PRESCHOOL

Creature comfort

Being away from home can be scar y and a lovey can help. But when are kids too old to drag around Mr. Bunny?

L I S A BROW N * knows the benefi ts of her fi ve-year-old son’s long-term relationship with his loveys: Th ey comfort Ben* in times of stress, soothe him to sleep and give him confi dence when he needs a boost. But her husband wonders if Ben is getting too old to be dragging around his beloved monkey blankie, among other stu es. A four- or five-year-old with a lovey isn’t cause for concern, says Lynne Reside, a long-time early childhood educator in B.C. She says it’s typical for children in kindergarten to still be attached to a lovey. “You might be concerned if a 10-year-old i s wa l k in g a round w it h a blankie, but from a developmental perspective, a five-yearold taking one to school isn’t a big deal,” she says.

On the whole, loveys—blankets or stuffed animals, also known as comfort objects or transitional objects—are considere d a posit ive pa r t of development.

“A comfort object helps children learn self-regulation and calming skills. The lovey helps them feel more secure during separations from parents,” says Michelle Ponti, a paediatrician in London, Ont.

This fondness for a lovey or blanket usually begins to solidify around the one-year mark, because it’s often a time of major change. You might be going back to work after parental leave, and your child could be weaning, starting daycare or spending more time with a babysitter. It’s normal for the bond with Mr. Bunny to continue well into the toddler years and beyond, and it’s common for the attachment to intensify as other changes in routine come up. (A family vacation may include new surroundings, different foods and sleeping in a strange bed, for example.) Starting preschool or JK can cause kids to cling to their loveys more than ever.

Although a preschooler’s bond with that special bunny, bear or blankie is nothing to worry about, it can pose a few challenges. For one, many teachers discourage having them in the classroom (especially during COVID). “There is a risk of toys being lost or damaged and concerns about hygiene when stuffed animals or blankets are brought to school,” says Reside, who has worked with kids (from babies up to age six) in daycares and Early Years community programs. Some kids are comfortable leaving Mr. Bunny in the car for the day or keeping their lovey stashed in a backpack. “Ben was begging to take his monkey to school when he started JK because he used to have it at daycare, but we don’t let him,” says Brown. She and her husband made the decision to restrict lovey use to couch cuddles and bedtime.

Brown’s biggest worry isn’t how often her son reaches for his monkey blankie—it’s what he does with it. “He sucks on the corner of the fabric, so we’re concerned it’s just like a thumbsucking issue,” she says. It could affect his dental health, agrees Ponti. “This almost puts the lovey in the category of soothers, which can pose a problem with the eruption of teeth,” she explains. If your child does this, consider chatting with a paedi-

D I D Y O U K N O W ?

When the pandemic began, some daycares and schools stopped allowing kids to bring toys from home inside the facility—especially plush toys. This means lovey-loving kids might not get to have their comfort item with them when away from home until the pandemic ends. Although kids can seem distraught in this type of situation, rest assured the experts say they’ll bounce back. “They may be upset for a few days and need consoling, but they’ll recover,” says Cheryl Macleod, a child psychologist located in Calgary.

atric dentist. And if he’s mouthing something that isn’t cleaned often, know that germs are inevitable.

Social embarrassment is much more common at this age than dental health issues, says Ponti. Teasing could make parting with a favourite stuffie more difficult (or easier, depending on your kid’s personality).

Parents can sometimes feel the peer pressure as well, and inadvertently transfer this onto their child. “Personally, I don’t care if my son takes the decrepit monkey to college, but my husband has said he thinks it’s ‘for babies,’” says Brown.

Don’t let your own hang-ups play too big a role. “Remove or reduce the use of a lovey only if there’s a health concern,” says Reside. “The world is still a big, new place for little kids, and they need to be allowed the time and tools to mature at their own rate.” *Names have been changed.