CHRISTIAN LIFESTYLE MAGAZINE December / January 2013
7 STEPS TO
GROWTH P. 10
Beating Holiday Blues p. 14
JUMP START YOUR HEALTH TODAY! P.4
FROM WELFARE TO WEALTH P.8
It’s Here
PASTOR & FIRST LADY BARNES
PRESENT A NEW VISION FOR A MAGAZINE
TO SUBSCRIBE VISIT WWW.ELEVATEMYLIFE.COM
A magazine about having a whole and healthy 360-degree Christian life BY PASTOR GJ AND LADY JUNETTA BARNES
I
t’s here. A Christian lifestyle magazine focused on elevating people’s lives. We are grateful to God for the vision and providing the resources to launch a successful magazine. The Elevate My Life (EML) Magazine strives to educate and inspire by providing content that will elevate the community and change lives. It’s important that people have a place to turn to that will sow growth-seeds into their life all throughout the week.
st Edition is Here
T
he EML magazine is also about helping us to commit ourselves to goals, and helping us set effective goals. We must realize that our goals are more than good intentions; they are reachable statements that can be fulfilled. Our goals should be something that has an immediate impact in our life, no matter how long-term they may be. If our long-term goal or mission is to be financially free in the next 10 years, our behavior should start changing now. Long-term goals aren’t started in the future; they are just ended in the future. The EML Magazine was created to get our goals, aspirations, desires and plans on track, so that can be realized in the future.
T
TO SUBSCRIBE VISIT WWW.ELEVATEMYLIFE.COM
he vision of the magazine is to help us to strive for Godly excellence in all the areas in our life. These areas include spiritual development, financial development, educational development, social development, emotional development, physical development and family development. These are some areas in our life that we must be committed to developing if we want to make sure every moment in our life is counting toward progress and the EML magazine is designed to get us there.
W
e believe that when people are exposed to the resources, wisdom and information they need, their life will elevate. We also believe that people will we elevated by positive and uplifting content. Our goal is that the EML Magazine will be a trusted source of enlightenment and make a major impact.
ElevateMyLife { Magazine }
info@elevationchapel.org www.elevatemylife.com 2931 E. Madison St Baltimore, MD 21205 United States of America Telephone: 410-929-GROW (4769) Editor-in-Chief: Pastor GJ Barnes Executive Editor: Lady Junetta Barnes
“challenges
are just opportunities for God’s blessings” Pastor GJ Barnes
Managing Editor: Keisha Chapman Editor-at-Large: Denise Cook Advertising: Antonio Murchison Design and Layout: Elevation Media Cover Photo: Caleb GJ Barnes
4
JUMPSTART YOUR HEALTH TODAY By Dr. Asheia Wynne
5
A
s one year ends and another year begins, many people reflect on the current year’s unfinished business. Numerous people scurry with extreme determination to finish incomplete projects, begin to work on things that previously brought intimidation, and make plans for the upcoming year. However, most people tend to postpone goals of becoming healthier to the start of the next year. I strongly encourage you to start now and begin making healthier choices. Don’t wait. Choosing to be healthy does not have to be a daunting task. It is possible to make better choices concerning health amidst the hustle and bustle of our lives. There are several simple, nonintimidating ways to incorporate health into the our routine, and jumpstart your new year immediately.
I’ve listed a few of my food diary. Simply, favorites here: take note of the things that you eat throughout the day. Be sure to add how those foods made you feel. Were Drinking more wa- there certain foods ter is one of the most that caused you to be effective ways to in- sluggish, feel bloated, crease energy, stami- or lose focus? Have na, and vitality. After you noticed changes in all, water is the fuel your body, or mood? that keeps our bod- Several ailments that ies alive! Similar to we may be ignoring or poorly watered plants, treating heavily with if we forego drinking medications may acadequate water, we tually be triggered by too can become limp, our food choices. tired, and ineffective. Not to mention that substituting water in place of sodas is a great way to save calo- Parking farther away ries! With the average when we are shopping, 20 oz. soda packing choosing the stairs inabout 240 calories, stead of the elevator in drinking water instead buildings, going for a may help to offset hol- walk as a family after iday weight gain. meals, pacing the floor during phone calls, and starting new activity-centered family traditions are all ways that you can easily add exercise to your rouIncrease your aware- tine during the holiness to what you con- days and beyond. sume by keeping a
Drink Up!
