LEO Weekly April 15, 2020 by leoweekly

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Earth Day 2020

In this time, can we take comfort in nature? STATE AND CITY VS. CHURCHES |PAGE 7 JOHN PRINE AND LOCAL MUSICIANS |PAGE 22

CAN GOV. ANDY DO BETTER? |PAGE 8 7 BEERS IN ISOLATION |PAGE 29

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

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STOP WITH THE CORONA PARTIES People won’t stop partying. First it was the infamous coronavirus house party. Now it’s people playing drinking games in their yards. Go to leoweekly.com to read our story “Stop it with the F’n house parties, idjits,” that explains why our local politicians — and all of us at LEO Weekly — are frustrated by those who still refuse to social distance.

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Earth Day 2020

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In this time, can we take comfort in nature? STATE AND CITY VS. CHURCHES |PAGE 7 JOHN PRINE AND LOCAL MUSICIANS |PAGE 22

CAN GOV. ANDY DO BETTER? |PAGE 8 7 BEERS IN ISOLATION |PAGE 29

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EDITOR’S NOTE

WHILE THE DEMOCRATS AND GOP BICKER OVER RELIGIOSITY, THE VIRUS IS WINNING By Aaron Yarmuth | ayarmuth@leoweekly.com EVER SINCE Gov. Andy Beshear announced a state of emergency in Kentucky on March 6 and local TV news began covering his nightly press conferences, the Commonwealth has been unusually nonpartisan if not downright politically purple. But, all of that came to an end in the lead up to Easter, when the battle over social distancing became a Holy war, and public health guidelines became a violation of the First Amendment. Who is right and who is wrong in this battle between church, state and public health? It’s most important to say that the person who is most wrong is Pastor Jack Roberts of the Maryville Baptist Church in Bullitt County. He deﬁed the state’s ban on gatherings and held in-person Easter Sunday services. He had been warned that doing so would lead to a 14-day, forced selfquarantine, and when he received notice of the order on Monday, he told The Courier Journal he will refuse to quarantine. Roberts is wrong morally, spiritually and intellectually. He’s selﬁsh and, frankly, he’s arguably evil. He can risk his own life,

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but his action jeopardizes the lives of his congregants and others in his community. Now, he might be risking the lives of the state troopers who will be assigned to force his two-week quarantine. Before you think this is just another antireligion, Godless-liberal rant… Democratic Louisville Mayor Greg Fischer was wrong to discourage drive-up religious services — on Easter Sunday or any other holy day. Now, I know Fischer wasn’t pushing anti-religion. He is just trying to do the best he can to save lives and give proper guidance — and he deserves a little leeway since his immediate family is among the COVID19 survivors. But, as Fischer pointed out last week, “This is known as the Super Bowl of religious weeks.” With Easter last Sunday, Passover beginning last Thursday and Ramadan coming up, the yearning for religious services was likely to increase. “If we allowed this in Louisville, we’d have hundreds of thousands of people driving around the city Sunday, and, boy, the virus would just love that,” Fischer said.

The federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention recommends social distancing and staying at home as much as possible. Fischer said he was “emphatically asking” the On Fire Christian Church to not hold its drive-in service. He had seen the photos of the previous service showing that social distancing was not happening. But critics of Fischer pointed out, drivein church services comply with policies that also allow liquor and hardware stores to remain open. They are right. Grocery stores, liquor stores, hardware stores, drive-thru restaurants and food delivery services are still operating. He has to treat churches the same as he treats other establishments. He cannot prejudge. This is where Republicans are just wrong. Of course, U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell was waiting to capitalize on a Democratic misstep. McConnell sent Fischer a letter saying, “It is my understanding that you are prohibiting Christian churches from holding drive-in services in church parking lots for Easter Sunday … ”

McConnell is wrong. Fischer did not ban drive-in services. Then came the lawsuit against Fischer, which was assigned to none other than McConnell’s favorite up-and-coming judge, Justin Walker, who was appointed as a U.S. District Judge in October and was recently nominated to the U.S. Circuit of Appeals. Walker, who was still in law school when Fischer was ﬁrst elected mayor, may have reached the right legal decision to issue a temporary restraining order against Fischer and the city of Louisville. However, Walker is wrong in so many ways. Walker wrote, “On Holy Thursday, an American mayor criminalized the communal celebration of Easter.” No order banning drive-in services was ever signed, and no legal enforcement directives ever issued. He could have asked Fischer, but the mayor said: “I regret that the judge did not allow us to present evidence that would have demonstrated there has been no legal enforcement mechanism communicated.” So, who was the winner in all of this? The virus. While we puny, whiny humans prattle and ﬁght, the virus marches on. •

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THE MIDWESTERNIST

COVID: THE METAMORPHOSES By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com GIVEN THE RECENT need to lock ourselves have to pass as a francophone so as to cross into Canada with your very expensive fake in our rooms, obsessively wash our hands passport. Memorize how to say the world’s and wear makeshift masks at all hours lest favorite phrase, “we should get together we end up bloated meat pouches in garbage bags on refrigerated trucks, you may feel the when this is all over with,” in several languages. Or just learn your credo: N’arrêtez urge to withdraw from your normal activijamais de réaliser! ties a bit. It can be tempting, for the weaker Those who would panic over this temamong us, to slip into a downward spiral of porary total loss of income simply lack the day drinking, binge watching “Tiger King” entrepreneurial focus to imagine the new and wearing the same smelly sweatpants for avenues for income that COVID-19 will weeks on end. create. We must look upon the hundreds Dear friends, we are made of sterner of thousands of deaths to come as oppormaterials. This mere virus, this remorseless tunity, not tragedy. killer, this invisible Start a small business. harvester of human Dear friends, we Better yet, start three souls, cannot be allowed to disrupt our are made of sterner small businesses and hope one survives way of life. To the materials. This for more than six contrary, this crisis is months. Perhaps you our time to shine. It’s mere virus, this could launch a virtual the perfect opportunity remorseless killer, funeral parlor, invent to do all the things shoes that disinfect you never had time this invisible the ground six feet in for back when people had careers and social harvester of human front of you, or lease a refrigerator truck and lives, and to do all souls, cannot be arrange for curbside those things at once, ¡Nunca dejes now that you have allowed to disrupt pickup. de lograr! a brief respite from Additionally, this working around the our way of life. To is your chance to get clock for your entire the contrary; this yourself physically adult life. To be idle in t. I can think of no this moment is to let crisis is our time to ﬁexcuse – and I mean this haunted goldmine not a single one – for go unplundered. shine. failing to exercise two We Americans did or three times a day. not invent hard work, There are many ﬁtness opportunities out but we perfected it. We fashioned the very there that you can pursue from the discomconcept of work into a great and powerful fort of your own living room. sledgehammer; one that makes a sticky, wet You know how those paste of anything caught underneath it. We smart-ass yoga cannot abandon that legacy simply because teachers are everyone we ever knew could easily be always dead soon. If anything, our current situation telling should push us to work harder. Your credo, you whether you like it or not, is: never stop achieving! For example, you could take this opportunity to increase your own marketability by learning a foreign language or two. Only about 15% of all Americans speak a second language, and the percentage is even smaller here in the Middle-West. Another tongue could come in handy in a dozen years or so when English dies out, or in a few weeks when you

that someday you’ll be able to touch your toes to the crown of your head in a backbend or some absurd thing? Now’s your chance. It won’t be enough just to lose your extra weight by crying out all your excess water or by living on canned beets for a few months. Take a Zumba class on Zoom. Start a Hacky Sack league on Microsoft Teams. Find a workout buddy on Hangouts and drycough your way to washboard abs. Kamwe usisitishe kufanikiwa! Many people are turning to independent living strategies, not out of paranoia over the dystopian zombie movie that America is about to become, but so as to save money and observe proper social distancing. Why not start a vegetable garden? Raise chickens? Learn to sew so you can make decorative masks and body bags for your sanitized handful of remaining friends? Write your own laws? Design and print your own currency? Discover ways of shitting safely into your empty Amazon boxes, preserving as much fecal matter as possible for building makeshift “mud” huts for you and your family? Also, you could learn to make incense. Không bao giờ ngừng đạt được! Remember that self-care is important during these trying times, and with all due respect, you are a stupid, lazy motherfucker if you do not seize this opportunity to engage in some spiritual development. Read the Bible every morning and the Quran every night. Meditate every day, without fail. Control your breath. Levitate if you’re up for it. There are no limits except those you make for yourself. Underneath that dried-out husk of a skin you are wearing is a vibrant, pulsating 13-year periodical cicada, ready to munch on some crops and herald catastrophe in bold new ways. Asla

başarmayı bırak! Do not confuse this advice, however, with a license to ponder the imponderables of your existence, to wit: Is there a better way to do things? Must I spend my whole life chasing paychecks? Should we be striving to achieve something, anything, every waking moment of my life? Am I really going to cough myself to death having never unlocked the mysteries of life, or visited Australia, or met my grandchildren? If you’ve done your spiritual work adequately, you know that every major religion teaches the dignity of doing your job and not asking too many damn questions. Никогда не прекращайте достигать! The future is rife with potential, and you have to make it happen. Work hard. Take your vitamins. Shift paradigms. Lean in. Get to yes. Win friends and inﬂuence people. Think and grow rich. Move someone’s cheese. Develop at least seven habits that make you highly effective. Cram all of these things into your newly unbusy schedule now while you have the chance. Soon we’ll be back to normal, no matter how ludicrous “normal” might be. When we get through this, things will be the same as they were, the same as they always were, the same as they will be forever. On devrait se retrouver quand tout c’est ﬁni! ¡Deberíamos reunirnos cuando todo esto termine! Wacha tuungane wakati haya yote yameisha! Chúng ta nên gặp nhau khi chuyện này kết thúc! Tüm bunlar bittiğinde bir araya gelelim! Давайте вместе, когда все это x закончится! •

Dan Canon is a civil rights lawyer and law professor. “Midwesticism”is his shortdocumentary series about Midwesterners who are making the world a better place. Watch it at: patreon.com/dancanon.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

