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ON: EDITOR’S NOTE, STATE GOP PRIORITY? ATTACK ANDY
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The GOP cares nothing for the people. They want to burn down the country and drink while they watch. —Jason Lamoreaux The buck stops with Gov. Beshear. Time to lead or leave. Always someone else’s fault. —Gary Butts They are too dumb to put something on the floor. Just like the healthcare plan Trump had. —Charles Eaves How soon lil’ Aaron forgets that baby Beshear spent four years as attorney general doing exactly what Aaron is accusing Republicans of doing in the article above. Karma, baby — it’s a bitch. —Dale Rhoades Except, unlike Danny Cameron, Andy was usually winning. —Jason Puckett
ON: HEROES OR LOSERS? HISTORY SHOWS TRUMP’S RISE AND FAILURE A FAMILIAR STORY
Wonderful article Mr. Hill. Some people just don’t know their history or care. —Howard Wilson What would you expect from Yarmouth’s pathetic rag of a “newspaper”?! —Steve Boehman @StevesFunFarm A well-written history. Worth reading. —Kenn Stacy
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LEO Weekly is published weekly by LEO Weekly LLC. Copyright LEO Weekly LLC. All rights reserved. The opinions expressed herein are exclusively those of the writers and do not necessarily reflect the position of the Publisher. LEO Weekly is available free of charge, limited to one copy per reader. No portion may be reproduced in whole or in part by any means, including electronic retrieval systems, without the express permission of LEO Weekly LLC. LEO Weekly may be distributed only by authorized independent contractors or authorized distributors. Louisville Eccentric Observer (LEO) is a trademark of LEO Weekly LLC.
Bob Hill just proved that he doesn’t know the first thing about Donald Trump. Where is his story about Joe Biden ... ? —Richard Wood [Ed. note: Hey Dick, we redacted the unfounded, libelous and otherwise baseless allegations against Biden because... it is our paper!]
ON: COMMITTEE PASSES RESOLUTION TO RETURN KING LOUIS XVI TO CITY HALL
We need more amateur murals. Screw this real-art shit. —Pip Pullen Leave it in storage with all those building facades that we were promised would be used in new projects. —Ken Maguire Please. It’s about as “historical” as a Confederate statue. I’ve been in Louisville longer than that statue. Send it back to the jackass heir who got bent out of shape when his beheaded ancestor got his hand lopped off too. —Kentucky Jacquerie @defargeknits I’m all for fixing this thing but maybe this is not the optimal time. —Maggie @LouGirl502
ON: 6 WAYS TO MAKE THE BEST BURGERS
We just tried The Fat Lamb’s cheeseburger. Nice burger. Thanks for the post. — Ed Marksberry @CheerUpYall LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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EDITOR’S NOTE
POLS, NOT RESTAURANTS DESERVE IRE By Aaron Yarmuth | ayarmuth@leoweekly.com IF YOU ARE LOOKING to be outraged, you’ll have to wait for the dessert course of this column. For starters, though, swallow your outrage over those complaining that restaurant restrictions during the pandemic are unfair. At least, resist predetermining boycotts of establishments that say they are going to reopen indoor dining next week regardless of whether the state-ordered shutdown is lifted. Restaurants have been forced to adapt to more revisions to rules and restrictions than any other industry, in addition to shouldering the personal anxieties we all face. Restaurants, industry workers and their defenders might have legitimate concerns, or… beef. One reason is that one-size rules and regulations have never fit the restaurant industry well. Take, for instance, the requirement that restaurants include calorie counts on their menus. At first glance, food industry objections to providing this basic health
information seemed greedy and deceitful. It’s easy to imagine big-chain restaurant CEOs fearing the public’s response, “If they only knew how many calories are in their gigante mocha latte with whipped cream!” The truth is this: Small, independent restaurants change their menus regularly and can’t afford to print and replace new menus every night. And they definitely can’t pay for food scientists to study every new dish. Then, major pizza chains said they can’t include a calorie count for every pizza they offer — the number of topping combinations would make the list thousands of lines long. Further, why would they be required to post calorie counts on menus in their stores when nobody walks into a Papa Johns or Dominos to order. But, forget about calorie counting. Navigating the global health pandemic presents countless more variables and complexities. So, allow me to recommend for the main course: Consider how the smaller restaurants
have thinner margins and less cushion to help them survive change. When the same safety protocols must be applied, it’s the small, independent places that are more likely to struggle than the chains. It’s the family-owned, family-run kitchen for whom the business is more than a job or hobby but a livelihood that struggles most. It’s also more likely that these are the restaurateurs with personal ties to the community, extending that anxiety and frustration further. Some might have taken what little savings they had and invested in expanded outdoor seating, online ordering and takeout operations, or reconfiguring their dining room to allow more social distancing. And now, they have to sustain another shutdown. So, while the idea that some restaurants insist on remaining open to in-person dining might sound absurd, selfish and reckless, it’s possible that while the airing of grievances might sound political, it’s really a deeper, understandable frustration and anxiety. Now, for your outrageous dessert: Blowhard politicians and anti-maskers perpetuating a false narrative of freedom — well, they deserve the pain and suffering that comes from catching COVID-19. That’s not my opinion. It’s a scientific fact that if they
choose to ignore the recommended medical guidelines, if they catch it, they deserve it. In particular, Kentucky Rep. Savannah Maddox and Sen. Damon Thayer, who happened to run into each other, both maskless, at Beans Cafe and Bakery in Hebron, Kentucky. Maddox and Thayer both told the Cincinnati Enquirer that they chose Beans for the explicit reason that they could eat inside, in violation of the statewide ban. Maddox and Thayer… such arrogance and vanity are what masks were made for. Fortunately, Beans had its license to serve food revoked. Restaurant owners with that kind of disregard for the health of their customers and their communities should suffer severe consequences. And that’s how the system should work: Restaurants that flout the rules will be dealt with, without public outrage, shaming and threats of boycotts. Instead, direct that outrage to U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell. Ask him why he hasn’t allowed a vote on a second COVID-19 relief package, even though the first one he likes to take credit for was designed to expire around July. After all, you can’t trash his takeout if he can’t dine-in. •
UNDERCOVER
MANOFMETTLE.COM LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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THE MIDWESTERNIST
JUSTICE BARRETT WON’T STOP KILLER COPS By Dan Canon | leo@leoweekly.com NOW that it’s been over a month since Justice Amy Coney Barrett’s confirmation, I can confidently say she is not qualified to sit on the Supreme Court. Sure, she was nominated by the vilest figure in the last century of American politics. Sure, Mitch McConnell rammed her nomination through the Senate while millions of Americans were dying, getting evicted and trying to figure out where their next meal was coming from. And sure, Barrett is an ideologue who will undoubtedly be toxic to women, unions, the LGBTQ community, immigrants and any other vulnerable population you can think of. Those curiosities render her unqualified from the get-go. But this column is not about any of that stuff, about which billions of useless words have already been spent. This is a story about Brad King, who is dead, and his parents, Matt and Gina, who are alive. I had the privilege of representing them in front of then-Judge Barrett earlier this year, during the brief period of time she presided over the Seventh Circuit Court of Appeals. Brad was killed in his own backyard in central Indiana after he called 911 to report a mental health crisis. He was 29. Because of his mild schizophrenia, he lived with his parents. He had no history of violent or aggressive behavior whatsoever. In her testimony, Brad’s mother Gina described him as “just sweet,” and as much as she worried about his mental health, she was never concerned about her safety or anyone else’s. A “bad day” for Brad was a day when he would “be more quiet and stay in his room.” Even in leaving him alone, Gina’s only concern was that she “felt sorry for him. Because I know sometimes when Brad would get nervous, he would want to call people. Sometimes if he was having a bad day, he would say, ‘I need to call my brothers and talk to them,’ or, ‘Let’s call Grandma’ or something.” Where the Kings live, as in most of America, the only responders to mental health calls are cops, many of whom might have had a few hours (at best) of training on recognizing mental health issues. But Brad had made emergency calls before and experienced deputies were always able to talk him down without incident. On Nov. 29, 2016, things didn’t go so smoothly. Two volunteer, part-time sheriff’s deputies, one who was a full-time researcher for Eli Lilly and the other an insurance
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agent, answered the call. They killed Brad within 30 seconds of laying eyes on him. Their story was that Brad lunged at a deputy with a 10-inch kitchen knife that he produced from the pocket of his shorts. Brad wasn’t able to tell his side of the story. But the story told by the cops didn’t add up. The knife they supposedly recovered had no fingerprints on it. One deputy said the knife was in his right hand; the other said it was his left hand. The knife was recovered from Brad’s left side, but he was right-handed. And even though Brad was supposedly charging directly at one of the deputies, the bullet entered his shoulder and traveled left to right through his body. Even assuming the deputies told the truth about what happened, it’s hard to see why they defaulted to lethal force. Brad’s father Matt summed it up aptly: “He called for help that day. That’s what I know. He called for help, numerous times. And they knew — they knew he was coming — they knew they were coming because there was a person suffering from a mental issue. They knew that. It wasn’t a criminal thing that they were investigating. It was a health-related issue. So, those two guys should have never been there to begin with.” None of this was enough to move Barrett or the two other judges on the panel, who refused to revive the Kings’ case after it was summarily tossed in the trash by a different Trump judge before it got to trial. The judges said that despite all the physical and circumstantial evidence, it wasn’t even worth letting a jury hear the case. The self-serving story of two part-time cops was good enough to deprive the Kings of any hope of closure for the death of their son. Perhaps you’ve reserved some optimism for the whole “Barrett’s a mom and a Catholic so there must be some compassion there” thing. Sorry, but no. In her confirmation hearings, she spoke about how the George Floyd video was “very, very personal” for her family and that she and her children “wept together” over what must have been the zillionth police murder in her history as a lawyer and mother. But her mentor, the late Justice Antonin Scalia, seemed to think it was constitutional to put innocent people to death, despite his ultra-Catholicism. There’s no reason to believe that any sort of ideological consistency will prevail simply because of a judge’s familial status or bizarre meta-
Brad King. | PHOTO COURTESY OF THE KING FAMILY.
physical beliefs, and those factors made no apparent difference in Brad’s case. Here’s where this gets complicated: In saying that being part of this horrendous decision should disqualify a judge from serving on the Supreme Court, by extension, I’m saying that damn near every federal judge is similarly unqualified. Almost none of them believe that cops should be held accountable for killing mentally ill people who call for help. This sort of thinking, in which cops are extended every benefit of every doubt, feasible or unfeasible, is the norm. Barrett didn’t even write the opinion in Brad’s case. It was written by a liberal judge who, like all her colleagues (of whatever political persuasion), was willing to write the police a blank check. That’s how our courts have operated for decades, and even in a post-BLM society, few of those in robes have the intestinal fortitude to do anything different.
