A Message from Ann V. Klotz

Always a Laurel Girl: How the Leadership of our Alumnae Helped Shape Who We Are Today

One of the joys I had not expected to be so profound in being Head of School has been to come to know and care deeply for Alumnae from across multiple generations. Over the course of my headship, I have been especially privileged to know several women whose care for and loyalty to Laurel School was made manifest over many decades. Barbara Peterson Ruhlman ’50 and Mary deConingh Emerson ‘46 were women we lost last year and at whose memorial services I was honored to speak. In early October, I had the privilege to remember another remarkable member of the Laurel School community at a celebration of her life; I share those remarks with you here:

"Mary French Conway, Laurel Class of 1946, embodied the alumnae mantra, “Always a Laurel girl.” Entering Laurel School in the Seventh Grade, she was a member of the White Team, an alto in Glee Club, a member of the Leaders Club—we have no idea what that was, but it was prescient—and was voted “social butterfly” (and as having the best legs) in the Senior Class poll!

Mary French Conway '46

“A psychology major at Vassar College, Mary joined the Laurel Board of Trustees, offering devoted and strategic leadership from 1976-1990 and from 199293, after which she was named a trustee emerita. A consummate leader—straightforward yet diplomatic—she served as both Vice President and President of the Board. As an emerita trustee, she often attended meetings until very recently, contributing to the discussions and raising important questions. She served on the development committee for decades, chaired the Distinguished Alumna Committee and was the recipient of that same honor when she was named the 2014 Distinguished Alum for her lifetime of community service and devotion to many institutions, including her beloved alma mater. Mary was also an honorary cochair of Laurel’s 125th anniversary, a celebration dimmed slightly by a global pandemic.

“I vividly remember first meeting Mary 19 years ago when I interviewed as a finalist for the position of headmistress at Laurel. Her style reminded me of my own mother— they were from a generation of women who combined high standards, no nonsense, grace and poise, as comfortable on a wilderness adventure as they were at a bridge table, whose interest in the world and in people was vast. I loved her immediately and stood up a little straighter in her presence, striving to lead Laurel in ways that were worthy of Mary’s faith in me.

Lyman Main Building Exterior Lighting

“Mary was a generous champion of Laurel School, stepping forward with her beloved Bill over and over again to help us shape Laurel’s future. One of my favorite moments was when she and Bill visited my office to inform me they were making a gift to light the school—and clean it, too. “Getting a little too dingy, a bit too Harry Potterlike,” Mary said drily. Clean the facade we did and then we illuminated it, so the building glows at night. I cannot pass One Lyman Circle in the evening without remembering Mary’s care, expressed continuously, for the school she—and so many women in her family—loved so deeply.

"Before I came to Laurel, she established an endowment for teaching excellence—such an investment in the Laurel faculty and in our school. Next came the beautiful Conway Pavilion at the Butler Campus followed by a first yurt and then four more! Her faith in our vision for the Butler Campus was buttressed by her own deep appreciation for the natural world and the wonder it inspires in children—and adults!

Conway Pavilion at Laurel's Butler Campus

Yurts at Laurel's Butler Campus

“Mary was always impeccably dressed and coiffed. She and I swapped book titles and strategies for forcing bulbs around the holidays. We shared a passion for needlepoint and for older cats. She always made a point of asking about our children—she was so proud of her family, all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren—and we shared a special love for and interest in her four Laurel granddaughters!

“On what I did not know would be our final Sunday night dinner last winter, Mary gave me a pale blue quilted satin square box that held a selection of her own gorgeous hankies—I treasure them and often wear one tucked into my watch band.

“When I learned that Mary was failing, I wept. I was not ready to say goodbye—and then I thought about Mary French Conway, her courage in raising children halfway round the world in Australia, her strong moral compass, her terrific sense of humor, her ability to manage herself in any situation. I took a deep breath and recalled the ways she had enriched our school and the privilege of being included in the circle of her love.”

I hope, for all of us, that there are Mary Conways in our lives and that we tell them, long before they leave us, what they mean to us. Women like Mary, Mary, and Barbara have changed Laurel School for the better. We are so lucky to be the beneficiaries of their love.