Exercise
Pay Closer Attention
Positive Thoughts Many diseases are directly linked to stress. If you do not currently see optimal results in your health life, it is possible that you have been thinking negatively. Laughter truly is like medicine to our minds, spirit, and body. Choose to be positive. Change your perspective to one of hope, faith, and love. Determine to see the best in every situation. Smile often, and speak life-filled words. By making simple changes, you’ll begin to feel more energized, focused, and at peace. Stay consistent, and watch your quality of life improve dramatically. You are only a few decisions away from becoming a healthier you! .
Quick
quotes Q
Read quick points about elevating
your life.
In life, we can make the mistake of becoming comfortable in our everyday existence. We like how things are going; we enjoy our routine; we are experts at life. Some of us even believe there is no need for change, and there is no need for growth. They live by the old adage, “If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it.” But, the truth of life is that anything that isn’t growing soon dies.
It’s Not About Your Past! Many times we fall into the trap of my parents did it, so I shall do it too, but in reality, it doesn’t have to go that way. We shouldn’t always be so quick to place the responsibility of breaking the generation curse on somebody else. We are capable and responsible people to realize what needs to be changed. And if we claim to not have to the resources to not know, then we have the ability to make them available.
Never Give Up! Even though this small sentence that has been whispered to most of us more than one occasion may seem to get old and worn out, but this small sentence can be the difference between victory and defeat.
Commitment is What it Takes! Commitment breeds persistence. Commitment is something that when it is used, it can be stronger than any amount of intelligence, any amount of money, and any army. Commitment is something that can save a marriage, save a family, or even save a soul.
Quotes from Pastor GJ Barnes
Success
- One of the most important ingredients in Success isn’t special talent or skill, but it’s wisdom and endurance. - The secret to success is to master where you are now to get to the next level. If you don’t master and excel at your present level, it is hard to get to the next level.
Judgement - In just about every situation you can find a positive or a negative. Those who look for things tend to find them. - You can’t judge people into living right; you have to grow people into living right. - Just as you can plant seeds in your environment, your environment can plant seeds in you. Use good judgment.
Decisions
- Results come from decisions. If we want different results we have to look at decisions. - Never get to the point where you make decision out of desperation, but make decisions out of correct information. - Addiction is all about emptiness. Every addiction comes with a thought. A thought of fulfilment that never is, so one is addicted because they are constantly chasing that fulfilment.
