Leadership through Relationship

Learning how to be a better leader or communicator has always been sort of an abstract concept to me. Maybe it’s because my mind tends to think more scientifically — for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. If you Google “how to be a better leader,” the first result is “start by understanding your leadership style.” How? What are the different styles? How do I identify my personal style? It almost leads to more questions. Keep scrolling down the list and you will find “encourage creativity, serve as a role model, be passionate.” It just seems so, I don’t know, wishy-washy.

I’ve listened to leadership seminars and read leadership books (ok, maybe only one). I’ve tried. But my grasp on this concept remains tenuous. Some say that leadership is a quality that you either “have or you don’t,” but I don’t really believe that.

Regardless of what is said in any books, podcasts, motivational speeches, or webinars, I’ve decided the best type of leadership that suits me is leadership through relationships. I believe that all humans desire relationships. If we think about our deepest relationships in life — a spouse, a child, a sibling, a parent, a good friend, or a higher being — we would likely do almost anything for them. We will do everything within our control to serve that person, to keep them safe, to make them feel appreciated and vice versa.

When we have relationship with one another, we are invested in each other’s life and well-being.

So, I believe that if we work to cultivate meaningful relationships with people who may work with/for us, they will likely follow the lead because they know we are invested in their well-being.

Sure, building meaningful relationships is not easy. Maybe someone is shy or quiet. Maybe we have conflicting world views. Maybe there is just too much of an age difference for that LAZY millennial (sorry, had to go there... P.S. I am a millennial) to really understand our perspective. But have we REALLY tried to understand their perspective? Have we been persistent in our pursuit to get that quiet person to open up?

Of course, some relationships are very natural and develop more rapidly than others. After all, there is a reason why we have all heard the saying that “marriage takes work.” And I think any reader who is married can attest that this statement is true. This saying refers to a relationship that is based on deep affection, deep love, deep connection, and years of cultivation. If that relationship takes work, then why would any working relationship be any different?

I want to encourage everyone to take time to truly invest in building relationships with those around you, particularly within your working environments, and especially if you are in a position of leadership. In my opinion, no difference is too much to overcome. If we all really try, and look for the best in those around us, I bet we probably have more in common than we realize. But it takes time and intentional work to cultivate and deepen relationships over time. However, if we invest the required energy to build these relationships, I believe we can become better leaders, no matter how abstract the concept may seem.

Yours truly,

Chase Rogan, PTC President

Chase Rogan, PTC President