UP & COMING The Feldenkrais Method Empower Hour April Presents
APRIL 2018
EMPOWER HOUR The Feldenkrais Method: Learning through Feeling The Feldenkrais Method is an educational approach to improving the quality of one’s life using movement and directed attention. It has successfully helped a wide range of people eg people with chronic injuries, stroke patients, athletes, musicians and dancers, older people and children who are behind in their developmental learning. It is taught in two different contexts: firstly, in a class called ‘Awareness Through Movement’ where the teacher guides students through a sequence of movement explorations, encouraging them to develop sensory awareness and move within a comfortable range. And secondly, as a hands-on individual session, known as ‘Functional Integration’ where the teacher guides the student using touch. Moshe Feldenkrais, a physicist, engineer and judo blackbelt developed the method because of a serious knee injury that left him almost unable to walk. He was interested in learning how to improve his knee in relation to his whole self through a kinaesthetic approach ie learning through feeling. According to the Kolb cycle there are 4 mains styles of learning: observation (learning though watching), pragmatic leaning (making/doing something), theoretical learning (abstract conceptualisation) and kinaesthetic learning (feeling). The mainstream educational system is geared mainly towards theoretical learning. Kinaesthetic learning is still in its infancy in the Western model of schooling. It is taught secondarily ie through sport, music, art, metalwork and is not given a primary focus. Children who learn primarily through kinaesthetic learning often find themselves being left behind because their style of learning isn’t being catered to. Problem solving, sensitivity, developing patience, the ability to become comfortable with failing and learning from mistakes are some of the many attributes that can be learnt through a kinaesthetic learning model. Feldenkrais’ emphasis on sensory awareness to improve movement was ahead of our current interest in mindfulness meditation by about fifty years. He understood that when we pay close attention to how we move and how our whole self participates in a movement, a permanent change can occur in our brain maps resulting in easier, more efficient and more comfortable movement. Design by PINCH
However, Feldenkrais’ ultimate goal wasn’t solely for people to become better movers: “What I am after is more flexible minds, not just more flexible bodies”. One of his goals was to revive a person’s curiosity. Unlike other animals, human babies are born with a limited number of ‘hardwired’ reflexes. We have a long apprenticeship where we learn how to crawl, stand and walk through responding to our environment and it is our innate curiosity that sparks this learning. We would never have learned our first language or learnt how to walk if we hadn’t approached the experience from a curious, joyful place. Toddlers don’t take their failures personally, and will invariably try again as soon as they flounder. As we get older, many of us are taught, sometimes implicitly and sometime explicitly, that failure is not an option and we lose yet another opportunity to learn from our mistakes. By the times we reach adulthood, we have become so afraid of failure that often we are not even willing to try something new. And so a part of us, that innate part of us that loves to learn and be creative, becomes suppressed. However there is remedy for this. Through kinaesthetic learning, we can access those places that have become numb, or dormant and reawaken them to the joy of discovery e.g. realizing a new ability or talent or uncovering a part of ourselves we didn’t realize exists. And through this exploration we can reclaim that part of ourselves that has been forgotten through our early education. By Stephen Wallace and Kate Hilder Feldenkrais Classes take place in Limerick on Mondays at 6pm and Tuesdays at 9.45am. Your first class is free and no prior experience is needed. Weekend workshops and one to one lessons are also available. Contact Kate on: 085 131 5848 or email katejhilder@gmail.com for more info.
