AVOID THESE 5 MENTORING MISTAKES TO BUILD TRULY INSPIRED TEAMS

BY WILLIAM ARRUDA

Source: Vector image is from storyset.com

MENTORING IS A PROVEN WAY TO RETAIN EMPLOYEES

As workers continue to seek greener pastures, employers continue to see droves of their talent walking out the door. Microsoft’s Work Trend Index 2021 researched more than 30,000 people across 31 countries and found that 40% intend to look for another job. According to a McKinsey study, 41% of those who leave do so because of a lack of career development. More professionals are re-evaluating their priorities and identifying what they need and want from their employers.

Microsoft executive Lani Phillips suggests that companies have undervalued mentoring as a talent management practice. She says that (when done properly) it can significantly change an employee’s engagement with their company.

Data backs this up. A 2019 survey showed that 91% of people who have a mentor are satisfied at work. This is important because according to Gallup only 20% of employees globally are actually engaged in their work. Another study revealed retention rates for people who have a mentor can be 50% higher than for those who are not mentored. Mentoring is a proven way to retain employees, and in the current war for talent, no company can grow without keeping people engaged.

Phillips took matters into her own hands to help colleagues looking for support through mentoring. During the pandemic, she noticed the volume of mentoring requests begin to grow, with talent looking to strengthen connections and seeking ways to succeed in this new world of work. She knew that taking on more mentees one-on-one was not possible within the confines of her schedule, but she felt a strong desire to help more people. She decided to modernise her approach and build a solution that scales.

Launching Modern Mentoring with Lani Phillips, a digital talk show on LinkedIn Live, Phillips now shares this wisdom globally, providing access to anyone who wants to thrive in corporate spaces. These monthly discussions allow people to participate in a live conversation and ask questions in real-time. She is now followed by thousands, providing a lifeline for those who don’t have a network of professionals who are willing to share authentically. “Mentoring has never been more important,” Phillips asserts. “Navigating our new world of work is challenging, and figuring out how to thrive is top of mind for many. Without in-person interaction, it’s a challenge to build relationships with managers, colleagues and stakeholders. And that means it’s more difficult to navigate your career.”

As a mentor and mentee herself, Phillips also knows that mentoring tactics vary widely—and so do the results. Here are her top five don’ts:

Mistake #1. Not investing your time strategically.

“One of the barriers to a robust mentoring relationship is that too many leaders are not willing to invest the time in mentoring, saying they don’t have time. The truth is that mentoring is our responsibility as a leader to coach and support others who are looking to be successful and advance their careers,” says Phillips. Time is definitely a precious commodity, but mentoring should be approached as an investment, not an expense. And this investment is wise when you look at the costs involved in recruiting and training new talent. When evaluating mentoring relationships, build in the necessary time to get it right, including preparing and supporting the mentee. Make it an important part of your job, integrated into your monthly or quarterly rhythm, and watch your personal brand soar as you build a reputation for developing talent and modernising your company’s leadership strategies.

Mistake #2. Defining mentoring too narrowly.

The traditional model for mentoring is a series of oneon-one meetings. This model has not evolved to meet employees where they are today and to take advantage of all the powerful mentoring resources available. Leaders can share mock assignments, activities, books, podcasts, videos, TED talks and articles that include powerful career advice. These digital assets represent a growing trend Phillips refers to as a digital mentoring, and that’s a role she plays with her digital talk show. Mentees should understand that development can come from a variety of sources, and a good mentor helps them form the habit of seeking professional development and inspiration on a regular basis.

Mistake #3. Winging it without a destination in mind.

Mentors need to adopt proven best practices for mentoring, using techniques like these from Yale. Mentors should start every relationship with a mentoring agreement that outlines mentee goals, duration and frequency of connection, expectations and mentee commitment. Phillips says that clarity in this initial agreement will result in better results because expectations are agreed upon up front. Checking in with one another throughout the relationship will increase success as you track progress toward goals or adjust expectations as needed.