So, I am unmoved by Justice Barrett’s faith. I am unmoved by her status as a working mother of seven. I am particularly unmoved by her fake expression of sympathy for George Floyd, whose case she had nothing to do with, when she couldn’t spare any for the people who actually appear before her. I’m unmoved because I’ve seen so little compassion for grieving parents like Matt and Gina throughout my career, from any federal judge, let alone the Federalist Society drones who have lately taken over the judiciary. The basic inability to do what’s right for families like the Kings should be disqualifying. Not just for Amy Coney Barrett, but for the whole lot of ‘em. • Dan Canon is a civil rights lawyer and law professor. “Midwesticism”is his shortdocumentary series about Midwesterners who are making the world a better place. Watch it at: patreon.com/dancanon.
GIVE THE GIFT OF MUSIC Innovative Concerts, Interviews and Concert Talks with Teddy Abrams Ensemble performances by the Louisville Orchestra Musicians Solo performances by guest artists, and more! Watch on your own schedule, or see it live online
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Teddy Abrams, conductor/piano Sarah Jarosz, guest artist Bob Bernhardt, conductor Byron Stripling, trumpet
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GO TO LOUISVILLEORCHESTRA.ORG TO GIVE THE GIFT OF MUSIC WITH THE LOVE SPRING SERIES! LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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WRITE SOME SHIT
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‘ALL HANDS ON DECK. KEEP GOING!’ – TRAVIS NAGDY By Hannah L. Drake | leo@leoweekly.com
TRYING TO MAKE SENSE out of something senseless often doesn’t make sense. I had the opportunity to meet Travis at Injustice Square Park, as many of us did following the tragic murder of Breonna Taylor. Whether you knew him by Travis or his nickname Cairo, whether you were at Injustice Square Park one day or over 100 days, everyone knew the young man with the huge voice, megaphone and big curly hair. Travis quickly emerged as a leader, megaphone in hand, leading us through the streets of Louisville demanding justice for Breonna Taylor. Sadly, as the days turned into weeks, we continued to add names to our list of chants: David McAtee and Tyler Gerth. Tragically, Travis Nagdy’s name joins the chorus of names that have defined an era in Louisville’s fight for justice. When I first learned of the murder of Travis, I was devastated. How does this city continue to put out the flames of our brightest candles? Travis was in the process of becoming, and all that he would be, we will not have the chance to experience. One thing that I believe is vitally important when someone passes are their last words. The weight of a person’s last words is often too heavy for many people to bear. The last words someone utters are so powerful that the court of law deems them a dying declaration and will usually admit a person’s last words into evidence. Typically, a person’s last words are what is extremely important to them. Travis’ last words to this community are sealed on Facebook. After hearing of another police-involved shooting, Travis’ statement is just one sentence, “All hands on deck 22 & Gilligan.” What was essential to Travis is that all
hands were on deck. That we don’t get complacent. That we continue to do the work. That we continue the fight for justice. And it cannot just be a few of us demanding justice and equality in our city and throughout the nation but All hands must be on deck! All hands must be ready to do the work. All hands are needed if we are going to change the state of this nation. Travis gave us our marching orders when he started his organization Keep Going, based on the quote by Harriet Tubman, “If you hear the dogs, keep going. If you see the torches in the woods, keep going. If there’s shouting after you, keep going. Don’t ever stop. Keep going. If you want a taste of freedom, keep going.” I know this is a difficult moment. Many of us have lost a friend, a brother, someone so dear to us; many of us older than him considered him a son. The pain is there. The hurt is real. But Travis told us what to do, and by doing that, we honor the short but incredibly deep life he led.
ALL HANDS ON DECK! AND KEEP GOING! Mama, mama can’t you see… What the system’s done to me They locked us up They put us down Aint’ no justice in this town… Hannah L. Drake is an author, poet and spoken word artist. Follow her at writesomeshit.com and on Twitter at hannahdrake628. •
NEWS & ANALYSIS
HOW KENTUCKY MISSED OUT ON A $90 MILLION UNEMPLOYMENT UPGRADE By Jared Bennett | Kentucky Center For Investigative Reporting AFTER the 2008 recession revealed the weaknesses of the nation’s unemployment insurance systems, most states got to work upgrading their technology. The need for such an overhaul was obvious, and the reason the federal government set aside $7 billion in 2009 to modernize the nation’s unemployment systems. Forty states took the free money. But Kentucky left it on the table. The commonwealth missed out on a cool $90 million back then. But experts say the failure to bring Kentucky’s unemployment insurance system into the 21st century is costing Kentucky to without income to support their family. this day. It also means fewer federal unemployment dollars circulating in Kentucky’s A task force appointed by then-Gov. economy. Steve Beshear prioritized stabilizing “Especially what we’ve seen now the struggling unemployment insurduring this pandemic is that states with ance trust fund over improving the old terrible systems that couldn’t get people infrastructure. It scheduled incrementhrough, they lost out on a lot of federal tal tax increases on businesses, cut money,” said Michele Evermore, a benefits and delayed major system upgrades until the state’s fiscal situation policy expert at the National Employment Law Project and a member of improved. President-elect Joe Biden’s transition In January, Gov. Andy Beshear — team (although Steve Beshear’s she wasn’t son — began speaking in that taking steps Recessions put capacity). “All to replace the unemployment for the sake of technology. But pinching penthe state was still insurance in the nies between using a program recessions.” that predates spotlight and Already, the personal provide the best signs point computer when towards another the coronavirus opportunity for cost-cutting ushered in a new approach. policymakers employment Kentucky’s crisis. to invest in largely RepubDelays were lican legislature likely inevitable improvements. wants to insulate regardless of businesses from the technology tax increases, and Beshear has already as Kentucky dealt with unprecedented committed to spending upwards of numbers of new claims, but those seek$300 million of federal CARES Act ing help to get through the pandemic funding to pay down the $865 million dealt with crashing websites, frustratfederal loan Kentucky required in June. ing tech issues and outdated informaKevin Kinnaird, a spokesperson for tion in the application that the state the Kentucky Labor Cabinet, said the conceded was difficult to bring up to Office of Unemployment Insurance’s date. Delayed claims mean a worker
THORNS & ROSES THE WORST, BEST & MOST ABSURD THORN: NOW FOR THE REST OF THE STORY...
legislative priorities include investing in the current “archaic” system “to be more efficient and responsive to unemployed Kentuckians” as well as increasing the number of staff. “The problem is we keep prioritizing keeping business taxes low at the expense of dislocated workers and our economy when we hit hard times,” said Jason Bailey, executive director of the Kentucky Center for Economic Policy. Policymakers often keep unemployment insurance systems out of sight, out of mind during good times, when fewer people are exposed to its flaws, he said. Recessions put unemployment insurance in the spotlight and provide the best opportunity for policymakers to invest in improvements. “My fear,” Bailey said, “is that they are going to go the other direction.”
THE RECESSION
The Great Recession put so many Kentuckians out of work by 2009 that the state needed a $972 million loan from the federal government to keep paying unemployment claims. Nearly every state required such a loan. They had until 2012 to pay it off, or the federal government would automatically increase business wage taxes. In Kentucky, this meant taxes would increase on businesses by .3% every year after 2012. At the same time, states were running unemployment systems on technology that predated the personal
U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell writes in The Courier Journal about how his “forward-thinking parents, including a dad who actively participated in the Louisville Urban League, taught me from an early age to prize equality and dignity for all people.” More like dignity to all people who prop up his power. The New Yorker’s Jane Meyer’s profile of him gives us another view. She explains that his 2016 autobiography “does not mention that his father, who worked in the human-resources department at DuPont, was deposed by lawyers for the N.A.A.C.P. Legal Defense and Educational Fund in a historic racial-discrimination case. Kerry Scanlon, one of the lawyers, told me, ‘The leadership at that plant seemed to define racism. There was a plantation system in which the black employees did the hardest jobs, like working in front of these open fires where they got burned — and they got the worst pay. There was a systemic pattern of racism.’ After years of litigation, the company settled the case, for fourteen million dollars.”
ROSE: DUDE STAYED FOR THE CHEESE CURDS
If you are looking for good news, Harper and Athena, two golden eagles and lovers, have returned from summering in Canada to reunite in the Bernheim Arboretum and Research Forest for the winter. Harper lagged behind Athena, spending an extra 17 days in Wisconsin en route to Bernheim, “most likely resting and refueling before the next leg of his flight which takes him over 400 miles of unfriendly Midwestern agricultural land,” Bernheim reported.
THORN: BUT LET’S SPEND OUR TIME TALKING ABOUT THE KING LOUIS STATUE FIRST...
Louisville has logged some 150 homicides so far this year, including the shooting of a 17-year-old on Third Street last Wednesday. That is roughly three homicides a week. The previous year record was 117 in 2016.
ABSURD: NEXT, A SERIES ON PAUL’S HAIR
We are unsure what is more absurd — that U.S. Sen. Rand “Ayn Wrong” Paul speculated fraud occurred in the presidential election, a claim widely and long proven false. Or, that The Courier Journal devoted some 1,300 words to say it, starting on the front page, no less.
ABSURD: READ IT WITH A BOULDER OF SALT
A CJ web headline: “Louisville has historically large salt on hand for roads this winter.”
THORN: PUT YOUR LIPS TOGETHER AND...