Post International Women’s day, Exclusive feature! ‘Empower Hour Bitesize’ Rosarie Frawley talks... ‘Working Mothers in the New Millennia - working real life!’ I have worked in a male dominated environment for most of my working career and despite the fact that half of my college class in IT were female, I often find myself to be a lone lady in a meeting room. Without standing on a soapbox! I try to be the non -hysterical voice of reason when considering the duty of care we as leaders have, especially to the people working for and with us. Our choices impact the lives of others. Currently I work for Dell EMC; I have had the privilege of working for many multinationals throughout my 30 year career. I always remember the words of my father who said to me –‘Remember Arie! always treat every person in work as an equal – from the tea lady to the MD’. I have always conducted myself in such a way. Multinational companies pride themselves in their work life balance ethos. I suppose along the way I have made personal choices about the type of companies and the people I have chosen to work for. Leaving jobs and managers that didn’t ‘feel’ right or fit well with me. More often than not the choices we make are for our families but ultimately it’s up to us mums to get up every morning, put on that game face, hit the road and drag some sleepy children with us!S So with life in mind! I as a team leader have always tried to put myself in another’s shoes. Some managers – (notice this important distinction) don’t want to empathise or just don’t care. I believe: Trust to be the most important value in teamwork. One of my team mates once said: ‘I really like working for you, because you trust me!’ – He used to say ‘show trust and you get respect’. Understanding life is key! A few years ago just after our first child was born, my husband and I made a co-choice for me to give up work – retire as I put it and spend time raising our children. Some people feel more comfortable with the idea of a ‘career break’ but it all means the same thing – taking a step off the roller coaster to focus on one’s family. It was one of the hardest jobs I ever took on – in terms of physical tiredness but also the loneliness encountered through a loss of identity.
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Irish people often ask the question: What do you do? A question I dreaded. What am I doing? In moments of anxiety, I remembered an aunt of mine who was forced to give up her job at the civil service back in the day of the marriage ban – she threw herself into the role and I would often joke that she could have won ‘the housewife of the year’! In all seriousness it’s a hard one and one that women usually decide to take on due to financial and emotional (guilt) reasons. On the day I made the conscious decision to focus on my family, which as it happened was the day that my then employer refused parental leave or to let me wangle a job share (I had another colleague in the same boat) So what happened? That business lost 2 women who had given 30 years of their life to that company. To this day I have never had the opportunity to take a single day’s parental leave and I have 4 children. Today things are a little better with more flexibility. Technology allows us to be remote and offers flexitime but again it’s back to that old emotion of trust and respect. So! If someone comes to me male or female looking for some flexibility I think to myself, what is the truly better for good business ethos? To keep this gifted employee in the business working and empowered by allowing them remote or part time or give them the hard choice of leaving? Thus losing a person with experience and training is no way a good investment. I now work with Dell EMC and we have launched a training program called MARC – Men advocating real change. All management has been induced in its training and now it’s being rolled across the board. Its focus is on work life balance empowerment solutions So here I am nearly half a century of life experience and what do?
Tips for the working mother: 1. I suppose one needs to have many strings to ones bow and turn a hand to anything, so as to make some money part time while the children are really small because let’s face it being at home with the children can be a mixed blessing; having lots of quality time but it’s no fun when budgets are tight. 2. Have a career that is flexible that you can dip in and out of or the Holy Grail option, get a job working remotely while juggling all the responsibilities of motherhood and wifehood.
COLOUR THERAPY FOR THE HOME
EMPOWER YOUR HAPPY SPACE!! Sharon Fitzgerald
Colour can lift or dampen your mood
My tips for choosing colours for your home
Its no myth that colour has an impact on our psyche and physical condition. It’s in everything we touch, taste, smell, and feel. Colour can lift or dampen your mood. ‘It evokes emotion without asking for prior thought. It can be the focus of our careers, the way we live, and the choices we make.’! Fascinating facts about colour – Listverse Everyone has a favourite colour, which if deeply explored can bring a lot to the fore in terms of exploring the whole self. For as long as I can remember my favourite colour has been blue, but not any shade of blue; light blue. My earliest memory choosing that colour was in early childhood, at school. All the girls were shouting out the word Pink in reply to the teachers’ question; I really wished to say blue yet, all the boys were shouting blue! Conformity starts young! We are psychologically conditioned to gender specifics in colour choice and what colour communicates to our peers! The same external influences can often apply in the home. I am no different when I say that we often choose colours (when decorating our safe and secure space, our sanctuary) that are on trend, that are expected of us by the masses! I have had the pleasure of working with wonderful clients who are unapologetic in bright colour choices for their home and clients who are unapologetic about the neutral colours they choose. What I advise is to consider the why? How does this colour make you feel? How will this colour work realistically with your chosen space? According to science and psychiatry every colour has a different effect on the human psyche. The trick in using colours in the home successfully is to observe how they will work with your space and natural light, in addition, to your lifestyle. A key question to ask is: Are they are appropriate? Will they achieve the desired mood and effect in that space?
