For Daughter, With Love!
“Everything I always wanted you to know, but couldn’t put into words.”
A daughter's guide to fulfilling her Destiny!
By Laurie D. Lundquist, LCSW-R
CONTENTS ___________________________ Introduction 1. Equality 2. Femininity 3. Emotions 4. Intuition 5. Negative Emotions 6. Positive Emotions 7. Just be You! 8. Education and Career 9. Holistic Health Care 10. Beauty 11. Communication 12. Relationships 13. Commitment 14. The Future
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Introduction Every daughter needs a guide, yet it can be those of us who love her most, who might be the least able to communicate even a Polaroid snapshot of this complex world to her. It is no wonder why many of us might try to protect her, only to find that our words and actions may not be enough. We want her to be successful throughout her entire journey. Still, it might be a path she faces which resonates with many social complexities that can be peculiarly odd, and even elusive. How should we begin to explain to her an understanding of what we know? Her steps do not have to be an illustration of missteps. She merely needs to be provided with the rationale to succeed. For Daughter, with Love is a book that should be read by everyone, and it would make a wonderful gift to all young woman, everywhere. Unlike other books of its kind, For Daughter, with Love, encompasses an unbiased, balanced and holistic approach to assist la femme in determining her rightful and true destiny. It will allow her to gain valuable insight into her own intrinsic value, while developing an understanding of the historical struggles of the feminine. It will provide her with a variety of inspiring and valuable tools, which can assist her in eliminating the mirage of any potential 1
barriers she may come to face, along her journey! A woman merely needs to untangle herself from expectations and limits, many of which are not her own. It is with an understanding of the basic steps presented in this book that a woman can learn to improve her chances to be successful at any given moment. This can lead her toward a happier and healthier life. A woman has the capabilities to become a great visionary and leader. She needs only to understand and have the opportunity to express who she really is. A woman’s true talent and her triad of holistic health, as well as her awesome beauty, must be brought out of the eclipse of its shadow; into the bright spotlight of its rightful place throughout the entire world. Humanities future mightily depends upon the proper balance between the masculine and the feminine~
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Chapter one
Equality (Be careful where you step)
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Equality There is a distinct possibility which comes within every woman’s life, when she is able to clearly see a painted picture of her past. It is this view, glistening with bated breath; a portrait of her very own reflection, where she finds herself dancing upon a chilled ballroom floor. It is a room filled with a kaleidoscope of many mirrored highlights, and each and every vibrant color and shadow she sees, portrays its own proper musical reflection. It is nothing less than breathtaking; the melody of her rightful lyrics, within their proper tune. It is by this guided imagery that a woman may come to know of her own unique and beautifully adorned spirit. It has come hither to her, from time to time, and usually she was previously able to catch a glimpse of it in the fore. She listens to the harmony, softly singing whispers to her; they ruminate fully, throughout her mind. It is not a dream, where her breath turns cold and can be seen like marshmallow smoke. It is a journal of her esprit, penned by her own long way. It calmly acquaints her to the fact that she has never, truly, and really, lived her very own life! A lesson on value: Our world was created with perfection, harmony and beauty within nature; flora 4
and fauna. Everything which has been brought forth has a wondrous purpose unto itself, and its relationship with the other. As a person, we know that we are individuals, yet we understand that we are all connected by our humanity. As solitary as we may feel within our bodies, we realize that our very own existence may depend upon the quality of the commitment of our unity with others. We need only to look out, and into nature to see that everything was truly created within certain symmetry. We are fascinated by our surroundings. We come alive when we are able to view what is outside of ourselves, dwelling within its relevance and relation to us. It is through our own perceptions that we begin to understand our relationships; not only with others, but also with anything within our world. We use our internal reasoning skills to assist us with any and all rationality. We want to make sense of what is, and what should be. We usually begin to explain our associations by creating a value and purpose for anything we view. Like an artist, we may paint a colorful picture of what we see. If it proves to be of service, or is useful to us, we may even begin to place honor upon its value. For example, the Sun, it not only gives us light and awakens us at dawn; it also brings us warmth and makes our garden grow. Due to our own identified purpose or use of 5