One joy of working from home is the continuous hum and roar of leaf blowers. LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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NEWS & ANALYSIS
computer. Old policies left many workers tions, including reducing benefits from 68% without unemployment benefits, should they of lost wages to 62% and establishing a lose their job. week-long delay between approval and the So the American Recovery and Reinvestfirst payment. The waiting week is supposed ment Act provided states with $90 million to save money by avoiding paying benefits each if they adopted reforms to cover more too soon, allowing time for documents to part-time, seasonal workers and anyone be mailed and staff to manually calculate leaving a job for a compelling personal benefits. reason, such as domestic violence or a As for the federal incentives, the task family move. force concluded even though the money would more than cover the technology The incentives could be used to pay benupgrade, the long-term costs of policies efits or to cover administrative costs — such expanding coverage outweighed the immeas modernizing the technology powering the diate $90 million reward. unemployment program. Sen. Givens said focusing on steps the Then-governor Steve Beshear put the task force didn’t decision to a task shopsassyfoxconsign.com make, such as the force chaired by Gov. Andy modernization Helen Mountjoy, who Beshear waived efforts, was “inapKentucky’s secretary propriate.” The goal, of Education and the waiting week Workforce Develophe said, was bringing ment, the cabinet nearly immediately the unemployment that housed the insurance trust fund to get money unemployment office to solvency through a until this year. Other plan that businesses, to claimants as members included conservative politiNew Hours 502.895.3711 Tue–Fri 11–5 pm 150 Chenoweth Ln Sen. David Givens, quickly as possible. cians and labor activSat 10–4 pm (R-Greensburg); ists could agree to. And some of the David Meyer, a vice “It was a very president of UPS; very lengthy, educasame changes first tional process, folrepresentatives from the Kentucky Chamlowed by a very thorproposed in 2009 ber of Commerce ough and rigorous were included and labor unions; negotiation between and Larry Roberts, competing interests,” in emergency who was director Givens said. of the Kentucky legislation State Building and WHAT’S Kentucky passed Construction Trades HAPPENING Council. NOW in March in order Roberts would This year’s panbecome secretary of to unlock federal demic in 2020 found Labor *For new clients only. Not to be combined with any other offer. Up to 2 pets per household. Exp. 8/30/14.Kentucky’s Cashier Code. 700.500 Kentucky’s unemunemployment Cabinet in 2013 ployment insurance under the elder Bessystem still lagging funding in the hear. Andy Beshear behind other states named him to the CARES Act. in both technology post again this year and unemployment — and the Labor funding. Cabinet took reins of the unemployment Kentucky’s Office of Unemployment Code. 700.500 office during the pandemic. Insurance reports over 75,000 claims are Roberts declined to be interviewed outstanding. More than 600 claims are from through a spokesperson, who said the secrepeople who have been trying to collect tary was “dedicated to ensuring Kentucky’s unemployment insurance benefits since Office of Unemployment Insurance is being March. old. Exp. 8/30/14. Cashier Code. 700.500 Kelly Neat, DVM • Jennifer Rainey, DVM • Emilee Zimmer, DVM • Baly McGill, DVM responsive to Kentuckians in need during clients *For only.new Not be clients combined other offer. toother 2 pets perUp household. 8/30/14. Cashier Code. clients only.only. Not with to be combined with any offer. Up 2 pets per household. Exp. 8/30/14. Cashier Code. Must 700.500 And the state covered far fewer unem*Forto new Not toany be combined withUp any other offer. toto2 pets perExp. household. Exp. 6/1/21. Cashier700.500 Code. 700.500 present coupon for discount. this pandemic.” ployed people than the national average: The task force met 11 times before its Only 19% of unemployed people in Kenfinal opinion was turned into legislation, tucky were covered by unemployment insur@vca_fairleigh passed by the general assembly and signed @vcafairleighanimalhospital ance because the rest had exhausted their 1212 Bardstown Road • Louisville, KY 40204 by Steve Beshear. www.vcafairleigh.com benefits, left the workforce or worked a part The task force made 17 recommenda502-451-6655 VCAfairleigh.com time or contract job that didn’t qualify. *The $25 First Exam is for wellness visits only.
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NEWS & ANALYSIS
Coverage increased when the pandemic hit, as Kentucky adopted many of the changes recommended by the federal government. Gov. Andy Beshear waived the waiting week nearly immediately to get money to claimants as quickly as possible. And some of the same changes first proposed in 2009 were included in emergency legislation Kentucky passed in March in order to unlock federal unemployment funding in the CARES Act. The unemployment office has not followed through on all those upgrades, however. For example, the 2009 task force passed on incentives that required adopting the “alternative base period,” which uses earnings from a worker’s most recent economic quarter to determine eligibility. Currently, a worker’s most recent earnings often aren’t counted. Lawmakers gave the unemployment office the option to use this alternative base period when it passed Senate Bill 150, but Kinnaird, the Labor Cabinet spokesperson, said the unemployment office has not implemented the policy. The emergency legislation also gave the unemployment office permission to establish a program to cover reduced hours with unemployment benefits, another recessionera reform that would allow employees to keep more people on the payroll. The CARES Act committed the federal government to fund up to half the costs of creating this program. The office drew up regulations under the Education and Workforce Development Cabinet, but the plans were scrapped once the Labor Cabinet took over. Kinnaird said “the statutory scheme is not in place to provide the framework or authorization for this program” because the federal government required a permanent program rather than a temporary one set up by emergency legislation. Givens, who is now in Republican leadership, said he would not support making major changes to the unemployment program right now, though he agreed the system is “obviously antiquated.” The legislature recognized this in 2018 when it created a separate fund to divert a portion of unemployment taxes into and save up for an eventual technology upgrade. The fund has five years to raise $60 million, according to the statute. By the end of 2019, the state had saved $16 million. Givens said one of his priorities is to protect people who were approved for unemployment insurance only to be deemed
retroactively ineligible and sent an overpayment bill. As the Kentucky Center for Investigative Reporting found, many in Kentucky applied for unemployment benefits after Beshear said those who “self-quarantined” for fear of the coronavirus would be eligible. The state later backtracked, sticking those who had self-quarantined with overpayment debt, and blamed shifting guidance from the federal government for the mistaken payments. The state has already requested a waiver from the federal government to forgive this debt, and Kinnaird from the Labor Cabinet said they have not received a response to the request. Givens said he is waiting to see if the waiver is approved before pursuing a legislative fix. “We have a lot of needs right now and one of those most important needs is to keep people employed,” Givens said. Dan Borsch, who owns the Old Louisville Tavern and Burger Boy Diner, said he’s concerned about future tax increases when uncertainty is at an all-time high. “I want to say it’s not make or break but who knows exactly how much business is going to come back and how fixed costs are going to be six months from now,” Borsch said. “It all adds up.” Borsch said the unemployment system is clearly outdated and needlessly adversarial, pitting employers against their employees. And since Kentucky made contract and gig-economy workers eligible for unemployment benefits, Borsch said businesses like his with traditional employees foot the bill for companies like Uber that don’t pay unemployment taxes. “I’m concerned that it is going to be a large expense going forward,” Borsch said, “and it’s just frustrating that we don’t have a better system.” Bailey of the Kentucky Center for Economy Policy says the unemployment taxes paid by Kentucky businesses are already historically low, but he worries the current recession will usher in another round of benefit cuts without addressing the holes in the unemployment system. “What we should be doing in this next legislative session is learning the lessons from this and putting in the improvements that are needed for next time,” Bailey said. “This is not our last pandemic, and it’s not our last recession. One way or the other, more problems are coming.” •
DEC. 7-11
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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GRASSROOTS GROCERIES GROCERIES:: BLACK WOMEN TEAM UP TO FLOOD FOOD DESERTS… AND BEYOND By Danielle Grady | dgrady@leoweekly.com
Photos by Kathryn Harrington Shauntrice Martin showed her son Iniejah Allen Jr. how to dig up the remaining strips of sod.
