1
THE
Culture of Cousin Marriages The Prophet (PBUH) said “a woman is married for four reasons, her wealth, lineage, status and Deen. So choose the one who is religious.” (Sahih al‐Bukhari, 2/762) It is further reported by Abdullah (RA) that Allah's Messenger (PBUH) as saying “the whole world is a provision, and the best object of benefit is a pious woman.” (Muslim, Hadith 3465) An equal stance is taken when searching for a husband, as the beloved Prophet (PBUH) said “when someone with whose religion and character you are satisfied asks your daughter in marriage, accede to his request. If you do not do so, there will be temptation on Earth and extensive corruption.” (Ibn Maj ah, An‐Nasa’i, At‐Tirmidhi) As with everything that came through the blessed Prophet (PBUH), this too is a precious piece of advice to make easy for us the path to paradise. There are those among us who focus merely on superficial qualities such as beauty, education or family and have stepped away from this invaluable guidance. One of the many qualities given precedence is family ties, and consequently the title to my essay. With the blessings of Allah, I will evaluate the factors associated in choosing a partner and anticipate the life that lies ahead (after marriage). The actions taken that go against the advice of the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) are clearly injudicious, but they can still be permissible. The grand Quran has laid down rules for many aspects of our life, including the prohibitions in selecting a spouse in Surah An‐Nisa. “And marry not those women whom your fathers married, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. It was ever lewdness and abomination, and an evil way.” (Surah 4: An‐Nisa, verse 22) “Forbidden to you are your mothers, and your daughters, and your sisters, and your father’s sisters, and your mother’s sisters, and your brothers’ daughters, your sisters’ daughters, your fostermothers, your foster-sisters, and your mother-in-law, and your step-daughters under your protection [born] of your women to whom you have gone in – but if you have not gone in to them, there is no sin for you (to marry their daughters) – and the wives of your sons who (spring) from your own loins. And (it is forbidden to you) that you should have two sisters together, except what has already happened (of that nature) in the past. Allah is ever Forgiving, Merciful.” (Surah 4: An‐Nisa, verse 23) It is evident from the above verses that there is no prohibition in one marrying his or her cousin, as long as both were not suckled by the same woman. Islam is our Deen, way of life that clearly instructs us to take care of our health which is a blessing from Allah. We are to fulfil our duties as Muslims but the exceptions are granted when an act can be highly hazardous to our health. It has been suggested that the children of closely‐related couples (such as cousins) are weaker physically or prone to more illnesses. Do we ban such relationships if this is the case? After extensive research, it appears there is a split on the on accepting or refuting such claims and that such claims are tainted or overly exaggerated. Gordon Brown’s daughter, Jennifer Jane, was born prematurely (and died on 7 January 2002) and one of his son’s has cystic fibrosis. David Cameron’s first child, Ivan Reginald Ian (deceased), was born on 8 April 2002 with a rare combination of cerebral palsy and a form of severe epilepsy called Ohtahara syndrome, requiring round‐the‐clock care. Our current prime minister (Cameron) and our previous prime minister (Brown) are not married to their cousins but {such fouled} statistics have not sided with them. Surely, contaminations from consuming items such as pork and alcohol are more a contributory factors than compatibility of partners. Indeed, Muhammad (PBUH) marrying Fatimah (the daughter of our Prophet (PBUH)) to his cousin Ali and our Prophet’s marriage to his cousin Zaynab bint Jahsh (may Allah be pleased with her), opposes suggestions that we
2 should ban cousin marriages or that they indeed pose a high risk to children born to cousin couples. The probability of problems with children from cousin couples is so small that it is insignificant. Clearly, our very being is hazardous to our health, as time elopes we will eventually perish. The notion has been a burden on our community with claims that we are draining the NHS, and unfair conduct from NHS staff that feel we have brought any ailments upon our own children. Another article accuses Muslims of marrying close‐relatives frequently thus the rise of deformed children in Palestine when in fact this is uncommon in Palestine and deformities are a result of white phosphorous used in Israeli bombs. This topic can be much conversed but the lack of references is to avoid pondering on this issue alone. {note: Imam Ghazali’s texts refers to an occasion when Umar (ra) tells a tribe to stop marrying within the tribe to avoid producing weak children. Not sure on the authenticity but would support the notion that continuous marriage within the same group of people can eventually be unhealthy.