something, we may only wish to be present with the perceived value which we have pinpointed within it. To this day, many of us continue to worship the Sun! A child, as well, may become deeply attached to a tattered baby blanket simply for the value in the security it brings. When a certain child is outside in the hot summer Sun, they might even drag their baby blanket wherever they may go. In fact, as they walk through the blistering heat, they can even refuse to put that blanket down. They might not want to face the truth; the blanket’s intrinsic value has no real purpose in the sweltering heat of the Sun. The child is however, unknowingly out of control, while in fact, really in control. It is very possible that they may wish to never let that blanket go! What we value can also have a very powerful influence upon the values and beliefs of others. We usually take pride in what we value. If we are regarded as a leader, we might even think that what we value should be known as the law of the land! We may want what we believe is of immense value, to be of the utmost and greatest value to all. If necessary, we can firmly develop a myriad of consequences for those who do not choose to abide by our own musings. It seems that sometimes, we believe it is necessary for us to honor, and even ritualize anything of great use and purpose to us. 6
A value can be placed upon anything. What we value is usually based upon our own perceptions. We often may attempt to influence others to accept our values, especially if we are in a leadership role. Our values might also lack true understanding, and sometimes do change overtime; especially if we have learned from our mistakes, or those we have witnessed through another’s. Each one of us has the ability to identify the real intrinsic value and worth of something, but we must be standing rightfully, and have a clear and proper view. Our values or lack thereof can also be expressed toward each other. If we are not careful, they might create an imbalance in our relationships. Our own inaccuracies, misperceptions and beliefs can, and will sometimes become the fuel of plagiaristic dysfunction. There might be a time that we may want something or many things to fit into our lives like a puzzle piece fits tightly into an identified spot. Even if we must firmly press them into place, some of us may do so. This issue can create a great deal of havoc in our ability to maintain healthy and happy relationships. We must be careful, for we own nothing but ourselves! What is equality? In truth, all human beings are created of 7
flesh, are born and bleed and die. It is that simple. It makes no difference what race, culture or religion we are from, or whether we are a man, woman, disabled, elderly, young, rich or poor, etc. We may have varying abilities and talents, but we are all born free and equally. Each one of us is truly one in the same, even though we may be different. While we all should be afforded the same opportunities to be free, to develop and use our own talents, the path that we might walk, can be tumultuous; mostly due to a lack of adequate choices. Each of us may wish to reach our fullest potential, but we are only able if we are allowed, and also accept our own true intrinsic value and worth. I am also fairly certain that few of us can even reach our own most optimum value, and become selfactualized, without providing adequate opportunities to others. It is through our relationships that we learn about ourselves and our choices. To learn what with signifies, is to learn of true value of real understanding, especially that of compassion. It is through our ability to share, care, give, receive, accept, decline, respect and also love, that we come to know the true meaning of being unique, yet similar and significant.
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Equality and women: During the past fifty years, many of us have learned that we are of great value and worth. Our parents and grandparents have sacrificed immensely for us. We have envisioned a rightful understanding of equality and diversity through their very own melodies sang to us, perhaps while we were still little ones, smiling at them from our sweet smelling cradles. It may be through the knowledge of their stories of yesterday that we have been able to mold and develop our true talents; they have inspired us to prepare for achievement and success. We should be very proud! Yes, many of us have dedicated our lives to our training, to fulfill our career goals; not just for ourselves, but, perhaps in honor, and remembrance of others. It can be because of this profound understanding, reciprocated by the bonds of true love that we knowingly and rightfully understand; for we might surely have had a clear and proper view, because of them. We should be truly thankful to those who have cherished us, ever so deeply. Except, there is one very significant problem, many of us have unknowingly been misled. The truth of the matter is that many women have only been a little bit prepared, and the sacrifices made by our parents and grandparents have not been fully understood, 9
and are still ruminating, to this day. Many women continue to suffer difficulties that they did not expect. Many women have not been allowed to understand their own true intrinsic value, and may not even be aware of their real worth. Many women have not had the opportunity to become self-actualized. Unfortunately, many women are still being used, for many purposes. Women are not being treated equally in rights; many of us have merely perceived that we were. Yes, we may have been provided with certain rights, but the rights we have been given may be serving a purpose and use for someone else. Our true rights may not even have been understood by us, or they may have been somehow hidden from our view. As you begin to maneuver throughout society and attempt to use the rights you thought you had, you will usually feel subtle or outright offensive forms of inequality. There are individuals and institutions that will try to control us, and limit and define us, and our rights. Many of the problems of yesterday were really never resolved; they were merely hidden and remained covert. Some people do have a limited view from where they are standing. They believe their opinions have a rightful place within our own choices, and even within the interpretations of law. Unfortunately, they may not be 10