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...HELL, EVEN BERNIE ENDORSED HIM By John Yarmuth | leo@leoweekly.com Spoiler alert: This column ends with a formal endorsement of Joe Biden for president. I KNOW, you are shocked. After all, I am a Democratic elected ofﬁcial. I voted to impeach Donald Trump, Biden’s opponent. I have publicly called Donald Trump unstable, nuts, crazy, a criminal, a threat to our democracy and most every other name I could think of. I sincerely believe he has been the worst president in U.S. history and that the country as we have known it will not exist if he is elected to another term. How could I not endorse Joe Biden? Hell, even Bernie Sanders has. Of course, I must. But, I do it with affection and respect and with a sense that he is exactly the person we need at this point in American history. I was a staffer when Biden came to the Senate as a 30-year-old widower in 1972. Even then, he was an affable, funny, humble guy. He became good friends with my boss, Republican U.S. Sen. Marlow Cook. Fast forward 40 something years. Cathy and I are at the White House congressional picnic, an annual, bipartisan event for about 1,500 members of Congress and their families around July 4. This particular year, the picnic took place a few days ahead of a well-publicized golf

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

match pitting Obama and Biden against House Speaker John Boehner and Ohio Gov. John Kasich. Typically, Biden, the vice president of the United States, was strolling around the south lawn looking for conversation. He saw my group and stopped to talk. “Are you ready for the match?” I asked him. He said he wasn’t, and we talked golf for a few seconds. Then, I remembered his relationship with my former boss. “You wouldn’t have any reason to know this, but Marlow will turn 85 in a few weeks,” I said. “Oh, wow,” he said. “I haven’t talked to him in ages. How’s he doing?” He called his aide over and asked him to make a note to send birthday greetings to Cook. Then he paused and he looked back at me. “You wouldn’t happen to have his number?” he asked. “I might,” I said, taking my phone out and scrolling through my contacts, ﬁnding the number. Biden reached out, took my phone and hit call. Luckily, Marlow answered, and the two reunited for about ﬁve minutes. I couldn’t hear much of the conversation, but it ended with Biden saying “love you” and handing the phone back to me.

Cook was still there, and he said to me, “You made my year.” “I had nothing to do with it, boss. That was all the vice president.” I said. About 18 months later, we were at the White House Christmas party, a similar event where those same 1,500 people squeeze into the first floor of the presidential residence. Biden was roaming again and found me. “How’s Marlow doing?” he asked. “Not great, sadly,” I answered. “He’s not doing very well.” “Can we call him?” “You mean now?” I asked skeptically, thinking about the shoulder-to-shoulder environment. “Yeah, now” So, I pulled out my phone, located the number and handed it to Biden. He took it, walked over to a corner and spent 10 minutes talking to his friend for what would be the last time. Anyone who has known Joe Biden knows that these episodes are the rule, not the exception. He is a man who cares deeply about people. He wears his heart on his sleeve. He feels life and the lives of others. He could be the dictionary definition of empathy. But Joe Biden is more than just a great guy. He spent 36 years in the Senate and

eight as vice president. He has a grasp on every policy question that a president must face. I have been in brieﬁng sessions with him, and he is able to digest and synthesize the most complex situations, whether foreign or domestic. He is arguably the best prepared presidential candidate in American history. And as a big bonus: He is not Donald Trump. I enthusiastically endorse Joe Biden for president of the United States. • U.S. Rep. John Yarmuth, founder of LEO, has represented Kentucky’s 3rd Congressional District since 2007 and is now chairman of the House Budget Committee.

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STATE AND CITY VS. CHURCHES:

DON’T DRINK THE ‘RELIGIOUS FREEDOM’ KOOL-AID — IT’S DEADLY By Sam Marcosson | leo@leoweekly.com IMAGINE THAT you awake one morning, get online and click on your favorite news site. You are greeted by this grisly headline: “Police Seek Death Cult Leaders After Ritual Human Sacrifice.” You read on to discover that these cultists have been rounding up victims to offer up as sacrifices to their God, killing them in indescribable ceremonies (drinking not just proverbial Kool-Aid, but the literal kind) and leaving their corpses on open-air altars. A couple of days later, you are relieved to see that the leaders of the sect have been arrested and charged with murder, only to discover that they are claiming that the Free Exercise Clause of the First Amendment protects their actions, because the government may not interfere with or punish religious conduct. Your reaction, I hope, would be that their religious freedom claim is preposterous. One person or group’s freedom of religion does not permit them to do harm to others or to be exempt from the application of the societal ban on murder. You would expect that the courts would promptly reject the claim and try the murderers for their crimes. And yet, this is precisely the claim that too many religious leaders have been making in recent days — that their right to free exercise gives them the right to kill their fellow citizens. Not, of course, in a human sacrifice straight out of a horror movie but by holding services during a pandemic, despite knowing to a point of absolute certainty that people will die as a result. We must treat their argument exactly the same way we would react to the cult: with a firm, “Hell no,” and criminal sanctions. Mass gatherings (religious and otherwise) spread COVID-19. There is massive evidence of this fact and no proof to the contrary. The dozens of cases and numerous deaths that resulted from a single church revival meeting in Dawson Springs, Kentucky in mid-March is sobering, ample proof of what results when churches insist on conducting business as usual. And it is not just members of the church or those who voluntarily choose to attend who are put at risk. It is everyone they then come in contact with — and it is those people whose lives these church leaders are insisting must be sacrificed on the altar of their religious freedom. Fortunately, the law is not on their side.

The law does not protect anyone’s “right” to harm others. There is no such right under the Free Exercise Clause of the U.S. Constitution, nor in the Kentucky Constitution, nor in the Commonwealth’s Religious Freedom Restoration Act (RFRA). The constitutional issue is simple. The First Amendment protects churches only from government actions that discriminate against them or show clear hostility towards religion. A neutral rule that applies across the board — to all religions and to religious and non-religious entities alike — does not violate the Free Exercise Clause. It should go without saying that Gov. Beshear’s orders barring large gatherings were neutral; religious services have not been singled out. If his orders had permitted concerts to go on at the Yum! Center but prohibited Southeast Christian from holding Easter Sunday services, then we’d have a First Amendment problem. But a nondiscriminatory order that includes religion but doesn’t target it? The Constitution permits that. These principles are illustrated by the critical distinction between the governor’s neutral orders prohibiting all mass gatherings and the request (treated by federal Judge Justin Walker as an order) issued by Mayor Greg Fischer to refrain from drive-through worship services. Mayor Fischer’s request came under attack by the On Fire Christian Church because, they claimed, it would impose a rule that was not imposed on other drive-through services, such as restaurants. Because of that, the mayor’s request was more vulnerable to challenge. The city would have to show that worship services are different from drive-through services that are permitted, in a way that makes them more dangerous and likely to spread the disease. It seems unlikely the city could meet that burden. A more defensible stance would be to impose restrictions that ensure that any drive-thru service, whether religious or not, is conducted in a way that minimizes the risks and meets social distancing rules. When it comes to in-person worship, the state’s RFRA does not change things. It requires that if the state imposes a substantial burden on religious practice, it must show that it is necessary to serve a particularly important government interest. That test is more than met by the COVID-19 pandemic. Few if any government interests can be

more critical than preventing the spread of a contagious, deadly disease to the point that it overwhelms an already-stressed healthcare system. And it is equally clear that enforcing social distancing is the only demonstrated, effective means at our disposal to accomplish that goal. It is for this reason that our legal tradition has always recognized that governments have the authority to deal with plagues and epidemics by taking actions that might, in other times, constitute massive overreaching by government. It has always been consistent with our fundamental liberties for government to impose quarantines, require mandatory vaccinations and shut down public gatherings of people. The only reason it may seem odd to us in 2020 is because it has been so long since we have dealt with an epidemic requiring such drastic steps — more than a century, in fact. Sadly, there is a lesson in all of this that goes beyond the question of worship services during a pandemic. We live in a world in which extreme claims to religious liberty have become commonplace. The Supreme Court has accepted the claim of a corporation to have religious beliefs and then to be able to discriminate on the basis of those beliefs. Religious zealots act on their anti-abortion beliefs by bombing clinics and killing doctors. If the current dispute over a claimed religious right to subject members of our community to a deadly virus should teach us anything, it is that — like all other constitutional rights — the right to free exercise of religion is not absolute. Your right to assemble in a church or temple or mosque ends where my right not to be killed begins. Government must and should be cautious in limiting religious exercise, because it is a cherished constitutional value. But it is not the only constitutional value, and it does not always trump competing claims. When pastors and ministers forget that and claim that their religious freedom is absolute and permits them to endanger everyone else around them, they become cultists demanding human sacriﬁces. It’s a ghoulish claim we must swiftly reject. Sam Marcosson is a professor at the UofL Brandeis School of Law. The views expressed herein are his alone and do not speak for UofL or the School of Law. • LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

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GOV. ANDY BESHEAR AND THE BARE MINIMUM: HE CAN DO BETTER, AND SO CAN WE By Madeline McCubbins | leo@leoweekly.com HERE IN KENTUCKY, we’re on week three-ish of COVID-19 quarantine, and our governor, Andy Beshear, has gained local and national attention for his response to the global pandemic. Some have likened him to Mr. Rogers due to the comforting nature of his daily 5 p.m. Facebook Live streams. Others have dubbed him a sex symbol, naming his competence and empathy as clear turn-ons. Perhaps most famous are the widely circulating Andy memes, said to provide folks with a good laugh and sense of comradery during these times. Gov. Beshear seems to have been elevated to celebrity status overnight, and his public approval seems to be at an all-time high — at least according to my news feed, where folks are tirelessly praising his leadership. That disturbs me. Why? Well, because there are serious implications with elevating Beshear as a hero for simply showing basic human decency. Yes, I’m grateful that Beshear is seemingly consistent, considerate and reliable — but I hold these standards for everyone on this Earth. Why applaud Andy when he’s only done the bare minimum? I believe this is happening for a few reasons: 1) Kentucky is recovering from four years of Matt Bevin, and we’re happy with anything we can get. Local activist and organizer Jenny Bencomo Suárez said it best: “I know we’re still getting acquainted with someone who isn’t a Christian fundamentalist/extremist, hyper-capitalist, racist ... who had a masturbatory obsession with ending safe and legal abortions above all; however there are still standards and white men don’t deserve praise for doing the minimum of what’s demanded.” 2) Many of us, particularly white folks and folks with privilege, have a tolerance for white male mediocrity that we refuse to interrogate. In her article “The Audacity of White Mediocrity,” author, poet and activist and LEO columnist Hannah Drake wrote that white mediocrity is when white folks are held to the lowest standards and receive the most praise, while Black folks are held to much higher standards and receive little to no praise for similar and better work. In addition to disparities in standards and recognition, Black folks and folks of color also experience violence and harassment as