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
SHAUNTRICE Martin’s grocery store, Black Market KY, opens next month in a transformed Domino’s location at the border of the Russell and Portland neighborhoods. A 20-minute walk away in Russell, Megan Bell is working on opening a mini mart, also in January. It will be one of two physical locations — there’s another coming to St. Matthews — for her grocery delivery business, The Next Door Market. In Old Louisville, Cassia Herron has found an office space for the Louisville Community Grocery, a cooperatively owned concept, which after six years of work is the closest it’s been to opening in an underserved area of the city. All three grocery concepts grew from a goal to provide healthy food to people in areas of the city where fresh groceries are not easy to find. They all emerged from years of disinvestment by grocery chains and the city’s failure to find solutions. They’re all spearheaded by Black women who have lived (or still live in) such neighborhoods. And, all three women are supporting each other and planning to work together to make sure their concepts succeed. “We’re doing this because of the need,” said Herron, 41, “and that, if one of us is successful, then that means it’s a more, higher propensity that the other stores are successful.” There are other efforts by community members to supply underserved areas with groceries: a local entrepreneur, Tammy Hawkins, opened the Parkland Neighborhood Food Mart in October. Over the past 15 to 20 years in Louisville, Herron has watched as supermarket chains have abandoned poorer, often Black, areas of the city — further drying up existing food deserts there. And she hasn’t been satisfied by the city’s response, which has included investing in nonprofits, community gardens, mobile markets and small stores — but hasn’t solved the problem. “We have heard our mayor talk about a local food economy and local food for 10 years and we’ve seen six grocery stores close,” said Herron. “And we haven’t seen
the urban rural community partnerships that we envisioned 20 years ago when we started farmers markets in these neighborhoods.” So, she said, “we are putting our money where our mouth is — around really helping to imagine and create the kind of food system that we know that we deserve.” They’re doing it on their own. Herron, who has a masters in urban planning and used to live in Shelby Park’s food desert, has been working on the Louisville Community Grocery for years. Bell, who was a stay-at-home mom, started to form Next Door Market with her husband, Branden, around the time the pandemic hit. And Martin, who has worked for and directed various nonprofits in Louisville and other cities, created the Black Market as an outgrowth of Feed the West, a charitable effort that Martin started with Change Today, Change Tomorrow. She began the program to supply West End residents like hers with groceries after the area Kroger closed in June in response to protests over the police killing of Breonna Taylor. This was all before the Louisville Metro Council passed a budget this year to allocate $3.5 million to a “community grocery” in an underserved area of the city. It’s something Herron has been waiting for — an investment from the city in a community-led grocery. But, it went out to bid, not directly to her, and she, as well as Martin and Bell said that they have felt as if members of the local government and news media have tried to pit them against each other as competitors for the crumbs of funding. The city’s capital budget, as passed, said the money was for a “Louisville Community Grocery,” which is the name of Herron’s project. But the committee’s chair, Councilman Bill Hollander, said the appropriation was never meant for a specific concept. Council member David James said he originally thought it was meant for Herron’s project but learned after it passed that his colleagues did not think the same. Martin and Bell said they will not file a request for the community grocery funding because they believe it belongs to Herron’s
project. “Obviously, I have a new business. I am a single mom. I would love $3.5 million,” said Martin, who is 35. “But, I’m not willing to take that from someone who worked for it. Because as much as I know this grocery store is going to make a difference, we need more than one grocery store in The West End.” Bell, who is 31, said, “They are community-owned, and the community will own that store, so it will be super beneficial for them to have it than anyone else to have it. And it was already promised to them so they deserve it.” One local news station still asked if Bell was going for the money. And Martin said that Metro government employees involved with the city’s Build Back Better, Together initiative, which she’s also a part of, have told her to apply for it. In a statement, Mayor Greg Fischer’s spokesperson Jean Porter said, “There is absolutely no effort to pit anyone against another.” Porter offered that Metro’s Director of the Center for Health Equity did talk to the Louisville Community Grocery and New Roots Market, a nonprofit that runs farmers markets for low income individuals, to clarify that the funding was not directly allocated to any group and that there would be an RFP process. By choosing to collaborate rather than compete, Herron, Bell and Martin hope that their projects will last and be consistent sources of food that their communities haven’t had in recent years. During a 10 month period in 2016 and 2017 alone, four Louisville grocery stores in low income areas of the city closed, including two Kroger locations. Last year, the company started a mobile market with the help of Dare to Care, but it temporarily left the streets this year because of the coronavirus pandemic, although it is now back. “We’ve been talking about this for months: When we’re going to open, how are we going to do it, how we can collaborate,” said Martin back in September. “Because that’s part of the issue previously is that a lot of these stores, there was no coalition between businesses. Not because they didn’t want to, but it just wasn’t part of their plan. So we feel like that’s going to be a real change is to have that coalition up front as we’re still in the planning stages.” Bell said, “It’s great because we’re learning from, we can learn from each other as far as what works best for each other.” Martin, Herron and Bell want to eventually start buying supplies from producers together to get a discount — and have Bell pick them up with her truck. All of the stores will be far enough away from each other that they won’t be jostling for the same customer base, as well, said Martin. And, there other aspects that make the different grocery concepts unique…
BLACK MARKET KY
Shauntrice Martin’s goal for Black Market KY is sustainability. Not just sustainable food, although she’s committed to providing healthy, local options to customers. “We don’t want to make something great that only lasts a
Shauntrice Martin.
couple months,” she said. To keep Black Market KY around, Martin said, she needs several things, including reliable employees, affordable groceries and for the for-profit grocery store to be integrated with the community. To attract and create dependable employees, Martin plans to pay a living wage and provide child care and transportation for their first Leia Sexton was one of the several volunteers who worked on painting the Black Market KY building. month of work. To make that possible, she plans to forgo living in The West End. Their groceries will be subsidized a salary initially. She also intends to hire people who have by people from outside the community shopping there, felony records and help them work on figuring out what to called “Accomplices.” do next in their lives. “Historically, West End residents have not been given Black Market KY has already forged connections with equal access to healthy, affordable food so Black Market KY the community, Martin said, through her work as the founder is ready to change that and disrupt the food apartheid,” read of Feed The West. But, she plans to strengthen those ties a social media post by the Market. with a community garden, free farmers market on Saturdays Martin wants Black Market KY to carry what the nearest and grant writing workshops. The Market will become not Kroger doesn’t. Martin is also the creator of the Bok Choy only a grocery store but a community hub for resources, Project, in which she enlisted a group of volunteers to visit Martin said. Kroger locations across the city. She found that grocery “What I’ve seen over the years is that businesses come stores in neighborhoods with higher Black populations had without even talking to the community and it fails,” she smaller produce sections, fewer organic options and a police said. “Because people didn’t even want it in the first place presence. or they can’t afford it or just don’t need the service. And the Kroger responded to Martin’s claims in a statement sent other thing to me is making sure that we are something, we to the Courier Journal in July, in which a spokesperson are different. We are not coming in here, putting bars on the named Erin Grant said that the company was reviewing its windows to indicate that we’re scared of the community. produce variety in West End stores and would be creating an This is going to be part of this neighborhood.” area in its produce section for customers to let the company The groceries Martin sells will be sold at cost for those know what it was missing. The company has invested more LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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Megan Bell.
than $2 million in its West End stores in the past three years, Grant said. Seventy to 80% of the Black Market’s inventory will be fresh fruits and vegetables, Martin said. She also plans to sell the essentials, such as rice, bread, milk (cow and nut milks), meat and toiletries — with a focus on products coming from Black-owned businesses. Some specialty brands, such as Wells Made peanut butter, might be more expensive than the economy brand versions, but Martin wants to expose shoppers to more Black-owned businesses. Martin said she is happy seeing other Black-led ventures such as Bell’s and Herron’s bringing fresh food to underserved areas. She thinks it will help with her overarching mission of sustainability. “I think, for this to survive, there would have to be other options, too,” said Martin. “So having the Louisville Community Grocery, having Next Door Market, having the Black Market is going to make a difference for all of us. Because we can better deal with the market shocks. Because that’s going to happen. There’s going to be times when the farmers can’t get here for whatever reason. I might need to grab some stuff from Cassia’s market. We want to make sure that all three are successful and sustainable.”
THE NEXT DOOR MARKET
Megan Bell wanted to open a traditional, brick and mortar grocery store in The West End. One that would serve high-quality goods, like you would find at Trader Joe’s or Whole Foods. But first, she and her husband, Branden, a physical therapist, decided to test their idea out with a mobile market. And they soon found that a grocery delivery business has benefits
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that the average physical store does not. It’s convenient for customers Bell said, and it’s also not limited to serving just one area of the city; Next Door Mobile Market can cater to food deserts in The West End, Newburg, and it can even help people living in places such as The East End who might not want to go grocery shopping because of COVID-19. “One of the things that you know, people, customers love is that it was just more flexible,” Bell said. “You see Instacart; you see Amazon. Amazon now works with Whole Foods. You see all of those corporations are now starting to collaborate with companies that already do deliveries.” Next Door Market sells everything you’d find at a grocery store, Bell said: produce, meat, dairy items, household supplies, baby products and more. Some items, such as the produce, are priced comparably to Kroger’s. Some are more expensive because Bell’s priority is to sell high-quality products, which often aren’t found at grocery stores in predominantly Black areas of the city. Bell and her husband grew up in Newburg. There were and still are no Whole Food-type stores in the neighborhood, Bell said, and her parents, who had a car but struggled with health problems, would not have driven far away to go to one. With Next Door, Bell is also placing an emphasis on selling local products and items from Black-owned businesses. The Market has same-day delivery and drop-off locations. Not only can Bell deliver throughout Louisville, but she also can send goods across the country. Next Door Market has its own truck for local deliveries, but for out of state and customers in other parts of Kentucky, Bell uses USPS, FedEx — whatever she needs — to ship products. These customers aren’t ordering groceries, but they will buy local products: For example, out of state buyers have purchased an elderberry syrup sold by a local business. Bell still wants to open a brick-and-mortar — two, actu-
ally. The mini mart in The East End should open near Mall St. Matthews this month, and the one in The West End will be part of The Village at West Jefferson — to be open on or after Jan. 11. Since starting to work with Martin and Herron, Bell said, the three women are learning from each other, and their skills complement each other’s. Martin, Bell said, knows how to engage with the community. Herron, she said, is good at organizing people to get work done. And as for herself, Bell said she’s learned how to run a business with a small team.
LOUISVILLE COMMUNITY GROCERY
Cassia Herron is ready for the Louisville Community Grocery to open. “We’ve been working on this way too long for it not to be further along already,” said Herron, who is the president of the Louisville Association for Community Economics. The grocery is one of the nonprofit’s projects. Herron has been toiling on this vision for six years: A cooperatively-owned grocery store in Louisville, selling healthy, affordable and local food. It wouldn’t just engage members of the community, it would be run by them. Members pay a fee based on income, and in return, they have a say in how the store is managed. And, if the store makes a profit, they get to collectively decide what to do with the money. The grocery’s members are still trying to decide on a location, but Herron said it will likely be located east of Bell’s and Martin’s West Louisville stores — more likely in Shelby Park, Smoketown or Old Louisville.
Cassia Herron.
Over the past five months, the co-op has added around 230 members for a total of 330, with the help of its first employee, ownership advocate Lisa Ann Markuson. That’s “great progress,” said Herron. It took about a year for the co-op to accumulate 100. The LCG also recently received a $30,000, unsolicited grant from the Community Foundation of Louisville. Then, there’s the city money. In Herron’s years of working on the grocery, Metro government has never contributed money to her project. Although Herron believes the recent appropriation was meant for her at the outset, she’s now committed herself to responding to the city’s RFP by its January deadline. The RFP says that the proposal must address how it meets needs that the public identified. The Louisville Community Grocery sounds like what they want: A communitydriven, locally owned project in a food desert that focuses on locally sourced fresh produce and meat options. A preference will be given to projects operated by vendors who are currently in Louisville and those who pay
employees above $10.10 per hour, according to the RFP. Herron told LEO that she wants to pay employees living wages, but that the grocery has not yet shored up that detail about its operations. Food justice, according to Herron, is about filling a community’s basic needs. “We are what we eat, and if people eat shit, they feel like shit,” she said. “If they don’t get anything to eat, they don’t feel like much. I know what it’s like for me when I’m hangry, and I try to eat three meals a day. And I can’t imagine what it’s like to eat a $1 burger once or twice a day and think that I’m going to be able to make rational decisions or feel good about myself.” To Herron, the budget appropriation is a sign that the city government might have realized what they need to do to actually solve that problem. “What I see is a response to what we’ve been asking for for years, which is support to see our vision and our dreams to come to reality,” she said. “We’re not necessarily asking for a handout. We’re asking for support to create
the things that we know that we have the ability to do in our communities.” But, the city’s response is still “too slow and not enough,” she said. Herron would like to see Metro Council disinvest in Louisville police and invest in other services, including pumping more money into food justice — something like $30 million for food projects instead of $3.5 million. With that kind of money, there would be more to go around for other projects like Martin’s and Bell’s. Herron envisions the three women expanding their partnership to envelop more businesses. Their idea to share suppliers to bring costs down could be expanded to include other parties. “We imagine that we will be able to help not just those two stores but corner stores, other retail outlets where people are currently able to spend money to access food but not able to access good food,” she said.
LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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Tammy Hawkins in front of Parkland Neighborhood Food Mart.
PARKLAND NEIGHBORHOOD FOOD MART
Tammy Hawkins, the owner of the Parkland Neighborhood Food Mart, has worked only with Martin and Feed the West — not Herron or Bell. But, she is another Black, female entrepreneur who wants to contribute to and feed her adopted community. She has owned businesses in the Parkland neighborhood for 10 years. Once a hub of commerce, the area was devastated after 1968 protests over racial inequity, and it never recovered. But, something about the neighborhood stuck with Hawkins when she was looking for a place to open a daycare. “It just has a lot of kids, a lot of people, but it’s just not a lot of resources for that community,” she said. So, she gave them one: the daycare. Then, she opened another. And a corner store. “I’m not just in the neighborhood just to reap a benefit,” Hawkins said. “I’m more or less, I’m always here to help people. Always.” Hawkins’ first store was robbed and damaged by fire, she said, but she’s now replaced it with the Food Mart, which is bigger. She sells a variety of produce there: lettuce, tomatoes, celery, oranges and apples. It’s open longer than the nearby Kroger, she said: 6:30 a.m. to midnight. Hawkins also sells home essentials and breakfasts and lunches to customers. “There’s just nowhere close where they would still be able to get a good, hot, affordable meal,” said Hawkins. Hawkins is also a Feed The West distributor in the neighborhood, which is how she started working with Martin.
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Hawkins has not connected with Bell and Herron, but she knows the power of joining forces with other people and groups that have similar goals. She’s worked with a church and other women interested in helping the Parkland neighborhood, and it’s helped her grow. “I mean, knowledge is power, and they have good resources that we all have to give to one another,” she said. “It’s really a great asset.” •
STAFF PICKS
THURSDAY, DEC. 10-12
HoLLAdays!
Zoom | louisvilleliteraryarts.org | Prices vary | 7 p.m.
THURSDAY, DEC. 10
Author-Poet Conclave
Virtual | Carmichael’s Bookstore carmichalesbookstore.com | Free | 7 p.m. How much human interac-
READING tion has 2020 brought you? If you’re pining for a bit more — tantalizing brief connections — local author Kyle Coma-Thompson delivers with his tight, little prose collaboration “926 Years.” Each twopage entry’s titled with just a character name and age. Don’t confuse these with portrait sketches, though — this is true microfiction, and close-reading is rewarded. Some stories Alen Hamza.
take you through details of split-section action. Next might be interior recollections that draw out an arc of changing faith. Several observe how the young and old, or the disengaged and the devoted, can surprise themselves with their most intimate values. And occasionally, there’s an authorial bitch-slap to keep readers awake, aware, and alive. Two souls who are very much alive — poets makalani bandele and Alen Hamza, Kyle Coma-Thompson.
each capable of combining musicality, wit, and intensity—will join Coma-Thompson in Thursday’s virtual discussion. Go to “Events” on Carmichael’s website to hook you up with the app for connection. —T.E. Lyons
makalani bandele.
I’ve been reading more during the pandemic. I’m sure a lot of us have, with extra free time and an itch to flee from reality. It’s time to appreciate the novel, short FUNDRAISER story and nonfiction narrative and honor them and those who write them. At this virtual fundraiser for Louisville Literary Arts, you can attend readings by local authors and bid on silent auction items tailored to those of us who have always turned to books for comfort. Ron Whitehead, Rheonna Nicole and The Naked Poets (Marta Miranda-Straub, Aletha Fields and Kri Magesty) are some of the authors who will present their work. Carmichael’s Bookstore is also hosting a discussion on the books that the reader in your life will enjoy the most. The online auction items include works by Kentucky writers such as Wendell Berry, many of them signed; a literary agent critique for writers with a finished manuscript; writers’ care packages; and more. All events are free, except for Fridays, for which a $5 donation is suggested. —Danielle Grady
FRIDAY, DEC. 11
‘Mom, Which Hat Are You Wearing Now?’ Panel Discussion
Zoom | Carnegie Center for Art & History | carnegiecenter.org | Free | 7-8 p.m. How does a woman negotiate work and family when she’s also a creative person? That’s the theme CREATIVE of the panel discussion “Mom, Which Hat Are You Wearing Now? Motherhood, Personal Creativity and the Pursuit of Balance.” The creatives on the panel are Sara Louise Callaway, Dana Oldfather, Hannegan Roseberry and Skylar Smith. It is part of the programming for Oldfather’s current Carnegie exhibition “There Used to Be a Street.” Her work “explores relationships between partners, parents and children, friends, people and nature” with a focus on motherhood. Join in and add to the discussion. —Jo Anne Triplett
Clockwise upper L to R: Sara Louise Callaway, Dana Oldfather, Skylar Smith and Hannegan Roseberry. LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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STAFF PICKS
FRIDAY, DEC. 11
Peoplewatching — killii killii’s Visual Album / Record Release Event killii killii’s YouTube channel | Free | 7 p.m.
It’s been basically a wash this year in terms of events, and that includes one of the music scene’s best MUSIC kinds of gatherings: the local record release party. It is an opportunity to not only hear new tunes from a revered local artist, but it’s also the day that a particular artist generally sells the most records all year. The Louisville noise rock band killii killii isn’t letting the pandemic cancel the release of their new album Peoplewatching, but to keep everyone safe they’re going virtual. Albums will be available for purchase through a link below the video. —Scott Recker
FRIDAY, DEC. 11
Late For Dinner With Folk In Glory, The Kids Born Wrong And Nectar Valley
YouTube Live | Search Facebook | Donations encouraged | 8 p.m. This is possibly the most eclectic edition of Late For Dinner, Art Sanctuary’s quarantine-era MUSIC music series, says host Jeff Jobson. Punk trio The Kids Born Wrong are playing, as well as Chris McDaniel. McDaniel is also a punk musician, but he will be playing acoustic versions of songs from his band, RON, as Folk in Glory. And, Nectar Valley will be serving up alternative Bluegrass. You might not think it all goes together, but it will. Oh, and throw in some dollars for Art Sanctuary. The venue/artist space The Kids Born Wrong performing at needs the help. —LEO Kaiju Jan. 7. | PHOTO COURTESY OF LONNIE TURNER.
SATURDAY, DEC. 12
Polar Bear Grand Prix
Virtual | Search Facebook | $30 | 9 a.m. The first leg of the 17th annual Polar Bear Grand Prix — a three-race, winter series — is kicking off with the Reindeer Romp 4K on Saturday. There are prizes for the men’s and women’s overall winners, winners of each individual race, and winners among RUN 14 different age groups, from 9 and under to 70 and over. Also, new this year is a team challenge, open to groups of three to five men, women or coeds. Unfortunately, COVID-19 closures and government mandates have forced organizers River City Races to take the first 4K virtual. But don’t use this as an excuse to be lazy! It’s not a grand prix if you miss a race… plus you won’t get the race bag of goodies. Both subsequent races, the Frostbite 5K in January and Snowman Shuffle in February, will be held on the Ohio River Greenway in New Albany (with more goodies). —LEO
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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TUESDAY, DEC. 15
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Virtual | redpintix.com | $30 nonmembers, $23 for members) | 6-8 p.m.
Sto Fre
Writing & Healing Virtual Workshop
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Writing, in its various forms, can be an outlet for the most personal thoughts and opinions, feelings and emotions. For goodness’ sake, writing was my weekly No SELF-CARE therapy through the Bevin years! That’s why some find enormous value S in keeping journals: They are an outlet to unload the emotional burden of your thoughts, even if just on paper. Author Nancy McCabe leads this virtual, interactive-writing workshop tie to on using writing as personal healing. an Among the many intellectual and an other benefits, “studies have shown you physiological effects from expressive writing such as reduced heart rates and blood pressure and strengthened immune system,” according to organizer, Louisville Literary Arts’ event page. McCabe “directs the writing program at the University of Pittsburgh at Bradford and teaches in the low residency MFA program at the Spalding University School of Creative and Professional Writing.” —Aaron Yarmuth
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16
Big Howell & Possum Live! Online | Twitch | 8 p.m. | Free
The zany comedic duo Big Howell FUNNY & Possum are streaming on Twitch every Wednesday, giving you the chance to see a virtual installment of a beloved show. For the last few years, Big Howell (who also releases music under Howell Dawdy) and Possum (a Local comedian in a full possum suit) have brought their unique brand of comedy to Louisville and beyond, appearing at events, through their own YouTube and Twitch channels as well as on WFPK. During the pandemic, they’ve started a weekly stream, first at Planet of the Tapes. Recently, they’ve been watching and commenting on videos each Wednesday on their Twitch channel. —LEO
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STAFF PICKS
WEDNESDAY, DEC. 16
Christmas Car Parade
Now offering in-person private lessons! (masks required)
StoryPoint Middletown | 500 Meridian Hills Drive | Search Facebook Free | 5:30 p.m. Normally, our staff picks are for fun or interesting things you can do for yourself. This is a thing you can do to bring fun to others, although we bet it will be SPREAD CHEER pretty enjoyable to take part in, too. Like most senior living facilities, visitors have not been allowed at StoryPoint Middletown. To bring holiday happiness to them, family, friends and members of the community are invited to decorate their cars and parade past the building. Break out the lights, inflatables, Christmas trees and tinsel — and maybe queue up some Christmas tunes to blast. Residents will watch from inside. Plus, you’ll be able to drop off gifts and grab something sweet to take home for yourself. —LEO