Mistake #4. Overlooking the benefits for the mentor.

“Mentoring is a two-way street, and mentors should look at what they can learn from their mentees,” says Phillips. Look for a mentee who has experiences or skills you’d like to learn more about. Reverse mentoring can be powerful bonus for both parties. Phillips was not comfortable with social media when she started Modern Mentoring and was mentored by someone at an earlier career stage about how to boost those skills.

Mistake #5. Thinking it’s all on you.

Make it clear to mentees that it’s up to them to drive the conversation and come prepared to each meeting, share updates, report on progress toward goals, schedule meetings and send an agenda in advance to give the mentor time to think about what advice and or examples to bring to the discussion. “It’s a dialogue, not a monologue, so encourage your mentee to use time wisely so you can have time for discussion,” observes Phillips.

Mentoring can be a rewarding experience for both mentors and mentees alike, and if it’s done correctly, it’s a valuable—and efficient—way to engage and retain talent. And while you’re creating a more rewarding work experience for others, you’re creating long-term growth for your team, your company, and your personal brand.

This article was originally published in Forbes.com.

WILLIAM ARRUDA

William Arruda is the bestselling author of the definitive books on personal branding: Digital YOU, Career Distinction and Ditch. Dare. Do! And he’s the creative energy behind Reach Personal Branding and CareerBlast.TV – two groundbreaking organizations committed to expanding the visibility, availability, and value of personal branding across the globe.

Source: Vector image by jcomp on freepik.com

How to Be Less Negative – and Still Be Yourself

BY DAVID DYE

LEARNING HOW TO BE LESS NEGATIVE WILL MAKE YOU MORE EFFECTIVE

When your team or supervisor thinks of you as a negative person, you’re less likely to be invited to conversations where you would have valuable contributions to make. You’re less likely to receive recognition for your work and your odds of promotion go down. If you often hear that you’re too negative, learning how to be less negative is a critical skill to master—and fast.

That might not feel fair—after all, Eeyore was still invited to all the goings on in the Hundred Acre Woods and appreciated for his loyalty. But unless Winnie the Pooh and Tigger are on your team, shifting that perception of negativity will help you have more influence and contribute your expertise.

The good news is that there are easy shifts you can make that don’t require you to change your personality – It’s not about changing who you are. And these shifts will help you bring your best qualities to every team and conversation.

Why It’s Hard to Hear

“Don’t be so negative” can be incredibly frustrating feedback when you don’t think of yourself as negative.

I know because I’ve heard this feedback many times in my career and relationships. What made it so frustrating is that in almost every one of those circumstances, I would not have told you I was being negative.

Most of the time, from my perspective, I was engaging with an idea, answering questions I thought I’d been asked, or trying to prevent problems.

But the reality, as Marshall Goldsmith says, is that “In leadership, it doesn’t matter what we said. All that matters is what they think they heard.”

Why They Think You’re Negative

One of the most common reasons people get a ‘negative’ label is because of how they respond to ideas. See if this sounds familiar:

During a leadership meeting, your boss proposes an idea that has a shiny, attractive quality. Let’s say they want to hire a contractor because it looks like it will save money, save time, and solve a problem.

You hear the idea and immediately see three critical problems:

• The person they want to bring in to help doesn’t have the experience with a critical function • While the initial cost is lower, managing the contractor and bringing them up to speed will cost more time and money, plus any extension of the contract would cost more money than the current situation • The function is mission-critical, and the contractor has no redundancy. If they get sick, the team’s out of luck or will have to work harder to make up the difference.

What do you do?

Well, if you’re often labeled as negative, you probably say something like, “I see a couple of challenges here…” and then list them.

Are you wrong? You Might Be Right, But…

Let’s assume you are one hundred percent correct in your analysis. And you care about the outcomes, the team’s welfare, and saving the business time and money. You’re justifiably concerned about the future of the team, the business, and your customers.

You care. You’re correct. And yet, you’re called negative. Why?