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

a result of simply existing and being great. A these conditions. Nor am I here to judge you for finding comfort or safety in the good example of white mediocrity might be if I, a white person, am widely celebrated for Andy memes. We all have the right to cope in ways that are accessible to us during this writing this article, while Black folks have collective trauma, and I hope you continue been dismissed, harassed and threatened for naming and pushing back against these ideas to find joy where you can. However, I am suggesting that there are complex power for centuries. dynamics that exist between individuals and How might we apply this concept to our the government, and it is in our best interest assessment of Andy Beshear? His whiteto constantly engage them. The current realness, maleness, cisness and socioeconomic ity is that the government has a proven track status work together to produce a saturated record of creating struggles for marginalprivilege... which ultimately, increases the ized folks and then ignoring them. Having level of bullshit and mediocrity many of us a likable person in office does not excuse or are willing to tolerate. change that. 3) We allow our We all have a role to personal feelings for I am not suggestplay in social change. Beshear as an individual ing Beshear is And right now, Besto cloud our critique of role is to: the state as a system. solely responsible hear’s 1) understand his In 2014, Reetu Mody power as a white male wrote an article called: for creating or governor 2) enact “The Criminal Justice dismantling these immediate, systemic System Is Not Broken, that uplift and It’s Doing Exactly What conditions. Nor am changes protect Black folks, It’s Meant To Do.” I love this title, because I here to judge you Native Americans, folks of color, LGBTQIA+ it’s so clear and telling for finding comfort folks, undocumented and true. In the article, folks, poor folks, Mody critiques those or safety in the disabled folks, children, who ignore the racist the elderly, immigrants, and classist functions Andy memes. sex workers and all of the U.S. government marginalized folks who are always, already and calls for dismantling the system altogether. She writes that while reforms may be struggling and 3) keep that same energy long after quarantine has subsided. well-intentioned and result in some changes Right now, this means freezing rent and for some communities, they ultimately leave utilities and forgiving any accumulating the state and its foundations intact — thus, balance. Housing the homeless. Providing enabling the continued violence that has food, income and healthcare for all in need, been experienced, enacted and witnessed in no questions asked. Releasing folks from this country since colonization. jails and prisons. Ending ICE raids. ProtectWhen we consider any past or recent ing undocumented folks, sex workers and history preserved by marginalized folks, we find that the U.S. government was created by frontline workers. Providing information, services and resources in various formats white, straight men for the sole purpose of and languages, increasing accessibility asserting their dominance and maintaining for immigrants and folks with disabilities. their social, cultural, political and economic Student loan forgiveness. And much, much power. We also find plenty of examples more. of the ways in which that same governBeshear and other elected officials do ment has controlled, disenfranchised and have the power to enact and initiate these murdered Black folks, Native Americans, folks of color, women, queer and trans folks, changes: Suspending evictions and loosening unemployment restrictions is only disabled folks, immigrants and poor folks to a Band-Aid, and we deserve sustainable, achieve that goal for literal centuries. holistic solutions that provide immediate, I am not suggesting Beshear is solely direct support while addressing the root responsible for creating or dismantling

problems: capitalism, racism, sexism and other social harms. Due to its foundations and history, the government is unable to deliver such solutions — and yet, the decisions political leaders make can, do and will have great impact on us. How do we reconcile these contradictions? I try to remember that the government is only one avenue through which we might find some relief, and even this is a generous assessment by my standards. As author and activist adrienne maree brown noted, the state is not capable of participating in any transformative processes with us because they are so deeply invested in a culture of white supremacy, punishment and oppression. Thus, we must continue to generate our own solutions, our own possibilities, within our networks and our trusted communities. In short, we must take care of each other. Our role as citizens is to take what we can while remembering: No one saves us but us. Andy may be your friend, but the government is not. Beshear can do better — and so can we. • [Author’s note: As I reread what I’ve written, it feels important to name my deep respect and love for political organizers working for social justice. Years ago, I attempted political organizing and burned out because I couldn’t figure out how to navigate a system that is so dedicated to harming my people. I recognize that it takes great courage and capacity to show up each day and grapple with these complexities in real time, especially when many of you are directly targeted and impacted by the legislation and policies you are fighting against and fighting for. But regardless, you keep on keepin’ on, because you are truly dedicated to improving our lives. My critique of the system is not at all a critique of you individuals. I know my role in illuminating the conditions under which we live and imagining ways forward is inextricably connected to the work you do on a daily basis. I learn from your commitment, passion and ability to hold nuance. Thanks for being you.] Madeline McCubbins (they/them) is a queer, nonbinary activist, artist and writer. Follow their art on Instagram @ warm_scribbles and creative journey @ themadelinemccubbins.

An Invitation For This Time: We can explore the forests of ourselves By Sean Patrick Hill | leo@leoweekly.com A STARTLING IRONY of the novel coronavirus, both its emergence and the ensuing self-isolating that we’ve assumed, has been the fact that its spread has paralleled the increase of spring. While the economy has largely ground to a halt, and while the attendant unease, disorientation and fear has grown from the crisis, the world outside our windows displays its fecundity. Whether we can safely take comfort in nature, or even if we should, is the question we must ask of ourselves. -----------------------------------------------

Bloodroot.

In mid-February, with the ﬁrst wave of warm weather and several weeks before the country as a whole came to appreciate, and react to, the spread of the virus, I went for a walk in the woods. I drove south to the Knobs State Forest, a place I had not been before but had wanted

to explore. I drove along Crooked Creek to a trailhead that lay on the other side of the stream with no bridge to access it. Given the high water, and the fact of my driving a small hybrid, crossing was impossible, and so I turned around and followed the road back to another trailhead within earshot of the interstate. I set out in a southerly direction with my camera along a route paralleling a stretch of power lines. The path, more or less an access road, was thick with deep mud, and for a moment, discouraged, I considered turning around but did not. I followed signs, turning east into a forest that seemed razed. Cut trunks and limbs were piled haphazardly along the steepening trail that utilized an old two-track road. At the peak of this ﬁrst hill, I crossed under another set of power lines and paused to look over some patches of ice glazing some ruts in the trail. Around me were the LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

Twinleaf.

knobs, rising as high as 800 feet, the trees bare. I could hear the traffic, but as I continued eastward and downhill into the undisturbed woods, the roar of the freeway gave way to silence. At once, I was immersed in what I think of as the natural world, despite the few signs of human enterprise — the roadway, the logging, the occasional bits of trash. At the bottom of a ravine, I found a creek that is, to my knowledge, nameless. Water from days of rain tumbled over small falls, the music of it mesmerizing. Along a cutbank, a loop of tree roots formed a perfect seat. I sat and listened to the water a long time. As I sat still, I began to see birds flitting high in the trees, undisturbed, I imagined, by my presence. The day proved bright with sunshine, warm enough for me to tie my fleece about my waist. I wandered these woods for the afternoon so that when I reemerged, I was refreshed. I could return home and carry the place with me, what it meant to me. I thought that the small space of the creek I’d found, with its seat among the rootstock, was a fine metaphor for my heart. I envisioned the walk this way: I’d found myself, the heart of the forest mirroring the core of my being. One evening, watching Kentucky’s governor speak about traveling during the pandemic, I thought about this place. I set the phone on a shelf to watch him speak as I made dinner. I’d just returned from a day

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in Mammoth Cave National Park, where services — the visitor center, cave tours, the store and campgrounds — are closed indeﬁnitely, in response to the guidance established by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The surface trails, however, remain open. Gov. Andy Beshear, for his part, does not insist that we stay entirely in our homes. He cites the fact that taking walks, whether in parks or in larger natural areas, is emotionally healthy. He does insist, however, on maintaining social distancing in the places we visit. A question that has confounded me has been to what extent I, and we, might have an experience with nature during a crisis, if only to give relief from our self-quarantining, but at the same time to maintain our safety and, perhaps more importantly, to fulﬁll our obligations to one another.

Yet, I have even managed to find solitude there

As recently as March 16, Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest remained open to the public, though its visitor center was closed, its events canceled. Bernheim’s more than 16,000 acres, an email newsletter suggested, left “plenty of room for social distancing,” and visitors were encouraged to “take advantage of the health beneﬁts nature can provide.”

Rue Anemone.

When I read this, I understood the sentiments. Yet it came as no surprise when, only 10 days later, Bernheim closed to the public, citing concern for the health of not only its visitors but its staff and volunteers. By March 27, the U.S. Forest Service suspended all public access and backcountry camping in the Red River Gorge, and only a few days later, Powell County released an executive order that effectively closed all trails on state lands and state parks in the county, including Natural Bridge State Park. Reactions to the news, at least those one might see on social media, varied. That region, encompassing what we’ve come to know as “The Gorge” is a prominent destination for people from not only Louisville but the state as a whole — and other states, too, especially Ohio. The all-volunteer trail crew in the Red River Gorge has likewise suspended their efforts. The area is being patrolled. To date, most state parks are limited to hiking between 7 a.m. and 7 p.m., and Cumberland Gap National Historic Park is completely closed to the public. To be outdoors, to make space for ourselves in the sunlight and find solace, especially with the onset of flowering magnolias and redbuds or the dearth of wildflowers erupting on the forest floors, most of us have

Bloodroot.

no choice but to visit the parks of Louisville. Cherokee Park, which is extensively frequented anyway, has been busy with walkers, especially on the paved loop. Though Louisville Parks and Recreation closed all playgrounds, picnic shelters, community centers, dog parks, basketball courts and soccer ﬁelds, the parks themselves, at least their open spaces and trails, remain open, though users are expected, and required, to follow the guidelines of social distancing. I have visited Cherokee Park a few times with my daughter, but we have avoided the road, heading instead for the trails. The Parklands of Floyds Fork, which I have also visited over the course of several warm days, is likewise exceedingly busy. As with Cherokee Park, the paved paths in the Parklands — and I have been mostly to the Broad Run and Turkey Run units of the park — are a steady pulse of walkers, bikers, and baby strollers. I have opted, again, for the remoter trails. I have even managed to ﬁnd solitude there.