1. Take your time, try a few trials and tests before you commit. Thinks about the space! The function of that space and the amount of light it gets. At what time of the day is there most light? Think about how the room currently makes you feel and what you want it to make you feel? Write it all down. Brainstorm! 2. Avoid listening to another’s opinion on your colour taste or preferences, if your colour makes you feel good remain unapologetic about it. It is your living space not theirs! 3. If you are still nervous about committing to a full blown colour try neutral back rounds and integrate your favourite colour gradually with accessories such as: art, featured walls, ornaments or soft furnishings. 4. Reach out! Try a colour consultation. Employing an expert in colour for the home could be so worth the small investment. A great Colour Consultant will listen and in no way try to force a preference. They will take on board your requirements holistically and assist you in achieving what you want for your home.
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Notices
COMMUNITY PREFACE
Empower Hour is a single parents and parents support group without stigma. Where parents empower each other in voice, experience, knowledge, expertise networks and life skills. We are parents in similar and different situations supporting other parents through the every day challenges met in parenting.
Vegan Goddess Valerie Conway shares her yummy tummy recipe...
The Extraordinary voice of ordinary people, if not now when!? Next Share group, 12th April, Angel Times, 7.30 - 9.30
Recipe:
Empowerment in the Community:
2 cups of dried soup and broth mix soaked overnight and rinsed well 1 tbsp coconut oil 1 onion chopped 4 garlic cloves minced I yellow pepper chopped 1 green pepper chopped 4 mushrooms sliced 1 lrg sweet potato peeled and cubed 1 tbsp mixed herbs 2 tsp paprika 1 tin chopped tomatoes 1 veg stock cube 2 tbsp tomato purée 1 ltr water Salt & pepper to taste
Shared Voices: Therapist and mother Jennifer Wilson shares her experience of Empower Hour. Just wanted to say thank you again for the Empowering Healing and Love shared at the last ‘Empower Hour’ meeting and to Therese O’ Connell, the wonderful guest speaker on the night!!! I believe this has started a very powerful circle on an energetic level that produces immediate shifts and results. The symbolism and energy of the circle, which allows everyone equal voice to hear and be heard, induces such a sense of trust and non-judgemental support that one finds oneself sharing with ease or listening silently as one’s own issues are expressed and validated in the experiences of others!!! Either brings about a dynamic energy shift in those issues, which I can lay testament to, as positive outcomes began to manifest quickly for me in the aftermath. The Sharing, Accepting, Empowering and the Energy Healing performed in the circle on the night has created a very dynamic circle of ‘Empowerment Healing and Love’ which I am very excited to be a part of, as the strength of all our energies come together in Love as One!!! Blessings and much gratitude, Jennifer Wilson.
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Belly Hug Soup
Heat oil in a pan and start sautéing all the veg starting with the onions and garlic. After 5-8 minutes add the herbs, spices, tomatoes, purée, stock cube, soaked soup and broth mix and water. Bring to the boil and simmer stirring occasionally for 40 mins (or as long as the soup and broth mix says on the packet) Season to taste Serve and savour
EMPOWER YOUR ENERGY Jennifer Wilson - www.sacredtribe-energyhealing.com
As an energy practitioner I am very aware of the effects of high stress on the human body, mind and soul. It is easy to understand how living one’s life from a positive state of mind would increase the quality and experience of one’s life. life often knocks us down and we fall from one negative experience into another unconsciously. However, Life need not take us down with the life tools ‘ to change it!!!’ Personally in my own past place of struggle, I found it extremely difficult to read self-help books, that promoted the idea that to be happy was to learn to be happy in the situation you are in!!! My reaction intense, to me the only thing worse than living it, was to be so broken down that I would actually believe that it made me happy to live this way. I understand now from this vantage point that I read and interpreted these words from a place of my own loss of self. I want to make it very clear now so there is no misunderstanding, the tools that I share with you (mine and others) will not only empower you to be in control of your happiness but also change your situation. One cannot stay the same once the energy dynamic is changed. Energy Awareness is the best gift of empowerment. It is essential to understand that in this Universe (freewill dictates) that there are two energies: ‘positive and negative’ and like energy attracts like energy. Negative energy magnetically draws more negative energy to it and positive energy magnetically draws positive energy to it. In this Universe all is made up of energy, on a personal level our physical emotional and mental bodies are energy vibrating at different frequencies, including our feelings, thoughts and words. This knowledge is alone empowering, as one is in charge of their words and thoughts which initiate emotions and feelings. One’s source is within, one of pure love and trust, the truth of who you are! Negative thinking and emotions on the other hand are habitually trained, triggering negative reactions and energy. The good news of this being that, is that we can train
ourselves out again, by re-training ourselves in the way of positive intent and reactions through using tools of awareness.
