DIG THIS REAL - 14

Colleen

Brown

It’s 3:30 am. Why aren’t you listening to Canada’s next great thing?

Hip Hop Grab Bag

A – Z of Rock

How to Survive in the Modern World of Rock

by Mark Christopher Lee

Dare to Indulge in RZA’s Digital Elixir

by Evan Bleier

FREE CD Inside

MadeOutOfBabies Smite

José Gonzáles

Motörhead

www.digthisreal.com

Alex Romero

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Dig This – Relax! It’s only a recession. The Collapse of the Economy, Hip Hop Grab Bag, Wings of Change, Lagunitas Brewing celebrates 40-years of Lumpy Gravy, Tina’s Laugh Out Loud-a-Rama, Woody Allen and his Rock Opera, Lauren Piper tackles uncensoredinterviews.com and Kneebuckle starting on page 7 Features – Smite, Pablo Picker, Echofission and Made Out of Babies page 17 The Pocket Gods A-Z of Rock. Who needs an agent with advice like this? page 20 Dig In – Tofu always did have that kind of effect on me. page 22 Dear Cthulhu by Patrick Thomas. Have a dark day. page 23 Book Reviews – Save Me From Myself by Brian Welch, A Romance on Three Legs/Glenn Gould’s Obsessive Quest for The Perfect Piano by Katie Hafner, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton and me

by Pattie Boyd and Penny Junor, Creem by Robert Matheu and Brian J. Bowe. page 25 Jill of All Trades – Don’t slip on that banana peel! Lauren Piper guides you into the greatest job ever page 28 Cover Story – Colleen Brown. page 29 DTR Special Feature Story – She probably would have never guessed her term paper would show up here. Identity and Memory: Rap Music and Payada. page 31 Chica Lit Diva Rocks in this interview. Read what Sofia Quintero has to say. page 33 Of Gender & Politics and Latinization in Music, with Sofia Quintero and Sen Dog. page 34 Kulture Shock – Tip Toe through the broken pottery and subliminal messages found on rocks at the Magic Garden. page 37 Dig This Reel – New Jersey. Not all of it smells funny. Coverge of Reel Jersey Film Festival and the Weird NJ Halloween Party. page 38 Poetry Corner – One of the sanest people I know, Joseph A. Peragine lets it all out.

Page 40 Release Reviews – Alex Romero, Beware Fashionable Women, Blag’ard, Breech, Cloverleaf, Collin Herring, The Dandy Warhols, Death Cab for Cutie, Dyslextasy, Ella Blame, Futants, Gym Class Heroes, Juliana Hatfield, Lead Pipe Cinch, Liquid Roxanne, Lisa Cerbone, Lords and Barons, Marie Black, Metallica, The Montana Boys, Motu, Narayan, Nigel McTrustry, Olio, Penny Relentless, Riviera, RTX, Skywire, The Syncope Threshold, Until Further Notice, The Walkmen, Wiretree. page 41 Live Reviews – Mike Gordon, Mogwai, Brian Wilson, Benji Hughes, David Byrne, Fleet Foxes, Motorhead, The Veils, José González, Rancid and the Jazz Aspen Snow Mass 08 page 49 Kind of a Big Thing – Creative Moms: The Multi-Tasker & the Rock Star page 59 DTR Style & Fashion – Crafting necklaces good enough to eat…literally. page 60 From the Foam Finger Committee – Who says Chess players are weaklings? We beg to differ. page 62 Political Pundit page 64 DTR Short Story page 65

Cover photo of Colleen Brown by Dwayne Martineau

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This letter is being penned at a time where everything is looking bleak due to the crashed and burned economy. Today I drove down the main street of my neighborhood with a friend and was appalled at the number of shops I took advantage of, now empty, displaying “for rent” signs in their windows. There were six to be exact. I turn to my friend and mumbled, “why?” and he said, “We are in a recession and people become fearful and stay at home. Staying at home means not going out which means not spending money which means shop owners not being able to make rent. It’s that simple.” As this issue hit the press, I stopped to think about the magazines that we have lost this year big and small and this saddens me. I can sit here and debate on the magazine world losing the battle to bloggersville but I won’t waste your time. I must say that due to time and material only, DTR’s Zine Corner will be vacant this issue and will return in DTR #15. If you produce a zine that would like coverage, please send it to us! And as far as this recession is concerned, I have this to say: hogwash! My attitude is, go out there and support your local neighbor, even if it’s in small change because hiding your money in a shoebox is not going to help. Purchase bands music from them directly. Go see live shows and pay a cover. Support your local crafters and artists! So with this in mind, I ask you to read Angelica Wytch’s part 1; “The Collapse of the Economy and Who’s to Blame” article starting on page 7. Lucky for us, the second part of this article is already in the can because Angelica has been busy trying to give up her apartment complex for the easy, breezy livin’ of the good old Trailer Park. When finished reading her article, proceed to your local watering hole and spend some money drinking. Stumble home and read Lauren Piper’s insightful article on, “How to Start Your Own Business,” found on page 28. Remind yourself that all is going to turn out fine. Someday.

Funny gal, Tina Peden is launching her newest installation called, “Tina’s Laugh Out Loud-a-Rama.” Ms. Peden cracks us up and I am pretty sure she’ll get a giggle out of you too. Check out page 15. Other helpful tips can be found in Mark Christopher Lee of the Pocket Gods’ brilliant article entitled, “The Pocket Gods A-Z of Rock,” found on page 20. I am pleased as punch to also launch Evan Bleier’s latest column called, “Hip Hop Grab Bag.” This can be found on 10. Here, Evan will be reviewing all types of Hip Hop and Rap releases so feel free to send your stuff directly to him at Dig This Real if you would like to be featured in an upcoming issue. Colleen Brown is a musician that has captured our hearts with her latest release called Foot in Heart. She doesn’t mind standing in the shadow of Joni Mitchell (someone she is continuously compared to). It’s actually not a bad thing, but it’s not the whole story. Read the truth on page 29. And lastly, I am still working on my Spinetta piece. It has not been an easy labor.

In the meantime, please read the article entitled, “Identity and Memory: Rap Music and Payada,” found on page 31. This “article” actually came to me as a gift from my Argentine friend, Gabriela Benitez. Originally a college term paper written a couple of years ago, “Gabye” was aware of my obsession with the Folkloric music of Argentina and presented me with the original copy of her paper (complete with comments from her Professor). Me, being the whore that I am, edited it for your reading pleasure. Enjoy!

Issue 14 Publisher Editor-in-Chief Samantha “edie” Collins

Graphic & Creative Director Webmaster / Manager Jorge Leandro Rodrigues

DTR Staff Writers: Lauren Piper, Evan Bleier, Kevin Walsh, Malcolm Y. Knotte, Angelica Wytch, Jose Ho-Guanipa , Mike Stone, Nelson Heise, Denny, Cindy Chisvette, Nicholas Miller, Dean Massey, Christian Recca, Corey Landis, Federico Di Pasquale, Juliette Hernandez, Alexandria Kain, Alison Kooney, Jeff Hassay, Mark Christopher Lee, and Matt Giegerich

Contributing Editors: Tina Peden, Patrick Thomas, Gabriela Benitez and Diana Montanè

Photo Credits: Colleen Brown / page 29 – Eric Duffy Colleen Brown / page 30 – Dwayne Martineau The Coffin Daggers / page 39 – Malcolm Y. Knotte Mogwai / page 51 – Lauren Piper The Veils / page 54 – Kevin Walsh

244 Fifth Avenue Suite 29037 New York, NY 10001-7604 www.digthisreal.com It’s tough being me.

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Gabye during a serious Maté session!

The Collapse of the Economy and Who’s To Blame Part 1 - By Angelica Wytch

In my cantankerous outlook, I am completely disgusted and dismayed by the illegal and predatory activities of the financial industry. Sit back kids and get an education of the way of the financial world when it comes to consumer debt and how the greed of the financial giants and political leaders have caused the current collapses in the financial industry and how these giants have drained the American public dry causing a complete economic disaster.

Musicians beware! I am sure you have seen all the offers for Musician’s Friend. This is target marketing to convince you to buy that new Gibson or a state-of-the-art XPC Pro but think again because despite the marketing tactic’s, the Musician’s Friend is just like all the other predators out there. They are NOT your friend.

The credit line is sponsored by Household Bank, just another contributor to the collapse of the economy that preys upon lower and middle income households.

You’ve hear it on the news - the collapse of Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. Put me in charge as the CEO and I can’t do any worse running these companies into the ground but pay me a multi-million dollar bonus to reward that failure! I would surely be outed because I actually follow the laws that are already in place and would support to eliminate modern day serfdom.

The cascading effects of these bad decision makers with the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, closely followed by the sale of financial giant Merrill Lynch is on the culmination of deceit and greed.

Housing Bubble: Predatory Lending is a very liberal statement we have all heard about on the news with regard to the fall of the mortgage industry. It is a term used to define the abusive and decep-

tive lending practices that grew out of control resulting in an increased number of foreclosures across the United States. The banks used these practices with underwriting deficiencies granting homeowner loans to individuals who did not have the ability to repay them. Many of the loans initiated were done so by steering the consumer into making bad financial decisions.

Real Estate Agents are one of the front-runners of the problem, followed by the lenders, the property assessors and everyone else that stands to gain a profit from the sale of a property. This is big business. A real estate agent can earn up to $18,000 commission on a $300,000 house. It is in their best interest to sell high and quickly. Then the realtor has their friendly arsenal of surveyors, title agents, lenders, credit repair companies and anything else that a consumer would need to buy that property NOW. Another trick the bank’s have been known to do is create hyper-inflation of the property values. South of New Jersey’s Driscoll Bridge home prices start in the neighborhood of $300,000 inland and as much a $1.2 million as you move closer to the beach. We are not talking mansions. I am talking your average re-sell single family home. What the banks do is sell the mortgage to a third party which frees up the capital to extend refinance mortgages, home repair mortgages, and other lines of credit associated with the home as much as 40% more than the home’s actual value. The end result, the rich get richer – the poor get stuck as a serf to the bank of their choice working round the clock to pay the King.

I received an email from a person (who didn’t want to list their name) and I have no way of verifying the validity of their story based upon information I have read but the things I have witnessed, I believe 100% of this woman’s story. The email relayed a story of a

middle class family that has a home in Georgia in a new construction community. A few years later, a job relocation occurred and the family moved to Northern Florida. Unable to sell the Georgia home, they took the word of their real estate agent and went into a, “rent to own,” deal. When the renters moved out and the house went back on the market for sale, the family struggled to make mortgage payments on both houses. The lender recommended a credit card and to take cash advances to pay the mortgage payment and then just pay the minimum balance. The family followed the banker’s advice and because they came close to their credit line by using all this credit, they suddenly became “high risk.” All their cards used had interest rate hikes up to 30%. The story went on to financial strife, inability to file bankruptcy and the countless sleepless nights, the harassing bill collector calls.

The bottom line is that the consumer took the advice of the banker and it was BAD advice. The consumer has no recourse because they didn’t get it in writing.

If some screwball tells you not to pay a bill before you discontinue payments - GET IT IN WRITING. Even if you have it in writing and you are following the creditor’s instructions: READ ON, because you are still being screwed!

Credit Card Contracts – What the #*&@ Harvard Law School’s, Elizabeth Warren who teaches Contract Law is beyond words in the documentary, “Maxed Out,” as well as during interviews with FrontLine she shared her

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insight based upon conversations she had with major credit card companies and industry leaders.

Ms. Warren expressed her disappointment in the system because she felt the average consumer was going to get ripped off. The premise of a contract is that BOTH parties understand the contract. In Ms. Warren’s opinion, the disclosure pamphlets are so confusing she couldn’t even figure out the terms and conditions. She also went into detail about how specifically creditors target niche markets. Banks admit they love folks who have recently filed bankruptcy and admit it is not in the consumer’s best interest. Ms. Warren explains the lenders know two things about that bankrupt consumer. They know that the consumer has filed bankruptcy and can not file again. They also know that the consumer has a “taste for credit” and will accept the high risk interest rates and make minimum payments for the rest of their life achieving the greatest profits for the bank.

The banks also like to target college students.

These kids have their first taste of freedom and being on their own. More than likely, a parent or guardian will bail out the student to pay off the student’s debt. From the bank’s perspective, they are educating new consumers on how to spend.

Discovercard is all over inviting students to open an account. You will find them on campus, through U-Promise and once you fill out your FAFSA you’ll get emails from all the major companies out there. Even college advisors will push these contracts on these students! Talk about confusing terms and conditions! Your 0% APR, is only for 6 months then it jumps to 14.99%. But that isn’t exactly the end of it, because if the prime plus 9.99% as published in the Wall Street Journal is higher than 14.99%, your interest will automatically default to that unknown amount. The unknown is an excellent way to create a financial plan… NOT! But wait! If you decide you need a cash advance, you are charged a 3% courtesy charge and a minimum of $5 (no maximum). But wait there’s more! You now have separate interest terms and conditions applied to cash advances charging 23.99% on that balance. All the payments you do make is not in your best interest but theirs. They are applying it to the lowest interest bearing balance first to get the most money out of you. And what happens if you are a day late with your payment? Your interest automatically defaults to 30.99% interest.

If you have a small balance under $250, you only incur a $19 late fee. If you are over, that late fee is $39. If you go over the limit – even if it is a result of their fees, $15 is charged if your total account balance is under $500 and $39 if over $500. I wonder how many accounts are opened with less than a $500 limit? This is obviously not in the best interest of the bank. Now if an issue ever occurs and you feel your rights

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have been violated, you have waived your right to have your claim resolved in a court of law.

Yes, you have agreed to their terms and you don’t have a leg to stand on. Oh yeah, and what about that, “Cash Back,” offer for 3%? Read the fine print. It is e-certificates in $20 increments that can ONLY be used at their “Bonus Partner” websites for merchandise. The first $1,500 of utilized credit earns ¼% cash back. Your second $1,500 earns you ½% cash back. Any purchases made in wholesale clubs, discount stores, or their affiliates (which are unknown) will only earn you ¼% no matter how much the card is used. Even the MBA’s don’t understand that one, so don’t feel down.

So suppose you are a Rocket Scientist that can actually figure out this shopping e-certificate scam. You forfeit all benefits immediately if you are late, over limit, or have any additional infraction for two consecutive months.

As an adult considering returning to school, I completed a FAFSA as required. Not only am I hounded by every “dating site” now encouraging me to register to meet the man or woman of my dreams depending on which way I swing (how politically correct of these assholes), I have been shocked with the countless telephone solicitations, email solicitations and “special student offers” for loans, credit cards, anywhere from $7,500 up to $40,000. Interest rates range anywhere from 9% up to 32% - not one of which is a fixed interest rate.

Next time you see the jokers on campus giving away a FREE tote bag, a case of beer, or a pizza – do yourself a favor and keep on walking. Or do what I do. Complete the form under the names, ‘Micky Mouse,’ or ‘Scooby Doo.’ Heck, I even completed one as ‘A. Frylock.’

A Call for Reform or “Students Beware!”

The whole educational system needs revision protecting students! In looking at various schools both on-line and brick/mortar, I have been shocked at the actions and conduct of every last admissions counselor and financial aid representative. Every counselor has been guilty of sugar coating the process. When you register for the, “first class,” you are then entering into a student/institution contract. Until you sign up for that first class, you are not obligated financially to the institution.

The schools are guilty of rushing the admission process and registering you for a first class to get you started. One of the tactics used is even as miniscule as a “1 credit” overview of the school and the tools available to you. This is a standard with most on-line or distance education. The schools are pressuring students to register for a class and enter into a contract

Let’s start at the beginning of the modern day collapse back to the 80’s, when the bank’s were de-regulated. This in and of itself was not necessarily bad if it remained within the original scope. The original intent was to help protect consumers by an elimination of geographical restrictions allowing mergers with higher merge rates to eliminate less stable banks. This was pitched to the lawmakers as a way to allow inter-state banking providing consumers as a result, a promised lower net interest rate and higher concentration. When the system got goat f*cked and started spiraling downward out of control, South Dakota Senator Bill Jacklow exercised the 1978 Supreme Court, “Marquette Ruling.” This Pandora’s Box changed usury laws that were designed to protect consumers. This decision changed the market for credit card loans by expanding the availability of credit allowing the banks to charge increased fees to higher risk consumers.

What Jacklow did was invite a nearly bankrupt Citibank Credit Cards (CEO Walter Risen) to come to Sioux Falls, South Dakota where they would be able to charge a whopping 18% rate on high risk consumers in exchange for incorporating there. This was a good decision for the State of South Dakota for the short term, because the bank was now suddenly willing to do business saving the State from bankruptcy and a double digit inflation with residents unable to even get loans for housing, their cattle ranches or anything else.

So now you know why all those credit card statements have a Sioux Falls PO Box, but what about all those bank’s in Delaware? The state of Delaware says “Hey”, South Dakota is getting all this cash…. Let’s do the same thing. These copycats sweetened the pot by allowing 21% interest.

So now you have your secondary front of predators establishing themselves in Wilmington.

Let’s fast forward to today! These financial giants from South Dakota and Delaware are responsible for funding 92% of all campaign dollars.

The lobbyists fighting the “pro-bank” legislation are carefully selected and hired by the financial industry.

They are brilliant in strategically hiring friends, family members, and close associates of public officials in an effort to coerce rulings in the financial industry’s favor.

I have talked to not only musicians affected by unfair banking practices, but have delved in with consumers from all walks of life. Everyone is affected the same and it is fascinating to watch the niche target campaigns that encourage consumer debt.

Every campaign whether they are targeting musicians, college students, families, or sports fans, the messages are the same, “Spend now, Pay later.”

Because of those being bought off by the financial industry by providing 92% of all campaign dollars, your average consumer has no rights unless they are independently wealthy and can hire a lawyer at a retainer to initiate a law suit. The dirty dealing in Washington has made the Federal Trade Commission pass the buck to the Comptroller of Currency. All you will ever receive from the FTC is a pamphlet and even as of late, you don’t get that.

You are directed to the FTC website that educates consumers on their rights. Education is valuable, and I applaud the efforts of education by the government, BUT - the system fails to enforce the laws already in place making them useless. The illegal activity is overlooked, new breeds of consumer fraud and extortion are on the rise targeting consumers who can least afford it.

PEOPLE beware! This is La Cosa Nostra of the new millennium.

BEFORE financial aid determinations are made and keep pressuring students to private loans and credit cards to pay out of pocket expenses. The private student loans I reviewed such as with Wachovia, PNC and Citibank all had a minimum loan amount starting at $5,000 up to $20,000 per year and revolving interest rates ranging from 11% to 15%. Federally Funded and managed financial aid such as the Stafford Loans and Pell Grants do not cover 100% of the costs. Some school’s that claim 100% of tuition is covered by financial aid, really is not. You still have additional hidden fees and out of pocket expenses. Even one school I spoke to stated financial aid recipients were locked into a slower learning process extending a 2 ½ - 3 plan with most schools to a 7-8 year plan before graduation. By taking all this money, you are looking at $700 - $800 a month or MORE in repayments upon graduation. You want to pay down any loans while you are still in school to reduce the accumulating interest. You can easily set up to pay “interest only” which will earn you a lower interest rate overall but you can pay what you can afford to reduce the principal. Figure 25% of your entire borrow amount will be added to the amount due as a result of fees, interest, etc. Most students going through financial aid offices are not independently wealthy and obviously their families are not prepared to pay cash up front for their child’s education.

And now a public service announcement!

Admissions counselors push to collect an initial down payment/application fee, typically under $100 to get an emotional and economic commitment from the student. They are guilty by omission of not providing the student a clear picture of their financial obligations and total expenses. They use this unfair and predatory practices as a platform to coerce a contract without the student being fully aware of the financial implications and obligations.

I am on a tight budget and have held off completing my degree until I can be assured I am able to afford the out of pocket expenses. I have enough stress from my McJob and the last thing I need while taking on the added stress of college is financial stress and worry about how I am going to pay the bills. I received an email when I asked what the deadline was for enrollment in the next semester it stated, “The problem is getting everything in place for your financial aid in time to start class. The only out of pocket expenses you will have is the $75 application fee if you get it done this week. Otherwise, your out of pocket will include another $59.95 (plus tax and shipping) for your orientation books and materials. At this point, the bottom line is $75, standing between you and

Recently I was on a relocation tour through my regular Joe Job and toured some new construction at a upscale community called Bulle Rock in Maryland. Politely, I got a lay of the land and realized there is no way I could relocate to Maryland unless someone gave me enough money to cause me to reconsider. Not only was the area not set up for the influx of roughly 20,000 residents who would be relocating with the job, but the single person does not fit into the community plan. I had more than one agent pushing luxury townhomes that were too big for a single person that start at $350,000.

I was pressured to make a $1,000 deposit and given the social pressure stating if I wanted to advance my career I needed to, “think ahead,” and be surrounded by the, “right people”. They informed me that bad credit=no credit=no problem, because they had lenders that do them, “favors!” Let’s not even start with the layout and impracticality of the space. Many of my co-workers who are planning to move, allowing them to follow their jobs were standing in line with a checkbook to sign on the dotted line! Knowing their salaries, it frightens me. The state of the mortgage industry has not changed predatory lending.

getting in school. If you are seeking new opportunities, what do you think it would do for your resume, with all the experience and intelligence, and Actively pursuing Bachelor’s Degree with _________________? An enhancement. I am sure you would agree.”

This is no guarantee that financial aid is in place or accepted. This does not give a financial plan. And believe me there were other emails where they promised a “scholarship” but they wouldn’t put it in writing… why? It was another trick to get me into a contract of fiscal responsibility. What this does is take the “fear” of having to spend an additional $59.95 plus tax and shipping. I actually like this particular school and I am waiting to attend this private University because of the merit of the program so I have refrained from responding to this email asking, “where is it that the cost of an entire college education is just $75?” All of these schools are taking Federally funded dollars. Why isn’t the University financial department obligated to assist helping the student get a clear financial plan for their entire degree program in place so they are not going to have the financial stress down the road that may ultimately harm their grades and/or cause them to drop out. The idea of education is to complete it and target your given career. It does take an investment into education, but I think the predatory practices right from the start are doing more harm than good to a student’s future. What college students don’t realize is that these people who claim to be providing for your future are stealing your future. If you have bad credit, you can’t get a good job, you may be outed from working in the very field you are attending school to break into, you have other people making decisions on how you are going to live and you have no control over that. I will continue with more on the credit reporting agencies in part two of this article.

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By Evan Bleier

RZA as Bobby Digital Digi Snacks

Koch Records

When they were featured on Chappelle’s Show, the fictitious WuTang Financial Group (composed of RZA and GZA) advised potential investors to “diversify your bonds.” With the third installment of the Bobby Digital series founding Wu-Tang Clan member and producer extraordinaire, RZA, has done just that.

From the very first track, Digi Snacks establishes itself as an album that is clearly part of the overall storyline and mindset of the Bobby Digital landscape. The gritty, pounding drums and tasty, piano explosions that make up much of the earlier “Bobby Digital” sound are there and they sound as precise and raw as ever. However there is a warmth in the sound quality that was not there before. This new feeling is most likely derived from live instruments (and musicians) being used on many of the tracks instead of the more traditional synthesizer instrumentation. But hip-hop purists fear not. There are more than enough cool samples and catchy hooks to remind the listener that although the album’s sound may be eclectic, it is undoubtedly a rap CD.

Vibrant, colorful beats dominate the background, propelling the songs forward into uncharted terrain that even RZA himself probably did not anticipate himself exploring. Guest appearances by live band Stone Mecca, producer/MC David Banner, guitarist John Frusciante, and a host of others, add some dexterity and flair to songs that were already solid to begin with. These additions provide depth and take the album in a more orchestrated and musically advanced direction than on the two previous “Digital” albums. Only RZA himself might know how or why this metamorphosis came about, but hopefully most fans will appreciate that it did, and recognize that Digi Snacks is a progression for RZA as an artist.

The words are not to be outdone by the beats; there is also a substantial amount of growth in the lyrical content. Sure there is the usual (at times they seem obligatory) amount of raps about cash, money, and pimp-hoe relations, but there is also a lot of lyrical reflection on deeper things.

A futuristic, echoing introduction explains how a “digital elixir” changes Bobby into a “powerful being that struggles with the good and evil within himself by saving the lives of others.” The narrator explains that this is a “classic tale of the dangers and benefits of drugs,” a chorus of cryptic chucks and giggles erupts, and the album’s first song, “Long Time Coming”, is off and running. Immediately RZA aka Bobby, challenges our ability to take in concepts and ideas with the flow: The great mind / Surpass space and time / Seven plains of energy / Interlace combine / Five conscious stages / Change your polarity/ Seek mental clarity.

Similarly themed lyrics spew all over a beat that is drizzled with shimmering, chiming keyboards and thick with the foreboding ring of church bells. Who exactly they toll for is unclear.

RZA asks on “Drama”: Why you fear the devil as a grown man / Why you not out there trying to make your own plan / See we are a victim of a situation where a wicked man / separated the nation / and got us killing off one another / black on black, brother on brother. These sort of multi-layered lyrics are prevalent throughout the record and their intended meanings are definitely open to interpretation. One is never quite sure if the stories and observations on the record are referring to the world inhabited by Bobby Digital or the one in which RZA, and the rest of us, live. This ambiguity gives the tone and feel of much of the album a fantastic quality; the line between what is real and what is imaginary is blurred and, ultimately, unimportant. The stories and music intertwine succinctly, making the result both highly interesting and enjoyable to listen to.

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Top Left The Warning

A.D. Records

Top Left define themselves as: “a movement of like minds. Six individuals enslaved by creativity. To the death.” In other words, these guys are serious about their art. When you listen to their first album, The Warning, it shows.

This album jumps off quickly with hard, forceful beats that are layered with a nice mix of percussion, scratching, guitar and a variety of other effects and distortions. One track, “Cans and Rhymes”, opens with a sample of a spray paint can being shook up and then morphs into an elevator muzak influenced, turntablecovered shuffle. The rhymes don’t start off any lighter. With six MCs, Top Left can pack a lot of words and a lot of thoughts into a single song, with each voice getting their opportunity to drop some stylized knowledge. Like rapid fire artillery, these dudes just keep hitting and hitting, deftly driving home their verses and points as individuals and then busting out the choruses tight and together.

Based out of the Pacific Northwest (Get it? Top Left) this underground seem like they may be getting themselves ready to take the next step. It’s about time that music coming out of the Seattle area isn’t just relegated to doom, gloom and rain complaints; they do shout out Kurt Cobain though, keeping it real. Lots of voice distortion too which isn’t used nearly enough in my opinion. If you have a second check them out online at http://thetopleft.com/index.php.

Skillz

The Million Dollar Backpack

Koch Records

On his latest release The Million Dollar Backpack, Virginia-based MC, Skillz, does stay true to his theme of being “underground” and continues to rhyme about subjects that most rappers don’t touch on, but at some points he comes perilously close to sounding like the “pop” hip-hop that he seems so vehemently against. The album has its bright spots; raps about things like turning down Venus Williams because he wants to date Serena or trying to hang out with Rosario Dawson and ending up in the tabloids (From the song “My Phone”) are funny and imaginable and most of the beats that back up the rhymes are crisp, clean and really help to emphasize and give clarity to the lyrics.

It just seems that far too much of the Skillz’s raps are about how great he is and how everyone knows it and even though he hasn’t gotten his props yet as much as he would like, that’s cool with him.

With song titles like “Where I Been, “Don’t Act Like You Don’t Know” “Sick,” “Yeah Ya Know It,” Skillz offers us way more than one tirade about how skilled, great and, you guessed it, sick he is compared to other rappers out there. It’s not really the quality of the words that is in question here; his style does have a lot more range than what you usually hear. The real issue is that if he is so much better than everyone else then he should do less talking about it and more being about it. On “Crazy World” you can see the potential: The richest country in the world/ Seem like we’re always lacking/ Somebody call Oprah/ Tell her I’m coming over/ you got the money honey / won’t you spend it where you’re s’posed ta?/ Don’t bring no babies here/ It’s too shady here/ Yeah, It’s easy living but shit, it’s kinda crazy here.. If Skillz could keep up this level of style and substance throughout the album, instead of lapsing into generic lines and topics from time to time, The Million Dollar Backpack would be much more consistent and much better. As is, it is still a cool disc with some catchy hooks and occasional flashes of cerebral, lyrical expertise.

Quick Hits Shep Self-Titled

Independent Release

Shep’s sound is a chilled out collaboration between lyricist Shep and beat maker DJ Stilz. These two native Canadians (those pesky Canadians are at it again) have tapped into smooth, old school vibe that was to be so pervasive in classic Hip-Hop but has declined in recent years. Slowed down, simple beats accompany lyrics that cover the classic subjects: girls, partying, freedom from oppression and the love of music. Many of the songs have soulful tone to them that is only augmented by the tasteful use of keys and backing vocals. Good work by our friends up North.

Twilight Sentinels Meanwhile

Dong Thongbo Music

Here ‘s just a little appetizer: I need to keep fighting, keep writing, put something on wax that has height but is still enlightened / See they’re stuck on bitches and cars and crap / While I moved to Hip-Hop son, you’re stuck on rap – from “Move You.” Meanwhile is an album that reminds you of where hip-hop has been and where it has the potential to go. With some old school flair, new school lyrics and classic head-nodding beats, the Twilight Sentinels have a sound reminiscent of early J-5 and keep the choruses catchy and coming throughout. Some honky-tonk piano and harmonica samples even manage to creep their way into the background of a few of the tracks with cool, tasteful sounds continuously being prevalent in the mix. Hope that this St Louis based ensemble is gonna be bursting through the arch and coming to a venue near you.