The walk was a relief

On one particular day, on a dirt path through a gorge along Floyds Fork, I found myself on a stretch of perhaps no more

Toadshade Trillium.

than 50 yards, among teeming crowds of wildflowers. Twin leaf and bitterroot; yellow fawn-lily, which I knew from growing up in New York State as dogtooth violet or trout lily; five-lobed toothwort and spring beauty; toadshade trillium; the celandine poppy, also known as the “wood poppy,” its bright yellow petals fed on calcareous rock — limestone, in the Kentucky country. I was astounded. I did not see many people along the trail, and I am hesitant to even admit its location. I talked to one woman, who kneeled before a patch of fawn lily growing along a thin creek. She was photographing the nodding blooms, their speckled petals nearly inconspicuous, with a macro lens. We talked a few moments about the cycle of Kentucky’s flowers. We kept our distance from each other, respectfully. In the creek, at even the quietest approach, frogs, already fully grown, leaped into the pools and vanished immediately beneath piles of silted leaves. The walk was a relief.

For the most part, we were alone

A few days later, I took my daughter to see those flowers. Later, we hiked a short trail down to a narrow creek that fed into Turkey Run. She played among the rocks while I sat and listened, quietly, to the water spilling over cobbles of limestone. A few flies hovered in the air, and water striders glided over occasional pools. The temperature, on this late-March day, hovered in the seventies. At one point, we heard a shuffling of leaves among some cobbles in the creek and, peering into the detritus, saw a nearly

opaque crayfish squirming between the stones. We followed the creek downstream to its confluence with the far larger stream of Turkey Run. My daughter fingered the moss, bright on the wet rocks. We found fossils of brachiopods on the shores. What people we saw were high above us, either walking the paved path or closer but still at a distance, along the dirt trails. For the most part, we were alone. I have sought out these isolated places more in the ensuing days. The Jefferson Memorial Forest, which remains open, is actually fairly large, at 6,500 acres. Along the Siltstone Trail — again, I am reluctant to describe our whereabouts too exactly — we found another nameless creek to sit by. My daughter played, I made photographs. We climbed to a knob where redbuds, serviceberries, and dogwoods were all in bloom. We could see, given the lack of leaves in the big oaks and hickories, the tips of ridgelines across the ravine. By the end of the weekend, my daughter and I both admitted that these short trips into the woods — whether in Cherokee Park, Turkey Run Park, or the Jefferson Memorial Forest — were among our most enjoyable times together. The change of pace from being in the house was essential, and especially for me, being restless by nature. Restless for nature, truth be told. Though we have plenty to read, a Netflix account to draw on, and games to play together, we need movement, exercise.

Change in the neighborhood

At this point in the pandemic, we have not been told to stay within our homes, neither by the federal or state government. We are not required to shelter-in-place, though experts contend that the investment of such quarantining, if only for two weeks, can have a major impact on the length and severity of the outbreak. At the very least, my neighbors in Schnitzelburg walk our shared streets. People walk dogs or stroll with their children. I have seen many couples smiling and laughing together, and I admit I ﬁnd it lovely. I have, in fact, seen a change in the neighborhood. I’ve lately contended that, for as long as I can remember, people have spent their days at work and gone home only to disappear inside, perhaps to watch television or search the internet, or otherwise be with families. I would see a few people walking in the evenings, and, of course, people would sit on their porches. But it is different now that people are home all day. In the evenings, they instead come out. I have lately greeted — always at a distance — my neighbors, many of whom I have never seen. I have noticed, too, a friendliness. Surely, we are all feeling the same air, heavy with spring. We see the redbuds crackling along the street, the dogwoods beginning to open. Tulips sprout, and the birds sing throughout the day. Squirrels fashion their nests, possums shufﬂe about by night. We all feel, too, the same fear. Even the same allegiance.

to be seen. The only sound was wind in the trees. The store was closed, the campground empty. I found a hollow I hiked into. The limestone cliffs were green with moss and ferns, the forest floor a continuous flower garden with many of the flowers I’d already seen and more — Dutchman’s breeches, Solomon’s seal, and the rare nodding trillium. The place was Edenic. Later, I wandered among a series of massive sinkholes and came to an overlook of the Green River. A few people were about, hunting for morels, but largely the woods were vacant. The governor has said, go for a drive, but stay in your car. Or, if insistent on going for a walk, or a run, maintain social distance. There will be arguments against even this, regardless. New research has emerged demonstrating that infected droplets from our breath can hang, in unventilated rooms, for upwards of 20 minutes. Those droplets can come not only from coughing, the research showed, but from an animated conversation — from speaking loudly. So, it may be that, finally, to truly put the pandemic behind us, or at least this surge of it, we will need to stay at home for an extended period of time, avoiding any public place including the parks, the wildernesses. Given that, we can acknowledge and live

The nature that is us

On a warm day, I drove to Mammoth Cave National Park, an hour-anda-half south. What people were there, and there were not many, were most likely locals. The only people I talked to were two men out looking for mushrooms. The visitor center parking lot, where I’d gone in hopes of ﬁnding a map, was empty but for a few cars. There was no one

The Celandine poppy, or ‘wood poppy,’ not to be confused with the invasive Lesser celandine . LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

within, for a time, for what could be as little as two weeks of absolute quarantining, the nature that is close to us and, finally, the nature that is us. From my porch, far from the sidewalk, I watch the birds in the sugar maple and in the euonymus: song sparrows, cardinals, blue jays, wrens, house finches, the occasional downy woodpecker. I see the ginkgo leafing, the lavender sprouting, the azaleas nearing blossom. Further, I see the clouds and spend time learning to identify them. I feel, always, the circulating air. In the backyard, in a shaded corner near the fence, my rue anemone, given to me as a gift several years

ago, has once again bloomed. In this time, we can accept the invitation to be with ourselves, for we are as much nature as these birds, these trees, this air. Our books, or even a ﬁlm we watch, might act as ﬁeld guides to the paths within ourselves. There are many dark forests in us that want for exploring. I have chosen to do that. I believe that when we reemerge from our homes, we will carry something we have found within the forests of ourselves, within our own coves and hollows, that will allow us to experience, at last, the world we constitute as “nature” in an entirely new and profound way. •

Coral fossil, Turkey Run.

PHOTO BY MEGAN CAMPBELL SMITH.

NO ONE EVER REALLY MEANS ‘DUCKING’ BUT A SHOUT OUT IS IN ORDER TO AUTOCORRECT FOR ITS ACCURACY ON THIS ONE PARTICULAR OCCASION For the Ducks & Geese at Cave Hill Cemetery – You are the sentries of the afterlife, a Monty Python sketch in honking reality left to waddle amongst headstones and stand guard for those who came here to rest a spell beneath a sun that still spins after a heart beats no longer. Much like bank robbers and the panhandlers on 4th St Downtown, those ducks are after that bread whether or not that is part of your or my plan, the same way the cemetery is where we’re all headed, whether or not that is part of your or my plan. There is a status quo to be upheld in this life that includes Brachiopod fossils.

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the occasional slice of wheat bread, the occasional sunburn, the occasion of bright laughter while in possession of a bag of unsalted peanuts intended for squirrels, thrown like confetti in an attempt to escape the inevitable by offering the tiny honking maﬁa a tithe for temporary safe passage from ﬁfty level-one enemies while on a side quest to pay respects to The Greatest of All Time. —Heidi Taylor

NEWS & ANALYSIS

UNION TACTICS GAIN COVID-19 INCENTIVES, PROTECTIONS By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com THERE ARE FEW restaurant unions in the U.S. and none in Louisville, but some Heine Brothers’ Coffee employees organized a sickout on April 3 to seek protections against coronavirus. Hannah Jones, a barista, said that she and at least 35 employees who signed a demand letter to leadership either didn’t work that day or called in sick, although all but one location remained open for the day. “We’re really just trying to be reasonable about how we can get through this solely, healthfully, as the people who operate this company,” she said. A week after the sickout, Heine Brothers’ told employees that they would receive $3 more per hour as a “COVID-19 bonus” for eight weeks as a result of help from Congress’ CARES Act. This was in addition to extra safety precautions that were previously announced. The coronavirus pandemic has been giving unions and nonunion workers new currency, as the country’s understanding of frontline, or essential, workers is recalibrating. In addition to the job action taken by employees at Heine Brothers’, factory workers and union members at GE Appliances in Louisville threatened a strike last week out of concerns for their safety. Frontline workers across the United States are taking similar actions. Suddenly, the ranks of essential employees include not only nurses and sanitation workers but those who work in grocery stores, restaurants and factories. And while now they’re receiving praise for continuing to work, these lower-wage workers also are more at risk of contracting COVID-19. As in the case of the coffee shop workers, some feel as if their employers aren’t taking the extra steps necessary to protect them from the virus. As a solution, some union and nonunion workers have started organizing to enact change. Last week, Whole Foods employees decided not to show up to work in protest, although the company said that none of its stores closed. Instacart workers also went on strike.

“Non-union workers are seeing what union members have known for years, which is that if you want to make improvements in your workplace, if you want to secure protections, doing so collectively is the only effective way to do it,” said Richard Becker, who is a writer and staff organizer at 32BJ SEIU. (He said that, for his interview with LEO, his remarks were not made on behalf of his union.) “One individual worker is not going to be able to make demands to a boss in the same way that workers standing together can.” And workers are seeing wins. On April 7, GE Appliances agreed to grant IUE-CWA Local 83761 union members an extra $2 an hour for working, or they could leave and collect unemployment beneﬁts if they didn’t want to work because of safety concerns. Union President Dean “Dino” Driskell said the lesson is: “If we work together and we work as one, then we’re going to get a lot further than we are as individuals at a workplace.” In Chicago, members of a union for Jewel-Osco grocery stores also received an additional $2 per hour in hazard pay. And Instacart is now providing its non-union workers with health and safety kits that contain hand sanitizer and masks. In addition to its COVID-19 bonus, Heine Brothers’ installed clear plastic protection at its drive-thrus, and Jones told LEO that management said they would provide cloth masks. The barista sickout did not close any Heine Brothers’ shops that were already open, but a location that was supposed to reopen that day, on Veterans Parkway in Jeffersonville where a worker tested positive for COVID-19, did not. Heine Brothers’ CEO Mike Mays declined an interview with LEO but said in a statement: “There is no road map for the current situation. We are just trying our best to simultaneously balance three equally important goals: 1) do our best to keep our employees and our customers safe, 2) keep as many people employed as we can, and 3) keep our company in business. I founded this company 25 years ago

with a commitment to being about more than just profit, and we have, and will continue to, walk that talk.” Heine Brothers’ baristas did not receive all protections they demanded, including conversion to a touchless pay system and a halt on all new sales promotions. They also asked that the company lay them off if they felt unsafe working, so that they could seek unemployment benefits. Jones said she hopes that the coronavirus pandemic has forced the country to realize who its essential workers really are: those employed in healthcare, logistics, targeted manufacturing and at grocery stores and even restaurants. “I think that it would be really, really shortsighted and ultimately inhumane to go back to a situation where we undervalue so significantly many of those workers and many of those services,” she said. Toni Gilpin, a labor historian, agreed. “Let’s hope that once we get through this, that recognition continues among the people who make policy, the people in Washington and in statehouses and city hall. And that we do what we need to do, to not just call them heroes but to pay them like they are, and to give them the paid sick leave and the child care and healthcare as a right that they should be getting,” said Gilpin, author of “The Long Deep Grudge: A Story of Big Capital, Radical Labor, and Class War in the American Heartland,” a book about the union at Louisville’s International Harvester. Becker said the best way to ensure continual improvements is unionization. He said union-like models could work for restaurants, such as those for electrical and construction trade workers. Those unions train members, put them in a pool for jobs and have relationships with local employers. Said Becker, “I think workers, whether you’re GE, or Amazon or Heine Brothers’ or what have you, need a union, whatever form that takes. Because that’s the only way to guarantee long-term durable gains and improvements for workers.” •

THORNS & ROSES THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD

THORN: $4.6 MILLION LATER, REGRETS?