} Marrying with‐in the family is acceptable for as long as arrangements are made within the realms of Islam and both parties agree. After all, a suitable religious match can be available within the family that may‐well lead to a marriage full of blessings. A commonly seen practice, particularly among South Asians, is arranged marriages and again completely legitimate for as long as consent is sought from the intended bride and groom. At the heart of the Nikah process, both parties ‘agree’ to the marriage three times (each) and some scholars stress the importance of both involved being fully aware of what they are pledging (i.e. not obfuscated by medication, illness, etc.). The Quran highlights that one should marry who he chooses, and the Hadith shows that the same applies for women. “And if ye fear that ye will not deal fairly by the orphans, marry of the women, who seem good to you, two or three or four; and if ye fear that ye cannot do justice (to so many) then one (only) or (the captives) that your right hands possess. Thus it is more likely that ye will not do injustice.” (Surah 4: An‐Nisa, verse 3) “A woman who has been previously married has more right to her person than her guardian. And a virgin should also be consulted, and her silence implies her consent.” (Muslim, Book of Marriage, Hadith 3307) Unfortunately, the despair to attain other worldly or personal gains can sometimes obscure this process. A motive I’ve heard many times is to marry within family in order to strengthen family ties. This reasoning coupled with the Hadith in which the prophet (PBUH) says “marry within your own tribe” (no reference found). Sheikh Ahmad Ali (Bradford) explains this Hadith means to marry the people among you, the British Muslims with whom you have something in common and not your cousins three thousand miles away in Asia. When reasoning fails then some families resort to forced marriages which as the above quotes indicate is not permitted by Islam. {note: emotional blackmail used as well.} When a cousin marriage fails then it typically rips the whole family apart and this time families may even go against the words of Allah, the ethics of divorce in Surah 65 At‐Talaq. In Surah al‐Baqarah it says “Divorce is twice. Then [after that], either keep [her] in an acceptable manner or release [her] with good treatment” (verse 229); but occasionally the ‘good treatment’ element goes out with window. Another common practice is after the divorce, to restore family ties the couple are forced to reconcile even if three divorces are pronounced (making it illegitimate) {note: unless she marries, consummates and it ends in divorce}. Marriage within one’s own people was proposed to avoid problems bought about in married life from differences between peoples’ customs and ways. The Prophet (PBUH) once told one of his Companions to choose a wife from a tribe different to his, and then to choose for his son a wife from a third tribe, and to seek for his second son a girl from yet another tribe (no reference found). Marriage outside the tribe meant forming new social ties and bonds, ultimately bringing the people together. Our world has become like one large village thanks to advances in communication and transport technologies. Our Ummah, we can argue, is not as strong as it should be but acting upon our Prophet’s (PBUH) advice can be one factor in bringing us closer. The multi‐cultural society we live in here in the UK is a great opportunity for us to build ties with all our Muslim counterparts. Whatever we choose to do, we
3 must act with {the} best of example and follow in the footsteps of our beloved (PBUH) and abide by the laws laid out in the Quran. The Prophet (PBUH) said “When a man marries, he has fulfilled half of his religion, so let him fear Allah regarding the remaining half.” (Bayhqi) “Nikah (marriage) is my Sunna. He who shuns my Sunna is not of me.” (Muslim) The Holy Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) said “The worst among you are your bachelors!” (Abu Ya'la and Tabarani) Allah has created us in pairs of men and women so that we may quench our needs in a manner that is most pleasing to our Lord. Our beloved Prophet (PBUH) has made clear that marriage is his Sunna for us to aspire to. As for the issue of preferring to choose a marriage partner from outside one's family, this should not be stressed but one should seek a pious partner. Islam is generally keen to widen the circle of social bonds. As for the fear of hereditary diseases, these are insignificant – an online user (Moonlight) writes about cousin marriages he knows of that have shown no sign of weaknesses (see Yahoo Answers link below). I personally know of many cousin marriages in Pakistan that again show no evidence of the claims being made today. {note: assignment covered tip of the ice‐burg but much can be said on this topic} May Allah guide us to the straight path and direct us to that which pleases Him, Ameen. [Word Count: 1,646]
A.B. al-Mehri (2010). The Quran - Saheeh International Translation. Birmingham: Maktabah Booksellers and Publishers. Alidina, R & Walji, M. (2010). Cousin marriages: a question of understanding. Available: http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2010/sep/17/cousin-marriages-understanding-health-risks. Last accessed 14/02/2011. Dr. Mohammad, Musa. (2010). AN ISLAMIC PERSPECTIVE OF ASSISTED REPRODUCTIVE TECHNOLOGIES. Available: http://hadissunnah.blogspot.com/2010/03/islamic-perspective-of-assisted.html. Last accessed 14/02/2011. http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100803024548AARqk8u Muslim Marriage Quotes (Part I). Available: http://www.muslim-marriage-guide.com/marriagequotes.html. Last accessed 14/02/2011 Pickthall, Muhammed M (2004). The Meaning of The Glorious Quran [NEW Birmingham: I.D.C.I.
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