2108 Bardstown Rd. Ste. B wwpilates.com 502.694.8838 Get healthy, stay safe!
THROUGH DEC. 31
Louisville Bar Bingo
UPCOMING EVENTS
Various locations | Search Facebook | Prices and times vary Support some Louisville bars and restaurants doing things the Andy way. Ten local establishments that are part of the Responsible Bar & Restaurant Coalition BOTTLES UP will be selling two different holiday-themed cocktails every week of December — each with the establishment’s own touch. Pick them up to take home or enjoy them on a heated patio, and you’ll receive a stamp on your Louisville Bar Bingo card. If you collect 16 stamps, you’ll be eligible to win gift cards and baskets. Personally, I’m most interested in the holiday sangria and intrigued by week three’s cookie Jell-O shot. Your destinations are Gold Bar, The Limbo/ Riot Cafe, Mag Bar, theMerryWeather, Meta, Noche Mexican BBQ, NoraeBar, Ostra, ShopBar and Zanzabar. —Danielle Grady
THROUGH DEC. 15
Authentic Authoring and Confessional Writing
DEC. 12
Holiday Bourbon Raffle Ovarian Awareness of Kentucky Online
THROUGH DEC. 31
Winter Woods Spectacular
Louisville Parks Foundation
Louisville Literary Arts Online
Writing & Healing Virtual Workshop
DEC. 15
Louisville Literary Arts Online
redpintix.com LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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Willow - Are you looking for a buddy
that can help you stay warm this winter? Well meet Willow! This 10-month-old Great Pyrenees mix is ready for this cold weather and loves to be outside sniffing through the leaves or chasing squirrels. Although she’s almost 70 pounds she still has that puppy spirit and is learning about manners and being an overall good doggo. Willow loves to keep busy and would do well as a dog with a job or with an active family that can keep her body and mind engaged. She loves to play and learn new things. She’s enjoyed the company of some other dogs but has been selective so she will need to meet any potential doggy siblings. She has not lived with cats although she’s very interested in kitties she sees while out on walks. She would be best in a home without cats. Willow is approved to go home with children ages 10 and up. Willow is spayed, micro-chipped, and up-to-date on vaccinations. To learn how to meet Willow, visit kyhumane.org/dogs today!
Carrot - Say hello to Carrot! This
handsome five-month-old arrived at the Kentucky Humane Society when a rural shelter ran out of room. Carrot seems okay around other cats, but he acts a little rough around canines. Carrot does have an active form of Feline Herpes (FHV). This just means that Carrot will sometimes have respiratory flareups like sneezing or runny eyes. Many cats carry FHV during their lives, but Carrot happens to be one of the few that show outward signs! FHV is contagious only to other cats. Thus, Carrot must remain either the only feline in his new home or with other cats who are known to have FHV as well. His diagnosis isn’t stopping him from acting like a typical kitten, though. He is still playful and full of love! Plus, when you adopt Carrot, you get a daily dose of veggies AND a lovable companion! Carrot is also neutered, microchipped, and up-to-date on his shots. Head over to kyhumane.org/cats to schedule an adoption appointment at our East Campus, 1000 Lyndon Lane.
STAFF PICKS
THROUGH JAN. 2
Winter Woods Spectacular
Iroquois Park | 4800 New Cut Road | winterwoodsspectacular.org $35 | 6 p.m. nightly open Nothing captures the imagination and spirit of WINTER TRAIL the holidays as the beauty of glowing lights on long, dark nights of winter, and nobody does it better than the Louisville Parks Foundation. The Winter Woods Spectacular is a half-mile trail through Iroquois Park adorned with millions of light and artistic scene installations set to themed sounds and music. This year, because of COVID, it will be a half-mile drive, not walk. But, at least it will be warmer. It’s an annual tradition that adults will enjoy (almost) as much as the kids. Tickets are $35 for cars, SUV, minivans and trucks, but they go up if you’re driving a vehicle made to hold more people. —Aaron Yarmuth
THROUGH JAN. 3
Holidays At The Big Bat
Louisville Slugger Museum & Factory | 800 W. Main St. sluggermuseum.org | Prices and times vary Movie theaters might be closed and Lights Under Louisville canceled, but you can take the kids to the Louisville HOME RUN Slugger Museum for a Christmastime activity this year. Tickets are limited and timed for tours, and kids 12 and under get in free until Jan. 3 with promo code FROSTY2020. Plus, they’ll receive prepackaged bat nub ornaments sets with crayons and holiday stickers and, if you come on Sunday, a limitededition holiday mini-bat. —LEO
THROUGH JAN. 4, 2021
‘Yule Be Home For Christmas’
Revelry Boutique Gallery | 742 E. Market St. | revelrygallery.com | Free Christmas trees and ornaments go hand in hand (limb to limb?). There are plenty of YULETIDE places to get unique decorations in the city, including at Revelry’s holiday show. It’s hosting its fourth annual ornament exhibition both in-store and online. The handmade ornaments are made by 15 local artists, including Bri Bowers, Harrison Fogle and Field & Forest Design. Revelry will ship your purchase gift wrapped if requested. —Jo Anne Triplett
‘Pickle’ by Harrison Fogle. Resin.
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
MUSIC
MURDER BY DEATH’S CURVEBALL CHRISTMAS RECORD
LONESOME HOLIDAY CONTAINS COVERS, STANDARDS AND A FEW ORIGINALS By Scott Recker | srecker@leoweekly.com CHRISTMAS MUSIC is probably deeper, heavier and more nuanced than it gets credit for. Sure, there’s the eye-roll-inducing singa-alongs that exist for a quick hit of serotonin, but there’s also the material that deals with isolation, longing and despair, and on the other end of the spectrum, thankfulness, joy and appreciation. At first glance, Murder By Death, a band known for ominous tones and cutting songwriting, might not seem to fit the Christmas album mold, but it makes sense that they could capture the lightning of a season with crushing emotional weight. And that’s what they did on the 11-song album, Lonesome Holiday, a collection of standards, covers and a few originals, released on Dec. 1. “We knew it was going to be a strange Christmas for everybody, so we were like, let’s do a somber holiday record that fits the mood of the year,” said singer/guitarist Adam Turla. Lonesome Holiday isn’t here to provide a jolt of festive spirit — it recognizes the gloom that can cast its shadow over the winter season, and the doom and isolation caused by COVID-19 continuing its brutal course. The album also acknowledges the positives, but it doesn’t lean into escapism or shy away from reality. “Murder By Death kind of touches on these big feelings, we don’t do a lot of middle ground kind of material,” Turla said. “That’s sort of the concept of this band, big stuff — really dark, really sad, really joyous.” The band initially recorded a couple of Christmas songs as demos about half a decade ago, but shelved them. After recently reworking those songs, filling them out with more depth, they turned them into the layered and rich songs on Lonesome Holiday. And then, after they were looking for a project during the pandemic, Murder By Death started writing and recording more holiday music, rounding a seed of an idea into a full-length record with such classics as “Blue Christmas” and covers including Lindsey Buckingham’s “Holiday Road.” “I didn’t want to work on an album of new material because we were still enjoying touring on The Other Shore, and it was a fan favorite, so it was like, let’s not do a regular record, let’s do something we never would have done,” Turla said. Originally formed in Bloomington,
Indiana and now based in Louisville, Murder By Death has released eight records of originals — first, 2002’s Like The Exorcist, But More Breakdancing and most recently 2018’s The Other Shore. Spearheaded by Turla and cello player Sarah Balliet, Murder By Death have established themselves as a fiercely independent rock band with a cult following. And that artistic freedom has led to experimental projects such as Lonesome Holiday. They’ve also recorded similar projects, such as a series of covers records that are available to patrons of their Kickstarter page, which sometimes funds their original albums. Turla said the covers projects keep things fresh with the band, and it also makes them all better musicians. “We’ve all become better players by doing these Kickstarter covers albums,” he said. “They each have like 15 tracks on them, and they’re everything from jazz to metal to folk rock. We cover everything from Megadeth to Leonard Cohen on those things. It keeps you learning and what’s making these songs the way they are.” Like many bands, Murder By Death had to cancel several tour dates, including a run in Europe. Turla and Balliet, who are married, also own the restaurant Pizza Lupo, adding to the challenges of 2020. Lupo temporarily closed early in the pandemic but is now offering take out, and Turla is proud that the restaurant was able to rehire people laid off in the spring. Turla and Balliet are usually either traveling the globe or helping to run the restaurant, so a year in isolation has been daunting, but the writing and recording sessions for Lonesome Holiday not only gave them something to do, but also the ability to creatively explore challenging times.
Murder By Death.
Because Murder By Death might not seem like a band that would release a holiday record, Turla said it wasn’t until he released a short preview that the album started to see a lot of pre-orders. “It wasn’t until that I did a sneak peak of the album, the first 15 seconds, of ‘I’ll Be Home For Christmas,’ suddenly the sales shot up and people were like, ‘Oh, this isn’t going to be like fucking ‘Jingle Bell Rock,’” Turla said, laughing. “There’s beautiful content out there and there’s winter songs, there’s the sadness and the bleakness of the season, there’s so much nostalgia.” •
Lonesome Holiday is currently sold out of vinyl copies, but is available digitally on Murder By Death’s Bandcamp page.
LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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FOOD & DRINK
RECOMMENDED
Our hefty lunch bag from Royals included broccoli-bacon salad, cole slaw, and lots of spicy dips.