Positive start to your day To begin, remove shoes, take three deep breaths in to the count of three (fill the stomach with air), hold for the count of three and release for the count of three. As one retrains oneself out of shallow breath (habitual stress breathing) and into deeper breathing, one can extend the count to what feels comfortable to oneself. Visualize (or verbalise) White Light (high frequency source Love energy) coming down through the top of your head and out about two feet on all sides of you, see it flowing down through you, clearing away static electricity and stagnant (stuck) energy, see it going down down and into the earth. As this flows say “I return All energy that is not my own with Love!!!” Give thanks to the Earth as she receives and transmutes all your released energy. It is her joy to ground you and send green light (healing energy) up through the soles of your feet and through your body, up through the top of your head where it cascades down on all sides of you
and back down into the ground. Now visualise or verbalise the White Light pouring down through the top of your head again saying: “All my Chakras (energy centres) are cleared, balanced and energised, I am choosing to experience this day as an awesome day, where everything flows with ease »
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EMPOWER YOUR ENERGY- CONTINUED Jennifer Wilson www.sacredtribe-energyhealing.com
Competition Time The Return of Light
winners Pauline Mary O’Brien and Caroline Murphy
and joy. Today I shall look for the positive aspect in everything I see, hear and say. Thank you (Universe/God/ your choice) for this wonderful gift of healing today!!!
Attitude of Gratitude at the end of each day This is an incredible powerful tool for shifting negative energy. Assign a notebook for this purpose alone. At the end of each day write the things you are grateful for that day. Day one: write ten things!!! (food, clothes, sun shine, health, flower, clothes drying, children related etc.) Next day look for twelve things, and increase by two every day. Overlap is fine once experienced in the present day. It is very important to write them down at the beginning so as to ground them into your mind until gratitude becomes a habit. One finds using this tool that as you focus on positive things your energy becomes more positive and more positive things start happening. One’s energy magnetically draws it. When gratitude is a habit or a constant choice, one no longer needs to write but give gratitude in thought and word!!
Empower Hour Recommends Empower Hour Recommends Andrew Smith, Astrology. A therapist who offers great wisdom, insight and support for self love and Empowerment. In next month’s issue we will share his wonderful musings and landscapes of awareness.
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THE POTENTIALIST Gaye Moore
Gaye Moore is Empower Hour’s guest speaker for April. Gaye Moore has a wealth of life and mentorship expertise. She is best known as ‘The Potentialist’. She has an amazing gift of enhancing people’s gifts, self worth and confidence in lifeand business.
The Power of forgiveness. Forgiveness is one of the most empowering things any person can do, especially in a separation situation. However in most cases forgiveness is usually the last thing separating people think of as they are feeling extremely hurt and vulnerable. We are all human, and by that imperfect human beings who all make mistakes. Men and women all make mistakes. Life is such a high powered busy way of being in the 21st century that it is often difficult to be fully present within a relationship and we end up taking our partners for granted. The prelude to forgiveness is perspective - looking at the situation from all sides - yours , theirs , what an impartial observer would say , and as yourself 5 years into the future when the hurt isn’t so raw. I know in the middle of a separation trying to see things from your partners point of view is nearly impossible however let me say this - ALL people are hurting in a separation- men are vulnerable too! The word EMPOWER is usually used to describe enabling women to feel better about themselves, while assuming men are already feeling powerful - this is a really dangerous assumption. In my work I have met men so emotionally damaged by separations that it is unlikely they will ever trust again, so emotionally hurt by separation that they spend decades in a void of emotion struggling to recover their equilibrium. These are damaged humans. Women get really hurt too and usually have a strong network of female friends to support them.