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Wings of Change

Who’s to say that you are less of a musician if you are not the lead singer or better yet, the lead guitarist, “with mystic?” In our time, some great skin players made their mark. Whether it be tights wearing Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull or Classical madman Jean-Pierre Rampal, we mustn’t forget - the Irish have also been hip to the fact that once it’s pulled out, a good time is not far behind. However, there are many types of flutes out there and quite frankly, it takes a whole lot more than just blowing. Nothing is as haunting or healing as Native American Flute. Its lonesome, hopeful sound is a language onto its own, preserving legends and tales. Northern American Indian tribes also use the flute for dance as well as ceremonies and festivals. But anyway you look at it – listening to the sounds of Native flute, like Robert Windpony’s, Wings of Change cd, and you can cancel that massage appointment pronto. Wings of Change is a, “dedication to leadership that emphasizes open communication first and force only as a last resort…and let’s all work together to create green prosperity…” Amongst the Native American design motif of eagle feathers found on this cd jacket, there is a bold, “Yes We Will 2008” circular sticker design all jazzed up in red, white and blue. The cd itself has wonderful, introspective tunes all carrying positive titles like: “Hope,” “Yes We Will,” “Seeing Both Sides,” and “Unity.” Windpony’s spirited style has graced stages and compact discs and has the ability to instantly transport you. And now, through one of his websites, www.GrandCanyonFlutes.com, you too can learn how to play flute in just one day. The site is completely thorough, allowing you to become familiar with the pitch and sounds of different flutes. The site also offers deep discount starter kits (prices start at $75.00) and the aforementioned in-dept online lessons. - edie

Lagunitas Brewing Co. celebrates the 40th Anniversary of Frank Zappa and the Mothers of Invention’s, We’re Only In It For The Money I figured it would only be fitting to review Lagunitas Brewing Company’s new Frank Zappa Ale, brewed in celebration of the 40th Anniversary of the release of, We’re Only In It For The Money, while downing a few pints of the stuff and listening to the album in its entirety. So, you’ll have to forgive me if things start to get a little off-balance by the end of this column. It’s a Belgian style triple brewed to an 8.2% alcohol content, but hey - sometimes you have to take one (or two) for the team.

Like the album, the beer isn’t really what it seems to be at first taste. Fruity flavors are strong up front and seem to be pear and/or apricot, followed by a swift, spicy and hoppy kick in the tonsils. The beer is preparing you for what’s to come later, sort of like Zappa’s lyrics in, “Who Needs the Peace Corps?” (“I’ll stay a week and get the crabs and take a bus back home/I’m really just a phony but forgive me ‘cause I’m stoned.”) As it warms up, flavors are intensely more prominent and bounce across your taste buds, inciting Zappa’s tape manipulations 12

panning side to side.

The beer also has a nice hazy amber color with tons of carbonation. Zappa’s album satirized 1960s popular culture, particularly the Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band.

I’m not sure the beer is going to challenge any other prominent Belgian style ales like Chimay or Ommegang, but that’s probably not the point. It’s a strong, crisp and tasty beer that by the time the album hits the tune, “Nasal Retentive Calliope Music,” (which sounds like exactly what it says) has damn near mangled my brain. From the end of the reprise to, “What’s the Ugliest Part of Your Body,” there is some nutty disintegration of sounds into, “Mother People,” and I only slightly regret deciding to drink two pints (the album is only about 40 minutes long).

Right about in the middle of Zappa’s insane tape experiments during the last tune, “The Chrome Plated Megaphone of Destiny,” I find myself wanting to turn it off. Then everybody in the song breaks into laughter, likely laughing at my lack of tolerance for both the sounds and the alcohol content, so I leave it on. As the sounds fade, I lie comatose on my couch, partially pondering my existence but more so feeling fairly drunk and wondering where I might get another one of these beers. It’s a fine tribute to Zappa, one that everyone should enjoy with an open mind and the music up loud. www.lagunitas.com – Kevin Walsh

Woody Allen Directs an Opera

In downtown Los Angeles, not in New York City (as one would expect), Woody Allen made his operatic directorial debut with Puccini’s “Gianni Schicchi,” the third of “Il Trittico’s” trilogy of one act operas. I know little about opera but my obsession with both music and all things Woody Allen is many years deep. These obsessions came together in the documentary, “Wild Man Blues,” about Allen’s touring Dixieland Jazz band and with his world tour with cet band, but this latest incarnation seems to be the purist distillation of music’s timeless transformative beauty and Allen’s comedic skills and laser-focused attention to detail.

The music found in this opera was fast paced along with bits of slow, serious beauty that shone brighter when sandwiched in between giddy slapstick and crude jokes. The plot is simple: a rich family member dies leaving every penny to the Church, so the family conspire to find and revise the Will with help from a questionable rake named Gianni Schicchi. The comedy comes in sight gags, plot twists and witty dialogue at the center of which is Schicchi, who’s very name has a playfully absurd sound. The pronunciation is close to “Johnny Ski-key” and the actors seemed to revel in the cutting explosiveness of the sounds. Without getting too technical “Ski-key” utilizes a phonetic ejective consonant; Two quick “K!” sounds are spat out. One would assume that opera would lend itself best to elongating vowels and doing R. Kelly style flo-o-ourishes, which is why constantly saying “Johnny Ski-key” comes as a jarring contrast. Point is, it sounds funny.

The set was sepia and gray with a dense jungle of dozens upon dozens of gray clothes hanging on clotheslines. One could see Allen’s hand all over the staging: the show began with a mock list of Italian credits projected on a screen as if we were about to see some black and white 1940’s Italian screwball comedy (which we kind of were), each actor performed a series of gaffs and sight gags that could have come right out of an early Allen movie (think “Love and Death” mixed with “Sleeper”) and touches of un-ironic beauty like when Schicchi’s daughter Lauretta pleads for her father to help the family pull off the con so that she can marry the man she loves in the Opera’s most famous aria, “O Mio Babbino Caro.” Allen allows a few moments like this to exist outside of comedy, in a simple beauty that for a few moments halted the sight gags and transcended comedy. It reminded me of the moment in, “Stardust Memories,” when the lead character thinks he is going to die and the movie seems to pause while he recollects a moment of his life that makes him want to live, simply seeing the woman that he loves sitting on a bed, looking at him while his favorite music plays hypnotically in the background. In a film riddled with one-liners and occasional wackiness, this was Allen lifting the curtain, revealing Oz’s wizardry and something of his deep Bergman-esque soul.

In preparation for the Opera, Allen had said, “I have no idea what I am doing but incompetence has never prevented me from plunging in with enthusiasm.” I applaud the enthusiasm and it seems that Mark Swed of the Los Angeles Times does as well. He called Allen’s Schicchi, “a production of genius.” Perhaps a filmed version of the production will surface allowing those that missed out on the rare treat a chance to see what they missed.

- Jeff Hassay

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As a music lover, I will be the first to admit that musicians can have a mystery to them, something that makes you admire them from a distance, through their music, springing ideas in our heads about what they could be like in real life. Due to this, a listener can feel like they will never truly “know” an artist when in reality they are just like us, with thoughts and feelings and flaws.

Though we may recognize these things in their music, it’s hard to think about the songs we relate to and connect it with the people who actually wrote it. In one way, that is all we do, but in another it creates a barrier between artists and listener because we feel like they did something we never could.

Brooklyn-based company, Uncensored Interview breaks down this barrier in a very ‘millennium’ way allowing artists and listeners to share their thoughts and a connection to be made on more than just a purely musical level. The folks at Uncensored Interview conduct candid interviews with artists and bands from all over and cover multiple topics from politics to humor to sex. They chop up the interviews into little one to two minute clips and categorize them accordingly. The members of the website can then reply to the video clips with their own or write blog-posts about the videos. This forum gives comfort in knowing that our favorite musicians can be just as silly/stupid/intelligent as we are.

Kaki King discusses politics and Jesus and how going to Catholic school made her think that liking cool things was weird, but really everyone else was just, “cracked out on Jesus.” Jamie Stewart of Xiu Xiu finally tells us exactly how to pronounce their name, shares

his disappointment in Obama, and has several other clips from the inside of a van. Au Revoir Simone sings a capella and shares the details that the song was about a cross dressing boyfriend.

This website contains artists of all different styles of music sharing their views and thoughts on everything under the sun. There is something here for everyone, no matter how much they hate one band or love another. It’s always interesting to hear how anyone, especially people who write admirable music, feels about the word, “cocksucker” (Check out the video “Sondre Lerche: Say It Loud”).

The best part is that if you agree or disagree with what an artist said, you can make a video and share. For example someone in a crazy mask responded to Shootyz Groove’s video about how all Christians are reformed Protestant Jews. It was funny. Uncensored Interview has really touched on something that hasn’t been put out there in the Internet world. Sure there are blogs and youtube videos and you can either read about a band or watch a band, but you can never interact with them in the way that Uncensored Interview provides. It is a great concept to finally break down illusions about musicians and convey them in a normal light; allowing their fans to see them as more than just the songs on their I-pods. So thanks, Uncensored Interview! How else would we see members of Stars sharing and singing their favorite jingles? Check out at www.uncensoredinterview.com. - Lauren Piper

Tracking down the mastermind behind the elusive musician known as “Kneebuckle,” is no easy task. When finally finding his website (www.kneebucklemusic.com), I was proven I had taken yet, another wrong turn. But amidst the brightly colored motif of his website homepage and after I snuck past the “multi-genre music for the multi media,” pitch, I was home free. Why such confusion?

Because I received this uneventful looking cd in the mail, complete with a handwritten note on it; “Thanks Dig This Real!” showcasing only 4 songs. The man behind all this is really Kyle Hildenbrand, a multi-faceted and multi-instrumentalist musician who also runs Kneebuckle Music, a company that offers original music composed by, you guessed it, Hildenbrand himself. And on his website, there are compositions available for just about anything; your next Film, TV, Jingle or Video Game project. The amazing factor here is the huge variety of genres and styles that Hildenbrand is offering. For someone who loves to sit around all day and listen to music, this could only be very dangerous for me, because here I can travel through Hildenbrand’s soundbytes like press kits. He has a Latin category which is then broken down into sub-categories: Bossa Nova, Rhumba, Merenque.

There’s also Bluegrass, Cartoons and Movie Trailers. The list goes on and on. Obviously Hildenbrand has a thing for writing compositions. He has also set up Kneebuckle Music for full ownership of its publishing, thus allowing for fast, easy, no hassle licensing. But this still doesn’t explain the heart-felt, lo-fi, lowbrow 4-song demo I received. “I was asked to do different styles of music over the years for different projects. The Latin music was for a friend’s Ballroom Dancing video. Then someone else needed something sounding techno.

I decided to lump it all together and license it out. The cd I sent you are songs that mean the most to me personally. The other music that is posted on my website was written in response to requests from people needing music and it ended up as a library. My music is available for sale on myspace/kneebuckle. The songs on the 4-song demo were written before I did my website,” said Hildenbrand. The 4-song demo is quickly becoming my favorite collection due to its breezy sensibility and totally additive hooks. This demo also showcases Hildenbrand’s unique singing voice (at first I thought he was jacking up on helium but this isn’t the case). Don’t get me wrong, he actually sounds natural within his vocal pitch, even as the rolling piano track gives way to his lyric, “you were fucking around/you were fucking around…” The second track, “My Mom,” has Hildenbrand lollygagging around the strange lyric, “My mom always said he hit his head.” Slight and tipsy, the rest of the songs are a bit unearthed and much different from the shiney ones for licensing. I wouldn’t be surprised if Hildenbrand wakes up in the morning, notebook full of compositions. Both musical projects seem to keep him busy. “I recently scored three short animated films and a documentary on Afghanistan,” he added. “Another project I did was add a guitar track to the new Skates Nation release on the song,” Static.” The singer/ songwriter music I sent you is really what resonates most with me. I have about five to seven other tracks to finish,” stated Hildenbrand.

With this piece of news, I truly can’t wait to hear his compositions completely fleshed out. Sonically he crafts songs that are fascinating, yet humbly, Hildenbrand had this to conclude: “Thanks for reviewing my demo. All I’m ever wanting showed up on a DVD release of the 2nd season of Roswell…” Check out at www.kneebucklemusic.com - edie

Kneebuckle

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To hell with Hallmark. Send ‘em one of these.

Haiku 1: Birthday Happy Birthday is Half-eaten cake from your kids World’s best weight watchers

What Does it Mean in the Cubicle World?

Cubicle Knowledge for Dummies & Officeworkers

In the Cubicle World, bosses and co-workers often say one thing to you but mean something completely different or they simply do things that you don’t understand. This column will reveal the true meaning behind the spoken words of your cubiclemates and let you know what they are really saying. It will also provide answers to questions on the perplexing things that employees of the Cubicle World do that you don’t understand.

CUBICLE QUESTION: What does it mean when an employer tells you that you didn’t get the job that you applied for but they will keep your resume on file for one year?

KNOWLEDGEABLE’S ANSWER: It means two things. First, you’ll never hear from the bastards again, so start sending out your resume to other companies asap and second if you call back three days later, your resume WON’T be on file (they lied!) because it was purged right after you received the email that you didn’t get the job that you applied for but they will keep your resume on file for one year.

What does it mean when

you start receiving repeated compliments from your boss on your job performance after the company has been audited?

Unfortunately, this can mean several things but it generally means that the company can’t afford to give you a monetary raise at this time but they also can’t afford for you to quit either thus the “free compliments” which kills two birds with one stone.

What does it mean when one of your co-workers doesn’t knock on the door before coming into your office?

It means that they are a rude and inconsiderate person who will one day be your boss but not before you have personally spent 500 long hours training them, so try not to get pissed off at them when they barge into your office unannounced because soon they will hold your career in their hands.

What does it mean when the boss’ secretary promises that she won’t tell on you when she sees you on her lunch break coming out of an afternoon matinee when you called in sick that morning?

It all depends on if the boss’ secretary likes or dislikes you.

Haiku 2: Friendship A true friend tells you Your breath stinks and cheers you on All in one day’s time

Haiku 3: Birthday Birthday’s are for Those Who want to celebrate Life Crow’s Feet and Hair Loss

Haiku 4: Friendship Friends will fight sometimes Make up all the time because Menstrual Cycles end

Haiku 5: Thank You Thank God for High Tea Low-Heeled Sling Back Jimmy Choos Husbands with Visa

Haiku 6: Birthday Birthday Wishes come in Small, Medium, and Large Boxes for your Bills 15

It’s that time of the year again - join or dodge gym memberships? That is the real question. Take this test – and see how well you are going to do in the coming year…

Ridiculous Excuses for Not Exercising or Is There Any Legitimate Excuse for Not Exercising?

1. I absolutely cannot exercise because: A) I have an I.Q. of 175, and it wouldn’t be fair to have brains and brawn B) I don’t want to look like Lara Flynn Boyle C) I don’t want to perpetuate a Hollywood stereotype that young girls have to live up to D) I want to look like a “real” man 2. I don’t have to exercise because: A) I’m already thin and if I exercise there won’t be anything left of me B) I have superior metabolism C) I only chew one tin of tobacco per day D) I already have lots of energy 3. My idea of “Warming Up” before a workout is to: A) Go lie under an electric blanket for 15 minutes B) Go sit in front of a fireplace with a good book for 15 minutes C) Go down to the local bar and order a “Boilermaker” and nurse it for 15 minutes D) Go into the kitchen and make a cup of hot chocolate topped off with marshmallows and 15 different kinds of cookies 4. My favorite weight-loss reality tv show is: A) The Biggest Loser B) Celebrity Fit Club C) Survivor D) Work Out 5. I exercise everyday by: A) Walking 12 feet to my mailbox to retrieve the mail B) Skipping 3 blocks down to the local Dunkin’ Donuts C) Jumping up 2 times to use the bathroom during the commercial breaks on the six-o’clock news D) Twirling round and round in my swivel chair for 30 seconds 6. Organic Foods: A) Are made from the organs of humans and animals B) Make a person poop every 3 hours C) Are only eaten by people who have squirrels as pets D) Taste bland and are indigestible 16

7. The best fashion/exercise moment in history is: A) Richard Simmons sweatin’ to the oldies in Daisy-Duke short-shorts B) Jennifer Beals dancing like she’s never danced before in a torn sweatshirt in the movie, Flashdance C) Anna Nicole Smith prancing around in spandex shorts three sizes too small on her reality TV show, The Anna Nicole Show D) Olivia Newton-John sauntering around in the “Physical” video wearing a headband, leotard & leg warmers 8. I can’t afford to exercise because: A) the Air Jordan tennis shoes I need cost $150 B) I have to pay for my kid’s college education in 18 years, so I have to start saving up NOW C) I am a member of a one-income family D) Let’s face it, Band-aids ain’t cheap

Answers: all A’s – jog around the block once a day but tell people you did the NYC Marathan. All B’s – Join Bally’s and befriend an account rep. Use some of the answers found here as excuses on why you can’t pay your monthly membership fee. All C’s – see everyday as an exercise; climb the stairs while flexing two bags of groceries/use stockings with holes in them for resistant bands. All D’s – convince yourself that you are allergic to sweat. Then convince your doctor.

Tina “Knowledgeable” Peden is a 38 year old black female freelance writer in New Hampshire, who loves writing as much as making people laugh.

Smite

“In the beginning there were a few roaches, cigarette butts, and empty beer cans…”Indie rock darlings, Smite, proves that you don’t need a party. You just need their soundtrack. Playing some Smite tunes in a dark, empty room will easily transform any wasteful, naught feelings into pure house party ecstasy. Based in New York, the band consists of Kevin Brady, guitar/vocals, Tyler Fenio, guitar/vocals and Patrick Galligan on drums/vocals and whether they are performing in crisp, white threads or stripped down to bathing suits, their music can be liken to just that – a freefall of genres that make up the greatest of experimental pop. A Smite song may have the grumblings of a Pixies’ tune or it may have a jazz feel to it. Some have an acoustic think-y pull while others give way to a New Wave bounce. And it all works.

Maybe it has something to do with the nerdy vocals of Brady and Fenio, both whom not only share the mic but girlfriends as well.

Wobbly and earnest sounding aside, the results are the same. It’s one big crazy time. Smite formed when Brady and Tyler, childhood friends met Galligan in New York in 2004. Citing, “any free chemicals,” as the main musical influence, Fenio and Brady would also start Devious Semantics, a record label with past releases from We Are Scientists as well as Smite material. The band is also hip to the medium of video, which can be viewed on their myspace page. Fenio has this to say: “On our last record, Endless Nightmare, we were lucky enough to collaborate with some great directors. On the song, “JFK 1963,” we allowed the words to dictate what was happening in each shot, using stock footage from the ‘60’s. The director, Rodrigo Lopresti worked alongside with the band to create a time scan in which we took footage from a parade in Manhattan (where Broadway was shut down from Houston to Canal Street). Smite dressed as JFK, Jackie O., and the Secret Service agents with the help of friends. I acted as Lee Harvey Oswald preparing for the assassination of John F. Kennedy in the video. For “Old Song (aka You have a Way),” director Colin Morvan used the set of Michelle Gondry for the movie, “Be Kind Rewind,” to reinvent a story where the three band members were each in love with the same girl. The story unfolds where the young girl realizes that she holds the power of the band, while denying marriage to one member, accepting oral sex while driving a Volkswagen bug from another, and then accepting money for sex from the third.” And where the music is concerned, I was curious on whether the creativity just happen or does the band push itself to reach levels of such clever uniqueness? Fenio explained: “For the last couple of records the band has had to really push to create something new and interesting to us.

In our most recent record, there has been a sense of us not thinking at all about what we are doing and channeling the psychic wave to pure evil.” And is it hard to live up to the madmen/genius hype? “It comes so naturally. Plus we can recite the Satanic Bible backwards,” Fenio said. For a band that lists their best asset as the, “ability to drink on tour,” I asked about their sound and who critics are quick to liken Smite to, Fenio claims, “Velvet Underground, Neil Young, Ween, Elliot Smith, Built to Spill, Ted Leo, Ass Ponys.” In the meantime, Devious Semantics will be releasing a Smite single in 2009 (title is yet to be determined). Stuff is also available via myspace, itunes,cdbaby, Amie Street. Check it out now. Myspace.com/smitemusic - edie 17

Pablo Picker

Pablo Picker’s new album, 171 Nails Counted Then Dropped, is a soothing, emotional and dynamic journey through the mind of an exceptional song writer. The songs on this disc feature Picker’s brooding, Thom Yorke-style vocals, with the quiet background support of acoustic guitars, piano, drums and an occasional cello or horn.

“I Won’t Be Alone,” and, “Statues,” are impressive displays of dynamic, lyrical, and songwriting prowess. Tension rises and falls with Picker’s eerie voice; a trumpet sounds a solitary note, a cello rests oscillating on a minor third and cymbal hits ring well-timed throughout. The chords of the piano hang suspended, muddy and reverberated as beautiful keyboard melodies tangle, twist and entrance – subtly complimenting his vocal expertise.

This cd also features a number of riveting, experimental pieces. Short and explorative, “Suenos,” “Allegro MCMLXXiii,” and the title track, “171 nails counted then dropped,” add invaluable nuance and feel to the album. Although they do not feature vocals, these songs offer a rich sonic experience; they are riddled with explorative sonic touches and eerie, meaningful sound-bites. Heavily reminiscent of Clint Mansell’s soundtrack to, Requiem for a Dream, these short songs compliment the narrative created by Picker’s lyrical content and quietly emphasize the motif suggested by the album’s title.

Tension. Tension. Tension. Tension, and release.

Mesemerizing, poetic and haunting – this cd is a must hear from a smart, brooding songwriter. Picker’s sound is mature, his lyrics are moving and his musical taste is impeccable. Therapeutic and introspective, “171 Nails Counted Then Dropped” will leave you eager for more.

Picker has performed on the famous streets of Harvard Square (Boston), connecting with travelers and visitors from around the world. From there he moved into clubs and lounges around Boston, NYC and San Francisco.

After a couple of years performing, interest from record labels and positive press soon followed. But feeling somewhat disconnected with the industry and more interested in his cultural heritage, Picker chose to stop everything in favor for searching for a stronger and more honest voice. He eventually would return home to write, record and travel to his family’s home country of Chile, South America. Now, almost two years later, he is back with a strong and powerful second album entitled, 171 Nails Counted Then Dropped. For more information please visit www.pablopicker.com - Matt Giegerich

Echofission

Echofission’s latest release, The Straights, offers 13 tracks dishing something for everyone. Kind of like the band itself – you can find Echofission performing at hot spot Mexicali Blues (where this editor has been seen numerous times all tequila-ed out) while opening for New Riders of the Purple Sage or performing on summer booze cruises around the island of Manhattan as well as their personal faves – music festivals. Aside from gigging, the band has experienced success with The Straights with college radio and favorable press. And what’s not to like? Having worked with many talented musicians, engineers and producers on their releases, (Bruce A. Miller who has worked with Aerosmith, Miles Davis, Dave Mathews Band, mastered the 2006 Amplify The Sun release. Lo Faber, of God Street Wine mastered the band’s debut album. Mod, who’s worked with Elefant, Radio4, Teenbeaters, Ape Fight completed The Straights) it’s no surprise that Echofission has been acquiring media attention as well as new fans, while delighting the old ones. Each song is flavored differently from the next, allowing the listener to spread out the Echofission soundscape. Compositions are perfectly tight as they leak from the stereo speakers, painting pictures of the oh-so familiar stuff of what life is made up of. Echofission is John Rango, guitar/vocals, Gebhardt Zurburg, guitar/vocals, Jon Abate, drums and Mike Jaskewicz on bass/vocals. For more info, check out www.echofission.com. -edie

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Made Out of Babies Brooklyn Hardcore aka BKHC

You know Julie Christmas (lead singer) really is my kind of girl.

She’s smart, has long black hair, is extremely sexy, and, oh did I forget to mention, knows how to pull off a mean hardcore scream. Not exactly the girl next door, but I was never really into that. All kidding aside, this Julliard trained vocalist can sing like a siren if she wants to, but also knows how to channel a deep inner rage, which she prefers to display much more often. Her voice has earned her the reputation of being, “Metal’s most riveting front-woman”. Enough of my fantasizing, though. What really matters is Christmas is the lead singer of New York City’s quickly rising post-hardcore band, Made Out of Babies. While Made Out of Babies has a female lead singer, Made Out of Babies is not a chick band in any sense of the word. Citing influences as diverse as Jesus Lizard, Black Sabbath, Ella Fitzgerald, Hank Williams and Mozart, Made Out of Babies personifies the word eclectic when it comes to hardcore music. It is thus apt that they hail from the equally diverse and eclectic borough of Brooklyn, New York. They’ve built up quite a following in the past few years and when you get to see their live per-

formances, you’ll understand why. Their live shows are intense to say the least; just like their music.

After releasing their debut Trophy in 2005 on Neurot Records, they quickly gained a following in the hardcore scene both in the New York and tri-state area and across the country as well. Their music struck a chord with reviewers and audiences again the very next year with their sophomore effort Coward. Working with famed rock producer, Steve Albini, most famous for his work with Nirvana and Bush, Made Out of Babies continued to evolve their hardcore sound into something distinct yet still, as many have described them, punishing. Just look at the cover art for Coward, a picture of a young boy with the side of his face scraped and bruised, and you’ll understand how they’ve gotten that reputation.

The image immediately shocked many, but it was actually a picture of their drummer, Matthew Egan, who was hit by a car when he was a child. And if you pop the CD in your stereo you’ll notice the music is equally as punishing.

After releasing Coward the band took a short break then quickly bounced back and signed with The End Records

where they’ve recently released their latest body of work, The Ruiner. The Ruiner can be described in many ways. Haunting, beautiful, melodic, and skull crushing are just a few ways to describe the 2008 LP. Cooker, the first track on the disc introduces you to Made Out of Babies with a swift kick in the face and jagged wall of noise that never relents, save for during the breakdowns where Christmas gets to showcase her screaming-turn-singing-turn-screaming-once-again talents.

The album continues to deliver crushing hit after hit as you progress through the disc. The only break, if you can even call it that, is the dysphoric record Stranger, though the band still makes sure to infuse its unique brand of angst, despair and rage into the track. Made Out of Babies are anything but babies now that they have a few albums under their belts and they’re sounding better and better as they continue to mature.

Grab a copy of the album at www.madeoutofbabies.com.

– Jose Ho-Guanipa

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S D O G T E K C O P THE A-Z OF ROCK

HOW TO SURVIVE IN THE MODERN WORLD OF ROCK A = Amp - Short for amplifier, which guitars are played through.

A = A&R - Short for Artist & Repertoire – these are the guys and gals from the record companies who sign up and then look after artists. You want them to come and see your gig and you need to know their names so you can send them a demo CD along with a wacky gift such as 20 left handed drawing pins – in order to get their attention / annoy them.

A = Advance - Sounds exciting as it’s the money the record company “Advance” you to record your first album when they sign you up. The hotter you are the bigger the Advance will be. But don’t get too excited as it’s only an advance and you have to pay it back to the record company from future royalties and sales - so maybe just go for a crate of lager instead of champagne at the launch party!

B = Bottom End - Recording/sound term referring to the Bass levels, i.e. the really low frequency notes, and is nothing to with J- Lo. C = Crowd Surfing - When someone stage dives into the audience and then “surfs” over the crowd below - quite fun but only really suitable at large gigs or festivals – could be quite dangerous trying it at your local bar on a wet Tuesday night in December.

D = Demo - Short for demonstration tape – will mostly now be recorded onto CD or mp3 file, but is essentially a recording of your band which you will then send out to A & R at record companies and other people in the music biz. Industry types usually say to limit them to two or three of your best songs with the strongest one first and that the quality of the recording doesn’t matter. Truth is they won’t listen to them anyway unless they already know you and if it sounded like your mate from the chip shop recorded it in his deep fat fryer they’ll bin it along with the other 6,000 they received that day. However, there is hope as The Pocket Gods found when John Peel from Radio 1 contacted us 18 months after we sent him a demo. Be patient and stick to your guns.

D = Died - Usually relating to a really bad gig where the band have metaphorically “died” on stage – happens to us all sometimes - usu20

ally in a pub called the Slaughtered Lamb on the outskirts of nowhere. It is also known as a “Deliverance” moment.

D = Dressing Room - Tis good to dream – one day you’ll play a gig and there’ll be a proper dressing room with carpet, a shower and a fridge full of beer – but for now you’ll have to wash your pits in and get changed in the cubicles with the hoi polloi.

E = Encore - After a good gig the audience might cheer you to do another song. Resist the power of the encore if you can - it is hard I know but it is always good, and cool, to leave them wanting more.

F = Flyers - These are bit of paper with details of your bands gig (see below) and usually allow those in possession of one to get in to the gig at a reduced rate. Don’t spend a lot of money on these as you’ll give out hundreds but only a handful will actually turn up.

G = Gig - A gig is the meat and drink of a band’s existence. The live performance at a venue is key. It’s OK playing like a God in the rehearsal studio but you have to be able to cut it live in front of an audience. This is not about musical or technical talent, it’s about attitude and the desire to make it – you have to put on a performance and make every one in the audience wish they were like you.

G = Groupie - Usually sad cases, male or female, who fancy a band member and follow them around cos they haven’t got anything better to do with their lives. Probably the famous groupie is/was Pamela Des Barres whose rock n roll bed post included notches

by Jim Morrison, Gram Parsons, Jimi Hendrix and Led Zeppelin. If you can’t beat them

sleep with them.

G = Gear - Not illicit substances but a generic term for all your musical equipment that you’ll be lugging around at rush hour on a tube (subway) on a way to a gig with five people there.

H = Hangover - When on tour you’ll have to learn how to cope and play every night despite having an even worse hangover than the day before. This is usually where bands get hooked into the uppers and downers cycle.

Also not helped by sleeping next to snoring drummer in the back of a 1979 Ford Transit van.

I = Image - This is important as being in a band you are essentially selling a “package” to the public. Music and fashion have always been linked but the music industry is now putting less emphasis on looks and more on the substance of the music.

J = Jombal - Another Pocket Gods phrase meaning a crazy weird and totally strange but fun experience – see PG songs “Jombal Bells” and “Jombal Party”.

K = Kay - This is a special magical chord invented by The Pocket Gods. After serving your rock and roll apprenticeship of many years, one day you may be given the secrets to access the chord of K. L = Lip Sync - Modern terminology for miming – still used by boy and girl bands who can’t sing in tune. They justify the use of it as they say they would be unable to dance and sing at the same time. Muffin the Mule could.

M = Manager - Sounds a bit scary but at some stage in your burgeoning musical career you will need to get a manager who will represent your commercial and musical interests to the outside world. You’ll need one as hopefully you’ll be too busy writing and recording albums, and touring them around the world, and won’t have time to be at every record company or business meeting. Don’t forget that although it’s fun at the moment, playing Battle Of the Bands gigs at your local pub to your mates, if you do want to make it in music you have realise that this is a business just like any other and someone will have to

do the things that will help you make a living and help maintain all those swimming pools.

M = Mosh - Also Moshpit and Moshtastic basically a primitive form of dancing for people with long hair. The Moshpit is also one of the most dangerous habitats on earth – enter at your own peril and don’t forget the first rule of Moshpit is that there are no rules!

M = Mixy Disco - This is the bit in the recording studio with the faders and knobs where the engineer / producer will make you sound “Quite Good”.

N = Never give up - Keep believing in what you do and if you enjoy it don’t let anyone put you off. You’ll get bad reviews from time to time but don’t forget that music is a subjective art form and they’ll always be someone out there, apart from your mum, who’ll love what you’re doing.

If all else fails, go to Belgium.