New Yorker staff writer Jane Mayer’s latest, “How Mitch McConnell Became Trump’s Enabler-in-Chief,” contains so many nuggets of outrageousness and despairinducing reporting that you must read it in its entirety. But here is one illuminating passage. She reports that the late Humana founder David Jones had long backed McConnell. He and his company’s foundation collectively gave $4.6 million to the McConnell Center. Three days before he died, “Jones and his two sons, David, Jr., and Matthew, sent the second of two scorching letters to McConnell, both of which were shared with me. They called on him not to be ‘a bystander’ and to use his ‘constitutional authority to protect the nation from President Trump’s incoherent and incomprehensible international actions.’ They argued that ‘the powers of the Senate to constrain an errant President are prodigious, and it is your job to put them to use.’” And, she wrote: “Imploring McConnell ‘to lead,’ they questioned the value of ‘having chosen the judges for a republic while allowing its constitutional structures to fail and its strength and security to crumble.’” The Joneses are just figuring this out?

THORN: MIXING FAITH WITH THE LAW

Speaking of stacking the court, McConnell’s latest effort is to boost Judge Justin “R is for Wrong” Walker, the millennial marionette, onto the Court of Appeals for the District of Columbia District. Why not? Walker, a judge for just over five months, was deemed “not qualified” by the American Bar Association for not having practiced law long enough. Now, Walker is in the middle of Mayor Greg Fischer’s battle to keep people from dying. Fischer said he was “emphatically asking” a local church to not have a drive-in church service after a previous one demonstrated churchgoers just could not contain themselves to stay apart. Walker issued a temporary restraining order flush with hyperbole and reading like (what we are told) a law student’s callow work. He wrote: “On Holy Thursday, an American mayor criminalized the communal celebration of Easter.” He said that “Fischer ordered Christians not to attend Sunday services, even if they remained in their cars to worship – and even though it’s Easter.” First of all, Fischer never ordered anyone — he asked — and he never threatened law enforcement action, thus no criminalization. Second, Walker did not speak with Fischer before issuing the ruling, despite the mayor’s efforts. Wouldn’t a judge want to hear from the accused? And third, and perhaps most telling, why would Walker mention: “even though it’s Easter”? Why does it matter to the ruling that it was Easter? That reasoning alone is proof Walker can’t separate religiosity from legality.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

PHOTOS

THE HIDDEN HILL NURSERY IS ALIVE WITH COLOR

A SPRING TOUR OF RIOTOUS BEAUTY BOB AND JANET HILL ran the Hidden Hill Nursery & Sculpture Garden in Utica, Indiana, for 19 years, cultivating rare and unusual plants he has collected from around the world. It was a second career for him, after retiring after 33 years as a metro columnist for The Louisville Times and Courier Journal. Hidden Hill closed its full-time operation in 2018 but is open for special events and by appointment. Hill gave LEO photographer Kathryn Harrington a tour recently.

The Quince ‘Double Take Scarlet’ — a beautiful, screaming and thornless cultivar.

Bob Hill examines the rare Croton Alabamensis, or ‘Croton,’ found only in four Alabama counties and three in Texas. These shrubs have silver-backed leaves with a great fall color.

The beautiful remaining flower buds of a hydrangea.

The Redbud ‘Pauline Lily,’ named for the wife of Colin Lily, who found this tree growing in the mountains of West Virginia.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

A magnolia: ‘Marilyn’.

PHOTOS

A daffodil with somewhat mysterious history —the flower had already been at the location when the Hills moved in 45 years ago.

The ‘Wood Poppy,’ an aggressive North American native that hurls spring color at you. It propagates like gerbils.

The Bleeding Heart, one of Hill’s favorite spring plants, is a hardy plant first discovered in Japan. The Appalachian Red redbud is most vivid of all. It was found growing along a road in Maryland as a ‘sport’ of nature and was later released by University of Tennessee.

According to Hill, the Adirondack Crabapple is “as bold and frothy a plant as nature can provide.”

Yellow Archangel. LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

PHOTOS The Paper Bark Maple, a fabulous four-season tree because the bark is always exfoliating.

A butterfly perches on a fragrant viburnum.

These tulips came from a trip to Keukenhof Gardens in Netherlands two years ago where 7 million tulips were on display in fantastic artistic creations. Seven million! The Creeping Phlox is a native of the Appalachian mountains and comes in about 50 different colors.

The wondrous Forget-Me-Not. This one goes back hundreds of years and has several backstories. The best is: Two lovers were walking along the Danube River and saw this flower. The man went to pick some for his lover, fell into the river and, as he was swept away, he hollered â&#x20AC;&#x2DC;Forget me not!â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

Kerria bush is an early spring stunner. Native to Asia, the bush grows six to eight feet tall.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

PHOTOS

WHEN VISITS ARE IMPOSSIBLE

THE PARADE OF FAMILIES, A DRIVE-THROUGH NURSING HOME VISIT By Kathryn Harrington | leo@leoweekly.com IN-PERSON VISITS are now banned at nursing homes and rehab centers, a reasonable but difďŹ cult precaution for residents and their families alike. Signature HealthCARE at Jefferson Manor Rehab & Wellness Center got creative: It held a drive-thru visitation for residents and their families dubbed the Parade of Families. One recent Monday, residents were escorted from the center to the parking lot, lining up on both sides and spaced apart to ensure social distancing, Many held signs and posters for their families to see as they drove by. Residents and patients at Signature HealthCARE at Jefferson Manor Rehab lined up on both sides of the drive, waiting to see family members drive through.

Patients and residents held up signs for their families to see.

Family members and friends created signs with messages of love and hope.

Residents and patients at Signature HealthCARE at Jefferson Manor Rehab loved the parade.

Nurses at Jefferson Manor help patients and residents locate their families who were driving through.

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

PHOTOS

The drive by brought much joy. Family members waved and talked to loved ones.

The Parade of Families brought much joy. Family members blew kisses from a safe distance.

An eager resident was reminded to keep a safe distance from family members.

A Jefferson Manor Rehab & Wellness Center patient smiles as she gets to see her family during the Parade of Families. LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

MUSIC

your best friend sit on your porch and sing you a song.”

WILL BENTON

Cat Causal & The Final Word “Losing Prine was always going to hurt. It is losing him now, during these challenging times, that one of our greatest voices of love, empathy, humor and kindness leaving us is particularly painful. His songs were and are the perfect antidote to the white noise (and it is most prominently white) of the hateful, selﬁsh, anti-intellectual and the foolishly proud. We can all still learn from John Prine. I still am and always will be.”

KATIE DIDIT

Mama Said String Band / Quite Literally “John Prine was a songwriter’s songwriter. I’ve never met a musician in my lifetime that wasn’t somehow inﬂuenced by him. He set a standard of grace and humility in being a storyteller with his uncanny ability to speak to the everyday experience of ordinary people with a simple honesty. I owe my entire creative career to ﬁnding him during my formative years.”

TYLER LANCE WALKER GILL

REMEMBERING JOHN PRINE: LOUISVILLE MUSICIANS REFLECT ON THE SONGWRITING GIANT By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com JOHN PRINE, whose hard-hitting stories about everyday people earned him a spot among America’s greatest songwriters, died last week due to complications related to COVID-19. He was 73. During his ﬁvedecade career, Prine released a string of venerable albums, starting with his legendary self-titled record in 1971 and ending with 2018’s powerful The Tree of Forgiveness, with classics such as Sweet Revenge, German Afternoons and The Missing Years in between. Prine’s songs are direct, and they feel like people rehashing old tales around a campﬁre, but they also feel like novels, as he could create big worlds in under four minutes, provoking memories like Proust, spinning oddball humor into deep meaning like Vonnegut and turning around an end-

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

less amount of witty lines like Twain. Prine recognized the complexity in life’s simple moments, and, likewise, he could break down life’s complex moments with razorsharp simplicity. One of my favorite songs of his is about taking a walk, and of course he turns it into an existential tornado. He summarized the things we felt but couldn’t put into words. He was a giant. And we’ll still be finding the treasures buried in his songs for years. We asked a few local musicians to reflect on Prine’s life and influence.

JOAN SHELLEY

Solo Musician / Maiden Radio “There is something miraculous in how he wrote songs that made people feel close

and maybe a bit better at being human than they were before hearing. You could tell he trained his ear on the sturdy songs of the Carter Family but added his humor and his perspective, his generous attitude toward life. It created space for the listeners to dwell in, like rooms in a friendly house. Now that the light in those rooms has gone out, it is apparent just how bright he was, how great his spirit. His exit is being felt all over.”

JAKE HELLMAN

Prayer Line “John Prine is a part of every song I write. His ability to make you laugh, wonder and sometimes cry in one line is something I continuously strive for and never reach to his ability. Listening to him is like having

Solo Musician “Here’s what I’ll say: If an artist says they weren’t inﬂuenced by John Prine, then they’ve obviously never heard John Prine. The thing that I love most about Prine is his sense of humor. Even when he was writing about the saddest, darkest areas of the human condition, he could sneak in a quick laugh. And vice versa: In seemingly nonserious songs, you ﬁnd these little nuggets of profound wisdom. I can’t think of another artist who could do that, or at least do it that well. John Prine could teach you all it means to be human in three and a half minutes.”