8
Article by First Lady Junetta Barnes
I will never forget the day years ago when I was sitting in the welfare office in Detroit, Michigan for what seemed to be many hours. I looked to left of me and there was a man who was drunk speaking to himself babbling about God knows what. To the right of me was a lady who looked like she was a heroin addict due to the marks that went up her arm that she continually scratched. I sat there thinking to myself “I know life has to be better than this…this is not me.” I was on welfare for years and every other program known to mankind. Every week was a struggle. On a good week I had $20 to last me the week. I was a single teenage mother with a lot of despair and a little bit of faith. I was ashamed of the predicament I found myself in at this time, a very dysfunctional and abusive relationship with a career criminal (I had to call 911 so many times due to domestic violence I lost count). I had a high school education, a job working for minimum wage as a dental assistant, a child to raise and overall low self-esteem. To those who did not know me well I probably looked ok on the outside, but on the inside, it was a daily mental and spiritual battle. Bouts of depression, sadness, and an overall feeling of loneliness. At this time I was a practicing Muslim and did not get much encouragement from the Mosque. My family was very supportive of me but I had some decisions I had to make on my own. I had to de-
cide to take the God given authority and control over my life and start the process of change. How does one change? I heard people talking about what one should do to change but it seemed so out of my reach. I always thought people who obtained success had some rich relative or something that I just did not have; otherwise I wouldn’t be in the situation I was presently in. The question I asked myself is how do you take nothing and turn it into something. How do you have a positive mind-set ALL THE TIME? Sure I had some good days, but was it possible to be encouraged and happy everyday? How do you push forward when everything around you looks backwards? Something in my spirit spoke to me one day, that the thing that I had to change first was my mindset. At the time I wasn’t sure what sparked it, but I know it was God and the seeds that was sown in to me from my parents who to this day are entrepreneurs. In fact, it was also friends around me that would encourage me to go to church and “try this Jesus.” My praying grandmothers who were always both women of God were also in my corner. I realized in that moment that the beginning of a change had happened and I realized that I had a poverty mind-set. I would define a poverty mind-set as one who subscribes to a state of being inferior in selfworth and ability. My mind-set was my biggest
welfare to
WEA
9
problem. Don’t get me wrong! In life one may find that they need assistance from a government program such as food stamps. The problem can come when that becomes a way of life. For example, thinking that the only way that we will ever eat is by an assistance program or borrowing money from friends or loved ones. Again, there may be a season of needing this support but this should not become a way of life. Even in the mist of our dependence, we have to figure out how we can be self-sufficient. I had to stop trying to cut corners and thinking that someone owes me something. It’s like a “hustler’s” mind-set. How can I beat the system? A good test of where your mind-set resides is when you think about someone who may have passed and left an inheritance. Is the first and only thing we think about is “what did they leave me?” or “why didn’t they leave me something?” I always had my hand out expecting someone to give me something. But the truth is no one owed me anything. I had to realize and accept responsibility for my current situation. My grandfather used to always say “most people are exactly where they want to be.” I find this so true when I was a person in a poverty mind-set. I know there are exceptions like someone having health issues or other unexpected issues; that is not what I am talking about. I am talking about healthy, able-bodied individuals who choose not to take responsibility and change their lives. So in order to change my life I began to read books on money management, positive mind-set, and overcoming adversity. I had to submerge myself with a new way of thinking. I was like a butterfly in the cocoon stage. I was preparing to shed that cocoon and spread my wings. If I wasn’t listening to gospel music, I was listening to motivational tapes or shows. I was reading books that
taught me a new way of thinking about money and achievement. I was hungry to learn the “secret” of those whom I considered successful. In addition, I got saved, joined a church, and was an ACTIVE member. There is a big difference with just joining a church and becoming active. I started to take advantage of workshops and sermons given as it related to healthy relationships, the power of prayer, and living a Godly lifestyle. I started attending classes at a community college, and I even started a business out of my apartment. I started to take control! Now I run a multimillion dollar company, am a graduate with honors from Eastern Michigan University, help with ministry with my amazing husband who pastor’s The Elevation Chapel AME church, and the list of Godly accomplishments goes on and on. I decided through the power of Jesus Christ to take authority and control over my life. I’m not saying it was as easy as just flipping a switch and overnight my life was changed. It was a process. The thing that did happen in an instant was the decision to change. The process requires patience, perseverance, and faith in achieving the Kingdom lifestyle that the Bible talks about. Instead of being the teenage single mom with a whole lot of despair and a little bit of faith, I became the teenage single mom with a whole lot of faith and a little bit of despair. I truly actually started to believe the Bible verse Philippians 4:13 which says, “I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.” I did not know exactly how to do everything, but I learned through educating myself and the power of God. You may not have had control over what your past bought to you, but you sure have control over the direction of your future. It all starts with renewing your mind and believing that through Christ, all things are possible.