O = One Louder - Rock term first used in the film “Spinal Tap” [see below] means that when everything’s at 10 and you need that little extra bite you can always go to 11 – that’s “one louder”.

P = Primadonna - A term relating to female singers who can get a bit stroppy and demanding from time to time.

Prime example is a certain American diva who for instance insists that any room that she enters must be painted pink three months beforehand. I kid yee not.

P = Publishing (PRS/ASCAP) - The songwriters in the band will earn more money than those that just play in the band - just look at Noel Gallagher from Oasis. As well as getting revenue from record sales / downloads the songwriters will get paid royalties from whenever their song is played in public or on radio and TV. A publishing company can collect these royalties for you and promote your songs to TV and film companies, and they may even advance you some money from future royalties. However, they will take a cut, 20 per cent and upwards, and you can always join PRS (Performing Rights Society) who will collect the song writing royalties for you and they only take a small cut for their costs.

Q = “Quite Good” - That’s Pocket Gods speak for fan-bloomin-tastic!

R = Rider - A definite must for all touring bands, the Rider contains all the goodies that the band will need to keep them sustained for the evening’s performance, i.e. lots of beer and junk food and it’s also traditional to ask for something quite bizarre like yellow smarties or a Patagonian Sausage Roll.

R = Roadie - Not to be confused with Groupie, as one is more hygienic than the other.

These are the chaps and chapesses who drive you to gigs and set up all your heavy equipment for you. Say thank you nicely and always carry an air freshener.

S = Sex - Rock and Roll at the end of the day is all about the S word - just don’t tell your parents who only did it once anyway.

S = Spinal Tap - The greatest rockumentary ever made and essential viewing for anyone starting out in a band – will make sure you stay away from the pitfalls of taking yourself too seriously – to quote: “there’s a fine line between clever and stupid”.

V = Valve Amp - “Proper” guitar amps have old fashioned valves in them which give them a warm fuzzy sound – as opposed to new “solid state” or digital amps - which although are 100 times more reliable, sound a bit plastic.

W = Website - Now essential for any aspiring band that wants to get its music “out there”.

Technology has given power back to the creators of music and has made it possible for you to get fans all over the world.

S = Sound check - Scariest part of a gig – this is when you have to get to a venue at a ridiculously early time to set up and check your sound. This is so that all the levels can be set up for you to sound great to all the punters later. Carried out by a Sound Engineer [see below]. Whatever you do it is not cool to say “Test 1, 2” into the microphone.

S = Sound Engineer - These are the people at venues who can make or break you. They say you’re only as good as your sound and these guys and gals are the ones that twiddle the knobs and faders – so treat them with respect and maybe even buy them a drink. It will be the best £3.00 you’ll ever spend.

T = Toppermost of the Poppermost - John Lennon used to say to the rest of the Beatles before every gig “Where’re we going guys” they’d reply “To The Toppermost of the Poppermost”.

X = Xplicit lyrics I’m definitely no Puritan when it comes to the colourful use of language in songs (e.g. see pocket gods Christmas song for 2007). However be warned, as radio stations will still not play any songs with swearing in it and as you need as much Xposure as possible, either cut the choice language altogether or do a separate radio friendly mix. It maybe selling out but at the end of the day if you’re serious about your music you’re gonna have to pay the rent somehow.

Y= Youth - As The Who once sang “ I hope I die before I get old”, rock and roll used to be the preserve of the rebellious youth. But with old chaps like Neil Young, Paul Weller, and let’s not forget the Boss himself still knockin’ and rockin’ around, this is not the case anymore. Although it still tends to be the young who are at the cutting edge of new music developing and reinventing the existing genres of pop and rock.

T = Transit - Traditional mode of transport for Roadie [see above] who will take three days to drive you to gigs in Scotland whilst you’re in the back sitting on uncomfortable amps swigging bottles of supermarket cider.

U = Unique - At the moment there are 200,000 bands wanting to sound like The Arctic Monkeys or Coldplay. If you want to make it, develop your own unique sound, don’t imitate and make everyone else want to be the new you.

Z = Zine - Independent Music Zines are a good way of getting your band reviewed and gain some exposure.

There are many good ones around-just have a search on the Internet.

Z = ZZZZZ - If you’ve made it this far well done! Now be gone and start rockin’! by Mark Christopher Lee 21

What do you get when you cross a cookbook with a couple of foodloving indie fans? You get one hundred and ninety two pages of cooking tips, handy food hints and recipes from your favorite indie artists in, Lost in the Super Market, An indie Rock Cookbook (Soft Skull Press) by Kay Bozich Owens and Lynn Owens.

The book itself has rather humble beginnings say Kay and Lynn. They simply wrote to bands and asked them for their favorite recipes. There were no grand plans, no book contract, no idea how it would work out. They didn’t know any of the bands personally or have any insider connections, they just thought they would give it a go… And what a go they gave with the likes of Sonic youth, Fugazi and Dresden dolls all responding to the cause, contributing their favorite recipes and at the same time renewing Kay and Lynn’s faith in, “the Punk Rock.”

‘Lost’ reads like a band itinerary with an, “Opening act,” a “World tour,” and a “Cheap eats, cheap thrills,” section to name a few. Each recipe is commented on by the corresponding band and in the end you get a fine meal, some insight into what your favorite rockers eat and a good old tale of how and why the meal came about.

The first few pages give you a table of contents, an introduction and a pantry staples section on pg. 20 with a list of the kitchen essentials like, olive oil, vinegar and pasta, to get you going.

There’s a, “Food philosophies,” section where Ben Wallers from Country Teasers gives us some insight on making boarding school porridge, a “Touring casualties and discoveries,” section where Camilla Wynne from Sunset Rubdown explains

the hazards of the convenience store dinner and Lou Watts from Chumbawumba explains how food defines our communities. The recipe I am including here is from the, “Opening act, “ section. It is Ian’s (from New York noise rockers, Japanther) “sundried tomato Hummus:”

“Menu Slang” was most popular in diners from the 1920’s through to the 1970’s in the days before restaurant chains.

Like most forms of slang, the origins of diner menu slang are lost in the midst of time but there is evidence that it may have been used by African American waiters as early as the 1870’s and 1880’s as a colorful way of remembering things. Chef extraordinaire Crazy Ads and I dug deep for some good ol’ menu slang and came up with quite a variety, like this egg- menu slang below:

“Oh me” - over easy

“Oh my” - over medium

“Wrecked” – scrambled

“2-1” - two eggs, one plate

“3-1” - three eggs, one plate

“6-2” - six eggs, two plates.

With sandwiches you either get, “dressed” - with tomato lettuce or mayon-

naise, or “naked,” which means nothing. In French cooking they say, “Etouffe” (eh–tofay) meaning smothered and my favorite, “Lagniappe” (lan-yap) which means. ”a little extra.”

Crazy Ads says that in the kitchens he’s worked gravy is called, “Jus,” customers are called, “Covers,” orders are called “Checks,” and heat rash is called, “Chef’s butt.” He also says that some menu slang is unrepeatable and deals with the sexual orientation and family history of your fellow workers…. and if you can speak fluent kitchen Spanish it can get very colorful…..

A “Finger wok” is a microwave, a “drop” is when you put something in the fryer, ”The bus just arrived,” means a table of ten just turned up and, “Hot soup,” means, a hot guy or girl just walked into the kitchen. “Slinging hot, “ is carrying a

22

Ingredients - 2 cans chickpeas (include ¾ of the water from one can) - Enough Tahini to cover the blades of the blender - 3 to 4 whole cloves garlic - Lemon juice - Ground Cumin seed (a generous palm full) - Sundried tomatoes Preparation

Blend well and served with Pitas that you burn over the open flame of the stove… Quick easy and Deeelicious! (…

And even better washed down with Red Headed Sluts on page 42 by Ben from Country Teasers.)

Another favorite anytime snack is the Gummi Salad by Jimmy from Elf Power found on page 44. Jimmy even lists his favorite gummis from bear, worm and hamburger to Wrench, bottle opener and Ferrari, but it doesn’t stop there. Kay and Lynn have thought of it all with a bread section, a “Grill section,” a “Rock and roll dinner party,” section, a “Christmas section,” a “Battle of the Bands,” section and my favorite – the, “Dessert Island List,” with some of the yummiest, rockinest desserts from Bunny Brains, Windsor for the Derby and Stellastarr.

Here’s the quick and easy Tofu recipe from Xiu Xiu found on pg.72

Ingredients - Tofu Preparation 1. Take a cold block of Tofu from out of the fridge.

2. Wash it off.

3. Eat it with a fork.

4. Stare out the window.

Lost in the Supermarket, is the perfect gift for your indie fan, your justleaving-home teenager or starving artist friend. It has it all; recipes, a shopping list and a glimpse into some good ol’ affordable meals brought to you by your favorite indie rockers and no matter how vegan - (Tomato salad pg. 126) how carnivorous (Estilo Sonora pg. 125) or how diverse (Fly soup pg. 187) your taste buds may be, you’re gonna find something in this cook book that’s going to hit home.

Now bust out the fry pan, pop on your favorite rockin’ classic and get cooking. hot fry pan with food in it, “The Pit,” is the dishwashing area, “On wheels, “ means to go and, “In the weeds” is when you’re slammed with tickets.“Flying,” means right away, “burnt,” “killed,” or “kill it,” means well done. “Sprite, no ice” means vodka, and “Green bottle,” means a good beer (the better beer usually comes in that color bottle.) “Sliders,” are hamburgers usually on the small side, a “Coney island,” is a hot dog. “Drag it through the garden,” means everything on it, where, “hold the garden,” means nothing on it.

So the next time you walk into a diner and the waitress calls out to the kitchen for a, “Number one covered in shit,” Don’t be alarmed…. someone just ordered two eggs and some home fries covered in chip beef gravy. For more diners, recipes and forums checkout www.roadfood.com

- Dean Massey

Dear Cthulhu,

I’m not a good person, but it isn’t my fault. I’m an addict and my sickness makes me do things I shouldn’t to get money to support my habit.

I’m addicted to expensive women’s footwear. The problem is I’m a man with size 13E feet, so it’s difficult and expensive to get anything attractive in my size.

Recently I got a bonus at work, which I was planning to spend on some pumps and leather thigh high boots. Then my wife, “Stacy,” gets it in her head that the money should be spent on our kid’s braces. I was furious. She could do without braces, even if the other kids had nicknamed her Beaver.

The final straw was when Big and Wide, my favorite online store, had a huge sale. I had to get some money. I started looking around the house for things to sell, when I noticed a picture of my wife. My wife has very long hair and takes pride in the fact that she hasn’t cut it, other than trimming split ends, since she was a teenager. It’s thick, wavy, and goes all the way down to her knees. A guy, “Harry,” I know makes wigs and has offered my wife three grand for her hair, but she always turned him down.

That night I had my sister-inlaw baby sit and took my wife out on a bender. Actually, she’s a recovering alcoholic and didn’t realize until the third drink that there was vodka in her ginger ale. I was having the bartender slip it in. Pretty soon Stacy was blitzed and she passed out on our front lawn. I took some garden shears and cut her locks off. I took them by Harry and had the money put in my MoneyFriend online account. The shoes were on their way to me before Stacy woke up.

She was very upset with her crew cut and the fact that she had been drinking. She didn’t remember the previous night, so I told her she

had done the drinking on her own and someone must have cut her hair while she was passed out.

Stacy’s gotten a little out of control since. The house has gone to pot and she got fired from her job, so I’m short on money again and Big and Wide is having another sale next week.

I’ve heard the blood bank is playing for donations, but I have a couple of questions. Will they take blood from drunks? Will they be able to figure out I’ve brought my wife to previous blood banks if I have them take it from separate arms? Can they take it from her legs? Will they let me draw the blood myself and will they give me a kit for that? I’m thinking of having my daughter donate to the cause since she’s wearing a couple of dozen pairs of my shoes on her teeth.

She’s twelve, so she may be too young to give the blood herself, so if I can get it myself, I’ll just say it’s mine?

I am her legal guardian after all, but could I be charged with child abuse?

-Bleeding Family Dry In Bellmore Dear Bleeding,

It is Cthulhu’s understanding that blood must be donated straight from the source. It is probably a safeguard to keep humans like you from killing someone and selling off their blood for fun and profit.

Cthulhu has another option.

I would be willing to buy your wife and daughter from you. In exchange I will give you a gift certificate to your Big and Wide shoe shop for one hundred pairs of shoes.

Not only will you be rid of them, but you can turn your daughter’s room into a showcase for your footwear. I advise letting me know before their BOGO sale is over.

Dear Cthulhu,

My grandfather’s been having some health issues and the family decided that he should be put in a nursing home. A couple months ago he asked me if I’d move in with him to help him out.

Right before that I’d been living with this woman rent-free for about a

year but there was a problem. I was supposed to be paying half the rent.

She was letting me slide because she thought we were engaged. I mean, I gave her a ring but I was drunk at the time and have no recollection of proposing. I figured if I can’t remember doing it, then it doesn’t count right. Besides, we never actually talked about it afterwards. Well, she did. I just didn’t correct her misunderstanding. It’s her own fault for not picking up on my signals—I never set a date, picked a best man or any of the usual stuff. I did go to several caterers, but never picked one. I just went because it was a cheap date— they all gave us free grub. Even the ring should have tipped her off. I won it in one of those crane games with the stuffed animals. It’s glass.

She didn’t even get suspicious when she insisted we get it appraised and I took her to the Slushie King next to the jewelry store at the mall and had my buddy Zeke do the appraisal.

He told her he usually worked at the jewelry store, but the guy also owned the Slushie King and just had him filling in that day. The appraisal said it was worth ten grand—I don’t even have a job. Where’d she think I came up with that kind of scratch? Besides the appraisal was done on the back of a Slushie King receipt. I can’t be held at fault because she’s dumber than rocks. Yet she’s blaming me and even tried to kill me with a steak knife just because she caught me having sex with her sister.

So when Gramps asked, I figured it was the perfect way to get out of Dodge, so I agreed. Not that I was thrilled about the move because I have to cook, do the laundry, and take him to his doctor appointments and stuff, but he is family. The problem is Gramps got lucky with this slutty senior chick and he invited her to move in with us. I was happy the old guy was getting some and I didn’t have to watch Matlock re-runs all the time. Plus Slutty did the laundry and the cooking.

The problem came one night when I got home late from the bar.

I was kind of drunk and had the munchies. Slutty must have heard me. Gramps was out cold in his room.

She came into the kitchen in this tiny silk nightie. There were things hanging in ways I’d never seen before and would be happy never seeing again.

Worse, I was seeing double so I saw twice as much, although the sight of what appeared to be a four breasted woman did get me a little excited, 23

regardless of the effects of gravity.

Slutty started touching me and kissing me all over. Instead of telling her the idea of doing her turned my stomach, I turned her down gently, telling her I couldn’t mess with her on account of she was Gramp’s ho.

Slutty said she understood and even poured me a beer. After I drank it, the world started spinning. Before I knew what was happening, Slutty had thrown me down, ripped off my pants and was riding me like a wild bronco. What was worse was it was totally hot. What age and gravity had taken away from Slutty, time and experience had made up in spades. She did things to me that I never knew were possible.

The problem is she’s still interested. And I think I am too, at least if I got drunk first, but what about Gramps? Slutty is his ho. Is it wrong to keep doing her or should I stop out of respect? Or should I just let her keep slipping me ruffies so I can blame it on that? Not to mention get free drugs and beer? Or if I try it straight, how do I get past the wrinkles and sagging parts? Maybe make her wear one of those t-shirts with a painting of a hot chick in a bikini on the front and back?

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-Wants Wanton Wrinkly Woman In Warsaw Dear Wants,

It seems that you use drinking to justify the things you do. This is a poor excuse. You are responsible for your own actions. If you drink and propose to women, unless you speak up when you sober up, you are still engaged. Your girlfriend’s stupidity does not enter into it, although it does explain why she said yes. As for Slutty, yes she drugged and took advantage of you, which you could have reported to your local police, but I suspect you didn’t at least in part because you would have to start doing the household chores again.

In the future, if you choose to take any beverage from her, you should expect that it will be drugged. If this gets you in the mood and you are fine with that, there is no problem. In fact, I understand. Many of the women my followers bring to Cthulhu need drugs as well before they can relax enough for sex. I am told that I am rather intimidating, both in bed and out, although eventually they learn to appreciate what all these tentacles can do, but Cthulhu digresses.

As for your grandfather, it is disrespectful. Human men have been known to fight and kill over their women. As you are younger and he is in a wheelchair,

I think you would be the victor in a fist fight, however in anger your grandfather may use a weapon. In my experience, the weakest human with a gun is more powerful than the strongest person without one. If he finds out, you should move out immediately. I doubt your excuse of being drunk and drugged will help you with a man scorned.

Also considering your history, you should avoid the alcohol with Slutty or in the throes of passion, you may end up engaged again. Although if she is heavily insured, this could pay off for you after a few years. It is my experience that sex and money can make some people overlook anything, including wrinkles and sagging parts.

Have a Dark Day.

Dear Cthulhu welcomes letters and questions at DearCthulhu@ dearcthulhu.com. All letters become the property of Dear Cthulhu and may be used in future columns.

Dear Cthulhu a work of fiction and satire and is © and ™ Patrick Thomas. All rights reserved. Any one foolish enough to follow the advice does so at their own peril.

Save Me From Myself How I Found God, Quit Korn, Kicked Drugs, and Lived to Tell My Story

by Brian Welch HarperOne

Bakersfield California is a relatively small city of about 370,000, one hundred miles North of Los Angeles County in the California’s Central Valley, the agricultural center of the west coast.

Its main exports are grapes, avocadoes, and... nu metal? Korn turned the music world upside down in 1998 when they released their 3rd album, Follow the Leader (which went 5 times platinum in the US alone) and introduced the world to their unique style of heavy metal. Behind all the fortune and fame, however, lied a whirlwind of sex, drugs and rock’n’roll.

In Save Me From Myself, Brian “Head” Welch, former Korn lead guitarist and one of the main architects behind the unique Korn sound, details his life’s journey from humble beginnings, playing guitar in his basement in Bakersfield, to being a part

of one of the world’s biggest bands and all the benefits and baggage that come with it. Here Welch chronicles his progression through a life of substance abuse, a disease that spirals out of control as he and Korn become more and more successful.

What starts out as an innocent drinking habit soon evolved into an intense debilitating addiction to alcohol, cocaine and methamphetamines. So what happens next? Does he go to rehab, return clean, make another hit record, and live happily ever after? Not exactly. Welch chooses to quit Korn and travel to the Jordan River in order to get baptized and all not in the name of some strange publicity stunt either. While many people at first thought he was crazy or was playing some kind of practical joke, Welch’s life would forever change as he would became a born-again Christian. If you’re looking for a book that glorifies the rock’n’roll lifestyle, this isn’t it. It’s actually quite graphic and at times can be disturbing. Instead, this is

an inspirational story about how a man who seemingly had everything was able to turn his life around after hitting rock bottom and manage to still do something positive with his life. If you’re interested in how one of the world’s biggest rock stars had everything one could possibly ever want and walk away from it all, then I recommend this book. Not only is it extremely personal and interesting, it’s also a quick read. – Jose Ho-Guanipa

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A Romance on Three Legs Glenn Gould’s Obsessive Quest for the Perfect Piano

By Katie Hafner Bloomsbury USA

By 1960, Glenn Gould’s recording of the Goldberg Variations had the classical record business on its ear. He was a witty, polite, charming man haunted by a genius of touch and connection with his instrument. “After seeing Gould perform, or after listening to his records or hearing him on the radio, people swore they could hear the player’s soul and sense of vulnerability.”

But this is a love story of a different kind told with loving detail, emotion and accuracy by Katie Hafner in an extraordinary researched and compelling biographical look into the mind and soul of a brilliantly gifted classical pianist from Canada and his quest. He was, as we now describe, an obsessive compulsive, hypochondriac who didn’t fly in jets but traveled across the borders between New York and Toronto by rail or car.

A child prodigy, and one of the many noted in a stable of exclusive Steinway Piano stars, Gould travelled with his CD 318 and a personal piano tuner, Charles Verne Edquist, a legally blind piano tuner. Edquist’s personal struggles and triumphs with sight and sound are a different kind of obsession -personal perfection. “A skilled tuner possesses not just a good ear but also the ability to distinguish the smallest differences in tone and pitch across the piano’s entire keyboard from the lowest snarling bass to the high, simmering treble notes.” This blind professional tuner could distinguish these tones and more. He heard in colors. One genius of tone meets another genius of obsessive touch in the love story that came to a tragic end while traveling across the country.

Hafner keeps the reader engrossed by a mountain of Cliff Note’s on piano tuning and the rich history of the Steinway family. You could almost see the sweat on the brows of the tuners and piano builders. Turning a forest of trees into a bowed massive weighed instrument of beauty, grace and sound is not a walk in the park. Her personal time machine pulls the reader back to the decades of craftsmanship when the Steinway CD 318 and its predecessors were laborious built by hand with special woods, forged steel, felt and sinue of strings, and natures ivory shipped to the modest factory in the heart of Astoria, New York.

Those decades of piano artisans are gone, now replaced by mass produced lightweight versions of molded plastic. This century’s pianos are electronic wonders reproducing a computerized digital midi representation of any keyed instrument and mass produced in several Asian factories and readily affordable to the hungry buying public.

Hafner’s takes the reader back in time when piano’s like automobiles had showrooms. This was not the digital age.

Analog, monaural vinyl records, hand edited reel to reel tape recordings and smoke filled studios on Tin Pan Alley defined a bygone era before television entertaining the masses on radio. This was Gould’s world. He would travel for years around the world dazzling audiences with his CD 318. Play for packed concert houses and heard by millions in Canada on his radio show.

Gould became weary and disenchanted with touring. He would eventually turn his attention to the CBS recording studios in New York. He had a special fascination with the inner workings of recording. His nights were spent with his piano and loyal attendees. Eventually, he succumbed to his bizarre lifestyle and internal demons and died while planning for a new recording.

After listening to Gould’s 1955 Goldberg variations, I felt sorrow, wonder, amazement and a yearning for an age of music that has long passed. I am grateful for the chance to experience that time through A Romance on Three Legs.

For those of us who wished we took lessons or finished the ones our parents lovingly paid for, please read this book and experience true love that broke a man’s heart and left a legacy of brilliance.

- Mike Stone 26

Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me

by Pattie Boyd and Penny Junor Three Rivers Press

I began to read Pattie Boyd’s autobiography, Wonderful Tonight: George Harrison, Eric Clapton, and Me, with much enthusiasm. After all, Boyd (as this book’s back cover suggests), is, “rock music’s most famous muse.” Boyd was married to not one, but two rock legends: George Harrison and Eric Clapton. However, this book should be more exciting than it is.

Boyd’s life began inauspiciously. Her parents didn’t care enough for each other or their children. Divorce, dislocation, step-

parents and physical abuse were all part of her childhood. She moved from home at 17 to stake out a life for herself, despite her crippling insecurity. The rest, as they say, is history. From her career as a model to meeting George Harrison on the set of, A Hard Day’s Night, to Beatlemania, to Haight-Ashbury, to India, to divorce, Boyd was on the inside track of cultural history. After Harrison, she moved on to his friend, Eric Clapton, who had just written, “Layla,” for her. The seventies were a low point for Boyd. While the rock stars had seemed like charmed creatures ten years ago, she now regarded them as overgrown children. She began to resent not having an identity of her own. She

was soon divorced a second time. Since then, Boyd has lived mostly alone. She only regrets taking so much abuse from many, for so long. These last years have been happy for her because she feels she is finally her own person. This is an amazing story but Boyd is not a professional writer. She fails to convey the excitement of the sixties. Reading about her trips to exotic locations becomes increasingly tedious. She also uses flashbacks extensively, breaking the flow of the text. Despite its shortcomings, Wonderful Tonight is essential reading for anyone who wants to learn about the rock era from a female perspective.

- Christian Recca

Creem

by Robert Matheu & Brian J. Bowe Collins

Back in the day, there was one thing I loved doing: squirreling away with the latest issue of Creem magazine. Being the oldest of three and having grown up in a one-bedroom tenement proved hard to experience personal space.

But clever as I thought I was, the space I would eventually create for myself would be in my head. You could usually find me in the same exact place every time, with a copy of this beloved mag rolled up under my arm. The spot I would park myself was the building courtyard that I lived in.

It’s funny because every time I would go there and get comfortable on the stoop, no one would come walking through. And here I would sit, alone, for hours on end, reading and looking at the photos. Sure enough, this ritual would feel as familiar as Creem’s content; where photos of a naked and drunk Grace Jones was the norm and the Boy Howdy logo seemed so real to life. So when I got a copy of Creem by Robert Matheu and Brian J. Bowe (Collins), I flipped. Within the 250+ pages, you will find some of the best articles and columns Creem had to offer during its tincture. Also included are some of the funniest Creem’s

Profiles (one features Todd Rundgren, holding a candle in one hand and a can of Boy Howdy Beer. Rundgren is dressed in a full body suit and donning a witches hat).

Other additions are the Star’s Cars (one featured George Clinton circa 1978, standing alongside of a Long Beach garbage truck, a boom box at his feet and broom in his hand). And where else could you read about the Dead Boys and Rush within the same pages?

The cover of this book alone sent shivers down my spine because it depicts all of Creem’s covers and I still have some or remember reading them. The book is in large, coffee table size and full color. But what truly made me smile was by traveling through these pages, it was nice to be rereminded that at one time, way before the world of self-dedicating blogs, writers used to write with such passion and heart. You truly felt you were there when reading Creem.

I will not be shy with the fact that obviously Creem had a major impact on me as a writer. Those who grew up on a steady diet of this should pick up this book.

- edie

“Creem was a 7Eleven mag. It was like you should have your Creem with a Slurpee. It was a nice thing.” – Iggy Pop “I don’t believe anything I read in Creem, it and the writers just say what they want to!” – Geddy Lee of Rush “It’s about time you realized that people actually believe what they read in that rock ‘n’ roll rag of yours.” – Pete Townshend “Creem rocked as much as the bands. It was the same attitude. The staff of Creem didn’t just come to the shows to write about them, they came to rock.” – Alice Cooper 27

If Only I Could Sell Banana Hammocks:

How To Start Your Own Company

We are all entrepreneurs at heart; everyone wants to start their own themed bar or restaurant, open a kitschy inn, run a PR company, invent gadgets, etc. It takes more than just an idea to do it and we all know that is why most of us sit on our asses working jobs we don’t care about while our potential washes away with the taxes cut from our paycheck. It’s hard and it takes a lot of work and desire to start a company but when you’re doing it, if you love what you are working towards, there probably won’t be an inch of regret in your bones. I delved into my own DIY company without much knowledge to start and would like to share what I’ve learned for those who may want to try it themselves.

The first thing to do is look into other companies that are similar to yours and do research on rates and the proper approaches to take on starting up your own business. Obviously, if you are considering starting a business, you know a bit about what it is, but it still doesn’t hurt to read up on the guidelines of what is necessary to do before going into business. Preparation and thought are key. You don’t want to start a company and then get trapped by something you didn’t think about and have to shut it down until you re-work the quirks.

You must have a solid idea and gimmick. We are going to say that mine was banana hammocks with days of the week on them. Once you have your wellthought out idea, a game plan is a must.

In my case, I would contact all the artists, designers and clothing companies that I knew or thought who might be interested in working with me for a decent rate or

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some sort of deal.

The next step is to use all your connections: network. It’s impossible to make your business work if you are not networking and meeting people, discussing your product and your company because you never know whom you will meet or what they could do for you. Talk to everyone you know about the type of business you are starting, see if they know anyone you could talk to. It doesn’t hurt to ask and to publicize yourself as much as possible, sometimes that’s the best way for the pieces to fall into place. These connections can help you with discounts on supplies, finding cheap help, finding distributors and investors.

If you already have a monetary safety net for your company then great, if not then you need to think long and hard about what your prices will be for your services. I want to charge enough for my banana hammocks that people don’t feel like they are getting ripped off, but I also need to be able to pay for things that might go wrong. The fault most people make is trying to adhere their customers by keeping their prices low but it doesn’t allow them to pay for the possibilities of mistakes being made. What if all my Monday banana hammocks had “Munday,” printed on them instead? I would have to eat that money because I didn’t charge enough to factor in the possibility of a printing error.

Another issue is how to claim your company if it gets to the point where you want to start a business bank account and claim taxes. Whether you should become an LLC (Limited Liability Company), an LLP (Limited Liability Partnership) is a big decision that requires a lot of thought.

Partnerships can be problematic when it comes to businesses because unless you are incorporated, you and your partner could lose all your assets if someone was to sue. If it turned out that, “Days of the Week” banana hammocks had been thought of before and I got sued, my partner and I would both have our personal assets erased as well and then we’d have nothing to restart with. In the beginning you could skirt around it and just have a joint personal bank account with your partners, but as things pick up, it is really important to incorporate and claim yourself as a company.

In terms of publicizing, there are cheap ways to make websites; buying a URL is pretty inexpensive and starting email addresses for your company are the easiest and first things you should do. You must make sure that your investors, consumers and partners know that you have a professional attitude towards your work.

Make business cards; creatively make your own if you don’t have the money to purchase them. It might seem hard to be costefficient and it can be, but with the right resources, you can do a great deal without emptying your pockets immediately.

It won’t be smooth sailing; you will make mistakes and learn new ways to deal with them along the way. Starting a company is rewarding and exciting, it’s a learning experience and it’s something to be proud of even if it is slightly doing well.

So go out and find your own banana hammock or something that you feel strongly about and learn by trial and error what corrections you want to give to this article in your letter to the editor.

- Lauren Piper

Somewhere between the relaxed poise of Carole King found on her Tapestry album, we find Colleen Brown, standing in a natural setting, gazing back at us with a strangely, ever-knowing gaze. I am describing the cover of Ms. Brown’s second solo release called Foot in Heart. The differences between these two chanteuses are many and not so and like Her Highness of master song crafting, Brown is truly not too far behind. With her astute, solid piano tracks surrounded by this enormously bold, big voice, I find that Brown offers just a little bit more amongst the extremely heartfelt and personal songs found on Foot in Heart. Found here are 12 magnificent songs that travel between splitting heartbreak and the splendor of bold realizations, the timid-ness of new love and the bleak uneasiness of what the future holds for us. Brown’s lyrics guide the listener easily into that exact unknown excitement of it all.

Clever is not a word to use lightly when describing Brown’s intelligent, thought provoking lyrics. Foot in Heart offers some of the most biting I have heard in awhile.