And because of stereotyping most men are afraid to discuss their feelings or ask for help. They are generally seen as the breadwinners in families and the usual result of a separation is that they begin paying for or contributing to a second household. How many separated women do you know that pay for the second household ? None I would guess. I’m not saying that that there shouldn’t be a financial contribution from either side - what I am saying is that assumptions can be made that only one person is capable of financial contribution and most separation agreements are made up of who is paying who, for how long and how much. This can be seen as a punishment of how much can be extracted out of the other person. But look at your children - they only have two parents - you and your partner - they still need their parents no matter if they are separated or not. They need reasonable, well behaved, emotionally secure parents who can agree to live separate lives amicably. And this is where the power of forgiveness comes in - forgive yourself and forgive your ex for not being able to work it out - forgive yourself for picking the wrong partner - forgive yourself for feeling distrust, animosity, and possibly hatred while going through separation - forgive yourself for being human and making mistakes But most of all #RISE above the separation/divorce and know there is a harmonious way of living just waiting for you and the other person who was your partner in life. (Please note that I am not condoning or saying forgive in Partnerships where physical violence has been experienced) Gaye Moore is a separated parent, life coach and mindset Transformation expert.
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PARENTING ONESELF THE NEW WAY When do we truly endeavour to love ourselves? Before parenting another human being one must delve deep and provide oneself with true self nourishment; so as to teach and empower another. Being taught how to administer self-care is vital for us to become completely present with our truest self. Anything outside of this may harbour an unhealthy dependency on another for our survival or happiness. Is this then what we teach? Often we project old patterns of learned behaviour without giving ourselves the time or space to investigate whether this behaviour contributes to our wellbeing or not. The decision to parent another often uses old models of behaviour, not because it’s agreeable but, because this is all we know. These learned behaviours are often compounded through the input and presence of its original student: a parent or guardian. One who may never have had an opportunity to change it? Unconsciously holding onto it and never observing the possibility for change or something new.
If we judge our parents or resist their ways a polarised event takes place and produces a similar result. Non-judgement is required for any real change to take place. When is it too late for change? The answer is never! However, attempting ancestral change is a mighty task, It requires: non judgment, no point of view and non resistance, this opens one up to the space of allowance, empowered choice, self observation and release of any resentment. Opening up a capacity for self-forgiveness and gratitude. The lessons we chose to learn are rooted in the castle we grew up in and the table we ate from.
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“MAY ALL GUESTS WHO ENTER, LEAVE AS FRIENDS.”
We have a choice now to choose something different, less angry and from an empowered place of awareness! Creating space for decision-making around what works and doesn’t work essential, as it empowers our children to know and create such a space of choice. The power to choose their path and their path may not be the same as ours and that is okay? Dependency lives in a grey area and lacks empowerment, clarity of purpose and illuminates control for the beast that it is. Creating space is the dream inside of this reality, it is where we love, it is where we grow and it is where we allow ourselves to see what we are really choosing. Have you ever noticed how patterns of behaviour emerge in certain moments with a significant other? Do these behaviours become activated at a specific moments of vulnerability? Asking a question like ‘who am I being here?’ can be very helpful. Do you give yourself any space to ask such a question? Ones awareness can become skewed in that moment as one may be functioning in unawareness or from a previous experience not yet discerned to be beneficial or not. One can drop into default mode unless we choose something different. The grip of family systems can be extremely tight and ones quest for true self needs to be strong. It is always choice, and one who chooses to follow in the footsteps of another is not fully choosing. True responsibility is to choose for oneself first and afford others the freedom to choose without judgement also. Change is there for one to choose, to become an invitation for others to follow suit and pave the way for openness and the possibility of choosing something different. There is a new way, it includes everything and judges nothing. It unhinges us from anything that no longer serves us while offering ourselves and our children the hope of a better tomorrow: the wish for a level of freedom that women have always created. Teaching children how to navigate through this reality unattached, unhinged and unrestricted gives them a level of space never before seen in our family system, it is within this space that they may create a desirable future. This is the key you may offer another in place of old previously learned techniques of responding; not only to life, but to anything that may threaten its existence with change. The Good Therapist (BSc. Counselling & Psychotherapy) thegoodtherapyroom@gmail.com
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