Dinner with the boomers

Melanie Joy Dangli

As an only child, big dinners with the family mean more than the warm homemade food made by my mom. Sure, they matter while the night is young but they will soon get cold when the elders and the children separate, with us playing tag all around the house while they talk over matters around the dinner table.

It will then fascinate me hours later when me and my younger cousins sit on the couch, tired from our little games, and the adults are still discussing passionately about the issues which at that time seem too far-fetched for my age. Before I can try to listen and understand their topics, my mom will lead me to the bathroom and help me get changed for bedtime.

That’s how things were before I soon grew out of the games and learned about politics, which crept to our bimonthly dinners like spoiled adobo.

When my uncle, a proud supporter of the president, asked me to delete the post I shared about the plight of farmers under this administration in my social media account, my Marcos loyalist father and my DDS cousin both butted in to agree. I, aware of their political stands which they also confidently share online, put down my utensils and stated that my post shall remain in my feed. If they can share redundant and misleading posts about Duterte’s achievements to boost his image then I should also be given the opportunity to repost content about the plight of farmers in the country to further raise awareness about their living conditions.

It earned me disbelieving remarks about how I know nothing because I was not there. “Iyan ba ang natutunan mo sa school?,” they asked, as if academic institutions like ours feel the need to teach its students to take a stand.

It is quite appalling to me how my relatives reacted as if they were ready to take my plate away if I said anything more against the dictators they support. When I think about it more, it puzzles me how most households like ours do not welcome critical thinking about politics and have the tendency to shove their stand to younger people without explanation. You are served with this belief; you have to eat it or starve.

The propagation of having one stand per family can be attributed to the dynamic of close family ties that Filipino households are proud of. However, I think that one should be given the liberty to choose a side on pressing matters, especially when they are at an age when they can already weigh arguments in support of a stance. “With the amount of resources already made available online about problems that plague our society, government, and our nation, it is pure apathy for the youth to stay neutral.”

Besides, wisdom should not be spoon-fed. With the amount of resources already made available online about problems that plague our society, government, and our nation, it is pure apathy for the youth to stay neutral. Fact-checking also only takes a few clicks.

Faster internet access in senior high school led me to Twitter, where I gained a better view of the world outside Lipa by joining discussions about national issues, just in time for the start of Duterte’s presidency if that’s what it’s called. Twitter is a very informative place if you follow the right sources who provide content about the status of the working class, the environment, the marginalized, the indigenous people, farmers and fishermen, and the LGBTQ+ community. I also learned a lot

about mental health more than what my daily environment can provide, as well as student activism and politics.

Along the process of learning, I get to debunk political myths that the elders in my family believed in, and it was not easy. Aside from the casual jokes from my DDS cousin who tells me I am too gullible to propaganda online (they called me a Dilawan one time which I denied since I do not like them as well), there are moments during our bonding time where they ask me my viewpoint on recent events like the vandalism in Manila, and listen to me expressing my thoughts only to twist my words against me afterwards. They end those talks with jokes to lighten up the mood they purposely spoiled.

It sounds distressing but at our age, it is normal to not have the same set of beliefs with everyone. I have friends who do not listen to the same music genres I enjoy, or do not prefer pineapples on pizza. That’s okay because in the process of growing up, we delve into the adventure of discovering the things we do or do not like and when we adjust to the fact that everyone is different. It’s part of developing maturity and respect.

To develop different political or social stands from your family will be difficult but do try hard to not let it create a huge divide with your relationship with them. Being different does not give you a free pass to become rebellious; there are many reasons to respect your parents even with your contrasting viewpoints. As for me, I try to dodge further arguments by bringing up lighter topics to the table like some anecdotes about my week or our cat.

Now if you ask me how our family dinners are like after that incident, I can tell you that the food is still delicious and we laugh more over my younger cousins’ school tales. The talk about politics remain like an elephant in the corner of the room which we casually ignore until meal time is over. For now, let us enjoy this caldereta.