“Ain’t Got No Man (To Have Problems With),” is an anthem for woman living in a quasisingle lifestyle thinking it’s truly enjoyable as Brown sits in the corner, wasting no time in cracking open the real Pandora’s Box as she sings: “I said hey hey woman/do you know just what your problem is/you think you need a man/you think you need a man to have problems with/that’s what your problem is.” In the song “Boyfriend,” she sings, “Boyfriend, write me off if you don’t own the pen.” The song sounds like it was first spawned in the Doo-Wop/Uptown girl group era and would be better off on a Decca recording.

Brown grew up in Lloydminster on the Alberta Saskatchewan border in Canada.

She would eventually make a name for herself in Edmonton but not before being exposed to classical music lessons in piano and voice as a youngster. “I grew up in a small city of about 13,000 where the only radio station was country and western. My parents are very religious so I went to a Catholic school and church and sustained myself on Michael W. Smith and Carey Landry songs until I was probably 11, along with a healthy dose of musical theatre - Fiddler On the Roof was a favorite. I saw Tanya Tucker perform live and really started liking “country” music, which led to an exploration of more secular music in general. My older brother introduced me to Tori Amos when I was entering high school and around that same time I discover my parents’ LP collection and heard the Beatles, Gordon Lightfoot, Cream, Cat Stevens and Simon and Garfunkel for the first time. That music still sticks to my ribs. Oh yeah and all through this I danced ballet and practiced classical piano and voice, so that influenced the way I think about music for sure,” Brown elaborates. Despite that she recalls writing her first songs as a pre-teen, Brown’s career decision shortly settled on Music Education. As she found herself studying Vocal Performance at Grant MacEwan College in Edmonton, Brown started assembling her first release. This release would come to light as, A Peculiar Thing, a collection of original folk and pop songs. It took no time for Brown to be recognized as an up and coming one to watch. But something else ended up happening. Brown split her musical time between nurturing her solo efforts while up starting an all-female band called The Secretaries. The Secretaries list ‘70s Heart, tequila, all night record listening/living room dance parties,’ as the fuel that sparks their music as Brown explains: “Probably eight months after I released, A Peculiar Thing, I had been playing some folky acoustic duo shows with Amy van Keeken (vocalist and guitarist; van Keeken makes an appearance on Foot in Heart as backup singer) and Natasha Fryzuk (drums), me on bass and vocals.

Basically we decided we wanted to explore a “ballsier” side of music (and ourselves) together so we all picked up new instruments and just started trying out sounds while trying out ideas. We write a lot of the songs together, so that’s a totally different way of approaching things. We didn’t really intend to perform when we first started jamming, but we had so much fun! We laughed our asses off at the stupid, awesome songs we were writing. We were full of ideas and creatively invigorated. It was so nice to not be so serious! Our first gig was playing to a room of people on stationary bicycles in the West Edmonton Mall! We opened up for Gogol Bordello last month at the Edmonton Event 29

Centre (which also happens to be inside the mall) which was quite the high. I certainly never expected to be doing that!”

Brown also took part in the Alberta Scene Showcase in Ottawa along side other Canadian greats like Texan Transplant Gordie Johnson and Country star Terri Clark. In between media coverage (Brown was “hand-picked” to perform one of her original compositions for Governor General Michaelle Jean’s Installation ceremony, which was televised on CTV), her follow up, Foot in Heart was already in development.

The first thing that tends to pop into your mind when traveling through the 12 songs on Foot in Heart is early Joni Mitchell. I asked Brown how does this feel? She answered, “I think the association has done nothing but good things for me. I can see how it might limit peoples’ perception of what kind of music I’m really making, but it certainly has its usefulness.” Foot in Heart also offers slight musical genres woven together by Brown’s fantastic, dazzling and commanding voice. It’s one of those soulful voices that hits you right in the heart center, even while she’s lulling in the song, “Love You Baby,” which offers the bunch of vocal tracks floating around. Truly, this song is not folk but a perfect pop gem. Asked on the genre she’s most comfortable in, Brown stated, “That’s a tricky subject. I think it’s a little funny that I was #2 on the Folk/Roots charts here in Canada. I truly feel that this is much more a pop record than anything. But 1970’s style pop. Not like today’s Top 40. I never know when I apply for grants and awards and things if I should enter the Pop or Folk Category. Luckily I think a lot more people are understanding today of the fact that most artists don’t fit squarely in any one genre. I don’t care what people call it, as long as they like it! But really, I don’t care if people like it, as long as they give it a chance.” Another power song is “Fire,” the loudest song on the cd, with drums cascading around a pounding piano only to relax a bit when Brown sings. I asked Brown to explain the song’s subject – the ‘waking up feeling,’ some of us are gifted to experience. Brown had this to say: “I used to want everyone to like me. I used to think that I had to humor everyone and be agreeable all of the time, even to those who made unwelcome sexual advances. This song is about starting to know my own mind and deciding for myself what is best and what (and who) I want. It’s really about knowing one’s own power.”

It’s undeniable that Foot in Heart is personal, maybe biographical. I asked Brown if she finds it easy to open up to an audience with this material? “I’m a pretty open person. I assume the best in people and rarely am I ever disappointed. I don’t really know any other way to operate. On that note, I realize that some people are totally turned off by that heart-on-sleeve writing.

I decided a while back that I’d rather make a bad impression than no impression so I’m taking the personal love song thing to its extreme I guess. I fully expect however that the next album will stray from the confessional style of writing. I wrote a song about a Star Trek episode and a song about trying to control everything from the perspective of a driver. We’ll see where that leads,” she said.

As a listener, Foot in Heart’s songs act as these individual tiny or big experiences all within a hands reach to cry, mourn, laugh or be joyous about. I asked Brown what her favorite moment is in this recording. Brown replied: I have two; the end of the bridge in, “Boyfriend (“I don’t want to be wrong again...”),” and the end of,” Fire,” where I sang some screaming high notes. This gives me goosebumps every time. It’s a strange thing to give yourself goosebumps! I suppose even I can surprise myself!”

With such a big monster this release is, I was curious on how Brown manages the two musical projects (solo and The Secretaries) and whether she finds enough time to dedicate to both 30

spaces of music? She had this to say: “All the projects that I’m involved in go through ebb and flow. The Secretaries have done the most touring in the last year or two, but right now I’m starting to really focus on my solo project because I have Foot in Heart out.

We made a music video and I’m starting to work with a manager and I’m actually starting to make some money at it. I feel like I’m hitting my stride as a performer and songwriter and things are really gelling onstage, so I’m excited about performing these songs now. When things slow down for this album I think the Secretaries will record and I have this idea for another totally different costumed dance/show band that’s going to blow everyone away...so I’m kind of going with what excites me! That’s one of those lovely freedoms that goes along with being an independent artist. But I will say that if I could, I would spend WAY more of my hours just playing music, with both bands. I love them both. I NEED them both!” Since Brown plays musical hats I asked her if the piano was her choice instrument. She said: ”I love me a 9 ft Steinway grand!

But I play a lot more bass and guitar these days than piano...partially because I don’t own a piano. I have a keyboard, but that’s just a computer really! That’s partially because the music I want to write these days is leading me down a different path. I try to just think of myself as a ‘musician’, so I’m not limited by that.” Asked on her biggest musical influence, she replied: “AAHHH! That’s always the hardest question. I’d like to say that my biggest influence is from songs that I think are masterpieces. “Under Pressure” is one.

“Blackbird,” and Jeff Buckley’s, “Last Goodbye.” Joni Mitchell’s, “A Case Of You,” “2000 Miles,” by the Pretenders. “Cinnamon Girl…”

More recently Feist’s, “I Feel It All.” These are all songs I’ve listened to on repeat and thought, ‘if only I could write something like this one day.’ Oh, this list should be way, way longer!”

Another interesting fact stated in Brown’s press kit is that she is involved with the CBC/Alberta Reads programming. Brown explains: “I was commissioned to write a song for a CBC radio program and event called Alberta Reads. It was pretty exhilarating for me to have someone think enough of my songwriting to ask me to write something. It was just a one-off thing I did last year, but the CBC has been incredibly supportive of my music. The tally of 150 songs started around age 16/17 with songs that I started to perform for other people, that I wouldn’t be totally ashamed to play for people now, though I don’t remember how to play a lot of them! There are probably a couple dozen or so that I wrote with the Secretaries within the last couple of years. There are lots of songs in there that I don’t intend to ever perform as Colleen Brown, but maybe with some other potential future group. And I have a whole notebook of lyrics with partial melodies/structures just waiting to be made into songs that I haven’t included in that number.

Someday soon I’ll hopefully have some time to complete those!”

Any tours on the horizon? Brown: “We’re just beginning to do radio tracking in the US in the next month, so things will take a bit of time to shape up but I’m starting to look into summer music festivals and hoping to be a total globe-trotter within the year. We’re working out the strategy as we speak.”

Until then, we will wait. And hopefully I won’t lose any sleep due to the extreme excitement with the possibly of a live US performance of Colleen Brown! And speaking of excitement/sleep (both strong adjectives thrown around Foot to Heart), the song, “Now That I’ve Found You,” is about talking in your sleep. I just had to enlist Brown to name someone she wouldn’t mind to ease drop on her nocturnal poetry. She said: “I’d tell Joni Mitchell to quit smoking! I’d probably babble on about how great she is and how, even though we’re not friends and never will be, I care deeply for her well-being! I’m sure that would do it - half a century of chain-smoking and I’m sure that’s all it would take!”

Foot in Heart is out now. www.colleenbrownmusic.com - edie

by Gabriela Benitez

This article will service as an analysis of two musical products 1) Hip Hop Culture and 2) Folk Culture, namely rap and payada. Here I will detail that the axial terms of identity and memory applied to these styles of music reveal some similarities and differences. Understanding identity as the qualities and attitudes that a person or group of people have, that make them different from other people and memory as something that you remember from the past about a person,

place, or experience, folklore is in itself an example of identity and memory. Folklore encompasses not only traditional music but also every aspect of the life of a society which is in turn conformed of its customs, costumes and history. Rap is a globalised phenomenon which became known in the hip hop culture. Through its revolutionary style, rap caught the attention of both its followers and censors. If we take notice of the memory of rap we will see a lifestyle and popular complain of black people, because it originated amongst Afro-Americans. The purpose of this article is to try and analyze relevant aspects of rap music and payada in order to establish their relationship with the axial themes identity and memory.

An insight into the m e a n i n g of the words rap, folklore and payada and their etymology will be of paramount importance as an approximation to the topics under discussion and as a means to clarify the misunderstandings these terms may generate amongst people. Likewise, a scrutiny of the origins of both rap music and folklore will serve as the basis for my analysis as it will show the different relationship each of the terms has with the axial themes. In order to zoom the topic, I will limit this analysis mainly to Argentina but examples or comments from other countries may appear if relevant.

Payada and rap music are products of what can be called, ‘Folk Culture,’ and ‘Hip Hop Culture,’ respectively. A key characteristic of folk culture is that its products can be traced back to older civilizations and their traditions. The comparison and contrast of rap music and payada in all

its different aspects could possibly arrive at the conclusions in regards of their connection with the axial themes identity and memory.

In examining rap music and payada I will work within the two major issues such as identity and memory. For this purpose I will take into account origins, themes, terms’ etymology, emblems, if any, etc., in both musical styles.

A general analysis of the etymology for rap and folklore cannot be overlooked. The word folklore was created by the English archaeologist William John Thoms in 1846. According to the Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary, the word, ‘Folklore’ means, “traditional customs, tales, or sayings preserved orally among a people;” the word derives from, ‘folk,’ which means, “a group of kindred tribes forming a nation: people,” and ‘Lore,’ which means, ‘a particular body of knowledge or tradition.’

Therefore, folklore is a body of expression of a culture by means of short stories, music, oral history, which are shared by a particular community. Some of folklore’s characteristics are its anonymity which is in keeping with the idea of a group that creates products whose author is not easily identified, its spontaneity because these products are transmitted generation after generation. Folklore registers past events even if they are shared in the present and it is easy to discover their original date.

According to Bruno Cayetano Jacovella, folklore is a regional, provincial, “aldeana,” and rural culture, and it is opposite to the national and urban culture.

The folklore that has been compiled since 1920 is only a residue of the cultural patrimony of the different regions, preserved in the memory of the elderly and in the localities far from the vias of communication. In this sense, we can begin to trace the identity reflected through folklore music, because the term is used to emphasize that it is the product of villagers, the 31

music of ordinary people.

In 1949, the First National Congress of Folklore, celebrated in Buenos Aires, Argentina, approved of the emblem of folklore. The explanation provided for the emblem is useful to understand the memory and identity of Argentinean folklore. The folkloric discipline is represented in a tree because of its old and deep symbolism; as the tree, folklore sinks its roots under the ground, that is to say, in tradition. The tree has got three branches to one side and one branch to the other side. The former represent the peoples’ thinking, feeling and imagination and, the fourth branch represents the work of their hands. The trunk of the tree is wrapped by a strip that says, “What and how the peoples think, feel, imagine and work.”

The few leaves there represent the youth of science. The pigeons represent the union of the spiritual and the material in the wide area of folklore.

The voices Payador and Payada mean troubadour and tension, respectively; and their provenance can be said to be in Provence. The terms payador and payada were formed due to the concurrence of senses alike. Troubadours used to call themselves, “preyadores,” beggars or prayers of their ladies; and this voice contributed substantially to the formation of the terms payada and payador. A Payada is a chant, a poetic and musical duel between two payadores (example: Gauchos who sing accompanied by a guitar).

Before 1880 there existed in - Argentinean, Uruguayan and Chilean folklore – an art which belonged to Hispanic culture and which developed widely. The payador improvised rhymes, accompanied by a guitar. Sometimes, a couple of payadores got together and realized a contrapunto, a singing duel in which each payador provides an improvised answer. These duels ended when one of the payadores couldn’t answer immediately their interlocutor’s questions. A hilarious example of this singing duel can be found in, “Payada de la Vaca,” by Les Luthiers. The first payador dares the second one to solve a riddle. The second one answers the riddle breaking almost every rule in the payada.

His ignorance gives rise to this verse from the other payador: “Me extrana mucho compadre Me extrana mucho compadre que sea tan ignorante Uno payada brillante octosilabos precisa En el final finaliza y empieza por adelante Debe tener 8 versos y ser de rima elegrante” (Les Luthiers, “Payada de la Vaca”)

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In Argentina and Uruguay, the

payada is part of la cultura gauchesca.

In Argentina, the payador and his payada are not idle products of the Argentinean culture. On the contrary, in the memory of Argentina and the payadas there is the gaucho, the fundamental figure of the identity of Argentinean people. The epic poem, Martin Fierro, written by Jose Hernandez is representative of the payada in Argentina. In the introduction to Martin Fierro, Manuel A. Romero Aguirre asserts that the habla gaucha, the language spoken by gauchos, became authentic expression of the national feeling and states that Hernandez was the first payador among the peasant people. Further on in the introduction, Aguirre adds that the gaucho language has disappeared but the Martin Fierro, written in that language becomes more current with the passing of time. It has been translated into more than thirty languages and it is considered to be a masterpiece of literature worldwide.

Hip Hip is a culture movement born in 1970 in Afro-American communities in the United States. Thus, this genre, which was born in Africa, finds its original identity and language in Africa. However, nowadays, Hip Hop culture is growing together with rap and is widespread. Its main features are the costumes, graffiti’s and its musical style, Rap. The misconception that the term Hip Hop is synonymous for Rap music needs to be clarified. ‘Hip Hop encompasses all the cultural elements of surrounding rap,’ from “The Origins of Hip Hop and Rap,” and according to the Webster New Collegiate Dictionary the word “Rap,” means, “to criticize sharply or blame or talk freely and frankly.”

Scholar Cornell West said that Rap does not only express feelings of frustration, but it is also a protest from the Black Ghetto about their poor living conditions. He stated that Black Rap music was the musical expression of the, ‘paradoxical cry of desperation and celebration of the Black underclass and poor working class, a cry that openly acknowledges and confronts the wave of personal coldheartedness, criminal cruelty and existential hopelessness in the Black Ghettos of Afro American.”

When Chuck D., leader of Public Enemy asserted that Rap was the CNN of Black people, he didn’t imagine that his assertion would go beyond the geographic and racial domain in which it was formulated: people have found in rap a powerful means, both for their personal needs and their social beats.

Rap consists of speaking with rhymes in a repetitive rhythm. In Argentina, there are many very well known rappers such as El Sindicato Argentino del Hip

Hop. Their lyrics express the conflicts that exist in society, talk about everyday life issues, etc.

Sindicato Argentino del Hip Hop. Representando …Basta ya de hipocresias A mi no me eliminan, somos duelos de la calle Nuestra cultura no tiene detalle Hasta la policia de metal nuestro valle Somos duenos de la calle pero no de nuestras vidas Me represento, Me representas…

Es la ley de la calle (Representatndo – Sindicato Argentino del Hip Hop)

Rap shares with payada the duels. Each rapper produces an answer to his interlocutor waiting for their response and the duel ends when one of the rappers cannot answer or when the audience reacts in favor of one of them.

The results found while analyzing Rap and Folklore show that rap and payada are both products of folklore if we understand folklore as the way of expression of a group of people. In this sense, all products of a particular community are to be considered as folklore.

In the memory of rap, we find Afro-Americans complaining about their Urban impoverished experience. This does not mean that rap finds its identity amongst Black people only, because Rap – as Hip Hop – has developed widely to become a musical style that is never again to be associated with a particular race.

In the memory of payada we find legends, traditional tales, religious tradition, legendary characters, beliefs, etc.

The payada serves as identity to gauchos, Argentinean peoples. Nowadays, there are efforts from different groups in the Argentinean community to revive the importance and value of the payada tradition and folklore.

This Home Girl and Chica Lit Diva Rocks, and Says Yes to Hip-Hop! An interview with Sofía Quintero

We spoke at length with Sofía Quintero, “Chica Lit” author of several novels, including her “Divas Don’t Yield,” published by Ballantine, and this is what she had to say: about hip-hop, her project “the Miniskirt Mafia,” or female hip-hop vigilantes, and even Michelle Obama.

Often dubbed an, “Ivy-league home girl,” Quintero was born to a Dominican-Puerto Rican family and raised in the Bronx. She still lives there, in between book tours and speaking engagements.

The outspoken President of Chica Luna Productions has a B.A. in HistorySociology from Columbia University and earned her Masters in International and Public Affairs from Columbia as well.

“Divas Don’t Yield,” is an exhilarating coming of age cross-country trip carrying four college graduate friends of totally dissimilar backgrounds and ethnicities to a self-revealing symposium.

And would you be surprised if I told you that it starts off with their e-mails to one another?

This literary diva has opinions on every issue that interests us women; and there is plenty for you men to learn about us, too!

Her “Black Artemis” novels, she points out, “ are for women who love hiphop even when hip-hop fails to love them in return. They’re my contribution to the feminist response to the misogyny in hip hop culture.”

If that sounds contradictory, it is because Quintero is a most outspoken and original thinker.

“Well, men and women alike forget that despite the fact that hip-hop is a male-dominated subculture, it would not have become an international commodity without women,” she explains. “Not just because we have made contributions as artists and support the industry as consumers either. It’s much deeper than

that. Like, who holds it down at home for these men while they do their thing?

Their mothers, grandmothers, sisters, home girls, girlfriends and wives, that’s who. Who raises their children while they’re in the studio or on tour? It’s not their boys, that’s for sure. But for all that unconditional love and support, a woman has no place in a rap song or video unless she’s a mindless sex object or a ruthless femme fatale.”

Still, she defends hip-hop with a passion even if she doesn’t condone its blatant sexism. “Well yes, hip-hop may be guilty of misogyny, homophobia, materialism, etc., but it did not invent them.

And that’s what I mean when I say that I write fiction for women who love hip-hop even when hip-hop fails to love them in return. I’m one of those women.”

Since she wrote “Divas Don’t Yield,” Quintero has moved on to several other projects involving ensembles. “For example, my company, Sister Outsider Entertainment (www.sisteroutsider.biz) is developing a series which I will talk about in the near future.” We’re pitching it now and, there’s definitely great interest so we’re confident that we’ll be in production with the show in the near future.”

And on the literary front as Black Artemis, she has been collaborating with whom she refers to as “an amazing visual artist named Urban Envy.” Together, they have created a series of graphic novels called The Miniskirt Mafia. Urban is Japanese. Remind you of a 30-something GoGo in Kill Bill?

“As people debate the misogyny in the hip-hop industries and even sexism in the society at large, I started wrestling with the issue of whether or not women can level the playing field by emulating the vices of men. So I wanted to write a story that grappled with that, but you know me, I like to engage audiences to complex issues like that through tropes

The Diva that they recognize and love. In the case of The Miniskirt Mafia, that would be the stylized feminist revenge fantasy,” she laughs. Yep, that would be Urban Envy, and we’ll have to find her for you.

We had to ask Quintero about the brilliant and highly controversial Michelle Obama, and the bad rap she’s sometimes gotten for her outspokenness which many interpret – or misinterpret, as it may – as racism.

“As far as Michelle Obama goes, my friend Yvonne Bynoe said it better than me in this incredible essay on her blog called ‘Is the Country Ready for First Lady Michelle Obama?’ Among other critical points, Yvonne writes, ‘In our society we have such low expectations for Black 33

women that even our denigration is effortlessly justified. So people actually believe that Black women like Michelle who have brains, beauty, hefty salaries and loving husbands are anomalies. Embracing Michelle would mean acknowledging

a radically different Black female persona—that of a thinking, loving, independent yet supportive Black woman.”

As for herself, Quintero considers herself a Black Latina. “And I am a Black Latina every day of my life.”

You can watch Quintero deliver her message live, and not through Western Union, as she quips on the video, at Speak Out! (www.speakoutnow.org.)

Search for Sofía and explore the site!

– Diana Montané

Of Gender & Politics and Latinization in Music The Diva and the Dog

It’s always an interesting proposition when contemporary musicians and intellectuals engage in dialogue.

This happened when we threw Chica Lit Diva’s Sofía Quintero’s quote about hip-hop at Sen Dog of Cypress Hill, who’s just released a new album, Diary of a Mad Dog.

Except that Sen, however loud his bark, is a sweet pup at heart, and here is the exchange..

This is what the Diva had to say, in which we quoted from our interview with her (see preceding editorial) and

then hurled it at the Dog like a spiked frisbee: Sofía is here referring to her “Black Artemis” novels. “(They are) for women who love hip-hop even when hip-hop fails to love them in return. They’re my contribution to the feminist response to the misogyny in hip-hop culture.”

And now the thought-out and measured response from the rapper, cofounder of Cypress Hill, the band that has blurred cultural and genre boundaries.

As he addresses the hot issue, you can sense the Dog is in awe of the Diva and somewhat taken aback, his response somewhat mixed but responsible, like the perrito bueno that he is:

“Yes I know who she is, and that’s a very bold statement to make, and might be true in some sense, but we always knew that to be successful we had to get the women’s attention.

Hey, my favorite rappers are Queen Latifah and Salt n Pepa! I do agree with Sofía about the support because in order to be successful in this career you need to have the women support you. On the other hand, that’s just one mentality that portrays women like she says in videos. For the most part that description is accurate. And personally I think it’s ignorant on some people’s part to just show a woman in that form all the time. It’s like saying, this is all you’re good for! But hey, it’s not every artist that portrays women in that way. Unfortunately it’s a lot of them but not all of them.”

(You can be sure that Sen Dog isn’t one of them. He’s a true gent, proud of his Cuban, Caribbean and Latin roots and filled with love and gratitude towards

his parents. Aw puppy!)

The Dog Barks in his “Diary” (I really liked “Diary of a Mad Dog.” It’s seminal, groundbreaking, infectious and introspective so what’s not to like?)

You’re very bright, compadre. Are you schooled or selftaught?

I didn’t finish high school!

(Laughs) Fortunately Sony Music didn’t require a diploma! (Burst of laughter.)

But if I could go back in time and finish I would. I recommend it to all young people. Definitely study music! I’m living proof anybody from anywhere can make it, if you can dream big by all means go for it. If Cypress Hill or me inspires you I’m honored.

And why do you think you’ve endured and maintained yourself on top of the charts for so long?

I attribute it to our fans. We have a very loyal fan base, not taking anything away from our talent and dedication, but they’ve supported us for 20 years and it’s a blast to go to South America and Australia and have stadiums sold out.

(During the course of his twodecade career Sen had Top 10 singles (“How Could I Just Kill a Man”, “Insane In The Brain” and “Rock Superstar”), #1 albums on the Billboard Charts (Black Sunday) and countless platinum and gold plaques (over 17 million albums sold worldwide).

(The rapper suffered a heart attack during the taping of “Diary,” which in retrospect he now says it was a life-altering experience.)

How did your heart attack

change your life?

I was out for about ten days and they called it a “slight heart attack” but it was a damn scare for sure! (Laughs, still apprehensively.) I definitely appreciate things more now. You really appreciate what you have, you know what I mean? And it’s everything, not just me being alive but the people around me, my career, being on stage, it’s a blessing to do this for a living and I appreciate it way way more.

What was your inspiration

for, “Fumble?”

I wrote that when I was going through…not my best time in life and things weren’t going the way I wanted them to, and I was depressed and thinking about things I’d lost. I was watching a football game at the same time, and thought of dropping the ball, you know when the guy fumbles and tries to figure out how is he gonna get the ball back?

“Don’t Sleep in the Streets”

– Did you write it as a cautionary tale? And for others or for you? Or both?

I think both, you know what I mean? When I started to write it we were actually talking about back in the day how crazy things were in L.A. and out of that environment it still happens.

At least in my city it’s mayhem, man, so I wrote it based on the experience of a street person committing crimes. And I did the song with my friend Johnny Richter from Kottonmouth Kings. It can be taken as bragging or cautionary because the streets are crazy.

on, you know what I mean? Watch the news and whatever. It’s a difficult thing when you’ve been around for so long ‘cause you don’t wanna come out saying the same thing, and hanging out with my younger friends and their whole mentality keeps me up on the changes that go on. In terms of Latinos in particular we’re a people, not just a group. I look at the whole Latino society. I ask myself, are we improving? Are we getting better? I try to see who’s out there doing that. I think we’ve made a lot of great strides. I think the younger people need to look and see that there’s a lot of role models, in acting and in politics and what not. More younger Latinos need to look at that. We count.

And did you personally have

role models?

Oh yeah, I had several role models growing up, but before any of them I’d say my mom and dad because the hardships they endured leaving Cuba and leaving relatives behind, coming to a country where they didn’t speak the language and going to night school. I always knew my parents were out there building The American Dream. I don’t have any bigger heroes than them two. They’re not married anymore but they get along very well and are very proud of my accomplishments. They also think that I’ve done well in continuing the family musical legacy.

You’re Cuban. Anything spe cific about the culture that you touch on, or would like to?

About our Cuban culture? A lot of people don’t know, but we’re very talented people who are very hungry to succeed. I just want them to know, in spite of anything negative they might have heard, I’m very proud to be Cuban. Once Cuba is acceptable again, the world has a lot to learn, not about just the people, but Cuba in general. Some people don’t even know where Cuba is, you know?

We have a lot of great contributions to make.

We’re a hungry people and that’s what I like the most. You can’t keep a Cuban down! (Hearty laughter.)

Some rappers, and some Latin rappers and reggaeton musicians have gotten on the political bandwagon with some songs. (We are thinking about George Pajon, Jr. of Black Eyed Peas who produced “Yes We Can,” which includes 40 artists and actors.) Have you?

No. I’m not a political guy at all.

I think everything is based on lies. They know they won’t be able to keep their promises. I won’t endorse anybody or back anybody. The government doesn’t tell the people the truth. Tell us something that we don’t know about that’s important to us, c’mon! I’ve seen so much through all these politicians. I respect the artists if that’s what they wanna do but I’m not doing it myself.

- Diana Montané

Do you classify CAPO as

gangsta rap or does it go beyond that? I think it does.

Yeah it does, it’s not about gangsta rap, more about organized crime than anything else. Got the idea after watching an episode of The Sopranos. Some stuff was kinda cool to me, as if I was to be in his position. And then I thought, Oh I like it! (Laughter.)

You can watch Sen mixtape of the album by X Clan’s DJ Fat Jack and the single of Capo at www.myspace.com/ sendog. He is now signed with California’s independent label, Suburban Noize.

How do you stay current with

what you have to say? What aspects of society do you look at? And what aspects in terms of Latin culture in particular?

I stay current by just living and looking around. You can see what’s going

The Dog 35

Some people find themselves escaping into the country side when they need to drum up the flames of inspiration or to recharge their batteries. Me? I travel to Philadelphia and get lost in Isaiah Zagar’s Magic Garden. Located at 1020 South Street in Philadelphia, this magic garden covers half a city block indoors, outdoors and below. Similar to a cave, part of this art space has plexi glass blocks allowing you to spy the neighbors walking above you in the main part of the gallery (without being creepy!). It’s whimsical and completely hypnotizing! The artist responsible for this (and countless other murals all over the city) is Isaiah Zagar who began tiling South Street in the 1960’s. Out of this blossomed the Magic Garden, which he started working on in 1994. Since 1968 he crafted over 100 murals in the city of Philadelphia. But this special garden itself is an art space that is covered with brightly colored ceramic, broken bottles and plates, bicycle parts and Mexican religious statues.

While traveling around this spot, one can easily follow Zagar’s moment of dedication since this work covers a period of time.

Some spots allow the viewer to catch a glimpse into the different moods of Zagar.

Zagar had a chance meeting with Clarence Schmidt, a self-taught artist who created multi-level found art sculptural environ-

ments. This meeting inspired Zagar, then 19-year, into a true calling which would eventually culminate into the Magic Garden. A student of Pratt, he has held numerous solo and group exhibitions as well as being granted the following Awards including Pew Charitable Trust Individual Artist Fellowship Grant for work in the interdisciplinary arts, Philadelphia and National Endowment for the Arts in 1979 but it’s his imprint and completed installations that have given Philadelphia it’s artistic face. The Magic Garden is still an ongoing installation (as well as the Zagar South Street Gardensculpture garden and surrounding exterior mosaic and assemblage facades, 1994-present, Zagar Studio-3 story exterior/interior mosaics, 1987-present, Eyes Gallery-3 story exterior/interior mosaics, 1969-present). Open daily from March to November please call for a complete schedule at (215) 7330390. Philadelphia’s Magic Garden is a nonprofit organization formed by artists and community members to promote and preserve the art and legacy of this mosaic mural artist. For more information, to schedule a group tour, or to participate in a workshop, email info@phillymagicgardens.org. Help preserve the art and legacy

of Isaiah Zagar with a donation via www. philadelphiamagicgardens.org. Make sure to pick up a map that directs to all the locations in Philadelphia where you too can experience Zagar’s spellbinding works.