SUPPORT OUR LOCAL RESTAURANTS: THIS WEEK, ROYALS HOT CHICKEN By Robin Garr | LouisvilleHotBytes.com THE LOUISVILLE DINING SCENE is facing a grim scenario as I write this, and we’ll be looking down the barrel of a disturbing deadline when you read this. Let’s talk about this, but first, as I’ve told you before: Get out there and order as much takeout food from local restaurants as you can and tip ‘em as if you’re Scrooge McDuck. They need all we can do for them right now. Here’s the heart of the problem: Restaurants and bars are perceived as potential pandemic hotspots, with reason: Even with social distancing, they attract people to gather indoors in crowds, and to make matters worse, it’s impossible to mask up for others’ protection while you’re eating and drinking. That’s why restaurants and bars have borne a disproportionate share of regulation since COVID-19 came to town. Sure, restaurants were quick to boost takeout programs and patio dining; new laws allowing liquor takeout and delivery also helped the bottom line. The federal CARES Act brought some relief, too. But the combination of limited capacity and, for many usual diners, fear of contagion, left the restaurant community, owners, kitchen staff and servers alike, in what amounted to an economic depression. Now winter is coming, and COVID19 cases are leaping to higher numbers than ever. It surely didn’t surprise anyone when Gov. Andy Beshear announced in
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
Two classic chicken tenders at Royals, breaded and fried, no sauce. | PHOTOS BY ROBIN GARR.
mid-November that all the state’s restaurants and bars were to shut the doors to indoor dining again, from the evening of Nov. 20 through Dec. 13. Meanwhile, struggling restaurant owners and employees were deeper under water than ever. But who could they blame? Kentucky’s unemployment office for red-tape delays in paying insurance? U.S. Sen. Mitch McConnell for stonily resisting efforts to get another CARES Act through Congress? Nervous diners for staying away? There were enough potential villains to form a circular firing squad and Beshear had a large target painted on his suit for doing what he had to do. Some restaurant owners have had enough. One group, the Kentucky Restaurant Rescue Coalition (kyrrc.com), gathered signatures on a petition declaring that they would reopen at 50% capacity on Dec. 14 even if the governor tells them not to do it. Meanwhile, another group of local restaurateurs, the Responsible Restaurant & Bar coalition (rbrclouisville.com), isn’t talking about defying the governor, but they want Beshear to understand everything they’re doing to keep us safe. It’s a hellishly difficult situation. Owners want to keep their businesses. Workers want their jobs. Diners want to eat safely. Politicians need to regulate and when public health and safety is at stake, that’s
A pair of blocks of Royals Nashville-style hot tofu, crusted and fried, covered with fiery hot sauce, and served on white bread.
FOOD & DRINK
FOOD & DRINK
PAIRINGS... WHAT TO EAT AND DRINK TOGETHER
BOURBONS BISTRO EGGNOG AND KIZITO’S OATMEAL COOKIES By Susan Reigler | leo@leoweekly.com
Loaded fried potato wedges from Royals Hot Chicken.
reasonable. And we all, of course, want this pandemic to be over. When I saw Ryan Rogers’ name on the Responsible Restaurant group, I remembered that his Royals Hot Chicken restaurant had just opened its third shop near Middletown, right in the middle of the pandemic. This guy puts his money where his mouth is, and also, I’m told, makes sure that tips coming through the door from online orders get around to everyone. It was a no-brainer. Its food is good, it’s inexpensive, and I’ve never had such fast curbside service. The online form asked for my car make and color, and when they saw me coming, the guy came running out with our brown bag before I got parked right. Royals does hot chicken, Nashville-style, and the menu is based on variations of this theme. You can get three-piece or two-piece chicken tenders or tofu blocks in five grades of heat, with prices ranging from $7.79 to $10.29, plus hot chicken or tofu tacos, sandwiches, or a la carte, plus waffle fries, potato wedges or even a vegetable plate if that’s what you really want. We tried an order of two classic fried tenders ($7.79), which are breaded and fried but lack the fiery Nashville hot treatment. The flour-based breading was admirably crisp and tightly bound to the meat. The fully cooked white-meat chicken was tender but not soft. They sat on a slice of good white sandwich bread. A two-piece order of hot fried tofu ($7.79), ordered in the middle of Royal’s
five-level scale, was hot enough to make me sweat. Two neat rectangular logs of firm tofu were cloaked in a thick, reddish brown coating that dripped deliciously onto white bread. The tofu’s fresh, mild flavor got a kick from the crunchy crust and fiery sauce. Dishes come with your choice of side. We enjoyed a cup of finely chopped broccoli and bacon salad studded with sweet golden raisins, red onion squares, yellow cheese shreds, in a sweet and smoky mayonnaise dressing. The coleslaw was first-rate, too. Fresh, crisp shredded cabbage was mixed with carrot shreds, celery slices and finely chopped green onions in a creamy mayo dressing. A side order of loaded potato wedges ($8.29) got soft in the takeout box, but they were still good and even better re-crisped in the toaster oven the next day. They were sprinkled with hot-pepper powder and topped with pickled red onion strips, thin white cheese sauce and chopped green onions. Lunch for two came to $25.37, plus a 25% tip. •
ROYALS HOT CHICKEN SHELBYVILLE ROAD 10310 Shelbyville Road 242-7200 royalshotchicken.com
I HAVE A VIVID (AND FOND) Christmas party memory of a friend who loves certain little square hamburgers as much as I do. She served them for the occasion on silver platters and ladled up cups of her father’s special eggnog. Let me simply say that as much as I love that dear friend, the sum was not as great as the parts. Eggnog is, along with baseball and drive-thru everything, one of America’s cultural contributions to the world. And
it may have originated in the same city as the Declaration of Independence. Its first mention in print was in a Philadelphia newspaper in 1788 and European travelers to the new United States saw it, as recounted by cocktail historian David Wondrich, as “…one of the novelties Americans were inflicting on the art of drinking.” There was even a special tool for mixing it. The eggnog stirrer consisted of a splint of wood inserted perpendicuLEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
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FOOD & DRINK larly into the end of a larger wooden stick. Her oatmeal confection certainly lives It was submerged in the nog and the mixer up to its “deluxe” designation. Depth of rubbed the stick between both palms for a flavor is added to the oats, brown sugar, whirligig mixing motion. eggs, milk and butter-based batter with the Upon reflection, eggnog is almost addition of raisins, walnuts, vanilla and even a touch of coconut. nutritious, containing as it does eggs, Brauner’s eggnog needs no embellishmilk, vanilla and nutmeg. So, it’s practiment, but if you do want to change it up cally seething with protein, calcium and a a bit (and it would still pair just fine with host of benefits from the spice including the oatmeal cookie) you might want to as an antidepressant and immune system try a couple of variations on the standard booster. All good, right? Then, of course, nog. In the Kentucky Bourbon Cocktail there’s the alcohol. Early versions used rum or brandy. There are even Texas Book that I co-wrote with Joy Perrine, the recipes employing mezcal. (Shudder.) But sadly late former bar manager at Equus modern, and certainly Kentucky eggnog, Restaurant and Jack’s Lounge and Kencontains bourbon. tucky Bourbon Hall The higher the of Famer, there are a Upon reflection, proof, the better. couple of flavor riffs on the holiday drink. That is appareggnog is almost They can be tailored ently Bourbons nutritious, Bistro proprietor to the Bourbons Bistro version. Jason Brauner’s containing as it To 4 ounces of eggnog philosophy. He uses Knob Creek eggnog, add one half does eggs, milk, 120 proof bourbon ounce of chocolate vanilla and nutmeg. liqueur. Joy had in his nog. The recipe is secret, but Godiva’s, So, it’s practically designated real vanilla beans but that’s been play a starring role, discontinued, so try seething with and it’s available Copper & Kings protein, calcium for carryout from Destillaré Intense the restaurant on Chocolate Liqueur and a host of Frankfort Avenue (another Louisville by either the drink company) or Trader benefits from the or by the bottle. Vic’s Chocolate spice including as It’s spicy without Liqueur. being too sweet How about pistaan antidepressant and is dangerously chio eggnog? Easy. and immune system To the 4 ounces of drinkable given the heavyweight bournog, add half an booster. All good, bon used. ounce of Dumante Verdenoce PistaThe perfect pairright? Then, of chio Liqueur and a ing with Brauner’s course, there’s the couple of drops of potent eggnog is green food colorthe equally not-tooalcohol. ing. You can serve sweet and wonderboth variations in fully chewy Deluxe stemmed wine glasses, topped with a Oatmeal Cookie from Kizito Cookies. sprinkle of nutmeg. For extra color, garNo doubt you’ve seen, and very probnish with a small candy cane hung from ably have purchased, the 5-inch diameter, the side of the glass and serve with two individually wrapped cookies, which are a short straws. best-selling countertop item at many area Whichever version of Bourbons Bistro groceries and coffee shops. Baker Elizaeggnog with the Kizito oatmeal cookie beth Kizito’s shop on Bardstown Road is you land on, it will be a great pairing to also unmistakable with its bright yellow facade. And Kizito herself has become leave by the fireplace on Christmas Eve to something of a fixture at Louisville Bats guarantee that Santa will not leave coal in baseball games sporting colorful wraps your stocking. • from her native Uganda and selling her treats from a large basket she carries on her head. There’s a reason she’s known as “The Cookie Lady.”
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LEOWEEKLY.COM // DECEMBER 9, 2020
ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT | COMICS
YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD
COMIC BOOK REVIEWS! ‘Symbiote Spider-Man: King In Black’ No. 1
Writer Peter David and artists Greg Land, Jay Leisten and Frank D’Armata Review by Krystal Moore, The Great Escape Louisville
AT THE END of Marvel Comics’ Secret Wars storyline, Peter Parker’s costume is destroyed on an alien planet. He’s given a new one, all black and with the ability to seemingly read the mind of the person wearing it. Fast forward, and he’s back on Earth, and he’s out and about doing your average superhero stuff like saving kids from getting hit by cars and such while unbeknown to him Kang the Conqueror has kidnapped one of The Watchers to help him “save the universe.” If that’s not enough craziness for one comic, add in a visit to the Ravencroft Institute for the Criminally Insane by a mysterious shape-shifting entity looking for a host. Peter Parker just so happens to be on assignment there as all the people in the building are being turned into inky black, physically powerful beings. How is all this connected and why does one of them call Peter “brother”? Before it’s over, we go out into space and run into even more guest stars! The next chapter of this story is on sale Dec. 2, “King in Black” No. 1. Sheesh! •
‘‘Miskatonic’ No. 1
Writer Mark Sable and artist Giorgio Pontrelli Review by David Williams, The Great Escape Louisville
ELDRITCH HORROR, Anarchists, and the Klan, oh my! That’s what you’ll find inside the sickly green pages of “Miskatonic” No.1, a new horror mystery series from Aftershock. The year is 1924. Women can vote, alcohol is banned, and freshly appointed head of The Bureau of Investigation J. Edgar Hoover has a special assignment for Agents Miranda Keller and Tom Malone: head to the sleepy hamlet of Innsmouth, Massachusetts to investigate the gruesome death of Ephraim Waite, and do it quietly. Upon their arrival, they receive a not-sowarm welcome from the locals, who still exhibit symptoms of a century-old plague, giving them their signature green skin and creepy “Innsmouth Look.” Deeper digging by the bickering sleuths reveal the sinister hooded Order of Dagon may be behind the strange occurrences. Miskatonic is immediately intriguing, using its alternate historical setting to bring some social commentary and inherent dread to the forefront. Additionally, the art and coloring add a real sense of queasiness. I can practically smell the salty sea air and dead fish rotting on the dock. FFO: “The X-Files,” H.P. Lovecraft and “Boardwalk Empire.” •
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Plot lines? Coffee variety named for a Mideast city Emergency situation caused by a terrier Pre-snowstorm purchase Hit with a beam, maybe Makes watertight Mascara applicators Dozens of them are sold Actor Wallach Friends you may never have met Salon job named after a comic book hero Danson of ‘‘The Good Place’’ Building girder Actress Lyonne Compulsive thieves, informally ‘‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away,’’ for one Hydrocarbon suffixes The thought is there Serving of tea, to Brits River near Rotterdam Some lawn maintenance tools Who wrote ‘‘Undeniable: Evolution and the Science of Creation’’ Recipient of special treatment, in brief Very cold Klingons, e.g., for short What Hypnos is the Greek god of ____ Plaines, Ill. Liquor component Over Outdoor Part of a glass ... or glasses Before: Abbr. More dangerous to drive on, in a way
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PHOTO BY RACHEL ROBINSON
ETC.