ALTH
10
ARTICLE BY GARRY O’NEAL JR
7 STEPS TO
GROWTH
There are many different quotes about change: ”He who rejects change is the architect of decay. “ “The only human institution which rejects progress is the cemetery,” “You must welcome change as the rule but not as your ruler,” and “Change is inevitable....” The fact is Change is EVERYWHERE! Look at our cars, clothes, music, food--nothing is how it used to be. One of the biggest things to change however is us. Now, there will be people that you may think do not have the capacity to change-well, they do. Perhaps it’s just that they haven’t been properly motivated to actually DO so. For example, think of someone you know that
is recently out of a relationship. Often you see a change in them (hopefully this is after the listening-to-sad-lovesongs-eating-ice-creamstraight-from-the-carton phase). They may want to go out more, go to the gym, dress nicer---something may have motivated them to change. At work? Perhaps a supervisor who was a nuance now appears to be more “friendly” to you after you hit it off with the new boss, even with you, perhaps you want to DO more, BE more. But you seemingly are stuck. Sucks, right? Well, there is good news! You DON’T HAVE TO BE STUCK! You can start right now! Below, are the “ steps of growth. The 7 steps can help
you grow and change right before your very eyes! 1. Become DISSATISFIED with the status quo. This is critical. When a person is tired of the “norm,” or the usual and is TRULY unhappy, then growth can start. 2. ENVISION where YOU need to go. Most people already know what “growth and change” looks like; perhaps they have a picture on their desktop, refrigerator, or their phone. Recently there was a HUGE jackpot for the lottery. When people were asked what would they do if they won, many people had a vision planned: vacations, investments, etc... The truth is that even without the
11
lottery, we can have vision and we’ll begin to see results. Where plans. Make sure that you know there’s a will there’s a way! where you need to go, and what it looks like when you get there. “Change is inevi3. DEVELOP a process by which to get to growth. Nowadays, most people do not use maps, we use GPS systems, which now is even an application on our phones! The reason why we use GPS? Think about what it does: it asks YOU where would you like to go, and once you enter the destination (see #2) it tells you within SECONDS how to get there. Although we still travel, the process we use changed. We as people operate relatively the same way. Most of us may know what the change and growth looks like that we seek, but we need to be clear about the process we’ll use to exhibit the growth we seek.
table, and the only thing constant IS change.”
5. TAKE ACTION to make it happen. This condition falls right in line with the one previously mentioned. DO SOMETHING! Recently I had a friend lose a job, and she was DESPERATELY looking for another. She got her resume together, identified jobs she wanted, and after getting advice from several people, had a plan of action. The next day I talked with her, and asked about her progress. She stated that she “just didn’t feel like” doing the things she so emphatically stated just 24 hours prior. A plan of action 4. INVOKE YOUR WILL to is only a “plan,” make sure you make it happen. See, this is do something with it. where a lot of people fall short. Sure, they are tired of the situ- 6. EVALUATE your action ation, and know what change steps. Have you ever put towould look like. However its gether something, and it didn’t only when we invoke our full seem right (shame on you IKEA will and dedication to change, and your 405 steps for a table).
Sometimes you need to look at your action steps and see if they are helping/hurting you towards your goal. If you are trying to lose weight, going to the gym 3-4 times a week seems like pretty good action steps. Heading to the nearest all-youcan-eat buffet right after that visit to the gym? Maybe not so much. 7. RECOMMIT to your journey. Look at it this way, the things that lead to you wanting to change didn’t happen overnight, so change and growth equally don’t happen either. If you are in major debt, there had to be a consistent routine to get you in that position, so equally it will take the same effort to get you where you want to be. The key here is to be realistic and optimistic about your change. Will you be faced with challenges? Sure. Have some doubts? Possibly. As long as you realize that you have put yourself in a great situation to be successful, realize change and growth WILL happen. Remember, change is inevitable, and the only thing constant IS change.
