8 weeks, but what they don’t understand is that even when I cook all my own food, and eat as organic and healthy as possible, it only marginally helps during this two weeks-ish time frame when my medicine is wearing off. They’ve told me to try drinking coffee or something with caffeine. Caffeine works during the first five weeks, but those last two weeks, it just sends my heart rate through the roof, and makes me crash faster. I hate this time so much because of how it makes me feel completely and utterly useless because I’m just existing. Sometimes it is really hard to stay positive during it, so I keep on some happy music and eat what makes me happy. Breakfast tends to give me the least amount of problems so it’s my favorite meal. My easy and quick go-to breakfast is usually a giant muffin and some tea sweetened with honey and some fruit.
A lot of people have been complaining and even protesting lockdowns and having to stay home. I normally and a home body but I love to get outside whenever possible. Logan and I would walk around the campus, the golf course, or the park and I miss that. If staying home though means that I get more chances to see him and take more walks in the future, then staying home and not going to visit is a sacrifice I will happily make. Whenever we get the chance to we video call and talk to each other, because a phone call can only convey your voice. It lacks a lot of the interaction you get used to from being around someone every day, but video at least lets you see their face as well as hear them.
As I mentioned previously, some days with Crohn’s are pretty tough. I’m really grateful for Cheeto, because it’s like he knows when I’m feeling bad. When I was going through those two weeks
he started showing up at the back door and demanding to be let in right before I’d have to run to the bathroom. When I got out he would be sitting on my chair in my room. I would go and lay down on my bed to rest a little while and he would jump up and insist on cuddling with me. I was never able to have a cat growing up because of how bad my mother’s asthma is and her allergy
to cats. Cheeto is our neighbor’s cat but he roams the neighborhood visiting everyone he thinks will give him extra food. I think we might be his favorite people because he spends majority of the entrie day with us or on our back patio. After I got my infusion and started feeling better he stopped demanding to sleep in my bed. Those last two weeks may have been tough but Cheeto made it so much easier to bear. It really made me think that one day when I have my own place I want a therapy pet.
Since school is ending soon, I can’t help but wonder what will I do to pass the time when I don’t have anymore school work? I know I’m going to have to help out around the house and do a lot of yard work, but I don’t mind doing it. Whenever I need a break from it, I’ll just go sit in my favorite rocking chair on the patio or on the swing. I hate being cooped up inside so much when I’m sick that I converted the patio into my personal office during school
hours. I moved the swing and outdoor table around so that I could put my laptop out there or just draw on my tablet. Since May is right around the corner maybe I’ll be able to participate in Mer-May for the first time, or Quarantober, or start prepping up some drawings for Inktober in a few months. I know the first thing I want to
do is catch up on my books and reach my reading goal for the year. Before all of this started I was at 10 out of 30 books I’d planned for with school in mind. Maybe I’ll even get to actually read 50 this year!