SAVAGE LOVE
By Dan Savage | mail@savagelove.net @fakedansavage
THE CASSEROLE
Q: Something is bothering me and I don’t know where else to turn. I’m a bisexual man. I’ve been married to a great guy for the past six years. Despite COVID we gathered safely for an outdoors Thanksgiving dinner with my family. My mom, my brother and sister-in-law, and my adult nieces and nephews and their partners were there. Each household contributed to the feast and we had a wonderful evening. While my husband and I were snuggling in bed later he said that my casserole was a big hit thanks to the “secret ingredient.” When I asked what he meant, he informed me that he had deposited my come from a blowjob he’d given me earlier that day in my half-finished casserole. When I asked why he did this, he said he thought it was hot and he was aroused watching my family ingest it. To me, this seems a bit twisted and feels like a deeply disrespectful act toward my family. Now I cannot sleep and it is impossible for me to think of anything else. I wish he had never told me. I am writing to you as I don’t know where else to turn. Confused And Shuddering Sleeplessly, Entirely Revolted Over Loaded Entrée A: Some letters you suspect are fake, some letters you know are fake, and some letters you hope are fake. I wish I could say this letter fell into the second category—a letter I knew to be fake—but I once got a letter from a man who would excuse himself at dinner parties, quickly rub one out in the bathroom, and then dip the bristles of his hosts’ toothbrushes in his semen. (That was twenty years ago and I still secure my toothbrush in a secret, undisclosed location whenever we have company.) So as much as I wished we lived in a world where something like this could never happen, CASSEROLE, we sadly don’t live in that world. That said… some details don’t add up. I’ve been in the receiving end of plenty of blowjobs in my time, CASSEROLE, and there are tells when a guy doesn’t swallow. A man who’s holding your load in his mouth has a certain look; his mouth and jaw are set in a particular and revealing way. There’s also no post-blowjob kissing or snuggling. And if you were to say, “Thank you, that was great,” and they hummed back, “Mmmhmm,” instead of saying, “You’re welcome,” you would immediately know the guy didn’t swallow. And yet you would have us believe that your husband somehow gave you a blowjob and somehow didn’t swallow your load without you noticing and then… what? He strolled around the house with a mouth full of come until the opportunity to defile your casserole presented itself? Then again… impromptu blowjobs sometimes happen, CASSEROLE, and they sometimes happen in kitchens. So I suppose it’s possible
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your husband interrupted you while you were making a casserole and then quickly leaned over and spat your load into your casserole and managed to give it quick stir… without you noticing the spit or the stir? Sounds improbable… but I suppose your husband could have created a diversion that took your attention off him and that mouthful of come and your casserole long enough to execute the spit-and-stir maneuver undetected. Perhaps he pointed at something outside the window or tossed a flash-bang grenade into the dining room. But even if he did all of this—blew you, didn’t swallow, created a diversion, spat your semen into a casserole you planned to share with your entire family—would he tell you about it? The guy who was glazing his friend’s toothbrushes didn’t brag to his friends about it. He wrote to me about it, described it as a compulsion, and asked me how to stop. That your husband would be so clueless as to think you wouldn’t be revolted and upset by this is, if you’ll forgive me, a little hard to swallow. Still… your nieces and nephews are adults… so it’s possible you and your husband are getting up there in years… and he could be suffering from early-onset dementia; inappropriate sexual behavior and poor impulse control can be early symptoms. So on the off, off, off chance this actually happened, CASSEROLE, here’s my advice: If your husband spat your load into a half-finished casserole and then watched your whole family consume it and then assumed you would think it was hot, CASSEROLE, then you absolutely, positively need to divorce him. Let us count the ways you can’t trust this man: you can’t trust him with your semen, you can’t trust him not to feed your come to your mother, you can’t trust him around your siblings and nieces and nephews. You can’t even leave him in the company of an unaccompanied casserole. So unless you looked into his eyes on your wedding day and thought, “This is a guy who would feed a woman her own son’s semen and I’m fine with that,” your husband isn’t the “great guy” you thought he was. He’s a monster and what he did unforgivable, even criminal. Divorce the asserole. You might want to consider calling the cops and pressing charges for sexual assault—here’s hoping you saved some of the casserole for DNA testing—but you’ll have to weigh involving the police against burdening your mother with the knowledge of your Thanksgiving casserole’s secret ingredient. P.S. A casserole is really more of a side dish at Thanksgiving, isn’t it? A personal note: Allena Gabosch was a towering figure in Seattle’s sex-positive community. She co-founded Seattle’s Beyond the Edge Café,
which quickly became a warm and welcoming home for Seattle’s queer, kink, and poly communities. She went on to lead Seattle’s Sex Positive Community Center, aka “The Wet Spot,” and helped launch the Seattle Erotic Arts Festival. She was a gifted public speaker, a tireless advocate, and a hilarious storyteller with a giving and generous spirit. She also made the
best chocolate chip cookies in town. Allena will be missed and she will be remembered. My condolences to her many friends and many families. mail@savagelove.net Follow Dan on Twitter @FakeDanSavage. www.savagelovecast.com
CLASSIFIED LISTINGS LEGAL Notice is hereby given by Auto House #1 4035 Bardstown Rd Lou, KY 40218 (502) 493-8188. Owner has 14 days to respond in writing to obtain title to the following: 2014 Ram, VIN-1C6RR6FT6ES353511. Owned by Derica Green 4313 Norbrook Dr, Louisville, Ky 40218 Lien holder as Auto Venture Acceptance 6626 Preston Hwy, Louisville, KY 40219. Cellco Partnership and its controlled affiliates doing business as Verizon Wireless (Verizon Wireless) proposes to build a 35-foot pole Communications Tower at the approx. vicinity of 1300 Challis Circle, Louisville, Jefferson County, Kentucky 40211. Public comments regarding potential effects from this site on historic properties may be submitted within 30 days from the date of this publication to: Trileaf Corp, [Amelia Missavage, a.missavage@trileaf.com], [1515 Des Peres Road, Suite 200, St. Louis, MO 63131, 314-997-6111]. Importdoktor, 1387 Lexington Rd, Louisville, KY 40206; 502/584-3511 is seeking to obtain a clear title to 05' VW Passat; VIN# WVWCD63805E024598 -Owner Patricia Gann, 620 England St, Louisville, KY 40217. -Sale date 12/23/20. lmportdoktor, 1387 Lexington Rd, Louisville, KY 40206; 502/584-3511 is seeking to obtain a clear title to 08' VW GTI; vin# WVWGV71K48W248625- Owner Ian Schuler, 3721 Bardstown Rd, #612, Louisville, KY 40208- LeinHolder Fifth Third Bank; 1196 Ohio Pike, Amelia, OH 45102- Sale date 12/23/20.
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NOTICE OF SEIZURE AND INTENT TO FORFEIT Notice is hereby given that the United States Department of the Interior is hereby commencing a forfeiture proceeding against the following items of wildlife or wildlife products, which were seized in Southern District of Florida on the dates indicated because they were involved in one or more violations of any of the following laws: Endangered Species Act, Title 16 U.S.C. Sec. 1538; the Marine Mammal Protection Act, 11 U.S.C. Sec. 1371-1372; the Lacey Act, 16 U.S.C. Sec. 3372; Wild Bird Conservation Act, 16 U.S.C. Sec. 4901-4916; or the African Elephant Conservation Act, 16 U.S.C. Sec. 42214245. These items are subject to forfeiture to the United States under Title 16, U.S.C. Sec. 1540(e); 16 U.S.C. Sec. 1377; or 16 U.S.C. Sec. 3374, and Title 50, Code of Federal Regulations, Section 12.23. Any person with an ownership or financial interest in said items who desires to claim them must file a claim with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Office of Law Enforcement, 1875 Century Blvd Ste 320, Atlanta, Georgia 30345; Telephone 404/679-7057. Such claim must be received by the above office by September 24, 2018. The claim will be transmitted to the U.S. Attorney for institution of a forfeiture action in U.S. District Court. If a proper claim is not received by the above office by such date, the items will be declared forfeited to the United States and disposed of according to law. Any person who has an interest in the items may also file with the above office a petition for remission of forfeiture in accordance with Title 50, Code of Federal Regulations, Section 12.24, which petition must be received in such office before disposition of the items. Storage costs may also be assessed. FILE NO.
SEIZURE DATE
VALUE
2020402907
9/1/2020
$1650
ITEMS One (1) American Alligator (Alligator mississippiensis) (Leather products (small manufactured including belt, wallet, watchband)), One (1) (Mollusc shell) (Jewelry (other than ivory))
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