- edie

37

L E E R Y E S R JE val i t s e F m l i F

I arrived at the Williams Center in Rutherford, New Jersey at 3:30pm on a rainy September afternoon, the perfect setting for the Reel Jersey Film Festival, presented by the Bergen County Film Association.

I walked in on the middle of New Jersey—The Movie, presented as part of the Weird NJ film series. This documentary, directed by Stephen Chernoski, asks a question that obsesses many Jerseyans: where is the dividing line between North and South Jersey? Stereotypically, North Jerseyans are impolite and always rushing around while South Jerseyans are friendly and laid-back. The movie shows how these divisions play out in sports loyalties, lingo, and food choices. While this film is entertaining, I don’t think many non-Jerseyans will get it. Also, Chernoski suggests that the only thing Jerseyans

have in common is that they’re always being mocked. I would like to think something positive holds us together, as well.

After this, I saw Boris Gavrilovic’s My Life as an Underdog, a documentary on performance artist Suzanne Muldowney. Muldowney dresses up and dances as Underdog, the crimefighting cartoon dog. There is no irony in her performance. She was recently diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, an autism-like condition. It is sad to see Muldowney at a parade, crying, because she didn’t win a trophy. Yet I was inspired to see Suzanne twirling around in her homemade costumes. A friend likens her to Don Quixote, a passionate hero on an imaginary crusade.

While some may consider this to be an exploitative film, I believe that its heart is in the right place.

Other highlights included a Batman spoof starring five-yearolds, a selection of movies starring the blacklisted John Garfield and several silent films shot in North Jersey, an early capital of the film industry.

The large crowds proved the festival to be a success. The only dampers on the experience were the frequent technical difficulties. The festival shone a light on New Jersey, a state which rarely gets enough credit for being as weird as it is. – reporting by Christian Recca

For more info please visit http://www.bergencountyfilmcommission.org

38

Malcolm Y. Knotte and Angelica Wytch crashed the Weird NJ magazine Midnight Halloween Party in conjunction with the Bergen County Film Commission and they didn’t get tossed out! Here’s their pick of live entertainment:

Unholy Hillbilly Horror

A contemporary-Kallikak-themed horror film sponsored by the Bergen County Film Commission and WEIRD N.J. Magazine literally set the stage for two bands that, musically speaking, fit the event like a woodsman’s glove. As part of the Reel Jersey Film Festival, the bands Clancy’s Ghost and the Coffin Daggers played the sound stage at the Rivoli Theatre in Rutherford for the WEIRD N.J. Midnight Halloween Party on Friday, September 26th. This, a prelude to the Midnight Horror Show which featured “The Blood Shed”, a film billed as “Just your average inbred, hillbilly, cannibal family from New Jersey!” would be difficult for any single band to circumscribe musically, but these two bands in tandem were more than up to the task, and were warmly received by the crowd as well. Mark Sceurman and Mark Moran of WEIRD N.J. magazine introduced the bands, and their interesting juxtaposition of “Irish Folk” and “50’s/60s Underground Garage” bands was certainly out of the ordinary; but then, so was the movie which followed.

preferably at an event like some other stuff from back then, too. Rethe Applewood folk festival, member Timmy Turtle? Duck and cover…” where they can stick to the And cover they did. With faithful rendifolk music and play it to the tions of “Jack the Ripper”, “Out of Limits” hilt without having to morph and “The Inspector’s Theme” from A Shot Malcolm Knotte crashed Weird NJ magazine the Dark, an the initially tentative crowd arbitrarilyY. in orderand to Angelica hold inWytch Midnight Halloween Party in conjunction with theover.

Bergen County Film was quickly won In addition, they an otherwise preoccupied Commission and they didn’t get tossed out!

Here’s their pick which of livehad played their own compositions crowd. In the meantime entertainment: look for them on MySpace the same feel and made allusion to many and on the web at: www. of the sci-fi/space-race inspired songs Unholy Hillbilly Horror such as “Outta Space” and “Sputnik ‘69”. clancysghost.com A contemporary-Kallikak-themed film sponsored the Bergen Part horror of the band’s secret is by how long they County Film Commission and have WEIRDbeen N.J. Magazine literally set Electric the playing individually. stage for two bands that, musically speaking, fit the event like a woodsman’s glove. As part of theRodzianak Reel Jerseylearned Film Festival, Organist from the her ers and the Coffin Daggers played the sound stage at the Rivoli Theatre in Rutherford for the WEIRD N.J. Midn DaggGhost Clancy’s grandmother, a classical pianist, who he Coffi Tbands night Halloween Party on Friday, September 26th. This, a prelude to the Midnight Horrorhelped Show which “The Blood Shed”, her tofeatured master Beethoven’s Opus a film billed as “Just your average inbred, hillbilly, cannibal family from New Jersey!” would difficult any single band Bassist to cir79 be long beforeforcoming of age. cumscribe musically, but these two bands in tandem were more than up to the task, andKlarnet were warmly received by since the crowd has been playing age as 13, well. Mark Sceurman and Mark Moran of WEIRD N.J. magazine introduced the bands, and their interesting juxtaposition of Music “Irish and Martinez holds a Bachelors of

Submitted for your approval, a Folk” and “50’s/60s Underground Garage” bands was certainly out of the ordinary; but then, so was the movie which followed. band frozen in time… at least that’s how from NJCU. Sorry to say, I spent wayyyy to much time with Venom discussing Clancy’s Drummer Bill Gerstel totals the it seemed when the Coffin Daggers hit Ghost equipment to have the presence of mind bands combined musical experience at the stage. The secret of their authentic, to ask about his training. After all, how vintage sound? No, not by being thawed “over a century”, and totals it shows.

From auDrummer Bill Gerstel the bands combined musical experience at “over a century”, often and itcan shows.

From you go outauthentic and catchcovers a set that and later unfrozen like Austin Powers or thentic coverssuch of standards such as and “I’m“Jesse James” to original songs such as “Last Hurrah”, of standards as “I’m Troubled” “Rave On” andsolo “Young of ends with a Theremin that Turk is actually Doctor Evil but by using much of the acTroubled” and “Jesse James” to original Dublin” performed in the traditional style as well as covers of non-traditional songs suchmusical? as “Sheena Is A Punk Rocker” and a tual equipment from that greatest of muuniquesuch coverasof“Last The Cars’ “My “Rave Best Friend’s Girlfriend”, this versatile band ran the gamut.

Featuring Dosstell, on amplified songs Hurrah”, On” sical As Lance you can I really eneras: the early rock and roll years. banjo, electricTurk guitars and vocals, Andy Ogilvie on acoustic guitar, tin whistle, harmonicajoyed and vocals, Rick Wagner on bass, and “Young of Dublin” performed this band. I think the WeirdPaul N.J. Lead guitarist and Theremin player Victor Reider on amplified mandolin the aforementioned Bill Gerstel on drums, the band opened with a traditional folk folks nailed it with their band selections. in the traditional style as welland as dobro coversandVenom uses a Fender Strat and Jazzmassound which couldsongs be glibly as ‘Drop the Dubliners in the Pine Barrens, and this is what they would sound like after of non-traditional suchdescribed as “Sheena ter as well as a Mosrite copy, all of which I don’t know if the entire crowd would three yearsRocker” of isolation”. playing set of folk songs (surprisingly longer than one would thesonovelty agree withexpect), me; but, be it. wore In a off perIs A Punk and a After unique coveraoflongare played through a genuine Echoplex and the band deftly switched to a more modern sound, characterized by one event-goerfect as: “Wow, first they sounded like world, there would be a 50’ssome sci-fi The Cars’ “My Best Friend’s Girlfriend”, unit into a trashpicked Fender Pro Reverb Piney jug band and suddenly they go all Rembrandts on us”. The band changed sounds convention several times more, an sci-fi/ elecwhere allending of the with classic amp (the kind with the “Rev. 1” spring this versatileofband the gamut.

Featurtric version Rockran Island Line which caught the audience by surprise, as evidenced by horror the generous amounts of continuously applause theyin flicks would play reverb), which alone is enough to give ing LanceThis Dossison amplified banjo, received. a band I would like electo see again, preferably at an event like the Applewood folk festival, where they can stick to this band “that little extra push over the a theater with rooms dedicated to each tric guitars and vocals, Andy Ogilvie on the folk music and play it to the hilt without having to morph arbitrarily in order to hold movie, an otherwise preoccupied In thein and this band wouldcrowd. be playing cliff…” and instantly teleport the listener acoustic guitar, meantime look tin for whistle, them onharmonica MySpace and on the web at: www.clancysghost.com the lobby during the rewind.

Until then, back to that time when a teen’s greatest vocals, Rick Wagner on bass, Paul Reider you can find the band’s schedule at www. concern was how to stuff a wild bikini.

Theamplified Coffin Daggers on mandolin and dobro and the Add to this Eudocia Rodzianak’s vintage coffindaggers.com. – Malcolm Y. Knotte aforementioned Bill Gerstel on drums, the Vox Super Continental (you read that corSubmitted forwith youraapproval, band frozen in time… at least that’s how it seemed when the Coffin Daggers hit the stage. The band opened traditionala folk sound rectly) and back it with Peter Klarnet on secret could of theirbeauthentic, vintageas sound? by being thawed and later unfrozen like Austin Powers or Doctor Evil but by uswhich glibly described ‘Drop No,a not Peavey T40 Bass and last but not least ing much of the actual from that greatest of musical eras: the early rock and roll years. Lead guitarist and Theremin the Dubliners in the Pineequipment Barrens, and this formally trained percussionist Pete Mar’s Angelica player Victor Venom uses a Fender Strat and Jazzmaster as well as a Mosrite copy, all of which are played rk with DTR a M d n a is what they would sound like after three tinez on a “bread and butter” Pearl road rk Ma through a genuine Echoplex unit into a trashpicked Fender Pro Reverb amp (the kit, and you have a band that years of isolation”.

After playing a long kind with the “Rev. 1” spring reverb), which alone is enough to give this could easily fall in behind any set of “that folk songs (surprisingly longer than and band little extra push over the cliff…” instantly teleport the movie with fallout. And, as one would expect), the novelty wore off listener back to that time when a teen’s greatest concern was how to if the vintage sound wasn’t and band deftly to a more stuff the a wild bikini.

Addswitched to this Eudocia Rodzianak’s vintage Vox Super enough, they also featured modern sound, characterized by and one back it with Peter Klarnet on Continental (you read that correctly) a video accompaniment with a Peavey T40 andfirst last they but not least formally trained percussionist event-goer as:Bass “Wow, sounded clips from The Day the Earth Petesome Martinez on jug a “bread Pearl road kit, and you have a like Piney band and andbutter” suddenly Stood Still, Thunderbirds band go that easily fall behind any movie with fallout. And, as if the they allcould Rembrandts oninus”.

The band and many other hallmark B vintage sound wasn’t enough, they more, also featured a video accompaniment changed sounds several times movies. I had to agree with with clips from Day the EarthofStood Thunderbirds and many ending with anThe electric version RockStill,the guy standing next to me, other hallmark B movies. I had to agree with the guy standing next to Island Line which caught the audience however, who thought the me, however, who thought the video was a little superfluous: “I close my video was a little superfluous: by surprise, by in the eyes and seeas theevidenced same video mygenermind, and some other stuff from back “I close my eyes and see the ous amounts of applause they received. then, too. Remember Timmy Turtle? Duck and cover…” And cover they same video in my mind, and This is a band I would like to see again, did. With faithful renditions of “Jack the Ripper”, “Out of Limits” and “The

Clancy’s Ghost

The Coffin Daggers

Darkness and mental illness have always found a warm home in music, poetry and the stage. To say that madness breeds brilliance is an understatement when it comes to the work of acclaimed musician and poet Joseph A. Peragine. Peragine is a songwriter, composer, poet and documentary film maker, who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. Peragine has channeled his illness into two masterpiece cds; The Acoustic Diaries and Self Medication...Poems of Alienation both, in which he performs like his life depends on it. It’s because his life does depend on it. Based out of Cincinnati, Ohio, Peragine started writing, singing and playing instruments at the age of 14.

Soon, the majority of these compositions would depict his personal struggles with schizophrenia, which started taking up residency in his brain around the age of 15. This was the age he started to have episodes of intense paranoia, while displaying harmful behaviors not excluding an attempted suicide by blindly driving his car over 100 miles per hour in a complete free fall. Quiet disturbing is what makes up the death muse feeding Peragine his inspiration – and not the kind of experiences that most of us went through with the usual teen-age-puberty-growing upphase. The Acoustic Diaries is a collection of songs Peragine had written over an 8 year period while learning to cope and deal with schizophrenia. Calling it a, “short acoustic summary of my life,” the 17 tracks showcase songs flavored with sensitivity, some with flamenco overtones and the ever present urgency based around “the end.” Peragine’s singing voice is soft and a bit timid but most of the time, he is being swallowed up by 40

the frantic strumming of his guitar. He paints a picture, one of himself, throwing out a net, hoping to catch something worth holding onto. “Reality is a difficult thing to accept after waking up from the nightmare of schizophrenia,” states Peragine as he opens up this collection of work. Despite that, The Acoustic Diaries, is an autobiographical and musical journey, the compositions are easy going allowing the listener to forget what is being undone here. And it reeks of hope. The best kind - the kind that can make critics cry while listening along. Stalk, here you only find Peragine, his voice and acoustic guitar. The second release, Self-Medication…Poems of Alienation, is the complete opposite in delivery. A spoken-word, “instrumental album,” paints the terrible, lonely, isolation one goes through with mental illness or manic depression. Peragine speaks in tones similar to Henry Rollins and at the speed of a runaway train.

He breaks up with his shallow breathing yet doesn’t miss a beat. Every word he speaks holds merit. It’s unfortunate that Peragine had to experience what he has to get there but no one said true and good art was painless. The cd artwork displays a shirtless Peragine, who is cut with six-pack abs and inked up and down his arm. Thing is, he is deliberately burning his fist over an open stove flame. Look into his face and it all seems normal. Pieces on this release do not always explain schizophrenia.

Try the song, “Slut Party,” where Peragine expertly sums up the manipulative play women think they perform effortlessly while trying to control their prey. Or “The Shallow Chronicles,” where Peragine carries on a conversation with, ‘funny female.” By the end of the piece, the strange sensation of, “I know someone like that,” washes over the listener. And it’s downright sad. Because it’s in this composition that we learn that sex and intimacy is only a weapon to some. One that is eventually turned on and used to waste it’s owner.

Peragine’s biography is now

available in video format which can be viewed on his Electronic Press Kit or website. In the video, Joseph states, “This is me. I am turning my life around and in a lot of ways I’m not so different from you.” No longer is he cutting or physically hurting himself. Positively and more importantly, Peragine has found a peaceful and healthy plan for himself. One of these plans is expressing himself through word, song and performance.

For further information, or for review copies of Joseph A. Peragine’s music or writing, please contact Joseph A Peragine directly at joeperagine @ yahoo. com or contact publicist Sylvie M. Harris at Alpha Music Group: 212-330-8219 or e-mail info@alphamusicgroup.com. www.josephaperagine.com - edie

Alex Romero Melodrama

“Hailed as Björk’s male heir by his fans…,” boosts Alex Romero’s bio. If it wasn’t for his quick wit, I would have panned him (as you all know we here at DTR just can’t stand Björk). But after some communication with Romero, I figured, what the hey? I am being a rude critic and he is being, well, professional and grown up - two adjectives that just don’t work in my world.

Melodrama is a brilliant body of work, especially since it is a debut. I don’t know where the Icelandic dork influence comes in here but what is apparent is Romero doesn’t need it as Melodrama offers eight songs that travel between trip-hop to pop. Melodrama can sound edgy and experimental as well. Romero’s voice is strongly seductive whether he is singing over a guitar track or when he is rapping as his tone can be warm and vulnerable making this collection of songs personal yet, realistic and even laugh out loud funny. When the track, “Real Good View,” played over the Dig This Real office speakers, writers stopped what they were doing to take a second listen. Needless to say, the lyrics of this song got sung all day long. Another stand-out song is: “Great Unknown,” where a lazy cello makes an appearance, bringing an unexpected element, complimenting the soft guitar finger picking and drum beat. “Bittersweet Meme,” is a ripe, well-developed song, offering us a look into the vast talent Romero has. “Bittersweet Meme,” can fit anywhere: a yoga studio reception area, a sweaty after-hours dance club, or on Sirius’ Chill.

“You Don’t Have Me,” is the opening track of this release and it is here that we find everything: scratching, bottom-heavy bass beats, funky guitar tracks that peek out from time to time, cello and Romero’s shuffling vocals singing: “I’ll take you back if you promise you’ll be faithful to me/ Just kidding.” Romero states Debussy as an influence and similar to Debussy’s creation of Impressionist music, he is fearless with soundscapes, mixing and rendering the rest of his influences which can run from Afro-Cuban music and Radiohead. Can’t wait for a live performance and follow up from this genius. www.alexromeromusic. com. - edie

Beware Fashionable Women

With cd art that can’t be accidentally reminiscent of Ben Folds Five’s, Reinhold Messner, album, it’s pretty clear where these boys are coming from even before one pops in their cd. Or at least what they’re aiming for. Beware Fashionable Women is a Los Angeles-based quartet who on their LP debut seek to disavow allegiance to any particular genre, save that of the admittedly obsolete and generic ‘indie rock,’ willingly sacrificing potential popularity in favor of music they think a certain audience wants to hear. Their sound is less radical, experimental or meandering than this pseudo-manifesto would suggest, but it is still far from the boring stuff that tends to rise to the fore in their genre and which they’re trying to avoid. They align themselves with They Might Be Giants, Eels and Elvis Costello, but I’d posit that a good deal of their songs on their largely strong and immediately enjoyable self-titled release hearken to mid-career Nada Surf, Phantom Planet and Old 97s, a good thing, due to vocal and instrumentation similarities. The record suffers a touch from self-production, but not enough to sour the efforts of this talented, fun band with a great amount of potential, musicality and songwriting chops. www.myspace.com/bewarefashionablewomen - Corey Landis

Blag’ard Bobcat

Pig Zen Space

For a band that consists of only two people, man do these guys make a loud, large sound. And what a slippery, messy, pokerface of a sound it is! Blag’ard is Joe Taylor on guitar and vocals and Adam Brinson on drums and vocals. Singlehandedly, the two throw all miscon-

ceptions about ‘bands’ out the window as they trash about in the 14 songs found on their Bobcat release. Offering a full-band sound, most tracks travel at the speed of racing car yet, it’s never difficult to pick up the lyrics found at the choruses, offering enough time to cause a sing along. But the real key element here is the guitar sound and effects Taylor has branded as his own. Similar to the effects used on the mega wall of guitar sound found on My Bloody Valentine’s epic album, Loveless, we find Taylor doing this all on his own, without the excess of millions of guitar tracks. It’s such a sound, I find it hard to describe. But it’s something to marvel (if you are guitar fan like myself) and this guitar sound is what makes up the feel of Bobcat. It’s driven, loud, combustible, complex and dare I say – trippy. Both Taylor and Brinson share vocals and are not afraid to sing together. It is so true to a rock and roll nature. Bobcat also has a live recorded feeling while peddling a lo-fi vibe. Brinson’s drumming acts as bass and any extra ‘sounds’ that may be needed to fill an empty space, but during the song, “REM Show,” the drums are so powerful during the bridge to the chorus that it hits directly in the stomach. I also can’t be bias on my favorite tracks because, well, they are all good. “Shame,” is the one song that showcases the pure Blag’ard sound, as Taylor sings, “Can she make it to the sink/how much vodka can one ex-model drink/long legs and exotic name/now she’ll never be the same.” But don’t take my word for it. Listen to track #4 of this issue’s compilation and then go pick up this cd. Myspace.com/ blagard – edie

Breech Tarnish and Undress Hailed as one of southern California’s best indie bands, Breech have been making quite a named for themselves out west with both their records and live performances. Their latest release, Tarnish and Undress, paints a musical picture that is constantly changing and evolving from one song to the next. By using an array of different approaches, song structures and adding a steady stream of new instruments into the mix (accordion, banjo, autoharp, clarinet, etc.) each 41

song is markedly different from the one before it. The only thing constant in this indie-alterna rock mix are the haunting, raspy lead vocals of singer Missy Gibson. The band is strong but the unquestionable standout here is Gibson; the girl has got some pipes. Overall, the tone of this album is moody and minor with the occasional grunge moment thrown in for good measure.

Although many of the tunes are dark in nature, (one of the themes of the album is to address the idea of “beauty in decay”) none of them are confined to be so and some songs that start out broody and somber do not necessarily end the same way – “Safe Here” is one of these. One song, “Schubert Waltz” sounds like a demented carnival ride gone terribly wrong, but with Gibson’s snarls enticing you, it is still a ride that might be worth taking. Check them out online at www.breech.net. – Evan Bleier

Cloverleaf Spectrum

Spectrum, Cloverleaf’s recent 5 song ep, is a full on assault of pop-punk-piano-rock.

Complete with energetic choruses, suspenseful build-ups, sweet melodies and rocking guitar solos, this ep is an undeniable guilty pleasure.

On the opening track, “Dressed in Disguise”, the bands talents truly shine. Singer TJ Cornwall’s smooth tenor floats melodiously above quirky bass lines, energetic drums and well tailored piano and guitar. The catchy chorus, typical of Cloverleaf, is memorable, up-beat and easy to sing along to. Cloverleaf works best within the pop-punk zone in which they are surely most comfortable. Songs like, “Dressed in Disguise,” and “Head up High,” are standard, rock tunes that are pleasing and easy to listen to. These songs feature Cornwall singing in a low range – where his voice is sonorous, soothing and reminiscent of Bob Morris of The Hush Sound. It is when the band get’s too creative and Cornwall’s vocals start stretching a little too far, that the ep disappoints. For instance, on “Wishing Well,” the gang is clearly pushing boundaries stylistically and musically and they’re not quite there yet. Parts of the song reach for atmospheric, anthem glory, while others yearn to capture that 1920’s burlesque sound that bands like Panic At the Disco have helped make popular. Cornwall abandons his lush lower range for a typical, nasally, delivery and the song lacks the coherence that holds the other tracks together. This is a strong ep from a band that is destined for big things. Cloverleaf put their blood, sweat and tears into this demo and it shows. Head to www. myspace.com/cloverleaf music and check it out.

You’ll quickly find yourself singing along, clapping your hands and dancing…if you’re anything like me, that is. – Matt Giegerich

Collin Herring Past Life Crashes

A certain amount of pressure befalls anyone who goes out and trudges the road of becoming a recognized singer/songwriter. While you can back yourself with a collection of talented musicians and producers to enhance the three chord wonders one will display to the world, the real mark of excellence will fall on the name headlining the album. Collin Herring steps up to the that challenge with his album entitled, Past Life Crashes, as the guy going to rally the musicians behind him and push his songs out to the world with emotion and sincerity. He doesn’t fail at doing a good job of making the songs work to their strengths and putting out a quality record with some triumphant tunes. The opening track, “Cellophane,” is a soft rocking; self reflecting tune, but it isn’t until the third track, “Yard Cars,” where a real spark hit flicker on the disc. “Yard Cars,” is a dirty rocker in which it’s second verse states, “Yard cars, falling stars/we’re closing bars with open arms”. As a whole it seems to be a tune that reflects on a lost someone in days of more recklessness because Herring says that, “I went to church in my whiskey clothes.”

The next tune, “Pictures,” has a Replacements kind of vibe right around the, “Tim”-era. There is a melancholy feel throughout the disc particularly in songs like, “One Last Morning,” and “I Guess.”

The disc concludes with a tune that reminded me of something off of Liz Phair’s, Exile in Guyville, at least in production style and mood. This is a fine release from a solid troubadour. www.collinherring.com– Nelson Heise

The Dandy Warhols Earth to The Dandy Warhols World’s Fair Here comes another collection of psychedelic, street trash rock from Courtney and company. Earth to The Dandy Warhols, has a loose space based theme throughout a few of the tracks, but more prominent is the usual banter of drugs, sex and other self absorbed or defeating behaviors however you tend to interpret The Dandy’s

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way of looking at things. Being a casual DW fan and being more turned off by them after watching “DIG!” I tend to believe that Courtney TaylorTaylor is more self-involved then self-revealing in his material. That is not to say there aren’t good tunes that come from his brain, there just is a level of detachment from in his material. That being said, I did like this new disc and there are of course some stand out tracks like, “Welcome to the Third World,” with its disco-esqe beat and sexual overtones that conclude that boys like the girls and the girls like the money. “Wasp in the Lotus,” has a very familiar DW feel, solid melody and appropriate amount of distorted annoyance.

Then there is the sweet tune entitled, “Love Song,” that features classic rockers Mark Knopfler and Mike Campbell jamming out on it. Finally, I did like the cleverly titled, “Valerie Yum,” which if you take a second you’ll get the joke and if not listen to the tune (hint: it’s about drugs). It’s another solid output from these art rockers, they do what they do and they do it well. If you are a DW fan you probably already have the disc by the time you read this review. If you’re on the fence about DW, check out the aforementioned tunes before committing. If they float your boat, the rest of the album will keep you interested.

– Nelson Heise

Death Cab for Cutie Narrow Stairs Atlantic I think I’m growing up. I’m not sure whether to thank Death Cab for Cutie for helping me to arrive at this awareness of my state of maturity, or hate them for making a record filled with enough doubt and fear to give any normal 25-year-old a quarter-life crisis. To be fair, the band will most likely never live up to 2003’s, Transatlanticism, in my eyes. It’s not their fault I happened to pick up that album just as I was moving across the Atlantic Ocean and had been dumped by what felt like eight girlfriends in a row. Transatlanticism was good for me back then (and still puts me in a state of gloriously gloomy nostalgia anytime I hear those tracks). Though I was still sad, relatively lonely and just as nerdy as Ben Gibbard and friends appeared to be, it was a relief to know that plenty others were, at one time in their lives, depressed 20-year-olds, too. While in some ways, Narrow Stairs is a bit of a departure for the band, much of the album still treads in that same pessimistic, morose territory. Take the track, “No Sunlight,” for instance. No amount of bouncy, upbeat melodies can hide the lyrics, “With every year/that came to pass/more clouds appear/’til the sky went black.” Nevermind what appears to be a grammatical verb tense issue, the words just don’t fit the musical mood. It’s not that Gibbard is wrong in longing for the free, fun life of a child, it’s that we’ve heard this song before

and not just from Death Cab for Cutie, which is probably why the song is the band’s next single.

The real shame is that the remainder of, Narrow Stairs, isn’t like the first two tracks on the album.

“Bixby Canyon Bridge,” starts you in outer space with some really beautiful, swingy vocals backed with a lush landscape of swelling guitars before ripping into a swanky, almost Weezer-ish beat.

Then the band adeptly jams out the intro to the next track, “I Will Possess Your Heart,” (probably the creepiest title in the Death Cab for Cutie catalog) for 4-and-a-half minutes before the vocals even enter. But things don’t stay experimental for too long as the band trudges through, “Talking Bird,” and gets lost in a mess of overused metaphors about caged birds. Speaking of lyrics, for someone who has spent so much time crafting clever twists and turns with words, I find it hard to believe Gibbard couldn’t come up with a better way of describing a broken relationship as, “The ice was getting thinner/under me and you,” in the last track, titled rather obvious and boring as, “The Ice Is Getting Thinner.” Or, now that the band has pretty much tackled mainstream success, it makes lines like, “You can do better than me/but I can’t do better than you,” much less believable. Maybe I’m too old for this cd and maybe I have grown up a bit. But it would be refreshing to see Death Cab for Cutie build on what they started with the first two tracks of, Narrow Stairs, and step a little more outside their comfort zone.

- Kevin Walsh

rus chants and drinking anthems can wake the neighbors the next time you throw a party while your parents are on vacation. Myspace.com/dyslextasy – Cindy Chisvette

Dyslextasy

Futants

Live. Die. Repeat.

Dyslextasy’s Live.

Die. Repeat., is a simple and sloppy six track cd.

Following in the footsteps of bands like NOFX and Social Distortion, Live.

Die. Repeat., is that raw style of punk rock that makes you want to shout along with the repetitive choruses and possibly beat somebody up, if it comes to that.

Plain and simple, this is usually what I refer to as, “drinking music,” because that is the only time it will ever sound good. The music isn’t incredibly catchy, nor are the vocals anything to write home about, but the lyrics are down right hilarious. I personally think that the lyrics are the only thing this band has going for them. I guess that’s to be expected with band name like Dyslextasy. The sense of humor is dry but songs like, “Mr. Sunshine,” are amusing and something most people can relate to. Anyone that’s thrown a house party knows what it’s like to have a, ‘Mr. Sunshine’ show up, uninvited and drink all your beer. Dyslextasy can be good party music, if the majority of the party is incredibly intoxicated and hyper active. Songs such as, “Bug In A Jar,” and “Last Call,” continue to up hold the wild party, heavy drinking theme. Surely, Dyslextasy is nothing special. There have been many bands just like them and there will unfortunately be many more. Although I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt to have them on your Ipod. That way, the rowdy cho-

Ella Blame Bitter Tears

Ella Blame is one of the most difficult to define artists I’ve listened to in a while.

Just when you think you’re flying on a magic carpet you’re in that Jamariquoi video where the floor moves; halfway between a silvery Christmas jingle and a snowy coke dream.

Whimsical as all hell, Blame’s Bitter Tears album is an over-the-rainbow collection of electronic and ambient tracks bordering on the psychedelic and the ethereal. With a handful of international collaborators, the album has a variety of sounds and instruments ranging from Indian flutes to Celtic folk all generously sprinkled in Blame’s pixie dust.

Her highly robotic yet strangely sweet voice goes in and out throughout the album with operatic presence. http://www.ella-blame.com – Alexandria Kain

Pass Me The Butter Someone please explain to me why a smile comes across my face whenever I listen to Futants’ release, Pass Me The Butter. Could it be the title alone?

Maybe it’s the complete assult of metalness and screaming found on this? Maybe it’s because there are a few musical genres and stylings from grunge to prog rock being coupled here successfully? And only 8 songs?! In the infamous words of half-a-head-of-hair Britney, ‘give me more!’ Futants consists of guitarist and lead vocalist Evan Deubner , drummer Ethan Otto and bassist Matt Pachmayr. The only complicated matter here could be of a geographical portion - two members live in Kansas City and one in St. Louis. Pass Me The Butter was a basement recording, with a nice loud produced feeling and sound. The songs themselves display influences that ring true from Tool to Primus giving the listener a ‘never a dull moment,’ feel. The vocals sound ominous while lyrics run similar: “Cycle through another day on your way to your grave,” found in opening track, “Those Who Danced Are Thought To Be Quite Mad by The Deaf,” only offers a sense of dread we all have experienced.