12
LISTEN
Twice As Much As You Speak Listen
Article by Junice Rockman
Most of us have heard the old saying, “God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason – so we can listen twice as much as we talk.” Although I’m not sure of who
of selflessness. After all, there’s something in
first said this, it certainly holds a great deal
also validated.
of truth. It’s also a great visual reminder of
There are several ways the word listen can
how to effectively communicate as an active
be defined. The first definition says, “Give
listener. In fact, when it comes to commu-
one’s attention to a sound.” The second, “to
nication, listening actually requires more fo-
pay attention; heed; obey.” Thirdly, listening
cus because in order to be effective, we also
is defined as “to wait attentively for a sound”
have to practice patience and selflessness.
and finally, listening is defined as “to convey
In other words, when you are actively listen-
a particular impression to the hearer.”
ing, you are not trying to explain, defend or
Let’s explore these definitions in detail to
prove your point – it’s no longer about you.
better understand how we can become more
It’s about the person you are listening to.
effective at listening to others.
As simple as this might sound, it requires effort on our part. This effort comes in the form
our human nature that loves to be “right” and ultimately to be understood. Often, we not only want our opinion to be understood, but
N UP 1. Give Attention To A Sound
3.Wait For A Sound
In our society, we can be so used to of-
The key word in the first definition we’re ex-
fering unsolicited advice, feedback and opin-
ploring is “attention.” This means that when
ions, sometimes we forget that the other per-
we are listening we need to lend our full focus,
son may just want someone to listen, with no
awareness and detailed thought to hearing
judgment, critique or advice. So the key word
what is being said to us. In other words, we
in this definition is “wait.” It is a good habit
aren’t just taking that silent time to calculate
to practice waiting to speak and also waiting
our response, but that we are acknowledging
for the speaker to request your advice. Until
the feelings of the speaker.
they do, they may just be looking for a safe place to vent without feedback. Sometimes
2.Pay Attention, Heed & Obey
it’s good to even ask, “Would you like my opinion,” before you offer it.
what about heeding and obeying? Ouch! Two
4. Convey Impression to the Hearer
words that sometimes don’t come easily for
Finally, you want to convey an impression.
us, particularly when dealing in issues that
So when you are listening or giving feedback,
we are passionate about. But this definition
look the person in the eye, sit up straight, be
tells us that when we listen, there should be
still, patient and un-distracted. Convey to
corresponding action, which comes in the
them how much you value what they are shar-
form doing our best to follow the directives or
ing with your supportive body language. You
advice of the person we are listening to.
will be amazed how much you learn about
Junice Rockman is a Certified Life Coach, Journalist & Relationship Expert. Send feedback to jrockmoti-
yourself, others and the world around you, as
We’ve talked about giving attention, now
Junice Rockman is a Certified Life Coach, Journalist & Relationship Expert. Send feedback to jrockmotivates@gmail.com or follow her work at www.jrockmotivates.com
you become a more effective listener.