properly balanced to make the best of decisions, especially when they might be in a leadership role. While women are preparing themselves for potentially rewarding careers, they will undoubtedly begin to face certain difficulties within the workforce. In America, women are only paid 77 cents for every dollar paid to their male counterparts. To this day, there are those within leadership roles who have chosen to refuse us equal pay with men. Women may also be led into accepting, or choosing supportive career roles. It is well documented that women in senior level management positions are marginal and estimated at a mere 20%. Many of us will also face other problems, including stereotypes and boundary violations, even in forms of sexual harassment. Women have never truly been released from being valued within a subservient role. Equality and our history: Throughout history, what has, and has not been understood, defined and valued as being feminine did lead to a great deal of a woman’s subjugation. Even in America, we still do not have an equal rights amendment. The Equal Rights Amendment was written in 1921, by Alice Paul. She was a suffragist who assisted the underserved, specifically women. 11
Her hopes and dreams to establish laws of equal rights for us, continues to be unfulfilled, 91years later!
Throughout the globe, there are many women who are still identified as someone’s property. Some are even hidden away under complete darkness. A great deal of women continue to be segregated, deprived of their inheritance rights, unable to drive a vehicle, used as sex slaves, and even marry men who are polygamists. There is female genital mutilation, arranged marriages and selected birth abortion. The United Nations estimate that 100 million women are missing in Asia alone. These issues are shameful and they truly need to be corrected! The world news sends us hourly messages of the disregard for humanity and the environment. There is a festering, global psychological illness which can clearly be seen by many of us. Inequality, war and bullying continue. Within some of our most important historical frameworks, we may even find omissions, and an improper identification of what real value truly is, and who chooses and why. Overall, we are faced with a culmination of a worldwide imbalance between the masculine and the feminine. These issues are now also reaching directly into our own communities, throughout the world, harming our ability to 12
adequately provide for our own families. Human rights are everyone’s rights. There is no doubt whatsoever, that many men and women have suffered the consequences of being mistreated and even enslaved; some without even realizing they were actually born free. We need only to look realistically and with common sense, to see that women have been undeniably chastised for centuries, and it continues on to this day, even in America. A woman’s rightful place is to be the equal partner of her chosen mate. Equality and leadership: We all deserve and need to live within true balance. We must promote effective and efficient leaders who believe in equality and justice. A leader’s true objective is to be of service to others, and to protect us and our rights. Quality leadership skills must be developed in everyone, everywhere. A leader creates an atmosphere which is inclusive and ethical. A leader will attempt to stimulate others to work together for the betterment of everyone. A leader knows that each person has a right to live a happy, healthy, equitable, safe and peaceful life. Proper leadership is not born from mere birthright; it is birthed through a resolute understanding of responsibility. Wealth and business contacts alone do not make a great 13
leader. A rightful leader uses their power and resources to follow the melody of the music, which should be in proper tune; allowing them to dance with their partners. They have been chosen to guide us, and it is for our protection that they have been called into service. Equality and the future: As we head into to the future, let it be inspired with cardinal change. We all must be able to believe that certain injustices can and will be resolved. Each one of us needs to be identified with progress, and we must be led by those who are able to lead with true vision and purpose. We were all created equally and have great worth. We deserve to be treated fairly and with true equality. Our future must be born out of Hope and Peace. We must understand, accept and also rectify the wounds which have either directly or indirectly fallen upon us. Some of us may need to develop our ability to forgive, while others must reform a number of their past discretions, and even make proper forms of restitution. We need to use our intelligence and common sense. We must attempt to mend previous relationships once born of immeasurable value; created perhaps, by the bonds of true friendship. We must promote ourselves, each other, and all 14