But thank goodness for the metal madness this song rocks. “The Other Side,” leans towards the supernatural as Deubner sings, “want you to see/ all that I see/want to believe/things that I see/ but I’ve seen mountains that dwarf in size/and I’ve seen people on the other side,” as a swirling

wall of guitars follow a funky bass line. The track, “The C.O.T.A.S. Loop,” shuffles slowly at first and then trips itself up with stringy guitar and full-out drums. Oh and by the way? C.O.T.A.S. stands for “Creature Outside of Time And Space.” The cd artwork displays a horror-comic book feel also including a photo of a tray of table butter and though this may all look amusing, the listener will most definitely have to step back to fully absorb everything the Futants are doing. Myspace.com/ futantsrock - edie

Gym Class Heroes The Guilt

Fueled By Ramen From the guys who brought you Paper Cut Chronicles and As Cruel As School Children, Gym Class Heroes now bring you their third album, The Quilt. Never in my life have I heard a band mix rock and hip hop as smoothly as the Gym Class Heroes.

Other bands have tried to do it and the Gym Class Heroes have done it right. They are a band with both true musical talent and song writing skills and a great sense of humor. They embrace all styles of music on both, The Quilt and their former albums. Numerous cameos are featured on the album, such as The Dream, Estelle, Busta Rhymes and Fall Out Boy’s Patrick Stump. With so many people taking turns with the spot light on this album, it results in a lot of variety. Guitarist, Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo is also featured, singing in a few songs. Each cameo seems to bring something to the table with every song. Every song is so different from the one before it. The beginning of the cd is mostly hip hop oriented but later tracks mix the hip hop beats with amazing guitar skills and it actually blends together perfectly. Other tracks can not be considered rap or hip hop at all. Front man, Travis McCoy, never fails to be creative in his raps like in, “Cookie Jar,” where he metaphorically describes women as different types of cookies. “Cookie Jar,” also has an awesome beat, especially to dance to, incorporating the guitar. Other songs, such as, “Like Father, Like Son,” were more emotional. Emotional or not, the lyrics are steadily clever throughout.

This cd could just as easily be spinning in a club as it could be playing while you’re sitting on the couch, pondering the meaning of life. It caters to multiple genres of music and almost puts Gym Class Heroes in their own category. “Peace Sign/ Index Down,” which features rap veteran, Busta Rhymes, is the most well done song on the album. It is a meaningful and extremely catchy song featuring two incredibly talented rappers.

“Put up the peace sign, put the index down,” could very well be the next new catch phrase.

Disashi Lumumba-Kasongo takes the lead in, “No Place To Run,” and “Live A Little,” with some alternative rock ballads. The cd even goes a little in the direction of ska for, “Blinded By The Sun.” Gym Class Heroes’, The Quilt, is at least 43

worth a chance by anyone with a slight interest in popular music, whether that be rap, hip hop, alternative, punk, or ska. Even if you don’t like all the songs, there’s probably at least one song that caters to your taste. The Quilt is available in stores and on their My Space at www.myspace. com/gymclassheroes. - Cindy Chisvette

Juliana Hatfield

How to Walk Away Ye Olde Records There is something irresistible about Juliana. While at times she can be viciously clever, there have been times when she writes lyrics that seem to have been ripped out of an 8th grader’s diary. Of the albums that this reviewer has listened too, it’s hard at times to know what the real deal is with Ms. Hatfield.

Her latest, How to Walk Away, actually gives me some answers; musically the most entertaining and well-developed tunes of her catalog. Lyrically, they still trend that fine line between clever and immature, but with the assistance of her musical arrangements there is a level of sincerity that I haven’t felt before in her records.

The musical maturity is found in her choice of instrumental arrangement, letting pianos and organs do a lot of the work where she had guitar before. Hatfield still lays down most of the guitar work which is something I have always appreciated about her, but now she let’s more subtle instruments do the work and a song like, “This Lonely Love,” comes across like a Carole King tune, which displays Hatfield’s growth in her craft. Honest brutality comes across in the track, “My Baby…,” where she declares, “He used to look in my eyes and talk to me/but now we just have sex and watch TV.” Hatfield in the end delivers one of her best collection of tunes. Musically, this is far and above anything I have heard before from her and while lyrically there can be some lag, the honesty is still there. Perhaps that is what is most important because while waiting for her to twist a phrase, one should be satisfied that she is just telling it how it is. That is probably what keeps her going and allowing her to develop as a songwriter after more than a decade of work. – Nelson Heise

Lead Pipe Cinch We make a lot of mentions in this issue about drinking bands and we don’t mean bands that are drunk, breaking the law or having their mug plastered all over TMZ. We’re talkin’ music 44

that makes us instantly want to drink ourselves into a coma once the tune starts pouring out of our speakers. Lead Pipe Cinch’s self-titled cd makes no exceptions and will undoubtedly get tossed into this pile too. Sounding more like a cover band of no peculiar prominence, Singer Deborah Trabolsi sings as if she is a runaway train, desperately trying to catch her singing up to the fast paced instruments. It’s awkward to listen to. The rest of this release (other members share the singing duties) offers sloppy, guitar driven, anything goes (or anyone can join us on stage) type music. There are soulful numbers, piano driven numbers. It’s a whole big mess. And yes, I now know that Johnny Delgado is Dead.

But the greatest thing about receiving this press kit was when I opened it up to go through the material, almost instantly my office smelt like a bar. Someone obviously smokes in the band. A lot. Myspace.com/leadpipecinch. - edie

Liquid Roxanne

Snap The Lizard Shrunken Head Records There are around 14 musicians involved in the making of this recording. There are three separate bass players and tons more lead guitarists, making this cd ripe for gossip fodder. Unfortunately the only juicy news found here is that Liquid Roxanne, hailing from Toronto, states that the “band consists of three disturbed individuals.” In the center of the Roxanne are Wayne “Ice” Berge, lead vocals, bass and rhythm guitar, Rob “The Legend” MacEachern, “lead” drums and James MacEachern, lead and rhythm guitars. Why there is a huge listing of other musicians in the cd liner notes is beyond me and probably best uncovered. Like having a ZRoc moment, the band boosts appearances on Lawrence Welk and The Muppet Show(s).

But the weirdest of all is the fact that Snap The Lizard was apparently recorded sometime in the late 1990’s, “between hockey games and trips to Swiss Chalet.” All this seems profoundly true after listening to these songs. No one ever claimed that rock and roll needs to make sense especially to Liquid Roxanne. Also stated about this mysterious collection of songs, is that when it was first released, it sold a “mind boggling 27 copies worldwide.” And this very reason is obviously why the band kept a-rockin.’ Everyone knows that I am a sucker for anything Canadian. I have always felt Canadians are superior in all things music (think the Hip, Lightfoot, The Guess Who, The Beethoven Frieze) so there is a soft spot in my heart for Liquid Roxanne. Why they re-released this is beyond me but listening to Snap The Lizard is way better than watching re-runs of I heart the 80’s on MTV. All 12 songs here are reminiscent of every rock and roll band ever found in the hey days of the 1980’s, drama and all. It’s so apparent that the little nagging voice

in the back of my head is right. I am (we all are) being mojo’ed by Canadian hipness too quick to catch. But soon enough, I will be bitch slapped into reality when listening to this. It always happens when the string section moves in during the song, “Will You.” The band requests that all naked photos and lingerie be sent to Shrunken Head Records. So I guess I am going to have to continue my studies of Canuck culture until things make a little more sense. But I can strongly advise all those wishing to shave a few years off their face (and lives) by not signing on with that botox devil and get Snap The Lizard. Trust me. www.shrunkenrecords.ca - edie

Lisa Cerbone

We Were All Together It is no new news that Lisa Cerbone’s voice has the appeal of an angel - or the delivering power of childlike qualities that Mary Lou Lord or Karen Peris of the Innocence Mission display. Listening to her latest release entitled, We Were All Together, offers a calming sense of hopefulness. But heartbreak and pain is also here, somewhere, between the lulling voice and crisp strumming of her guitar. A sense of deep personal appliance is also apparent in We Were All Together. Maybe this has to do with the fact that Cerbone completed the writing and recording of this in between sleep/nap and school time of her growing children. Juggling motherhood and art is a bittersweet notion, one that many do not understand, but it can be heard in her voice and within the 10 songs here. Intimately, Cerbone sings about the upsets of disappointments, truthfulness in relationships and the largeness of love and life itself. Crafting handsome songs where a glockenspiel or keyboard make appearances, Cerbone showcases her obvious experience in music making. This one-time school teacher also packaged this cd with individual cards (or “photos”) where one can read the hushed lyrics, while learning that this collection of songs was dedicated to her now deceased father. Mastering a formula for originality, Cerbone gets high marks. In songs like, “Tiny Patch of Earth,” “Humming,” or “Mia Noelle,” it’s no wonder she has been featured on NPR’s All Songs Considered and was included on a cd compilation full of lullabies. But when one listens to the lyrics found in the song, “Change The Ending,” one is reminded of how true talent can balance poetry with gut-wrenching emotions with ease and defiance. www.lisacerbone.com - edie

Lords and Barons

Sangre Azul

Lords and Barons’ debut album, Sangre Azul, unleashes a wave of punk rock angst and a taste of ‘60s and ‘70s Rock and Roll. They are

a feisty trio from Los Angeles, California and they, “make noise.”

There’s not much to say about them, as individuals, but together they make raw and talented music. Listening to their cd reminded me of the bands I used to go to see when I was in high school; the ones that played in church halls and people’s basements and that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Lead vocalist, Kurt, has a whiney voice that would probably make my skin crawl if it wasn’t for the incredible guitar skills by Jake. Many of the guitar melodies are what give this cd it’s retro edge. He delivers an intro worth listening to in, “Sounds Like A Cop Out,” with Jannea on drums, keeping a beat that perfectly intertwines. The songs, “Wanderlust,” and “Schema,” are also fine examples of Jake’s guitar skills. “Schema,” is also one of the few songs on the cd in which Kurt isn’t completely whining or screeching. His voice may be whiney but it’s perfect for screaming, shouting and chanting, which makes up most of the vocals. He does sing with feeling, though.

The vocals contribute mostly to the grungy punk sound in their music. I have to admit, I have a soft spot for the style; the high energy, toughness and fast pace.

Together, Kurt and Jake make a great team combining two different styles of rock, while Jannea keeps a fierce beat on the drums.

I’d imagine their music could start an intense mosh pit amongst the right crowd. Lords and Barons’ music is available at www.myspace.com/ lordsandbarons. - Cindy Chisvette

Metallica

Death Magnetic Warner Bros.

When judging albums, is it fair to hold them up against a group’s earlier works?

With Metallica, this wouldn’t be fair since they’ve released classic albums such as Master of Puppets, …And Justice for All and their self-titled album – the one that would forever change the landscape of metal and popular music. When compared to Metallica’s last album, St. Anger, Death Magnetic is a solid return to proper form for the Kings of Metal. The band has dropped their unsuccessful experimentation with death metal and not only are the guitar solos back in full force, but so are the heavy riffs and dark lyrics. Some standout tracks include the single, “The Day That Never Comes,” and tracks, “All Nightmare Long,” and, “The Unforgiven III,” which opens with a somber yet beautiful orchestral arrangement. Metallica has created a solid album worth listening to that is a welcome return for the Kings of Metal. - Jose Ho-Guanipa

The Montana Boys The Montana Boys

Marie Black Water Me

Marie Black’s latest album, Water Me, brings me back to my teenage years in the Pacific Northwest. Soggy femme-folk playing in cozy underdecorated coffee shops; crunchy tattooed baristas sitting on the counter. The album covers a variety of genres from acoustic rock to Austin-induced twag, her former hometown, leaning on strong emotions and ripe convictions. Now fully injected into the Portland music scene, Black’s passion drips out during live performances while lyrics like, ‘faces of strangers are traces of luck,’ could stand alone. Her vocal style falls somewhere between that of Regina Spektor and Alanis Morissette, save the yelling. www.marieblackmusic.com – Alexandria Kain

Imagine driving from New York to Montana. As you traverse big cities, small towns and everything in between, your head will spin. The changing landscape will keep you constantly on your toes, eager, and perhaps a little bit scared. Now imagine putting this journey to music and you’ve got the Montana Boys - an innovative indie-rock act out of Michigan. Their debut self-titled cd is just like that massive road trip across country: exciting, fun and memorable at times, but also a little bit annoying and bumpy along the way. Frustratingly, inconsistencies define this album. For example, “What’d I Tell Ya,” opens the cd with a gritty, gnarly riff that gets the foot tapping and head bobbing. It is this cd at it’s finest – unapologetic, raucous, fast moving and exciting. Other tracks, like, “Big One,” however, drown in dripping, reverberated vocals and repetitive song structure.

Songs like, “The Big One,” and “Making Me Sick,” are well thought out and easy to listen to. Others, like “Mr.Rastafarian,” are sloppy, discordant and bring to mind what I imagine a drunken Modest Mouse to sound like. This song abandons the dynamic delicacy of the album’s finer work for tactless volume and frantic, albeit quirky, energy. Although for some bands this is a reasonable trade-off, the Montana Boys haven’t quite mastered the formula. Careless and unpredicta-

ble at times, thoughtful and innovative at others, this cd offers a fresh perspective on indie-rock song writing. Despite shortcomings, the Montana Boys have an ear for composition uncommon to their peers. At once paying homage to a wide array of influences, from classic rock to the blues, this debut album is certainly worth a listen. If nothing else, this CD is a journey full of surprises – just watch out for those unexpected bumps along the way. www.myspace.com/montanaboysrock. - Matt Giegerich

MOTU Going Back To Memphis MOTU is the moniker for Blues master Dr. Richard Michelson. Calling MOTU, “an Indie NY-based Blues recording artist and guitarist who has been on the scene for well over a decade,” Michelson has recorded one exquisite collection of songs found here on Going Back To Memphis. Accompanied with backing vocalist Dolores Chetta, drummer BB Skins Russel and bassist Roger Brown, it’s the magnitude of Michelson grasp of Blues music that rounds out this cd. Funny, my favorite track on this is the short yet powerful instrumental, “52 West 8th Avenue.” This is where Electric Ladyland Studios is located in New York City and exactly where Going Back was recorded. What makes Going Back to Memphis more of a rite of passage is the actual sonics of this cd. Put it on and automatically you feel like you are on some highway, truckers in tow, heading to Mississippi, or, you are at your favorite watering hole, familiar drink in hand, eager Bartender awaiting for conversations to begin. Blues music is about taking a little from here, a little from there and mixing it all up in a cauldron of sound and emotion. Some Blues musicians also take the entire damn original composition and just re-record it. Michelson does not walk this walk. He writes all his Blues numbers, clearly stamping his distinct imprint on each one whether he is playing his smooth, slide guitar or honkin’ on his harp, giving each number a unique yet identifiable feel. This shouldn’t be a surprise though, because MOTU has released well over nine cds and has a strong web fan base as well as holding the title, “2008/2009 Regional International Blues Challenge (IBC).” Add to collection. www.motu.net - edie

Narayan A King Declares Strength Similar and in vain of bands like Incubus and Jimmy Eat World, Narayan mixes it up with bombastic guitars, a bit of electronica, scratchy dj jams and a run for the money intended for the rest of the aforementioned bands that are listed 45

as Narayan’s ‘influences’ found in their press release. Here you will find processed vocals that end up sounding like individual instruments against the non-breathing kind, while the rest of the instruments spiral in a conformed manner producing a mixture of melodic songs against dare I say, pop gems. If you can get over the incredibly catchy material found here, Narayan is trying to cut out a niche for themselves. Their safe house can be found in songs like, “Caught Up In A Casualty,” and “Metastasis (From The Creator of Swans),” where the sextet showcases just exactly how sagacious they will travel in order to separate themselves from the likes of their own influences. And they succeed.

The response to, A King Declares Strength, has been tremendous, landing Narayan spotlights on radio as well as being offered a tentative slot on the Vans Warped Tour. Hailing from New Jersey, Narayan is Thom Becker on drums, Bahadir Erdem and Russell Helfman on guitars, Patrick Preslar on bass and keyboards, Argiris Hristofis on keyboards and vocals and Vyom Pandit on vocals and keyboards. It is Pandit who masterminded the superb recording of A King Declares Strength, doing the producing (mixing and recording) on this release.

Narayan, take a bow. Myspace.com/Narayan - edie

close out this collection. “The Ocean,” an epic at eight minutes long, offers a sleepy, twangy feel, while the latter is another rock number. McTrustry states that these songs are a reflection of ‘this important stage of my life,’ and since art made from life experiences is always the best, Excursions is can be a nice yet uneventful, safe bet. www.myspace.com/nigelmctrustry - edie

Olio

Living The Dream Have you ever been on a long drive in a friend’s car and they put in a CD labeled “(Insert Friends Name Here)’s Mix” and the subsequent music causes you to question the validity of the friendship? You’re sitting there in the car, the miles flying by, marveling at how tepid your friend’s taste is and half-heartedly masking your own musically induced nausea until finally, in order to save the friendship, you throw the CD out the window while they are taking a leak in the Shell Gas Station bathroom and claim no knowledge of what transpired. I’m not saying that Olio’s, Living the Dream would wreck a friend-

Excursions

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Riviera

Save Yourself ep Ruffiano Records

Nigel McTrustry I must admit that when I first heard this release, I wanted to scratch my eyes out.

But then after a second and third listen through, things started to wane, but just a little bit. The wobbling voice of Nigel McTrustry is something that wears on you, like a perfect fitting sweater. During the opening track of his latest demo, “Face,” a rolling, lazy harmonica plays along making the tune sound like it belongs on Neil Young’s, Harvest, album. But when second track, “Go,” came on – I was ready to flee the room. “Gold,” offers more of a bombastic, rock sound. It is here that I can’t help but find McTrustry sounding like Robyn Hitchcock desperately trying to channel John Lennon. Lucky for him, an other worldly connect has been made.

Before you call me heartless, the only song on this cd I didn’t care for too much was the flat, boring as hell, “Evaleen,” a song written to McTrustry’s new born daughter. I find the song too predictable, premeditated and painful (for us Sex and the City types) to listen to. This song has McTrustry’s strumming an electric guitar, traveling in no particular direction, joined eventually with another guitar track and tambourine. “You’re my little girl/and you shook my world.” Well, hell yeah, mister! What did ya think? That babies grow on trees?!? “Something to Behold,” and “The Ocean,”

This is what comes to mind when listening to the 5 song demo Penny Relentless has released. But this isn’t the garage scene perfected by Guided by Voices, where hours, maybe even days would go by, while millions of beers would be consumed and zillions of minutes would be wasted on discussions about the greatness of bands like the Beatles and The Who - and then wham! - brilliant music would be produced. Sadly, this is not the case for Penny Relentless. Fronted by Abby Kincaid, this guitarist and vocalist struts her stuff with a punk, fuckyeah, man attitude. This ‘tude tries to make its mark in the song, “Johnny’s Great Mistake,” the strongest track on the release. The song reeks of potential but the rest of this release displays the need for more concentration and focus on what this band is actually trying to achieve within their sound. Myspace.com/pennyrelentless - edie

ship, but it could come damn close. The guys in the group all seem like they are very earnest and have the best intentions (they supposedly are thematically aiming for a sound akin to Stevie Wonder’s In the Key of Life) but the stringently produced, overly sentimental, quasi-pop music that they put forth sounds like a codeine-dosed Weird Al Yankovic covering Sugar Ray’s greatest hits. Check out a tidbit of the poetry that makes up the country club rocker, “Soccer Mom:” She wears her Prada like a jersey/ Not afraid to get a little dirty/ Drives her kids from here and there and everywhere/I don’ think she’s wearing any underwear….” Good luck to them, but I hope none of my friends have this album. If you want to check them out, you can listen or download their music for free at www.oloimusic.om.

– Evan Bleier

Penny Relentless The Trial of Penny Relentless Volume ii Be Rentless Records Have you ever had the experience of coming across a band found jamming in the garage?

Offering a slightly eclectic sounding collection of songs, albeit only 5 total, could only be a slight, painful tease to the disconcerting ear. Riviera skates on solid ice through these 5 songs which include pop-ish, spacey genres. The vocals of Tim White (keyboards and bass) are soulful, smooth and vaguely familiar despite that a comparison will not make itself known to this critic. But then again, Riviera’s songs here are all very much guilty of that. Maybe it’s because it’s not suppose to be – the ever so eager placing of the always-so-off comparisons. The guitar work of Joe Crowley and Brian Neubauer may draw some influences of others (Riviera lists Flaming Lips, D’Angelo, Pink Floyd, Radiohead and M. Ward as some influences) yet, each track offers a fresh composition so different from the last one and completely unpredictable to the following.

“Brighter Day,” touches off with some slight drama as a strolling bass line accompanies a piano track.

“Save Yourself,” is a song I could listen to over and over again. Each piece of instrumentation fits perfectly here to my ear, meshing together in a pool of sonic bliss. “Hollywood,” sounds like an anthem of sorts, as White sings, “she said not tonight/she said not tonight.” I am not sure if he is singing about a person or an overall subject matter. This is ok with me because Riviera’s music will allow this aspect – allowing the listener to slightly obsess over things here. Scratchy guitars poke around the song, “Division,” but trumpets also make a strong appearance, melting everything together wonderfully. Overall each song offers this edgy, dissonance feel to it, similar or not to songs you have heard before or never at all. www.iheartriviera.com - edie

RTX

JJ’s Got Live RaTX With a title like, JJ’s Got Live RaTX (no, it’s not a live album and the last word is pronounced “rats”) you have to 1) be batshit crazy; 2) have some laser-focused vision (including a sense of humor and an obsession with the Pied Piper) or 3) have giant metallic balls. RTX have all three. Following the trajectory of their previous two albums but tweaking it into a scorching perfection, RTX can now comfortably step outside of the shadow cast by Jennifer Herrema’s previous band the Royal Trux. JJ, sounds like a god of thunder clad in some Paleolithic monster’s furry pelt standing in Angus Young’s boots on a mountain of sunlit doom, spewing hexes in a vocoded typhoon. It’s thick. It has swirls of pristine sound (honed and unleashed by producer Nadav Eisenman) that are a new type of head music; one that borrows equally from Suzi Quatro, GN’R, Phil Spector and a hair-metal band that teleported here from the distant future where cock-rock plays all day in spaceships and guitar solos don’t ever loose steam. It’s more relaxed and live-sounding than RTX’s two previous outings. It feels like a band getting it right and knowing it--or that moment when some muscle builder flexes precisely as the steroids kick in.

Starting with a pulsating synth orgy, “You Should Shut Up,” opens into a mix of riff and hook; imagine Neil Young’s Trans band (but pissed off) tearing through ELO’s “Don’t Bring Me Down.”

Guitarists Jaimo Welch and Brian McKinley play with distortion like cats play with yarn. It bounces around, changes direction, stops, lingers. Drums swell. Bass humps your ear. Vocals come back in waves. The band let up the fury for the cd’s highlight, “Cheap Wine Time,” which comes off like a Rolling Stone’s ballad circa the 1970’s. Like all successful ballads, “Wine,” keeps the tempo slow, the groove hip-shaking and the hook/chorus simple and catchy. Herrema coos, “can you freeze time when you see me there,” in a way your mother might have sung when you were 4, sticking it in your brain forever. It works like a jingle, convincing you that cheap wine is somehow exactly what is missing from your dissatisfied life.

At some point the world is going to catch on to RTX and every third kid sucking up a Slurpee outside of every 7-11 will don an RTX shirt and faded jeans. I still think that, “Speed To Roam,” from their first album is a massive hit waiting to be re-discovered and played at all sporting events in all lands. Until then and until they play the halftime show at the Super Bowl in 2020 (give or take a year and a dozen gold records) they will hopefully keep to the path that they are on and continue forging into thick, dark places yet uncharted. www.myspace.com/rtx. - Jeff Hassay

Skywire to write on the hearts of others North Carolina band, Skywire, sound like they are not entirely sure what they are all about. At times this quintet can sound like they are going for a hard rock sound and at others their sound has emo written all over it. Most of

this confusion is rooted in their vocalist’s awkward transitions between a high-pitched whiny singing style and an almost Deftoneslike scream. The band that he fronts is solid and their decision to have a keyboard instead of second guitar is one that works wonders for them. The keys offer a much needed reprieve from the standard edgy rock sound and some of the synthesized sounds that they choose give many of the tunes a texture that would otherwise be sorely missed; “Doctor, Doctor 7-Old Souls” is a good example of this. Taken as a whole, this cd has its moments but lacks the cohesiveness and stand out songs that really make a good release. www.myspace.com/skywire.

- Evan Bleier

The Syncope Threshold

End of the Beginning Most of this cd is as heavy as lead.

Structured around a blistering two guitar attack, the sound of The Syncope Threshold is not for easy listening fans and probably not for or casual metal fans either. The songs range from heavy and fast to heavy and faster and ratcheting drums and quick, calculated guitar rifts are present throughout. Distortion is a factor. Vocalist Joe Garcia alternates between an angry guttural scream and a surprisingly clean, melodic singing voice while delivering lyrics that are frequently tough to catch, but often do a nice job of linking up with the exact notes his guitarists are busting out with. In fact, most of the cuts on the cd are laced with melodies, but they pop up and disappear so frequently that it is tough to keep track. (See “A Faceless Enemy.”) For fans of the genre who are really into heavy drumming, laser quick guitar playing and dynamic arrangements, End of the Beginning, would probably be worth at least a listen. Just adjust your stereo’s volume level accordingly before putting it on. www.myspace.com/tstband - Evan Bleier

Until Further Notice Until Further Notice released their second album, self titled, in April 2007.

The cd, while promising at times, falls victim to many conventionalities of the pup-punk and rock genres.

The vocals

are nasally, the melodies uninteresting and the guitar and drum parts are equally mundane and predictable. Further, the musicianship is sloppy and the production amateurish. On “Lost Again,” singer Sam Decker attempts to channel a fierce, driven sound as he sings, “And so I’m lost again/I can’t seem to find my way/I’ll get there no matter the cost.” The lyrical content throughout is similar: misguided, high-school talent show clichés and over-dramatized, sentimental dribble. On top of that, the lead guitar in the song’s intro is slightly out of tune (not uncommon on this record) and the double bass drum is overbearing and unrelenting. In short, the production leaves a lot to be desired. Still, the band shows some good song-writing insight on tracks like, “Naïve,” a slow, stripped down acoustic number. Here, Decker’s vocals drift soothingly over intelligent muted guitar lines and simple bass. Unhindered by complications, this song exhibits Until Further Notice at the top of their game. Although, for the most part, this album flails helplessly in the sea of pop-punk mishaps (along side the last 10 or so NFG records, and various Blink182 debacles), there are moments where potential is clearly exhibited. Although these guys might not be experts yet, you can hear that they are working hard to hone their craft. When they learn to turn a blind eye to the expectation of their fans and the expectations of the genre, the band might write some great songs. Until further notice, however, (I couldn’t help myself), keep this disc off the rotation. www.myspace.com/ufnband.

- Matt Giegerich

The Walkmen You & Me

Be Rentless Records Even when the songs aren’t as good as they are on their stunning album, Bows And Arrows, as on this new effort, The Walkmen are just great to listen to; credit singer’s Hamilton Leithauser’s Dylan-y whine and the Lanois-ish production, with its dull voodoo drums, trumpets, sleigh bells and guitar work that sounds so far away you doubt they’re even recording on the same city block. “In The New Year,” is a stand-out and features a drumless verse that kicks into gear in the chorus, with the help of slip-slidy organ riff that keeps everything delightfully off-balance. The cd creates a great, consistent, uniquely-Walkmen atmosphere throughout and features arrangements few bands would be bold enough to attempt. The only thing missing is when a great, hooky, well-crafted song like, “The Rat,” meets the stellar musicianship and production, this band can’t shake. Maybe next time. But in the meanwhile, this is a very good recording to keep you company while you wait. - Corey Landis

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Wiretree Bouldin

In describing, playing and listening to music one can’t easily escape the “sounds like” game. Having worked as a security guard at concerts in my youth I found that the yardsticks most often used by people that don’t have an ipod packed to the hilt were the Beatles and Pink Floyd: Rock or pop bands were described as “kind of like the Beatles” and if any weirdness ever emerged then the band became the new Pink Floyd. I have heard everyone from Rush, Radiohead and Phish be comfortably placed in this category.

Record reviewers are no different from minimum wage security guards although we usually have bigger ipods and a predilection to use The Velvet Underground and Big Star as comparisons as opposed to something that our parents could comprehend (see the aforementioned: Beatles, The). The problem is that one can never completely describe the sound of a band by mentioning other bands—it gets you in the ballpark but it doesn’t show you to your seat.

Wiretree’s new and first album, Bouldin, has been described as a mix between Sparklehorse, The Shins, ELO, Elliot Smith and Tom

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Petty. I would add Teenage Fanclub to that pot, especially in the way that the mid-volume powerpop vocals float over the glowing acoustic harmonies amidst mid-tempo beats. And the song, “Notion,” sounds a lot like Fanclub’s, “Mt. Everest,” particularly in the almost exact way that “notion” and “ocean” are pronounced. I would then underline the Shins reference and bring up tinges of Beatles and Floyd. Hell, why not, they’re in there.

The problem is that so many bands can be described in such terms. They cast a wide net. Also, the terms are a little meaningless and bands are easy to mention. I bet if I wanted to show off I could find hints of Travis and The Replacements lurking about. Perhaps descriptions should only come in mystical terms like; ‘Wiretree conjure a feeling of an owl party in some well lit, cozy cave where one sits on a couch made of clouds but has their heart broken in slow motion.’ Too far? They do kind of sound like that. Or maybe how a fuzzy beanbag would sound if it could write songs.

Maybe the comparisons speak to how strong this Americana mellow rock sound is and how influential most of these bands especially Elliot Smith and the Shins are. It is a big ballpark but a pretty one and it carries on traditions of classic and contemporary rock.

Wiretree carry this torch. They, well he (the band is basically one guy; Kevin Peroni) don’t really challenge any norms as say the Velvet Underground did or reinvent their genre as oh-I-don’t-know, um, Big Star did. The sound is something of a tasty minestrone soup correctly seasoned, not too spicy with a few little tasty

chunks (the falsetto in “Big Coat”, the doubled vocal effect on “Don’t Feel It”). It would fit well on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy or playing on repeat in a dorm room. There are hints of a bright future. An ingredient or two added, maybe a stronger chorus here and there and the soup could be riveting. For now though, Peroni is perfecting his skills. - Jeff Hassay

Mike Gordon Highline Ballroom New York, NY

Tucked away on the far west side of Chelsea, the Highline Ballroom has been keeping music fans relatively pleased by offering quality music and relatively fair ticket prices (the drinks could use a little work). This venue has quickly become a hot spot for up and comers trying to get their collective feet in the door and big name acts looking to play somewhat more “intimate” shows.

