Show appreciation — for your health and theirs

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By Leila Kalmbach What feels better than getting an hour-long massage to relax you before the start of the work week? The answer could be giving an hour-long massage. Research shows that people feel better when they do something nice for someone else than when they do something nice for themselves. This sounds like a win-win situation for the giver, but it’s all too easy to start to take our loved ones for granted rather than showing them the appreciation they deserve. Showing appreciation is an important part of any yoga practice. When we stop to think about the contributions of others to our lives, we force ourselves to expand our attention outside of ourselves. We are reminded that our lives are connected with those of the people around us, and we are reminded that we could not exist without others. Our ego takes a backseat for the moment. The first step toward remaining grateful to our loved ones for their presence in our lives is just to take notice. Pay attention to what others do for you that helps you out. Maybe your spouse always takes out the trash so that you don’t have to. Maybe a friend is always there to listen when you need to talk. Think about the past too: Maybe your mom taught you to trust your own decisions, and your brother taught you to stand up for yourself. Think back to everything those who mean most to you have done for you over the years — including those things you didn’t recognize as helpful at the time. If you feel like you’re starting to take someone important to you for granted, imagine your life without that person. How would things be different? How would your life be more difficult without him or her around? We often don’t realize how much we appreciate someone until we have to say goodbye to the person — whether because of death, divorce, moving away, or other situations. Imagining saying goodbye can help us gain similar insight. Once you’re reminded yourself of how much your loved ones mean to you, show them. One of the simplest ways to show someone you care is also the most effective: Say thanks. Everyone wants to be recognized for what they’ve done, and saying thanks not only lets them know that you’ve noticed and that you appreciate it, but it encourages them to do the same things again in the future. There are also many more creative ways to let people know that you appreciate them. Here are a few suggestions:

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- Leave notes under their pillow, in their cabinets, or inside their lunch bag for work. It’s always nice to get a handwritten note, especially when it’s completely unexpected. - Surprise them with a home-cooked dinner brought to their door. Home-cooked meals show that you’ve really put effort into improving their day, and a nutritious meal will make you both feel better inside and out. - Invite them to a movie. Even though you’re not talking, when you watch a movie with someone, you’re sharing an experience. - Send them a postcard even if you live in the same town. It’s always nice to get mail that’s not advertisements or bills. - Call just to check in and see how their day went. It’s simple enough, but asking someone about their day shows that you care. By thinking about ways to show our loved ones that we appreciate them, we’re made more aware of how lucky we are to have these people in our lives. We’re simultaneously letting them know we appreciate them and also reminding ourselves that we appreciate them. This helps us to remain grateful for what and whom we have in our lives, and leaves us feeling happier and more content on a day-t o-day basis — and hopefully the same goes for our loved ones. Leila Kalmbach is an Austin-based freelance writer and editor who is currently spending the year in Australia. Leila grew up in Austin and graduated from Reed College in Portland, Oregon. In her free time, she enjoys reading, writing, hiking and spending time around the water. Contact her by e-mailing eye.for.ink@gmail.com or visit http://www.eyeforink.com/ for more information.