of humanity. We must be willing to let go of our anger and touch upon the true emotions that lay hidden, deep within us. We must not allow any rage to turn into projections of devalue, hatred or despair; either haphazardly placed toward ourselves, or displaced upon others. We need to identify our own true value and the value of true worth within everyone else. We must also be careful of what I call blanket blaming, which can lead toward actions against a nation, a society, a culture, a religion, a race, or a gender. We must finally learn to begin to heal! Hope: To have hope, we must envision it. We must learn to be adequately prepared. We must understand who we really are and have respect for our own and others true intrinsic value. We must learn to communicate effectively, using our real emotions. We must be able to accurately identify our needs and wants; having ample choices available to us, as is all our right. It is then that we can make proper decisions, while walking upon our own path. This will lead us into establishing long lasting and healthy relationships based on true commitments. Do not underestimate 15
the power
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undercurrents that have been swirling about, throughout history, causing many people to be harmed, over and over again. These undercurrents have, all too often gone undetected or properly addressed, and therefore have remained a danger. It is time that those of us who are able to see and know, take the reins and steer ourselves, and all of humanity where it was once meant to be. Any form of oppression is a type of bullying. There have been visions of hope in the past, and now it is time once and for all, for each of us, to be set Free! There is a profound document which was created within the past half century or so, in support of the true intrinsic value and worth of all people. It is the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. It was adopted by the United Nations, General Assembly on December 10, 1948; influenced by the circumstances resulting from the Second World War. It was the incomprehensible and inhumane treatment of human beings during that time, which brought forth its conception; with the hope that no one person would ever be mistreated again. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was purposefully drafted to include 30 articles, dedicated to the inherent rights of all people on Earth. It acknowledges that all people are born free and equal. All people, it reads, are too be treated with dignity and live 16
with the inherent rights, prescribed therein. Eleanor Roosevelt, wife of Franklyn Delano Roosevelt, the 32nd president of the United States, assisted with its formulation; it was her vision. She, along with many other great men and women of her time, devoted their lives to serving others; to serving us! Eleanor Roosevelt was also a civil rights activist, author, and advocate of her husband's New Deal. She was a delegate of the United Nations, where she served as chairperson on the very committee which drafted the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. She called this profound document “The international Magna Carta of all mankind.” She is very well known throughout the world, and loved by many, even today. President Truman called her the “First Lady of the World!” It is with great dismay, that I must write here, to explain to you that the Universal Declaration of Human Rights was not accepted by some leaders in various countries throughout the world; therefore, it was merely adopted as provisional. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights has yet to be identified as a mandatory measure of true human worth; allowing for true equality and freedom for all people. It is the very foundation of all basic human freedom. Everyone must be treated with equal rights and dignity. This lack of consensus continues 17
to affect each and every one of us. Every person must be allowed the opportunity to realize their own intrinsic value and worth; it is long overdue! We all must have the inherent right to live in Peace and happiness. It is humanities right and very well may have been our original, and intended true reason and purpose for living. The Universal Declaration of Human Rights was penned by some of our greatest leaders, who attempted to be of real service. It was a true gift, created for us all. Their intentions were to protect us, and produce the true puzzle pieces; contributed from their understanding of our right to freedom. We must firmly press this document into its accurate place, requesting it be transformed into nothing less than Mandatory World Law. Its true beauty is nothing less than the essence and belief of Love giving Hope!
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About the Author
Laurie D. Lundquist, LCSW-R
Laurie is an expert, Licensed, Clinical Social Worker registered in the State of New York. She is a 1997 graduate of Fordham University, Graduate School of Social Services and also holds a specialization certificate from Fordham University in children and family services. She has over twenty years of experience in social welfare, which includes psychotherapy and administration. She is the founder and CEO of Love Gives Hope, Inc.
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To receive your free electronic copy of inspirational book of poetry: Tender Words of Love please go to the Love Gives Hope web site at: http://lovegiveshope.us/ and contact us. The Love Gives Hope Web Channel is a unique healthcare channel created for everyone to assist with human rights and health care reform. Please feel free to join the site. You may also choose to sign our petition to uphold The Universal Declaration of Human Rights; assisting others, and our mission to make it a mandatory worldwide law! Other products and services provided by Love Gives Hope, Inc., include: Our own For Daughter, With Love complete program kit, LGH Festivals, public speaking engagements, consulting, seminars and individual life coaching, note cards, pictures and paintings, as well as many future projects to promote the advancement of humanity throughout the globe. For further information, please contact: Laurie@lovegiveshope.us.
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