With its classy location next to the neighborhood’s one and only Western Beef grocery store (garish orange sign and all) this venue always seems to have people selling extra tickets out front (room for one more….), is always packed on the inside and is never short of people selling high end nitrous balloons outside after a show lets out.

Iconic Phish bassist and certified strange fellow, Mike Gordon, took to the stage with a new supporting cast, resulting in a show that was loose, jammed out and fun. With a four piece band backing him, (guitar, keys, drums and percussion) Gordon was in his zany element, leading songs from the bass perspective and taking all that would join him on a musical jaunt that covered some familiar ground that felt like home. The tunes all sounded familiar but the twists and turns that Mike and his group put on them were fresh, kind of like new car smell mixed with rain.

Mainly playing songs from his solo catalogue, “Cactus” hammered away his bluegrass and roots based songs, belting out lyrics about heartache, trains, whiskey and leaving in the morning. With his distinctively earnest singing style, painfully honest words and experienced,

precise bass grooves and hooks, Mike was able to take these otherwise unremarkable songs and make them slightly uncomfortable but also extremely accessible and danceable while being played live.

On more than one occasion the band would be in the middle of a fairly standard medium tempo roots-grass song and then, like flipping on light switch, morph the sound into frenzy of escalating guitar riffs, pulsing rhythms and cymbal splashes. Things would get Phishy very quickly and then, just as fast, go back to the normal pace of the show.

Throughout the night there were also various guest musicians. Guys from opening band “The Bridge” added their musical contributions to a few tunes towards the end of the night and were present on stage for a super funked out horn laden extended version of C&C Music Factory’s (Yes, that C&C Music Factory) “Things That Make You go Hmmm.”

All 3 hilarious verses of the song were rapped, soloed over, broken down and busted out before the whole thing concluded with Mike trading phaser soaked bass runs with a beat boxer who had joined the band onstage for just such an occasion.

(My apologies to the musicians for not catching their names but the only introduction that I caught was Mike identifying a few of the players as Joey Arkenstat, a fictitious musician that Mr. Gordon

has been rumored to release albums under the name of from time to time.)

Other highlights were a rollicking version of the Doobie Brothers, “Takin’ it to the Streets,” complete with improvised lyrics about taking the bus and SUVs, and a fiercely drawn out encore of Robert Palmer’s version of grungy rock tune “Spanish Moon.” People who went to the show trying to get a little taste of that old Phish magic had probably gotten their fix.

At the very least the Highline smelled like a Phish show for most of the night and, for brief moments, kind of even sounded like one. Likewise, anyone who came jones-ing for some bluegrass harmonies (or some weirdness) probably walked out the door quite satisfied. Mike and his band were able to run the gauntlet and slay the dragon…..too much nitrous. It was an enjoyably diverse night of music orchestrated by a solid group with a continually emerging musical leader in Mike Gordon.

– Evan Bleier

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Benji Hughes El Cid Los Angeles, California

Saturday night, Los Angeles. A drummer, bass player, keyboardist and guitarist take the stage, waste no time talking or tuning, and start right into a Parliment meets Motown slowburner. There is a country vibe going on despite the Eddie Hazel flurries of orgasmic guitar playing over a drum/ bass rhythm that R. Kelly could turn into endless hit songs. Maybe it’s the guitarist’s leather fanny pack or the keyboardist’s shifty eyes but something seems strange.

Right on cue, after about 6 minutes of tension building, in stumbles the singer and namesake for the band: Benji Hughes. Clocking in somewhere north of 300 pounds (does the stage add 50 lbs—or maybe it takes it away?), Hughes looks like some Wolfman lovechild of Michael McDonald and Meatloaf. Big beard, long hair; my guess is that he owns a van and that he would make a good drinking buddy but a bad babysitter. Shirtless, portly and donning yellow sunglasses Hughes literally entered falling down, whereupon he laid on the floor in a Fabio pose and sang with a cutting crooner voice that was every bit ghostly and timeless as it was incongruent with the rest of the band’s (or his own) vibe. Not that the band (or Hughes’ beard) lacked grace but his deep baritone voice was an unexpected velvety ray of moonlight. It was like this guy walked off of left field onto the stage and the field was on some grooving spaceship in the mid 1970s.

To Hughes, every song is a love song, even if it is about seeing the Flaming Lips or a drunken Mummy. It somehow resonates as longing and lustful. This explains why his recently released album is called, A Love Extreme. The line is straddled between funny and heartbreaking, a line that so few people can successfully accomplish (Jonathan Richman and Daniel Johnston come to mind). The songs found some middle ground between R&B and Country Rock, like Hughes is aiming to make each one a long-lost AM radio tune. There is some sort of poetic brilliance to the line, “Maybe I’ve been waiting too long for somebody to throw my kind of party.” The chorus has a golden minor chord in it that yanks at your heart and makes you want to hug the big lug who is pouring beer down his gullet while spilling his guts so succinctly. It is like he is winking at you with a tear in his eye and though neither emotion may be totally sincere, both make for a good performance.

At one point Hughes was singing on top of a ladder, at another he was on the floor. Seeing him sing and trudge about the stage (usually with a beer or two in hand), often leaving as soon as his part is up and returning to sing a moment before his part starts, was oddly funny. And mesmerizing. His gestures, occasional between-song banter and general demeanor were more clown than crooner. The lyrics were comedic too but where one line would be lighthearted, the next would often be tragic and emotional; Like Harpo hamming it up with the Marx Brothers and then awing everyone with a serious song on his piercing Harp.

This all came as a pleasant surprise to me since I had no idea what to expect. I didn’t know that Hughes just released his first album on New West, a label that also dons Ray Davies, Alice Cooper and Steve Earle. Or that the band has been making waves with their bombastic live show, recently supporting Rilo Kiley on tour.

Unfortunately the album doesn’t capture the strange wonder of the live show but no doubt there were others like me that had their interest piqued and will be back for more. - Jeff Hassay 50

Mogwai Terminal 5 New York, NY

The crappy thing about working a 9 to 5 is the unfortunate necessity to sometimes stay overtime, thus infringing on your job as a freelance journalist to review a show and forcing you to miss the first band’s set. That being said, I missed Fuck Buttons and will be unable to write about their live performance.

Blame it on 9 to 5’s. I will assume it was pretty incredible as the UK-based band is amazingly fitting to play with Mogwai and that they inevitably pushed some buttons.

Mogwai however, I was in perfect time for, perfect time to be able to see for three songs with my photo pass and then crouch on the second floor balcony under a table, watching Mogwai through wires, as though in a boxing ring. Terminal 5 is a giant venue.

They should probably hold ballets on their stage if they don’t already do so. The five-piece was unable to fit this enormous stage but their sound was able to fill the entire venue with vibrations and lulling post-rock ballads that could suffice as a lullaby for robots.

The Glasgow band started quietly and humbly; one could detect the scent of marijuana wafting through the crowd because stoners love post-rock and it loves them back. It was hard at first to accept how giant the stage was and that unless each member weighed 300 pounds, it would just look slightly barren. Despite the couple of hecklers and the extremely bright strobe lights, Mogwai was able to create a rhythmic, swelling feeling of being underwater, not drowning, but remaining stagnant, setting the mood for the rest of the night.

Each song rises and falls with twinkling and buzzing that leaves you breathless by the end of seven to ten minutes. The gritty sound of the guitar combined with the earthy, naturalistic qualities of the drums brings forth a modesty on stage. The music they play allows for listeners to be themselves, to do whatever they do at concerts. The barrage of pedals and glittering guitar parts create a platform for both the introspective and the head bangers to come together and enjoy the same thing. Though there was physical distance between them, the connection to each other through their sound was unmistakable and wafted into the audience.

Through Mogwai’s entire set, there was no time to worry about missing the first band, or losing keys or being alone. Their entrancing, muddy, blisteringly intense breakdowns flooded my mind as I watched hundreds of heads bobbing in unison. That night at Terminal 5, Mogwai proved that there are multiple ways to enjoy a band and I got to do it from under a table. - Lauren Piper

Brian Wilson Hollywood Bowl Los Angeles, CA

Watching Brian Wilson sing songs about surfing, love and California at the Hollywood Bowl, accompanied by a large band of over a dozen spot-on musicians and an entire symphony orchestra is somewhat akin to watching Zeus throw lightning bolts from the sun-drenched clouds of Mt. Olympus. It is lovely. Maybe that’s why by the end of the show when actual fireworks lit up the warm Los Angeles sky, most of the audience took it as an inevitable given; an evening of this level of shining wonder would need fireworks or maybe endless spewing rainbows to adequately come to an end.

Wilson offered little variation from Friday to Sunday night (the nights he performed), most notably was the addition of, “Do It Again,” and a cover of, “Johnny B Goode,” both in the latter show. He seemed a little more at ease on Sunday, having two days of performances to clam his once crippling stage fright that kept him away from performing for decades. Friday night played like a rehearsal. After finishing a pristine, “Good Vibrations,” Wilson got up and hurriedly walked offstage in the Frankenstein-meets-Ozzy Osborne way that he awkwardly moves his body nowadays only to have a singer go and fetch him back for another five songs.

Sunday saw a looser (well, slightly) Wilson who even engaged in some banter with the audience, dedicated a song to the victims of Hurricane Ike and he ad-libbed something that I found slightly profound. After coming back from a break between sets, Wilson said, “We’re back officially.” What an odd but simple sentence.

The set started with two songs from Wilson’s new album, Lucky Old Sun, and ended with another one. In between was all Beach Boys gold, usually delving way back in the catalogue. Sadly no solo material was played as Wilson sometimes did on his previous Smile tour (most notably was a gorgeous version of, “Love and Mercy,” a song that is still a monster hit in some alternate, perfect universe). The audience was in it from the get go, favoring, “Sloop John B,” “Catch a Wave,” and a firework laden aurally orgasmic, “I Get Around.” My favorite, though, was the impossibly beautiful, “Surfer Girl.” The song is a wonder of simplicity and earnestness as Wilson’s voice shimmered and the accompaniment of Beach Boys background harmonies was flawless. There is a moment of awe at the end of the song where the vocals become falsettos calling in a shrill of ecstasy, “…little one, little one...” It is magical on record but live with pitch-perfect bandmates picking up the chant the song was lifted, there was a vortex that opened bleeding some other, newer dimension of spinetingling happiness. I’m kind of a neurotic sissy but at those two moments, Friday and Sunday night, I no longer feared death.

- Jeff Hassay 51

Fleet Foxes Somerville Theater Somerville, MA

There’s something to be said about a band that’s so good they almost entirely drown out the drunken idiots who somehow make it to every show I attend.

I swear these same two guys sat behind me at Radiohead back in August, where they needed to prove that they knew every lyric but, sadly, had no idea why the terms, “pitch” and “tone” are so important in music. Thankfully, the Fleet Foxes understand this.

The Somerville Theater (appropriately located in Somerville, Mass.) is the perfect venue for the Fleet Foxes. Though the band commented it was their first time playing a sit-down theater (and promptly requested, in a cute little passive-aggressive way, that everyone please stand), the setting really couldn’t have been more appropriate for their, “baroque, harmonic pop jams.” Lead singer Robin Pecknold’s voice carried and reverberated throughout the entire hall while beautiful pastoral harmonies swirled underneath. The band flexed

their vocal muscles right off the bat, opening with the a cappella, four-part harmony tune, “Sun Giant.” Any one of these guys has the vocal chops to front a band on their own (and, with further research, I’ve discovered that some of them have at one point done so).

Pecknold pushed his voice hard and downed roughly 300 bottles of water in the process. The best moments were the subtle changes from the recordings to the live performance which added harmonies and slightly different melodies. It’s what keeps people coming back for more every night because no show is exactly the same and it’s why live music will never die. Josh Tillman’s drums sounded more like timpani than anything else, thundering the group through epic moments in songs like, “Your Protector,” or “Sun It Rises.” The way the band could, meander (vocally and instrumentally) slightly off time together and then back again was truly remarkable.

Pecknold treated the audience to

a solo encore. At the end of the stage sans microphone or amplifier, he bellowed his voice up into the highest corridors of the theater and then sheepishly said, (while everyone stood star struck) “I hope that carried well enough.” Oh it did.

So, if you haven’t heard by now from all the buzz the Fleet Foxes have been getting, these guys can sing quite well. And with so much ease you’d almost hate them if they didn’t come across as five of the nicest people you’ve never met. They were clearly confident as musicians, but humbled by the warm reception from the crowd. Even as they left the stage following a stand ovation for the full band encore, Pecknold sincerely looked as if he didn’t want to leave, sneaking in a few last waves to the crowd from the wings. We let him go, but we weren’t happy about it. Fortunately there’s always the hope of a new record and another tour. myspace.com/fleetfoxes

David Byrne The Greek Los Angeles, California

David Byrne has long lingered in the realms of experimentation and artistic freedom. He blurred genres while helming the wildly successful and yet wildly strange 80’s supergroup the Talking Heads. He is an artist, photographer, film director, blogger, soon to be published author, music enthusiast and not to be overlooked; dancer. His performance at Hollywood’s Greek Theater was billed as the music of David Byrne and Brian Eno (with whom he just completed and released his second album) and who acted as producer and ersatz band member for the Talking Heads’ formative years.

The focus was pure (only diverging from the Brian Eno theme once for, “Burning Down The House,” a song receiving something of a resurgence now due to the new Oliver Stone film “W”). The most surprising and impressive part of the evening was not the music or the Talking Heads songs, some of which have never been performed or the seemingly un-performable, “Help Me Somebody,” from the first Eno/ Byrne album My Life In The Bush Of Ghosts but the performance itself. The music was solid. The dancing was a wonder. Most songs featured dancers clad in white flailing around in unison to Byrne’s music. This emphasized two of his strongest attributes: playfulness and a constant rethinking / tweeking of “dance” music. Byrne’s whole career can be viewed as an exercise in showing how broad that term is.

Seeing Byrne participate in the dancing shenanigans in his deadpan way was a special treat. From choreographed turns syncing with the dancers, playing a song from a chair that slowly turned around, to franticly running in place with guitar strapped around his lank body, Byrne explored the terrains that his music isn’t afraid to tread. During, “Life During Wartime,” he starting jot52

ting around, doing calisthenics much like he did during the same song in the seminal Talking Head’s performance film, “Stop Making Sense.” In the film he also undulated in a large suit and sang to a lamp.

This performance displayed Byrne slightly more low key in a toned-down white suite matching his white hair. With his short, silvery locks and glimmering eyes, Byrne has gone from a young, preppy art student to looking like a shaman stockbroker on his way to do stand-up comedy.

He shook his hips and knees like he was channeling Steve Martin channeling Elvis with every bit of wackiness and un-ironic rock and roll grace left intact. From up tempo barn burners like, “I Zimbra,” to a more subdued, “My Big Nurse,” that utilized its nerve aching beauty while still maintaining a foot tapping beat. Byrne’s energy reminded me a little of Jonathan Richman (who supplied the Talking Heads with keyboardist Jerry Harrison and some sort of a psychic inspiration to mix punk with dance and other genres that are unashamedly uncool). Like Richman who will give in to a song’s flight of fancy in the middle of it, Byrne explored the song for it’s sound and feel letting the dancers roam free and shake about in ways that were modern and yet childlike. It didn’t feel gimmicky or cheesy. - Jeff Hassay

Motörhead House of Blues San Diego, CA

Motörhead is a group that shows/holds no pretense(s). They have been sticking to their guns, their style and their tried and true essence for a very long time, which in this case, is positive (AC/DC is another story and not a very pleasant one from my perspective). They have a history of over 30 years and despite many lineup changes, the lead-dog has always been the inimitable Lemmy Kilmister. With that said, I could probably fill many pages about my appreciation and wonderment regarding this instantly recognizable cult figure. Who else in show business has even attempted to rock those gnarly moles? Kilmister used that as part of his image, or at least, he has never pursued any superficial motivation to have them removed. And that makes me curious: “Did he realize that the moles could become one of his signature features, or, did he just really not give a fuck?” I would prefer the answer to be the latter, but I would be satisfied if I could get a clear confirmation of either theory. Music, show business and entertainment… these things have always been largely about beauty, perfection and aesthetic competition, and yet, Kilmister’s naturally gruff exterior has become an important part of his legend. If you think about it, he is no different than someone like Elvis Presley, but Presley consist-

ently primped for his stage act, whereas Kilmister lets the world take him as he is, moles and all.

As someone unfamiliar with the band might be able to guess, just by looking at Kilmister, the same sort of ethic applies to the music of Motorhead: While other bands attempt to capture perfection, whether it is in terms of production, composition, or image, Motorhead seems to just “let it all hang out.” In comparison to so many of their peers, most of their recordings, up until the last decade or so, were done with so much more attention to feel and vibe, and to capturing that Motorhead essence. One of the best comparisons to me is Motorhead versus Def Leppard. It is true that Def Leppard has probably sold a ton more records than Motorhead, but look what they had to do to accomplish that! Def Leppard literally scrubbed nearly all of the grit and dirt out of their sound and their tracks to make those, “pop metal” radio hits. With Motorhead, on the other hand, the grit and grime are essential elements. Okay, I think you get the point!

This band must have done something right, because there I was, in San Diego on a Wednesday night. Drummer “Mickey D” took the stage first, and ya gotta love him! He is this little, Italian, drum-pummeling tank and his neck seems to be about two feet wide! I have seen a plethora of rock bands in my day, but few drummers come close to being as solid and strong as this guy. Later in the evening, as he usually does, Kilmister would introduce Mickey D to the crowd as, “the best fucking drummer in the

world!” And, you know, especially with Kilmister’s gravelly voice and stonewall conviction, it is a pretty believable claim.

The crowd began to push forward and then out came Phil Campbell, lead guitarist. Like Mickey D, Campbell strikes me as having a super-solid, no-bullshit kinda personality. Finally, from the right side of the stage, out came Kilmister in tight black pants and white cowboy boots and the crowd went wild. Everyone smashed forward in one big effort to get as close to the front as possible. I was lucky and strong enough to make it all the way between the first and second rows. They opened with, “Dr. Rock,” which is not one of my personal favorites, but the packed room became supercharged. Thankfully, they followed up with, “Stay Clean,” which is a great, in-the-pocket, Motorhead classic, and I was officially enveloped in the experience.

While I could go on about the set list, I would like to take a moment here to say two things: 1) since Motorhead is such a rough and gruff act, they bring in some of the most gnarly, oil-changin’, tree-splittin’, tobacco-chewin’ dudes to their shows. Now don’t get me wrong, I have no problem with any of those professions or people, but it adds to the experience, because the pits are proportionally intense and the show therefore becomes more physical. And I approve of rock shows being physical, I mean, I do not mind if they are full-on mental, emotional and physical assaults, if that is what the music can incite. So, San Diego brought out some crusty bastards, which is both expected and accepted, and it was a constant but fun battle to stay in the first two rows. 2) Motorhead is truly the loudest band out there as far as I can tell (that is, without scientific testing and proof). Only a few times in my life have 53

I left a concert with enough trauma to my hearing that all sounds seemed to be pitched up about an octave or two and each time has been at a Motorhead concert (including this one). While I do not condone hearing loss at all, in this case, I forgot my earplugs. But I made the sacrifice. I walked out of the venue and as my friend talked to me, it all sounded like he was speaking in a chipmunk voice.

Next to discuss in the highlight reel is, “Metropolis,” which is a low, rumbled, dirge sort of song from around 2001. I like to think that Kilmister wrote it about Los Angeles, since it can be a pretty grimy place. The group does not have too many down-tempo numbers, but this is one of them and was really grinding along on this occasion. No matter what kind of sludge came from Kilmister and Phil, Mickey D held it down so strict and tight, making for an excellent concoction. The end of their pre-encore set featured two of my all-time favorites, “Killed

By Death,” and “Iron Fist.” “Killed By Death,” is kind of mid-tempo, so it is right in between, “Metropolis,” and, “Iron Fist.”

Mickey D delivered an amazing backbeat that makes the song pulse along with an almost-sexual rhythm. One of the most important elements of the tune is the great chord progression and the band drove it home just right. The song fit together like a puzzle! Then, “Iron Fist,” is another great example of the classic

Motorhead sound with a moderately fast pace, Kilmister’s signature bass riffs and the famous hook, “Devil’s grip, the iron fist!” It was impossible for the crowd not to pump fists and growl right along.

After performing “Iron Fist,” the band left the stage and it seemed like the party might be over. But, after a few minutes, some crew members brought out some acoustic guitars. In another minute, the band appeared right up front, with Mickey D sitting on a stool and manning an acoustic guitar. Kilmister appeared front and center, standing without an instrument. They proceeded to play, “Whorehouse Blues,” which is one of the only Motorhead acoustic numbers and one of their only tunes that is truly bluesy.

I could not really hear a lot of the lyrics but it was a cool change in both style and dynamics and I can imagine that it added something special to the show for many in attendance. The evening closed with what are probably the two most famous Motorhead songs, “Ace of Spades,” and the epic, “Overkill.” Every legendary group has those songs that are ‘must-haves’ and these two are definitely those songs for Motorhead. “Ace of Spades,” features their most well-known hook (which is now even more notorious since it was recently featured on an AT&T commercial) and everyone in the venue chimed in on that clinching line.

“Overkill,” opened with Mickey

D delivering the song’s trademark, relentless double-kick drum pattern with smooth, controlled efficiency. Then Kilmister broke in with his simple but classic distorted bassline. The song then roared along for about four or five minutes and paused. Then Mickey D started up again with the double-kick and as Kilmister soon joined in after and the train was rolling once more! Another three minutes went by when they paused yet, again.

And they ramped up for one more round!

I mean, this is how the song was originally recorded as well, so I expected it, but they still kill it every time, definitely confirming the title of, “Overkill.” I think it would have been more natural if the original recorded version was just one straight shot of about six or seven minutes, but they tracked it in the studio just as they would have done (and do) the song live, with the pauses and the restarts. Throughout both versions there is that tremendous, pulsing, exhausting double-kick drum and on this night it served as a proper final climax. For lack of a better conclusion, I think that the San Diego show surely met and even exceeded my expectations for a Motorhead gig, complete with a raucous crowd, way too much volume and those timeless, crusty Motorhead hits. And fortunately I can confirm that Lemmy has not done anything too crazy: He still has the moles!

- Nicholas Miller

The Veils

Paradise Rock Club Boston, MA

The opener set can be a difficult one. So it’s a testament to The Veils that either most of the people were there to see them or they won over a good chunk of Liam Finn fans in the process of lowering the boom in Boston’s Paradise Rock Club.

Touring the US after wrapping up recording a new album, The Veils interspersed new and old material into a set that was far too short (under 45 minutes), yet still intensely raw and personal.

While The Veils live set is a bit thinner than their records – missing string arrangements, backing vocals, etc – it is interesting to hear the bare bones songs for what they are: well-written, emotionladen stories of anger, grief, despair and 54

the gloriousness in sometimes letting it all burn to the ground.

In the spirit of minimalism, singer/guitarist Finn Andrews treated the crowd to a solo version of, “The Wild Son,” from the group’s first album. The Runaway Found, of which Andrews is the only remaining member. Of the new tunes, “Three Sisters,” stood out, building over the course of a few minutes from a sultry beginning to a hammering ending and, “Sit Down By the Fire,” a big, somber number that somehow ends up being quite uplifting and enchanting.

All in all, it makes me very hungry to hear the new album (promised for some time early next year). Myspace.com/theveils – Kevin Walsh

José González

with Twi the Humble Feather The Stone Pony Asbury Park, NJ

Stumbling into the José González show was more than a treat, a gift, with the biggest, velvet bow on it. Actually, it was opener act, Twi the Humble Feather that greeted me first and they were so magnificent, I must pen something on them in the near future!

I have been a fan of José González since his days knocking around with chill hipsters, Zero 7. With Zero 7, he could be found showcasing a song or two against the presence of Indy darling Mia Furler. In his own right (or “Nature”) González has released brilliant, stalk, lonely cds that reek of the same isolation of deceased musician Nick Drake. Striking acoustic numbers stack up against his thin voice with maybe a hand clap or the appearance of a harmony vocal. In between his cds, Veneer, and In Our Nature, his involvement in Zero 7 and another collective of

musician called Junip, González has been on tour. It actually seems like he hasn’t stopped traipsing the world. So when a scruffy, González crept onto stage this evening, it almost seemed like he was just sleeping there, awakened to find an eager audience waiting for him. Even the applause from the audience was sleepy, as to not jar him up too much. Humbly, he climbed onto a stage stool with two other accompanying musicians (who delivered percussion and vocals).

Quietly, yet in an influentially seducing manner, the trio traveled through material found on Veneer and In Our Nature and despite that González’ music displays an introverted feeling, it was warmth and a sense of belonging that flooded the Stone Pony on this night.

Rarely looking up from his fret board, seeming even shy to the intimate crowd, some strong moments came when he performed, “Teardrop,” which seems larger sounding on the cd yet with all on stage, the song became a symphony of percussion and frantic strumming. I love when I am at a performance and you can hear a pin drop. This is what happened at this moment. Like a hypnotic spell, the audience was completely drawn into the song. When “Lovestain,” was performed, the audience’s reaction was similar to the reunion of two people who haven’t seen each other in ages.

González played his older material like this throughout the night, treating the material from Veneer like it was archived in a time capsule. “Lovestain,” consisted of González’s quick paced guitar pattern and one of his accompanists hand clapping and sometimes we have to remind ourselves that mu-

sic should be experienced like this in order for it to truly crawl under our skin and let it flow directly to our heart. At times, González’s songs felt different from the original records. How could that be, you ask? It’s just a guy with a guitar. But González has that something that not every guy with a guitar possesses. I call it the Billy Bragg element. Not that González sounds anything like Mr. Bragg, but it’s Bragg that can strap a guitar on and stand there alone and move mountains. González has the same talent and element. It may have to do with the relationship he has with his chosen instrument.

Who knows? When he started to wrap up his show, he said, “We are going to play our last two songs,” to which the audience interrupted him with a soft moan of disappointment. “Well, these two songs are each 30 minutes long,” is what he offered back, not to upset the delicate balance with the beautiful art he was now spoon feeding us.

I found it amazing that not one person left their post during his performance, as if glued to the ground. As he finally climbed off stage to a round of drinks offered from the club, I couldn’t help but think about this Argentine-Swedish one time Biochemist student turned troubadour, who was getting himself ready to head back on a tour bus and onto the next city. With such strange and different contrasts in life’s paths, those with similar desires always seem to meet at the crossroads. Thank goodness, González has supplied the soundtrack.

- edie 55

Rancid

Henry Fonda Theater Los Angeles, CA

There seems to be a trend in the rock concert world as of the last couple years. Established bands are doing these multi-night residencies in major cities with five to seven nights all at the same venue. I am assuming that this is related to the rise in fuel costs and so with less traveling, this ought to drastically reduce the group’s overhead. On top of that, being in endless motion on the highway can get old after awhile, so it reduces that additional annoyance for groups that are on lifelong tours. With that in mind, I say, more power to ‘em!

Rancid recently finished a six-night stay at the Henry Fonda Theatre in Los Angeles, California (also known as “The Music Box”) and I was lucky enough to catch one of the six shows.

When I first arrived, there were still two opening bands left to play and the place was relatively empty. I began to wonder if the hall might remain somewhat vacant, which would allow me to partake in a semi-private Rancid concert.

I mean, with six nights in a row, it must be hard for any group to consistently sell out every date at the same venue in any given city. But, despite my hopes, by the time the stage crew was prepping for Rancid’s set, the place was fairly packed. That then made me wonder if the other nights were equally packed, or if I missed out on a more unique experience. The crowd was awaiting the band with extreme fervor and almost seemed to be festering in a way. My memory of the last Rancid show that I saw (which was many years ago) was that the audience was quite intense and that the concert might have been the most energetic offering that I had ever 56

seen from a rock band.

The mojo of the group was surely one of the most striking and impressive elements of that gig. They played as if they were playing with their entire beings, bouncing around up there and slaying the big open chords, while still driving home the melodic leads with focused emotion.

After about thirty minutes, the members of Rancid hit the stage and the place went off! The first twenty rows became one big organism, ebbing and flowing in some abstract pattern. I always enjoy the feeling that the crowd, the venue, and the band are unified as one, and Rancid brought out the right people to make that happen, at least at first… After a few songs the “large organism” became split by a large circle pit that was generally only inhabited by a select few weightlifter-types and this became more bothersome than fun.

When I first saw Tim Armstrong and Lars Fredricksen up close on this occasion, they looked very familiar, but it appeared that they had aged quite a bit.

Both guys used to have tall, pointy Mohawk hairdos that really punctuated their images and represented their music and ethos with an inspiring sense of rebellion and defiance. Armstrong now sticks to wearing a black fedora which is fitting but carries less impact, and Fredricksen has a short, cropped cut that appears to be a bit on the thin side. Fredricksen was closest in proximity to me during the show and his face gave the impression of having been through some really tough times. What else can I say… my heroes have aged, and I do not particularly enjoy it!

Inversely proportional to the rise of their ages and experience, their overall energy level seems to have decreased in comparison to the memory of the last Rancid concert that I attended. They still looked to be enjoying themselves and were not stoic or stagnant by any means, but they just did not have that insane fire that I saw in them before. In their

defense, this might also be largely related to the fact that they had played the same venue on the previous two nights! I guess I would have had to have seen the first of the LA shows to be able to make a more objective ruling on their current level of rocking-out.

Despite dealing with the reality of aging, the show was really enjoyable. I had not seen them in a long time and they played so many of the classics, including a handful from their self-titled debut album as well as many from “…And Out Come the Wolves”, which is their most popular release to-date. I would say that a vast majority of their songs have great sing-along hooks and the crowd was loving it, singing right along with all the well-known lyrics, as well as many lines that no one has ever really deciphered due to Armstrong’s cotton-ball-mouthed/drunken-poet delivery.

The audience, myself included, seemed to have no problem making up sounds or alternate words to fit with some of the less-comprehensible (but still remarkably melodic) passages.

More and more I am realizing that the condition in which one finds oneself at the end of a rock concert is a serious indicator of how good the show was, and thanks to the pit and the up-tempo punk party songs, I ended up completely soaked in sweat; Thanks to a couple of Neanderthals from said pit, the sweat was mixed with whiskey that had been propelled from my cup and onto myself and some under-aged kids in front of me. So, while I was a little disappointed to see the band looking a little older and bouncing around less than they may have in years gone-by, it was still so much fun, and I hope to see them again soon. Next time, however, I would prefer it if they would just play one supercharged show instead of spreading their fire amongst six!