MCKINLEY MOORE

Pleasure Boys “John Prine will certainly be remembered as one of the most prominent voices in American music, but we should also remember him as a titan of DIY. The music he made is so important that it makes it easy to forget that the man started his own record label, successfully put out numerous albums for himself and other successful artists for four decades, and turned down every offer he was made to sell it for his entire life. That’s punk as fuck.” •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

MUSIC

THE OUT-IN-THE-STORM PLAYLIST: 8 LOCAL SONGS RELEASED IN THE LAST TWO MONTHS By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com SINCE THE OUTBREAK started, sometimes it’s been hard to pay attention to anything but devastating news. Of course, we’ve all been home more often, and some of us have been trying to ﬁnd pop culture distractions, but there’s still a solid chance that great Louisville albums and singles have been buried under the weight of what’s happening. So, we’ve created a playlist covering some of the best local songs that have been released since the beginning of March.

Since Ryan Patterson dissolved his longtime shape-shifting punk/metal/hardcore outﬁt Coliseum, his focus has been on the synth-heavy, gothic post-punk of Fotocrime, which just released a sophomore album, South of Heaven. From that record, “Love Is A Devil” is a stand-out track, with a Nick Cave-like darkness threading through it. Patterson’s music isn’t as aggressive as it used to be, but the edge and anger are still there, just reformatted to more seething levels.

JOAN SHELLEY — ‘BLUE SKIES’

FOOL’S GHOST — ‘CHASING TIME’

Nick and Amber Thieneman create atmospheric, chilling music as Fool’s Ghost that ﬂoats and swirls with a calm lightness, while also striking a heavy psychedelic intensity that’s ominous and gloomy. Their sonic nuances play perfectly into “Chasing Time,” an existential contemplation that builds and falls, showing the band’s range and power. The song is mesmerizing and built like a puzzle, hitting with a mixture of precision and mystery.

RMLLW2LLZ — ‘ALIVE’ A stark, dream-folk song that juxtaposes being isolated on a beautiful spring day but during dark times, “Blue Skies” is a reaction to the sweeping changes and endless worry brought on by the coronavirus, but it’s also a reminder to be grateful for health and happiness when you have it. Joan Shelley does a lot with a little on “Blue Skies,” crafting an evocative, piercing song from a few simple moments. It’s another master class from one of the city’s greatest songwriters.

FOTOCRIME — ‘LOVE IS A DEVIL’

A reﬂection on a death that he witnessed on tour, Rmllw2llz’s “Alive” is, underneath the tragic elements of the story, about being present every day. While there are things that shake us and change us, “Alive” stresses the importance of appreciating the good times, the people we are surrounded by and the opportunities that we get. Rmllw2llz uses a haunting beat and honest approach to make his point, which is that it’s important to bounce back from life’s turbulence by being thankful.

Quite Literally mixes a gypsy jazz swing with modern alt-country sensibilities, blurring the lines between old-timey and forward-thinking. Sometimes they veer more in one direction than the other, and “Why Can’t You See” definitely owes more to the past few decades of the off-Broadway misfit geniuses floating around Nashville’s outskirts than it LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

SLEEP KICK — ‘I SWAM OUT’

A dream-pop band with a layered approach, Sleep Kick combines subtle psychedelic aesthetics with singer-songwriter heart. “I Swam Out” has a surreal quality to it, like an eerie window into a REM cycle, as the lyrics are both vivid and metaphorical and the music is soothing, yet stormy. There’s something gripping and immediate about the song and since this is off the debut, self-titled album by Sleep Kick, they’re deﬁnitely a project to keep an eye on.

YONS — ‘PULL UP’ (FEAT. JORDAN JETSON)

With slick production, dense verses and golden hooks, Yons and Jordan Jetson deliver what has the possibility to headline the local soundtrack to the (hopefully) post-quarantine summer. “Pull Up” is a single from a forthcoming album from Yons, and as you would expect, it’s a lean, dynamic track with sonic twists, incredible vocal cadences, clever lyrics and a sturdy beat. And, maybe most importantly, it’s wildly catchy.

HAZELFIRE — ‘IHATEME’

QUITE LITERALLY — ‘WHY CAN’T YOU SEE’

does to a bygone era. With a rich melody, a narrator that’s on the edge and a captivating storyline, “Why Can’t You See” is a gut-punch of a track and the last verse is a stunning display of down-and-out folk poetry.

In 2019, Hazelﬁre put out genre-bending punk at a hectic pace, chronicling things such as the plight of the starving artist to the dangerous pitfalls of the evil side of the music community. With the ability to shift from contained alt-rock to visceral horror punk to hip-hop, Hazelﬁre has bounced around issues, thoughts and emotions with transparency and ‘ihateme’ continues that trend. From the brand new, quarantined-themed album eBOY, ‘ihateme’ deals with the dark, destructive thoughts brought on by loneliness. •

Have a Love Issue? AskMindaHoney@leoweekly.com

Mind

e v a H o ne y o n L LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

STAFF PICKS THURSDAY, MARCH 16

Virtual Dinner With Mark Coomes

Zoom | facebook.com/bourbonsbistro | Prices vary | 7-9 p.m. For a taste of the Derby, Bourbons FOOD Bistro presents dinner and a Zoom chat with sports author Mark Coomes, advertised as “the horse whisperer.” To participate, buy a ticket on the event page. It’s $40 for the whole shebang or $15 for just the presentation. The day of the event, you’ll pick up your three-course dinner at Bourbons Bistro, drive home and log on to the Zoom conversation. Coomes will be there with Bourbons Bistro owner Jason Braun to talk about the delayed Derby, handicapping and “the art of picking a winner.” —LEO

THROUGH APRIL 20

‘Where The Mountain Meets The Sea’ And ‘Are You There?’

actorstheatre.org/direct | $15-$100 (pay what you can) | Any time Actors Theatre’s biggest event of the year, the Humana Festival of New American Plays, was tragically cut short because of the coronavirus pandemic, but you can still THEATER watch recordings of two of the promising new works that were part of the festival. “Where the Mountain Meets the Sea” is an ode to Appalachian folk music and the relationship between a Haitian immigrant father and his son. “Are You There?” is a collection of short plays about how technology affects communication, featuring the cast of Actors’ Professional Training Company. —LEO

FRIDAY, APRIL 17-MAY 1

Viral Laughs To Bene�ıt The Caravan

Facebook Live | facebook.com/laughingderby | Donations accepted | 7-8:30 p.m.

EVERY MONDAY

Ask The Zoo Director

Facebook Live | facebook.com/louisvillezoo | Donations accepted | 2 p.m.

Comedian (and erstwhile LEO writer) Creig Ewing. | PHOTO BY LOU TINGLE.

The Caravan is closed, but Louisville’s comedians are still funny. Why should they confine their talents to their families and social media posts? Especially when CHUCKLE Louisville’s 25-year-old comedy club needs help. To raise money, our city’s comedy elite will convene on Facebook Live for a round table on random topics. Last week, Melissa Doran, Sean Smith, Brad Lanning, Rich Ragains, Keith McGill, William McKenzie and Creig Ewing joined in. —Danielle Grady

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

The Louisville Zoo is still inviting the public in, even though its doors are closed due to the coronavirus pandemic. Director John Walczak will introduce you to one of the ZOO zoo’s animals in this virtual lesson. This past Monday, he showed off and talked about Qannik, the zoo’s 8-year-old polar bear. This Monday’s Ask the Director will be in the Islands Dayroom with the orangutans, and Walczak will talk about how the zoo is keeping the animals enriched while the Zoo is closed. Zoo visitors are enrichment for many of the animals, the zoo says. — Danielle Grady Teak the Orangutan!

STAFF PICKS

TUESDAY, APRIL 21

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

Zoom | Free | 8-10:30 p.m.

LAN | louisvilleartsnetwork.org | Lift Up Lou | louisvilleky.gov/government/lift-lou

Schitt’s Creek Trivia

Louisville Arts Network (LAN) And Li�t Up Lou

‘Bad Apple’ by Kelsi Haberman. Clay. | PHOTO BY ISAIAH DRAKE.

The Louisville Arts Network (LAN) and Lift Up Lou have banded together to present the latest idea for artists to create — as well as have a little extra money COMMISSIONS in their pockets — during the coronavirus. LAN will pay $150 to $200 for original virtual works of visual, performing and written art. The program is open to all media from artists who are at least 18 and live in the Greater Louisville area. The art will then be shown on Lift Up Lou’s arts and entertainment program presented through social media at 3 p.m. daily. —Jo Anne Triplett

UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE

COVID-19 Local Art Grants

Elevator Artist Resource | elevatorarts.org | Fund for the Arts | fundforthearts.org

It was just over a month ago when we Staff Picked a “Schitt’s Creek” dance party at High Horse Bar. Oh, how we long for a time when we were able to indulge SWEATERS! in such luxuries as an ironic, Kentucky-Canadian sitcom party. Well, the dance parties may still be on hold, but the funny Schitt must go on… Chill Bar is hosting virtual “Schitt’s Creek” trivia, featuring four rounds of trivia fun from the first five seasons of the show. If you are safely quarantined with a family member or roommate, you are allowed to play as a team. —LEO

The Works Progress Administration, or WPA, was a federal program to help artists survive SUPPORT during World War II. Now, in this time of COVID-19, grants from ART and The Fund for the Arts are available to help local artists and art organizations. The Artist Relief Trust, or ART, is facilitated by Elevator Artist Resource. The initiative, originally started with funds from the Great Meadows Foundation, the Kentucky Foundation for Women and private donors, is offering microgrants to visual and performing artists in Kentucky and Southern Indiana. The Fund for the Arts, in partnership with the Arts and Culture Alliance, also has two COVID-19 Emergency Support Grants, one for individual performing artists and another for nonprofit arts and culture organizations. —Jo Anne Triplett

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

FOOD & DRINK

A MEAL IN THREE ACTS, OR... DINING OUT IN THE AGE OF CORONAVIRUS By Kevin Gibson | leo@leoweekly.com

Royals’ three-piece tenders meal (extra hot), spicy wedges and a dipping sauce, Mississippi Comeback. | PHOTOS BY KEVIN GIBSON.