13
14
“DON’T LET THE HOLIDAYS BECOME SOMETHING YOU DREAD”
B E AT I N G
HOLIDAY BLUES BY DECIA DIXON, PHD
What images race through your mind when you hear the months November, December and January? For most individuals, these months conjure pleasant images: turkey and stuffing, travelling by car or plane to families’ or friend’s homes, presents, shopping for loved ones, laughter, love and hopes for a better year. However, for a number of other people the holiday season brings unwelcome guests – stress, depression and anxiety. According to statistics from the National Mental Health Institute, 4 to 6 percent of the general population experiences an increase in depressive symptoms during the late fall and early winter months. This is known as Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and these individuals may sleep too much, have little energy, feel depressed or have increased levels of anxiety. This type of depression is a result of the change in season and the lack of available sunlight during those months. In addition to individuals who suffer from SAD, there are people who battle with depression and anxiety throughout the year and the joy and festivities of the holiday season seem to amplify their own inability to experience pleasure. The holiday season may also be difficult for those that have lost loved ones and for people who are experiencing financial hardship because the holidays bring feelings of being overwhelmed with the financial obligations of the season. Regardless of which group you may fall in, I would like to provide you with some tips, which may be helpful for learning how to thrive during the holiday season:
1) It is okay to miss loved ones. If someone close to you has recently died or is sick realize that it is normal to feel sadness. It is also normal to cry and miss the person immensely. We often have the misconstrued belief that because it is the holiday season that we should force ourselves to be happy; however, I encourage you to talk about your emotions and acknowledge how difficult it is to be without them. Some families find it useful to remember the loved one during the holiday and to share positive memories of that family member. Often sharing positive stories can evoke moments of laughter and closeness and remind you how much that individual was loved. 2) Support, Support, Support. Confide in people that you trust. Those people may be your family members, friends, pastor or therapist. Let those people know that you are going through a difficult time and that you need their support. It may feel easier to alienate yourself but I urge you to talk to at least one person about how they can help you during this difficult time. 3) Don’t forget to exercise! Exercise releases a brain chemical called endorphins and it can have great benefits for your emotional and physical health. Research has shown that exercise can sometimes produce a decline in depression somewhat similar to that seen in antidepressant medications. It may not be a replacement for treatment prescribed by your medical doctor but it might just help. In therapy, I often strongly encourage clients to engage in exercise because one of the symptoms
15
of depression is loss of energy. One beneficial side effect of exercise is an increase in energy, which can ultimately help to increase mood. 4) Make a budget and stick to it! Whether you are having financial hardship or not, I encourage everyone to be a good steward over their money during the holiday season. I recommend that before you go shopping for loved ones you decide how much you can afford to spend. Don’t equate holiday happiness with a lot of gifts. Be creative if you do not have the finances – look on websites such as Pinterest and make homemade gifts, have a family gift exchange or donate money to a charity in a person’s name. 5) Practice saying the word “NO.” The holidays are a busy time and you may be asked to participate in activities that you may not have the time or the desire to attend. Saying yes when you want to say no may leave you overwhelmed and resentful. Set limits for yourself and learn the art of saying no to things that you can’t commit to. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can’t participate in every activity. 6) Take some personal time. During the rush of the holiday season make sure to take personal time for yourself. Spend 15 minutes alone, without distractions, to refresh and recharge. Take a walk, listen to relaxing music or close your eyes and breathe deeply. Find something that clears your mind and restores your inner calm.
7) Consult with a physician. If you feel you may suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), which is a chemical change due to lack of sunlight in the winter months, contact your doctor. It can be treated through the use of artificial sunlight. 8) Refocus your thoughts. Find joy in the simple things of your daily life and find contentment within yourself. You can choose to think depressing thoughts or those that are uplifting. It is not easy but it is up to you. 9) Volunteer. Find some time during the holidays to give back to others. You can volunteer with a local charity or you can participate in a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner for the homeless. By volunteering to help other people in need, you might find new meaning in the holidays, and new opportunities for employment. 10) Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, unable to sleep, irritable, hopeless and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. The holiday season can be hard for those that suffer with anxiety and depression. However, don’t let the holidays become something you dread. With some positive thinking and the application of effective strategies, you can find the peace and joy during the holidays that you deserve.
Decia Dixon, PhD lives in Atlanta, Georgia and is a licensed psychologist. She is in private practice at Atlanta Area Psychological Associates in Marietta and Cumming, Georgia. She is a published author in a book chapter, technical papers and newsletters. She has presented at conferences around the country, consulted with organizations and taught post-secondary psychology courses.
www.elevationchapel.org | 410-929-GROW (4769)
7 Reasons to join Now 1. Sermons that are easy to apply to life 2. Amazing uplifting worship 3. Fun Children’s church during service 4. Ongoing cutting edge workshops and conferences 5. A Friendly atmosphere
6. Community Activism & Service 7. Fun for the Whole Family
Pastor GJ and First Lady barnes