- Nicholas Miller

Higher Elevations lead to Lower Expectations

About three and a half hour drive southwest of Denver lies the glitzy, golden snow playground that is Aspen, Colorado. Aspen is a destination for the elite, a place to see and be seen, where the elevation of the mountains helps bring celebrities and Hollywood darlings closer to their astral counterparts. The town is unnervingly accessible and easy to navigate considering the fact that it is up in a part of the mountains that would probably be deserted were it not for skiing and tourism. Probably at least partially because so much of their livelihood stems from these easily eliminated revenue streams, the locals are friendly and

helpful to visitors to their town and have no problem pointing out landmarks and points of interest. (In my opinion they probably also have one of the highest rates of fake breasts per capita in that nation but I’m no doctor.) One of the most important of these places is the bus stop.

Throughout Aspen and the surrounding towns and villages, including Snowmass, a free bus service operates from early in the morning until late at night. This service takes workers to their jobs, two timing housewives to their affairs in town, and drunks back to where their wobbly legs are forced to take over for the rest of the way. This service is great for the environment, the wallet and the general demeanor of almost everyone you meet.

The bus will take you to and from the airport and generally is on time, clean, and doesn’t get bogged down in too much traffic. It was the main way that the hordes of music lovers, party animals, and scenesters were able to get around Aspen and Snowmass during the 2008 Aspen Jazz fest.

Since 1991, Jazz Aspen Snow-

mass, a not-for-profit organization, had made it its mission to present and preserve Jazz, American and popular music through world-class festivals, performances and education programs. Basically Jazz Aspen puts on a variety of different events, concerts and festivals, charges admission and gets corporate sponsors and then uses the remaining money to cover expenses and fund an all-scholarship jazz residency program for gifted young artists. What that has come to mean is every Labor Day Weekend, the locals brace themselves for the onslaught of annual invaders that they know are coming. Like Vikings under the leadership of Khan, they descend.

This year the lineup was ripe.

Two nights of jammed out Southern rockers Widespread Panic, a Saturday night show with the irrepressible and irreplaceable Bob Dylan, A Sunday show bolstered by American standards Dwight Yoakam and John Fogerty and a Monday matinee with Colorado’s own Yonder Mountain String Band who were rolling into town still warm from their performance at the 2008 Democratic National Convention. Ziggy Marley, Xavier Rudd and Global Noize were just a few of other bands rounding out the lineup. Prospects were high and things were looking up, up, up.

For the duration of the festival the primary base of operations was an inn at the very top of Snowmass village.

This particular section of Snowmass was directly next to an area they refer to as “The Mall.” There ain’t no Mrs. Fields up there though.

The only things that were really happening in this “mall” were a few loosely clustered bars, some ski and outdoor gear shops, a liquor depot and some classically themed food stands that claimed to be authentic but didn’t really smell the part.

There was also an emergency clinic that I was fortunate enough not to see the inside of. There was a 57

grocery and a gas station within walking distance, but from the top of the hill they seemed much, much farther away. For the most part we remained at the top and were content with what was there. I wouldn’t say it was laziness; more of a diluted sense of what constituted entitlement. Many of the other guests of the inn seemed to share our sentiments.

Most mornings the tiny poolside area was packed with hung over, dilated but otherwise jolly people who were content to lounge, crack a beer and sit for the duration of the day until the show they wanted to see was set to begin. The definition and description of the “natural beauty” of the area was rapidly changing.

Higher elevations lead to lower expectations.

(Hold on a second. Before I get too far ahead of myself let me just take a brief moment to give a shout out to that really cool guy who stole the tip jar from the Snowmass Village taco stand after the Bob Dylan show.

Unlike the other “specialty” food places in the extremely limited atmosphere of Snowmass, this taqueria was open early, affordable, and stayed open late.

Unfortunately after the Bob Dylan show, some really progressively thinking individual took it upon himself to steal the tip jar from the only business in the area that was not only serving after hours, but also doing it at less of a profi t and had good food to boot. I 58

actually saw this jackass come stumbling down the beautiful, curvaceous, garden path that could be seen below our room, drop and shatter the glass jar, run away and then proceed to taunt the taco stand employee who had diligently chased after him in an effort to recover his hard earned tips. Probably the biggest dick move I saw the entire week I was in Colorado. That or the Palin nomination.)

Personally, I burn too easily to sit by the pool. I contented myself through the days by slinking from one slice of shade to another, beer in hand, sharing a silent cheer with all who would raise a glass and salute what a stellar place in time this was to be. The weather was great. The music was loud, close, and constant. There were some of the most beautiful mountains in the world within walking distance and climbing them was recommended but it was OPTIONAL. No one needed to be a hero.

During the course of our stay my associates and I climbed to the top of a mountain but also dug our way down to the bottom of a bottle of Beam. Both were endeavors of the heart and all felt the burn.

The daily activities and substance intake made the trips down the hill to the concerts very interesting. During the late afternoon people would begin to congregate near the main shuttle depot at the top of the hill. Generally there was a good deal of smoking and drinking going on while everyone stood around and waited, resulting in some very erratic, but high-spirited, lines for the bus.

Most of the drivers seemed okay with trying to fit as many people as possible into the confined area of the vehicle and the increased payload didn’t stop them from taking corners tight and quick. The rides actually might have been nerve wracking were it not for the hours worth of partying that usually preceded them.

I did see people ingesting things on the shuttle but I never saw anyone purging; vomiting was considered unprofessional.

Given that in the past I have reviewed a few of the bands that played at the festival, the focus of this part will be more on describing the concerts as a whole. The Jazz Aspen stage was at the base of Snowmass and huge, mountains flanked it on either side. Like the objects in a side-view mirror, they were definitely closer than they appeared to be. The concert area probably could have held up to 10,000 people but most of the shows were probably only around 5 or 6 thousand, give or take. There was tons of room to drink and get down at the back but for those of us who desired to get closer to the action, picking our way up to the front by avoiding the footfalls of lawn

chairs, blankets, and passed out baby boomers was possible but difficult. The bands all seemed to feed off the energy of the setting and filled the vast, open space that they had to play in with some great music that only made the area and shows seem that much more special, like those of us in the audience were privy to a secret that no one else knew about.

The late sunsets (usually in the middle of the headlining band’s first set) were a site unto themselves and looking from the front few rows back at fellow concertgoers, watching the sunlight slowly losing its sparkle across their collective faces, was a great view indeed. Except for the guy with this spinach in his teeth; there’s always one. My only real complaints are that a few of the shows ended a little earlier than I had hoped that they would because of some sort of noise curfew and the house beer was Miller Lite, but for whatever reason, none of the locals seemed to mind. Higher elevations lead to lower expectations.

In my opinion, if you ever get the chance to go out to Colorado and attend this festival, jump at it. The unnervingly small plane that takes you into Aspen may scare the crap out of you, but when it touches down on the ground and you get a chance to see where you are, it’s worth it. There is lots to do and lots to see and if you are at all interested in fake jugs, they are in ample supply. A few other things I recommend are:

- Eating some sort of fresh buffalo or elk product; jerky, meatloaf, steak, whatever.

- Driving up to the continental divide and taking a peek; it’s a long way down.

- Going out to Red Rocks and seeing a show. Any kick ass story you have ever heard about that place is probably true. One of the most naturally impressive places I have ever been. The stairs are also really intense. Do not fall down them.

- Making sure you get your beer at a liquor store and not a grocery store, gas station, etc. For some reason only liquor stores can sell beer with the full percentage of alcohol. The other places are only selling weak stuff. Don’t be fooled.

- Telling your bartender if you are too sloshed to drive. In Aspen they have an initiative called the “Tipsy Taxi” which provides free cab rides home to people who have declared themselves unable to operate a motor vehicle. The roads up there are crazy enough as it is, so keeping drunk people off of them is definitely a gold star idea.

- Keeping your expectations high, regardless of the elevation. – Evan Bleier

Creative Moms

The Multi-Tasker & The Rock Star

Lots of moms have jobs outside the home, but some of us take multi-tasking to the next level creatively. We love our children, but we crave some quiet time, some time to do what we want to do. And to be able to incorporate your creative time with your kids and family, well that’s just a big fat plus. In addition to being a mom to a 3 year old, I work as a graphic designer full time and started my own business, AJKArtistry.com, crafting handmade cards and personalizing invites for customers all over the world. After 2 years, I can’t imagine a day without it. I involve my daughter as much as possible, which eases the guilt a bit. She plays with my left over adornments and makes up her own special cards, and the two of us sit on the floor and paint together often, me with my project and she with hers. My hobby-turned 2nd fulltime-job is exciting, fun and yes, tiring at times, but it gives me a much-needed separation of work I have to do- versus work I want to do, and truly enjoy doing. Not to mention, provides me with some invaluable bonding time with my daughter.

Kristin Hersh takes this concept on the road and manages to incorporate even more family time into the equation. A singer-songwriter, guitarist and recording artist, for more than 20 years Kristin has performed all over the world, solo and with her bands, 50 Foot Wave and Throwing Muses. Amidst all of the rehearsals, road trips and plane rides, she has always had a little ‘extra baggage’, so to speak: her four sons - Dylan, Ryder, Wyatt & Bodhion have always gone on tour with her.

Sometimes the younger boys needed a little encouragement before embarking on these long, “family trips,” and at times like these, Hersh would tell them about “Toby Snax,” a story she developed to encourage her children to be open to travel and embrace new experiences. Now published, Toby Snax is a great book to keep stashed under the seat when the, “are we there yet?” question comes up in the car, especially for kids ages 3-8.

It’s easy to read, her illustrations are bright and cheerful and even if the kids can’t read yet, the book will keep them busy.

This combination of Mom-time, work time, me-time, all while

creating a way for the kids to be happy in the process, is the ideal multi-tasker’s dream. - Alison Kooney Kristin’s book can be found at http://www.throwingmusic.com/ store. Learn more about AJKArtistry at http://www.ajkartistry.com

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While most teenage girls are busy with homework, boys and part time jobs at the mall, Erika Walton, hailing from California is preoccupied with ideas of her own. At age 16, during a typical babysitting job, an idea came to her while beading bracelets and playing with matchbox cars. Walton brought her idea to life by gluing a series of vintage matchbox cars together, to form a bracelet. This now coveted bracelet would eventually launch a hobby that would pioneer Walton’s jewelry design business called Alter Ego.

My introduction to Alter Ego Jewelry happened during my attendance at the London Edge New York fashion show at the Javit’s Convention Center.

With my first glance at the Alter Ego booth, I wondered to myself; ‘what is a toy company doing at a fashion show?’ It wasn’t until I made my way over to get a better look that I realized what Ms. Walton and her designs were all about. Upon realizing that her toys were attached to jewelry, I had to know all the details on how this idea came about.

Aside from matchbox cars, Alter Ego Jewelry features a wide array of vintage toys and cartoon characters from the 1960’s, 70’s, and 80’s. Betty Boop, the Care Bears, Cabbage Patch Kids, Barbie, My Little Pony and a vast variety of Disney characters can all be found amongst the Alter Ego collection. Strung with vibrantly colored vintage beads and buttons, these pieces create a look that is classic and original at the same time. This look is like nothing I have ever seen before, yet it represents so many well known characters and fond memories of old TV shows. I couldn’t help but reminisce about my childhood as I admired the Ninja Turtle necklace on display. Not exactly fit for the Ball, most of these pieces provide a more youthful, eccentric appearance, rather than a preppy or mature approach to style.

Each piece is hand crafted and one of a kind. They are more like works of art than jewelry. Some of Walton’s jewelry pieces include Barbie doll heads and she goes the extra mile by taking the time to style each of the Barbies’ hair individually, using glitter and glue to form wild, sparkling up-dos. Walton says this can be a time consuming and tedious process. Every bead, toy and character is a representation of her imagination and creativity. She puts genuine effort into each piece, demonstrating a unique thought and idea with each creation. They always say it’s the thought that counts!

Now 21, Walton’s success with Alter Ego Jewelry has reached limits she never could have fathomed, while beading bracelets with the young kids she was baby sitting for. What was once a mere hobby, soon turned her into a successful entrepreneur before she was even old enough to vote!

Alter Ego fashion is available in over one hundred boutiques world wide and for wholesale or retail on the web at www.alteregojewelry.net. The collection has also graced the pages of Cosmo Girl, Elle and Teen Magazine and is adorned by celebrities such as Paris Hilton and the Olsen twins.

The only question left for this budding designer is, what will she come up with next? I had a chance to chat with Walton. Here’s what she said.

Dig This Real: Which piece is your favorite or the one you wear most often?

Erika Walton: My favorite pieces are the Car Crash bracelets and the My Little Pony Necklaces! They are both very chunky and eye catching.

Have you considered branching out to clothing design or other

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accessories besides jewelry?

I originally wanted to do a fashion line and a boutique but my jewelry became in demand and took over my life.

Which celebrity would you be most pleased to see wearing your jewelry?

Well, Paris Hilton, but she already wears it! But I would love if Madonna, Chelsea Handler, Sofia Coppola (or have my pieces in her movies!), Kate Moss and Cameron Diaz would wear my jewels. The Olsen twins and Mischa Barton also own my pieces and I could only wish that they would wear them more because they are great too!!

Which pieces are the most difficult or time consuming to make?

They are all time consuming but the most is defiantly the Barbie bracelets because they can take about a week to make!!! Or the “What the F@$K necklaces because they are so charm-y. I have to add so many layers and the Car Crash bracelets - those are HARD to put together!

Which pieces are the simplest to make?

I don’t feel that any of them are simple because I have to design, choose out the beads and put them in the order I like. It’s easy to string but not easy to always make it look FABULOUS!!!

Growing up, what were some of your favorite toys?

My favorite toys were Care Bears, Polly Pockets and My Little Pony. I would make a whole little world and play with all the characters and my mom would blast music.

Are there any popular designers that you admire and look up to?

I LOVE Heatherette! They are my favorite and I told them when I first met them that I was going to work for them! I’m also a huge fan of Anna Sui, Fornarina, Custo Barcelona and Forucci! Anything that is different with crazy designs and brightly colored, is so ME! What is your favorite color to work with?

That’s so easy! Pink and teal. They are my favorite colors.

Where do you go to find the vintage toys you use to make these pieces?

Everywhere from Flea Markets to donations and friends. But I only use the toys that are in the best condition and that are collectors so it makes them worth more.

What made you decide to take your jewelry making hobby to the next level and start a business?

I was forced. Haha! I went to Los Angeles with all my jewelry and sold it to a few stores. In less than a month, it all had sold out and the stores kept re-ordering so I kept making new ideas and adding new characters.

Do you have a certain theme in mind when you create each piece, or is it totally random?

It is always random. Sometimes I think of what the character would be like if it were alive and make it young and fun or I use complimentary colors to make the toy pop!

For more information, please check out www.Alteregojewelry.net - Cindy Chisvette

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Ted Nolan, former coach of the New York Islanders hockey team once compared watching a competing team, the New Jersey Devils as so boring it was like watching a chess match.

While he was probably intending to be insulting I remembered the excitement I had in my youth of watching a chess match as the networks displayed the Fischer vs. Spassky matches from 1972.

To think that chess is not exciting is to reveal your ignorance of strategy, intelligence and talent. Not everyone excels at chess as it requires many different characteristics not common in the population. First and foremost, you must possess an enthusiasm for the intellectual. Secondly, you need a commitment to practice and thirdly a willingness to be patient. Anyone can do well at it but most fail the first requirement. It has the stigma of being the activity that the nerds do. Honestly if you looked at the chess teams of most high schools,

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the nerd assertion is probably true. Of course those that laughed at the nerds are probably reporting to them now at a corporate job. Chess was never associated with physical sports or activities and is probably not considered a sport by most. However there is a new revolution in sports occurring across the great big pond we call the Atlantic.

The World Chess Boxing Organisation (“WCBO”) is alive and kicking. Originally conceived in the 1990s, the formal WCBO began in 2003 and has been growing since. The WBCO states that it is combining the #1 thinking sport with the #1 fighting sport that demands extreme dedication from its competitors. A chess boxing match consists of 11 rounds, 6 rounds of chess and five rounds of boxing. Each chess round last 4 minutes and each boxing round three minutes. The chess game is limited to 12 minutes for each player. A competitor wins by checkmate, exceeding the time limit of the chess game, a knockout in the ring or a referee decision that the boxing round must end. Any one of

these or a retirement by one of the competitors ends the round.

The competitors are familiar with many of the classic chess strategies including the King’s Gambit, the Ruy Lopez , the Sicilian Dragon Variation Defense and others. The players spend countless hours getting in shape and in studying the fine aspects of chess and the moves made by the grand Masters.

It is quite common for the players to spend as much time working out as they do practicing their moves and expanding their chess knowledge

The competitions take place mostly in Germany and Netherlands with competitions in Cologne, Berlin and Amsterdam. Current champion in the Light Heavyweight division is Russian Nikolai “The President” Sahzin who defeated the prior champion Frank “Anti Terror” Stodt in the fifth round of chess. The players must utilize their talents as they see fit during the match. If a player believes he is losing an advantage on the chessboard he is likely to step it up in the ring. Conversely if you see that you have an advantage in the chess game you may have a tendency to just box protectively. The Heavyweight division

champion was up for grabs with many competitors vying for the title. Gianluca “Il Dottore” Sirci recently won a bout from Andrew “The Rock” Costello on a referee decision that Castello was making low blows and pushing. Not your average chess match, eh? The Rock also challenged Wolfram von Stauffenberg but von Stauffenberg also beat bad boy Costello on a disqualification. The play by play from the WCBO website:

Costello opened with a queen’s gambit, which was declined by v.

Stauffenberg. Costello attacked on the king’s side, but v. Stauffenberg defended himself well in the first round. In the following boxing round v. Stauffenberg couldn’t use his expected advantage because of the clinching Costello. The following chess round ended at a disadvantage for v. Stauffenberg, his time on the chess timer was running out. Costello continued his attack with his pawns on the king’s side and in the next boxing round Costello got a point deduction due to continuous clinching. After

a punch on the back of the head Costello was disqualified. Thus Wolfram von Stauffenberg has been determined the challenger of Gianluca Sirci for the European championship title in the heavyweight division!

The championship round is still to be played later this year in Hamburg.

The sport is still limited to Europe and the number of participants is still small, there are only about 40 members in a Berlin based chess boxing club. The WBCO claims to be in every continent but I have not been able to find evidence of matches outside of Europe. There is an American competitor David “Double D” Depto, who competed for the World Championship in 2007 against Frank “Anti Terror” Stodt. Double D is in the running to face the current champion The President sometime soon in Hamburg. Hopefully this may bring more attention to the sport here in the United States and local clubs can be formed.

The sport has gained the attention of mainstream boxers also. Lennox Lewis

is working on his game so he is able to get his chess ranking high enough to compete. A competitor must have a minimum chess ELO ranking of 1800 to compete. This is a very difficult ranking to have and requires maximum effort from the competitors to achieve such a ranking. The WCBO claims that the ranking system keeps Mike Tyson out of the ring.

My love of chess has waned in recent years as I have not given myself enough time for further study and playing. However now that I know that I can combine such love of the game with my ambitions to continue to get my body in shape I wonder if I too will get bitten by the chess boxing bug and start my journey to the ring and the board. As the WCBO states:

“Fighting is done in the ring,” goes the sport’s official slogan, “but wars are waged on the board.”

– Denny

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Human Trafficking

We all learned in elementary school that the U.S. Abolished slavery in 1865. What we didn’t learn was that today slavery is the fastest growing crime in the world raking in an estimated $32 billion dollars a year, untaxed and undocumented. There are more people living in slavery today than any other time in history; 27 million to be exact. That’s larger than the population of Los Angeles, New York, Australia, or North Korea.; roughly 1 out of every 250 people on earth. By definition, modern day slavery is the trafficking and labor of human beings against their will by force, coercion, or trickery. Human trafficking occurs on every inhabited continent and exploits humans as prostitutes, laborers, soldiers, and servants. 80% are women and children. If you think slavery or human trafficking doesn’t affect you or your community, you’re wrong. If you think there’s nothing you can do to put an end to it, you’re dead wrong.

The U.S. Department of State releases an annual Trafficking in Persons Report outlining the current state of slavery in the world, laws and actions being taken, and what else can be done. The report estimates that there are between 15,000 and 18,000 people trafficked into the United States each year with around 50,000 currently in the country. Many of the slaves in the U.S. come from South and Central America and Asia and are brought in for agricultural, domestic or sexual slavery. Children or young women are usually lured into slavery with promises of jobs in America, a place to stay, and money to send home to their ailing families. Traffickers then confiscate their passports and sell them for as low as 50 dollars to brothels, restaurants, farms, and private buyers. Often times these job seekers are beaten or raped and even drugged before being sold off. For sexual slavery, the highest prices are paid for virgins who are less likely to have HIV, and much easier to coerce. It’s also a common practice to sew up the hymen of a recently raped girl so that she can be sold again as a virgin. Children as young as 3 years old have been found in sexual slavery.

Slave labor is also used in many of the products we use everyday.

Around 70% of the world’s cocoa supply comes from Western Africa where children are enslaved and forced to work the farms supplying companies like Nestle, Hershey’s and Mars. Most major clothing companies including Gap and Nike are guilty of similar offences throughout the world. Slaves of all ages, though mostly children, produce rugs in Pakistan, bricks in China, and Wal-Mart products in Indonesia.

Debt bondage or servitude is another form of forced labor that requires a person and their family to work for generations to pay small debts, some as little as $5. With 27 million people in slavery today, the stories are endless. You can help make a difference.

Your purchasing power is incredibly impactful. By choosing not to by from companies that use slave labor, which is a frightening majority, you’ll both be reducing the amount of slave labor needed to sustain your lifestyle and making a statement to manufacturers that you want fairly produced items. This can apply to foods, clothing, household items and pretty much anything else you use on a daily basis. Buy fairtrade products, and speak up to companies using slave labor. Tell your friends, family, and lawmakers and ask your favorite stores to carry fairly produced products.

Slaves used for sexual or combat purposes require a different type of advocacy.

Most importantly, educate yourself and others about the atrocities occuring around the globe. If you’re able, donate money to reputable organizations that are fighting slavery on the front lines. Volunteer your abilities for an organization. All types of skills from graphic design to music to writing can help support these causes.

Speak up. Talk to anyone who’ll listen. Write an editorial, a blog, a letter to your representatives, or your favorite artist. Read the ‘33 responses’ at CallandRespose. com. Everyone has the ability to effect change. Knowledge is the first step. Action is the second.

The recent rockumentary, Call & Response, by musician Justin Dillon, is a decent primer for anyone interested in learning more about the 27 million currently enslaved and the role music can play in its abolition. Fervent performances by Dillon’s band Tremolo, Cold War Kids, Moby, Talib Kweli, Matisyahu and more set the backdrop for penetrating video footage, first hand accounts from former slaves and political and scholarly commentary by Madeline Albright, Ashley Judd and Cornel West, to name a few.

Please see the film, and visit the following links to find out more about the global pandemic of slavery and what you can do to end it.

CallandResponse.com HumanTrafficking.org FreeTheSlaves.net State.Gov/G/TIP 64

- Alexandra Kain

There was no doubt about it. It had been a hard year. Some would say our straits, formerly menacing and presently dire, were about to get downright ugly.

Our money had turned into a lime tinted joke. The formerly proud faces that were present on the bills were now representatives of a joke that people no longer found funny and perhaps never had. Many things were on us and one of them was the joke. In a world where the blind lead the blind, we were subjects of a land whose leader had been trailing soiled toilet paper around on his shoe for the better part of seven years. Most had seen it and even more had smelt it. Blindness was not our only trouble and seven was in no way our lucky number.

This was the year in which the crops had withered up and died a thousand deaths. Like the most ungracious of houseguests the winter frost had come early and departed late, leaving only a stale mess and a bitter taste to remember it by. When the crops needed water there was no rain. When they needed soil, the earth behaved as if it was brimstone. When finally soil, water and seed could be reunited and laid, hail made its one and only appearance of the year. Few could deny that things were reaching biblical proportions. No real surprises there. In years when the devil is in power it stands to reason that everything he watches over likely would have some very hellish aspects bubbling to the surface.

Still, as bad as things were, much was the same as before. Men continued to deal with their problems in the same ways that they always had. Some got guns. Some shot them. Most others turned to the eternal tag team of women and drink. There were few things that a hard drink and a soft woman couldn’t take the edge off of. This pair could usually quench whatever fires burned within your average citizen, at least temporarily. Like violence, hate and ignorance, this method had been passed down through the generations. This year had proved to be a test of all that.

This was the year in which I found myself living in the void and frequenting bars to compensate. Traveling from city to city, sale to sale, sleeping little and smiling less, the road continually exacted a heavy toll on my general health and well being.

Vacuums and beer, vacuums and beer; on far too many deep and depraved levels my life revolved around suction and inhalation.

Too many times I found myself stumbling into towns in the bleak morning hours, the blank faces of those who would rather have not been awake serving as my only greeting. These were not times of gracious welcomes and hospitality had withered away not out of selfishness, but out of necessity. It made things hard

for all involved. There is no joy in travel when the locals would rather not have you there.

I found myself tired, dusty and parched on the outskirts of a small town in West Texas about a half hour’s ride outside of Odessa. The day had been tiring and the sales numbers were bitter. No one wanted to buy and, to be perfectly honest, I didn’t really want to sell. Believe it or not my life’s ambition hadn’t revolved around selling vacuums. I had wanted to be a trumpet player, traveling the world, seeing all there was to see, letting the good times roll and the music play long after closing. Now the only thing that I played on was the insecurities of apprehensive housewives who doubted their current vacuum’s suction ability and the only place I was after midnight was the end of an empty bar.

As I pulled back the smudged glass door of the first bar I could find, The Antelope Cantina, it seemed like this night would probably just be more of the same. The Antelope was mildly dilapidated, lit like a cave, had air that tasted of animal musk and was relatively empty of people but had a bar that was fully stocked and open for service. And there was a jukebox in the corner with a sign that read: “Put in a Five and It’ll Play All Night.” The whole place reeked of the best kind of way to get drunk: cheaply. It was assuredly my kind of establishment.

I walked over to the jukebox, got a Lincoln out of my wallet and slipped it home into the machine.

After flicking my finger on the random button, I walked over to the bar, motioned over the bartender, and pulled up a stool. It was time to put in some work.

A few Beams on the rocks and a glass of water later, (hydration is important) and the bar began to hum slightly and taken on a somewhat amber glow. I looked around and tried to take in the moods of my fellow patrons, searching 65

for some sort of connection or conversation to accelerate the night, but the only returns on this investment were down cast glances and sour posture, the body language of the downtrodden. The only bar dweller who seemed happy to be there was a middle aged man sitting across the room from me wearing a polo shirt (collar up), blue jeans and spur-infused cowboy boots. He had a goofy, vacant grin spread across his face which was growing and shrinking in accordance with what was transpiring in the baseball game he was gazing at on the bar’s lone, flickering television. A thin coat of spittle glistened ever so slightly around the sides of his mouth, a moist reminder that this was a living, breathing, (thinking?), human being I was staring at. Sadly enough, I knew this man.

Upon recognizing that the lightly drooling man across the bar from me was in fact George W. Bush, my immediate reaction was to order a drink. And then another.

Here, directly in front of my eyes, was a man who was responsible for so much and had been held accountable for so little. All of the pain and ugliness that he had created and contributed to, the wasted money, the bold faced lies, the crushed dreams and the broken lives, all of it was his and all of it was dark. This man had tattooed the world with his dirt for eight years and was more than happy to leave someone else holding the bag and the responsibility while he twirled his hat and rode off into the sunset. His aura was shit.

“Cortez the Killer” started playing on the jukebox. I tilted my bottle and slugged back a gulp of beer.

For the first time that night, my drink had started to taste bad. Like a nightmare from your youth that you had buried within, memories of all that had transpired flooded back into me. Strange how so much could be so hollow.

I wanted to shake him, shove his face in tears that had been cried by mothers who were now going to live longer than their sons, make him smell the rot of infections that people who had lost their health couldn’t afford to fix, show him just how great he was at inflicting wounds that would not, and could not, heal.

I wanted to make him in the mirror really see what was there. But I didn’t do it. I did what I had been doing, took the easy way out, and took another drink.

Truth is, that’s really all I had been doing before and really all I was going to do after. I hadn’t been out on the front lines fighting a war for my county or for anyone in it. There were no letters written to someone in congress bearing my signature, and no petitions either.

I hadn’t protested, marched or donated my time or money to the effort against the war and the time was now far beyond the 11th hour. I didn’t drive an energy 66

efficient car and I had no plans of getting one. Shit, sometimes I absentmindedly left my house lights on for days at a time. My stimulus check had been pissed away on good liquor, bad bets, and cartons of cheap cigarettes. Gathering dust and pissing in the wind was all I was good for. I had done nothing and that is exactly what it had gotten me. I might not have created the problem but there had been no effort, big or small, on my part to remedy all that had gone so terribly wrong. George may have let the wolves through the door but I, and all those like me, had done nothing to push them back out. He wasn’t the only one who needed to give the mirror a deep look.

If I was really so frustrated, so fed up, so disgusted with what had come to pass then what was my excuse for not doing a damned thing about it? I had lain down instead of standing up. Instead of making myself heard, my voice had been swallowed by the demons of sloth and the ease of indifference.

The jukebox blared. He came dancing across the water. Cortez, Cortez, What a killer….

I had to do something.

Pulling my sullen, slouched form up off of my stool and slouching across the room was no easy task.

My head was spinning and the room was swimming, or some combination of the two, and each step thudded like a cannonball. I got up to him, opened my mouth, and prepared to orate the only speech that I have ever given, the one that I was born to say.

I shut my mouth and walked away. Everything was wrong. It wasn’t him.

I had myself a laugh, had myself a drink, paid my tab and walked out into the night, fully looking forward to sleeping in the comfy confines of my backseat. On my way to the car a leggy, middle aged brunette with glasses (naughty librarian look) and the scent of gin on her breath offered to blow me. As we walked over to her car, she started prattling on about her daughter and how excited she was about the elections. I was counting my blessings and wasn’t really paying that much attention. I thought it was odd that her car had Alaska plates considering we were in Texas but decided not to say anything. The NRA and Anti-Abortion bumper stickers on her car were also somewhat surprising and definite turn offs, but, when in Rome……..

The woman told me doing this sort of thing was part of her job, which was strange because she never asked me for any money. She did a great job; must have had a lot of experience. She replaced George in my thoughts and I quickly forgot all about him.

– Evan Bleier