WHILE WE ALL LONG for the days when we can return to our favorite restaurants for a leisurely meal or to our favorite pubs for drinks with friends, we find ourselves making do with what we’re allowed to have in difficult days of social distancing. We also find ourselves doing our best, in a historically difficult social and economic atmosphere, to not only sustain ourselves but also to help these local businesses we love. And it’s really not difficult to do. I decided to treat myself to a full-blown meal, carryout style, from three different places. Here are my suggestions for places to visit one after the other or on different days, as I did. I started with Royals Hot Chicken as the main course because, well, I like it spicy. And if you haven’t ventured out to get local carryout yet, I’ll tell you this much: Royals makes it easy. First, I jumped onto the restaurant’s website, selected my three-piece tenders meal (extra hot), selected a side (spicy wedges), then chose a dipping sauce (Mississippi Comeback). Once my online cart was full, I simply went to checkout, typed in my payment info, added a tip and the deal was done. I was even able to choose a pickup time. When I showed up, about two minutes early, I was greeted by a pair of young people sitting

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

behind a table. One asked for my name, I provided it, and she stepped inside and emerged seconds later with my dinner in a brown paper bag. It was a perfect transaction. And while, by the time I sat down to eat, the food wasn’t as piping hot as if I’d dined in the restaurant, that’s true with any carryout meal, pandemic notwithstanding. But the food held up to the usual Royals’ standard. That said, the extra hot sauce dripping from the crispy chicken lit me up pretty well – thank goodness for dipping sauce to ease the burn. For dessert, I decided on The Café, which is noted for its fresh cakes and pies. I’d had the tuxedo cake once before, so I called the restaurant – no online ordering options available – and told the person who answered what I wanted. She told me to call her when I arrive, didn’t even take my name. When I arrived, I parked outside the entrance facing Brent Street and called. It was a different person, who asked for my name. I explained I had ordered the cake and she said she’d be right out. No one came. So I called again and got a different person, who asked for my name. Turns out, I had parked in the wrong spot. Oops. So, if you get carryout from The Café, be sure to park in the back parking lot.

But they were understanding and friendly, conducted the transaction as I sat in my car, and the slice of cake they gave me, along with plastic utensils and napkin, was ridiculously huge. Not surprisingly, it was just as rich, fresh and delicious as I’d remembered. Course three? After-dinner drinks, of course. Now, by drinks Saki, one of the two Apocalypse Brew Works cats and social distancing setup. in this case, I PHOTO PROVIDED BY APOCALYPSE BREW WORKS. sanitizer, just for safety’s sake. decided to keep it I wiped down the glass growler once I simple and stop by Apocalypse Brew Works, got home, but other than that, I felt like it which is near my house. was an efficient and relatively germ-free The taproom at the brewery is a phone experience, which is exactly what we all booth compared to many breweries around want right about now. And the beer was the city, so I was curious about how the pretty darn good too. carryout process would work in the age of But the point of all this is that it’s not coronavirus-mandated social distancing. difficult to dine out and also dine in, being As I approached, I noticed a couple of observant of the social lockdown we’re all people standing outside the propped-open under right now. Consider trying a place you doors. Empty kegs were placed at roughly haven’t been to in a while, or one you’ve six feet from the counter, marking the waitwanted to try and just haven’t. ing point. All others simply wait outside Local restaurants need the help if they’re until they’re on deck. Also at the six-foot going to get through to the other side of this point is a hand sanitizer station, which was pandemic. • a nice touch, offering the opportunity to sanitize your hands going in and potentially going out. I placed my growler on one end of the bar, which conveniently is about six feet long, asked for a fill of Apollo IPA and simply waited. I did the same with my card once the growler was sealed, and the only real point of contact outside of the growler itself was using my finger to sign off on the transaction. On the way out? The Café’s tuxedo cake. Another squirt of

FOOD & DRINK

Louisville Beer Store to pick one beer for me and one for my sweetie, who’ll always have what I’m having but prefers something deep, never bitter, brewed to match his pensive soul. Beer, like life, is inﬁnitely enjoyable when enjoyed together. —Megan Campbell Smith

CECILIA WHEAT RYE PALE ALE MANNA KELLERBIER

NOT ORDERING A CORONA: 7 BEERS TO RIDE OUT THE EPIDEMIC SURE, WE ALL MISS going to our favorite, local breweries for their latest concoctions and the joie de vivre of drinking with friends and strangers. As Whitney Martin, half of the LEO Beer Me! column, said so mathematically below, “my ability to enjoy beer is diminished by approximately 60% thanks to the COVID buzzkill.” But, beer is the ultimate in portable potables, so put on a mask and hit a brewery. Here are suggestions from our team of suds experts.

VOORJAAR

Monnik Beer Co. A seasonal treat, the Voorjaar is one of the many delightful saisons offered by Monnik Beer Co. The body is a bronzed shade of gold, deep-hued but translucent to let the light in. You can catch the ginger and cardamom at the nose, which suggest a heavier presence than the smooth, sublime ﬁnish. As we’re all trapped inside with the daily dread of the news cycle, the Voorjaar is a ray of sunshine in the gloom. Clocking in at 5.6% ABV, the Voorjaar is light enough that you can session it, which Spring means Voorjaar, is a current experience that many of us have — binging the news, says Monnik Beer Co. then binging a few drinks to relax. This is exactly what you need in trying times: something to knock the edge off of hard days, but that’s perfect for cool nights. —Syd Bishop

STILLWATER DOUBLE MOCHA AFFOGATO HITACHINO NEST WHITE ALE

The Louisville Beer Store To-go beer is all about mood and transitions. Whoever I was 30 minutes ago needs to blur at life’s edges knowing whomever I become two hours from now will be comforted by traditions of Home. Was my day jarring, jagged, deserving a smooth and velvety trip to the tummy, something with enough calories to support a long talk on the porch instead of diving right into dinner prep? Then, I’m looking for Stillwater’s Double Mocha Affogato (6% ABV) and pouring it into a pint glass to savor every toasty Hitachino Nest White Ale cocoa nip. Was my day glorious, maybe even victorious and earning a quick and effervescent diffusion before picking up the next of life’s perfunctory rituals? Then, a crisp, dry ale such as Hitachino Nest White Ale (5.5% ABV) is warranted. Whatever the mood and the transition desired, I always go to the

False Idol Independent Brewers I miss the taproom. For me, the overall enjoyment of beer is greatly influenced by the taproom’s vibes (30%), the people I’m with (30%), the fact that I’m supporting local (10%) and the actual taste of the beer (20%). Therefore, my ability to enjoy beer is diminished by approximately 60% thanks to the COVID buzzkill. That being said, we can still swig local suds from a growler or crowler. At least for now. Thanks to the huge increase Manna Kellerbier is described by in to-go sales, there is a national shortage of growler and False Idol Independent Brewing as ‘a Bavarian-style, unfiltered Pilsner is crowler containers, as most of them are being bought balanced and drinkable, with a spicy up by FEMA. Wait. That’s something else. Anyway, nose and crisp finish.’ we swung by False Idol this weekend due to the fact it will allow you to bring in your own growlers for fill. The folks there were grateful for our business, were cracking heads on social distancing and explained the well-researched and thorough approach they are taking on sanitizing beer vessels. We got the Cecilia Wheat Rye Pale Ale and the Manna Kellerbier. We enjoyed them both but only remembered to make tasting notes on the first (go figure). Craig said it had a “nice creamy, lacy foam, a subtle hop aroma, and a nice bite on the side of the tongue, with a sweet/smooth finish on the back.” (I just said, “more, please”). —Whitney Martin

IPA

Monnik Beer Co. Growlers in a pandemic. There’s a certain anticipation that goes along with popping the seal off a fresh growler of beer and knowing you have a finite amount of time to enjoy that liquid before it goes flat. For my money, if I’m left sitting on the porch in a pandemic (as I am most days now), my go-to is Monnik Beer Co.’s IPA. It’s my favorite beer in town as an everyday go-to with its crisp body, tropical hop profile and satisfying bitterness on the finish. You know what? Make it two growlers of Monnik IPA. You never know how long this shutdown is going to last, after all. —Kevin Gibson

Kevin Gibson, enjoying a Monnik IPA while not suds distancing on his porch.

OL’ BLUE EYES

Gravely Brewing Co. Somewhere along the never-ending IPA boom of the past decade, I got a little burned out of heavily hopped ales with the sort of alcohol percentage that could quickly turn your brain into pudding. So I’m glad to see more ﬁnely crafted light beers pop up, something that Gravely seems to specialize in. And, right now, that materializes in their Italian pilsner Ol’ Blue Eyes, a crisp, ﬂavorful beer that only clocks in at 4.7% but has an IBU of 35 for some kick. It’s named after Frank Sinatra, and like the music of the storied crooner, Ol’ Blue Eyes is best enjoyed on long and lazy days. And right now you can get a plastic growler of it from Gravely via curbside pickup. —Scott Recker •

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

ETC.

42 47

80 87

75 83

89 93

100

101

105

102

103

106

107

110

111

114

115

116

119

120

121

122

123

124

125

126

112

108

109

113

117

118

97 Gets used (to) 98 Gopher, e.g. 99 Fighter pilot’s wear 100 [head slap] 102 Masochist’s pleasure 103 Generate, as suspicion 106 Peaceful protest 107 Brown shade 108 Evening hour in Spain 109 Cartomancer’s deck 111 Pointed remark 112 Actor Morales 116 Rattle 117 ‘‘____ voce poco fa’’ (Rossini aria) 118 One of the March sisters R E S T E A S Y

P A I N

A G I L M E L E E S H S A L L A P I R T A D O

A R O U S E P R O W

T S B E I C O N L I D S L A Y T O T S I D O N C O W E A R N R D U S T M I A M B E R E E T O G R E T

G O S U N T S E L T T O E H A N O A V E I M E S

H O L D I T

52 Lower-extremity affliction 53 Secret target 54 Capt.’s assistant, maybe 58 Milk: Fr. 62 Where the meaning of life was sold in 2000 for $3.26 63 Part of a job application 64 European museum whose name means ‘‘meadow’’ 67 Sign on again 68 Another name for the moonfish 69 Common wedding hairstyle 70 Undergo rapprochement 71 Stern’s opposite 72 ‘‘Today’’ rival, for short 76 ‘‘Old ____ Road,’’ longest-running No. 1 single in Billboard history (19 weeks) 78 You might open one at a pub 80 Kind of book or ad 81 Didn’t just float 82 Home of 72-Down 84 Mortimer ____, dummy of old radio and TV 86 Newcomer, informally 88 Org. in charge of the 23-Down 89 Not worry 91 Country whose most widely spoken language is Wolof 94 Democratic politician Julián 95 Flower for a corsage 96 First name in the 1970s White House