The problem is that for many personality types, jumping straight to problems and challenges isn’t effective. For the “get things done” crowd, the roadblocks are frustrating—they want to see action. For the idea people, they want to explore and build on ideas, not have their creativity and energy crushed before their ideas can breathe. And for relationship people, jumping straight to problems feels harsh and disrespectful.

Roadblocks…crushed…harsh…disrespectful. What do all these words have in common?

They are negative.

And that’s how your supervisor or colleagues perceive your attempt to head off problems.

And that’s assuming you’re always correct in your analysis. Which of course, you’re not. There are often opportunities to build on ideas and explore possibilities you can miss.

How to Be Less Negative in Three Easy Shifts

The problem isn’t your analysis. The team needs you to help think through ideas and ensure the solutions you implement together are as sound as they can be.

Here are three shifts you can make in how you respond to ideas that will help you have more influence:

1. First, Affirm

This step will help your idea people feel heard and relationship people feel connected. Find something interesting, fun, or positive about the idea and say that first. For example, you might say,

• “That’s a creative way of looking at this.” • “A third party could bring a fresh perspective.” • “Wow, that’s interesting, I hadn’t looked at it that way.” • “I appreciate you thinking about how we can save money here.”

(We once worked with a very literal-minded engineer who had a reputation as a caustic teammate. As he worked to “First, Affirm” his starting effort was, “Oh, that’s an idea.” It was as much of an affirmation as he could muster when confronted with what he saw as wrong-headed thinking—but his team still appreciated the effort.)

2. Present Problems as Solutions

This step is critical. You will still share your challenges or concerns. But instead of stating them as problems, package them as solutions or opportunities.

For example, “That’s a great idea, here are three things we can do to make sure it succeeds. First, let’s ensure the contractor has experience in this technology. Then, if we can find someone at this price point without an extension penalty and who has a team to back them up, this could really work.”

Presenting your analysis as “ways to make this work” is magical. First, people’s perception totally shifts. Your concerns don’t come across as obstacles. You’re contributing to the idea’s success.

Second, when people hear what it will take to “make their idea work,” they will form their own conclusions about viability or solutions. They may propose follow-up solutions. Or, you’ll hear them say, “That’s a good point, I don’t think this is the best idea, let’s keep looking.” You didn’t negate their idea, you supported it in a way that they could do the analysis. 3. Take Your Temperature

This final shift is about managing yourself.

When I am tired, frustrated, or have lots of problems vying for attention and someone presents an idea, I am most likely to forget steps 1 and 2. Or, I may do them, but my tone is tired, whiny, or negative.

When you find yourself in a conversation about ideas or where you would typically be told you are negative, pause and “take your temperature.” How do you feel? If you’re tired, frustrated, or tied in knots with other problems, can you pause and not respond right away?

For example, “I appreciate you bringing this up—and, I am exhausted and trying to solve three things at once right now. I want to make sure I give your idea the positive attention it warrants. Can we talk tomorrow morning?”

Most people will appreciate that you cared enough to be honest and valued their suggestion enough to give it a proper hearing. Sometimes, they’ll even say, “Oh, it’s okay, I was just brainstorming and it can wait.”

Taking responsibility for your state of mind and tone when you respond will help avoid the times you’re most likely to come across as negative.

You’re not changing who you are – you’re choosing to be your most effective self with others.

A Final Note About Mental Health

These suggestions about how to be less negative are written to help if you are otherwise feeling healthy and constructive. They are not intended to address depression or other mental health challenges.

If you find yourself in a state of negative thinking where everything seems dark, gloomy, or hopeless for many weeks, I invite you to be kind to yourself and talk with a counselor or mental health professional (just as you would talk to your dentist for a persistent toothache).

This article was originally published on Let’s Grow Leaders.

DAVID DYE

David’s flair for bringing clarity to complex topics is rooted in decades of experience as an executive and elected official. His Live Leadership Development programs, Leadership Without Losing Your Soul podcast, and four books provide practical plans for human-centered leadership.