92 98

104

63 68

B E A N O

U C O N N

E N O L E W D W I O T E R S A T D R O O B E I S E B O U A P P Y A D H O

36 41

T O G A S

35 40

14 21

A S E I W A R E T S A L T U G E N M R C A S H

K I N I S C O T H O U T S T I S C H E M H E A Y E O L A L O N E T P E L B U R L T I S F A H O A P S A W N O W B A P A C O S U M O A P S P E I S J U S T A N A I R A I N

LEOWEEKLY.COM // APRIL 15, 2020

1 Coverings on ancient Roman statuary 2 Women’s-basketball powerhouse, for short 3 Gas-relieving brand 4 ‘‘What a relief!’’ 5 ‘‘4-Down-choo!’’ 6 Poe poem about a mythical quest 7 Scurriers near streams 8 Minor cut, say 9 Makeup holder 10 Suffix with Black or brack 11 ‘‘Can’t deal with that right now!’’ 12 Lacking focus 13 Unbridled joy 14 Composer Mahler 15 Low tie 16 Canonized fifth-century pope called ‘‘the Great’’ 17 ‘‘Stop right there!’’ 20 Adorable one 23 ____ Research Center 24 Org. tracking workplace accidents 29 English setting for a series of Impressionist paintings by Monet 31 Neighbor of an Emirati 32 Young weaned pig 33 Monk’s digs 36 Word with tippy or twinkle 37 ‘‘2001: A Space Odyssey’’ computer 38 Puts on . . . or things put on 39 Ugly ones sometimes come out in December 40 Nosh at noon, say 42 Diamond stat 45 Second-most-common Vietnamese surname 46 Home of Wichita Falls 47 Magnum ____ 48 Game-ball material 49 The scat got her tongue, you might say 51 Where bills pile up

G S U I T

Down

R O D E N T

1 Orchestra heavyweights 6 Mushroom in ramen 11 When tripled, a comment of annoyance 14 ‘‘Oh, my!’’ 18 It has a very big bed 19 One of a pair of explorers on the Missouri state quarter 20 Spring feature 21 Golden-rule word 22 Run-on sentence? 25 ____-by date 26 Common female middle name 27 Wax theatrical 28 Sharply dressed, shoewise? 30 Boring events 32 Bit of conniving 34 Five-letter world capital that locals spell as two words 35 Tempe neighbor 36 Passing comment? 38 Riding the waves 41 Something a bib catches 43 Busy Bee, for short 44 Single quote? 50 Doesn’t touch 55 Head to bed 56 Surreal finale? 57 Big name in student grants 59 Order to attack 60 ____ Paradise, ‘‘On the Road’’ protagonist 61 Weapon associated with the film quote ‘‘Here’s Johnny!’’ 63 Sack cloth 65 Hats, slangily 66 Just saying? 72 ____ Roddenberry, first TV writer on the Hollywood Walk of Fame 73 Ancient Greek poet sometimes called the Tenth Muse 74 Smear 75 Preschooler 77 Nickname for Baseball Hall-of-Famer Ernie Banks 79 When tripled, ‘‘etc.’’ 80 Educational TV spot, for short 83 Square dance move 85 Fireplace item 87 Stock phrase? 90 Not commercial: Abbr. 92 Briskly 93 Bring in

S E N E G A L

Across

A S A N H E A E M O Z E M E S A N T T I R E A X R N A E S U B P A N R E I T O N A U B B R A E R S B

No. 0419

G E R A L D

BY JIM PEREDO / EDITED BY WILL SHORTZ

O R C H I D

DOUBLE TALK

94 Self expression? 101 Trade jabs 104 Sports venue 105 “Outta luck!” 106 Magical powder 110 Prepped for surgery 112 Children’s-song refrain 113 Uma Thurman’s role in ‘‘Pulp Fiction’’ 114 Yonder, in dialect 115 Old saw? 119 Anger 120 Spew anger 121 ____ Mitchell, creator of the Tony-winning musical ‘‘Hadestown’’ 122 Handle 123 ‘‘What are the ____?’’ 124 Deli sandwich, hold the vowels 125 Like stereotypical Seattle weather 126 Symbol of the National Audubon Society

C A S T R O

The New York Times Magazine Crossword

PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON

ETC.

SAVAGE LOVE

By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage

QUICKIES

Q: I am a super queer presenting female who recently accepted that I have desires for men. My partner of two years is bisexual and understands the desires, but has personally dealt with those desires via masturbation while my desires include acting. Her perspective is that the grass is greener where you water it and that my desire to act is immature, selfish, and has an unrealistic end game. What gives when you don’t feel fulfilled sexually in a monogamous relationship? Open Or Over? Something definitely gives when a person doesn’t feel fulfilled in a monogamous relationship—sometimes it’s an ultimatum that’s given, sometimes it’s a one-time-only hall pass that’s given, sometimes it’s an agreement to open the relationship that’s given. But the relationship sometimes gives, e.g. the relationship collapses under the weight of competing and mutually exclusive needs and desires. If you want to open things up (if allowed) and she wants to keep things closed (no allowance), OOO, it’s ultimately your willpower—your commitment to honoring the commitment you’ve made—that’s likely to give. Q: I have a close friend who’s cheating on her girlfriend. It has been going on for over a year. At first I actually supported the exploration because my friend has a really unsupportive girlfriend who has done really crappy things to her over the course of their relationship. I kept pushing for her to make a decision and use this affair as a way for her to free herself, but she is just coasting along with her girlfriend and her lover. She’s under a lot of stress and she’s turned into a major liar and it’s creeping me out. I’m considering either telling her girlfriend myself (though I promised my friend I wouldn’t) or maybe I just need to end this friendship. My friend’s double life upsets me. It’s just been going on too long. Is My Friend An Asshole? If your friend—the one leading the double life—is asking you to run interference for her, if she’s asking you to lie to her girlfriend, or if she’s asked you to compromise your integrity in some way, she’s an asshole and you’re a sap; tell your friend you’re done covering for her and that you won’t be able to see her again until the deceit or the pandemic is over, whichever comes first. If the

issue your friend expects you to ooze sympathize while she goes on and on about the mess she’s made of her life, IMFAA, simply refuse to discuss the mess that is her love life with her. Remind her that she already knows what you think needs to do—she needs to break the fuck up with her shitty girlfriend— and then change the subject. Q: I’m a cis het woman who loves men and loves dicks. I love dicks so much that I fantasize about having one. Nothing brings me to orgasm more quickly or reliably than closing my eyes and imagining my own dick, or imagining myself as my partner, and what they’re feeling through their dick. I love being a woman, and I’m afraid to bring this up with any partner(s) of mine. Is this super weird? Am I secretly trans somehow? Am I overthinking this? Perfect Minus Penis It’s not that weird, some people are trans and you could be one of them (but fantasizing about having a dick ≠ being a male), and you’re overthinking what you should be enjoying. Buy a strap-on, tell your partners about your fantasies, and enjoy having the dick the dick you can have. Q: I wonder if you might be able to put a label on this sex act: It has to do with overstimulation, in this case of a penis (mine). After receiving a wonderful hand job, the giver kept stroking me purposefully. My penis was in a heightened, super-sensitive state. It was almost like being tickled, if you’re ticklish. I was being forcefully held down (consensually), and just as I thought I couldn’t take it anymore, I had a second amazing orgasm. I didn’t ejaculate again, it was more of a body orgasm. It came in waves and everything was warm. It was mindblowing, spiritual, galactic, unique, and very similar to how I’ve heard women describe their orgasms. Ever hear of anything like this? Is this some sot of Japanese underground kink thing? Witty Hilarious Overzealous Amateur The act you’re describing already has a name, WHOA, and an entry on Urban Dictionary: apple-polishing. Most men ﬁnd the sensation of having the head of their cock worked so overwhelming that their bodies involuntarily recoil, which makes it difﬁcult to polish someone’s apple if the “victim”

isn’t restrained in some way. But it’s not painful—it’s like being tickled; indeed, the victim usually reacts with desperate laughter and gasping pleas for it to stop. (Don’t ask me how I know.) That all-over feeling of euphoria you experienced when your apple got polished was most likely a wave of endorphins—like a runner who pushes herself past her physical limits and experiences an full-body “runner’s high,” you were pushed past your physical limits, WHOA, and experienced the same sort of high. Q: I have a weird and terrible problem. I’ve been seeing someone new, and have just discovered that I get diarrhea every time I swallow his come. Like debilitating pee poops an hour after, every time. I know the solution to the problem would be to stop swallowing, but I was wondering if you had ever heard of this before or knew why this was. My Sad Asshole I have heard of this before, MSA, and superstar Savage Love guest expert Dr. Debby Herbenick unpacked the cause for another reader a few years back: “Prostaglandins are substances made by the body and that the body is sensitive to. Semen contains prostaglandins—and prostaglandins can have a laxative effect on people. Related: If you’ve ever felt a little loosey-goosey right before getting your period, that’s also thanks to prostaglandins (which spike just before your period, because the prostaglandins get the uterine muscles to contract, which then helps to shed the lining of the uterus, resulting in a menstrual period). So why don’t more semen swallowers ﬁnd themselves running to the bathroom post-blowjob? I don’t know why most people aren’t extra-sensitive to prostaglandins, but fortunately most of us aren’t, or there would probably be a lot less swallowing in the world.” So, MSA, you’ll have to stop swallowing your boyfriend’s come or only swallow when you have immediate access to a toilet in a restroom with a powerful fan. Q: I’m a 35-year-old straight guy. I recently started seeing an amazing 34-yearold girl. We love being around each other, but during sex, neither of us can come. It’s infuriating, to say the least. She has no trouble when she masturbates and I know I have no trouble when I masturbate, so why can’t we come together? Can’t Understand Matter If you can come when you masturbate and she can come when she masturbates, CUM, masturbate together and you’ll be coming together. Mutual masturbation isn’t a sad consolation prize—mutual masturbation is

sex and it can be great sex. And the more often you come together through mutual masturbation, CUM, the likelier it gets that you’ll be able to come together while enjoying other things. Listen to the Savage Lovecast- this week with Erin Gibson. www.savagelovecast.com. mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. www.savagelovecast.com

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